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MONEY DIARIES: The Ones That Shook Us in 2022! · She's On The Money

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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
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Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
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Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
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Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
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Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
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Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
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Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
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Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
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Speaker 4: for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another
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Speaker 4: one of our shop back Money diaries. Wait a minute,
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Speaker 4: we're not just looking at one on today's episode, but
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Speaker 4: we're talking about the diaries that shook us in twenty
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Speaker 4: twenty two. Today and I've wrangled on air the woman
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Speaker 4: who wrangles us sound producer and a Lisa, Hello and
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Speaker 4: welcome to my show.
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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, Victoria Devine, Hello, the silent voice here
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Speaker 2: an Lisa, just rocking it with you. On an episode today.
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Speaker 5: I love it.
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Speaker 6: I'm so excited.
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Speaker 2: I literally made you do this episode. So I need
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Speaker 2: to take responsibility for this.
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Speaker 4: Why for those of you who don't know and Aalisa
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Speaker 4: actually has her own entire radio show and has done
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Speaker 4: for literal years. So like, if anyone's actually equipped to
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Speaker 4: be speaking in front of a microphone, it's not.
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Speaker 2: Me, nod. It's because we love our Money Diaries. They
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Speaker 2: have my favorite episodes, they are our community's favorite episodes.
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Speaker 2: Steep dives are great, Friday drinks are great. But I
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Speaker 2: know that you love each and every episode. But I
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Speaker 2: literally twisted your arm to make you pick not top
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Speaker 2: one because they're all amazing, but the ones.
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Speaker 4: That's impactful, I think, Yeah, I think I was not
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Speaker 4: happy about it. And that's why you're here, because you
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Speaker 4: were like I don't even have to convince yes, I'm
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Speaker 4: gonna sit you down with No, don't worry about availability,
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Speaker 4: like you will do this for me.
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Speaker 5: No.
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Speaker 2: But it makes sense because I talk to these women.
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Speaker 2: I go through the emails and I like talk to them,
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Speaker 2: and I get this tremendous privilege of getting to meet
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Speaker 2: I feel luckier than you because I get to spend
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Speaker 2: more time with them.
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Speaker 4: Even I actually get really envious because often before our
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Speaker 4: money diaries, Analisa will be like, oh my gosh, Emily,
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Speaker 4: you're gonna love her and gives me like this beautiful rundown.
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Speaker 4: And then Emily comes on and she might be a
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Speaker 4: little bit nervous or whatever, and Analyst it's like, oh,
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Speaker 4: I don't worry, remember X, Y and Z. And I'm like,
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Speaker 4: why do you know so much about our diarist already?
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Speaker 4: And that's because every single time, Analsa will spend time
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Speaker 4: with them, getting them to understand exactly what a money
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Speaker 4: diary is, how to interview well, to make sure that
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Speaker 4: they are really comfortable when it comes to being recorded,
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Speaker 4: because like that's not everybody's forte.
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Speaker 6: But then also just.
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Speaker 4: Making sure that they're comfortable with the questions and comfortable
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Speaker 4: with the city situation and that honestly their MIC's work properly.
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Speaker 4: And yeah, I'm in thes because I used to get
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Speaker 4: to do that and now I don't.
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Speaker 2: But vd you know, low grade, actually high grade gives
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Speaker 2: me tremendous anxiety. Is anyone asking me my favorite list
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Speaker 2: of anything, whether it be restaurants, food, like music, can
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Speaker 2: you feel like I don't get judged. I can't pick,
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Speaker 2: but I love an end of your list from other people.
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Speaker 2: So this is also why I forced you to do this,
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Speaker 2: because I want your picks and I cannot wait to
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Speaker 2: see the ones because I have my own perspective on
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Speaker 2: the ones that I went into with one idea about
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Speaker 2: what the story would be like, but I came out
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Speaker 2: with a completely other education about what the lives of
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Speaker 2: these people are like. And I think that's why we
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Speaker 2: love these episodes so much.
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Speaker 6: Yeah, no, I'm obsessed with them.
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Speaker 4: And honestly, when I say each and every single week,
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Speaker 4: oh my god, Money Diaries is my favorite time of
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Speaker 4: the week, Like it literally is. Money Diaries can be
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Speaker 4: so emotional as well, like even just recording them. Sometimes
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Speaker 4: we get off a diary and I just like cry,
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Speaker 4: or I'm just so happy that I have to go
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Speaker 4: for a walk because I can't concentrate on the next
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Speaker 4: thing I'm going to do.
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Speaker 6: Or we spend like twenty minutes.
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Speaker 4: Working out a way that this thing could be solved
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Speaker 4: for one of our Money diarists, and I just I
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Speaker 4: feel like you deserve to know how much more time,
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Speaker 4: energy and effort goes into them than any other segment.
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Speaker 4: Of our podcast because and Alisa, you spend a lot of
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Speaker 4: your week as well doing research for deep dives, and
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Speaker 4: I feel like that's just not nearly as nourishing as
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Speaker 4: working out what is going to work on Money Diaries
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Speaker 4: and how to get the right talent together. That really
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Speaker 4: creates a space of openness, but also that our community
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Speaker 4: can learn from, because the intention of Money Diaries is
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Speaker 4: not just to chat to people on a podcast, like
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Speaker 4: everybody does that, but to actually have an impact with
4:39
Speaker 4: a podcast, I think is a much harder thing to do,
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Speaker 4: and you do very well.
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Speaker 2: It's so true, Victoria, But like I feel like I
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Speaker 2: get this education you talked about tears before too, because
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Speaker 2: I feel like every time I speak to someone on
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Speaker 2: the phone, I end up just like Tiery, and I
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Speaker 2: feel like they're my best friend, and I'm always so
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Speaker 2: excited for you to meet them, and also hearing how
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Speaker 2: each one like no joke go. My life was one
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Speaker 2: way before I found this podcast and then I learned.
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Speaker 6: It breaks me and this.
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Speaker 2: Bit like has changed has shook me. So now we're
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Speaker 2: going to tell you about how you shook us. Well,
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Speaker 2: actually I don't even know who you've chosen, Victoria, So.
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Speaker 6: So do you want to get into it, Ana Lisa.
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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, all right, here is the first one.
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Speaker 7: So I grew up in a single parent family and
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Speaker 7: money was kind of always tight for us. Like we're
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Speaker 7: talking black and gold food and homemade clothes and stuff,
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Speaker 7: like I never went hungry. There was always a roof
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Speaker 7: over my head and food in the pantry. We just
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Speaker 7: didn't have anything more than the basics. And once I
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Speaker 7: kind of left home, it led me to to not
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Speaker 7: want to replicate that for myself. But because of like
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Speaker 7: a few life circumstances with growing up, I just I
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Speaker 7: made a bunch of really silly decisions, and yeah, I
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Speaker 7: ended up getting involved with someone who really was the
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Speaker 7: worst person I could have ever gotten involved with. But yeah,
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Speaker 7: as I said in my letter, I was in a
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Speaker 7: very very deep hole financially. But I decided that I
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Speaker 7: didn't want to go bankrupt and I didn't want to
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Speaker 7: kind of escape from it, So I fought my way
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Speaker 7: back to the top. Painted all off, and I'm so
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Speaker 7: happy that my life is so much different now.
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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I'm so proud of you and we've
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Speaker 4: only just met.
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Speaker 6: Can you tell me a.
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Speaker 4: Little bit about what your attitude towards money is now,
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Speaker 4: Like obviously, growing up it was quite tight, and there's
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Speaker 4: absolutely nothing wrong with black and gold. I still buy
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Speaker 4: that every day, but it does become kind of a
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Speaker 4: stigma in your life, right, Like you kind of look
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Speaker 4: at it and go, oh, that means that I can't
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Speaker 4: afford you know, the CSR sugar. And I know that
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Speaker 4: that is, you know, something that I've spoken to friends
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Speaker 4: about who have been through situations like that.
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Speaker 6: But what do you see money as?
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Speaker 5: Now?
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Speaker 7: I see money as it's not the scarce resource that
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Speaker 7: I used to think it was. I think I've got
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Speaker 7: my head screwed on straight finally. And to me, it's
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Speaker 7: a means to enjoy myself, Like it's the real that
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Speaker 7: I get for putting in so much hard work. Like
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Speaker 7: I have a day job and you know, a couple
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Speaker 7: of side hustles, so I put in a lot of
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Speaker 7: hours and so the money's the reward from that. So
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Speaker 7: I like to enjoy it. Like when I go out,
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Speaker 7: I like to kind of splurge every now and then.
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Speaker 7: And I don't think that's a bad thing because I'm
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Speaker 7: not robbing from Peter to pay Paul. I budget for
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Speaker 7: my splurges.
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Speaker 4: Now, so Analisa, I'm assuming you remember this one now.
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Speaker 2: My gosh, I'm seriously I'm sitting here with goosebumps. Of
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Speaker 2: course I remember this one.
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Speaker 6: So I now follow her on Instagram. I love her.
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Speaker 4: I'm obviously not going to share her on Instagram. I
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Speaker 4: don't even know if I should tell you that I'm
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Speaker 4: following her on Instagram. But I follow thousands of people
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Speaker 4: because I have no self control and like cut dress company,
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Speaker 4: follow cute person followed, Like that's why if you go
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Speaker 4: on my profile, you'll be like, she follows thousands. You
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Speaker 4: know those people and alsa that have like minimal follows,
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Speaker 4: they're like really selective.
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Speaker 1: Not me.
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Speaker 4: But I'm really grateful to have followed her because I
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Speaker 4: feel like I have an ongoing connection with her, even
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Speaker 4: though we don't speak all that often. The Phoenix rising
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Speaker 4: from the Ashes is what this episode was called, and
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Speaker 4: she survived and emotionally and physically abusive relationship. She's the
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Speaker 4: one that ended up in one hundred and twenty thousand
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Speaker 4: dollars worth of debt on credit cards that she didn't
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Speaker 4: know was existing, and she paid it off like she
8:14
Speaker 4: didn't negotiate her way out of it. She just paid
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Speaker 4: it off because she was like, that is the easiest
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Speaker 4: thing for my heart. And I just remember listening to
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Speaker 4: that and resonating so much with it because I was
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Speaker 4: just like, are you joking? Like that's so much money
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Speaker 4: and I would be fighting tooth and nail to get
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Speaker 4: out of it. But she knew how to somehow during
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Speaker 4: that circumstance put her emotional and mental well being.
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Speaker 2: Before that, andr X was controlling to the level of
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Speaker 2: not allowing her bus passes or something. I think I'm
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Speaker 2: remembering from this story too, and there's no good level
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Speaker 2: of financial control. But like the phoenix rising from the
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Speaker 2: ashes is the perfect metaphor for what this incredible woman.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, she changed everything about her life and is now
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Speaker 4: living her best life. I mean, it did take her
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Speaker 4: seven years to get out of debt, so this was
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Speaker 4: not an overnight turnaround in you know, a financial circumstance
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Speaker 4: and Anelisa had ended up costing her two hundred and
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Speaker 4: fifty thousand dollars to get out of all of the
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Speaker 4: debt that she was in. But she's now debt free,
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Speaker 4: She's now leaving her best life. She has a brand
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Speaker 4: new partner, her dream job, she is a homeowner now
9:18
Speaker 4: and she honestly has a very successful side hustle, which
9:22
Speaker 4: I'm also watching with just so much awe and I
9:25
Speaker 4: am so proud of her.
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Speaker 2: Like augh, I also remember that she liked to spend
9:29
Speaker 2: cash so that she could watch, like feel the very
9:32
Speaker 2: real feeling of the money.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, she envelopes like money envelopes and I'm just like
9:37
Speaker 4: you do you boo? That is absolutely working. But to me,
9:40
Speaker 4: this was one of the ones that jumped out immediately.
9:44
Speaker 4: It was a tale of incredible strength and survival and
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Speaker 4: honestly so into the spreadsheets that she has, and she's
9:52
Speaker 4: a boss. I think we can all learn a lot
9:54
Speaker 4: from her. And this is just Quintessentially, she's on the money.
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Speaker 6: It is this.
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Speaker 4: Story of a powerful woman overcoming absolutely everything and getting
10:03
Speaker 4: back on her financial stability train.
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Speaker 6: And I just that's a good place to.
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Speaker 2: Start for me, mate, I'm with you all the way.
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Speaker 6: I love it. Do you want to hear the next one?
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Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah?
10:17
Speaker 8: So growing up I had two like really hard working parents.
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Speaker 8: They both did shift work. We had a nice home,
10:24
Speaker 8: and me and my siblings we all got to do
10:26
Speaker 8: like dancing and like gymnastics, whatever we wanted to do
10:30
Speaker 8: asides from that we didn't really have much else, but
10:33
Speaker 8: like that we had more than enough.
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Speaker 2: Really.
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Speaker 8: My parents would often like talk about money in front
10:40
Speaker 8: of us, But I just remember always hearing we're so broke,
10:43
Speaker 8: we're so broke, We're so broke. And in hindsight, I
10:46
Speaker 8: don't think my parents were ever so broke. They just yeah,
10:49
Speaker 8: I'm not sure where they put their money. They were
10:50
Speaker 8: pretty good with it though, to be honest, Like looking
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Speaker 8: at them now, they've you know, they've got a house
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Speaker 8: paid off, and they've got a good chunk of souper
10:57
Speaker 8: and stuff like that. So that's what money was like
10:59
Speaker 8: growing up for me.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, So talk to me about how when you were
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Speaker 4: fifteen you found yourself in government housing? Like how did
11:05
Speaker 4: you go from this beautiful lifestyle that you just explained
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Speaker 4: to going, all, right, now I'm in government housing because
11:11
Speaker 4: of a turbulent home life.
11:12
Speaker 6: Like what happened my friend?
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Speaker 8: Yeah, So they were like they're good, they're great, hard workers,
11:17
Speaker 8: and I have a great relationship with them now. But
11:19
Speaker 8: as a teenager, my mum had lots of physical and
11:24
Speaker 8: mental health issues and it was very, very turbulent, and
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Speaker 8: I got kicked out of home. My older sister left
11:32
Speaker 8: my other sister ended up getting kicked out as well,
11:35
Speaker 8: and it was all sorts of fun. So it was
11:37
Speaker 8: It's weird because we kind of came from like a
11:39
Speaker 8: decent home, but it was real. We had a really rough,
11:42
Speaker 8: like teenage year. So yeah, so into government housing.
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Speaker 4: That's a really interesting juxtaposition. How did you deal with that?
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Speaker 4: Because I feel like, going from a lifestyle that you
11:53
Speaker 4: just explained to going to government housing and having to
11:57
Speaker 4: have your own income and then obviously deciding at a
12:00
Speaker 4: team to drop out, that's a very big shift.
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Speaker 6: How did you deal with that?
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Speaker 8: Were you okay, Well, I've always been like really independent.
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Speaker 8: Looking back, I probably did go through like moments of
12:12
Speaker 8: like depression and stuff like that, but at the time
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Speaker 8: I didn't really understand my own feelings and I didn't
12:18
Speaker 8: recognize like what depression was. But like, looking back, I
12:21
Speaker 8: probably definitely experienced it as a teenager.
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Speaker 6: But I was always really independent.
12:26
Speaker 8: I had a part time job, so I just picked
12:28
Speaker 8: up extra shifts there. I was happy to work and
12:30
Speaker 8: that sort of thing. So I had a lot of
12:32
Speaker 8: good like friends as well at the time, so that
12:34
Speaker 8: was really good.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, I love that all right, Next question, my friend,
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Speaker 4: I think we already got here. But what do you
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Speaker 4: do for work? And the juicy part, how much money
12:42
Speaker 4: do you earn?
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Speaker 8: So I do OnlyFans and I do in person like
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Speaker 8: sex works. I'm an escort. It varies a lot. So
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Speaker 8: I averaged between five and ten K a week, but
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Speaker 8: that's because I have like I have two kids. I
12:59
Speaker 8: don't really work too hard. If I wanted to work harder,
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Speaker 8: I could definitely.
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Speaker 6: What do you mean you don't work too hard?
13:04
Speaker 4: You're like, oh, five and ten k a week, but
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Speaker 4: I don't work hard. I'm like, what I know that's
13:10
Speaker 4: beyond most people's wildest dreams.
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Speaker 8: Yeah, I'm pretty lazy. I only really work like I
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Speaker 8: do one booking a day roughly, but that's all I
13:18
Speaker 8: really need to do. And like I've got such a
13:20
Speaker 8: busy home life. It's a perfect like balance. There has
13:23
Speaker 8: been times where I've worked a lot harder and you know,
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Speaker 8: made double or triple that in a week, but generally speaking,
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Speaker 8: between five and ten k.
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Speaker 4: All right, and a Lisa, I'm a bit biased here.
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Speaker 4: This is also a friend of mine that I dragged
13:38
Speaker 4: on the show because I was like, we need your story,
13:41
Speaker 4: we need it.
13:42
Speaker 6: Like I just need it. On the show. It's very
13:45
Speaker 6: different to the last story I shared with you.
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Speaker 2: Fascinating this one and again another one that I went
13:51
Speaker 2: into Well not I have friends who are sex workers too,
13:56
Speaker 2: haven't sort of asked too much about their finances. But
13:59
Speaker 2: there were so many us of this story that were
14:00
Speaker 2: fascinating to me. And I loved meeting her on the
14:03
Speaker 2: phone too.
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Speaker 4: She's one just a bubbly, bright human that you just
14:08
Speaker 4: enjoy interacting with. But I just also love that we're
14:12
Speaker 4: talking about this journey of she grew up in public housing,
14:15
Speaker 4: she was disadvantaged, and now she's making ten grand a
14:19
Speaker 4: week as a sex worker. And we're not talking about
14:22
Speaker 4: sex work as a bad thing, like we're talking about
14:25
Speaker 4: sex She wanted to do this, she knew, she wanted
14:27
Speaker 4: to grow up to do this, she knows she's good
14:29
Speaker 4: at it. Get it, queen, And I just I think
14:32
Speaker 4: we should be lifting the veil a bit more on
14:34
Speaker 4: our friends that are sex workers, because it's twenty twenty two,
14:39
Speaker 4: Like this is the oldest career in the entire world,
14:42
Speaker 4: Like literally it has been around longer than financial advice here,
14:45
Speaker 4: So maybe I could learn something about tenure because like
14:48
Speaker 4: I'm clearly not that good at it.
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Speaker 2: What struck me so much too about her story was
14:52
Speaker 2: the level of responsibility and work ethic. And I know
14:55
Speaker 2: she was saying as well that she works harder some
14:58
Speaker 2: weeks like she could. Yeah, she worked hard, So it
15:01
Speaker 2: sounds like she's working hard, but the level of pressure
15:04
Speaker 2: and financial responsibility that is required of her because her
15:08
Speaker 2: industry is so stigmatized and is not regarded by lots
15:12
Speaker 2: of the population as being legitimate and okay, it's just like,
15:16
Speaker 2: actually you are completely ruling it, and stuff is really hard.
15:19
Speaker 2: It's almost like danger money. You know, she gets paid
15:22
Speaker 2: so much because it's really hard for her to manage
15:25
Speaker 2: that money.
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Speaker 4: I can't imagine having to go to work and do
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Speaker 4: something so physically demanding, so not just sex, Like I
15:34
Speaker 4: couldn't do a trade, I couldn't do something like even waitressing.
15:37
Speaker 4: I used to be a waitress. I just don't have
15:39
Speaker 4: it in me anymore to be so physically present and
15:42
Speaker 4: have a job that is so physically demanding. So props
15:45
Speaker 4: to literally anyone who does that, because I just I can't,
15:48
Speaker 4: Like I wake up on the wrong side of the
15:50
Speaker 4: bed and I'm like, oh, I'm going to change my
15:52
Speaker 4: day around so that it suits my life.
15:54
Speaker 6: I just can't do it.
15:55
Speaker 7: I did.
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Speaker 2: Your life seems incredibly busy and very very full on.
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Speaker 6: Let me I walk into recordings.
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Speaker 4: I'm like, yep, so we're not doing that one today
16:03
Speaker 4: because I'm Alie on the floor and you're.
16:05
Speaker 2: Like, I don't care, okay, right day of the bus.
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Speaker 4: But I just I think it's so important to talk
16:10
Speaker 4: about sex work because sex work is also something that
16:13
Speaker 4: you know, obviously our diarist was a full service sex worker,
16:17
Speaker 4: and that's cool, but there's just so many different ways,
16:20
Speaker 4: shapes and forms that people engage with in the sex
16:23
Speaker 4: work industry, from you know, selling their nudes all the
16:26
Speaker 4: way through to full service sex workers. Like I remember
16:30
Speaker 4: talking to a woman and if you're listening to this,
16:32
Speaker 4: I cannot, for the life of me remember your Instagram name.
16:35
Speaker 4: But we had this really exciting voice memo conversation she
16:38
Speaker 4: was talking about having I think it was this episode,
16:40
Speaker 4: having loved the episode about a sex worker because she
16:43
Speaker 4: didn't feel like her industry was as stigmatized as it
16:45
Speaker 4: used to be. And she told me how she does
16:47
Speaker 4: phone sex work and like she works, you know, late
16:50
Speaker 4: into the evenings, being a sex worker, just like doing
16:53
Speaker 4: telephone stuff, and I'm like, yeah, great, like get it, queen.
16:56
Speaker 4: And she's like, but do you know what people who
16:58
Speaker 4: call me don't realize I'm a quadriplegic and I can't
17:03
Speaker 4: do any of the stuff I'm telling them I would
17:05
Speaker 4: do to them, but that's not necessary to do the job.
17:08
Speaker 4: And she's apparently one of the best that you know,
17:10
Speaker 4: these people engage with, and she makes so much money
17:14
Speaker 4: and I am just so impressed. Wow, I'm like, get it, queen,
17:18
Speaker 4: like you do you? But I think the thing with
17:21
Speaker 4: sex work is people just think it's, you know, a
17:23
Speaker 4: bit icky. But I have this friend in the community
17:26
Speaker 4: who please slide into my DMS. You'd make it an
17:28
Speaker 4: insane money diary. But she has managed to make more
17:32
Speaker 4: than a full time income with the injuries she has
17:35
Speaker 4: in an industry that she had not considered before, you know,
17:38
Speaker 4: having her accident, and now can financially do the things
17:43
Speaker 4: that she wants to do that she would have otherwise
17:45
Speaker 4: not been able to do and had to be on
17:46
Speaker 4: disability because what else do you do? And I just
17:48
Speaker 4: I think that there's I'm not saying everyone needs to
17:51
Speaker 4: do sex work.
17:51
Speaker 6: It's not for me either.
17:53
Speaker 4: I totally get it, but like, I just think that
17:55
Speaker 4: people who work in that industry do not deserve your
17:57
Speaker 4: judgment because they are stronger people than I ever could be.
18:00
Speaker 2: And absolutely outrageous the prejudice that exists with the banking
18:04
Speaker 2: system and even how she was talking about going overseas
18:07
Speaker 2: and all that.
18:08
Speaker 4: Stuff and that she literally can't travel to some countries
18:11
Speaker 4: because ten years get in insane, insane, And I mean
18:15
Speaker 4: this story as well was a good one about really
18:18
Speaker 4: understanding that just because you make bank and you're making
18:20
Speaker 4: ten K week does not mean that you know how
18:22
Speaker 4: to manage money because this money darist has got a
18:25
Speaker 4: little bit to learn. And we've been working on it,
18:27
Speaker 4: I promise since that episode. But I just think it's
18:30
Speaker 4: such an incredible story. It's such a different one, and
18:33
Speaker 4: I mean it's not stereotypically she's on the money, but
18:36
Speaker 4: it just seemed a miss to not include it in
18:38
Speaker 4: this list.
18:39
Speaker 2: Well, I cannot wait, Victoria Devine to hear what is
18:43
Speaker 2: coming up next? But I am the producer here, so
18:46
Speaker 2: shall I just just take us to Shall I take.
18:48
Speaker 6: Us to a break and then we'll come straight back.
18:50
Speaker 2: That's it, will see there.
18:55
Speaker 6: All right? Anna Lisa to recap.
18:57
Speaker 4: We're doing the diarists that shook us in twenty two,
19:00
Speaker 4: twenty two, and we have two more for you.
19:02
Speaker 2: I made you, Victoria, pick a couple, but not the best,
19:06
Speaker 2: not the favorites, just ones that like, we went in
19:08
Speaker 2: with some sort of an idea about something we thought
19:10
Speaker 2: we'd learned, and we came out with a whole bunch
19:13
Speaker 2: of other stuff.
19:13
Speaker 4: We absolutely did, And I just don't have favorites, but
19:17
Speaker 4: I want to say that this was one of my favorites.
19:19
Speaker 6: Again.
19:20
Speaker 4: It was so powerful, so moving, so inspiring. Here it is.
19:27
Speaker 9: Yeah, absolutely, I've had a bit of a thought about
19:29
Speaker 9: this growing up. I'm one of five kids, and we
19:34
Speaker 9: grew up in a very small rural town in the
19:38
Speaker 9: South Island population less than a thousand people and one
19:43
Speaker 9: and come family. So Dad worked and he worked very hard.
19:47
Speaker 9: Money was extremely stressful growing up. It was never talked
19:53
Speaker 9: about and there were always many arguments about it, to
19:59
Speaker 9: the point where I think all of us kids there
20:04
Speaker 9: was just so much stress around it. And I knew
20:06
Speaker 9: that in order to live a life how I wanted,
20:12
Speaker 9: I needed to get a good career. So back then
20:17
Speaker 9: I would say very stressful, pessimistic about money. But now
20:23
Speaker 9: that's obviously change over the last sort of good five years.
20:28
Speaker 9: Are more positive about money and optimistic. I would say, Yeah,
20:34
Speaker 9: i am a paramedic and I'm part time and I'm
20:39
Speaker 9: on one hundred and six K. It's challenging and every
20:44
Speaker 9: day is different. I'm coming up to twelve years in
20:48
Speaker 9: the job, and obviously the last couple of years have
20:52
Speaker 9: been stressful for everyone. And this year in particularly, I've
20:58
Speaker 9: really really struggled work, just with workload and with you know,
21:04
Speaker 9: what was going on with lockdown, and then I've had
21:07
Speaker 9: a few family members that died as well, and I've
21:10
Speaker 9: ended up having to take a good eight weeks off work.
21:14
Speaker 9: I was burnt out and I ended up having to
21:17
Speaker 9: see a psychologist, which I still see. She's fantastic, and
21:22
Speaker 9: she said, you know you need time off. You either
21:25
Speaker 9: go down work cover or we used yestically, she goes,
21:30
Speaker 9: because I don't want you to get to a point
21:33
Speaker 9: where it's too late, where you've gone past that exhaustion
21:39
Speaker 9: and you're off work and you can't get back on road.
21:41
Speaker 9: Because she said that she's got paramedics that have had
21:46
Speaker 9: two years off road and they can't get back on
21:48
Speaker 9: road because they just went past the point of exhaustion
21:52
Speaker 9: and burnout, and so at a much better place now
21:56
Speaker 9: I'm back at work and yeah, feeling better.
21:59
Speaker 10: But seeing the psychologists, Oh, I'm glad, Like, I'm glad
22:03
Speaker 10: that you got to pick it up as early as that,
22:06
Speaker 10: because you do hear about people in our frontline roles
22:10
Speaker 10: that just get so burnt out.
22:12
Speaker 4: But I also just don't think, you know, this is
22:14
Speaker 4: maybe another stereotype jest that we need to break, But
22:17
Speaker 4: I just feel like people in those roles care so
22:19
Speaker 4: much about other people that when it comes to caring
22:21
Speaker 4: for themselves, they just don't reach out for the help.
22:23
Speaker 6: When they need it.
22:25
Speaker 4: And it's like, well, guys, like you need more support
22:27
Speaker 4: than anybody, Like you're carrying the weight of the world
22:30
Speaker 4: and so much trauma that other people go through on you. Like,
22:34
Speaker 4: it just makes sense that burnout would be a very
22:37
Speaker 4: real reality. However, we just need to identify it earlier
22:41
Speaker 4: and give ourselves the self care and the space to
22:44
Speaker 4: get through that. So I'm glad that you're back on
22:47
Speaker 4: the road. That's so exciting. We're so lucky.
22:50
Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah, and you're absolutely right, like and normalize it
22:54
Speaker 9: by talking about it. I talk very openly to any
22:58
Speaker 9: of my colleagues that working with because all of us
23:02
Speaker 9: need help at some stage.
23:04
Speaker 2: All of us do.
23:05
Speaker 9: And yeah, like I talked to my family about it.
23:09
Speaker 9: Whereas you know, growing up, mental health was another thing
23:11
Speaker 9: that was never talked about. It was everything was sweept
23:14
Speaker 9: under the rugue.
23:15
Speaker 4: It's just not helpful, Analisa, Oh my goodness, these ones
23:22
Speaker 4: that you're like, you are just a better human than
23:24
Speaker 4: I will be.
23:25
Speaker 6: Like me, She's a better human the both of us combined, like,
23:28
Speaker 6: it's just not going to happen.
23:29
Speaker 4: We put the whole She's on the Money team together
23:31
Speaker 4: and we're like cool.
23:32
Speaker 6: Still not good for those of you who caught on
23:36
Speaker 6: this was the episode.
23:37
Speaker 4: She's an egg donor and an inspiration and ah, I
23:41
Speaker 4: can't like literally a better human than I'll ever be.
23:44
Speaker 4: She gives so much to everyone around her. She was
23:48
Speaker 4: a maudie mother of two and an emergency services worker
23:51
Speaker 4: of course she was, and an egg donor, which was
23:54
Speaker 4: so so special. And she told us an Lisa that
23:57
Speaker 4: she was the first in her family to get a
23:59
Speaker 4: degree at all, and she'd been working on the money
24:01
Speaker 4: story that she grew up with and she's been changing
24:03
Speaker 4: the narrative, which obviously I'm obsessed with, But the story
24:06
Speaker 4: about her being an egg donor, I just I can't, like,
24:10
Speaker 4: it's so perfect, Like she was so caring and kind,
24:15
Speaker 4: but it also just seemed really serendipitous that it happened
24:18
Speaker 4: the way it did for her and her donor parents.
24:22
Speaker 4: Is that the right terminology? I think so, the parents
24:24
Speaker 4: that were getting the donor egg, And I just I
24:27
Speaker 4: think it's so perfect because the family that she was
24:31
Speaker 4: you know, donating to, which she's doing again by the way,
24:34
Speaker 4: and makes me so happy. So these two siblings are
24:37
Speaker 4: going to be in some way related, but more importantly
24:40
Speaker 4: to that family, they're also Moldy, so for them to
24:44
Speaker 4: be able to have some level of their heritage involved
24:46
Speaker 4: in their relationship, Like, oh, I.
24:49
Speaker 2: Just and she started that journey because her brother is
24:52
Speaker 2: in the same sex relationship and she was like.
24:54
Speaker 6: I hope someone dies for him one day.
24:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, he should have those opportunities as well if he
24:59
Speaker 2: wants to be a father. And she heard a call
25:01
Speaker 2: out on the news or a new story or something,
25:03
Speaker 2: and now.
25:03
Speaker 4: I can't remember how she found it, but she heard
25:06
Speaker 4: a call out for a moldy couple or one of
25:09
Speaker 4: the people in the couple was Maldy and they would
25:12
Speaker 4: love to find somebody that could help them, you know,
25:14
Speaker 4: embrace their culture because like that to me is something
25:17
Speaker 4: I hadn't thought about, Anna, Lisa, Like, I just think
25:19
Speaker 4: that this space is so special and we live in
25:22
Speaker 4: a world where, you know, I had clients when I
25:25
Speaker 4: was a financial advisor that had surrogate children and like
25:29
Speaker 4: had you know, gone overseas to make sure that they
25:31
Speaker 4: were biologically theirs because they were in same sex relationships
25:34
Speaker 4: and they just couldn't, you know, have their own kids.
25:36
Speaker 4: It just physically wasn't possible. And it's just it's such
25:39
Speaker 4: a special process to be a part of. But just
25:42
Speaker 4: thinking about those donors, like and the process involved too,
25:45
Speaker 4: because she told us a bit more about that, which
25:47
Speaker 4: is honestly not something I've ever thought about until this point,
25:50
Speaker 4: but just the time commitment and the cost and they
25:53
Speaker 4: paid for everything. But it was really interesting learning the
25:55
Speaker 4: ins and outs of that stuff too, you know, and
25:58
Speaker 4: the idea that you do this and it sounds so giving,
26:00
Speaker 4: but you know, we've all heard of IVF and IVF
26:04
Speaker 4: freaks havoc on your body because you have to take
26:06
Speaker 4: hormones and you have to go through this entire process,
26:08
Speaker 4: and it's actually wild. You have to do that to
26:11
Speaker 4: be an egg donor. So she did that. It's not
26:13
Speaker 4: even for her, Like I can completely understand why.
26:17
Speaker 6: People like it doesn't matter.
26:18
Speaker 4: I'm going through this, Like I feel like crap, my
26:20
Speaker 4: hormones are up up the creek, I'm bloated, I'm this,
26:23
Speaker 4: I'm that, Like this is awful, but like it's so
26:25
Speaker 4: I can achieve my dream of having a baby. And like,
26:27
Speaker 4: people go through this because they want to have babies,
26:29
Speaker 4: and I totally get it. But she did it for
26:32
Speaker 4: somebody else to have babies. So it wasn't just like,
26:35
Speaker 4: oh I don't ended my time or my energy or
26:37
Speaker 4: my effort. She donated twenty four seven during this process
26:40
Speaker 4: to these people, and oh, I just obsessed, obsessed, And
26:45
Speaker 4: I feel like this diarist has a huge heart. She's
26:49
Speaker 4: endlessly giving again and again and she's doing it again.
26:52
Speaker 4: And obviously we love our frontline workers. I cannot believe
26:56
Speaker 4: that she's also doing that though, like Anily, so it
26:58
Speaker 4: makes sense. Of course, she's a frontline worker.
27:00
Speaker 2: Like I say, better people than me.
27:03
Speaker 6: I think it was.
27:04
Speaker 4: Just fascinating, Like I think the whole story of understanding.
27:07
Speaker 6: How, when, where, why? Like what does this look like?
27:10
Speaker 6: What does that end up? Like?
27:11
Speaker 4: Like just a special human doing special things and she's
27:15
Speaker 4: in our community?
27:15
Speaker 2: How wellcky we top.
27:17
Speaker 6: Not ten out of ten? Would would record again?
27:21
Speaker 4: Would you like me to introduce you to our last
27:24
Speaker 4: but not least absolutely Victoria.
27:27
Speaker 2: I cannot wait to visit whatever you've got up next.
27:30
Speaker 6: Here you go.
27:35
Speaker 5: So I feel like I have a bit of a
27:37
Speaker 5: anxious attachment to money, said like a true psych but
27:42
Speaker 5: this manifests an almost a scarcity mindset when it comes
27:46
Speaker 5: to money, and that's probably heavily related to my childhood.
27:51
Speaker 5: So for context, I am a twenty two year old
27:54
Speaker 5: first gen immigrant from Sri Lanka and growing up my
27:58
Speaker 5: family would be classed is low income. So we grew
28:02
Speaker 5: up receiving family benefits from you know, Centralink and youth Allowance,
28:08
Speaker 5: which I just want to say, like, we're so privileged
28:10
Speaker 5: to live in a country that has like such good
28:13
Speaker 5: social security, so very grateful for that. And my parents
28:19
Speaker 5: are really you know, smart, skilled, hard working people. But
28:24
Speaker 5: because of certain circumstances, my dad had to live in
28:28
Speaker 5: Sri Lanka. Well, my mom essentially raised us on her
28:31
Speaker 5: own in Australia, in a new country. Props to her
28:36
Speaker 5: so amazing so in terms of family income, so even
28:41
Speaker 5: when Sri Lanka wasn't going through a financial crisis, converting
28:46
Speaker 5: a Sri Lankan salary to Australian dollars is obviously not
28:51
Speaker 5: that stellar. And because my dad was a I guess
28:55
Speaker 5: primary income earner. And additionally, my mom had to retire
29:00
Speaker 5: early or stopped working early because she had a workplace injury,
29:05
Speaker 5: so she was predominantly a stay at home mum. So
29:09
Speaker 5: safe to say that money was very tight growing up,
29:12
Speaker 5: and there was a lot of rhetoric about not being
29:15
Speaker 5: able to afford things. And I was very very conscious
29:18
Speaker 5: of the concept of money from a very young age.
29:22
Speaker 5: But I guess I'm saying that, like, I'm really grateful
29:25
Speaker 5: for where I came from, and I feel so blessed
29:27
Speaker 5: that everything that my parents did for my sister and I,
29:30
Speaker 5: and I genuinely didn't feel like I missed out on
29:33
Speaker 5: anything as a child. It was more the sacrifice was
29:37
Speaker 5: on my parents' end, you know, they kind of sacrificed
29:40
Speaker 5: living with their partner. They didn't really indulge in any
29:43
Speaker 5: discretionary spending, you know, buying clothes or going out to eat.
29:47
Speaker 5: But most notably, they didn't invest into their financial future
29:51
Speaker 5: in the conventional Australian way of you know, super and investments.
29:56
Speaker 5: So instead they kind of funneled all their into us
30:01
Speaker 5: and our education and in a weird way where kind
30:05
Speaker 5: of their investments and sometimes I feel like there's a
30:08
Speaker 5: huge pressure to almost be a good return on that
30:13
Speaker 5: investment and be able to take care of them financially
30:17
Speaker 5: and help them retire and actually enjoy their life. So yeah,
30:21
Speaker 5: that's kind of my money story in a nutshell, all right, Anna.
30:26
Speaker 6: Lisa, Oh my goodness, this was.
30:29
Speaker 4: A recent one, and to be honest, I just couldn't
30:33
Speaker 4: get it out of my brain when we were pulling
30:34
Speaker 4: this together. I just feel like that episode was so
30:40
Speaker 4: special and so different. But for our community, I feel
30:44
Speaker 4: like really important to share because so many of our
30:47
Speaker 4: community are first generational immigrants from international or their parents
30:52
Speaker 4: were immigrants, and then now they're growing up with a
30:55
Speaker 4: lifestyle that their parents never had and there's just a
30:58
Speaker 4: lot of guilt and a lot of money trauma and
31:01
Speaker 4: a lot of money story that you need to work
31:03
Speaker 4: through here. And there's diarist twenty two years old, first
31:07
Speaker 4: generation immigrant from Sri Lanka and along with her studying
31:10
Speaker 4: a master's in psychology. Because she's obviously a smart, quirky
31:13
Speaker 4: woman after your own heart, Victoria Devine Analisa. She's managing
31:16
Speaker 4: a full time job and working three casual jobs to
31:18
Speaker 4: make sure that her parents and her are okay, and
31:21
Speaker 4: she still feels like she's not doing enough well.
31:23
Speaker 2: I think that title of this one, carrying the pressure
31:25
Speaker 2: and bridging two worlds, it's like, I really remember from
31:29
Speaker 2: this young lady, that this young lady that she she
31:33
Speaker 2: was way more sure than me.
31:34
Speaker 10: Let's put it.
31:35
Speaker 2: Let's put it that way, you.
31:36
Speaker 6: And me combined.
31:37
Speaker 2: It's like such love and duty to her family and
31:40
Speaker 2: obviously concern for her family still living in Sri Lanka,
31:44
Speaker 2: but still also like wanting to be a twenty two
31:47
Speaker 2: year old and feeling guilty about just wanting to live
31:51
Speaker 2: where she's at. You know, it's so tough.
31:53
Speaker 4: It's a lot, and I mean I appreciated it. We've
31:57
Speaker 4: had a few immigrant community members on our podcast before,
32:01
Speaker 4: and I think there've been really special stories. This one
32:05
Speaker 4: really stood out to me though, because she genuinely was
32:09
Speaker 4: so hard working but didn't feel like she was doing enough,
32:12
Speaker 4: didn't feel like it was good enough, and I was
32:13
Speaker 4: just like, holy moly, like you are above and beyond.
32:17
Speaker 4: But then also with that overlay that her home country
32:21
Speaker 4: of Sri Lanka is currently enduring the worst economic crisis
32:24
Speaker 4: it has ever seen, and her father still lives there
32:27
Speaker 4: because he can't come to Australia yet, her mum is here,
32:30
Speaker 4: and she just wants to look after them. She sends
32:33
Speaker 4: money home to look after them. But we talked about
32:36
Speaker 4: it on the podcast because of how a baud the
32:38
Speaker 4: economic crisis is. You can't just send money to people.
32:40
Speaker 4: There's like this whole back way of getting it there
32:42
Speaker 4: to make sure that they're okay, and.
32:44
Speaker 6: It's just it was such a backwards process.
32:46
Speaker 4: And you know, I think we should be sharing stories
32:48
Speaker 4: like this and more stories like this next year because
32:52
Speaker 4: it's so impactful, so moving, but also so real, Like
32:55
Speaker 4: this stuff is happening in our world and we are
32:58
Speaker 4: so so privileged to in Australia and I have an
33:01
Speaker 4: overlaying level of privilege that I grew up here and
33:04
Speaker 4: I'm white and I'm female in twenty twenty two, like,
33:07
Speaker 4: I just I feel like having this platform is a
33:11
Speaker 4: I have a responsibility to share stories like this with
33:14
Speaker 4: you so that we can help them. We can make
33:16
Speaker 4: a difference.
33:17
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. Like we know that there are listeners
33:19
Speaker 2: to She's on the Money from all over the world
33:21
Speaker 2: and in Australia, people with all sorts of different backgrounds,
33:24
Speaker 2: and that's what makes the community so special. And I
33:28
Speaker 2: just gosh, you learn so much more when you hear
33:32
Speaker 2: someone's first hand experiences about what's going on day to day.
33:35
Speaker 2: And we really do, of course feel for the residents
33:38
Speaker 2: of Sri Lanka and in so many other countries all
33:42
Speaker 2: over the world that are not in anywhere near as
33:46
Speaker 2: safe as secure positions as we are in this country.
33:48
Speaker 2: And absolute reminder to check our own privilege, right.
33:52
Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely, And I think this makes me frustrated, right
33:56
Speaker 4: And I don't do it because I'm I try to
33:58
Speaker 4: be a reserved, a nice human Lisa. But I think
34:01
Speaker 4: having such a special job, because I do think I
34:04
Speaker 4: have a special job. Yeah, it looks like real fancy
34:06
Speaker 4: sometimes and I get to go to some fancy events
34:08
Speaker 4: and I get to podcast all day, like it's so fun.
34:10
Speaker 4: But my favorite part is really connecting with our community
34:13
Speaker 4: because to me, there's nothing like it anywhere else, Like,
34:16
Speaker 4: I don't think I know any other place where there's
34:18
Speaker 4: such a vibrant and diverse community of people who are
34:21
Speaker 4: so caring, so kind, so willing to help others, but
34:24
Speaker 4: also so willing to share their own story so other
34:26
Speaker 4: people can learn from it. Like to me, it's wild,
34:28
Speaker 4: But I just I think that we are in such
34:31
Speaker 4: a privileged position that yeah, it's our responsibility to share
34:34
Speaker 4: this stuff and share it with you and you know,
34:37
Speaker 4: really respect it. But also we are a more wholesome
34:40
Speaker 4: community because of this. I'm a better person because of
34:43
Speaker 4: your stories, and like, please don't stop sending them.
34:45
Speaker 2: We're stronger together, mate.
34:47
Speaker 6: Oh it's so lame, isn't it.
34:48
Speaker 4: Like it's true though, Like how much more connected do
34:51
Speaker 4: we feel when we hear another money diary and we
34:53
Speaker 4: can resonate with a tiny point of it and go wow,
34:56
Speaker 4: or we can you know, empathize with something that we're like,
34:59
Speaker 4: oh my god, I didn't know about this. Because there
35:02
Speaker 4: are so many things in the world that we don't
35:03
Speaker 4: have time to shine lights on. But with She's on
35:06
Speaker 4: the money, I think that there's a lot to still
35:08
Speaker 4: shine a light on into the future and We are
35:10
Speaker 4: just so damn lucky that we get to do this
35:13
Speaker 4: every day, and you know, I'm grateful for it.
35:16
Speaker 2: Victoria to Vine, we were talking about tears before. You're
35:18
Speaker 2: getting me choked up.
35:19
Speaker 6: Stop it, we'll go, We'll go through.
35:21
Speaker 4: Thank you for being along on the journey. She's on
35:24
Speaker 4: the money. Thank you for allowing us to share this.
35:26
Speaker 4: Thank you for being there, being present and wanting to
35:29
Speaker 4: share your stories with us, because without you, we can't
35:31
Speaker 4: do this. And I'm just I'm so grateful that we're
35:34
Speaker 4: all friends. What a way to wrap the last money
35:36
Speaker 4: diary of the year. Victoria, see you, are you glad
35:39
Speaker 4: I made you do this? I'm glad you made me
35:40
Speaker 4: do this. I'm very very happy with it.
35:43
Speaker 2: But we do remind you, though, that we love each
35:45
Speaker 2: and every one of you, and legitimately every story that
35:48
Speaker 2: comes through.
35:49
Speaker 6: Is just so special.
35:51
Speaker 4: And you know what an underlying theme of all of
35:53
Speaker 4: the four that I have picked today is that talking
35:55
Speaker 4: to each and every single one of these people, I
35:58
Speaker 4: think if we'd ask them and oh, do you reckon
36:01
Speaker 4: like your diary would make it to the wrap, that
36:02
Speaker 4: would say, oh no, absolutely not, like absolutely not, Like
36:06
Speaker 4: they all just don't think that their stories are that inventive. Like,
36:10
Speaker 4: we had four different dirests on We had the first one,
36:13
Speaker 4: which was Phoenix Rising from the Ashes. She was so humble,
36:16
Speaker 4: so kind, but just wanted to share because she knew
36:19
Speaker 4: that she'd done a really good job. But I don't
36:22
Speaker 4: think she realizes how impactful it was. We had my
36:25
Speaker 4: friend who is a sex worker, who I just don't
36:27
Speaker 4: think she understands how relatable that content is. As much
36:31
Speaker 4: as not all of us can relate to being a
36:33
Speaker 4: sex worker, we can all relate not being that great
36:35
Speaker 4: at money sometimes, and I just think being open and
36:37
Speaker 4: honest about it is really important. Holy Molly, our egg donor,
36:41
Speaker 4: she didn't think that her job was that important. She's
36:43
Speaker 4: just like, oh, I just want to give back click.
36:45
Speaker 4: My brother's in a same sex relationship and I just
36:47
Speaker 4: kind of hope that someone would do that for him
36:49
Speaker 4: one day, and I'm like, what the hell, Like, you
36:50
Speaker 4: are so special. And then our final money diary that
36:54
Speaker 4: we wrapped was our diarist who was carrying the pressure
36:57
Speaker 4: and bridging two worlds, and I just she would absolutely
37:00
Speaker 4: not think that she would make a wrap.
37:01
Speaker 6: But I think.
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Speaker 4: Everyone's going to agree with me that these all deserve
37:05
Speaker 4: to absolutely be here.
37:06
Speaker 6: But slide into my DMS. Let's chat. Tell me about
37:09
Speaker 6: your favorite money diary and why.
37:11
Speaker 2: And we cannot wait to share so many more stories
37:14
Speaker 2: in twenty twenty three.
37:15
Speaker 6: We have so many of them lined up.
37:17
Speaker 4: I cannot wait to share them more with you.
37:19
Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Victoria for having me on.
37:21
Speaker 6: Of course, we'll see you in twenty twenty three. Guns bye.
37:31
Speaker 4: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
37:34
Speaker 4: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
37:38
Speaker 4: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
37:41
Speaker 4: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
37:45
Speaker 4: If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
37:47
Speaker 4: the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards
37:51
Speaker 4: your needs. Victoria, Divine and She's on the Money are
37:55
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