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Should you pay for your partners kid? · She's On The Money

0:00
Speaker 1: She's on the Money.
0:02
Speaker 2: She's on the Money.
0:23
Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
0:26
Speaker 1: for millennials who want financial freedom. In Australia, ten percent
0:31
Speaker 1: of families uplended or step families, and as the rate
0:34
Speaker 1: of divorce continues to climb, it follows that that percentage
0:38
Speaker 1: will only increase. Is that it only ten percent? Yeah?
0:42
Speaker 1: I was shocked by that. Did you think it would
0:45
Speaker 1: be more?
0:45
Speaker 3: I definitely thought it was going to be more than
0:47
Speaker 3: ten percent, definitely.
0:49
Speaker 1: So that was data from the twenty sixteen census, so
0:54
Speaker 1: pretty recent, I suppose. Yeah, I was surprised. I'll let
0:58
Speaker 1: you get on with your intro. Sorry about my professional
1:02
Speaker 1: speaking voice. Well, there is plenty to navigate when it
1:05
Speaker 1: comes to perfecting new family dynamics. What's the best way
1:09
Speaker 1: to manage money in blended families? Specifically if your partner
1:12
Speaker 1: has a child but you don't. My name is Georgia King,
1:17
Speaker 1: and joining me as always is financial advisor Victoria Divine Fee.
1:21
Speaker 1: But you didn't know why I was hearing? Yeah, surprise,
1:23
Speaker 1: it wasn't just J on the show. I imagine you
1:26
Speaker 1: would be working with clients all the time from blended families.
1:31
Speaker 1: How have you seen people managing their money if that
1:34
Speaker 1: is their family dynamic.
1:35
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, everybody is so different, Gin know what,
1:38
Speaker 3: It really depends on your financial situation and your ability
1:42
Speaker 3: to support other people. And there's no one size fits
1:46
Speaker 3: all approach when it comes to managing money with a
1:50
Speaker 3: person who has a child from a former relationship. I
1:53
Speaker 3: don't think that there is a right or a wrong.
1:55
Speaker 1: And you and I.
1:56
Speaker 3: Were talking about this episode before we hit record, and
1:58
Speaker 3: I said to you, I feel like this is more
2:00
Speaker 3: of a conversation episode, like we want to open up
2:04
Speaker 3: the topic of well, how do you have that conversation
2:07
Speaker 3: and at what point do you have that conversation Because
2:10
Speaker 3: it's becoming increasingly prevalent for people to you know, divorce early,
2:14
Speaker 3: which I think they should if they're not in the
2:16
Speaker 3: right relationship, but it's also very common for you know,
2:19
Speaker 3: single mums to have kids and want to get into
2:23
Speaker 3: another relationship. But also how do you bring that up
2:25
Speaker 3: with your partner, Like from the flip side, like what
2:29
Speaker 3: if you have a kid, Like are you expecting this
2:31
Speaker 3: person to financially provide for your child? And at what
2:34
Speaker 3: point does that happen and why would you have that
2:37
Speaker 3: expectation and how does that work. So Gee, I feel
2:40
Speaker 3: like it's going to be a bit of an opinion
2:41
Speaker 3: episode from us, because some people do want to keep
2:44
Speaker 3: their finances completely separate so that they don't have any confusion.
2:47
Speaker 3: And the person who has a child is going to
2:49
Speaker 3: work with the parent of that child to pay for
2:52
Speaker 3: their expenses, and if there's no ex they might painful
2:55
Speaker 3: for that child's expenses, but then obviously that's going to
2:58
Speaker 3: significantly impact their relationship with money in a way, which
3:02
Speaker 3: might mean that they don't have the financial freedom that
3:05
Speaker 3: the person who doesn't have a child or doesn't have
3:07
Speaker 3: that financial burden does. Conversely, G, there are families where
3:11
Speaker 3: both couples contribute equally to child expenses, and some believe
3:15
Speaker 3: that that creates a better family dynamic. It's very different
3:19
Speaker 3: for very different situations. But from my conservative financial advisorcy
3:23
Speaker 3: over here, G is really important to highlight is that
3:26
Speaker 3: in most cases, there is absolutely no legal obligation for
3:30
Speaker 3: a step parent to pay for or provide for a
3:32
Speaker 3: child or pay any child support if you later separate
3:36
Speaker 3: from the parent of that child. There are obviously going
3:39
Speaker 3: to be some exceptions to this, and I won't go
3:41
Speaker 3: through them because they are few and far between. But
3:44
Speaker 3: it's a really personal situation and there's no right or wrong.
3:48
Speaker 3: But I feel like this is going to be a
3:49
Speaker 3: really interesting episode. Whether you have kids or not, or
3:52
Speaker 3: you're in this position, or you might not ever think you'll.
3:55
Speaker 1: Find yourself in this position, because I.
3:57
Speaker 3: Think that a lot of people listening are going to
3:58
Speaker 3: be like THEE I'm not a parent, I don't have
4:01
Speaker 3: a kid, and I'm not dating someone with a kid.
4:03
Speaker 3: What are you talking about? But you could find yourself
4:05
Speaker 3: in this position in the future. Or conversely, g you
4:08
Speaker 3: might have a friend who finds themselves in this position.
4:11
Speaker 3: They're like, oh my god, I don't know what to do,
4:13
Speaker 3: and you'll be like, well, actually sit down, my friend,
4:16
Speaker 3: I have a whole heap of information for you.
4:18
Speaker 1: Yeah. It's not something we've ever really discussed, and I've
4:21
Speaker 1: definitely never really thought about. So I am quite interested
4:24
Speaker 1: in today's episode. Could a couple potentially divide things along
4:31
Speaker 1: percentage lines? I remember when we did our Equity in
4:35
Speaker 1: Relationships episode, that was something that was thrown up in
4:38
Speaker 1: the Facebook group and we just didn't have time to
4:40
Speaker 1: cover it, Like what do you do if you have
4:43
Speaker 1: a child, but your partner doesn't. How do you split
4:46
Speaker 1: money in that sense? Could you do it on a
4:48
Speaker 1: percentage based kind of scale?
4:51
Speaker 3: Totally, you absolutely could do it on a percentage based scale.
4:55
Speaker 3: And if we distill all of this down g to
4:58
Speaker 3: just being really pragmatic about it.
5:00
Speaker 1: If you have a child, your expenses are.
5:02
Speaker 3: Going to be increased. You're going to be paying more
5:04
Speaker 3: for groceries, You're going to be paying more on electricity,
5:07
Speaker 3: on water because turns out kids need bar This wild
5:11
Speaker 3: but true. You would in a lot of circumstances have
5:14
Speaker 3: increased rent or housing costs because that child usually or
5:18
Speaker 3: sometimes might have their own room. And I feel like
5:21
Speaker 3: none of this is taken into consideration in a relationship,
5:25
Speaker 3: Like you might just be fifty to fifty with your
5:26
Speaker 3: partner and that's totally okay, But it can also be
5:30
Speaker 3: a bit of a friction point in relationships where one
5:33
Speaker 3: person might not have the kid and they're like, I
5:34
Speaker 3: don't understand why I'm fifty to fifty when they have
5:37
Speaker 3: this room at our house and they increase our grocery
5:41
Speaker 3: bill when they're here.
5:42
Speaker 1: And as we've said so many times.
5:44
Speaker 3: It is very different for very different people. But I
5:47
Speaker 3: really want to empower you guys to have this conversation
5:49
Speaker 3: and make sure you're comfortable, because, as we know, money
5:53
Speaker 3: is the number one thing people argue about in relationships,
5:56
Speaker 3: and it shouldn't be that way. Like money is a tool,
6:00
Speaker 3: we can allocate it to purchasing goods or services, and
6:03
Speaker 3: we can actually empower ourselves through money. And if we
6:06
Speaker 3: can be more open and honest about money and how
6:08
Speaker 3: it works and how it impacts us, I think that
6:11
Speaker 3: we can be more empowered in general.
6:12
Speaker 1: So this is I guess what this conversation is about.
6:15
Speaker 1: So if you have a child, Bee, and you've had
6:19
Speaker 1: the conversation and your partner is like, no, I don't
6:23
Speaker 1: believe I need to pay any of those that child's expenses.
6:27
Speaker 1: I'm not interested. Does that raise red flags for you
6:31
Speaker 1: or is that perfectly acceptable?
6:33
Speaker 3: I think it is perfectly acceptable right from my perspective.
6:36
Speaker 3: And I also think it is very dependent on the relationship,
6:40
Speaker 3: like did you get with that person recently? Like it
6:43
Speaker 3: would set off massive alarm bells if somebody like you
6:46
Speaker 3: got in a relationship gee with somebody and they had
6:49
Speaker 3: a kid and they're like, oh, been together for six months? Yeah,
6:52
Speaker 3: you should be covering the cost of my child, Like, no,
6:55
Speaker 3: absolutely not. It does depend on how long that relationship
6:59
Speaker 3: has existed as well well, But I don't think it
7:00
Speaker 3: should set off alarm bells, especially if they don't want
7:03
Speaker 3: to pay for a child that's not theirs, Like I
7:05
Speaker 3: don't believe they should have to. And if a partner
7:08
Speaker 3: doesn't want to pay for your child, or if you
7:10
Speaker 3: don't want to pay for theirs, that doesn't mean that
7:13
Speaker 3: you don't love that child. It doesn't mean that you
7:15
Speaker 3: don't feel a connection with them or have a great
7:18
Speaker 3: relationship with them. No one should be putting pressure on
7:20
Speaker 3: you or themselves just to pay for something when they
7:23
Speaker 3: don't think that they should. I feel like we should
7:25
Speaker 3: be having this conversation and saying, well, at what point
7:28
Speaker 3: does that happen? I mean, it might be a very
7:30
Speaker 3: different situation if you've been in a relationship with someone
7:34
Speaker 3: for the last ten years and you've got a child
7:36
Speaker 3: who's thirteen or fourteen, and yeah, maybe some expenses come
7:40
Speaker 3: up at hoc because you're not with them all the
7:42
Speaker 3: time and they're with their step parent, and it might
7:44
Speaker 3: become a friction point if they're like, no, you can't
7:46
Speaker 3: have that because your mum's not here to pay for it. Like,
7:48
Speaker 3: I feel like that is a deeper issue than someone saying, well, gee,
7:52
Speaker 3: that's your kid, you should be paying for it. And
7:54
Speaker 3: I think we should be really aware of that. It's
7:56
Speaker 3: a privilege to have somebody else financially contribute to a
8:00
Speaker 3: financial obligation that you have. There's not one size fits all,
8:03
Speaker 3: but I guess the alarm bell for me would be
8:05
Speaker 3: bubbling up if they're completely unwilling to talk to you
8:08
Speaker 3: or hear you out, or see your side of the
8:10
Speaker 3: story and support you if that's actually something you desperately need.
8:14
Speaker 3: And conversely, if they are the one with the child
8:16
Speaker 3: and there being too intense that you contribute when you've
8:20
Speaker 3: made it quite clear that you don't want to or
8:22
Speaker 3: you're not in the position to do so, then I
8:25
Speaker 3: guess that would then raise some red flags for me.
8:27
Speaker 3: But yeah, I feel like you shouldn't have the obligation,
8:30
Speaker 3: but we should have the conversation at some point, especially
8:33
Speaker 3: if you are in a serious, committed relationship with someone with.
8:36
Speaker 1: The child, yeah for sure, and also like they may
8:39
Speaker 1: have multiple children that could get quite spent on exactly.
8:43
Speaker 3: But then also on the flip side, you know, let's
8:46
Speaker 3: say you get with someone who has a far higher
8:49
Speaker 3: income than you, and you are a sink or you
8:52
Speaker 3: were a single mum, and you've got two young kids
8:54
Speaker 3: and you're putting them through school, and you're trying to
8:56
Speaker 3: keep up with the joneses in a way because your
8:58
Speaker 3: partner wants to go on holiday and do all these
9:01
Speaker 3: fancy things with you and your kids, but doesn't want
9:03
Speaker 3: to contribute to your kids, and it's putting significant financial
9:06
Speaker 3: pressure on you. That's when I would be having the
9:09
Speaker 3: conversation around, Okay, these are your values as well, like
9:12
Speaker 3: there needs to be some kind of give. We need
9:15
Speaker 3: to talk about how that can still happen without putting
9:18
Speaker 3: me under such significant financial stress.
9:21
Speaker 1: So I think that there is a line. It's not
9:23
Speaker 1: just cut and dry.
9:25
Speaker 3: There's not a oh, I don't want to pay for
9:27
Speaker 3: your kids full stop, end of story, but there is
9:30
Speaker 3: a lifestyle maintenance perspective. I guess to overlay over this,
9:33
Speaker 3: and it's like, well, George, if you're really rich and
9:36
Speaker 3: we're in a relationship, no, I don't expect you to
9:39
Speaker 3: pay my way for my kids. But if you expect
9:42
Speaker 3: me to be able to come to the table and
9:44
Speaker 3: keep up with your lifestyle and put the same amount
9:47
Speaker 3: of money on the table when it comes to experiences,
9:50
Speaker 3: and that's just not viable. We really need to be
9:52
Speaker 3: having that conversation about you know, what are the obligations,
9:56
Speaker 3: how does this work? How do we negotiate this so
9:59
Speaker 3: that one everybody's comfortable, but to nobody's being put in
10:03
Speaker 3: a worse off position because of the decisions being made
10:06
Speaker 3: all the experiences you want to have as a couple.
10:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, brilliant, And we will be talking about how to
10:10
Speaker 1: broach that conversation and when the right time to have
10:12
Speaker 1: it is after the breakik, Yes, a little forward plug
10:17
Speaker 1: Before the show, I was doing some quite strange reading,
10:22
Speaker 1: I must admit, on like Reddit and Cora, like all
10:25
Speaker 1: of these strength.
10:26
Speaker 3: Reddits, yes, spicy part of the Internet for you to
10:29
Speaker 3: be doing research for.
10:30
Speaker 1: She's on the Money Georgia Keene. Okay, So in researching
10:33
Speaker 1: this topic, there's like no information beyond these It's not
10:37
Speaker 1: a thing. It's not a thing we talk about.
10:39
Speaker 3: It's just like you and I are being like what
10:41
Speaker 3: happens and our community being like what happens.
10:45
Speaker 1: So all of the information though, exists within these forums.
10:51
Speaker 1: And I have to tell you I think it's just
10:54
Speaker 1: people feeling really confident behind a computer screen and like
10:57
Speaker 1: on their keys, very familiar with fe but like they
11:03
Speaker 1: were pretty adamant, quite consistently that as a step parent
11:08
Speaker 1: you have no obligation to pay anything for your partner's child. Like,
11:12
Speaker 1: absolutely not, not in a million years would I be
11:15
Speaker 1: doing that. Rah rah rah, I've been burned. And then
11:18
Speaker 1: so it went on I'll link it to you after
11:20
Speaker 1: the show. Oh my gosh, I read all of that.
11:25
Speaker 3: So recently, George, I had an article go up which
11:28
Speaker 3: was very exciting in the Sydney Morning Herald and the
11:30
Speaker 3: Herald Sun here in Victoria, and it was about how
11:34
Speaker 3: I believe we should have complete pay transparency and we
11:36
Speaker 3: should be talking about our salaries with our colleagues and
11:40
Speaker 3: with our friends so that we can have more open,
11:42
Speaker 3: honest conversations and really understand our value. And I found
11:46
Speaker 3: myself on ABC Radio the other afternoon, which was super
11:50
Speaker 3: fun and I'm super grateful for these opportunities, but it
11:53
Speaker 3: was hilarious because it's obviously not the type of person
11:57
Speaker 3: that is going to be like, oh my gosh, totally,
11:59
Speaker 3: we should be open, I'm honest about our salaries.
12:01
Speaker 1: So I was talking to.
12:02
Speaker 3: RAF on the radio about this, and he's like, you know,
12:04
Speaker 3: why do you think you should be talking about salaries
12:07
Speaker 3: and all of this other stuff.
12:08
Speaker 1: And they obviously have.
12:09
Speaker 3: Like a text hotline open at the same time, and
12:14
Speaker 3: the messages that were coming through about these people like
12:17
Speaker 3: nobody deserves to know about my pay.
12:20
Speaker 1: Mind your own beeswax.
12:21
Speaker 3: Br uh, And I was like, oh my god, Like
12:25
Speaker 3: I'm trying to empower you, Like I'm not trying to
12:27
Speaker 3: be pervy and make you disclose something if you're not
12:30
Speaker 3: comfortable too, like George, you don't owe anybody in explanation.
12:33
Speaker 3: If you don't want to tell someone what you earn, don't.
12:36
Speaker 3: But I want you to be more comfortable having conversations
12:39
Speaker 3: about pay because that person who wrote in and was like.
12:42
Speaker 1: None of your bees wax, like mind your own.
12:44
Speaker 3: Business, and like I think he called me a nosy
12:46
Speaker 3: millennial or something, and I was.
12:48
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, that's me, girl, that's me.
12:50
Speaker 3: But I feel like we should be having these conversations
12:53
Speaker 3: because he could be earning significantly less than his colleagues
12:57
Speaker 3: and just having the conversation could have put him in
12:59
Speaker 3: a significant better position. But then conversely, like if he
13:02
Speaker 3: was in a really good position. It could empower somebody
13:06
Speaker 3: at his workplace to ask for a raise or be
13:09
Speaker 3: put in a more powerful position that they deserve to
13:11
Speaker 3: be in. So I don't think that there is any debt.
13:15
Speaker 3: And I mean, obviously this is a very topical conversation,
13:18
Speaker 3: but I don't believe that our salaries and pays should
13:21
Speaker 3: be something that we.
13:22
Speaker 1: Don't talk about.
13:23
Speaker 3: So when it comes to, you know, talking about taking
13:26
Speaker 3: on the cost of a child, like we should be
13:29
Speaker 3: talking with our partner about the income we derive and
13:31
Speaker 3: how that works. But it is funny how spicy people
13:34
Speaker 3: get on the internet and how vocal they get, and
13:37
Speaker 3: it's interesting to see how those conversations are being taken
13:40
Speaker 3: outside of the She's on the money community. I feel like, Gee,
13:44
Speaker 3: I live in a bubble of this gorgeous group of
13:48
Speaker 3: supportive people who want the best for each other and
13:52
Speaker 3: want to have these deep money conversations and want to
13:55
Speaker 3: be a part of the journey, and they want other
13:57
Speaker 3: people to succeed. And they're all of this opinion that
14:00
Speaker 3: arising tide lift soul ships, and I'm so.
14:03
Speaker 1: Proud of them.
14:04
Speaker 3: But it's funny when you find yourself on ABC Radio
14:07
Speaker 3: and someone's like.
14:09
Speaker 1: Mind your own business, and they're like, oh, I'm not
14:11
Speaker 1: used to that.
14:12
Speaker 3: Or I find myself on the wrong side of TikTok
14:14
Speaker 3: when I create content on there, and.
14:16
Speaker 1: I, oh, I wish I wasn't here. Okay, it' see
14:18
Speaker 1: you out in the wild. It's me out in the
14:20
Speaker 1: wh I don't want to be in the wild. I
14:22
Speaker 1: want to come back to my community. So I guess
14:25
Speaker 1: your point in telling that story was that, like, people
14:28
Speaker 1: have a lot of opinions.
14:29
Speaker 3: They've got afraid of opinions, gee, and they're not afraid
14:32
Speaker 3: to share them, but they never seem to share them
14:35
Speaker 3: in person.
14:36
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, that's that's the thing. People warriors on Reddit.
14:40
Speaker 3: Keyboard warriors, or text message warriors on ABC radio.
14:45
Speaker 1: Also the comment section of Daily Mail.
14:47
Speaker 3: Articles about us wildly spicy.
14:51
Speaker 1: If you read the Daily Mail, then the Daily Mail
14:55
Speaker 1: they've they've featured us a fair a few times. So
14:57
Speaker 1: I would say they're.
14:58
Speaker 3: A legitimate source of content, and I use them frequently
15:01
Speaker 3: for my research.
15:02
Speaker 1: I'm kidding, I don't hope not. Just Before we move
15:07
Speaker 1: on from that radio chat, Harper's dad last Friday night
15:11
Speaker 1: was like, George, I heard your friend she's on the
15:14
Speaker 1: money on the radio, and I was like, oh, it
15:17
Speaker 1: was me. Oh my gosh, Victoria.
15:21
Speaker 3: So Harper's dad's maybe he was the one texting telling
15:25
Speaker 3: me to mind my own beef.
15:26
Speaker 1: Classic Phil the biggest angel in the world. Shout out
15:31
Speaker 1: to Phil. Shout out to Phil if you're listening. Okay, So, basically,
15:35
Speaker 1: would you say that you do or don't agree with
15:38
Speaker 1: those Reddit people who said that absolutely, in no way
15:43
Speaker 1: should you be providing anything if you are the step parent.
15:46
Speaker 1: I'm assuming you don't agree.
15:48
Speaker 3: No, I don't agree with that, And it's not because
15:50
Speaker 3: I don't agree with the sentiment of not paying for kids.
15:52
Speaker 3: If that's what you want to do and that works
15:54
Speaker 3: for your situation, fantastic, But it's not black and white,
15:57
Speaker 3: and I don't want to judge anyone's decision on this
15:59
Speaker 3: space because I I don't know their personal situations.
16:01
Speaker 1: What I want, though.
16:03
Speaker 3: Is for you to be having open, honest conversations about
16:05
Speaker 3: what contribution actually looks like and what your expectations of
16:08
Speaker 3: your partner is and how that works. Like, we're not
16:11
Speaker 3: here going you should be paying for your partner's kids,
16:14
Speaker 3: But what we're saying is you should be having the conversation,
16:17
Speaker 3: and it's not something that is easy to bring up
16:20
Speaker 3: because it's a you know, it's a big piece of responsibility.
16:23
Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, like, your decision
16:25
Speaker 3: is yours alone, but I want you to be having open,
16:27
Speaker 3: honest conversations about money for sure.
16:30
Speaker 1: I think it also changes be depending on circumstance. So
16:33
Speaker 1: for example, if you start to date a widower who
16:37
Speaker 1: has like a two year old and you then get
16:40
Speaker 1: married and you raise that child as your own, compared
16:43
Speaker 1: to coming into a relationship where they have two seventeen
16:47
Speaker 1: year old twins, Like, that's a very different situation. Would
16:51
Speaker 1: you agree with that?
16:52
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would absolutely agree with that. Like as we
16:54
Speaker 3: said before, different situations call for different outcomes and there's
16:59
Speaker 3: no one size fits all approach, and it's yeah, it's
17:03
Speaker 3: very very hard, but it's something that we should just
17:06
Speaker 3: be open and honest about. And it's also, as I
17:08
Speaker 3: said before, tenure of the relationship. Like if you've just
17:11
Speaker 3: met a widower and they have a two year old
17:14
Speaker 3: and you're in a relationship with them, but you've only
17:16
Speaker 3: been dating them for six months, I would feel like
17:18
Speaker 3: the obligation's very different than if the intention is to
17:22
Speaker 3: move in together and build a life together, and you're
17:24
Speaker 3: taking over that deep parenting role and you really want
17:28
Speaker 3: to contribute. And I think something that we haven't touched
17:30
Speaker 3: on here, George yet, and I think the reason we
17:33
Speaker 3: haven't touched on it yet is because neither of us
17:36
Speaker 3: are parents, nor are we dating parents, is that parents
17:40
Speaker 3: are packaged deals.
17:42
Speaker 1: Like parents.
17:43
Speaker 3: And if you have a kid and you get in
17:46
Speaker 3: a relationship with somebody, like it's you and your kid
17:49
Speaker 3: and that person. It's not just you and that person
17:52
Speaker 3: in the relationship, like that kid is a part of
17:54
Speaker 3: the relationship, like they are a package deal at the
17:58
Speaker 3: end of the day. Like if I, you know, if
18:00
Speaker 3: Steve and I broke up and I was dating a
18:02
Speaker 3: guy with a kid, like that kid's part of that
18:04
Speaker 3: relationship and they need to be honored and respected and
18:08
Speaker 3: looked after. And if I'm choosing to get in a
18:11
Speaker 3: relationship with that person, I'm choosing their whole person, in
18:15
Speaker 3: their whole situation. I'm not choosing, you know, just them
18:18
Speaker 3: because I want to date them. But I didn't sign
18:20
Speaker 3: up for the kid, Like I'm quite opinionated on that.
18:23
Speaker 3: When you're signing up to be in a relationship with
18:26
Speaker 3: someone who has a child. You're signing up to that
18:28
Speaker 3: child being a part of that relationship, and finance has
18:31
Speaker 3: become a part of that conversation. Whether you contribute or
18:35
Speaker 3: not is a different story, and it means different things
18:37
Speaker 3: to different people. But I mean that child probably has
18:41
Speaker 3: another parent, or in most circumstances, that child is going
18:44
Speaker 3: to have another parent. They might be working and contributing,
18:47
Speaker 3: but you're now a part of that parenting relationship, whether
18:51
Speaker 3: you like it or not in a way. So I
18:53
Speaker 3: just feel like we need to be really respectful of that.
18:56
Speaker 3: And you know, you and I haven't brought it up
18:57
Speaker 3: earlier because we're just not in that position, but if
19:00
Speaker 3: we were, it's something that you need to consider. And
19:04
Speaker 3: you know, if you don't want to take responsibility for
19:07
Speaker 3: someone else's kid, this can sound like a really terrible.
19:10
Speaker 1: Thing to say.
19:11
Speaker 3: I would say, don't date people who have kids, Like,
19:15
Speaker 3: don't make that decision, because they're a package deal. You
19:18
Speaker 3: can't just pick up the kid and put it to
19:20
Speaker 3: the side and not make them a priority.
19:22
Speaker 1: Have you seen that show Love Me Feet?
19:24
Speaker 3: I don't believe so some junk I would watch.
19:29
Speaker 1: It's not junk. It's like they give me the breathe.
19:31
Speaker 1: So it's a high quality Aussie drama, I would say,
19:36
Speaker 1: based in Melbourne, and it makes Melbourne look so chic,
19:40
Speaker 1: which it is, but you know, it also runs a
19:42
Speaker 1: lot anyway. Basically, it's like it follows three different love
19:45
Speaker 1: stories within a family and it's beautiful. It's really well done.
19:49
Speaker 1: I would highly recommend to everyone listening love me.
19:51
Speaker 3: All right, it's on It's on my list. Where can
19:53
Speaker 3: I find it? It's on netflick ah, it.
19:56
Speaker 1: Might be SBS or ABC.
19:59
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I had so many good, glowing things to
20:01
Speaker 3: say about the demographics of ABC.
20:04
Speaker 1: No, that's so nasty of me. I adore the ABC.
20:07
Speaker 3: But yeah, Usually I don't find the type of content
20:10
Speaker 3: that I want to consume on there because I'm the
20:12
Speaker 3: type of person who watches trash, like actual trash, Like recently,
20:17
Speaker 3: I just finished Inventing Anna obsessed like, I want juicy trash.
20:22
Speaker 3: I don't want your smart, nice, gorgeous shows that you
20:26
Speaker 3: watch because you're.
20:27
Speaker 1: More intelligent than me. I'm watching Inventing Anna too. I've
20:32
Speaker 1: just googled it and it's on Binge. So I completely
20:34
Speaker 1: much write binge. Thank you, She's sorry, not sorry. The
20:38
Speaker 1: moral of this tangent is that one of the storylines
20:42
Speaker 1: is that this beautiful young woman falls in love with
20:46
Speaker 1: someone who has like an almost adult child. He's like fifteen.
20:50
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you what. I don't usually want to
20:52
Speaker 1: punch kids, but this one I want to have a
20:56
Speaker 1: bit of a biffo with. Ah. He was vile, and
20:59
Speaker 1: I can just imagine in a lot of those situations
21:01
Speaker 1: it would be like really really hard, and we shouldn't
21:04
Speaker 1: underestimate that, Like, it's not always going to be very
21:06
Speaker 1: brainy bunch spec you know. Yeah, No, toddler's a cute
21:10
Speaker 1: though they are. We'll take a toddler.
21:12
Speaker 3: We will take a toddler, but we negotiate the teenage ys.
21:16
Speaker 1: Yeah. Anyway, that was kind of a pointless little side step.
21:19
Speaker 1: But here we are. I highly recommend everyone watches Love
21:22
Speaker 1: Me on binge. I'm everyone's still listening. I reckon, we
21:25
Speaker 1: should actually go to a break. We'll collect ourselves and
21:28
Speaker 1: we'll see you on the other side. It certainly will
21:31
Speaker 1: straight back into it. V Lord, when would you say
21:35
Speaker 1: is the right time to be having conversations around kids
21:38
Speaker 1: and finances with your significant other? I feel like this
21:41
Speaker 1: is a really unproductive podcast, Like good topic, great content.
21:46
Speaker 1: But my opinion is.
21:47
Speaker 3: It is different for everybody once again, but it's going
21:52
Speaker 3: to change for every couple, right. Obviously, this isn't a
21:55
Speaker 3: conversation that I would super encourage you guys having on
21:58
Speaker 3: the first day, be like, hey, George, so's nice to
22:00
Speaker 3: meet you.
22:00
Speaker 1: So I have a kid, would you pay for them? Like,
22:03
Speaker 1: that's not what's going to happen.
22:05
Speaker 3: But I would encourage the ones it's clear that the
22:07
Speaker 3: relationship is getting quite serious and you're perhaps considering moving
22:11
Speaker 3: in together and will have shared expenses that you need
22:15
Speaker 3: to take into consideration, or maybe you're considering marrying the
22:18
Speaker 3: person if that child's going to live with you, It
22:21
Speaker 3: would just make sense to have a discussion around what
22:24
Speaker 3: the expectations around money are going to be moving forward
22:28
Speaker 3: and how that works. And you know, it's it's definitely
22:31
Speaker 3: not a first date conversation gee, And it's definitely not
22:34
Speaker 3: something that should be jumped into straight away or you
22:37
Speaker 3: should feel any kind of pressure to have that conversation immediately.
22:41
Speaker 3: I don't think anyone would actually expect that, and if
22:43
Speaker 3: they do, I feel like that might be a red flag.
22:46
Speaker 3: It just needs to be at a time that feels
22:48
Speaker 3: right for you and feels right for the relationship, like
22:51
Speaker 3: maybe it's starting to happen, then it's a good time
22:54
Speaker 3: to have that conversation. But I do think that it's
22:57
Speaker 3: important to just have the comfort to have that conversation.
23:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I guess it does make sense that if
23:04
Speaker 1: you are combining finances that you would do it at
23:07
Speaker 1: that time, right, Yeah, of course, yeah, Okay, In terms
23:10
Speaker 1: of actually broaching the conversation, how do we do that
23:14
Speaker 1: because we know money conversations can be very awkward.
23:17
Speaker 3: Money conversations are fickle and hard to have, and I
23:20
Speaker 3: obviously have lots of tips on how to have them,
23:23
Speaker 3: And the first tip is having it face to face,
23:25
Speaker 3: like probably don't text them the question should I be
23:28
Speaker 3: paying for your kid? Not going to work out as
23:31
Speaker 3: well as it could. And also have an idea of
23:34
Speaker 3: how you want that laid out first, like what do
23:37
Speaker 3: you want to say? How do you want to say it?
23:39
Speaker 3: So perhaps frame it so they're ready to have that
23:41
Speaker 3: conversation as well, So maybe in the morning, say hey, tonight,
23:44
Speaker 3: while we're having dinner, can we have a chat about
23:46
Speaker 3: family finances so that they're ready And I guess open
23:50
Speaker 3: to having that discussion. I don't think it is fair
23:53
Speaker 3: to just bring it on somebody when you haven't spoken
23:56
Speaker 3: openly and honestly about money before. The next thing I
23:59
Speaker 3: think is to be honest, like, just approach the situation
24:02
Speaker 3: with honesty. If you can't afford to contribute, then make
24:06
Speaker 3: that really clear.
24:07
Speaker 1: I think too.
24:08
Speaker 3: Often people get caught up in feeling bad or feeling
24:11
Speaker 3: guilty or you know, I know you really want to contribute,
24:15
Speaker 3: but if it's not within the scope of your financial circumstances,
24:19
Speaker 3: please don't take on that pressure because it's just going
24:21
Speaker 3: to add more pressure and down the line you're gonna
24:23
Speaker 3: end up having arguments over it, and it's just it's
24:26
Speaker 3: just not worth it. Like, just be honest from the
24:28
Speaker 3: get go, and then get really specific and set really
24:31
Speaker 3: clear expectations. If you're planning a holiday together, well you're
24:35
Speaker 3: part a contribute more for that child, Like what's the
24:37
Speaker 3: expectation there, or you're always just gonna split things fifty
24:41
Speaker 3: to fifty, which I know a lot of couples will
24:43
Speaker 3: just be like, look, let's just split costs fifty to
24:46
Speaker 3: fifty and call it a day. There's no paying for
24:48
Speaker 3: this kid in a separate you know, line item on
24:51
Speaker 3: our budget. It's just fifty to fifty and you're okay
24:54
Speaker 3: with that. But knowing exactly what to expect from your
24:57
Speaker 3: partner and from each other can make things much much easier.
25:01
Speaker 3: And another tip I have, which is a little bit
25:03
Speaker 3: left field, it's not necessarily about talking about money. It's
25:07
Speaker 3: actually about having productive conversations with somebody else, and that's
25:12
Speaker 3: making sure you're not accusing somebody of something. So Georgia,
25:16
Speaker 3: if I was to have a conversation with you about
25:19
Speaker 3: money and I'm feeling uncomfortable, I wouldn't say, Georgia, you
25:23
Speaker 3: always tell me that I'm bad with money, Like that's
25:28
Speaker 3: accusing you of doing something, and they're going to come
25:30
Speaker 3: straight back and go, no, I don't, I don't do that,
25:34
Speaker 3: Whereas on the flip side, we should be approaching that
25:37
Speaker 3: conversation from our own perspective, from our own shoes, not
25:41
Speaker 3: putting on what somebody else does, and taking feelings into consideration.
25:46
Speaker 3: So in that circumstance, I would say, Georgia, I feel
25:50
Speaker 3: like when I do this, you think I'm bad at money,
25:53
Speaker 3: instead of saying, Georgia, you always tell me I'm bad
25:56
Speaker 3: with money, which is not going to be productive and
25:58
Speaker 3: not going to get to the end and outcome that
26:01
Speaker 3: you want to get to. So I think it's really
26:03
Speaker 3: important to lead with feeling conversations. And I say that
26:07
Speaker 3: from I guess a psychological perspective of having productive conversations,
26:11
Speaker 3: but also from a little bit of a This sounds terrible,
26:16
Speaker 3: but gee, people can't argue with the feelings. They can
26:19
Speaker 3: argue with facts. Yeah, Like I can tell you I
26:22
Speaker 3: didn't do that thing, but you cannot argue that I
26:25
Speaker 3: feel disappointed that you've done something Like I can't say, gee,
26:30
Speaker 3: you always stay out really late and I hate it,
26:33
Speaker 3: But I could say I just feel like you stay
26:36
Speaker 3: out really late and it makes me really sad or
26:39
Speaker 3: something along those lines. It's not being manipulative. It is
26:42
Speaker 3: making sure that you are always approaching a situation where
26:46
Speaker 3: you're taking into account that takes two to tango, Like,
26:50
Speaker 3: it's not always about putting it on one other person.
26:53
Speaker 3: So I think it's important to know how to have
26:55
Speaker 3: a constructive conversation without blame, Like the blame game needs
26:59
Speaker 3: to be put in the bin. Yeah, And I think
27:00
Speaker 3: it's also important to remember it's not one conversation, it's
27:03
Speaker 3: not sitting down and setting the expectations, like we should
27:06
Speaker 3: always be talking about money, We should always have open
27:08
Speaker 3: lines of communications about situations and children and what's going on,
27:12
Speaker 3: because a two year old's going to need different things
27:15
Speaker 3: than a fourteen year old and how that works is
27:17
Speaker 3: going to change, so we need to be really aware
27:19
Speaker 3: of that, but open, honest, consistent communication.
27:22
Speaker 1: Georgia King brilliant. Okay, are there any I guess dangers
27:27
Speaker 1: be that could arise if we decided to financially contribute
27:31
Speaker 1: to our partner's child's upbringing, Like anything, we should be
27:34
Speaker 1: mindful of danger. Danger was that heavy word? A very
27:38
Speaker 1: strong word. I would argue that it.
27:39
Speaker 3: Is too strong for this circumstance, but it can definitely
27:42
Speaker 3: cause complications if you're on a different page to your partner.
27:45
Speaker 3: You don't want resentment to build if you feel like
27:47
Speaker 3: you're contributing too much, or you're doing too many things,
27:51
Speaker 3: or you haven't had the conversation and you're uncomfortable with
27:53
Speaker 3: the contribution you are making, but you feel like you
27:56
Speaker 3: have to make it. So again, be as open and
27:59
Speaker 3: as hoes and stand your ground, Like I think that
28:02
Speaker 3: a lot of people like, oh my gosh, this is
28:04
Speaker 3: my burden to carry. This child's a burden, Like a
28:07
Speaker 3: child's not a burden, a child's a blessing. Having a
28:09
Speaker 3: kid is really cool. Like, Yes, there are so many,
28:13
Speaker 3: I guess financial things to take into consideration. Yes, there
28:16
Speaker 3: are people who choose not to have children, and that's okay,
28:19
Speaker 3: But Georgia, as I said, if you're choosing to be
28:22
Speaker 3: in a relationship with somebody who has a kid, you
28:24
Speaker 3: are choosing that and it's not just a thing on
28:27
Speaker 3: the side. They deserve the same amount of respect you
28:30
Speaker 3: give your partner, even if they are a fourteen year
28:34
Speaker 3: old absolute twat, Like I totally get it, but they
28:38
Speaker 3: still deserve your respect. I think it probably goes without
28:41
Speaker 3: saying as well. Gee, but if you split, it's not
28:44
Speaker 3: like you can claim any of the money that you
28:46
Speaker 3: contributed to that child's upbringing back. I would hope no
28:49
Speaker 3: one would want to do that, but it's definitely worth
28:51
Speaker 3: considering because I've heard people ask about that before. But
28:54
Speaker 3: I'm a very big believer in only contributing what you
28:58
Speaker 3: can afford to contry and seeing it as a contribution,
29:02
Speaker 3: not an investment that you're expecting a return on. It's
29:05
Speaker 3: the same with like gifts and presents and doing something
29:08
Speaker 3: for somebody else, Like, I'm very much a believer that
29:11
Speaker 3: if you do it, you can't ask for it back
29:14
Speaker 3: unless it's alone and there's you know, obviously a conversation
29:18
Speaker 3: happening around that. I just believe if you give your
29:20
Speaker 3: partner a gift like that's not something to claim back
29:23
Speaker 3: later down the line when the relationship isn't going the
29:26
Speaker 3: way you.
29:26
Speaker 1: Wanted it to.
29:27
Speaker 3: And this is probably a little bit too deep for
29:29
Speaker 3: the conversation we are having right now, but I'm just
29:31
Speaker 3: a very big believer that if somebody asks for something
29:34
Speaker 3: back at a later date that was meant to be
29:37
Speaker 3: a gift or was intended to be a gift without
29:40
Speaker 3: any type of reciprocation, they never gave it for you,
29:44
Speaker 3: They only gave it for themselves, and now that it's
29:47
Speaker 3: not serving themselves, they want it back, And I just
29:49
Speaker 3: think that's a reflection of their personality, not yours. So
29:53
Speaker 3: I think it's important to remember that as well, but
29:55
Speaker 3: also having that clear conversation with your partner if you
29:59
Speaker 3: do th think that could be a thing, or you're
30:01
Speaker 3: a bit concerned, like, oh cool, well, anything you claim back, Like,
30:05
Speaker 3: I just feel like it's not the nicest thing to do,
30:07
Speaker 3: but in saying that, money is fickle and it complicates
30:11
Speaker 3: situations significantly, so I think it's important to only give
30:15
Speaker 3: the things that you are never going to need back.
30:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, this is kind of a different situation, B,
30:21
Speaker 1: But I'm curious as to your take on it, because
30:24
Speaker 1: I'm sure it comes up all the time. If you
30:26
Speaker 1: are in a partnership where you don't contribute to the
30:30
Speaker 1: finances of your partner's child, and your partner and their
30:35
Speaker 1: ex decide that they would like this child to go
30:38
Speaker 1: to private school and fork out how many thousands of
30:42
Speaker 1: dollars like that?
30:43
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, it is so expensive. I was creeping
30:46
Speaker 3: on one of Melbourne's private school websites recently. Year twelve
30:51
Speaker 3: g how much do you reckon that costs at a
30:53
Speaker 3: super private, super fancy school mownadays? Like fifty grand Yeah,
30:57
Speaker 3: more than insane insane at someone's salary for one year
31:02
Speaker 3: of education.
31:03
Speaker 1: Like what? Well, and that's it. So presumably making this decision,
31:08
Speaker 1: or if your partner is making that decision for their child,
31:12
Speaker 1: that could impact your ability within that relationship to like
31:17
Speaker 1: go on holidays and live your best life like there
31:19
Speaker 1: may have to be a level of sacrifice there. Of course,
31:23
Speaker 1: what does that look like, Like do you have any
31:25
Speaker 1: stake in saying, oh, maybe we should just send him
31:27
Speaker 1: to the local, Like, what do you do? That's not
31:30
Speaker 1: your decision to make.
31:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think when it comes to finances, and you know,
31:35
Speaker 3: let's not even talk about kids, like, let's just talk
31:38
Speaker 3: about two people in a relationship who have different values.
31:42
Speaker 3: We need to be respectful of the fact that I
31:44
Speaker 3: have different values to you, George, and I want different
31:47
Speaker 3: things than you want. And a relationship at the end
31:50
Speaker 3: of the day is always going to be about compromise
31:52
Speaker 3: and something has to give. We can't have it all,
31:55
Speaker 3: but we can have it at some point. So I
31:57
Speaker 3: think it's really important to go, okay, well that's their
32:00
Speaker 3: value and sitting down and having a deep discussion with
32:02
Speaker 3: your partner about okay, like this is a financial value
32:05
Speaker 3: to you and are we going to contribute money to this.
32:07
Speaker 3: Whether you're contributing to that or not, it is going
32:10
Speaker 3: to impact you in some way. But that is true
32:13
Speaker 3: of any financial decision in a relationship. Right, Like George,
32:17
Speaker 3: my partner Steve obsessed with golf. Obsessed. That's one of
32:22
Speaker 3: his core values in fact, I'm pretty sure at this
32:25
Speaker 3: point golf is a personality trait of Steve's.
32:28
Speaker 1: It is fantastic, and.
32:29
Speaker 3: I adore that he has a passion, But it's not
32:32
Speaker 3: my place to talk to him about not engaging in
32:36
Speaker 3: that because it doesn't align to what I want to spend.
32:38
Speaker 3: So I think we need to have some level of
32:40
Speaker 3: flexibility because there's going to be things in my budget
32:42
Speaker 3: that stays like Victoria eyelash extensions are really like, is
32:46
Speaker 3: that something that aligns to my values?
32:48
Speaker 1: No?
32:49
Speaker 3: Do they benefit him in any way, shape or form,
32:51
Speaker 3: Absolutely not. But we need to be having conversations about
32:56
Speaker 3: our financial lives and what financial commitments we have that
33:00
Speaker 3: then changes the scope of what we can achieve together.
33:04
Speaker 3: We just need to be clear about that. And I
33:06
Speaker 3: think that you'll find that if that's the conversation you're having,
33:09
Speaker 3: and you're actually having a more holistic conversation about goals
33:13
Speaker 3: and values and doing a budget together and writing out
33:16
Speaker 3: things that you want to achieve together, it's going to
33:19
Speaker 3: help take that financial commitment into perspective as opposed to going,
33:24
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, they spend so much on that and
33:26
Speaker 3: I could do so many better things with that money. Okay,
33:29
Speaker 3: well that's what their values are. You can't argue with
33:32
Speaker 3: somebody's values. We need to find a happy medium. But
33:36
Speaker 3: I'm a very big advocate of going all right, well,
33:38
Speaker 3: that's their decision, but you need to be educated enough
33:41
Speaker 3: to know what all the opportunities are.
33:43
Speaker 1: Like if they're putting you.
33:45
Speaker 3: In a situation where you're going into significant debt to
33:47
Speaker 3: put them into private education, that's again a different conversation
33:52
Speaker 3: about is this the right thing to do and is
33:54
Speaker 3: this going to work for us long term? And I
33:57
Speaker 3: feel like a lot of financial and ammoss comes from
34:01
Speaker 3: not having had more holistic discussions about your values and
34:05
Speaker 3: your goals and understanding your partner's needs and your partners
34:09
Speaker 3: wants because that might be a core value to them.
34:12
Speaker 3: They might go, no, this is like I've worked my
34:14
Speaker 3: entire life to get to this point to put my
34:17
Speaker 3: key to through private school.
34:18
Speaker 1: That might not be your value.
34:20
Speaker 3: You might have gone to public school and be like
34:21
Speaker 3: that's fine, Like I don't need to spend money.
34:23
Speaker 1: That is fine.
34:24
Speaker 3: Those are your values, But you can't assume that just
34:27
Speaker 3: because you're in a relationship with someone, they would absorb
34:30
Speaker 3: your values and see everything from your page like that
34:34
Speaker 3: is not how it works. We need to have some
34:36
Speaker 3: level of flexibility. But if that is something that is
34:39
Speaker 3: a bit of a fickle point, have a chat about it.
34:42
Speaker 3: Be open, be honest, talk about what your values are
34:45
Speaker 3: and why that is impacting you and how that works.
34:48
Speaker 3: But I just think it's really important to see things
34:51
Speaker 3: a little bit more holisticly than it's school fees like it.
34:54
Speaker 3: Totally understand the example, though, because that is a massive commitment.
34:57
Speaker 1: Yeah for sure. Okay, interesting, So I guess in all
35:00
Speaker 1: of those types of situations, just have the conversation be open, upfront, honest.
35:06
Speaker 1: How important is it that we establish a binding financial
35:10
Speaker 1: agreement or a prenup as they are also known, before
35:14
Speaker 1: marrying someone with kids? Is it more important than if
35:17
Speaker 1: they didn't have kids.
35:19
Speaker 3: No, It's important in any way, shape or form if
35:21
Speaker 3: you're in a relationship to consider a binding financial agreement.
35:25
Speaker 3: I mean, there are a lot of couples in the
35:27
Speaker 3: shees on the money community who are like, I don't
35:29
Speaker 3: need that, That's cool. All I want is for you
35:31
Speaker 3: to be educated on the topic and if it's right
35:33
Speaker 3: for you, getting one established. So, from my perspective, super important.
35:37
Speaker 3: Even if you don't have kids, But this is one
35:39
Speaker 3: of the best ways to protect your finances and make
35:41
Speaker 3: sure that you don't get the short end of the
35:43
Speaker 3: stick if the relationship doesn't work out, Like if you're
35:46
Speaker 3: creating well facets together and then you break up and
35:48
Speaker 3: they take all your well facets, but the kids were yours, Like,
35:51
Speaker 3: I think it's important to make sure that we are
35:53
Speaker 3: all well and protected. And gee, we never get in
35:55
Speaker 3: relationships with the intention of them ending, Like you're not
35:58
Speaker 3: going to go move in with someone as especially if
36:00
Speaker 3: you have children, if you don't see a future with them,
36:03
Speaker 3: Like that's that's crazy. So I feel like, yes, it
36:06
Speaker 3: might not be nice to bring it up.
36:09
Speaker 1: It might not feel comfy, it might be a bit awkward,
36:11
Speaker 1: there might be.
36:11
Speaker 3: Some tension, but by financial agreements are important. They do
36:15
Speaker 3: in the long term save a lot of stress and
36:17
Speaker 3: a lot of heartache. And George, at the very start
36:19
Speaker 3: of this episode, you said the fifty percent of relationships
36:22
Speaker 3: end up in divorced. So my favorite stats, it's not
36:26
Speaker 3: my favorite stat it's pretty depressing. As someone who is
36:29
Speaker 3: planning a wedding, I don't want to hear that from
36:32
Speaker 3: you right now. But I think it's also important to
36:36
Speaker 3: just realize turns out g as humans, we're not that
36:38
Speaker 3: great at picking successful relationships. So even if you are
36:42
Speaker 3: really committed to it, doesn't mean it'll work out.
36:45
Speaker 1: But we should always protect ourselves. Nailed it before we
36:50
Speaker 1: head v It's okay to change our minds. If we
36:54
Speaker 1: committed to a certain contribution to our partner's child. We
36:57
Speaker 1: can backtrack if our circumstance changes or whatever it may be.
37:01
Speaker 1: Of course can change our minds.
37:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course you can. And I feel like that's
37:04
Speaker 3: just a good healthy relationship with boundaries and communication and
37:10
Speaker 3: having conversations. Also, if you're in a situation where you're like,
37:14
Speaker 3: I am not comfortable paying for my partner's child, that's okay.
37:18
Speaker 3: If that changes in the future, that's also okay, because
37:21
Speaker 3: even if you're just moving in with them, you're like, oh, like,
37:23
Speaker 3: we've just moved in together, we've been together for six months.
37:25
Speaker 3: I'm not ready to take, you know, our relationship to
37:29
Speaker 3: the next level of me taking ownership and responsibility for
37:32
Speaker 3: this child. But who knows, in ten years that might
37:35
Speaker 3: be completely different. And that's okay because things change. Nothing's stagnant,
37:39
Speaker 3: nothing's stuck. The only consistent we have Georgia is changed.
37:43
Speaker 3: So it's really important to remember that money conversations are
37:47
Speaker 3: not a one and done kind of thing. They are
37:50
Speaker 3: consistent and they are happening all the time. And they
37:53
Speaker 3: might be over the price of milk, or it might
37:55
Speaker 3: be over a fifty thousand dollars education for your partner's child,
37:59
Speaker 3: but money conversations should be consistently being had.
38:03
Speaker 1: Brilliant All right, b I think that's probably it covers
38:07
Speaker 1: as much as we can in a forty minute little
38:09
Speaker 1: podcast episode. Anything else to add? No, All good, All right, Sea,
38:13
Speaker 1: thanks for having us.
38:15
Speaker 2: Bye.
38:15
Speaker 3: All right, let's actually be serious though, because as always
38:20
Speaker 3: we would before we head off, like to acknowledge and
38:23
Speaker 3: pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's.
38:27
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38:30
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38:34
Speaker 3: and for caring for the land on which we are
38:36
Speaker 3: able to learn. We pay our respects to elders past
38:39
Speaker 3: and present, and we share our friendship and our kindness.
38:42
Speaker 1: And remember, guys, the advice shared on She's on the
38:45
Speaker 1: Money is general in nature and does not consider your
38:48
Speaker 1: individual circumstances. She is on the money, exists purely for
38:52
Speaker 1: educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make
38:55
Speaker 1: an investment or a financial decision, and we promise Victoria
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Speaker 3: See you next week, Guys, By Guys