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How to Survive Your Thanksgiving - Workplace Dilemmas turned Family Dilemmas · Not All Business

• 0:00
  Welcome to Not All Business, a podcast by two former CEO's who
• 0:04
  went from competitors to friends.
• 0:06
  I'm Blakely Graham and my Co host is Heather Cooper, and
• 0:09
  we're joined by our producer, Clay Cornell, to whom we've
• 0:12
  promised a strict no acronym episode for Thanksgiving.
• 0:16
  You're welcome, Clay. Thank you.
• 0:18
  Well, it's Thanksgiving, which means you're probably listening
• 0:20
  to this while prepping food, you're avoiding family drama, or
• 0:24
  you're hiding in the kitchen for 5 minutes of peace.
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  And we see you. So today, we're keeping it
• 0:29
  simple. It's just us.
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  We're going to share a few traditions that help us actually
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  enjoy the holiday instead of just surviving it.
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  No lecture, no long interview, just a quick moment before the
• 0:41
  chaos. Now let's talk Turkey.
• 0:44
  Or not. Whatever you're eating, we hope
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  it's good. Oh my gosh, I love it.
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  It was. So great.
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  I love Let's talk. Turkey.
• 0:59
  Let's talk Turkey. Oh my God.
• 1:01
  And then so politically correct for the vegans and vegetarian.
• 1:05
  Yeah, we're not tofu Turkey Tofurkey, I think they call it.
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  Oh, my mom served tofurkey one year.
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  How was it and well. Well a it was disgusting, but BI
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  have a real issue. Let me say this in a politically
• 1:21
  kind of way. We'll be right back.
• 1:34
  You're right, you're right. No, I do I it's a real issue.
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  My issue is I respect the decision of everyone to eat in a
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  whatever they want to eat, but don't make your vegetarian food
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  look like meat. Like I have a real hard time
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  with tofu in the shape of a Turkey.
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  Eat the Turkey or own the shape of tofu and serve like a square
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  BLOB, you know? That's my issue.
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  So it looks like it's like a white, like tofu.
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  It's in the shape of a. It's like, you know, like they
• 2:09
  put. Beets in a mold and they put,
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  you know, it's strawberry sauce or whatever.
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  It's like it's weird. It's really weird.
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  It's like we're trying to do something different here, like
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  we don't want the Turkey, like we want something.
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  Else. We think the symbolism might
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  hurt. You know, like poor little
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  Turkey. Let's not make tofu mush in the
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  shape of Turkey. And then I think she tried like
• 2:32
  Tempeh Turkey one year like that was better.
• 2:36
  Yeah. Is tempeh even in anymore?
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  Is that a thing? It is.
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  Oh, OK. And it it can be done right and
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  it can be done wrong, just like any animal meat.
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  Well, Turkey is typically done wrong, let's be honest.
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  Like it's rare you got a good Turkey.
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  It's so true and it takes so long and I get so tired of
• 2:54
  everybody's telling how they do their Turkey.
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  And I put mine in a salt bucket and I, you know, burned the
• 3:00
  garage down because we did it. We deep fried our Turkey.
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  And everybody's got this crazy, No?
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  Pressure. I love, I love the videos on
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  Instagram, TikTok of people burning stuff down or they drop
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  the Turkey in the deep fryer and the oil goes everywhere and
• 3:15
  you're going, someone goes, Oh no.
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  Didn't see that coming. How how in the world did that
• 3:21
  happen? It's.
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  Dangerous. I can't tell you have first
• 3:25
  degree burns. Yes, as long as no one gets
• 3:27
  hurt. Right.
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  And so here's the deal. Don't stress out about your
• 3:30
  Turkey. Turkey sucks.
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  It has no flavor. I don't care how much seasoning
• 3:34
  you put on the outside. I don't care.
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  I mean, I stuff like Rosemary and mine and the lemons, all
• 3:40
  that, which is good. It makes it juicy.
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  But it's all about the gravy. Don't fuck up the gravy.
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  That's where all of the flavor comes from.
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  Don't show up with a packet of gravy.
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  Don't do that. Don't don't forget and be like,
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  oh shoot, I forgot about the gravy you.
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  Got to take your renderings and your gizzards and your insides
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  like you use. That shit, I, I put them right
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  in the garbage, immediately in the garbage.
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  All your flavors, it's so gross, like the Turkey neck.
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  You know, but I don't want to touch it or see it or oh, you
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  chop up. Well, you don't.
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  You're not that generation yet. Our aunts and our moms are so.
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  I don't think it makes it better.
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  I think you think it makes it better.
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  I think it makes it gross. Oh it.
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  Makes it better. Oh, the giblets, is that?
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  Are those the balls? Is that Turkey balls?
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  Giblets. What's the giblets?
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  Isn't that isn't what I have a giblet?
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  Oh, you're like let me turn my profile and demonstrate a
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  giblet. Yeah, I'm wondering what a
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  giblet. Is is that a giblet?
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  But they're balls. OK, so they're balls that hang.
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  No, the giblets are are you? Going to research a picture of a
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  giblet, no? Well, first of all, we do have
• 4:48
  censored images on the podcast, so we have that in our toolbox.
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  But we're explicit. Giblets, the liver, heart,
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  gizzard and neck of a chicken or other fowl.
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  Usually removed before the bird is cooked, often making gravy,
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  stuffing or soup. Yeah, yeah.
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  So it's all that stuff. I'm sure you're all right.
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  I'm sure it is. I just I can't even open it up.
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  I do make it dance, though. I do love a good like once
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  you're butter like I like to like lift it up and make it do
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  the the little Turkey dance like one last one last hurrah.
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  Shake his tail feather before I put a.
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  Host like you host Thanksgiving. Sometimes.
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  Sometimes other people do. I'm not.
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  Sounds like the wine gets poured a little early at Thanksgiving.
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  It does. I'm not great at it.
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  I'm good at. Wine is full on 8:00 AM going
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  like 8:00 AM all day kind of situation.
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  Is it burning Then a lot of your dishes, they're not coming out
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  on time, are they? It's the timing part's tricky.
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  Do you have like warming ovens? I don't host.
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  Ever. Well, OK, so your wine's
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  starting early with no pressure on you whatsoever.
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  You're like, it's 8:00 AM It's Thanksgiving.
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  Moral support at most Thanksgiving.
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  You're like preparing for the family interaction, so you're
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  like, let's start drinking at. 8, maybe it's more like 9, but
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  it is early. Early, yeah.
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  What do you do while you're not hosting?
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  Like, what's your Thanksgiving morning like?
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  Yeah, should we go around and share our Thanksgiving
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  traditions? Sure.
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  Love it. Ours have really changed like
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  the first. My kids are older teens right in
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  high school. The first half of their lives.
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  We went to my husband's aunt house and farm in New Mexico and
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  it was spectacular. She had an organic bakery on her
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  farm. She had horses.
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  She grew all of her own food. And we would be there for the
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  week and we would bake in her bakery.
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  And we would come home at the end of Thanksgiving with 100
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  loaves of like, sourdough bread, all different kinds and shapes
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  and like, stacked our whole, you know, trunk.
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  It was full. It was amazing.
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  We probably did that for, I don't know, years and years and
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  years and his. Whole family's from New Mexico.
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  Are you freezing it? You freeze it?
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  Yeah, you there's a special like double look.
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  We bought a freezer for the garage just for this purpose.
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  Wow, you had a sourdough bread freezer?
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  Yes, that's amazing. Do.
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  You ever get sick of it? Or you ever Like no.
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  I don't. Think of another.
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  No, no, because some was like poppy seed or sesame and then
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  come Rosemary like malt Rosemary was the best one.
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  We had multi green loaves and then it would take because it
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  was like a wood fired oven. Like on day one, we would get
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  there and it was like warm enough to baked scones and then
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  we would bake the bread. And then like the third day
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  after Thanksgiving, she would have a pizza party because it
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  had cooled down enough that we could just sling pizzas.
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  And so it was just, it was the OK, this tradition.
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  Sounds really cool. My tradition's more like
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  involving Wonder Bread. It just feels a little different
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  and I don't know if I feel comfortable sharing it anymore.
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  The wider the bread, the closer to dead.
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  Oh my gosh, that's all. That's like a phrase you learn
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  if you spend 30 days at a sourdough bakery.
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  Is that a Schoolhouse Rock or something?
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  A. Month longer, the white doctor
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  tred me, the sooner closer to death.
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  I've never heard that before. Closer to dead.
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  Yeah, well, have a doctor in Boulder, Co, and they're going
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  to tell you the wider the bread, the closer.
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  They didn't, yeah. Except for sourdough, get
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  special privileges. They didn't get pay for their
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  bread with food stamps, I guessed.
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  OK, jeez. Which I did by the way, not
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  always, but. What do you guys do for your
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  holidays? One of my most favorite
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  traditions was my mom would get up, she'd turn on the Detroit
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  Thanksgiving Day Parade, which was different than the Macy's
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  Day Parade. So Detroit.
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  You guys got your own? Parade.
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  Massive parade. Because we, the Detroit Lions,
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  play every year on Thanksgiving. No matter how bad we are, no
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  matter how good we are, we always have that game and we
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  always play the Cowboys. No, no, no, no.
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  No, no. Because growing up it was the
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  Redskins and the Cowboys. Because I lived in DC.
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  And So what do we? Play Does the team we play
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  change out? It does.
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  So this year, we're playing the Packers.
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  OK, yes, All right. Anyway, so but Detroit always
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  plays no matter what. So you grew up in a town where
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  it's like, were you a family that did the go down to the
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  parade, do the game? Or are you the family that stays
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  and cooks because you're one or the other?
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  You're like, you're either going and doing the festivities and
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  then showing up at a relative's house who stayed and cooked.
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  Occasionally it would be a split house where it's like the
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  husband takes the kids to the game and the wife gets home and
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  cooks. That's the worst because she is
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  pissed. That would never happen in my
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  house. Coming back, yeah no, she's had
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  no help. He's been out the game, he's
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  late, he's all pumped up, it's so exciting, blah blah.
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  Or like really down and depressed because it was
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  horrible. Anyway, he's.
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  Got a few drinks at the game. Yeah, you didn't want to divide
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  and conquer. You needed to be like a we're a
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  football parade family or we're a stay at home and cook family.
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  So we were always, we never went to the game, so we were always
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  stay at home and cook family. So we'd my mom would turn on the
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  parade and then she'd get out the white wonder bread.
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  And then my job was to sit there with a big ass bowl that could
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  hold like 3 gallons of I mean it was huge plastic green bowl.
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  And my job was to tear up the white bread to make the stuffing
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  the mail like bread stuffing. That's what you use.
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  The bread. We're cornbread.
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  We're Southern so. OK, no, this is like breaded
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  stuffing with all of the good things.
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  It is Thanksgiving. It defines Thanksgiving for me.
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  Yeah. So I do.
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  I taught my kids how to do it, got them all set up in front of
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  the TV. And I would do it.
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  And she'd walk by and be like, OK, little smaller pieces or,
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  oh, that's just right. So I'd be very careful to make
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  sure I was tearing up the bread the right way.
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  It was really good. And I would eat it.
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  She'd be like, there should be more.
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  And I'm like, I don't know, I. Could totally see little Heather
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  doing that. And oh, by the way, I did this
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  through college. Like, this is not even just like
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  that was the tradition. Like, come home, I get my get on
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  the couch, I do that. So yeah, I have to have that
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  stuffing no matter what, unless I'm going to someone else's
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  house. That's rude.
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  You can't bring your own stuffing if you're going to
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  someone else's house unless they asked you to bring it, which no
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  one does. You're hosting.
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  You're doing the dressing yourself.
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  Do you call it dressing or stuff?
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  Yeah, you just switched on us. What?
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  What do you use? I know.
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  I think it's amid amid Colorado, I guess, because I grew up
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  stuffing. But in Colorado, they call it
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  dressing. And it is the same.
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  With the formal, no, no, no. So there's like three kinds.
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  There are stuffing. This is my own interpretation,
• 11:49
  you should Google it. Stuffing, I think, is the bread
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  stuffing that you bake in the casserole dish.
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  Dressing, I think, is the stuffing that is cooked inside
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  the bird and it comes out. And then there's cornbread,
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  which is always a dressing, which is also baked in the
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  casserole dish. So you've got bread stuffing,
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  cornbread stuffing or dressing that's cooked inside.
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  The bird is mine. Inside the bird be the stuffing,
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  because it's stuffing, I know. Maybe I said it backwards.
• 12:19
  No, I don't think you did. Like I had Nick would have so
• 12:22
  many opinions on this. I bet if he's listening he's
• 12:24
  just like tongue tied right now. So mad he's probably.
• 12:26
  I don't know me on this, it's my favorite food but I don't know
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  the meaning I guess. But there's definitely
• 12:30
  variation. Is that your favorite though?
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  Is that your favorite? 100% when I got to college and I
• 12:35
  didn't have to be under the purview of my mother making sure
• 12:37
  I ate my vegetables, I literally cooked a box of stove top maybe
• 12:45
  every night and then finish it off with a box of Lucky Charms
• 12:48
  and it was the best stove top and Lucky Charms.
• 12:52
  That was college. Well, the vegetable for
• 12:55
  Thanksgiving people's out. People are always trying to do
• 12:58
  the green bean casserole thing. Or is that is that a Midwest I?
• 13:00
  Love green bean casserole? It's one of my favorite dishes.
• 13:03
  Really. Mine too ate it.
• 13:05
  So especially the kind with like lots of cream of mushroom soup
• 13:08
  and. I like the French onions, the
• 13:12
  crispy, the. Crispy the crispy onions on top.
• 13:14
  They're not French onions, they're crispy onions.
• 13:17
  Yeah, crispy onions on top. What about sweet potato
• 13:20
  casserole? Do you do that?
• 13:21
  No, not OK. Sweet potatoes.
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  Should not be. I I'm gonna make you do it with
• 13:28
  a brown sugar and everything. I'm gonna bring some to you.
• 13:30
  They're already naturally sweet, let's not ruin a sweet potato.
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  No. OK, I got a recipe for you
• 13:35
  that's gonna change. Your life, Hey, the sweeter the
• 13:37
  potato, the less you'll see tomorrow.
• 13:40
  I don't know, Heather, you talking about the Detroit
• 13:46
  Thanksgiving parade brought up so many memories, 'cause I did
• 13:50
  used to go. It wasn't every year we would
• 13:52
  go, but we would, we would go downtown.
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  And it felt like at that time, Detroit was in Detroit, in the
• 14:00
  suburbs, had a very different relationship.
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  And so it was like this moment where it was like a lot of
• 14:05
  people who were not in Detroit were all of a sudden in Detroit
• 14:09
  and it felt. They went past Eight Mile.
• 14:10
  They were like, oh, what's going on?
• 14:12
  Yeah, and it's. We're down here.
• 14:14
  Is it safe? Yeah, and it felt really weird
• 14:16
  because you wouldn't really walk anywhere.
• 14:18
  You'd park, walk like 50 to 100 feet, see the parade, then go
• 14:24
  right back to the car and go drive away.
• 14:26
  And now we've been for the Thanksgiving parade and we can
• 14:30
  walk from my parents place and it's like the whole city is like
• 14:35
  lit up and it feels really, really fun.
• 14:39
  It's feels way more like everybody's talking to each
• 14:42
  other and it feels more like a we're celebrating as a city.
• 14:46
  It feels really nice. As far as like Thanksgiving
• 14:50
  traditions go though, like since Ray and I've been married, we we
• 14:53
  switch every year. So this year we're going to
• 14:56
  Indiana to go do Thanksgiving with her family.
• 14:59
  And I actually cook now. So I do a few dishes, bring a
• 15:04
  few things and I've been pinned as the hey, can you bring the
• 15:09
  gluten free, dairy free, vegetarian thing to bring?
• 15:13
  He's such a millennial. Yeah, but it's like we have
• 15:16
  people, we all get kind of grouped.
• 15:17
  All the people who have, you know, quote UN quote, dietary
• 15:20
  restrictions get kind of grouped all together.
• 15:23
  And I take it on, it's like a fun challenge because what I try
• 15:26
  to do is make it so good that when when you say what the thing
• 15:32
  you brought is, you don't say dairy free, gluten free,
• 15:34
  vegetarian, you don't say any of those things.
• 15:37
  All the people already know, all the people who have the diet,
• 15:39
  they already know. We already had our conversation.
• 15:41
  They're like, they're like took a bite of stuffing.
• 15:43
  They're like gluten free. Like they're just like, oh, it's
• 15:45
  cardboard. But what I'm, what my goal is,
• 15:47
  is to make something that people don't know.
• 15:51
  So it's not labeled. It's just this is a really good
• 15:55
  Thanksgiving dish and that's the fun challenge that I take on.
• 15:58
  So to are you trying to educate them?
• 16:01
  Convert them make. A well.
• 16:06
  What my? 1st.
• 16:08
  Piece of advice for like getting through the holiday, like drama
• 16:14
  is to like, like release yourself from being feeling like
• 16:20
  you need to educate your family in this moment, feeling like you
• 16:23
  need to pick an argument or feeling like you need to
• 16:25
  mediate, like release yourself from that role.
• 16:27
  And here I hear Clay, like, I'm going to check them.
• 16:30
  I'm going to show them gluten free is so good.
• 16:34
  OK. Is that what's happening?
• 16:37
  Is that what's happening? Are you manipulating your family
• 16:39
  into being vegan? Yeah, totally.
• 16:43
  No, I would say I would word it a little bit differently, which
• 16:47
  is that food can be delicious. And the labels that we put on
• 16:53
  food as like, I'm a meat eater, I'm a vegetarian, I'm a
• 16:56
  whatever. All of those identity pieces
• 16:59
  don't mean anything. Are you eating delicious food
• 17:03
  made with love with your family? That is what I'm trying to get
• 17:07
  to. And so I get labeled not by my
• 17:09
  family in particular, but by society as like, you are this
• 17:13
  person, you eat these kind of things and you believe these
• 17:16
  kind of things. And those labels are like the
• 17:20
  epitome of what Blakely is, I think saying, which is like, why
• 17:25
  are we trying to like get someone to adopt my label,
• 17:28
  identify with me? And it's like I'm just trying to
• 17:31
  like make really good food that when I'm done, I feel feel good.
• 17:36
  Everybody had a great time and they know that I made that with
• 17:39
  made this with them in mind. That's what I try to do.
• 17:43
  Well, I appreciate the reframe clay.
• 17:46
  But OK, but you got assigned this because they're like, we're
• 17:49
  not going to figure out his fucking food issues.
• 17:52
  So you bring it. You saw, I think you bring your
• 17:54
  own. That's true.
• 17:54
  Because they're like we're doing our regular homestyle.
• 17:57
  Whatever. We just, you know, we take our
• 17:59
  Tums and our Lactaid and we just like deal with it.
• 18:02
  You're totally. You're totally, I mean,
• 18:05
  everybody takes Lactaid. It's just we have like broccoli
• 18:09
  cheese soup. We've got, you know, cheese
• 18:11
  trays we've got yeah, broccoli and cheddar soup is on is on
• 18:16
  Thanksgiving. Mac and cheese we've, I mean,
• 18:19
  it's just if I'm not careful and if I don't do something that's
• 18:22
  not cheese related, we got cheese covered.
• 18:25
  If vegetarians, all they will be able to eat is the cheese dishes
• 18:29
  and that is going to make for a terrible Black Friday.
• 18:32
  I'm just telling you that right now.
• 18:36
  Oh, Black Friday. What do we think about that?
• 18:39
  100% all in always growing up, that was the like the way that I
• 18:43
  would go out early in the morning.
• 18:45
  It was so fun. It was the thing and I know it
• 18:46
  was special. It was special.
• 18:48
  Now it sucks and you know, when it started sucking, it was
• 18:51
  started sucking The second that they moved up the door Busters.
• 18:55
  It's a Thursday night. You lost me the first second
• 18:58
  that they moved door Busters, they moved door Busters starting
• 19:02
  Thanksgiving night at 6:00 PM. I'm like corporate America, fuck
• 19:06
  you guys. Like I don't want to leave.
• 19:09
  Yes, I want the door Buster. Yes, I want the TV for $50.
• 19:12
  I'm not going to leave my family because I need the TV for 50.
• 19:17
  You know, especially when you're on a budget and you like depend
• 19:20
  on those things working to like get make your dollar go further.
• 19:24
  And then they brought it into Thanksgiving night and now
• 19:25
  there's no race. There's no fun because I'm like,
• 19:27
  all right, I guess people who don't have a family or don't
• 19:30
  value the the time are going to get the TV.
• 19:33
  Yeah. So what's the point if they
• 19:35
  ruined it and now it's like Black Friday sale starts after
• 19:39
  Halloween, you know? Well.
• 19:40
  That's my issue. There is no start and end
• 19:42
  anymore. Like they say whatever Cyber
• 19:45
  Monday or what like it's all it's just pretty much the whole
• 19:49
  month of November, October. So there's just it's not sale
• 19:52
  just cheapens everything, right? It just cheapens.
• 19:55
  It's now you gotta go shop at like Patagonia.
• 19:57
  It's like anti Black Friday. Like okay, I get it now I get it
• 20:00
  so. Yeah, they ruined it and it used
• 20:02
  to be really, really fun and we'd make a day out of it and
• 20:05
  get so much Christmas shopping done all in one.
• 20:07
  My sister was so good at Black Friday.
• 20:10
  That was her jam. That's fine.
• 20:12
  Good. And oh, remember newspapers
• 20:15
  where you could like sit out and like Thanksgiving night, like
• 20:18
  people would like pass around newspapers and you're like
• 20:20
  getting ideas of like, OK, planning out your day of like,
• 20:22
  OK, we're going to hit Target and then we're going to hit Best
• 20:24
  Buy. And then we're going to kind of
• 20:25
  in the order of the deals that you wanted to get.
• 20:27
  A lot of people are like, what are you even talking about?
• 20:30
  That's so crazy. We'd never want to do the
• 20:31
  crowds. But again, if you're on a budget
• 20:34
  like they depend on that and it was kind of fun.
• 20:36
  It was the. Search of it.
• 20:38
  I never really liked it because you had to wake up so early.
• 20:41
  But again, my sister like thrived in it and she did what
• 20:43
  you said. She like took her list and took
• 20:45
  so much pride in like getting everything checked off the list.
• 20:48
  But I feel like the Internet is really what ruined it like they
• 20:51
  had to kind of get in it and so then it made it more competitive
• 20:55
  with like the big bot. It just it just all got ruined.
• 20:57
  Internet, stop ruining things. Cyber Monday I thought was the
• 21:02
  culprit where they basically as soon as Cyber Monday started,
• 21:06
  they were like, oh, people aren't going to go to the store
• 21:09
  on Friday and now all of the money is being kind of stretched
• 21:14
  out. And so now you're not spending
• 21:16
  money on Friday, you're waiting for the Cyber Monday deal.
• 21:19
  And it sometimes was even cheaper and you could get so
• 21:23
  much more done. I thought that was kind of the
• 21:26
  whole thing, but I saw Amazon this week is doing Black Friday
• 21:29
  week and I was like, oh, so it just basically doesn't mean
• 21:31
  anything anymore. Yeah, it's not even week.
• 21:34
  And they came after that. But I mean, that was like early,
• 21:37
  like late 90s, early 2000s. I remember my kids being like
• 21:41
  very young, maybe just being born when it took it to Thursday
• 21:47
  because I was like, well, I have kids now.
• 21:48
  Like I'm going to need to be home.
• 21:49
  I need to put them in bed. I'm not going to go leave to go
• 21:51
  to Target at midnight. Like it's just no.
• 21:54
  Especially not after 8:00 AM wine.
• 21:56
  Like it's not going to happen. I didn't drink in those years.
• 21:59
  I didn't drink for 13 years while my kids were at those
• 22:02
  ages. I just didn't.
• 22:04
  It's funny, I'm the opposite now.
• 22:06
  Like I'm my drinking's really skilled way back now that my
• 22:10
  kids are older. But those early years, yeah, I'm
• 22:13
  sorry. How did you deal with it though?
• 22:14
  Like, didn't you feel like crap at the next day?
• 22:16
  And then they're waking up and they need you and you're like,
• 22:19
  sorry and a company Mama got killed and.
• 22:21
  Drank a bottle of wine. It wasn't healthy.
• 22:26
  Yeah, there's been some impacts, but let's that's another episode
• 22:29
  at the time. Thanksgiving is sacred.
• 22:32
  I will always drink wine on Thanksgiving.
• 22:34
  Everyone should. Even Jesus did.
• 22:37
  Yeah, that's right. I mean, obviously it goes back
• 22:41
  to Jesus and Thanksgiving, right?
• 22:43
  I mean, that's where that started.
• 22:44
  Let's get into the origins of. Thanksgiving.
• 22:46
  Don't do that. Clearly a Nazarene holiday.
• 22:49
  Don't stay away from this sure topic.
• 22:51
  Jesus has nothing to do with Thanksgiving.
• 22:55
  Or does it have everything to do?
• 22:56
  Oh gosh, you don't want to go here.
• 22:57
  Don't get political. Let's not, does not.
• 23:00
  So let this be a. We'll be right back.
• 23:08
  Table topics, things to steer clear.
• 23:10
  From hey, so that actually is a great transition into what we
• 23:14
  wanted to talk about today, which is how do you lead through
• 23:19
  these difficult conversations? How do you avoid triggers?
• 23:24
  I don't know what word we want to use, but ways that we know
• 23:28
  Thanksgiving events, Thanksgiving family events, work
• 23:32
  events, stress, holiday spending, all that can really,
• 23:37
  really bring a lot of tension, frustration, weird comments.
• 23:42
  You add on 8:00 AM wine. All of a sudden now you've got
• 23:47
  the perfect 2:00 PM rage at 2:00 PM for 2:00 PM rage when the
• 23:53
  turkeys burn in someones talking in your ear.
• 23:57
  You wish you could never. You wish you had never invited
• 24:01
  this person to your house. How do you lead through moments
• 24:05
  like that? How do you avoid moments like
• 24:06
  that? How do you is this a episode on
• 24:09
  conflict? Conflict resolution?
• 24:11
  I don't know, I'm just trying to set up the topic.
• 24:14
  I think that everybody has this vision of the Hallmark holiday
• 24:19
  we used to call it. Or, you know, this idea of I, I
• 24:22
  used to love this show called Parenthood on Netflix.
• 24:24
  Such a good show, and it's a big.
• 24:26
  Family four or five. Kids Oh, different different
• 24:29
  than the movie, but that is a good movie.
• 24:31
  This is. Thought it was based on the
• 24:33
  movie. Borne, Graham.
• 24:34
  She has got Craig T Nelson. It's a Netflix series.
• 24:39
  There's like several seasons of it.
• 24:41
  Dax Shepard that he thought was one of his big roles anyway.
• 24:46
  But kind of that perfect family where it's like, OK, we've got
• 24:47
  the football going in the morning, but you know, cooking
• 24:50
  happening all day. Everybody's cleaning up and kind
• 24:52
  of dancing while they're washing the dishes.
• 24:54
  And it was like, I wanted to be part of that family, right?
• 24:57
  And I think accepting what your family is around that table that
• 25:00
  year and then just making that whatever it can.
• 25:04
  Because I think when you are looking toward expectations or
• 25:07
  what you have in your head how you want it to go, it just never
• 25:09
  does. Like there's you would just fail
• 25:11
  every time. You can get pissed about it, or
• 25:13
  you can just stay present and engage with what it's actually
• 25:17
  unfolding to be. Yeah, I was going to say the
• 25:19
  exact same thing. Like I even, yes, I manage your
• 25:23
  expectations. Don't walk into it thinking
• 25:26
  you're going to change anybody that day.
• 25:29
  Find just all those small moments.
• 25:32
  My therapist actually gave me some really interesting advice
• 25:36
  because I was struggling with my family.
• 25:38
  So we did the New Mexico thing for like the first ten years and
• 25:41
  then the 2nd 10 years we've been kind of rotating between parents
• 25:45
  and both my husband and I both have divorced parents.
• 25:48
  It's like overwhelming because which of the four are we going
• 25:51
  to go see? And dynamics are very different
• 25:55
  in every single one of those families.
• 25:57
  And tensions have gotten really heated in some scenarios.
• 26:03
  And so I, you know, I had just done like a couple years of
• 26:06
  therapy and I was like, ready to be all Zen and like how I
• 26:10
  managed to survive Thanksgiving. And she says, do this, go in and
• 26:16
  like become an observer of your family.
• 26:21
  Like, don't participate in it. Don't engage.
• 26:24
  Don't engage. Just become an observer.
• 26:25
  And so it was really interesting.
• 26:27
  I sat there and just kind of imagine myself at the top of the
• 26:30
  table looking at everyone. And by being an observer, you
• 26:35
  got to see all the patterns, like the positive ones, the
• 26:38
  negative ones, you got to see, oops, the interactions and it
• 26:43
  just kind of like took the edge off.
• 26:46
  I got to like, I got to see it and know that so much of it is
• 26:50
  like rooted in your childhood, in your traditions and your
• 26:53
  beliefs. And and so go back to what you
• 26:55
  said, Heather. It's just, it's the time to
• 26:57
  manage those expectations. It's got to be messy.
• 26:59
  Let it be messy. It's a day like give the gift to
• 27:02
  the elders, you know, like. Yeah, don't have just be right.
• 27:05
  Don't don't need to like have your opinion be the right one.
• 27:08
  Don't try to convince anybody of anything like it's OK.
• 27:12
  Let let them be. Let them be crazy.
• 27:14
  Let them. Let them batshit nuts and and
• 27:16
  that's OK because they're still your family and you love them.
• 27:19
  And so we're and they think you're right batshit crazy right
• 27:23
  back. But like if it's like letting go
• 27:26
  of the control of it. Yeah.
• 27:28
  Letting go of the control. I'm really good at laughing in
• 27:31
  the kitchen. I'm spectacular at laughing in
• 27:34
  the kitchen because I'm such a bad cook.
• 27:37
  I'm an OK Baker. I'm a horrendous cook.
• 27:40
  It's. Really bad.
• 27:42
  It will be burned, it will be too salty.
• 27:45
  It will, it will. I was making of the mixer thing
• 27:49
  of dough the other day and it said let go on high for 10
• 27:54
  minutes right? And like the mixer.
• 27:56
  So I have a KitchenAid mixer. It's nice dirty mixer.
• 27:58
  So I'm like high 10 minutes went upstairs, did something else
• 28:01
  came down. The whole thing was in the
• 28:03
  middle of the floor. It had come out against the wall
• 28:05
  because it got so like boom boom boom where like the mixer starts
• 28:08
  walking. I hear this huge crash the.
• 28:10
  Mixer starts. The dough is in the mixer
• 28:13
  started walking. I wish I had one of those like
• 28:16
  inside cameras to see it. It was like boom boom boom to
• 28:19
  the edge of the counter I guess and then ended up in the middle
• 28:22
  of the floor dough scattered across the whole floor.
• 28:24
  I just burst out laughing like it ruined everything, but I just
• 28:28
  because it's it's just bad. And so you just have to laugh.
• 28:32
  And if someone starts saying crazy shit, just laugh.
• 28:35
  Just laugh at them. Just be like that's crazy
• 28:38
  grandma. Okay, cool.
• 28:40
  Pass the butter like it's What are you going to do that change
• 28:44
  in her mind? No, she's not.
• 28:47
  It's not your job too anyway. Right, like pass the butter.
• 28:51
  No, I usually like try to catch someones eye just to like and
• 28:54
  it's usually my daughter. She's like my safe person.
• 28:57
  Yes, someone else she. And I like were like.
• 29:01
  That's good if you can have a partner in that, if you can have
• 29:05
  somebody where they are also recognizing it and you could
• 29:08
  just just. Takes the edge off.
• 29:11
  It does. It's all about taking the edge
• 29:13
  off and setting your intention before you walk in the door.
• 29:17
  Definitely, but I do think like the game, if your family's a
• 29:21
  game family, if there's a if you're a question family, like,
• 29:25
  Hey, top five movies you'd take on a desert island, like
• 29:28
  whatever you can do to kind of set topics that are interesting.
• 29:31
  If you do have grandparents there and also younger children
• 29:34
  or teenagers, like what are some questions you can ask to can
• 29:38
  create those bonds? Because it's a limited time,
• 29:41
  right? I mean, with electronics and
• 29:44
  everyone on their phones, and I mean grandparents are worse
• 29:46
  these days on their phones and their iPads and like it's, it's
• 29:48
  scrolling like crazy and it's just, it's, it's always.
• 29:52
  Well, they're only scrolling Facebook.
• 29:53
  I think they all Facebook. It's adorable.
• 29:57
  It's adorable, but they're distracted.
• 29:58
  There's so many things pulling them out of the moment, so.
• 30:02
  You know, they do also sell like little like boxes of cards that
• 30:09
  have questions on them or things if you're like, I can't think of
• 30:12
  those questions in the moment. I'm flustered.
• 30:14
  You can get things like that and bring it to the table or just
• 30:18
  set it out even as like a that's the ripcord, you know, like the
• 30:22
  emergency pull the parachute if you need it.
• 30:25
  But I found the same thing to be true if you set your intention
• 30:29
  before you show up and you lead with questions or curiosity and
• 30:35
  and avoid knowing yourself. Finding ways to when you're
• 30:41
  like, you know what, what they said really bothered me and
• 30:46
  accepting it and then just being like, I can just let it go.
• 30:50
  He's like, at least until you get in the car on the way home
• 30:52
  where you can be like, Can you believe?
• 30:54
  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah power.
• 30:56
  Yeah. Yeah, wait, just save it.
• 30:58
  Save it for the car, right home or like, you know, you don't
• 31:01
  need to say it in that moment. Nobody needs to engage.
• 31:03
  OK, but what are we going to do with the grandma scrolling
• 31:05
  through Facebook? What are you doing?
• 31:08
  So actually, believe it or not, this year I have it.
• 31:11
  Can I go get it? I have something for this like
• 31:14
  that I'm actually. Doing this like producer is
• 31:16
  leaving the podcast. You know, I feel very insecure.
• 31:20
  Well, a good producer would have brought it and had it here, so.
• 31:23
  I. Don't know what you're doing?
• 31:25
  You're accused. Can we still talk when you're
• 31:27
  not here? Is.
• 31:28
  He gonna stop recording? Does the show run while?
• 31:32
  I've never seen him get up, except when you said that about
• 31:35
  Eminem. I actually have to.
• 31:36
  I'm gonna, there's a setting I have to turn off here where if I
• 31:40
  leave the frame, it just shuts off.
• 31:41
  Like the podcast doesn't work anymore, but hang on one second.
• 31:44
  Really. That's job security.
• 31:45
  OK, we're good. That's bullshit.
• 31:46
  I'll be right back. He's, I think that's bullshit,
• 31:48
  by the way, he's totally lying. Is he?
• 31:51
  I don't never know. He gave his like whatever face.
• 31:56
  I don't even know how to make that I'll.
• 31:58
  Be right back. OK, so this year, right before
• 32:07
  dinner, what I'm going to do is I'm going to pull this out and
• 32:12
  what this is is speaker. It looks like a speaker.
• 32:15
  Doesn't look like the old iPod. It.
• 32:17
  Looks like an apple pill. Box.
• 32:19
  It's very simple. It's just a box and to the top
• 32:23
  here locks and it has a timer you can set and then you you.
• 32:28
  Create for devices. So this is for devices.
• 32:30
  So what I'm going to be doing this year is right before
• 32:32
  dinner, I'm going to say, hey, before you know, we do our
• 32:35
  family prayer and like, serve the food and everything.
• 32:38
  So does anyone want to put their phones away?
• 32:41
  I'm going to be doing it. And if anyone wants to join me,
• 32:45
  I'm going to set it for, I don't know, hour and a half maybe?
• 32:48
  What if nobody joins you and you're like, well, my phone's
• 32:51
  locked up? That's yeah, I actually.
• 32:54
  Is that fine? I don't think it's going to be
• 32:58
  fine. I think you're going to be
• 32:59
  pissed. I know.
• 33:00
  I think if you put the box around like a collection plate,
• 33:02
  you know, coming in grandma people.
• 33:04
  Scroll on Facebook. OK, so help me lead through
• 33:06
  this. How do I get people to do this?
• 33:08
  Because my intention is to create an opportunity for people
• 33:12
  to put their phones away so that while we're having dinner and
• 33:15
  dessert that we don't have our phones.
• 33:18
  So I think we need to get buy in from the host and have the host
• 33:21
  ask because I don't think you have, you don't have rank right
• 33:24
  now to ask this because you're not hosting at your house.
• 33:27
  So you're going into someone else's house and trying to set
• 33:28
  the rules for their holiday. I don't think you can do that.
• 33:31
  Do you think they would be the leader or is that a?
• 33:34
  So at this point we've already been together for wow, 8 hours.
• 33:40
  I mean, we've been together all day, so it's not like I could
• 33:44
  say it earlier in the day or obviously I'm totally up for
• 33:47
  going to the host and saying, hey, this is an idea that I had.
• 33:51
  What do you think about it? And they can vote it down or
• 33:54
  whatever, but at this point we've been together the whole
• 33:57
  day and it's really just for dinner and dessert.
• 34:00
  Like maybe an hour, you know, something like that, something.
• 34:03
  Simple. Have amorous.
• 34:04
  Ask have amorous. Oh, if he asks that'll be cool,
• 34:07
  but he doesn't have a. Phone though.
• 34:10
  He's never. Fun.
• 34:10
  Yeah, but he can still do the asking in corporate world.
• 34:14
  And Heather, like back me up on this corporate world.
• 34:17
  We would call that socializing. So before a big decision at the
• 34:21
  boardroom has to be made, you have to socialize the idea.
• 34:25
  And so you have to like, slowly it by and from all your
• 34:28
  constituents before you bring it up or else it is just going to
• 34:32
  poo and, like, die with a thud. So I think, Heather, that's what
• 34:37
  you meant, right? Like, you got to socialize it.
• 34:39
  You got to start with your host, except with Emeris.
• 34:43
  Like, to me, like, if you could coach him and start rehearsing
• 34:47
  what he's going to say and just have him go up.
• 34:50
  Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, easy done.
• 34:52
  OK, I'm going to write that down.
• 34:53
  And by the way, where can I get one of those?
• 34:55
  Because I want to pulling out. You won't believe this, Amazon
• 34:59
  is having a Black Friday week. I'll send you a link.
• 35:04
  How many phones will fit in there?
• 35:06
  Can I get 4 phones in there? You can get 4 phones in here.
• 35:09
  Yeah, So you could fit probably 6.
• 35:13
  They sell a bigger one. The, the, there's, there's, it's
• 35:16
  so funny what the advertising is on the outside of the box, like
• 35:19
  what they think you're going to put in here.
• 35:23
  And it's like there's a picture of like a pack of cigarettes,
• 35:28
  like a bunch of a bunch of cookies and then car keys.
• 35:33
  Oh, so you don't lose your car keys?
• 35:35
  Oh, it's the key master. They're like you're, you're
• 35:38
  going to drink and drive or you're going to.
• 35:40
  The key master. You're going to smoke all your
• 35:43
  cigarettes too fast or you're going to eat too many cookies.
• 35:48
  Yeah, it's really fun. When you open it up, you're just
• 35:50
  going to binge. So I don't know how I feel about
• 35:52
  that, but the key master is a good one for parties, phones and
• 35:56
  screen. I really am going to express
• 35:59
  that tonight so we can have it on the rest of our vacation.
• 36:03
  I love it and I don't have a sweet.
• 36:05
  I'm ours to tell my family. It's just going to be pure.
• 36:08
  Do it or else I pay your bill. It's a good.
• 36:11
  That's the rule. That's what I say, Clay.
• 36:13
  I think look, you know your own family, you know who's coming.
• 36:17
  This isn't a shock. So just pick what's going to
• 36:20
  make it as light as possible. Don't engage if you know it's
• 36:24
  going to go somewhere bad. Check your fucking ego at the
• 36:27
  door. Really Like just if, if you can
• 36:30
  be the one person that shows up without an ego to Thanksgiving,
• 36:33
  it's going to go better for you. You let that go.
• 36:36
  Just check it out the door. Let's leave it there.
• 36:39
  What about work advice, Heather? What do you do as like a a
• 36:43
  leader, a manager to make the holidays better for people?
• 36:48
  I think it's interesting because like there's always different,
• 36:51
  like is do they have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off?
• 36:53
  Do we have like, my company actually has Black Friday off
• 36:56
  but not Christmas Eve. Like they're just like these
• 36:58
  weird ones. I know, it's funny, isn't it?
• 37:00
  Did you set the rules? No, I didn't.
• 37:02
  I came into it. But you know, I respect them.
• 37:05
  So, I mean, as a Black Friday person, I'm like, yeah, but you
• 37:08
  know, they have you take PTO the other days.
• 37:12
  But yeah, I mean, I think first and foremost, don't put on your
• 37:18
  employees that they need to be working or attentive.
• 37:20
  Didn't you do something like that, Blakely, where you're
• 37:22
  like, you should not like? We are not going to respond to
• 37:25
  e-mail. I know what this is and Blakely,
• 37:27
  you have to share. It's very cool.
• 37:28
  Oh, I will share it. It has nothing to do with the
• 37:31
  the holidays specifically, but we had a policy where we paid
• 37:37
  our employees $1000 if they would take the week off and
• 37:42
  actually not engage with the company.
• 37:43
  So no e-mail, no phone call, no emergencies.
• 37:47
  And it had nothing to do with like any other form of payment
• 37:50
  or how long their vacation was. But if they took at least a week
• 37:53
  to recharge and focus on themselves, we would just give
• 37:56
  them 1000 bucks cash because it's so hard to do and we really
• 38:00
  wanted them to do it and we're serious about it.
• 38:03
  And we, we had that bonus twice a year.
• 38:06
  So you could take whatever, 5 weeks, 10 weeks or whatever.
• 38:09
  No, please don't. I, we never gave people 10 weeks
• 38:12
  off, but up to two weeks a year, you would qualify for that.
• 38:15
  Because I don't think people take it seriously.
• 38:18
  I think they feel this false pressure to like still check
• 38:20
  their e-mail and and then they're worried about like it
• 38:23
  even being worse when they get back.
• 38:25
  And I know it, but it's still better if you get fully rested
• 38:29
  when you're gone. That's awesome.
• 38:31
  That is so good because it gives them the freedom to actually do
• 38:33
  that. I think, you know, managers, I
• 38:35
  mean, I, I feel this way. I, I work, I do work so many
• 38:39
  weekends because I'm in so many meetings and there is still desk
• 38:43
  work that needs to be done. And I just, by the time I've
• 38:46
  been in back-to-back meetings all day, I'm exhausted and in my
• 38:49
  brain is no good to do that sit down, heads down work.
• 38:52
  So I do find myself working like on a Sunday or something to
• 38:55
  catch up. And I know very well people who
• 38:58
  let's say you're not hosting Thanksgiving and you're like, Oh
• 39:00
  my gosh, I have this day where everyone has off work and I
• 39:03
  don't have to be anywhere till 5:00.
• 39:05
  I'm going to just get all my work done even though it's
• 39:07
  Thanksgiving. I don't care.
• 39:08
  Like I'm just going to use this time.
• 39:09
  But then you start sending emails to people because you
• 39:12
  need it off your plate, but then you're putting it on theirs on a
• 39:15
  holiday. So just be conscious.
• 39:16
  Like that's what schedule send is for.
• 39:18
  If you're going to be working any part of a holiday or through
• 39:20
  this season and you know that someone's on PTO, they've
• 39:23
  requested it or you're it's a company holiday, schedule send
• 39:27
  that shit. Do not put that in people's.
• 39:30
  Don't put it on their plate. This is the best tip.
• 39:33
  I would extend that to all the bosses that go home and like
• 39:38
  e-mail their employees at 3:00 AM schedule send that too.
• 39:41
  Like if you know that is when and that might be when they get
• 39:45
  clarity or time off or away from their kids.
• 39:47
  I think that's OK. But man, you're right, Heather,
• 39:50
  there is no excuse not to schedule send so it hits in
• 39:53
  business hours. That's my favorite piece of
• 39:56
  advice. I've heard all year I love it.
• 39:59
  Wow, simple thing. I never thought about it right,
• 40:01
  but it makes so much sense to me.
• 40:03
  I would say the other thing to Oh, go ahead, Clay, I was.
• 40:06
  Going to say that I one thing with that that is super
• 40:11
  important as a person who's been an employee is that hearing that
• 40:17
  right before we all go and hearing it directly either
• 40:22
  verbally or written from the leader and saying this is the
• 40:27
  expectation. You will not be checking your
• 40:30
  e-mail. You will not be expected to hear
• 40:32
  be heard from until this date. That is like the e-mail that I
• 40:37
  looked forward to every year because it was like the
• 40:40
  permission in case I didn't feel like I could do it myself or I
• 40:44
  didn't have the power to actually do it myself.
• 40:45
  Hearing it directly from the leader is so huge.
• 40:50
  OK, I have a question. Are we doing Christmas
• 40:52
  decorations before Thanksgiving? Like is that, I mean I know you
• 40:55
  are with your big fucking tree, but like is are are you getting
• 40:59
  those up 'cause I'm like do I need?
• 41:01
  To do that, I did. You did OK, you you already did.
• 41:05
  It's the very. First year it's the very very
• 41:08
  first year I've ever done that and I think it's because we're
• 41:12
  not traveling this year we're really trying to stay home and
• 41:15
  and hang out around here and I just I needed the spirit OK, so
• 41:22
  I. But it you know, I because it is
• 41:25
  still Thanksgiving and then we do have Christmas, but I feel
• 41:29
  like people do get the tree up for Thanksgiving.
• 41:32
  Some people do. No, but my next question was
• 41:35
  going to be Christmas music. Can you start the day after?
• 41:39
  No. Yeah, well, the day after I
• 41:41
  think the tree should. We always did it the day after.
• 41:45
  Yes. Oh, we do.
• 41:46
  We would go out and cut down a tree and then, yeah, that was
• 41:51
  like a whole like day after Thanksgiving thing if I was.
• 41:53
  Hosting Thanksgiving I I would not have my Christmas
• 41:57
  decorations up so. Because of the stress of it all.
• 42:02
  I don't know that that's like you have to have a cornucopia on
• 42:05
  your table and so you can't, I have to.
• 42:07
  Have a. Copion point that is at the same
• 42:10
  time like 2 color palette clashes.
• 42:13
  So no you're right I'm going to wait.
• 42:16
  So I think I'm an anomaly on this year.
• 42:18
  I think normally let's save it for the day after Thanksgiving
• 42:21
  would be my preference except. For this.
• 42:24
  All right, that's good. Breaking the rules?
• 42:27
  Hey guys. One more tradition that that we
• 42:30
  do in my family is at Thanksgiving is we go around the
• 42:34
  table and we say what we were thankful for.
• 42:35
  Have you ever heard of that? Have you guys ever.
• 42:37
  Heard. Yeah, I thought.
• 42:39
  That too. I thought it was just us.
• 42:43
  Is it not the most stressful thing?
• 42:45
  Like we said, at least tables of like 20 to 30 people.
• 42:49
  It can get. Lengthy.
• 42:50
  OK, yeah, but we do need to say our thankfuls.
• 42:53
  It's important. We do, but also, but I say we, I
• 42:56
  say we offer this as a Thanksgiving tip.
• 42:58
  Oh. When you're saying what you're
• 43:01
  thankful for, don't turn it into a story.
• 43:05
  Kind of, you know, like even when we're doing our smiles of
• 43:08
  the week, sometimes we're getting longer.
• 43:10
  We're like, how do we button those up?
• 43:11
  It's because we're, that's a little different.
• 43:13
  You do kind of have to tell the context.
• 43:15
  But for what you're thankful for, 1/2 sentences, tops.
• 43:20
  Keep it quick. Move on to the next person
• 43:23
  because otherwise everybody's sitting there, No one's really
• 43:26
  listening to everyone's thank yous because they're just
• 43:28
  thinking about what they're going to say.
• 43:30
  So depending on where you are in the lineup, you're not getting
• 43:33
  it. You're not thinking about
• 43:34
  anything except what you're going to say.
• 43:35
  So once you talk, then you start listening.
• 43:37
  So just consider that, Raise your hand to go first so you get
• 43:41
  it over with, and then you can actually enjoy what other people
• 43:43
  are saying. But keep it tight.
• 43:46
  Keep it tight. Keep it tight.
• 43:48
  That is great advice for me because I always ramble on to my
• 43:50
  stories so thank you for that. You're welcome.
• 43:53
  I was hoping you were going to pick up on that.
• 43:55
  That was me. I am the worst at that, clay.
• 43:58
  I'm way, way worse than you at that.
• 44:02
  So are we going to say one sentence with no explanation?
• 44:05
  I think we should try. For gratitude, absolutely.
• 44:07
  And also what not to keep tight is your pants.
• 44:10
  Make sure you got your Turkey pants on.
• 44:13
  It's, you know, you're elastic. Yeah.
• 44:15
  Good. Advice.
• 44:16
  Yeah. OK, I do want to go first.
• 44:19
  I'm grateful that this year the Lions are playing at 1:00 and
• 44:24
  I'm eating dinner at 5:00. Oh, Amen brother, Except if it
• 44:30
  doesn't go well. I'll get there.
• 44:34
  I'll go through that when I get there.
• 44:36
  OK, that's fair. What am I doing?
• 44:38
  Why am I projecting that it's not going to it's going to go
• 44:40
  great? I'm just grateful that I get to
• 44:42
  see my team play on Thanksgiving.
• 44:46
  Yeah, OK, Who's next at our proverbial table here?
• 44:52
  Is it you blakers? I'm not giving up on it.
• 44:58
  So I am, I'm going to succinctly, as I can say
• 45:04
  succinctly, I am very grateful for this podcast and what it has
• 45:11
  brought. It has brought just a creative
• 45:15
  side of me that I didn't know needed to be nourished, which I
• 45:20
  just, it was like, it's like internal fuel and new friends
• 45:25
  and unexpected new friends like it's you guys are you're now my
• 45:30
  new people. This is where I live in Podcast
• 45:34
  world. This is a floating head.
• 45:38
  Can I ask, do you feel like a podcaster?
• 45:42
  I think I've crossed some boundary where I used to get
• 45:45
  really nervous and I'm like, what's it going to happen?
• 45:48
  And now I can just roll right in and shit the chat.
• 45:51
  Shoot the shit did you do? So does that make me a
• 45:54
  podcaster? Yes, it does.
• 45:56
  Congratulations. You're really good at it.
• 45:59
  I well, first I'm gonna go back on what I said about the couple
• 46:03
  sentences. I think it's more about like 30
• 46:05
  seconds like a time than it is like one or two sentences cuz I
• 46:07
  really. I'm gonna change my text so.
• 46:09
  No, it was really good. And the reason why I was really
• 46:13
  good is because that is my, that is my thankful thing, my
• 46:15
  gratitude. This podcast has been healing
• 46:20
  and it's a bright spot of my week and I love it if I hear
• 46:23
  that other people are experiencing the same thing and
• 46:25
  also it's OK if they're not like because it is.
• 46:29
  It is pivotal in my health and Wellness in life now.
• 46:33
  So I'm. So thankful to Stephanie for
• 46:38
  saying Stephanie betters go made us a betters place.
• 46:43
  Yep. Yeah.
• 46:50
  Do you think I should change mine?
• 46:51
  Do you think I should revisit what my?
• 46:54
  What was yours again? The lion I'm.
• 46:56
  Thankful for the Lions, which has been his smile of the week
• 46:58
  for every week for the. Last.
• 47:00
  Weeks not last, so I feel like we need like an outtake rail.
• 47:03
  I didn't even go yet, I was waiting to go.
• 47:06
  I'm thankful for. The Lions.
• 47:07
  I thought you were smiling. Because the Lions.
• 47:11
  Last week, it was our tears. Yeah, no, can I just, can I just
• 47:16
  button it up from my side, too? I am so grateful for this
• 47:19
  podcast. It has meant the world to me,
• 47:22
  getting that phone call from Heather saying I'm thinking
• 47:24
  about starting a podcast and I'm like, OK, so what's going on?
• 47:28
  She's like, yeah, so anyway, I used to compete with this woman
• 47:31
  and now we're best friends because we got drunk out of
• 47:33
  Chili's at like 2:00 in the afternoon.
• 47:35
  And that's not what she said. That's not what.
• 47:39
  I said we did not have a Chili's.
• 47:41
  We went to a very upscale tapas restaurant.
• 47:45
  I love how defensive you got about that.
• 47:47
  I actually didn't call her my best friend after the first time
• 47:50
  I met. You're making me look like you
• 47:51
  did. Stalker did call me your best
• 47:54
  friend. Well, I mean.
• 47:55
  Now obviously people are gonna get pissed about this.
• 47:58
  We're gonna, we're gonna get in trouble, Totes Mcgouts.
• 48:02
  I'm so grateful that it has come together, that the two of you
• 48:05
  have been willing to sit in front of a camera and talk.
• 48:08
  It takes a lot of courage. It takes a lot of like Blakely
• 48:12
  had mentioned, like you have to just kind of get over yourself a
• 48:15
  little bit and just be like, that's what I look like.
• 48:17
  That's what I sound like. And that's what's happening
• 48:19
  right now. And I got to let it go.
• 48:21
  And the two of you have been faithful to this podcast.
• 48:25
  And I see it going for a very long time.
• 48:28
  And I'm very grateful that I've been able to meet Blakely
• 48:31
  through this and reconnect with Heather because Heather and I
• 48:33
  hadn't really hung out or like talked or been close for a
• 48:37
  while. So it's really nice.
• 48:39
  So I'm I'm very grateful. Well, happy Thanksgiving,
• 48:42
  everybody. Happy Thanksgiving, I hope you
• 48:44
  all survive. Yes, and definitely play
• 48:46
  Christmas music while you're cooking.
• 48:48
  I love that. Sure.
• 48:55
  All right, that's a wrap. Happy Thanksgiving.
• 48:58
  Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving.