Latest / Bye Bye Panic / Constantly Anxious? Stop Fighting Your Thoughts
Transcript
- 0:00[SPEAKER_00]: You've probably clicked this video because you have constant anxiety and the more you try to stop it, the worse it gets.
- 0:08[SPEAKER_00]: You basically worry about worrying but never get anywhere.
- 0:12[SPEAKER_00]: I did this for two years with crippling anxiety and I have news for you.
- 0:19[SPEAKER_00]: You can't outthink your anxious thoughts.
- 0:22[SPEAKER_00]: Instead, you have to completely change your relationship to these thoughts.
- 0:27[SPEAKER_00]: And in this video, I show you how in just three steps.
- 0:31[SPEAKER_00]: Step 1.
- 0:32[SPEAKER_00]: This is a thought, not your thought.
- 0:36[SPEAKER_00]: Thoughts are the language of your brain.
- 0:39[SPEAKER_00]: Your heart beats, your lungs breathe, and your brain creates thoughts.
- 0:44[SPEAKER_00]: That's its job, but when you're in a tense situation or stressed for a prolonged period of time, your mind will naturally produce faster, louder,
- 0:56[SPEAKER_00]: This is no different than your heart racing when you increase activity.
- 1:00[SPEAKER_00]: Now just because you have scary thoughts, this doesn't mean you're broken, or your brain is not on your side.
- 1:07[SPEAKER_00]: The problem occurs when people try to stop that thought.
- 1:11[SPEAKER_00]: But you wouldn't want your heart to stop beating.
- 1:13[SPEAKER_00]: You wouldn't want your lungs to stop breathing.
- 1:17[SPEAKER_00]: So why do you want these thoughts to stop?
- 1:20[SPEAKER_00]: Well, the issue isn't the thoughts.
- 1:22[SPEAKER_00]: The issue is this thought.
- 1:25[SPEAKER_00]: You have a specific thought that's scary.
- 1:28[SPEAKER_00]: That's intrusive.
- 1:29[SPEAKER_00]: Thoughts like, what if I never get better?
- 1:32[SPEAKER_00]: What if the doctor's miss something?
- 1:34[SPEAKER_00]: What if I'm just inherently broken?
- 1:36[SPEAKER_00]: But what keeps this cycle alive isn't the thought, but it's how you respond to the thought.
- 1:43[SPEAKER_00]: It's the identification of that thought that this thought means something about you.
- 1:49[SPEAKER_00]: You end up making an identity out of this thought.
- 1:52[SPEAKER_00]: Let's take an example.
- 1:54[SPEAKER_00]: A thought says, what if I embarrass myself in front of everybody?
- 1:58[SPEAKER_00]: And you begin to believe that somehow you're weak or that you can't handle pressure.
- 2:04[SPEAKER_00]: That fear turns into an identity.
- 2:07[SPEAKER_00]: You end up wearing it like a label.
- 2:10[SPEAKER_00]: Or a thought says, what if my heart stops?
- 2:14[SPEAKER_00]: And you begin to think that you must be sick or that your body is betraying you.
- 2:19[SPEAKER_00]: What happens is the body's natural stress response has become a personal verdict of danger.
- 2:25[SPEAKER_00]: You're attaching meaning behind a thought.
- 2:28[SPEAKER_00]: Somehow this thought means something about you, but thoughts don't define identity.
- 2:34[SPEAKER_00]: They just reveal a state of your nervous system in that moment.
- 2:38[SPEAKER_00]: sometimes a thought is a thought.
- 2:41[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes a thought is just excess adrenaline burning itself off.
- 2:45[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't mean anything about you.
- 2:47[SPEAKER_00]: Think about any time in your life where you were a hundred percent convinced that this thought was true.
- 2:53[SPEAKER_00]: I remember when I was in the anxiety cycle, when I was getting intense panic attacks and truce of thoughts, physical symptoms, I was convinced I had something medically wrong.
- 3:03[SPEAKER_00]: I would go to doctors,
- 3:05[SPEAKER_00]: nutritionists, acupunctors, everybody, and nobody seemed to figure it out.
- 3:10[SPEAKER_00]: I was willing to bet anything that I had this specific thing.
- 3:14[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't until I ended up going to the ER one day and when the doctors came back and told me that there was nothing wrong, that this was just anxiety, I couldn't believe it.
- 3:24[SPEAKER_00]: But what happened was that I was just identified with that thought.
- 3:28[SPEAKER_00]: I was dealing with my symptoms and I was Google searching, matching whatever I dealt with,
- 3:35[SPEAKER_00]: But turns out, I was too identified with the thought.
- 3:39[SPEAKER_00]: Even though the thought seemed real, it doesn't mean that's what reality was.
- 3:44[SPEAKER_00]: By the way, if you want to know how I overcame this in the principles of recovery, I have a free e-book down below the link is in the description box.
- 3:53[SPEAKER_00]: So recognize that these thoughts are not yours.
- 3:56[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it's just adrenaline burning itself off and you don't need to be identified with it.
- 4:01[SPEAKER_00]: This leads me to step two, which is your need for control is holding you back.
- 4:07[SPEAKER_00]: See, when you have these thoughts that scare you, thoughts you resist, avoid, distract, and even fight, no matter what you seem to do, nothing seems to work.
- 4:17[SPEAKER_00]: These thoughts keep coming back.
- 4:19[SPEAKER_00]: You try to control these thoughts, but they don't seem to go away.
- 4:22[SPEAKER_00]: Over time, you try to control your emotions.
- 4:25[SPEAKER_00]: your environment, over time you try to even control your own reality.
- 4:29[SPEAKER_00]: And the more you try to control, the less empowered you feel, this need for control exhaust the nervous system, it's what tires you out.
- 4:38[SPEAKER_00]: Now people start thinking that they don't have anxiety, that they must have something else because they're feeling tired.
- 4:43[SPEAKER_00]: they're not just anxious all the time.
- 4:45[SPEAKER_00]: But they miss the fact that their reaction to their thoughts and feelings is what tired out their nervous system.
- 4:52[SPEAKER_00]: And if you're going to be honest with yourself, the reason why you want to feel in control is because you don't want to feel helpless.
- 4:59[SPEAKER_00]: No matter what you try, you can't seem to change things.
- 5:03[SPEAKER_00]: Instead of feeling helpless, you try to control more, but that only increases anxiety.
- 5:09[SPEAKER_00]: maybe the antidote to this isn't more control, but having more faith.
- 5:14[SPEAKER_00]: When I mean faith, I don't mean just having blind belief.
- 5:17[SPEAKER_00]: Faith is about going into the unknown, knowing that everything will turn out for the best, that you might not have all the answers, but whatever shows up will be for your betterment in your evolution.
- 5:30[SPEAKER_00]: You don't achieve faith first and then go into the unknown.
- 5:34[SPEAKER_00]: you go into the unknown and show yourself that everything turns out okay.
- 5:39[SPEAKER_00]: This is exactly how exposure therapy works.
- 5:42[SPEAKER_00]: Going into the unknown and every belief pattern or every thought you have around something going wrong, you end up showcasing yourself that everything turns out okay.
- 5:51[SPEAKER_00]: Over time, you develop a trust and faith in an intelligence that's beyond your comprehension.
- 5:57[SPEAKER_00]: See, when I was dealing with anxiety, I realized these thoughts weren't my own.
- 6:01[SPEAKER_00]: I realized that these physical sensations I was feeling, that there was nothing wrong with my body.
- 6:07[SPEAKER_00]: And so I asked myself, well, if I'm not my mind, if I'm not this body, who am I?
- 6:13[SPEAKER_00]: and I began exploring that awareness.
- 6:15[SPEAKER_00]: I began exploring that dimension of myself.
- 6:18[SPEAKER_00]: And what I realized that my need for control was because of my lack of faith.
- 6:23[SPEAKER_00]: I was too scared of going into the unknown in something possibly being wrong.
- 6:28[SPEAKER_00]: I just didn't want certain things to happen to me, but that just created more resistance, more fuel.
- 6:34[SPEAKER_00]: But what I realized that no matter what happens, things will work out for the best.
- 6:39[SPEAKER_00]: It didn't eliminate the anxiety, but it gave me the courage to go into the unknown.
- 6:44[SPEAKER_00]: Just keep moving forward.
- 6:46[SPEAKER_00]: Over time, I started seeing myself that everything turned out okay.
- 6:50[SPEAKER_00]: and over time the faith builds on its own.
- 6:52[SPEAKER_00]: And that leads me to step three, which is you don't need to fix how you feel to live.
- 6:58[SPEAKER_00]: So many times I hear from people say, Sean, I'm going back to living, but these sensations are still there.
- 7:04[SPEAKER_00]: These feelings are still there.
- 7:05[SPEAKER_00]: The habit of overthinking is still there.
- 7:08[SPEAKER_00]: Where am I going wrong?
- 7:09[SPEAKER_00]: what they don't realize that this is a false choice.
- 7:13[SPEAKER_00]: You don't need to fix this then live.
- 7:15[SPEAKER_00]: This isn't binary.
- 7:16[SPEAKER_00]: You can live and have these sensations be there at the same time.
- 7:21[SPEAKER_00]: Part of the healing journey is living with this side by side, showing your nervous system that you can be safe while feeling these sensations.
- 7:30[SPEAKER_00]: The truth is, your nervous system learns the experience, not control.
- 7:35[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't recalibrate when everything feels safe.
- 7:39[SPEAKER_00]: It recalibrates when you step into life while it still feels uncertain.
- 7:44[SPEAKER_00]: The moment you go for a walk, even though you're anxious, you talk to a friend, even while your thoughts are racing, you start that project even while your mind says you're not ready.
- 7:55[SPEAKER_00]: Those are the moments your brain starts to unlearn danger.
- 7:58[SPEAKER_00]: Because you're showing it, not telling it, that you can exist, act, and create without everything being perfect first.
- 8:08[SPEAKER_00]: This is the paradox most people miss.
- 8:11[SPEAKER_00]: You don't need to fix anxiety to start living.
- 8:14[SPEAKER_00]: You can start living and anxiety dissolves on its own.
- 8:18[SPEAKER_00]: When you make the decision to live, you won't feel ready.
- 8:22[SPEAKER_00]: And this is where you step into faith.
- 8:24[SPEAKER_00]: The kind of faith that says, I don't know how this will turn out.
- 8:28[SPEAKER_00]: I just need to take the next step.
- 8:30[SPEAKER_00]: That's what recovery really is.
- 8:32[SPEAKER_00]: It's not a finish line, but the courage to love fully in the middle of the unknown.
- 8:37[SPEAKER_00]: So maybe the goal is to end the thoughts or control the fear or reach some perfect version of peace.
- 8:44[SPEAKER_00]: The goal is simply to live, to move, to breathe, even while the mind keeps moving.
- 8:52[SPEAKER_00]: Because the mind will always move, that's its nature.
- 8:55[SPEAKER_00]: But you no longer have to move with it.
- 8:58[SPEAKER_00]: You can let it run while you rest in awareness behind it all.
- 9:02[SPEAKER_00]: When you stop fighting your thoughts, your nervous system finally exhales.
- 9:07[SPEAKER_00]: And in that exhale, you discover peace was never the prize for fixing the mind.
- 9:13[SPEAKER_00]: it was what appeared at the moment you stopped the fight.