Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / Bonus Episode: The Surfer

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Bonus Episode: The Surfer · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

0:01
Oh, God. Oh, my God. Okay. Well, should we start
0:24
it off with a little surfer suffer? Surfer suffer.
0:29
Surfer, suffer, surfer, suffer, surfer, suffer.
0:33
You guys were practicing that while I was walking
0:35
my dogs, weren't you? No, this is just straight,
0:38
straight natural quality stuff. Yeah. Oh, my
0:41
God. Being in a cult is awesome. Yeah, cults
0:45
are great. Things have changed up there since
0:47
I moved. They're only getting better. The cult
0:50
of Seattle. Yeah. I mean, at least you guys will
0:54
have like better skin than all those guys on
0:57
the Australian beach. man yeah everyone looks
1:01
pretty fucking terrible yeah no i mean fucking
1:03
when you live like six inches from the sun yeah
1:06
your skin's gonna look like a fucking uh old
1:08
leather handbag yeah it's pretty rough i worked
1:11
with someone from um she's from hawaii and she
1:14
was older than me and the hands were the things
1:16
that gave it away like her hands look ragged
1:18
and then she had like a line like a the opposite
1:21
of a sleeve tattoo right like that's where her
1:23
wetsuit or whatever would Yeah, like the part
1:27
of her that had been in the sun in Hawaii all
1:29
the time was just wrecked. You look old as fuck.
1:33
It's like when you see a truck driver and their
1:35
left arm is all fucked up. Oh man, I get driving
1:38
tan like nobody's business. I used to a lot worse
1:42
because I'd have to drive to Portland all the
1:44
time. Yeah. A lot less time in the sun nowadays.
1:47
Now I just live underground. It's pretty cool.
1:50
Mole people. Like, I mean, those are your people,
1:53
Nick. Truck drivers are mole people. both actually
1:58
truck driving mold people there we go the common
2:01
thread just uh isolation i was gonna say chronic
2:06
masturbators but similar similar vibe yeah speak
2:10
speaking of nicks oh my god it's been it's been
2:13
wall to wall like nicks and like nicks and jicks
2:16
nicks and jicks and brads for the last uh last
2:20
like two weeks it's just like every every time
2:23
i turn around y 'all look alike oh speaking of
2:27
jicks my phone now auto -corrects nick to jick
2:29
perfect as it should be yeah so in case any of
2:33
us forgot we're here talking about nicholas cage's
2:35
the surfer as this is cage match colon a roundabout
2:38
way of meeting nicholas cage where we used to
2:41
take two nicholas cage movies uh set them up
2:44
uh against each other and decide what was the
2:46
better one um but we're done with all that now
2:49
so now we're just talking about random nicholas
2:50
cage stuff Yeah, exactly. You forgot that intro
2:53
real fast. It's amazing what goes out of your
2:56
brain. It's been I haven't had to do it in a
3:00
while. That's true. And who are you? Who are
3:03
any of us? I'm Nick. I'm Sean. And hi, I'm producer
3:10
Peter. And we're joined with our cage dancer
3:12
extra guest here, John, who got to see us see
3:16
this movie with us in the movie theater, which
3:18
was always a good experience. Yeah, right, right.
3:21
Do you see regrettable? No. Tell us. Give us
3:25
a plot summary of the surfer, John. So Nick Cage
3:28
is I would call him an American, but he grew
3:31
up in Australia, sort of. He's the way around.
3:37
He's an Australian who grew up in America. Right.
3:40
Yeah, you're right. It's early. Or is it going
3:45
to that into the movie? Yeah, right, right. The
3:49
movie. Anyway, so he decides he really wants
3:54
to buy his dad's old house that he was, I don't
3:57
know, he didn't totally move it away or his dad.
4:00
I don't remember exactly what. It was like his
4:03
grandpa's house or something like his grandpa
4:05
built the house, I think was the whole concept,
4:07
which is why he really wanted it back. But OK,
4:10
yeah, but it seemed like he'd been working a
4:12
long time to get that house like it had been
4:14
like a. driven goal right yeah it's next to this
4:16
beach where he used to surf with his dad and
4:19
he wants to bring his son there and surf with
4:21
them and you know recreate his experience with
4:24
his dad with his son right there's a lot of dads
4:27
want to do but there's a bunch of local aussies
4:31
there who basically say you know localism you
4:34
know locals only that kind of crap don't live
4:37
here can't surf here that was pretty good yeah
4:41
thank you so They kick him off, but he is bound
4:46
and determined to go surfing, I guess. Mostly
4:52
just to fuck with those guys, it seems like.
4:54
Yeah, it seemed more principled after a certain
4:56
level. Yeah, definitely. And he slowly, his obsession
5:02
slowly turns into madness where he starts to
5:06
question reality and who he is. Spoilers are
5:11
fine, right? Oh, yeah. That's what I thought.
5:13
We're doing full spoilers in this one. Yeah,
5:15
I was like, I've definitely never listened to
5:17
this podcast. But in the end, we find out that
5:21
the locals are actually led. Well, we know they're
5:25
led by this guy who's like a cult leader is a
5:30
tough way to put it. Guru is, I think, good.
5:34
yeah there's like weird leadership masculine
5:37
toxic masculinity guru asshat anyway so it turns
5:40
out that he's been actually grooming cage the
5:43
whole time and it's all been a test uh manliness
5:47
of will like i can't that was the part that i'm
5:49
like i don't know yeah um and then oh there's
5:55
a homeless guy that comes back at the end and
5:58
kills the bad guy and then well there's no and
6:04
then after that that's it and then credits yeah
6:09
i mean that's a pretty good good representation
6:11
of the movie i mean i think that it's not well
6:14
it was a good summary of the movie at least like
6:17
that is what happens i i liked the the descent
6:21
into madness shit i think that was the most well
6:24
executed piece of this entire thing and like
6:27
all the crazy australian bugs and critters like
6:32
cut in there the kookaburra like laughing its
6:34
ass off at him oh yeah that was pretty nice never
6:37
got the lizard isn't there a lizard that popped
6:39
up at least like two or three times yeah there's
6:42
some kind of lizard yeah yeah and they were snakes
6:44
is australia the one where it has the lizard
6:46
that like shoots blood out of its eyes probably
6:48
i think so it is a hellscape it is a hellscape
6:51
exactly there's definitely that the spider like
6:54
pedipalps oh yeah that one was pretty cool yeah
6:57
the uh the snake um bit nick cage i read Oh,
7:02
shit. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Actually bit him. So
7:05
what did you guys just think? Like, what's your
7:08
just quick, like, yay or nay? Like, did you enjoy
7:12
this film? Oh, I loved it. I thought it was great.
7:16
I, you know, I get into, you know, movies that
7:20
make me heightened anxiety and whatnot or play
7:24
on my heightened anxiety. And this did it. It
7:27
was nice. It was nice to be, you know, uncomfortable
7:29
and anxious. I didn't know how to prepare for
7:34
this movie, but it is one that is like kind of
7:36
stuck in my brain now. I don't know how soon
7:39
I'm going to watch it again, but I would watch
7:41
it again. I liked the kind of visceral depiction
7:45
of the elements that he was kind of left in everything
7:49
from how the heat was affecting him, the dehydration.
7:55
just some of the poop water yeah the the weird
7:57
backdrops the poop water the the barking dog
8:01
the the when he woke up next to a condom and
8:06
a crack pipe that was pretty funny it really
8:10
kind of paints you know that coastal kind of
8:15
disregard that you know juvenile surf area very
8:21
well Why did he take his shoes off in the bathroom?
8:26
He was just kind of generally cleaning himself
8:29
up. Yeah, he had a bunch of sand in his shoes.
8:31
But he took the shoes off and then went and took
8:33
a shit. Like, put your shoes back on, dude. Yeah.
8:36
I mean, who do you think you are, RFK? That's
8:40
how you get brain worms, man. I really enjoyed
8:45
this film from, like, fucking start to finish.
8:48
It was weird, but I had so much fun questioning
8:53
reality along with Nicolas Cage this whole time.
8:57
Yeah, the way the scenes kind of depicting, you
9:02
know, the past with his father, the future with
9:04
the homeless guy, and then the current with Nicolas
9:08
Cage really kind of did a good job of, like,
9:14
bending your mind around like what is real what
9:18
isn't real yeah like what's now what what are
9:21
we seeing right like when that cop is fucking
9:22
with him and he's like get back in your old beat
9:24
-up car you know yeah you had i told you to get
9:27
this thing out of here oh my god this was is
9:28
this actually his car this was gas lighting to
9:31
like a tea i love it so in the film there is
9:35
um a homeless man who's walking around the parking
9:39
lot where nick cages parked his car his like
9:41
expensive car because nick cages In business,
9:44
just generic businessman. Nice car, nice watch,
9:48
nice suit. And there's this old homeless guy
9:52
who's handing out flyers for his dead dog because
9:54
he blames the lead surfer. Played by Dr. Doom
9:58
himself, Julian McMahon. Yeah. Scally. Handing
10:02
out flyers for his dead dog or his lost dog that
10:05
Gally had apparently killed. And then, yeah,
10:09
there's. The scene in the bathroom where Nick
10:11
Cage goes in the bathroom after spending the
10:13
night in his car. I think his battery's dead.
10:16
His car battery's dead. Takes his shoes off,
10:20
gets a sand out, like takes his jacket off, like
10:22
lays it on the sink and goes to like take a shit.
10:26
The homeless guy comes in, like drop something,
10:29
hide something in the other stall above the other
10:31
stall and says something like it's yours now
10:32
and then like runs off. And then like we don't
10:35
see the homeless guy again till the end of the
10:37
movie. So. nick cage's car gets like taken away
10:41
so all that's left is the old beater that he
10:44
starts sleeping in and it's a certain point i'm
10:45
like has any of this been real yeah it's a very
10:49
unreliable narrator tyler durden feeling kind
10:53
of situation there's a good chunk of the film
10:55
where i'm like none of this like he's just been
10:59
insane the whole time this is just like yeah
11:01
he doesn't have a son you know none of this shit
11:03
like yeah have you all read or um listened to
11:07
or seen uh american gods so there's that whole
11:11
side storyline about um he's uh i don't remember
11:15
what he does he like sells like tchotchkes or
11:19
some shit but then he ends up hooking up with
11:21
like a taxi driver uh and then wakes up and the
11:25
taxi driver is gone and he's switched lives with
11:27
the taxi driver he is the taxi driver is that
11:30
the genie yeah But this like my mind went to
11:35
that, you know, halfway through this movie or
11:37
so. Not the case, though. Nope. Nope. It's just
11:41
a bunch of real asshole people fucking with a
11:43
guy making him feel crazy. I love that the entire
11:46
community is in on it, like straight up down
11:49
to the poop bag lady. Poop bag lady. Yeah. And
11:52
then there's like the guy in the coffee line
11:54
as he's walking away, just knocks the coffee
11:56
out. Coffee's for locals only. Fuck everybody
12:00
here. Yeah, that was a good Glenn Gary Glenn
12:05
Ross moment for me. Coffee is for closers. Well,
12:10
because like at that point, you're not sure if
12:12
any we think of we've seen of Nicolas Cage is
12:15
real. So they're just like, are they like they're
12:17
just treating a homeless man terribly? Yeah.
12:20
But he's also clearly terribly or appropriately
12:24
dangerous and antagonistic to this community.
12:28
So it really isn't until. when he has his car
12:32
and he's getting to jump there's this um photographer
12:35
this woman is uh taking photos that he asked
12:38
to help jump uh his car they have a nice moment
12:41
they have a chat she takes some photos of him
12:42
uh he sees her later and like approaches her
12:45
and i am so uncomfortable because i'm like did
12:49
did that interaction ever happen is is this real
12:52
is this just going to be one of those like is
12:55
this going to be a vampire's kiss moment where
12:57
he sees uh what's her name at the club but she's
13:00
never actually met him but now though uh she
13:04
remembers him and even has photos of him um which
13:07
i don't remember the line but it stuck with me
13:09
it's something along the lines of i have a car
13:11
i have a car i'm real i exist yeah um and then
13:17
it's like okay so no they are just fucking with
13:20
them just i love that what they wrote on the
13:23
side of his car was just like kook kook yeah
13:25
it's like oh you fucking roast him that may be
13:29
like some big slur yeah it's like the worst thing
13:32
you can say in australia we're about to get this
13:34
podcast removed from australia internet no both
13:37
our listeners you don't have two listeners in
13:40
australia we don't we don't have a single listener
13:44
in australia yet uh In Australian slang, a kook
13:50
refers to someone who is perceived as foolish,
13:52
strange or eccentric. Well, that's just fucking
13:54
everywhere. That's the same. Cool. I like that
13:59
they wrote it in like surfer wax, like surfboard
14:02
wax. It's often used to describe a surfer who
14:05
lacks skill. Oh, so there is some context. Yeah.
14:10
OK, so let's talk about the actual like breakdown
14:13
freak out running to the beach scene. there at
14:17
the end leading up towards the end yeah so okay
14:21
well it all begins when he catches a rat and
14:26
fucking whacks it off onto the car stops it in
14:30
his pocket and pocket rat for later uh -huh gotta
14:33
have a pocket rat that was my thought like pocket
14:35
rat smart yeah good good to have way to be you
14:39
gotta keep your resources tight when you're homeless
14:42
yeah Well, he doesn't immediately pocket it.
14:44
He chucks it into the bush and then goes and
14:47
retrieves it later when he's looking for food.
14:49
Yeah, then it's been sunbaked. Yeah, which he
14:53
did. He did like take a good bite out of it,
14:55
too, before he pockets it. Dry, different quality.
14:59
There you go. Yeah. Wet aged. Gross. That's not
15:03
a thing. Wet aged meats. Rotting. Yeah. But then
15:10
he gets like. Oh, man, he does get some good
15:12
hits on that one dude who beats up those teens
15:17
kind of on the way down. Well, yeah, he shoves
15:20
them out of the way. They had it fucking coming.
15:22
And then I love that he uses the locals only
15:24
sign. Yeah, and just smacks that dude who headbutted
15:29
him or whatever earlier. That was good. That
15:32
was a good little tussle. The guy's name like
15:34
beef or something. beefaroni yeah i hope his
15:38
name was beef uh but yeah then he gets sort of
15:42
indoctrinated into this group and it's all revealed
15:44
right like yeah we've been fucking with you and
15:46
i love that scene where he's just looking up
15:48
at them and it's like all wavy and he's just
15:49
ha ha good one yeah no he's not like he's on
15:54
the drug trip and it's uh the guy who's like
15:56
he almost drowned and shoved the rat in his mouth
15:59
is uh works for the bank and is gonna get him
16:02
his loan This movie's fucking weird. It is very
16:05
bizarre. Truman Show -ish. Yeah. It's during
16:07
the drug trip scene. I think Nick will get this.
16:11
I don't know, Peter or John, you'll understand
16:13
the reference, but I've been watching a lot of
16:14
Auntie Donna lately, just going back down that
16:16
rabbit hole. Been watching Auntie Donna's Coffee
16:20
Cafe, which is the most Australian thing I've
16:22
ever seen. But during that drug trip scene where
16:24
it's just like quick faces going around, I have
16:27
expected to see like the Auntie Donna crew and
16:30
just like. here auntie donuts and like this would
16:33
be a great that was a great bit this was awesome
16:36
that was a great like hour and a half joke it's
16:41
a very specific reference that very few people
16:43
will get but uh that's where i was at in this
16:45
film our australian listeners will know yeah
16:47
yeah so yeah this film when so after the drug
16:52
trip after like it's shown that uh they've just
16:55
been like they've been soft they've been uh they've
16:58
been toughening him up he like We cut to the
17:01
next day after the and he's he's got his own
17:03
like fucking snuggie like sun poncho. I love
17:08
the fucking terrycloth. Yeah. Slanket. And he's
17:15
just like part of their crew now, but he still
17:17
can't surf until he proves himself and has to
17:20
like burn the old guy's car. Who was an actual
17:24
real person. Yeah. Well, because at that point
17:27
we like. his car has been returned and like everything,
17:30
everything's okay. Yeah. They just had it at
17:33
the shop tuning it up. Yeah. And, uh, his son
17:38
shows up right as right after they light the
17:41
car on fire. Um, the son seems kind of like disturbed
17:45
for a second, but quickly is on board. Cause
17:48
I don't think the kid was on board. I think he
17:50
was in a situation where it's like, oh, my dad's
17:53
part of like some wild cult. He's been missing
17:55
for days. It's Christmas. And now here he is
17:59
burning somebody's car in front of them. I'm
18:02
just saying the kid had the option to just nope
18:04
out of there and be like, oh, we're going to
18:05
talk later. Yeah, I mean, that's a whole recurring
18:08
question. I had the whole movie, too, is why
18:10
doesn't Nick Cage nope out of there? Like where
18:13
where like I understand he's obsessed, but at
18:15
some point. Well, they take his car after the
18:18
second day. It's not like he's there that long
18:20
before they take his car. He could have walked
18:22
for sure. They allude to it when he's watching,
18:25
like when he's doing his background check on
18:27
Scali. It's like some monk thing, like initiation,
18:35
where it's like, oh, you have to stand at the
18:37
gates for seven days and seven nights. And, you
18:41
know, no matter how many times they deny you
18:43
entry, you have to stay there. this and that
18:46
to become like indoctrinated so it was just that
18:50
situation taken away from you know its original
18:53
context and then placed into what was happening
18:57
with this surf crew yeah so if he had left he
19:00
never would have been able to have the house
19:03
he never would have had the beach i think also
19:06
at that point he started to become dehydrated
19:08
and like not starting losing it yeah do you think
19:12
all the bugs that flew on the actors faces were
19:14
real Or CGI'd in there. It's Australia, man.
19:18
Everything is like that all the time. It's amazing
19:20
how little reaction anyone gives as a fly just
19:23
like fucking hits you in the cheek. Yeah, lands
19:25
on your eyeball. Yeah, right. Was this actually
19:27
filmed in Australia? I would think so. That's
19:33
a great question. It's just a beach. Yeah, it
19:34
could just be a beach. It seems odd to like not
19:37
film in Australia and have like an entire Australian
19:39
cast. Well, it's interesting because the director's
19:42
Irish, so. Yeah. the community known for their
19:46
surfing yeah they have fucking great surfers
19:48
how those bay boys galway bay boys um one of
19:55
the things that i picked up on and was really
19:57
sad didn't pay off was fairly early in the movie
20:01
nick cage asked his son he's like hey what are
20:03
you guys doing for christmas or you're coming
20:04
to me for christmas eve and then going with your
20:07
mom for christmas negotiating the whole uh you
20:10
know dual custody thing um and he's like no we're
20:14
going to a barbecue for christmas and then shortly
20:16
thereafter the surfer dudes are having a barbecue
20:21
down on the beach and i'm like oh no way is she
20:24
dating scully or some shit there's also mention
20:26
of a new bow um and it never paid off and i was
20:30
so sad i really want her to be fucking scully
20:34
that would have been great it would have added
20:36
to the mind fuckery certainly yeah yeah You brought
20:40
up the terrycloth robes. I thought those were
20:41
kind of fun. Yeah, obviously. I do want one now
20:44
so I can just walk around the house. It's like
20:46
the least manly looking thing for like the manliest
20:50
character. Again, I think it's I think it's more
20:54
for UV protection and like staying out of the
20:59
sun. It's for religious iconography, I think.
21:02
Yeah. Well, yeah, I'm sure there's practical
21:04
uses for it, but it's fun to say it looks like
21:06
a silly poncho. And then Nick Cage gets his own.
21:11
Yeah. It reminds me with like the hood and everything
21:15
of my dog's bathrobe. Yeah. Because it's just
21:19
a little hooded bathrobe. Oh. Made of towel.
21:24
Why don't we just call them towel robes? It's
21:26
the same thing. Yeah, I don't know. It's a good
21:28
question. I mean, they're not all made of terrycloth.
21:32
Some are very plush. Like the ones you steal
21:35
from hotels. I know, but the ones that are made
21:38
from terrycloth, why is there a different word
21:40
for terrycloth, I guess is what I'm saying. Because
21:42
the English language is awful. Yeah. Not the
21:46
worst. I'm going to start doing that, though.
21:50
Terrycloth robe on the beach? Yeah. Hell yeah.
21:53
I'm going to go grab my terrycloth sheet after
21:55
the shower. Good. Ugh. pillowcase. I just looked
22:01
at the director's name and yeah, that is the
22:03
most Irish name I've ever seen. Yeah, Lorcan
22:05
Finnegan. Fuck yeah. Lorcan Finnegan. Super Irish.
22:10
Oh man, I bet he was dying out there on that
22:12
beach. Wow, I didn't even think about that. Yeah,
22:15
for real. All right, so yeah, where would you
22:18
guys put this on the new Cage movie echelon?
22:22
oh it's certainly better than uh any of his westerns
22:26
oh yeah absolutely so i'm we're just not gonna
22:29
talk about those anymore i'm gonna bring them
22:31
up as a reference point to like the lows and
22:35
then uh uh you know lows yeah the lows and the
22:40
more lows yeah no uh it's good i put it i mean
22:43
it's it's up there um i'm trying to think of
22:45
um it's along the lines of like sympathy for
22:48
the devil yeah like dream scenario like whatever
22:53
uh the questions of what's going on yeah for
22:57
sure that was the film i was thinking of where
22:59
i'm like the third act i felt just completely
23:01
fell apart with a dream scenario when uh when
23:04
they just became influencers and they're like
23:06
and they were like people were like incepting
23:09
ads into people's dreams i'm like this was this
23:11
is dumb this wasn't earned As opposed to this
23:14
film when like he's less crazy when you find
23:17
out he's not crazy and then like it just kind
23:19
of ramps up to the homeless guy killing everyone.
23:21
I'm like, no, this wasn't. This was good. But
23:24
yeah, I'd put this up there as one of the one
23:28
of the highlights of the new era of Cage. And
23:30
I feel like I was thinking of it when I thought
23:33
he was insane. I'm like, it really hasn't been
23:36
since like Vampire's Kiss where we've seen him
23:38
like actually go crazy like this, like a character
23:40
who's actually insane. Yeah, the Roger Ebert
23:43
review of this one kind of touched on that, too.
23:46
And his his final takeaway was you should just
23:48
go watch Vampire's Kiss instead of this. If you
23:50
want to see like Wild Ass Cage. But he was like,
23:52
but still, it's an interesting performance. Who's
23:55
review of this? Roger Ebert. Of like Siskel and
23:59
Ebert fame from forever ago. Yeah, isn't he dead?
24:02
Siskel's dead. Siskel's dead. I thought Ebert
24:05
died. Ebert is actually just AI at this point.
24:08
I don't know. It has to be because he had a massive
24:10
stroke a while back. Well, he did, but I mean,
24:12
you can still be successful and perform if you
24:15
have a stroke. No, but I thought he died from
24:17
that stroke. Roger Ebert is definitely alive.
24:20
Are you thinking of Gene Siskel? Yeah, I think
24:23
you might still be thinking of Siskel. No, I'm
24:26
not. I remember his massive stroke. I thought
24:27
he died during it. I thought he died from it.
24:29
No, I'm just wrong. Yeah, Ebert's still around.
24:32
I was just more shocked to find out someone I
24:34
thought had been dead for a decade is alive.
24:36
I'm just excited. I don't remember when Siskel
24:39
and Ebert were on, like, mid -90s. Yeah, and
24:42
he felt like an old man to me because I was 12
24:46
or whatever. People just used to age poorly.
24:49
Like Nick pointed out long ago, indoor smoking
24:51
was a real thing. Speak for yourself, I still
24:54
age poorly. Get some melanin in you. Yeah, there
24:58
you go. No. There you go. Way to fight the man.
25:04
Wait. Sean? Well, big melanin. We're coming for
25:13
you. You didn't realize this was a conspiracy,
25:15
right? Big melanin is definitely a nickname for
25:18
somebody. That is the big fear in our government
25:21
right now. That's true. Yeah. Not wrong. All
25:26
right. Well, John, do you want to put any final
25:28
thoughts on this one? I mean, I really enjoyed
25:32
this movie. I fully intend to watch it again,
25:34
maybe six months or so from now and see how my
25:38
opinions changed. I mean, yeah, I put this up
25:42
there. I liked it better than dream scenario
25:44
is a little more coherent. Yeah, I would highly
25:47
recommend anybody go see this, even if you're
25:49
not really into Nick Cage. But, you know, in
25:51
one of mine, fuck for, you know, hour and a half.
25:55
I liked watching it to movie theater, mostly
25:57
because I got to eat popcorn and a hot dog. i
26:00
ate way too much popcorn i did too yeah i had
26:02
popcorn farts for the rest of the day it was
26:05
really unbearable for some people i was fine
26:08
with it you were fine i'm sure yeah i got did
26:11
you have any other human beings in your in your
26:13
watching of it yeah no it's uh we had a like
26:16
it was half full uh i went to the hollywood yeah
26:19
i mean it had been out for like a week at this
26:21
point uh i went and saw it at the hollywood theater
26:23
here in portland uh got in for free that was
26:25
fun uh because they knew about the podcast kind
26:30
actually kind of yes um it's a mostly volunteer
26:33
run and the woman who's working the um box office
26:36
uh her and i went on a date um months ago i had
26:40
fun um so she recognized me she's like oh and
26:43
i'm like yeah i'm here for the nick cage she's
26:45
like yeah it's like she's just like going in
26:46
i'm like cool That oh sounded. Yeah, not. Oh,
26:52
it's you. Oh, big melanin, huh? Oh, man. Yeah,
27:02
cool. Well, any other final thoughts or are we
27:04
all good? I like poop bag lady. Poop bag lady.
27:08
Yeah. Yeah. Who's your favorite hooligan or kook?
27:11
I mean, Twitchy was pretty cool. The coffee guy.
27:16
yeah um also not kooks yeah that's true because
27:19
they're good surfers the fucking the one who
27:21
uh gets his like face rocked and like drowned
27:25
and uh bank manager the bank manager yeah i just
27:30
i like i like his silly little santa hat yeah
27:33
that's true yeah yeah he's like the beefiest
27:37
dude there just wearing this goofy ass santa
27:39
hat oh wait we have another we have another uh
27:41
seasonal nick cage film we can watch now we have
27:43
another christmas nick cage film we can watch
27:45
true yeah we no longer just need to watch it
27:48
we no longer just need to watch um lost in paradise
27:51
trapped in paradise there was a family man too
27:55
yeah both of those movies are bad well the family
27:59
man's not the family man has some merit yeah
28:01
it's not yeah it's not fun though no no it's
28:06
not it does have uh what the fuck's his name
28:09
uh re the guy who plays yeah fucking uh damn
28:14
it i was just talking about him with tc pcu um
28:17
he's the dean from old school uh he got mercury
28:22
poisoning one time because he ate sushi like
28:23
twice a day for a week whoa wow that sounds exactly
28:26
like something a guy who looks like him would
28:28
do correct jeremy jeremy piven yeah jeremy oh
28:33
yeah mercury poison for piven there was a guy
28:37
in my dorm freshman year who was eating tuna
28:40
sandwiches like four or five times a week and
28:44
he would go through wild mood swings and eventually
28:47
we're like dude you need to stop eating so much
28:50
tuna fish and then he did and he became almost
28:54
normal again whoa wow yeah it's fucking wild
28:58
um but he ate he would put barbecue sauce It
29:02
is tuna. So it was tuna and barbecue sauce. That's
29:05
so weird. When I was into bodybuilding, you have
29:07
to have a lot of like lean protein and it doesn't
29:10
taste great, but a little bit of barbecue sauce
29:12
goes a long way. Interesting. So it's a good
29:15
way to make things palatable. He wasn't a bodybuilder.
29:17
I think he was on the baseball team, but I don't
29:21
know. I suspect he was one of the guys that crucified
29:24
the bat because at some point I came home from
29:28
class or work or something. And it was oh, it
29:32
came home from a show. It was late at night and
29:34
they had caught a bat. And crucified it on popsicle
29:39
sticks. OK, OK, stop. You were talking about
29:42
baseball and then you had to crucify a bat. And
29:44
I'm like, what the fuck? That was a weird leap.
29:46
Oh, hold on. The best part. They put pennies
29:50
in the test buttons of the bug eyes, the emergency
29:53
lights to like make them stay on and refocused
29:57
it onto the bat. And it was just in the hallway
29:59
when I came back. I'm like, I'm not even the
30:02
weirdest person here. Like, I'm not the one doing
30:05
the weird fucked up shit. This is so good. I
30:07
love college. Oh, one thing I saw when I was
30:12
reading about this this morning, I was flipping
30:14
through the IMDB and saw what the homeless guy
30:17
actually looks like. And he's like, I don't know,
30:20
a 25 year old, very attractive. Like what? Yeah.
30:25
Like, is he currently 25 ish? Or is there on
30:29
his IMDB like he was? I was like, whoa, they
30:32
really changed that guy over. But yeah, fair.
30:34
It might be an old photo. Because you can put
30:37
whatever photo you want. Wait, are you telling
30:40
me IMDB is going to catfish me? Yes, absolutely.
30:46
They have catfish in Australia. No, catfish don't
30:50
kill you enough. Yeah, probably something deadlier.
30:53
Yeah, like lionfish. Yeah, exactly. Nicholas
30:56
Kasim the bum. I mean, he looks our age. Really?
31:04
Well, I don't know. I was walking down the street.
31:06
Maybe I wasn't paying attention too hard. That's
31:09
fair. Well, happy birthday to birthday to birthday
31:12
to birthday. You gotta pay more attention when
31:13
you're a pedestrian, dude. Yeah, right. You're
31:16
gonna get run over. Where does IMDb, like, give
31:19
you their age? I mean, you just have to look
31:21
at their birth year. I'm not seeing. And then
31:24
math. And then math. Yeah. I don't want to do
31:29
math. Or you could have copy and pasted his name.
31:31
This is right back to Sean went to art school.
31:33
He's not doing math. No, no mathing going on
31:36
here. We could draw you a picture of the year
31:39
that he was born and figure it out from there.
31:42
Visual clues. After Nicholas seemed known for
31:45
Mr. In between 2018, the outlaws and a few best
31:48
men. Nothing's giving me his age. Weird. Well,
31:56
go see the surfer. Have a birth certificate.
32:00
Exactly. The actor known for his role as Bruce
32:03
was 93 years old when he passed out. Now this
32:06
is that seems like not the right guy. The moment's
32:10
gone. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you all for
32:13
listening. Our Patreon support has changed and
32:18
I don't remember who is actually supporting us
32:20
anymore. So thank you to our supporters that
32:22
I will. loosely edit uh josh and josie rico matt
32:27
adam and bill our spark buddies and our cage
32:29
dancers ira john freeman lance nathan and cameron
32:32
are you just oh i forgot stewart stewart's also
32:34
in there stewart are you gonna just quack out
32:37
the names that aren't supporting us anymore yes
32:40
perfect that seems like the most appropriate
32:42
way to do it yeah i do it the same order every
32:44
time so everybody knows who you who it was exactly
32:46
like oh i can't believe that they're not supporting
32:49
anymore yeah when was the surfer filmed Oh, I
32:53
don't know. I would guess two years ago. I mean,
32:56
yeah. All right. Are you still trying to figure
33:00
out how old that guy is? Yeah. Bugs me. Bye bye.
33:05
Eat the rat. Eat the rat. Bye bye. Sean, do you
33:18
just have a bowl of M &M's next to you? No, that's
33:21
my dog's ball pit. Oh, fucking awesome. Perspective
33:26
is fun. That's probably a lot bigger than it
33:28
appears on the screen. Yeah. No, his ball pit
33:31
is roughly the size of a bowl of Cheerios. You
33:35
can see Ben standing next to it. Ben's there
33:37
for scale. Not as good as a banana. That's right.
33:42
My favorite one of those is a guy was like, holy
33:45
shit, it's so cold in Florida or whatever that
33:47
my pool froze. And you can't tell when you look
33:50
at the picture because it just looks like glass.
33:52
And so he puts his guitar on a guitar stand on
33:56
the pool and goes, guitar for temperature. Yeah,
34:01
nice.