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New Year, Better Habits: Lessons from The 7 Habits · To Your Good Health

0:00
David Friedman, BS: Hello, This is Dr.
0:01
David Friedman, host of Ood Health Radio.
0:03
What if I told you the decisions you make today from teenager into
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adulthood could completely alter the path of your entire life?
0:12
Today we're going to discuss a proven framework that's helped over.
0:16
8 million young people navigate peer pressure, build self-esteem,
0:20
and achieve their goals.
0:22
Our next guest has cracked the code on transforming education
0:25
worldwide, teaching students not just what to think but how to think.
0:30
His revolutionary Leader In ME program is in over 8,000 schools, across
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70 countries, producing amazing results in student achievement and
0:38
culture, and he's just launched groundbreaking new initiatives
0:42
that help people turn setbacks.
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Into comebacks.
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Whether you're a parent struggling to connect with your teen, an educator
0:49
looking to make a difference, or you just want someone you know who can
0:53
show you some practical goals, Oriental goals to help keep you focused in 2026.
0:58
Stay tuned.
0:59
When it comes to unlocking human potential, we've got Sean Covey, the
1:03
master locksmith in the house, and he's ready to help you find the keys
1:07
to success, and it all starts now.
1:20
Our next guest holds an MBA from Harvard Business School and a
1:23
degree in English in Brigham Young University where he was the quarterback
1:28
before a career ending knee injury.
1:30
He's the president of Franklin Cov Education and Vice President of Global
1:34
Solutions and Partnerships, where he oversees international operations spanning
1:39
over 140 countries, a Wall Street Journal and New York Times bestselling author.
1:44
Sean has written multiple.
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Influential books, including The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens,
1:49
which has sold over 8 million copies and translated into 20 languages.
1:54
The Four Disciplines of Execution, a number one Wall Street Journal bestseller.
1:59
Six Most Important Decisions you'll Ever Make, And the Seven Habits of Ha.
2:03
Happy Kids.
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Collectively, his books have sold over 10.
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Million copies worldwide.
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He's the son of the late Stephen r Covey, author of the Landmark
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Bestseller, the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, which has been
2:16
named the number one most influential business book of the 20th century.
2:20
Welcome to the show, Sean Covey.
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Sean Covey: Dr.
2:23
Friedman, it's a pleasure to be with you.
2:25
Thank you for having me on the show.
2:26
Today.
2:26
David Friedman, BS: Yeah, it's so great.
2:27
Now your father's work changed millions of lives and you've extended
2:30
that legacy in your own unique way.
2:33
What was it like growing up in a household centered around these
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principles and when did you realize, hey, I wanna carry this work forward?
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Sean Covey: Okay.
2:41
Yeah, a great question.
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I get that.
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Ask that all the time.
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So Stephen r Covey, he was the author of The Seven Habits
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of Highly Effective People.
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Right, which has been the really most influential.
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Business, self-help book of its time, in the last 40 years.
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And so growing up in his home, I was lucky to have a good mom and dad, but
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dad was always trying to teach us these principles before they were named.
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And before this was a book, he was always trying to teach us, the idea of being
3:08
proactive, which is one of the habits.
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So for example, I would come home from school and I would
3:14
say something like, Mom and dad.
3:16
teacher in algebra just sucks.
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I can't stand him and I'm gonna flunk algebra and it's his fault.
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My dad would take me aside and say, you know, Sean, that's
3:24
kind of a, victim mentality.
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You're, gonna flunk algebra and it's your teacher's fault.
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And if you have a problem with your teacher, why don't you go talk with
3:31
him instead of talking behind his back?
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And if you flunk algebra son, it's your own fault, not your teachers.
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And I'd say, dad.
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You're so weird.
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Where's mom?
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I'd go talk with mom and she'd let me blame my teacher for my problems.
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So, it was kind of a, good balance in our home, but my father was
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always trying to teach us kids about, beginning with the end in mind,
3:50
having a plan and sharpening your saw.
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so was raised with, these habits and these principles, and of course, we struggle
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to live them, but I was taught them.
4:00
David Friedman, BS: Yeah, I know you went from a focus on football to
4:03
Harvard Business School to a leading global education transformation.
4:07
That, boy, that's a big mix.
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How did those early experiences shape your philosophy about.
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Uh, turning setbacks into opportunities.
4:14
Sean Covey: Yeah, well, I think the teachings of the seven habits
4:17
And the teachings from my parents, of course influenced me a lot.
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And so currently I'm running, Franklin Covey Education.
4:23
And what we found is, these seven habits and these principles that our
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company teaches at Franklin Covey, these are powerful and they can be used.
4:31
large corporations use these small businesses, use these individuals,
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do schools do, we've got 'em being used in the military, for different
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purposes so they can be used because they're based upon timeless principles
4:45
of effectiveness that always work.
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And so we, in my role now, we've found that they work really well in schools.
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And so we have a program called Leader in Me, which basically teaches
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leadership to students, And we do it with kindergartners and elementary
5:00
and middle and high school students.
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And, it's so amazing to see when these kids learn how to set and achieve goals.
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Learn a common leadership language, learn about, being proactive and how
5:13
to get along well with other people thinking win-win, and seeking first.
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Understand these basic, durable skills, these life skills that get you college,
5:22
career and life ready are, So we have these in, 8,000 schools in over 50
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countries, and really amazing to see the impact of the seven habits that
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my father started and wrote in 1989, is stronger now than ever before.
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David Friedman, BS: Wow.
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I know a lot's changed.
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I mean, you've updated the book for the digital age.
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What are the most dangerous traps you see teens falling into with now
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social media, which is new since the beginning of when you started
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the book and all this technology?
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And the dancing And the TikTok and, how did the seven habits specifically
5:51
help them navigate cyber bullying and comparison culture And the digital
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overwhelming, presence that they get when they click those, buttons on their phone.
6:01
Sean Covey: Sure.
6:01
I just say I acknowledge it's very difficult.
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I have, a teenager right now at home.
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he's a senior in high school and it's changed completely.
6:10
I think there's a lot of loneliness.
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I think there's a lot of, Mental health challenges because of it.
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social media clearly is hurting our children.
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I think it's wonderful when I, there's a lot of states that have
6:21
said we're not having phones in schools, during the school day.
6:24
I think that's a really good thing.
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I support it.
6:27
I think as a parent, I think it's really important to have a plan of some kind,
6:30
not just let your kid have a free for all.
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we have screen time that we use for my son.
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We encourage him to limit his social media.
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I think AI is becoming a, big part of our teenagers lives now, and
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it's important to teach them to use it as a tool and not a master.
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but, these habits are very important because they teach these people skills
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that are increasingly important as kids become more lonely, spending more
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time on technology, such as, you know, habit for is called Think win-Win.
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And it's the idea of, mutual benefit that we can, I care
7:03
about you and I care about me.
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I want us both to win.
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And the idea of seeking first to understand, then to be understood,
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the idea of how to listen to another person, empathically and synergy.
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so habit six is called synergize, and it teaches that, teaches
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complimenting us that we should value differences and not see them
7:20
as a threat, but as an opportunity.
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so, learning the, these habits, these skills in your home, in your
7:27
school, they're just essential for a productive and happy life.
7:32
But I acknowledge are big challenges unlike we've ever seen before.
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David Friedman, BS: Yeah, no, when I was growing up, there was
7:37
no, Texting on a phone during Thanksgiving, and now that's a burden.
7:41
It's just like, hello.
7:43
You know.
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it's, I'm over here.
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And, even young kids now, you know, even 18, 20, 22, 20, they go out on dates and
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they're looking in their phone, not even talking to the person across the table.
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So it's, gotten to be a, big issue.
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I think it's this dopamine rush or something that, it's an addiction.
7:57
I think it's like, Hey, stop smoking cigarettes and look at me.
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Well, now it's, stop looking at your phone and look at me.
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It's an addiction.
8:02
Similar.
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Do you agree?
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Sean Covey: Yeah, absolutely.
8:04
I, I agree.
8:05
I think it is an addiction and it's something that I think increasingly
8:09
people are becoming aware of.
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You saw that, Australia, bandit, social media up until, until you're 18.
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I was in a school recently in Oklahoma and I was talking to the superintendent
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of this big school districts with 30,000 kids, and he said, Oklahoma just passed a
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law that you can't have phones in schools.
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And I, he said, I didn't think it would go very well, I thought.
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This was gonna be a real problem that parents would really complain.
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He said, it is amazing.
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He said, you should see it at lunchtime.
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Now kids are talking to each other.
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They, they weren't doing that before.
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They were just on their phones.
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He said, This is such a good, healthy thing.
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I.
8:43
So it's just so important to have boundaries, right?
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It's, is a tool.
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We have to have it.
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you can't live without it, but you gotta use it as a tool and not a master.
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And, and it's very important for teenagers won't have the discipline
8:55
or the know-how to control it.
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So, it's up to us as adults and parents to help them navigate this
9:00
and find space without technology.
9:03
David Friedman, BS: Yeah, that's so true.
9:04
I know so many people.
9:05
they made New Year's resolution, and by the time this segment airs,
9:08
75% will have already given up.
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How can people apply your seven habits to maybe a more
9:14
su sustain sustainable outcome?
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Sean Covey: Yeah, so common, right, to set New Year's resolutions And
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then give up, a month into it.
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I think we've all experienced that.
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I think the approach of the seven habits, the seven habits,
9:25
is really a long-term approach.
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It's not a quick fix.
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It's not like set a goal and next week you're gonna be okay.
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It's not abs in 30 days.
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it's basically a, long-term approach to a healthy, balanced life.
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So, for example, habit two is called Begin with the End in mind.
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A great way.
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to maybe a different approach than setting a goal.
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And, blowing it a month into it is to think long-term develop
9:48
a personal mission statement.
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And I encourage everyone that doesn't have a personal mission statement to write one.
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we see corporate mission statements.
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But a personal mission statement is something that's personal to you.
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It's like a personal constitution, and it can be long and short.
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It could be a poem, it could be a collage, it could be a vision board.
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People do this in so many different ways, but it gives more of a long-term
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perspective of what you're trying to accomplish, what your life is
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about, what's important to you.
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And we love to use the analogy of imagine your 80th birthday.
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are having a big birthday party.
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Who would you like to be at the table And what would you like them to say about you?
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So imagine family, friends, colleagues, and imagine that birthday
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And what the things that you would like them to say about you And
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then live your life accordingly.
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Begin with the end in mind.
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And.
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thinking more long-term and practicing this, habit too, and thinking about
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relationships And the quality of your relationships is, I think a better and
10:47
a different approach, than goal setting.
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David Friedman, BS: Yeah, that's so true.
10:50
When, people tell me they're making a New Year's resolution, I say drop the
10:54
re focus on a solution, not resolution.
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'cause re means what?
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Repeat.
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Revs, redo, reverse, same old, same old resolution.
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It keeps you looking backward instead of moving forward.
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I believe the chief forward Manintim, we really gotta take our eyes off the rear
11:09
view mirror and focus on the road ahead.
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Like you said, baby steps.
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It's not about next week I'll be this, basically a, game plan.
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I think one of our biggest destroyers of joy and productivity is routine, you know?
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Staying stuck in the same old hamster wheel day after day.
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For someone who feels trapped in this cycle, which habit should they
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start with to create new purpose?
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Manintim.
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Sean Covey: I get asked that question all the time is, what
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is the most important habit?
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I think the most important habit is a one you're having the most
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difficult time living right now.
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And just quickly, Dr.
11:38
Friedman that, I mean the habits in 60 seconds.
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Here are the habits.
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The first three deal with you getting your own act together.
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Habit one, be proactive means take charge of your life.
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Stop being a victim.
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Have it to begin with, the end in mind.
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Have a vision, have a blueprint for where you wanna go with your life.
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Habit three, put first things first.
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Make sure that the most important things of your life get the
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time and attention they need.
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That's, we call that the private victory.
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victory over self.
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And then we have the public victory getting along with other people.
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Habit four is think win win.
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idea that it's mutual benefit.
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I care about me, I care about you.
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I want us both to win.
12:14
How about five?
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Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
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Empathy.
12:18
The key to influence is to first be influence, is to listen.
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And then habit six is synergize.
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It's the idea of, it's like geese flying south of the
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winter, we're better together.
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And then finally, habit seven is called sharpen the saw.
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Never be too busy living to take time to sharpen your saw.
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Body, heart, mind, and spirit balance.
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So if you look at those, if you get stuck, go to the habit.
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You're having the most difficult time living.
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I find for a lot of people it's either habit one or habit seven,
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and, habit seven is, sharpen the saw.
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It's the idea that you have a body, a heart, and a mind, and a spirit,
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and they all need to be nurtured.
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your body, it's nutrition, it's exercise, your heart, it's relationships, your mind.
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continuing to read and to study and to learn and to grow.
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A lot of people stop reading after they graduate, from
13:08
college or from high school.
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And then, your spirit is what motivates you, what inspires
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you, what helps you to dig deep.
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And so I think, that's a great place to start is I call it
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the daily private victory.
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Where every day I find that I can have a successful day if
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I have a successful morning.
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And so I usually will get up early.
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I'll exercise, I'll do some planning for the day, I'll steatotic I
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get my mind right And what I wanna accomplish for the day.
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And it's, it only takes like an hour, but it kind of wins the day for me.
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Right?
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And so I find that some of these routines, if you're getting stuck,
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focus on the habit you're having the most difficult time living or.
13:46
If you're not quite sure where to start, try to sharpen your saw.
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David Friedman, BS: I like that.
13:49
I know there's so much research.
13:51
People with a strong sense of purpose actually live longer and healthier.
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How do the principles that you teach, not just for success, but for overall
13:59
wellbeing, can help us stay on purpose?
14:02
Sean Covey: Well, I think that, all the research shows that the quality of your
14:06
happiness and of your life, a lot of times is tied directly to your relationships,
14:10
the quality of your relationships.
14:12
The Seven Habits is all about, building great relationships.
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And it, basically says it's an inside out process if you wanna
14:19
have a stronger relationship with your spouse, with your partner.
14:24
With your colleague, with your teenage daughter, start with yourself.
14:28
Win a private victory.
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Use your conscience, your self-awareness, your imagination,
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all the tools that you have in habit one, to begin with the end in mind.
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What do you want to achieve in this relationship?
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And you've gotta kind of get yourself right, first, And then
14:44
that will give you the, power.
14:46
It'll give you the maturity.
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do well with other people.
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And so I remember my son one time, I was a football player in, college
14:54
as was mentioned, and my son, I trained him to be a great football
14:57
player and he was really good.
15:00
And then, I trained him for years and, was his coach and he was a
15:03
quarterback like me and he was so good.
15:06
And then he told me he didn't wanna play football in eighth grade and
15:09
I was just devastated because his.
15:11
I found out it was kind of about me more than it was him, right?
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And I didn't listen to him and I kept saying, you gotta play, you gotta play.
15:18
And then one day I realized I wasn't listening and I took
15:21
some time to listen to him.
15:22
And I found out that, what's going on?
15:24
He goes, well, dad, last year didn't you notice I got killed.
15:27
I'm so much smaller than all the other players.
15:28
And you were big when you were my age.
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And you don't know what it's like to be small.
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I just don't wanna play anymore.
15:35
And I finally understood what he was saying, and I listened
15:37
to him and I had empathy.
15:39
And he said, after I finally understood what he was saying, he
15:44
said, dad, what do you want me to do?
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And I, I had prepared myself, I had wanna a private victory beforehand
15:50
because I, said to myself, am I raising a boy or a quarterback here?
15:54
so I listened.
15:55
And I said, I don't know but I want you to know I love you either way,
15:58
so go ahead and do what you wanna do.
15:59
He came back to me later and said, I wanna play football.
16:01
I'll get killed.
16:02
But so what?
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And, that was a pivotal time in our relationship because I took the time to
16:07
listen, to seek first, to understand.
16:09
It really bonded us.
16:10
he never ended up having a great career in football, but I didn't care.
16:13
But I had to win a private victory first and decide.
16:16
What I was trying to do, and have the self-awareness to realize that
16:19
I don't want him to live my dreams, he needs to live his own dreams.
16:23
And so you can see the sequence there, right?
16:25
It, starts with yourself.
16:27
And if you're having a relationship problem right now, I encourage you to go
16:31
back to the foundational habits of being proactive and, what's my And in mind?
16:37
What am I trying to accomplish?
16:38
What's important to me?
16:40
And trying to get yourself right first.
16:42
You don't have to be perfect, of course, but you do need to win a private
16:45
victory and get control of your own life to some degree before you have the
16:48
maturity to work well with other people.
16:51
And oftentimes, people start at the relationship level to try to fix a
16:54
relationship problem when they really need to start at the personal level.
16:57
David Friedman, BS: Well said.
16:58
I know there's something you said once that was very profound.
17:00
You said, life is a mission, not a career.
17:03
a career.
17:03
Ask what's in it for me?
17:05
And a mission asks, how can I make a difference?
17:08
share how can people make that shift from career mindset to a, mission mindset?
17:12
'cause that's important.
17:13
Sean Covey: Yes, I think that.
17:15
It's all about, getting deep into what's important to you.
17:18
That's why I think a personal mission statement can be such an important thing.
17:23
so for me, I wrote a personal mission many years ago and refined it many times.
17:27
I've got it down to one sentence, but it has a lot to do with, my father started.
17:32
This work, on teaching people principle centered leadership.
17:36
He called it teaching them the seven habits.
17:39
My mission is about furthering that work around the world,
17:42
and it drives me every day.
17:44
influences my decisions And so forth.
17:47
And so I think that, finding purpose is all about spending time with yourself.
17:53
In deep contemplation.
17:55
So remember, we all have, human beings, we have four endowments, four
18:00
human gifts that animals don't have.
18:02
Neither does ai, and a conscience, an imagination, independent will
18:08
as free choice and self-awareness.
18:11
these are powerful and, tapping into those is so important.
18:15
And that's where I think you find purpose is.
18:18
So think about, habit eight.
18:20
We call find your voice.
18:22
And it's the idea of what's the overlap of what you love to do, what you're
18:27
good at, what the world needs And what life is asking of you, your conscience.
18:33
It's like, what can I do to make a difference?
18:34
Right?
18:35
That's kind of your voice and, that's a great thing to pursue is, to find
18:38
your voice and use those, skills.
18:40
Use your imagination.
18:41
Use those tools.
18:42
Imagination, conscience.
18:44
A lot of times people might ask the question, what is, what
18:47
can I do to make a difference?
18:48
What is life asking of me?
18:50
And they might feel things and sense things inside internally that will really.
18:56
drive them to find a purpose.
18:58
And you can, even if you don't like your job, I mean, you can
19:01
always change your job, right?
19:02
But sometimes it's not practical.
19:04
You can find a rich life outside of your work I've seen people
19:09
become like, I'm gonna be the, person that gathers the family.
19:13
All right.
19:13
That's what my wife does with her family.
19:15
She's the gatherer.
19:17
She gets people together, she gets some talking, she gets the group
19:19
texts going, and that's become a real strong life purpose and,
19:23
such a meaningful thing for her.
19:25
but there's so many things we can tap into, deepen our conscience and our
19:29
imagination and our self-awareness.
19:31
That can really give us purpose.
19:32
But so often we're just living on the surface, right?
19:34
We're just living on our phones And we don't take the time to properly
19:39
build a blueprint for our lives.
19:41
David Friedman, BS: That's so true.
19:42
I know.
19:42
Looking ahead, what keeps you up at night about the next generation
19:45
And what gives you the most hope?
19:47
Sean Covey: I'm coaching a, basketball team right now, so
19:49
working with a lot of kids.
19:51
I'd say this, generally speaking, I'm very hopeful about the future and about kids.
19:56
I think it's, it is the greatest time to live ever seriously, And we have
19:59
tons of challenges especially with managing technology and, contention and
20:06
a lot of challenges across the world.
20:07
But at the same time, it's a wonderful time to live because of, so much
20:11
freedom, relatively speaking, so much wealth, so much opportunity.
20:15
the ability to influence people across the world, in so many different ways.
20:20
I look at these kids today, they're really smart.
20:23
and I feel like they're deeper into purpose than previous generations.
20:28
I look at my son and his friends and I, can see their ambition
20:33
for making a difference.
20:34
And we just have to balance that with some of the struggles.
20:37
But I'm just very hopeful in my work with schools.
20:40
there are lots of challenges in education, chronic absenteeism.
20:44
You've got mental wellness issues, you've got, academic achievement has
20:48
been dropping in the US since COVID.
20:51
And I travel across the world again, we have this Leader in Me program that
20:55
teaches the seven habits and other life skills to students across the world.
20:59
And I'm amazed at how well these schools do when they apply these principles.
21:04
their academic achievement increases they do better on all their, tests and
21:08
their categories that they're looking at.
21:11
And I'm amazed at how these schools can apply these and, turn around a school.
21:15
It doesn't matter where it's at.
21:17
I've, I went to Pakistan recently.
21:18
I've been in the Bronx, been to Brazil.
21:22
But, there are amazing educators all over the world that care deeply.
21:27
I think they're doing the most important work that we have in the
21:30
world, which is developing students to be college, career and life ready.
21:35
And so I'm very encouraged by so much of our education system and some of
21:40
the things that are happening there.
21:42
David Friedman, BS: Yeah, so true.
21:43
I know your father's work was named, as I mentioned.
21:45
The intro number one most influential business book of the 20th century.
21:50
Wow.
21:50
What a title.
21:51
What was it like having him as a mentor living under the same roof?
21:55
Sean Covey: Well, he obviously was a really good dad.
21:58
and I had a good mom too, and I was really lucky 'cause a
22:00
lot of people don't Have that.
22:02
And so I, understand and I appreciate that.
22:04
he was also human, when he was younger.
22:06
I'm one of nine kids, so you can imagine kind of the chaos in our home.
22:11
And so we had, he wasn't perfect and he had kind of a temper when he was younger.
22:15
He'd like yell at you to get in the car, and sometimes we'd
22:17
say, Hey, dad's in the mood.
22:18
Watch out.
22:20
He wasn't abusive or anything, but he had kind of a temper and I watched how
22:24
he kind of, he overcame that over time.
22:27
Right.
22:27
I think one of the great lessons I learned from my dad and from my
22:30
mom was the idea of starting again.
22:33
and new beginnings and fresh starts, And so.
22:36
we would set goals as a family ' we'd have a family meeting once a week and
22:40
we'd have goals and we'd always blow it and dad would always come and say, okay
22:44
kids, we didn't do very well on that.
22:45
And I didn't myself, but we're gonna start again and here's a new idea.
22:49
And we developed a family mission statement, when we were kids.
22:52
And at first my dad said, Hey kids, we're gonna develop a family mission state.
22:55
And we said, that's stupid.
22:58
And we kind of complained, but after we worked on it for a few months,
23:02
off and on, And we came up with a mission statement that basically said
23:06
this, our home is gonna be a place of peace, happiness, safety and fun,
23:11
where we can grow and serve the world.
23:14
And, it meant a lot, you know, it was kind of corny as a, teenager when
23:17
this was done, but it, kind of said, This is what our family's about and
23:21
we're, And we, there's a togetherness about us And we wanna have fun.
23:25
And also do good things.
23:28
So I, grew up with this idea of always, if you make a mistake, start again.
23:32
Keep trying.
23:33
what life's all about.
23:34
And it's okay.
23:36
And I love the metaphor of the flight of an aircraft.
23:39
If you think about it, an airplane will take off from New York to go to
23:42
London, and it will leave on time, and it will arrive on time most of the time.
23:47
And during the course of the flight.
23:50
There will be hundreds of little flight adjustments based upon the turbulence
23:54
And the wind and whatever the pilots are constantly, or the autopilot system is
23:59
constantly making little adjustments, right, so they can arrive on time.
24:04
And the same way in life.
24:05
That's what families are like.
24:06
That's what people are like, is you've gotta make constant
24:09
adjustments to how you're doing all the time, and that's okay.
24:12
And that's, The greatest lesson I think my parents and my father
24:15
taught me is just, make a mistake.
24:17
Forget it.
24:18
Get over it.
24:18
Try again.
24:20
Reset.
24:21
And that's okay.
24:22
And that's what life's about.
24:23
David Friedman, BS: I love that.
24:24
Well said with nine kids.
24:26
Uh, you know, that's a baseball team.
24:27
I'm surprised you found an interest in football.
24:29
You guys should have just
24:29
Sean Covey: I know.
24:31
David Friedman, BS: jumped on.
24:32
the league there.
24:32
That's great.
24:33
it's such pleasure having you on the Showtime flew by and, I wish you all
24:36
the best and, I'd love your story.
24:38
Uh, to learn more about Sean Covey, go to franklin covey.com
24:43
and check out all his amazing books And the plethora of resources
24:46
available and everything from articles, workshops, audios, and videos.
24:51
And you can follow Sean on Facebook and Instagram at Franklin Covey.
24:55
You can follow me on Facebook.
24:57
At Dr.
24:58
David Friedman on Instagram, I'm at Dr.
25:00
D Friedman.
25:01
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