Latest / She's On The Money / He Convinced Her To Buy Property With Her Inheritance… Then Tried to Take It in the Breakup

Transcript

He Convinced Her To Buy Property With Her Inheritance… Then Tried to Take It in the Breakup · She's On The Money

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: My name's Natasha Bamblet. I'm a proud First Nations woman
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: and I'm here to acknowledge country t Glenn Young Ganya
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: nianar Kaka yah y and beIN Ahaka nian Our gay
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: In Mbina yakarum jar Dominyama Domaga Ithawaka Woman, Damon Imlan
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Bomber bang Gadabomba in and now in wakah ghan On
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: yakram jar Watnadaa. Hello, beautiful friends, we gather on the
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: lands of the Aboriginal people. We thank acknowledge and respect
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: the Aberiginal people's land that we're gathering on today. Take
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: pleasure in all the land and respect all that you see.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: She's on the Money podcast acknowledges culture, country, community and connections,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: bringing you the tools, knowledge and resources for you to thrive.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: that lets you be pervy on other people's money habits
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: for educational purposes of course. Welcome back to another one
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: of our money diaries where we get the chance to
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: talk to one of our incredible She's on the Money
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: community members all about their journey. Now let's jump in
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: because this week I got an email and it sounded
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: exactly like this. Hi, she's on the money. My fiance
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: convinced me to use my inheritance to buy an apartment
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: and put him on the title as a joint tenant.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: Two months before the wedding, he said it's you, not me,
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: and tried to force me to sell the apartment so
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: he could get money he didn't put in in the
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: two years since I've submitted a PhD thesis, of course,
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: she has got a new job, then got a thirty
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: thousand dollar pay rise, and I am finally the sole
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: owner of the apartment he convinced me to buy. She's
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: on the money. Help me build my confidence and audacity
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: through this journey, and I am forever grateful. Queen. Welcome
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: to the show.
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much for having me. It's really exciting
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: to be here.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: Sorry, this guy sounds like a douche. I'm so glad
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: that the wedding didn't happen. What do you mean it's
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: you not me? It was never you, It was him, Tossa.
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: Well, that's what my therapist has helped me come to
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: the realization of.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: Like that is textbook manipulation. Like just could he have
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: been a little bit more subtle.
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: At least he was subtle at the beginning. That's why
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: I stayed with him so long. But then it just
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: got worse. It kept going on, and then yeah, just
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: at the very end, he's like, no, don't want this anymore.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, but I do want your apartment. So
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: let's go with that money queen. I want to start
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: at the very start before I get the pleasure of
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: asking you about your money story. I'm going to ask
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: you what grade would you give your money habits if
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: I asked you to give them a grade from A
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: through to F.
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: Naturally, I just want to go straight F. But actually
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: thinking about it and thinking about where I've come from
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: and where I am now, I think I'm comfortable seeing AC.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: Plus C plus Sorry, you submitted a PhD thesis, got
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: a job, and then got a thirty thousand dollars pay rise,
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: and you're the sole owner of the apartment. Somebody else
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: convinced you to buy. So like, we're probably going to
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: have a little bit of beef in this interview, and
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: that's fine. Work through it. And you've got a therapist,
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: so you could probably talk to her about that after
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: C plus, Queen, you already don't sound like a C plus,
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: but let's get into it. I'm so pervy. I need
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: to know. Tell me more about your money story.
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so, I think, as I said, like a lot
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: of what I've gone through has come from my ex.
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: But kind of going back to how I got into
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: that situation, I was late diagnosed with ADHD and this calculata,
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: So basically my entire childhood and the beginning of being
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: an adult, I kind of really just had knew that
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: there was something wrong with me, but didn't know what
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: it was. I just thought I was really bad at math,
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: really bad at money, and like having a casual job,
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: I just spent all of my money and had nothing
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: the end of it. And then with the ADHD, I
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: also had this massive need to people please, so I
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: would also spend my money pleasing people, buying things because
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: I knew that made me happy, so I always just
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: yet I had absolutely no money to my name. And
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: then when I did get with my ex, he kind
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: of I didn't know this at the beginning, but he
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: kind of saw that about me and then basically always
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: said like negative comments about my ability with money, kind
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: of destroying my confidence in that sense. And then when
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: we were living together, it was kind of a He
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: would say, Oh, you're really bad with money, so why
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: don't you buy everything we need and I will save
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: for our future. So as far as I was where,
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: he was saving for our future and for our wedding
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: and everything like that. And then I was buying everything.
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: I was paying all the bills, I was buying clothes,
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: his underwear that he wore and everything like that. And
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: then at that time, I thought our relationship was really
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: healthy and loving, and I was obsessed with this man,
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: so I would do anything for him, just like that
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: bread crumbing that my therapist has stalked about totally.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: And when you have ADHD, you'd lean real heart into
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: that too.
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly exactly. And then yeah, I started doing my PhD.
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: Halfway through that. I was on forty thousand dollars a
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: year while I was doing my PhD, and every cent
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: that I had was going into that relationship. And then
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: finally I came into my inheritance, which obviously was really
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: really upsetting, but I finally just had access to all
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: of this money, and I've never had access to money.
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: Everyone's always told me that was really bad at money,
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: and I trusted my ex and I was like, I
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: don't know what to do with this. If it stays
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: with me, I will spend it. And he said, well,
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: that's enough to buy a house. So we started looking
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: at a house. But then that fell all completely to
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: me to find a house, find an apartment, and so
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: I did all that paperwork, I did everything. I used
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: my money for the deposit, We used his income because
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: he was full time working and I was only on
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: forty thousand dollars. Yeah, So then we ended up finding
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: the apartment, used my entire inheritance to fund the deposit,
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: buy all the white goods, buy all the furniture, everything
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: for it. And by the end of it, I had
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: nothing with his income. He was military, so we were
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: able to go through Defense Bank. We'll be able to
• 6:17
  Speaker 4: get doehouse. And he said that the money that Dohaus
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: was giving us was his contribution to the mortgage, so
• 6:23
  Speaker 4: he didn't put anything extra into it.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: This man, oh I know.
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and then so two months later.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: Two months he didn't even give it more than two months.
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah. This was during COVID, so like the house prices
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: were just astonomically increasing. So we got a really good
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: deal on this apartment. Two months later, he turned around
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: and told me he had been having an affair. He
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: was leaving me because during my PhD I wasn't giving
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: him enough attention. This other woman was giving him the
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: attention that he needed.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: I hate this man. I like, I'll fight him, Like
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: ahh yeah, No.
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: My friends are exactly saying whenever I tell them this story,
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: they're like, if we had known what he was like.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: So this man was like, great, I'm going to take
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: advantage of money, Diris, get her to get a house.
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: I'm going to gaslight her about you know, what the
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: military contributes, and that could be micro contribution. Also, by
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: the way, I've been cheating on her the whole time
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: because I'm just a stellar human being.
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, But like people pleased this, I was like, oh,
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: it's obviously something wrong with me. I'm doing the wrong thing.
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: No, no, I want to shake everybody who does that.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: It was never you. And do you know what, you
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: could have been the worst partner in the entire world.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: You still don't cheat? Yeah, like you could have been.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: You could have been, and like I already know you weren't.
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: Like I can tell from your vibe and your personality
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: and what you've achieved, since that's not you at all,
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: but the idea that they're like, well, I had permission
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: to cheat because she did this. Cer leave the relationship.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: If you want to be with somebody else, you are disgraceful.
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah. And the worst part is is the person that
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: he was cheating on me with knew that he was
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: soon to be married, because this was also two months
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: before we were going to actually get married, because the
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: goal was I would submit my PhD thesis and we
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: would get married at like that whole event. So it
• 8:12
  Speaker 4: was just a nice, big day, just celebrating all the
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: good things, you know, the end of a lot of
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: stress that I've been going through.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, in theory, gorgeous, except he was a douchebag. You
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: know what. The cream always rises to the top. That's you,
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: and we can just pick you up and take you
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: out of that situation, even if it's painful. You're in
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: a better situation now, are you okay? Because that feels
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: like a lot of trauma to go through.
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: It was especially writing a PhD thesis at the same
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: time going through all of that, so it was a
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: lot all at once. But I feel like something in
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: my head just clipped, like it just everything kind of clicked,
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: and I was just able to just separate it as like,
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: all right, I'm going to focus on my thesis, going
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: to submit this, have a PhD, and then I would
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: deal with all of that mess later. So we did
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: get to it.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: Okay. So we got through that. And you mentioned before
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: you have got some therapy, which is a ten out
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: of ten idea, because I feel like you were saying
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: before I thought it was my fault. No, queen, no, no,
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: tell me now, you did your pH d thesis in.
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: What cancer immunotherapy? So using surgery to treat cancer?
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: Stop it? That is so cool. Tell me more about
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: your job. What do you do for work? Now? How
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: much do you earn?
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah? So I have three sources of income three Yeah,
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: to be able to get the mortgage on my own,
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: my full time job wasn't enough. So for my job,
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: I am a research officer. I'm currently earning ninety five
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: thousand dollars with twelve percent super. On top of that,
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: the company I work for is a charity, so I'm
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: able to access fifteen thousand of that tax free, and
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: that goes directly into my mortgage. Then I'm also a
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: tutor for high school human biology that brings in about
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: ten thousand a year, but I do that as a
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: soul trader, so I automatically put half furd aside to
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: make sure I pay tax, and I pay my hex
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: and Super as well for that. And then at the
• 10:07
  Speaker 4: same time of me going through all of this, I
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: was kind of lonely. So one of my best is
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: she was like, I'm going to come and help you.
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: I'm going to come and live with you. So she
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: moved into my spare bedroom and she stayed here ever since,
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: and she pays me two hundred dollars a week in rent,
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: so I get about ten thousand dollars a year from that.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: Sorry, you have this calcula and you are managing all
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: of this and also doing your own bloody tax returns
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: and putting money aside for tax. Sorry, this is iconic.
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: It's very hard, but a lot of what I've learned.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: I didn't say it was easy, but how many people
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: just don't even try. When they're like, oh, I've got this,
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: I could never. I could never. Like you tell yourself
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: this narrative that you have to fall into a particular
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: box you are outside of that. You're like, no, no, no,
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: that's not going to stop me. It can't be that.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: Hard men do finance and we know what they like.
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: Honestly knowing all of this stuff actually comes down to
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: listening to you and the pop podcast. Because when I
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: separated from my eggs, one thing I knew I needed
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: to get my money sorted. So every day I would
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: go for an hour walk just to sender myself and
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: I would listen to Shoes on the Money.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: So we've been hanging out for ages.
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, every day for three years.
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: We're basically best friends that haven't met yet. I love this.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: This is so good. Tell me a little bit more
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: about the process, because do you know what he put
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: you in? A tricky situation? He wanted you to sell
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: the apartment. How did you stop that from happening? How
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: did he get hands on any money?
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: Like?
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: What does that look like?
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so at the time when we separated, I wasn't
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: earning enough money to get a mortgage on my own,
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: but I had a little bit of money put to
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: the side which I was able to use to hire
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: a lawyer. So my lawyer was able to really do
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: a good job of what he deserved what I deserved
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: and basically push the process out to a point where
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: I would be able to get a mortgage on my
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: own because I fell in love with this place, so
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: I didn't want to leave it. I didn't want to
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: sell it.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: And it's kind of your inheritance. Still, Yes, you were
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: pushed down a certain route, but like, that's still what
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: your inheritance purchased.
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly. I'm attached to this place. I didn't want
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: to get rid of it. So she really helped me
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: going through that process. We had to go through the
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: family court basically to divide all our assets because we
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: were de facto so he was entitled to half of everything.
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: I was entitled to half of everything. But the only
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: asset we had between us was this apartment. At the
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: time of valuation, the apartment was worth basically if we
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: were to split it in half, it was one hundred
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: thousand dollars, so fifty thousand dollars for him, fifty thousand
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: dollars for me. So I was able to increase my
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: mortgage by fifty thousand dollars to buy him out. And
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: that's that's how I ended up doing it.
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: Good job Queen also fifty grand to get him to
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: jump in the binn perfect.
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah, obviously hard lawyer fees on top of that. So
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: in total, I think it was about sixty five thousand
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: dollars I spent, but worth it?
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: And what will that look like in the future if
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: you meet somebody else and go or I'm going to
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: set up shop. Are you now a little bit more
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: protective of these things or like, have you got a
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: plan in place? Because I feel like once you've been traumatized,
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: once you were like this is you cannot come near me?
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: Yeap So listening to your podcast, I learn about buy
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: any financial agreements and also talking to my lawyer about
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: like how to set up everything like that. So if
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: I do get into a relationship and I think is
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: going serious, I'm going straight back to my lawyer. I'm like, hey,
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: can you set this up for me?
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: And yeah, yes, yes, iconic move.
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: I love that.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: So you've got your apartment. I feel like you are
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: absolutely on such a good track. What's your next big
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: money goal? What are you currently working towards?
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: Well, I spent all of my money to be able
• 13:44
  Speaker 4: to get this apartment, so I don't have an emergency fund.
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: So my next big money goal is to finally get
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: that emergency fund for me, and then I also have
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: three cats.
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: Oh you are my PayPal.
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, I want to be able to pay for them,
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: so I need like a good fund. And then eventually
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: I want to go back to UNI and I want
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: to study to be a veterinarian. So I also kind
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: of want to be able to find myself through that.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: You're such a wholesome human being. I love this. Of
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: course you want to be a vet though you've got
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: three cats. I would have three cats if my husband
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: would let me have three cats, but we had to
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: set all on two cats and a dog. And right now,
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: my next thing that I keep asking for is a duck,
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: so we'll get there.
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: I also want ducks, yeah.
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: I want to do I need two ducks, and I've
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: decided I want runner ducks because they look like the
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: coolest type of duck, long neck one. Yeah, with the
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: long necks, and they look a little bit comical. I
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: just think that would be so fun. I would love
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: for ducks to live in my garden. My husband does
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: not feel the same way. All right, let's get back
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: on money track. We're going to take a really quick
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: break and on the flip side, I'm going to ask
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: you more about this mortgage, how it worked, what it
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: looks like, what debt is on it, and I want
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: to know about investing and then best and worst money habits.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: So guys don't go anywhere. All right, money Diarist, we
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: are back, and this story is juicy. Don't get me wrong,
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: love a good money story, but I do like hearing
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: a little bit of the drama as well, Like and
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: my favorite type of drama is the type where you're like,
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: I'm actually fine now, but this is my story where
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: you're not going through it at the moment, so it's
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: like all clean, you know. So jumping into this, you're
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: in the She's on the money community. You and I
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: have been hanging out for like an hour every day,
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: which is so crazy. Do you invest if not? What's
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: the plan? If so?
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: In what? Yes? So obviously I have my super I
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: was working casually most of my life, so it's not
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: a lot. But I was really lucky that my best
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: friend married the financial advisor who specialized in super so
• 15:41
  Speaker 4: he set that up. And I've got about sixty thousand
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: dollars in there.
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: What do you mean you don't have much. You're literally
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: thirty one with sixty grand in super sit down.
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and then also from she's on the money, I've
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: started actually investing. So I've only been doing this for
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: about a year, but luckily my income allows it, so
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: I've managed to get that too. Sick. Five hundred dollars
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: in ETFs.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, sorry, that is iconic. You're like, yeah,
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: so it's not much, and then you slam me with
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: sixty grand in super and six grand in shares. Sit down.
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: How did you make the first move when it came
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: to shares, because I feel like so much of the
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: time women, especially when we maybe have been through a
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: lot financially, we're so scared to pull the trigger. How
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: did you decide to purchase your first ETF?
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: Well, I'd learned about investing through the podcast, so I
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: knew it was something that I wanted to do, and
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: it aligned with my values more than like buying a
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: house would have if I'd known about that beforehand. But
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: ADHD very impulsive, looked on Reddit Reddit, so this was
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: a good idea. So I pulled the trigger straight away
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: without even doing any more research. Not the smartest thing,
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: but it's like that.
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: Well, no, sorry, that was just like the gateway. You
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: can change it after that. But like literally for a
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: lot of people, that's taking the first step. How has
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: your investment journey gone having dyscalcula because that is quite challenging.
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: And the thing that I think is one of the
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: big misconceptions is that money is numbers and money is
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: not numbers. If you start to learn more about it,
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: the numbers we can do that you don't have to
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: add anything together. We have calculators literally on our phone.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: Shout out to my Grain nine maths teacher who was like,
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: you're not going to have a calculator walking around every day? Yeah,
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: I do. I do, and it's fine, and I actually
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: don't need you. You don't have to be good at
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: maths to be good at money. So tell me about
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: how that has impacted your investing journey.
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: So the biggest issue that I have with the this
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: calculator is that I struggle getting numbers in the right order.
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: So I always have to double check whenever I do
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: any sort of maths anything to do with numbers, because
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: I can read them the wrong way. So that really
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: impacts my ability to budget because I'll do a budget
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: and then I'll realize I've got something wrong in that budget,
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: and then I've spent more money than I thought that
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: I had, So it hasn't impacted investing in any major ways.
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: More that I might have accidentally put in more money
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: than I thought I had, or I've put in less
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: money than I thought I had so that I could
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: add in a bit more.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that makes sense? And does that make it?
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: Like as you said, like you read your budget and
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: for those of you playing along at home, discalcula is
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: where you literally look at numbers and they scramble and
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: they make no sense. And it's not because you're not smart.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: It's literally they flip around in front of you and
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: it's your eyes basically playing tricks on you. So a
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: million dollars could look like a thousand dollars. How do
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: you then identify in your budget what's wrong? Like do
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: you go, oh my god, Like, how do how do
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: I work this out? Because that could be really confusing.
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's taken me a long time to kind of
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: get my budget to somewhere where it's automated and I
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: don't have to worry about it. But it took a
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: long time setting it up, double checking that like I've
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: put in my bills correctly, double checking that, like I've
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: got enough amount of money for food, and so once
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: I double checked everything and I got it to a
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: point where it was fine. It's just automated, Like everything
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: just tracks and I don't need to worry about the numbers.
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: I love automation for ADHD, but also for this, like
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: it's probably like doubling down and being beneficial for you.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: How do you manage? And I'm just so pervy on
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: this because like I have ADHD as well, and I
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: can be impulsive, but I also feel like I'm now
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: good at managing my budget. But when your budget is
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: challenging and you have ADHD, how does that play out?
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: So I've learned that I am very impulsive, and I
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: get a lot of dopamine from spending money, so trying
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: to not do that is the worst thing possible. So
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: now I have a line item in my budget called
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: dopamine fund, and that is money that I can spend
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: freely on anything that my brain is like, oh I
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: kind of want that one, Oh I kind of want that.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: I say that I feel spendy. I'm like, oh, I
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: feel spendy today, And I like talking about it, because
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: I'm like, if I talk about it, maybe we can
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: talk me out of this. But that's genius having a
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: line item that is like, okay, so on the days
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: that I'm feeling spendy, I'm not actually going to ruin
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: my financial plan. How good, quin, I love that talk
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: to me about debt. It took you a while to
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: get into a position you could take on a mortgage solo.
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: What does that mortgage look like? How much did you
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: purchase that house for? What is it worth?
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: Now?
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: Give me all the nitty gritty.
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So, originally the house was purchased for four hundred
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: and seventy five thousand dollars. Then with the deposit, it
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: brought it down to four hundred and twenty thousand dollars,
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: and then I had to add fifty thousand dollars to
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: that so then I could own it on my own.
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: So it's now at four hundred and seventy two thousand dollars.
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: But over the past two years since it's all happened,
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: apartments have just increased in price and it's now worth
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: six hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: Stop it, you're sitting on such nice equity. Yeah, And
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: I mean it's not nice to have to pay your
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: ex out. No one wants to give your ex money.
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: I don't even want him to have that money, do
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: you know what? I hope he blew it all. I
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: hope he doesn't benefit from it. But the fact that
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: you got to keep the asset that increased in value
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: and he got none of that pie iconic.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Ah.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: I literally love that for you so much. So tell
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: me about mortgage stress, Like what does that look like?
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: Obviously you've now been approved for a mortgage, but you said, look,
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: I've got three sources of income to make sure that
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: I can service this mortgage. Is that something that eats
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: away like fifty percent of your budget or like, what
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: does that look like?
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: So it's about forty percent of my full time income,
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: So it is a bit stressful. But having the tutoring,
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: which I can take on more if I need a
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: bit more money, or do a bit less if I don't,
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: and then also having the income my best he pays
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: me for the spare room also help so I know that,
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: like it's always going to be paid and it's always
• 21:34
  Speaker 4: the first thing I pay, so them I don't accidentally
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: spend that money with my aiding HD. So it's stressful,
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: but I know that it will get better.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, one hundred percent, and as your income increases over time,
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: you'll be absolutely fine. It's just really stressful, Like, especially
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: when you first get your mortgage. I feel like the
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: first twelve months of being completely responsible for a mortgage
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: they're the worst twelve months because like, you've got to
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: work out what that actually looks. And I think that
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: it's so easy to do a budget at the start
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: and they might go, babe, it's three and a half
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: thousand dollars a month or whatever it is, and then
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: you go, great, that math maths. But then there's all
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: the additional costs around owning a house that maybe didn't
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: come with renting, and then you're like, wait, what do
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: you mean? And you won't have land tax, but like
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: if you owned a standalone home, you might be slammed
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: with land tax and you're like, wait, I didn't plan
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: for this, and you're just budget it's in a pickle
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: for twelve months while you go through the teething process
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: of working out what's going on. Do you have to
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: pay body, corporate and stuff with your property?
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah? And that was again, like I didn't know anything
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: about home ownership when I bought this place. It was
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: just he said he wanted an apartment. So I was like, fine,
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: we have the money, like this is for our future,
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: so oh go jump a head in first. And then yeah,
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: I found out, you know, we have to pay water
• 22:47
  Speaker 4: rates because where I live, owners have to pay the
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: water supply and usage. Then obviously the electricity supply as well.
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: I have to pay my council rates, have to pay
• 23:01
  Speaker 4: like strata fees, and then yeah, the mortgage itself. So
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: there's all these extra costs. I didn't even know was
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: the thing until I owned a house. And then maintenance
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: as well, like I have to get some of my
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: taps changed because they're leaking. House Like this is so expensive.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: And you can't just call your landlord and be like, hey,
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: the tap doesn't work and then it magically gets fixed.
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: What do you mean I have to pick the tap
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: by the tap, get a plumber to install the tap,
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: and then follow the plumber up if the tap still leaks.
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: What do you mean? That's too much responsibility and money? Yeah,
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: and let alone anything else you like, if that air
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: conditioner breaks, I will riot. Yeah, oh my gosh, I
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: totally get it, but I do feel like the first
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: twelve months, and I always like warn my clients. I'm like,
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: it's not just the mortgage repayment, queen, it is all
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: of the other stuff that comes along with owning it.
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: And then yeah, it's just a lot. But it sounds
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: like you've got a pretty good handle on it. Talk
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: to me about your best money habit. What do you
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: think that is?
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: I think, really my best money habit has come from
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: understanding my ADHD, so understanding that my money will slip
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: away because I just want to spend it to make
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: me happy. So I think, yeah, having that dopamine fund
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: is really my best habit is because I can spend,
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: but I'm not sacrificing any of my other goals for it.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: And I mean, you're still investing, and you still have
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: your mortgage, and you've got a good super and you
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: said before that your bestie is in a relationship with
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: a financial advisor, so that benefits you because you know
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: that that's just taken along. Well, I feel like you're
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: in a pretty good position. Flip the narrative for hot second, though,
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: what's your worst money habit?
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: My cats, I will buy them the best things of
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: everything without even thinking about it. Like I bought the
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: May two thousand dollars scratching tower because I was like, oh,
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: they really like it? You want?
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: I can't even justify that. Can you please send me
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: the link? I need to know what it looks like.
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: It's not attractive, but it's so it's like twice as
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: tall as I am.
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: Is it like functional? Do they like it? Did you
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: spend two grand and then your cat was like, I
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: actually prefer a cardboard box like mine would. Or do
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: they like their scratching post.
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: They've done it before, or I've spent a lot of
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: money on them and then they've hated it. But I
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: found the trick is all of my cats react to catnip,
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: so if I spray catnip on it, they will follow
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: the cat nip up and now they associate it with
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: them and they use it.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: I love that. I recently bought my cat a new
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: bed and this morning I found him sleeping on it
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: on a wet bath mat in the bathroom.
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: Usual story.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, but that's Burmese for you. They're just a
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: bit how you're going, and that's why you can't let
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: them out I know you're not meant to let cats
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: out in general, but mine absolutely couldn't go out because
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: they would lay on the road when it was warm.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: So just one out of ten for cat ownership. But
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: I fully understand spending too much on them because I'm like, no,
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: they're my babies. They deserve it exactly, and you do.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: What I actually think is so funny about pet ownership
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: is that before I had kids, and when I announced
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: it i was pregnant with Harvey, people were like, oh
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: my gosh, your cat's are going to take a side line,
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: Like you know, they're not going to be as important
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: to you. They're just as important. What are you talking about? Like,
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: they are still my children. I now just have two cats,
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: a dog, and a child, and those are my children exactly.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: So nothing changes. So you think it might get a
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: little less spendy if you decide to have kids, it doesn't.
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: I'm so sorry to ruin that for you. It's for
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: the best money, dost. At the start of this episode,
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: I asked you what your money grade was, and you said,
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: I'm going to give myself a C plus. Okay, no worries.
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: I already told you that I was probably going to
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: try and fight you because you're an icon. You've got
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: a PhD thesis, You've got a thirty thousand dollar pay rise,
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: you now run your own mortgage. You've paid out this
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: douchebag of a partner that you had, you do tutoring
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: on the side, you're renting out one of your rooms.
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: I feel like you are doing me most. You're also investing,
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: like soy for someone with ADHD and discalcula to then
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: be like, Okay, I'm going to get into investing and
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: get into ETFs. That could have been a world that
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: was way too overwhelming and something You're like, you know what,
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: that's just not for me. I'm going to focus really
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: hard on just this mortgage stuff and like, you know, budget, Sorry,
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: you're running rings around so many people and doing a
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: really good job of it. What would an A look
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: like in your mind? If you think you're in.
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: A C plus, Yeah, I think it's because I'm still
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: quite at the beginning of that mortgage journey, like I
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: don't feel one hundred percent set on it. And then
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: I also don't have an emergency fund, so if something
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: were to happen to the apartment or something happened to
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: my cats, then I would have to go into debt
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: for it at this point, so I don't feel confident
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: to be able to just bounce back from anything easily
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: right now. So I think in order to increase my greed,
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: i'd need to be comfortable and feel safe.
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm not going to argue that. I feel like
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: that's a really good justification. And you know what, once
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: you start on your financial literacy journey and you start
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: to get a really good handle of what's going on
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: and how it's working, you do start to feel very
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: naked without an emergency fund. You go hold on, hold on,
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: hold on. I'm in a bit of like I'm in
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: a risky position here. I don't really like that. So
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: I can resonate with that. I would argue that your
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: money habits though closer to an a. Maybe you don't
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: feel that way because we feel a little bit naked.
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: But I think you're doing.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: Pretty bloody well. And I'm very very proud of you,
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: and I'm just so excited that I got to hang
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: out with you, got to meet you, got to have
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: a chat, and got to share your journey with the community.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: So thank you so much for joining us, and I
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: wish we had more time.
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much for having me. It's been an honor.
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: Oh don't be silly, right back at you, my love.
• 28:37
  Speaker 5: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
• 28:39
  Speaker 5: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances.
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: She's on the Money exists purely for.
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: Educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make
• 28:48
  Speaker 5: an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to
• 28:51
  Speaker 5: buy a financial product, read the PDS TMD and obtain
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: appropriate financial advice.
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: Tailored towards your needs.
• 28:58
  Speaker 5: Victoria Divine and she Is on the Money are authorized
• 29:01
  Speaker 5: representatives of money sherper P T y L t D
• 29:04
  Speaker 5: A b N three two one six four nine two
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: seven seven zero eight a F s L four five
• 29:10
  Speaker 5: one two eight nine