Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 130. The Almost-30 Wake-Up Call: "Why Am I Still Here?”

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130. The Almost-30 Wake-Up Call: "Why Am I Still Here?” · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Apochiae Production. I need your advice. Are you okay? What happened?
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Promise it won't be too much. Bring it in.
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  Speaker 2: Welcome to our Bestie segment, My girl, this is the
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  Speaker 2: place for you. Welcome back to another bestI episode.
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  Speaker 1: Copies episode. They are the best, aren't they?
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  Speaker 2: Not? A really interesting one for you today? Now, instead
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  Speaker 2: of talking about it, I'm just gonna get stuck into Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: Are you ready? I'm ready. Let's do it. Hello, lovely ladies.
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  Speaker 2: I just want to start by saying that I love
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  Speaker 2: the podcast and it's like my comfort show for drives
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  Speaker 2: to and from work. I'm needing some bestie advice. The
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  Speaker 2: only words that come to mind when I think of
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  Speaker 2: my life at the moment are stuck and unfulfilled. So
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  Speaker 2: here's a bit of context. I'm twenty nine soon and
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  Speaker 2: I've been working in the construction industry for the last
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  Speaker 2: eight years. I have an amazing, loving partner who I've
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  Speaker 2: been with for two years in brackets. Nothing wrong in
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  Speaker 2: that department, but career wise, I am stuck and unfulfilled.
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  Speaker 2: Always had this stream of wanting my own business. I've
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  Speaker 2: had so many ideas over the years, but I've never
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  Speaker 2: followed through because I either haven't been one hundred percent
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  Speaker 2: on board with the idea or it just gets put
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  Speaker 2: in the too hard basket. I absolutely love what you
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  Speaker 2: women are doing and achieving to help other women. I
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  Speaker 2: also see other women doing all of these amazing and
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  Speaker 2: exciting things on the internet, and I get so jealous.
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  Speaker 2: But I don't think it's jealousy of them in particular,
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  Speaker 2: but it's how I see myself living my life. Another
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  Speaker 2: part is I'm not sure if I'm just having a
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  Speaker 2: crisis because I'm almost thirty and haven't achieved anything I've
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  Speaker 2: wanted to do in my twenties. But I also get
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  Speaker 2: to the end of each year and feel like I've
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  Speaker 2: achieved nothing. I set goals for myself, but very rarely
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  Speaker 2: achieve them, and I know that's on me, but I
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  Speaker 2: just don't know where to start. Most of the time,
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  Speaker 2: I struggle with money, so I feel like every week
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  Speaker 2: is the same. Go to work four thirty am to
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  Speaker 2: six pm every single day. I come home, have dinner,
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  Speaker 2: have a shower, and I get up and I repeat.
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  Speaker 2: When it comes to the weekend, I'm so exhausted that
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  Speaker 2: I don't want to do anything. I'm so sorry. If
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  Speaker 2: this is all over the place. It's pretty much just
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  Speaker 2: word vomit of everything that's in my head with love,
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  Speaker 2: some advice.
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  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. We will literally just talking about this
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  Speaker 1: on the way up. If we weren't doing what we
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  Speaker 1: were doing, what would we be doing? And I was saying,
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  Speaker 1: if I did not meet Steve, I would have just
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  Speaker 1: been in any job to pay the bills, because that's
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  Speaker 1: what I grew up thinking that I just needed to
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  Speaker 1: get a job. I was lucky to have a job,
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  Speaker 1: and you're lucky to be able to pay your bills
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  Speaker 1: because we grew up in survival mode with my family.
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  Speaker 1: We were jumping from farm to farm. We were homeless
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  Speaker 1: at one point. So if you had a roof over
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  Speaker 1: your head and you had a job, you were lucky.
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  Speaker 2: We were lucky.
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  Speaker 1: So if I didn't meet Steve and didn't open my
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  Speaker 1: eyes up to what was possible, I would be feeling
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  Speaker 1: how you're feeling. So thank you for bringing that in
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  Speaker 1: because it's not a nice feeling to be there, and
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  Speaker 1: we've both been there before for sure, and change careers
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  Speaker 1: and change. If you followed me on social media, you've
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  Speaker 1: seen me do many things over my lifetime. I would
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  Speaker 1: love you to ask yourself what it is that you're
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  Speaker 1: really passionate about, Like what lights your heart on fire?
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  Speaker 1: What is it that excites you? And that would be
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  Speaker 1: the first step to then see how I can bring
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  Speaker 1: that into building a career. Because owning a business and
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  Speaker 1: I love that people are sharing their business journey online,
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  Speaker 1: but sometimes I think it is glamorized and people only
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  Speaker 1: posting the highlight reels and showing their cars and their
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  Speaker 1: holidays and all the cool things that comes along with it.
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  Speaker 1: But to be honest, it's a lot of work. Say Baseline,
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  Speaker 1: for example, was so much more of a slog Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: with a big team and we hit one goal, We're
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  Speaker 1: onto the next one. I never celebrated it. It felt
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  Speaker 1: more stressy. It's like a hamster wheel, and there was
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  Speaker 1: exciting moments in it, and there was creativity in it.
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  Speaker 1: There was a lot of things I did love. Actual
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  Speaker 1: logistics of running that brand and running a product based brand.
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  Speaker 1: It's not for me. Even highaway, I don't do that stuff.
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  Speaker 1: Steve does that. It's not for me. And even with
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  Speaker 1: what we're doing, I've been openly communicating with you the
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  Speaker 1: things I do want to do and I don't want
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  Speaker 1: to do and say with you, and we're making sure
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  Speaker 1: everything's flow. But it's very heartlet it's very passion filled.
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  Speaker 1: It's a lot of purpose, It makes a lot of impact,
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  Speaker 1: and that aligns with our values and what lights us up.
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  Speaker 1: So what is it that lights you up? And I
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  Speaker 1: would be going from there. Yeah, that's so well said,
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  Speaker 1: so beautifully said. And you know what I think.
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  Speaker 2: Sometimes these questions can feel a little daunting, and we
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  Speaker 2: put so much pressure on ourselves to get that question right.
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  Speaker 2: There's no right or wrong answer and how to answer
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  Speaker 2: what you're passionate about. It's just genuinely for the first time,
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  Speaker 2: checking in with what actually makes you happy, Like, think
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  Speaker 2: about something that like lights you up and makes you
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  Speaker 2: happy and brings joy to you, makes you smile, like,
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  Speaker 2: think about those things. And it doesn't have to necessarily
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  Speaker 2: make sense to anybody else. And even if you don't
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  Speaker 2: yet know how to answer that question, just try new things.
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  Speaker 2: Lean into rect I have changed careers, like I have
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  Speaker 2: changed underwear me too, Okay, So be willing to try
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  Speaker 2: new things. Because the one thing that I will say
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  Speaker 2: is it doesn't matter what job you have, what role
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  Speaker 2: you have, you will always take skills from each job
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  Speaker 2: and each area that you learn, you will take life
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  Speaker 2: skills that you will always use later on in life.
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  Speaker 2: Definitely things that I learned in modeling, when I did that,
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  Speaker 2: when I did extra work, when I did carpentry, Like,
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  Speaker 2: there are so many things in different traits that I
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  Speaker 2: learned from all of those different areas that allowed me
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  Speaker 2: to be who I am today. And in terms of
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  Speaker 2: like resilience or drive or hard work ethic and things
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  Speaker 2: like that I learned from on the job side that
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  Speaker 2: I implement now. So don't put pressure on yourself to get
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  Speaker 2: it right. Give yourself like an exploration period where you're like,
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  Speaker 2: this is going to be a stepping stone. Whatever I'm
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  Speaker 2: doing right now is a stepping stone to the next thing,
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  Speaker 2: and then the next thing will lead me to the
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  Speaker 2: next thing. And I remember having this mindset when I
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  Speaker 2: was doing traffic control and I knew it was my
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  Speaker 2: temp job. I'm like, this right now is just quote
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  Speaker 2: unquote better money. Yes, And so I was like, cool,
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  Speaker 2: I'm going to use this to invest and I'm going
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  Speaker 2: to use this to get ahead. And then just going Okay,
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  Speaker 2: what's my next stepping stone? What's my next stepping stone? Like,
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  Speaker 2: don't put pressure on yourself to have to figure it out,
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  Speaker 2: but let yourself have fun with it.
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  Speaker 1: We've spoken about this in a previous episode. But when
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  Speaker 1: you're thinking about owning a business, what is it about
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  Speaker 1: owning a business that excites you? Is it because you
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  Speaker 1: think there's more freedom and there's more money, and just
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  Speaker 1: know that it's all a risk as well, Like you
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  Speaker 1: could start one business and do amazing or not do amazing,
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  Speaker 1: and then you might have to pivot again and you'll
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  Speaker 1: have to invest money in So maybe for the next
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  Speaker 1: year you are leaning into things that light you up
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  Speaker 1: and make you happy, or you're researching how you could
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  Speaker 1: get things off the ground, or you're product sampling, or
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  Speaker 1: you're doing courses that will help your skill set in
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  Speaker 1: what you want to do. I think there's a lot
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  Speaker 1: of deeper questions. You've got to ask yourself what exactly
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  Speaker 1: is what you want to do? And if there is
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  Speaker 1: ideas and you haven't taken those steps. Also, why is
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  Speaker 1: there self sabotage? Is there limited beliefs that you can't
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  Speaker 1: do it? Is there roadblocks? What are the roadblocks? Could
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  Speaker 1: you break through those roadblocks? Why have you not taken
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  Speaker 1: that next step? Because if nothing changes, nothing changes. And
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  Speaker 1: if you don't want to be sitting here this time
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  Speaker 1: next year going like, oh my gosh, I've achieved nothing again,
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  Speaker 1: then something needs to change. It needs to alter.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, And to add to that, it's all good and
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  Speaker 2: well to be an ideas woman, but the execution is
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  Speaker 2: what actually matters. Because every single idea that you've had,
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  Speaker 2: I can guarantee you is a good one.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, or maybe.
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  Speaker 2: One out of ten, or nine out of ten, even
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  Speaker 2: all of them are great ideas, but only if you
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  Speaker 2: are passionate enough about it, because I'm sure that they
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  Speaker 2: can all make money. Sure, but if you can find
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  Speaker 2: something that you are passionate about it, it makes doing
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  Speaker 2: the hard work all that much easier. Doesn't feel doesn't
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  Speaker 2: feel like a slog, Yeah, it doesn't feel like that
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  Speaker 2: because you actually, on the days that feel harder, you're like,
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  Speaker 2: but I'm passionate about it, but there's a reason why
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  Speaker 2: I'm doing this. You're not just in it just purely
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  Speaker 2: for the money. Where it's you know, purely money based
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  Speaker 2: of survival. It's so much bigger than yourself. And when
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  Speaker 2: it's so much bigger than yourself, you will be able
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  Speaker 2: to put in the hard yards because it does require
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  Speaker 2: that like what you were saying actually, like it's not
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  Speaker 2: going to give you more freedom like running a business
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  Speaker 2: for the first couple of years, especially in especially Yeah, yeah,
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  Speaker 2: it actually you have less time because when you're money,
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  Speaker 2: when you're the owner, less money. When you're the owner,
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  Speaker 2: you have to take on all of the responsibility, all
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  Speaker 2: of the jobs, all of the little things that nobody
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  Speaker 2: else wants to do. And when you're a sole trader
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  Speaker 2: and you do it on your own, you're a solopreneur,
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  Speaker 2: like you have to do everything. Yeah, so it's just
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  Speaker 2: taking into consideration that is going to be harder before
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  Speaker 2: it gets easier. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: I'd also love to ask to do you not like
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  Speaker 1: your current job, because I say, if you love your
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  Speaker 1: current job, but you feel like not achieving goals or whatever,
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  Speaker 1: could you get your fulfillment outside of your work? Is
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  Speaker 1: the things you would do hobbies or a project that
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: you know partner working on, or something you're working on
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  Speaker 1: within yourself, whether it's a healing journey or a skill
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  Speaker 1: set that you want to learn. Could that be outside
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  Speaker 1: of your work, Like are you attached to having a
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  Speaker 1: business or could it be outside of what you're already doing? Oh,
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  Speaker 1: I like that, Yeah, because sometimes I think, once again,
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  Speaker 1: the business world is glamorized on social media, but it's
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  Speaker 1: not for everyone.
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  Speaker 2: No, it's not.
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  Speaker 1: It really is not for everyone. I honestly would not
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  Speaker 1: be doing it solo. I didn't have you, E didn't
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  Speaker 1: have Steve. I don't think i'd be doing it solo,
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  Speaker 1: just not for me. I have no shame in saying
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  Speaker 1: that I don't enjoy running a business and doing all
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  Speaker 1: those jobs, and I've done plenty of at the start.
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  Speaker 1: When Steve and I first started, we had no idea
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  Speaker 1: what we were doing. We had to learn to do everything.
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  Speaker 1: I fucking hated it. I hated it. Never want to
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  Speaker 1: go back there. Yeah. So yeah, just ask some deeper
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  Speaker 1: questions and I think you'll get some answers. And I
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  Speaker 1: think intuitively, you know, you've got to decide what's actually
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  Speaker 1: worth putting that work in.
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  Speaker 2: Absolutely, And one thing just to mention on the feeling stuck.
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  Speaker 2: We feel stuck when we are stagnant and we are
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  Speaker 2: not moving.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, I feel dead inside when you're making.
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  Speaker 2: Progress because you're I love this saying the mental masturbation
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  Speaker 2: is getting to you. You're thinking about doing, but you're
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  Speaker 2: not actually doing So I want you to write down
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  Speaker 2: a list and just do one to three the top
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  Speaker 2: three things that you are avoiding doing that's great, and
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  Speaker 2: give yourself a time limit. Do those things within twenty
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  Speaker 2: four hours, and trust me, it feel a whole lot better.
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  Speaker 1: And even doing those things, it gives you evidence that
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  Speaker 1: you're capable, which gives you more confidence to take the
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  Speaker 1: bigger leaps. The bigger leaps you take, the more confident
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  Speaker 1: you get, you can Yeah, even.
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  Speaker 2: Further yep, absolutely and making progress. Yes, then you create
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  Speaker 2: your own momentum.
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  Speaker 1: Exactly.
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  Speaker 2: See you moving and taking action is momentum. If you
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  Speaker 2: want to continue to create momentum, you have to continuously
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  Speaker 2: take action.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to start first. I have to start
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  Speaker 1: be okay to fail.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: There's been so many businesses I've done that have not
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  Speaker 1: worked out for whatever reason, but it all led me
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  Speaker 1: to be right here. I am right now. Every single
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  Speaker 1: thing that I've done, I don't take any of it back.
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  Speaker 1: Some of them like, why did they think that was
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  Speaker 1: going to work? Like we had a cafe once, so
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  Speaker 1: I'm like, why do we do that? We were just like,
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: well this would be fun. This act came about we
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: met this couple that loved to it. Just it felt
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  Speaker 1: like it was just flowing. We're like, whoo, why not?
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  Speaker 1: It didn't work out for multiple of reasons, some beyond
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  Speaker 1: it out of out control. It wasn't for us, But
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  Speaker 1: we also learned a lot of skills in that time.
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  Speaker 1: I could have then helped us with our next adventure.
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  Speaker 1: Would use the gym, so there's no regrets. Be okay
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  Speaker 1: to fail, be okay to try new things. But I
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  Speaker 1: think you need to really get some clarity. We just
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  Speaker 1: take the next step. Stop moving, love to hear it. Yeah,
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: thanks for joining us. We hope that helps and we'll
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  Speaker 1: see you in the next episode. Bye bye,