Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: Clover Teaches Swim
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: One eight hundred do uy away now offering free remote
- 0:02Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.
- 0:06Speaker 1: Trust Brook, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote
- 0:09Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred do
- 0:12Speaker 1: uy away dot com or call eight hundred do you
- 0:15Speaker 1: y away.
- 0:16Speaker 2: Today we call a mom who's been desperately trying to
- 0:18Speaker 2: find an opening for her son to do swim lessons.
- 0:21Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and she's been put on a couple different waitlists,
- 0:25Speaker 2: but recently found out she got in. What she doesn't know, though,
- 0:31Speaker 2: is that her instructor has a lot of water experience.
- 0:35Speaker 2: And when I say water experience, I mean destroying terrorist
- 0:39Speaker 2: U boats in the Black Sea under the dead of
- 0:41Speaker 2: night water experience. That's right, Clover is back for your
- 0:47Speaker 2: phone tab right now.
- 0:48Speaker 3: It's another.
- 0:53Speaker 4: Hello.
- 0:54Speaker 3: Oh is this Monica? Yes, good morning, Frank, but me
- 1:00Speaker 3: mates call me Clover woman to be teaching your little
- 1:04Speaker 3: tiger marky how to survive in the water.
- 1:07Speaker 1: Wait, what you did sign.
- 1:10Speaker 3: Up for swimming lessons at the war MCI, did you?
- 1:14Speaker 4: Oh, so you're from the YMCA. I didn't understand at
- 1:16Speaker 4: the beginning affirmative I find my son Markey at first
- 1:20Speaker 4: swimming lessons a long time ago. I've been waiting.
- 1:23Speaker 3: I saw that your credit card payment was just approved,
- 1:25Speaker 3: so it looks like we're good to go.
- 1:27Speaker 4: Thank you for taking them. It's been really hard to
- 1:30Speaker 4: get an opening.
- 1:30Speaker 3: So first lesson on Monday at our four hundred hours
- 1:34Speaker 3: is when you're in the water, you can't have any fear.
- 1:38Speaker 4: Do you mean four o'clock, am? Is the first lesson
- 1:41Speaker 4: on Monday? Precisely, we're not doing that. That's brilliant. Are
- 1:45Speaker 4: you sure?
- 1:46Speaker 3: It's best to learn before the sun breaks or the
- 1:49Speaker 3: water that you can really feel the environment.
- 1:52Speaker 4: As well as he knows the basics. That's all we're
- 1:55Speaker 4: looking for to learn at this point, ma'am.
- 1:57Speaker 3: I don't think you realize who you're talking to mode
- 2:00Speaker 3: and just the basics.
- 2:02Speaker 4: That's nice.
- 2:03Speaker 3: Yeah. One time I was doing a mission off the
- 2:06Speaker 3: coast of Malaysia and I was such a strong swimmer.
- 2:09Speaker 3: A baby seal abandoned its own mum to be with me.
- 2:16Speaker 4: I don't even know what to say about that.
- 2:18Speaker 3: So first lesson on Monday, before we even get in
- 2:21Speaker 3: the water, I'm going to show them a video of
- 2:23Speaker 3: me drowning. Wait, what I actually die for five minutes
- 2:28Speaker 3: when I revived myself with my will to live alone.
- 2:31Speaker 4: I don't want my child watching a video of somebody
- 2:34Speaker 4: drowning in the water. Are you crazy?
- 2:36Speaker 3: Fine, then I'll do it live in front of them.
- 2:39Speaker 4: What years old?
- 2:41Speaker 3: It's old enough you can see a dead body. But
- 2:44Speaker 3: I'll come and live again. So it's not going to
- 2:45Speaker 3: be traumatic. It will be at first, but then I'll
- 2:48Speaker 3: give myself CPR well, cpr R, which stands for Clover's
- 2:53Speaker 3: Personal Rescue and Resuscitation.
- 2:56Speaker 4: You don't understand. I signed a beginner's class.
- 2:59Speaker 3: I'm going to teach and things out. Our instructors just
- 3:01Speaker 3: don't know. Like if you have a stranded in the
- 3:03Speaker 3: water for days at a time, I'll show you how
- 3:05Speaker 3: to fashion a poe now and or makeshift breathing apparatus
- 3:09Speaker 3: wait using only a hunter's knife in the skin from
- 3:11Speaker 3: behind your right end.
- 3:13Speaker 4: Holy they having crazy people at the YNCA.
- 3:16Speaker 3: You have a problem with your son learning from the
- 3:18Speaker 3: best at the best. He needs to know that every
- 3:20Speaker 3: splash could be life or death.
- 3:22Speaker 4: I don't know what the hell you're talking about. When
- 3:25Speaker 4: I look online. None of what you're saying was in
- 3:27Speaker 4: the class. Description.
- 3:29Speaker 3: You really think it's going to be written down somewhere,
- 3:32Speaker 3: Like when I teach him how to tread water with
- 3:33Speaker 3: twenty pounds weights attached at our ankles. We cannot put
- 3:36Speaker 3: that online.
- 3:38Speaker 4: This is way too extreme. Just take my son off
- 3:41Speaker 4: the list.
- 3:41Speaker 3: Oh I disagree. I'll teach them the freestyle, a backstroke,
- 3:45Speaker 3: and of course a squat and squid.
- 3:47Speaker 4: If you need to escape, off off the list.
- 3:50Speaker 3: If you need to escape the prey with a little
- 3:52Speaker 3: extra boost, you're just sawing yourself and works like a
- 3:54Speaker 3: jet propultion.
- 3:55Speaker 4: Deviance that suggusted.
- 3:58Speaker 3: I learned it from an octopus I encountered in the
- 4:00Speaker 3: waters off Malta. His name was Franklin, like me Bond,
- 4:05Speaker 3: and we adopted that baby seal.
- 4:08Speaker 4: Listen, I think I'm over this. I'm over this, and
- 4:11Speaker 4: I'm over you.
- 4:13Speaker 3: This is actually Jose from the radio show Brook and
- 4:16Speaker 3: Jeffrey in the Morning. We're doing a phone tap on you, Monica.
- 4:19Speaker 4: Oh my god, this isn't real.
- 4:21Speaker 3: I'm not a British intelligence operator. This is a radio prank.
- 4:27Speaker 4: What's going on right now? I love your laugh?
- 4:29Speaker 3: No, your brother Johnny set you up.
- 4:31Speaker 4: He's excited for your kids.
- 4:32Speaker 3: To learn to swim. He said, he wants to, you know,
- 4:34Speaker 3: be the uncle in the pool and throw him around
- 4:36Speaker 3: and stuff.
- 4:37Speaker 4: I brother, need a whole real life. I should have
- 4:39Speaker 4: got it. I was getting ready to get crazy on that.
- 4:43Speaker 4: Oh my god, I can't well.
- 4:44Speaker 3: You talking about getting crazy on Clovering. I wouldn't recommend
- 4:48Speaker 3: it at all.
- 4:50Speaker 4: And look at four am, I'm like, what, who gets up?
- 4:54Speaker 4: So wait?
- 4:55Speaker 3: Out of everything that I said, the four am part
- 4:58Speaker 3: that was what got you the most.
- 5:00Speaker 4: Going on and on and all about all this crazy stuff.
- 5:02Speaker 4: I wake up every morning.
- 5:07Speaker 1: With Foom Times weekday mornings all the twenties, Brooke and
- 5:11Speaker 1: Jeffrey in the morning