Latest / Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis / 018: I Wasn’t Out of Control… Until I Was

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018: I Wasn’t Out of Control… Until I Was · Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the Limitless Living Podcast.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Frederica Davis, wellness expert, entrepreneur, and creator of the reset method.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to share a little story with you this week, and uh hopefully it'll be a little entertaining, a little inspiring.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: The other night I went out to walk the dog.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm gonna say this up front.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is not a story about my dog.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is a story about what happens when you override your body's needs and when you keep pushing through, and then try to outrun basically your life or your day.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I had been working all day, working on several projects.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: I was recording and planning and getting a whole host of things done.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I kept wanting to get outside.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: It was beautiful outside.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: I kept telling myself, I'll go to walk the dog in a minute.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I planned an extra long walk up and down these big hills that are uh behind my home, and I'll go in a minute.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: And and uh I kept saying that.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: So, well, a minute turned into another one and another one, and then of course it was later.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: And at that point, we went out, and late turned into me going out and racing against the sunset and daylight.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: I just didn't want to walk in the dark, so I was really, really walking fast.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And the hills that I wanted to do to get a better workout have no lights, no street lights or anything.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: There's a sidewalk, but there's no street lighting.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I had my flashlight with me and whatnot.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: I start walking, I'm walking fast, faster than I normally would be walking, especially at the beginning of a walk.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: And there I was, and all of a sudden, my beautiful, wonderful Shepherd, Luna, she decided to zig, and I was unable to zag.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: The next thing I knew, you can imagine, I was down, and I was down hard, really hard.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: In that instant, of course, you know, I twisted somehow, and my back, my hip, my head, especially my the back of my head.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: I I really hit the back of my head with such force on the ground.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: And now, whether you believe this or not, I have always felt like I've had a strong team of angels, like an exhausted team of angels by now, quite honestly.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because I could have fallen straight back right onto the sidewalk, and all the cars, they just keep passing you by, they don't stop to see if you're okay.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: I was sitting there and it wasn't yet dark, so there was at least four cars that passed me.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody turns around to see if you're okay.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I I would have been on the sidewalk, and who knows what worse could have happened.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: But somehow, somehow I got twisted, I landed in the grass, and thank God for that, because again, this could have been a very, very different story if I was even able to give you one.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Now, in that instant when it first happened, I was on the ground flat on my back, and immediately I had a rush of nausea.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: I started having a sharp stabbing pain in the back of my head.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And my first thought was, here we go.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is really bad.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: This has this is a concussion.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I've had more than my share of concussions after growing up, being quite an active child.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I went straight into that moment, you know, when something something bad happens, and you're you're you go into please God, please God, please let me be okay, please God, please help me this, please God, whatever.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you go into that moment when something goes wrong.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know the one, you've probably gone into it, no matter what your belief system is at one point or another.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: But then I caught myself and I realized, okay, wait a minute.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm breathing, I'm conscious, I'm here, and I think I'm okay.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: And wow, I can't believe it.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I shifted very quickly, and I literally said out loud, okay, God, I'm okay.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: I take that back.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: You are clearly watching out for me, or my angels, or whoever it was up there.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: That literally came out of my mouth.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I appreciate the oh, and I think I said I appreciate the assist.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so I knew that I was okay.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: I might have been hurt, but I wasn't, I wasn't anything beyond hurt.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: So in that moment, the nausea, crazy, miraculously dropped.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: It just almost completely went away.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: My stomach was not quite right, but then the overwhelming nausea went away.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: The sharp stabbing, like somebody was stabbing a knife into the back of my head pain, went away.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: It just dropped.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: My head hurt a little bit, but it was nothing like that.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: So it was just completely different, and it was such a large shift, you just could not help but notice.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: So the reason I am telling you this is because in that moment, now we can say that was divine intervention, we can say it was instinct that I wound up going on the grass, we can call it whatever we want here.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: But in that moment, when I shifted from the initial holy crap, what did I do?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of a panic mode into immediate gratitude.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: I was regulating.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I've had more than my share of opportunities to practice what I teach everybody, what I talk about with everybody, and put this into use.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: And this just happens to be my one of my latest examples.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope it gives you a really clear picture of how powerful these types of shifts can be.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now, most people never learn how to regulate in real time, and that's the key because stress happens, falls happen, drama, trauma, issues, failures, setbacks, these all happen throughout your lifetime.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot stop them.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's all in how we deal with them in the moment and how quickly we recover.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it determines whether we are resilient or not.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And this really matters.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: I I got up, I I you know, took a few minutes, did some inventory, made sure my neck moved, my shoulders were okay, my body was okay.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: I got up, poor dog was like, What's wrong, mom?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I get up, and the old me, and I'm wondering if anybody can relate to this.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: So the old me would have pushed through, continued on my walk, thinking, ah, wow, I'm okay, I bounced pretty well.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I would have continued on the hard walk with the hills, and I would have pushed myself and come back all hot and sweaty and the whole nine yards.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the regulated, the the able to regulate myself me took a breath, paused, and asked myself, what do I need right now?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: I asked my body, what do you need right now?
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I listened.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I really paused.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't what my original plan was.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, I blew my original schedule out of the water.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Had I gone on my normal schedule, that I where I had it blocked off in the day, I probably would not have had this because I wouldn't have been walking as fast.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: I might not have been as tired, and I would have been able to potentially zag when she zigged or zig when she zagged.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: So you get the picture.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when I asked myself what I really needed, and I took a few more breaths, I thought, you know, I'm not gonna go home.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think I'm okay.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: I am gonna walk, but I'm not gonna push myself.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna walk leisurely, I'm gonna go on a different route, a flat route, and I'm only gonna walk a little bit so that I can calm down both my dog and me.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Luna was also a little dysregulated, and so that's what I did.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: I changed directions, I walked on the flat area, I did some breath work in and out, and I regulated immediately.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now, here's what most women don't learn men to honestly.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: But we we often think things like this happen, you know.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: We can I could blame the dog, I you know, and here's the deal I did not fall because of the dog.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: I fell because I was rushing, I fell because I was probably a little more tired than I would have been going out for the walk two hours or three hours prior.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I fell.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: And we often go into this um knee-jerk reaction of blaming the things that happened to us on external things, but usually we have a pretty good role to play in them.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now, there's always exceptions to that role, but but usually we do.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: And and we don't wind up owning what we've done and and figuring out how not to do it again.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Number one.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, we don't ever learn how to in the moment come back to center, come back to grounded, come back to regulated, and take our nervous systems out of the fight or flight response and the adrenaline and the cortisol and the all of that that goes with it, and get it back into the rest and digest response quickly.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I delayed what my body needed that day.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: I tried to cram it in.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: And when you do that in your life, you don't just lose time, you lose the awareness, you lose the presence in what you're doing, and you lose control.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: In that case, I lost control over my feet.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, these things don't just show up on walks like I'm talking about, they actually show up in place, other places like our businesses.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: They show up in your health, they show up in your relationships.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: You keep pushing until something forces you to stop, and that shows up all over the place.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's a problem that crops up that might not have been there had you not pushed through something and missed the details.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: There's all sorts of examples with this.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of us have actually built identities around this, whole identities around being the one who handles everything, being the one who pushes through, being the one who fixes everything, being the one who keeps going no matter what.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are that person, you are my people, I promise y'all.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: This is something I have some experience with.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, there is a time for that.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: I want to acknowledge that there is a season, there is a time when you do need to push through certain things.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: But when that's all we do, and we don't also take the time to stop and recognize the patterns in this, and it becomes all we do all the time, it starts costing you.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the part I'm proud of with this story is I caught it.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I caught it early, not before the fall, so I couldn't prevent it, but before the pattern continued and I pushed through and did the hills and maybe made myself sick again.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I was able to bring it back down quickly.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what I'm I want for you.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: The story I hope is inspiring to you.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: When you learn to self-regulate, it's so important to self-regulate.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: I do this a lot in all my programs.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: It is so, so, so important.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: You get through life so much better, you recover so much quicker, and you prevent things like from like this from happening.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: But when they do, you know what to do and how to handle it and be your best.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Now, am I a little sore?
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, I'm a little sore.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna probably need to see the chiropractor.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Everything got knocked out of whack a little bit there.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: I've got a knot on the back of my head, and sleeping hasn't been as much fun, but but it's a couple of days later.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: I am here, I can feel it, and I'm thankful I'm here and I can feel it because that means I'm here.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: And nothing major happened, it will pass, but it could have been major.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: So this wasn't luck, it was awareness, it was a decision to respond differently in the moment when this happened.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: And if this story is hitting you, or you're at least enjoying it, maybe you recognize that you've been the one pushing through, maybe you've been overriding things in your life somewhere and telling yourself you'll slow down when this slows down, or when that slows down, or when this person does this, or when whatever, you know, you'll slow down later.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Come join me in the limitless living group.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: These are the conversations we like to go a little deeper into there.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: And we actually work to change the patterns, not just recognize them.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: So if that sounds good to you, join me over there.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you know someone who is in need of a little reminder that it's okay to pause, it's okay to prioritize yourself, and it's okay to not put yourself on a back burner, and that learning to regulate when something does go wrong is possible, then share this with that person.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: And until next week, thanks for listening.