Latest / UNLOADED / Got Your 6: For Chase

Transcript

Got Your 6: For Chase · UNLOADED

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'd like to welcome everyone back to our podcast Unloaded.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is Michael Seahorn.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Shannon Morrow.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: And we are once again back.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of left off last uh episode on a little bit of a little bit of a hanger.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: At least maybe we left off on uh not finishing your thought all the way through, maybe.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: Man, we we didn't even really get going on the original thought.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think it would let in a little bit, like kind of my you know, theoretical thinking too much about, you know, like, man, what is it about, you know, man, I I really care.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm such a hard worker.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: I really show up.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: I, you know, that whole the weight we carry because we just have so much responsibility and so many things we're trying to do for everyone.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: And we where where does all that come from, right?
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, it's there there's some theories around that.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: There is.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um and maybe if I may um kind of ease into the first of these theories.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um have you ever heard the term an introject?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: I I've I've heard the word, but I I you're gonna have to explain it.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what it was really either.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um but it's it's basically almost just a deep core, almost beyond belief.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: Almost like um programming, almost like the So like you're in the matrix.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're deeply programmed in your sleep, but you don't know that you're asleep or you're in the right.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: You don't you're not aware really, but you have such a almost subconsciously programmed in deep like value or belief, you know.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's kind of in certain ways referred to as an introject.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so this is can be, we'll just keep it pretty objective.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of difficult to look at sometimes, but it's very normal, very common.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um very common introject is um if I am valuable, right?
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: If if I work hard enough, if I care for others enough, if I earn my worth, if if I am valuable enough, if I'm good enough, then I will not be rejected.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: I see where you're going with that.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: Most most human beings early in their lives, as children, we all experience different, you know, painful, you know, attachment traumas or forms of rejection, or is it just a normal, everyday really part of human existence?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: So we of course we're gonna get rejected from time to time, and but uh sometimes unfortunately it profoundly affects us, and we there's even this new thing called rejection sensitivity dysphoria.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um we can get more into that or maybe not later, whatever.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: But uh there's it it's quite common, um, and yet there's not a ton of awareness about it.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: We aren't looking at it or talking about it a lot yet, but it's increasing for sure.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um but um many of us are hypersensitive to perceived rejection.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: And and again, this is all very subconscious, it's way down in the psyche.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't anything that we're cognitive of, really.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um but it does really, it can really fuel our behaviors, and um so the you see where I'm going already.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: For example, if we are such a hard-working dude and we're we're always trying so much to show up for everyone and be so helpful, and you know, we're always putting forth so much effort.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: And well, what's under that?
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Why are we, you know, killing ourselves?
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: Why is everything feeling so heavy?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: Why are we uh harming ourselves or you know, just um burning ourselves out, uh trying to, you know, uh be that everything for everyone was the phrase.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: And um there is the theory that uh unconsciously underneath that is the introject.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: If I am valuable, then I won't be rejected.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's uh that's a heck of a thing to think about.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, I thanks for finally allowing me to yeah, go there, man.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: I do, I I appreciate that.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I think our listeners know by now I'm I'm I'm pretty pretty deeply rooted in in the meditative world, especially in the Buddhist traditions, and I definitely love philosophy of all kinds.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: So uh this is very interesting to me because I can 100% say with certainty that I see this a lot.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it is deeply rooted in most people.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: I see it uh in my uh current profession, I've seen it with my own children, I've seen it with uh other family members, and I think it's a profound thing to think about because you are going to get rejected.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care how hard you work, I don't care what you look like, I don't care how fit you are, I don't care if you're 1% body fat or 100% body fat, at some point, we all are going to get rejected, like you said.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, thank you.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm even gonna further that rejection serves.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: We wouldn't not want to be rejected truly, like if we can allow for just a zoom way out and more objectively, like we uh we when we are shopping, we we reject everything except the one thing that we buy, or like which shampoo are we gonna buy, or for example, or you know, we we wouldn't want to be chosen for everything all the time, like no, no, no, please, Mike, nope, Mike's not the dude.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, thank God, I'm not the dude for that, right?
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, that's that's that's valid.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I was just sitting here thinking, you know, if you interview this look at it from a little simpler term, it's almost to the level where, okay, I think that I'm smart enough or intelligent enough to be an engineer.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just using this as an example.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I would hope, for everyone's sake, that when I go into the interview, they look at my education, they look at my experience, and they look at me and they say, Mike, it appears that you are great at a whole lot of things in life.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: Engineer's not one of them.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: You you don't have the the you don't have the background for it, you don't have the experience or education for it.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um we like you, you're a great person, but you're not gonna be an engineer, all right.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Conversely, it's I don't want I would hate someone to go, come on in.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: We got it, we got a desk down hall for you, man.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: And just just go ahead and get right at it.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: We'll leave some plans on the desk there and uh let me know what you come up with.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: So it is a very profound think of to think about because at the root of it, you are correct, is most people, and I just use the word most, most people don't want to go through rejection.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: They don't want to feel rejection, they don't like how it feels, it's uncomfortable, it makes us feel like crap, right?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Makes you feel less than sometimes, depending on how you're receiving it.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: Old associations, even often as far back as our childhood, that deep down in our psyche, not not as cognitively accessible, but where the emotions often originate, if there's a quite a um profound negative, painful emotion of rejection, and then we will carry that association into all sorts of stuff, even present day.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's why even in our previous podcast, when you are dealing with your employees or whoever that's pretty triggered, pretty heightened, has a lot of emotion that they're you know blasting at you and stuff, uh well, what's under there?
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's there, you know, that that's one of them.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: There's there's several others, but a large uh driver for most of us that we don't aren't haven't really been looking at or a little bit, is that um hypersensitivity to perceived rejection.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so we overcompensate for that.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: We are then okay, how do I make myself valuable enough to not feel or like that I could be rejected, you know?
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, if I work hard enough, if I do enough, if I show, if I'm good enough, if I'm pretty enough, if I'm valuable and let me, you know, like then, oh, I won't get rejected because they need me, right?
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: And uh, but then that leads into the problematic thought, you know, well, I can be valuable by being helpful, right?
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, and I mean we can get into that more later, maybe, but um I just want to move into the kind of the the result of that, then is very common, never feeling good enough because we are attempting to earn our worth.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: We are attempting to just uh yeah, that that's it.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: We we're uh trying to earn our worth.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: And yet, can we really work hard enough to feel worthy?
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: Can we really um be good enough to be valued?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: Uh maybe some can sometimes, some cases, yeah, that's how it works.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but in a lot of other ways, uh that's it doesn't quite work that way, and so that very common, ever-present gnawing deep down within us of not quite there, man, not quite good enough, come on, like, and then that self-criticism that enters, and and that whole cycle that many of us experience of working as hard as we can, but still not feeling ever that we're quite reaching the mark, and then what that does to our own, you know, our self-value, our self-esteem, our self-criticism, you know, and how that can cycle around.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a common thing that many of us struggle with, it creates a lot of that weight, even though we're busting our ass.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I can definitely tell.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: Uh move your mic just a little bit to your right.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: There you go.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Sham thanks.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Uh just we were you were fading out on us.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to make sure we're bringing it back in.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's an interesting thing because I I see it a lot in how people talk about themselves.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: I think in what I have seen in my own personal spaces, I I generally see both ends of that spectrum.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Usually see the guy that's got super high ego, super high, a little bit narcissistic in their ways, but a lot of ego, a lot of nobody better than me, I'm the best that's ever been.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I've also seen the complete opposite spectrum where you have the person where, like, no matter what I do, it's never enough.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: So those are those two huge sways in the spectrum that I've seen.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: And what you're talking about is when you're trying to, I mean, you're you're not even trying to be in the middle, you're just trying to prove to something or someone that you've got enough worth or value that then in return they're they're giving you something back that's feeding that, right?
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: Their validation, exactly.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that's hard because I saw that a lot early on in my fitness days.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Right when I was helping people lose weight and I was helping people get into the gym and eat better, exercise, and and do all the good things.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: I I mean, it even happened to me personally at some point where it was like I can't lose enough body fat, right?
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Or I can't get my muscles big enough.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: So you're you're stuck in this cyclic existence that I talk a lot about, right?
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: You're just in this damn circle or hamster wheel and you're just going around and around and around.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: And man, I'll tell you this that's a that's a bad place to be.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because it it it causes so much deep suffering within ourselves.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: You never arrive.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: You you can't.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because, like Shannon's saying is if you're constantly feeding, if I just do a little bit more than I'll be, and you can fill in the blank, liked, loved, uh, more value.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna get a promotion, or you know, I'm gonna get I'm gonna get the guy, or I'm gonna get the girl, or I'm gonna get the whatever, right?
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'll feel better about myself.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'll I'll feel more content or happier or at peace or satisfied, or you know what, and why would then why is that so elusive?
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because inevitably the person or the thing that they're that's they're getting that from, it's gonna stop.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's reality.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, as a leader and uh and as a vice president or um as a business owner, you can only give so much.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: So if if the person on the other end is constantly needing that uh feedback or affirmation or constant you're doing a great job, you can't do that.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: Uh at some level, you just can't do that because you're spread amongst 30 people, 20 people, 100 people, uh maybe just two people.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: So they're not going to get that constant value out of you where you're just constantly patting them on the back every day, tell them how wonderful they are.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's not the world we live in.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: So inevitably, you're just going to continually feel that rejection, right?
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: Some, I mean, again, very case by case.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: And for some, a little goes a long ways, you know, just a little at a boy, you know.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I guess I was maybe more um uh speaking to our um our our own um internal experience of that, you know.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um the the whole reason this podcast was created, you know, unloaded, the weight we carry, what is that weight that feels so heavy that gets so hard to bear?
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I definitely think over the last 20 plus episodes, I think we've we've probably touched on a lot of people.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: At risk of yeah, we get too we repetitive here.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, listeners.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no, no.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't mean that in a sarcastic way.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: I I think that if you listen to the last 20 plus episodes of Shannon and I, even the earlier episodes when we were laying the groundwork, is we we talk about, and it's in the logo, we talk about this backpack that we all have, right?
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that we're just stuffing things in that backpack.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: And those things can be anything, it's not a certain thing, it's not not getting validated at work, it's not I'm not getting validated by my spouse or my uh best friend or my brother or sister, or I'm not getting enough attaboys because I'm working my tail to the bone and I feel like they don't appreciate it.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna go somewhere else and go work for another company.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Your backpack is a container for life.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's what you're going through every fucking day, day in and day out, whatever it is you're doing on the planet Earth.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care what it is, I don't care if you're a you're a dude that just you get paid to serve.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_00: God bless you.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: God bless you for that.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you're a a lady out there or a dude that you get paid to serve, God man, high five.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: High five to you.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm envious a little bit on that.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: But I don't care what you're doing on the planet, we all have that backpack, man, and we're all shoving different shit in that backpack.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: My backpack will look drastically different from Shannon's, right?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: My backpack's gonna look drastically different from my wife and my children and my owner, or who I work for.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's gonna be real hard for us, or for me for sure, to really just put my thumb and say, hey man, the weight you carry is this.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: Life itself is weight.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: And when we created this podcast, my ultimate goal was if one person, one single person out there that has listened at some point to this podcast, feels a little less alone in the world and they feel a little less by themselves, I have accomplished what I wanted this podcast to do.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because I felt like there are so many people that are dealing with so many things and they have no outlet for whatever reason.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: They're scared to get help, they're scared to ask for help, they don't know where to go for help, they feel like, oh, I'm the only one that feels this.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I think you and I talked in great detail about how many people feel and deal with the stuff that you and I talk about behind closed doors every session for over the last decade.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for that.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so, man, I I don't know if if it was maybe a bit much for me to push a little deeper down, like where what what the stuff in the backpack, proverbally, um why is it so heavy?
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: And um is there a way because you're right, it life gets heavy, just the day in and day out of just getting through each day, each week, each month, making ends meet, and just showing up, you know, keeping going.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um I know where you're going with this, and and I think I I I understand now after 20 minutes of talking about what you were talking about earlier in the show.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: This is such an independent thing per person.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if there's I don't know if there the English language is even capable of explaining what I think you're trying to pull out.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because I can see it on Shannon's face.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: He's a deep thinker and I love him for that and I appreciate that.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: What we've been talking about, the the uh the approvial weight in our our backpacks or in your safe or wherever you put your weight, it's gonna be very hard to put your thumb on that sometimes because I'll tell you, there are days, man, when I get up, I'm going through my morning, things that I do in the morning, my rituals, and um just some days I'm I'm spot on, some days I'm not, most days I am.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: Some days I wake up and I feel heavy, but I cannot put a finger on what that heaviness is, even after meditating, even after journaling and reading, and I'm on the way with everyone else on the way to the office, right?
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: You just feel like there's something there, and you can you just there's no words for it, man.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: You can't pull it out.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't know what that is, but what I do know is if I feel that too many days in a row, then I have to stop and I have to get into a different place to see if I can figure that out.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: Nice, thank you, man.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's a great marker, just a measurement, really.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because everyone I believe we have those days, it's part of the human experience.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's just some days are hard.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: We feel low, it's just uh that emptiness, that sadness, whatever it is that we're carrying.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: And can't even, like you said, put our finger on, we're just like, uh, just hard day.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: And uh that's okay.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: That's normal actually for everyone.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yet if it's three, four, five, six days in a row, two weeks straight of that same, you know, a month or two of just, you know, it turns into even like clinical depression or whatever, that is a very good measurement.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: If it continues, if it persists abnormally long, please, please, please let that be an indicator to you.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: Something's off.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: Something's not.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: Let's this is where, as Michael continues to encourage everyone, like, man, don't don't keep.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Go in this alone, please reach out.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: Please, if you are in crisis, of course, he mentions at the end of every podcast.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: We'll get into more of that later.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: I want to ask him about that, you know, because it's important, you know.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: Please, if you're in a mental health crisis, 988 is always there, 24-7.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's maybe not quite a crisis, but you've been feeling uh just getting your ass kicked for weeks at a time, low, sad, depressed for weeks now, what you know, or angry or disconnected, or just grindy, you know.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: Man, you don't have to keep trying to tough that out or tolerate or doing it by yourself.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: Please, man.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_01: There's there's professionals who really are educated, trained, skilled at helping people through those times, pulling them out, getting them back on track, you know, back to their normal baseline, even and raising that baseline, like Michael's very much experienced, you know, to being considerably a different individual these days, you know, comparatively in 10, 15 years ago.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: So um, yeah, thank you for that just basic measurement.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you the one thing I hope that some people get out of this podcast is that I really would just hope that more people take care of themselves, that you focus on yourself.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's no different from the stupid airlines when we're all sitting there and we just want to get to our destination and they're going through all the damn things.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: Get your card out, look at this.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: Here's how you fasten your seatbelt.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, by the way, when the mask falls out of the ceiling, put your shit on first.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: The army and all the rest of the branches tell you the same thing.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: You put your own damn gas mask on first, then you can help your buddy, right?
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: I think life is the same.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: I am no good to anybody, man, if I'm all effed up, bro.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can try, and and you you could fake it quite a bit and get through it, I'm sure, because we've all done that, but not for a length of time.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: You have to take care of yourself, man.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: You do.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: You just gotta have some self-care, man.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay for you to be like, you know what, bro?
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna stay home today because I'm not a hundred percent, and maybe I'm not gonna do anything today.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: And which some irony in that statement, because I can already hear my family going, Yeah, you should probably practice that, you know what I mean?
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm not one that sits around a lot.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: But there are times when I know my indicators is is blinking, that the alarm's going off, and as hard as it is, I want to go home and get in the shop and do all these things, I have to say no.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: Today, I'm gonna go sit in my home office.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I play a game, maybe I read a book.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna do anything until I just take a couple hours for me, and whatever you do in those few hours, good for you.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, beautiful, man.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's our whole point.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's one of our biggest messages that we continue to try to drive home.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because even though we know this, we still from time to time catch ourselves working so hard, getting so burned out, just trying too much to just uh sh, you know, do all the things and then wondering why we're so grumpy or so burned out and so just uh on edge because we're trying to be all the things to all the people and earn our worth or get some of that external validation because we have forgotten.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, wait, no, no, no, no.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: We we don't really want to be outsourcing that.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: We really want to be able to return to ourselves, provide that for ourselves, like first and foremost, take care of ourselves, and it is such a valuable reminder to oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: I I I forgot once again, old stuff.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm out there trying to earn it, trying to be good enough.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: But once again, that doesn't ever really work.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so to return to self, oh, I like myself.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I I believe I'm valuable, I I'm good enough and provide that for ourselves, and then we're suddenly we have some extra energy.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_01: We we aren't as grindy or burned out, or we're in better mood, we're feeling a little lighter, and uh it makes such a difference.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it does.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: So you said you you had a question for me?
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, how much time do we got?
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: Four minutes.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: What was your question?
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: At the end of almost every podcast, you uh very distinctly, hey, if you know, if you're in specifically a mental health crisis, specifically if you're feeling suicidal, please, please, please, please, please reach out.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: Don't don't go that alone, man.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: And uh that's that's so important to you.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I just was kind of curious, like, huh.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: Wonder what's under that.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: I uh, you know, you've you've touched upon very lightly, you've indicated, you know, kind of some of the darker places you were in your life ten, fifteen years ago, you know, and uh and but that's a very important message that you uh continue uh to relay to others.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: And uh was kind of curious about the origins of that.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, uh I'm not gonna go into uh in uh the greatest amount of detail on this, but I'm I'm just gonna touch on it.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_00: And we can come back to this uh maybe next week or the next episode is if you all go out there uh to the unloadedpodcast.com, that's our website, you're gonna see uh two very wriggly handsome gentlemen uh on the uh on that on the on our uh on our page.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um if you look closely um at the artwork that I have on my uh arms on the right arm I have a giant six, and in the middle of the six it says got your so it says got your six.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: That is uh a thing that's in the military where uh when someone says, Hey, I got your six, it just means they have your back.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: That means you you know that you don't have to turn around and keep looking over your shoulder, that your partner's got your back, okay?
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: That evolved into the world of veteran suicide, and it became a huge uh uh staple, if you will, of the 22 veterans that commit suicide every single day.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: I've experienced that personally with a very close friend of mine.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, he decided he was going to take his life, and uh, from that moment forward, I wanted to make sure that every single veteran out there knew if they saw me and they seen this tattoo, that they would be like, Hey man, I I I see that tattoo got your six.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: Can whatever happens after that.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: I just wanted people to know like there are people out here, man, that are truly for the human population.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't matter if you're a veteran, I don't care what your political status is, I don't really give two shits about any of that.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: What I care about is that if you're in a place and you need help, I got your six.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's where that's rooted into, man.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Michael.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: I so appreciate that, man.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: Your your own personal experience of losing a close friend to suicide has made this so important to you that at the end of almost every episode, you're like, hey man, please, please, please reach out.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: There's really good professional help out there.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: Don't, don't, please don't take your life, don't do anything drastic in your lowest time.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: You know, um keep going, man.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: So that's where it comes from.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, man.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate that.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: You're welcome.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for the ask.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: Uh as usual, uh, we have come to an end of another episode here on Unloaded, and um, I think Shannon's talked about it in great detail today.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if you do need help, it's out there 988.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: He's already talked about that.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh appreciate everybody that listens to us.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: I really do, man.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: It means the world to me.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure it means the world to Shannon.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_00: I won't talk for him personally.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and if you are experiencing anything, I don't care what it is, man.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: Just ask somebody for some help, man.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: Just have a conversation.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: But unfortunately for me, uh, this is Mike Seahorn.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: Shannon Mora.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: And we will catch you on our next episode.