Latest / Finding New Waters / Getting from Stuck to Structured with The GOALDEN System: Kate Wade & Krissy Metzler

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Getting from Stuck to Structured with The GOALDEN System: Kate Wade & Krissy Metzler · Finding New Waters

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That it's not necessarily that there is one particular group of
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individuals that we would say is more difficult to work with
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because it's we can work with anybody.
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Executive function skills are for everybody.
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So but we look a lot at mindset of like, Are you ready to make
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change? Are you willing to put yourself
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in a position where you might feel a little uncomfortable,
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right. Because changing things is
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difficult and our brain likes to take the path of least
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resistance, which tends to be the actions we've always been
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doing all. Right.
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Good afternoon, everybody. My name is Bea Reeves.
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I'm the Director of Business Development here at New Waters
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Recovery in Raleigh. And today our special guests are
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Kate Wade and Chrissy Metzler. I had the pleasure of meeting
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Kate Reese Kate recently at a conference in Charleston and I
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just was really interested in what she what she does.
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And now I know that she and Chrissy do it together.
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And so I just thought she'd be a really good guest to have on
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here today. And so I'm going to kind of just
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say welcome to you 2 from the Golden system.
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That's GOALDEN. And I just want y'all just to
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say, you know, just tell us what you do.
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I'll start with you, Kate. Of course.
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Yeah. So we are executive function
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coaches. And when we say those words
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together, oftentimes people tend to be a little confused, right?
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Like, oh, you're executive coaches, you work with high
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level folks and yeah, we work with them, but we work with
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everyone. Executive function skills tend
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to confuse people because it's a word we don't usually associate
1:48
with what they are. So when we talk about executive
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function skills, we're talking about planning, prioritizing,
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time management, organizing all of the things we do on a regular
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basis from the time we wake up until the time we go to bed.
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And for some folks, and in fact for many folks, a lot of these
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skills can be difficult depending on the situation in
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which we have to implement them. So for example, you know,
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organizing your work desk might be really easy for you, but
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organizing your house might not be easy for you.
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And it's the same skill, but it's two different places that
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you're actually trying to do those things.
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So things like that, our executive function skills and
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what Chrissy and I do is we make people feel confident and
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empowered to try new systems and strategies to make their day
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better because we all deserve to have a really good day and not
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be stressed out, not be overwhelmed.
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So we say we help people from 16 all the way up to 60.
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Cool. Yeah.
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How did you all meet? This is a good one.
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We worked at another company together and branched off and
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did our own thing. The Golden System is turning 3
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this month, so. But we have been executive
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function coaches for a decade, so we've been in this world.
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We can talk about EF skills for days.
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We are ridiculously passionate about it.
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So we our paths crossed and we started the Golden System and
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here we are. Yeah.
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And fun fact, Chrissy and I actually did not meet in person
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until our business was already established.
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That's amazing. Yeah, that's another positive
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from COVID, I guess. Well, funny enough, we actually
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worked together before COVID. So we had been working digitally
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then virtually before COVID started and we continued and
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even started our business fully virtually.
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So it's kind of a fun little tidbit about us and our
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experience together that we worked really well together and
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just knew that we wanted to start a business too.
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That's amazing. I when we talked Kate one day,
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you know, I mentioned that I'm, you know, I definitely have ADD
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just kind of live with it. I mean, is, is a person like me
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who's, you know, quote UN quote normal functioning human being,
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Do I fit? Am I the kind of person you're
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looking for? Or do people need to be kind of
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or they can't quite get from A to B?
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What what what? What's your ideal client look
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like? So our client, yeah, it's you,
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it's anybody. It's anybody who wants their day
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to look different. And it doesn't mean that you are
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stuck and can't proceed or that you're not high functioning,
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that you can't get through your day on a regular basis.
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We really help people. We are the golden system, right?
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So we help people who specifically have something in
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mind that they want to be different or a thing that they
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want to accomplish. And having those milestones,
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having those things to work towards really encourages that
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behavior because you are going to change it.
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So Chrissy and I always say, we're not experts in what you
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do, but we are experts in behavior change.
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So we understand what it takes to make small modifications
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throughout your day, to think about something a little bit
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differently, or to try something new.
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We know what that takes, and we also know what it takes to be
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successful and to continue with that new strategy or skill.
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That's our expertise. So, Chrissy, I, I saw when I was
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doing some little bit of research on you, I usually like
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to just do a little bit, but I want this to be fresh and not
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seem rehearsed. So I did notice you that, you
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know, you have the golden system, which is a play on
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words, but then you have your that the acronym itself system.
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Can you go through that and kind of talk about what each letter
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stands for? Yes.
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So our system that we have built is based on science.
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Everything we do, we love science, everything's based on
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science. So we kind of took an extended
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model of the growth system, which some may be familiar with,
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but our system is the foundation of everything that we do.
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So we want to look at, you know, setting the goals, setting your
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goals, looking at where you're at right now, The I'm like
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blanking on spelling. Right now, we strategize after
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that. We are looking at the different
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techniques, the strategies of what can actually get you to
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remaining motivated, but we also have to evaluate what's
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happening. So that was one piece that we
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need to look at the grow model. We kind of were like we're
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missing a piece here. We need to be able to evaluate
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what we're actually doing and why things are or are not
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working in order to really make things stick.
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Because our goal is always going to be to help people get that,
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to use this system as a foundation to be able to apply
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to other areas of their life, to be able to reach different goals
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by using the same proven system. Yeah, well.
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I think go ahead. Oh yeah.
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So it really is. So we have kind of two things at
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play in the golden system, right?
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So we specialize in executive function behaviors.
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So when we're talking about when Chrissy is talking about
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strategizing and taking action and really putting things into
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play, like actually trying to do things.
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That's. When we're actually being able
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to identify the specific executive function area that
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we're working in, right? So if somebody wants to get
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better at managing their household schedule, right, we're
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going to say what things can we actually do?
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What have you done previously, right?
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So that's the year now what have you done previously that's
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worked or has not worked? And then we're going to say,
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well, here maybe let's try this. And when we do that, let's try
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this. That's in our strategizing and
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taking action space. We're actually following up with
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our clients. There's accountability there.
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And then that evaluation piece, right?
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So our clients try something and then they're like, wait, that
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didn't feel good. I completely forgot about it,
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right? So if some people who are not a
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divergent, you need to be able to see things.
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And if you don't see it, you're not going to follow through with
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it. You're not going to go back to
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it. It just kind of disappears.
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So we want to make sure that we evaluate what we're actually
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doing to ensure that is working for our clients and then they're
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going to continue wanting to use it.
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So we kind of, so goals are our foundation.
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We have this system of behavior change, but within that we are
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addressing those particular skills that bear to be improved
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upon. They're like muscles, right?
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You want to build up your muscles, make yourself stronger,
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make your day better. Well, and there's no one size of
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the reasons. I'm so sorry.
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Go ahead. No, no, I'm keep interrupting
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each other, but I, I just wanted to say when I, when I met Kate
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and then we had a, we talked again.
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I just remember thinking, this is such a nice it.
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It's a good fit for the general recovery, behavioral health,
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mental health treatment sort of add on, if that's the right
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word. Because speaking from personal
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experience and what I see in my life in recovery, in my
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professional life, working for a treatment center where we do
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detox in the mini residential, but also diagnostic assessments
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for people who may or may not even drink or use drugs at all.
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But a lot of times, and I'm talking about myself too, but
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you know, we we get sober, get through like a really tough part
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of our lives. And then all of a sudden we're
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living in this new way. But we still don't really know
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how to do some of the simple things that just are that are
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come second nature to seemingly everybody else.
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You know, I mean, one of the things that we hear, you know,
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in recovery is people say, you know, I, I feel like I didn't
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get the map or the map was upside down and that kind of
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thing. And so that's, that's sort of
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what it was like, what it was like.
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And then we, it get better and then I'll, but then it's life is
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still there. And, and it becomes really
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frustrating when we're like, wait, I'm, I'm in my, I'm
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speaking for me. I'm sober now.
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How, how come I'm not dialed in in every aspect of my life?
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We kind of think that everything just magically falls into place
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and even if we in in and just working hard at it is great.
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But if we're working at the wrong thing or or or looking at
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it the wrong way. So I guess kind of speak to that
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and who what you see from coming in your world from my world.
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Well, and that's, I can see Kate kind of nodding along with me
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because she knows where I'm going with this.
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Because what you're saying is really normal for what we hear.
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And one of the best things that I tell people is that like we
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have to take the word just out of our language, mainly because
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it gets used in such a will just use a Google Calendar and you
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can manage your time. No, that's not how it works.
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And I I do tend to crack the joke of like just do it has made
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Nike billions of dollars. It doesn't work for brains
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though. It works for Nike and they're
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awesome slogan. It does not work for our brains
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because with everything we do at the golden system through the
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evaluation process of did this work?
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Did pieces of it work? How did you feel?
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How can we help move forward with this?
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That's because there is no just do this kind of mantra about it.
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There is no one-size-fits-all. So every tool and strategy can
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be adapted to you, but we certainly hear that a lot of
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like, well, I wish I could just insert anything from leave the
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house on time to be able to remember all the things in my To
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Do List. Or there are 1,000,000 different
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things you can fill in that sentence with.
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But there's an understanding that the people who seemingly
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have all of that stuff together, they don't.
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And if they do, that's because they've built a system that
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works for them. But the thing about executive
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function skills is, most of the time people aren't ever taught
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explicitly how to use them to their advantage for.
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Their brain and because so often, right, a lot of the so
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executive function skills. Let's get brain sciency for a
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minute, right? So it's housed in our prefrontal
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cortex. It's the front of our brain.
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You know, we're born with our brain, but we are not born with
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all of these skills intact, right?
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Our brain is not fully developed until we're between 28 and 30
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years old. And even then, right, we can
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still develop new neural pathways, but that really
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critical time and, and so much right of, you know, childhood
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trauma and addiction and things like that, that can really
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affect your brain development. And.
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And how you move into the world. So the your prefrontal cortex,
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you do not automatic. Like there's no button.
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That's like, I'm going to be really good at planning boop.
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No, we actually developed these skills through observing
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behaviours, having people around us model how to do that.
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But again, like Chrissy said, if you, if your brain does not work
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the way the brains around you work, trying to learn those
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behaviors from those people, it's not going to be helpful to
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you. And right.
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And that's also when we have this perceived notion of all
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these other people can do this, they're doing all this stuff.
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I tried to do what they do and it's not working for me.
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Why? What's wrong with me?
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And it's not necessarily about blaming ourselves or taking that
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weight on. It's learning.
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Let's learn about what my brain needs, right?
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So, and if you are in a recovery space, you have probably had a
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conversation some at some point about why you're in recovery in
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the 1st place, what your brain was doing and the things that
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you were using to make your brain feel better.
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You no longer have those things. So really, Chrissy and I are
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really intentional about helping people understand how their
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brains work. And we also discover that in our
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partnership with our clients when we talk about, OK, So what
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worked for you? What makes you feel good?
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What makes you feel productive? What makes you feel happy?
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What you know, let's lean into the things that work for you.
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And we are just going to elevate and we're just going to push you
14:51
down the road and we're going to follow that Choo Choo train to
14:54
success. You know, like we're going to
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make sure that we lean into whatever works for you.
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You mentioned the word the term neurodivergent.
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Yes. What, what just tell us what it
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means because we, we hear it a lot.
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It's sort of AI don't want to say buzzword, but it kind of is.
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And the same way at the beginning of this conversation,
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you said a lot of times people say, oh, executive function, you
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must be working with CEOs and maybe that you can.
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But sometimes we lose sight of what the definition really is.
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So what? What?
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What is it? Neurodivergent?
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So really the word neurodivergent really didn't
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come about until the mid to late 90s was when it first started
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being coined and used. It is generally used now and
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it's kind of a umbrella term for people who have different types
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of exhibiting different types of neuro developmental needs,
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right. So if you have people who are on
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the spectrum, so within the autism spectrum, and we also
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know again, right, a lot of definitions have been changing.
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But in terms of diagnostics, so I'm treading carefully here, but
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people who are diagnosed or identify as having ADHD or ADD,
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again, the language there has shifted within the past, what,
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five years? Chrissy?
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Yeah, So neuro divergent really just means that people's brains
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really process things just differently.
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And so it's kind of an umbrella term that covers a lot of
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neurodivergence, right. So autism spectrum, ADHD, people
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with, you know, people learning differences.
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So help me this calculus and all these kind of different things.
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It's kind of an umbrella term. It's kind of people who learn a
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little bit differently and their brains need something else to
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learn. What's the of the, of the, the
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of the diagnosis or the diagnosis, what are the, what is
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the toughest or the what are the toughest diagnosis, diagnosis
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under that umbrella to, to sort of for you to work with
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basically and to help. Well, so Christy and I really
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are very much upfront. We are not therapists, so we
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don't do diagnosis. That's not our job.
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Often times we will partner with counselors, therapists and that
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space. We have worked with people of
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all different abilities. You know, we work with
17:36
neurotypical individuals as well, so working with people who
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are neurodivergent. Christy and I both are
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specialized. We come from an education
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background, so that is kind of our specialty.
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I would say it's not even a neurodivergent that's difficult
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to work with and someone who's resistant to change.
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That's what I was going to say is that it's not necessarily
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that there is one particular group of individuals that we
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would say is more difficult to work with because it's we can
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work with anybody. Executive function skills are
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for everybody. So, but we look a lot at mindset
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of like, Are you ready to make change?
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Are you willing to put yourself in a position where you might
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feel a little uncomfortable, right.
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Because changing things is difficult in our brain likes to
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take the path of least resistance, which tends to be
18:29
the actions we've always been doing.
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So they're certainly not a group of people or a diagnosis that
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is, you know, you cannot be helped through coaching.
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That's not the case by any stretch of the imagination.
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It's really being able for us to meet people where they're at.
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And we focus very heavily on the positives of like, OK, well,
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what are the good things that you are experiencing?
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Because many times people who may be neurodivergent will
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qualify themselves as, you know, well, I do XY and Z, that makes
19:06
me a worse employee or that's a weakness.
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And really, it's not necessarily a weakness.
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It's how can we frame it and use those strengths to your
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advantage. Because you should be able to
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have all of the same opportunities and gain these
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extra skills and strategies to lead the life that you want to
19:26
lead. I can imagine you're talking
19:29
about the are they willing to be uncomfortable and like life in
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general? And I mean, it could be anything
19:36
from playing golf where you where I'm not a great golfer.
19:44
It's a golf. But what happens is if I, if I
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take lessons and it's kind of whether somebody's going into a,
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you know, a 12 step meeting, coming to treatment, going to
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see you going to get a golf lesson.
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On some level, that person is asking for help and then.
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I go to the golf lesson and the guy shows me what to do on the
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driving range and it fixes my grip and my swing and things go
20:08
really well. Then I go play golf and I hit
20:12
two shots with my new grip that the guy taught me and and it
20:15
doesn't go well. So I go back to my old ways,
20:18
which was not working very well, but it was comfortable.
20:21
I mean, that sounds like that's what you're talking about.
20:24
Absolutely. And it's, you know, that's
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again, like that's brain science.
20:27
That's how our brains are are made to work.
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It's the path of least resistance.
20:32
It's finding comfort in the comfort of our old routines and
20:37
being able to really say, I might have to be uncomfortable
20:42
here. But we find that most often
20:45
happens when times of transition, right, because times
20:49
of transition cause chaos in what do we not like in chaos?
20:53
Trying things that are new and like pushing our boundaries and
20:57
like pushing ourselves to do what we, you know, that use the
21:00
grip that you're, you know, instructor told you to use.
21:04
And you're like, but I'm getting frustrated and you can like feel
21:07
that emotion build up And it's like, I don't want to think
21:10
about that. I want to just go back to what I
21:12
feel most comfortable with. That's that's a natural
21:16
behavior. And sometimes the chaos is
21:19
what's comfortable. Exactly.
21:21
Yeah. And, and like you said, right,
21:23
if we stay along that path of the analogy, it really is your
21:27
muscle memory. It's your body.
21:29
Like you feel most comfortable, you know, when you switch your
21:33
grip, you know, put your left hand on top of your right or
21:35
vice versa. It feels weird.
21:38
Like there's that like discomfort there.
21:41
And it's that muscle memory of just automatically leaning into
21:45
what's normal. Well, this is my normal.
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I exist in chaos or I exist in clutter, right?
21:51
And and you just accept it as maybe what you deserve, right?
21:54
And that's not true because you deserve to have a killer swing.
21:58
Let's try something new. Let's, you know, practice that
22:01
and let's do it in a game. You know, when you're doing a
22:03
round of golf with your friends. I'm just going to make sure I do
22:06
this the whole time and sticking to it, right?
22:09
And Chrissy and I rely a lot of the time on accountability.
22:12
So you go golfing with your friends.
22:15
You're like, hey, I'm going to try this new thing.
22:17
Can you keep an eye on my hands to make sure I'm doing this and
22:21
that way right? Like all of a sudden you're
22:24
changing the dynamic of this change, you're taking control of
22:27
it and you're asking for support.
22:30
You're saying, hey, just keep an eye on me.
22:33
Like call me out if I like swing a little funky or whatever it
22:36
is, you know, cuz. I exercising that control and
22:42
having that clear communication, the chances are you're going to
22:46
be more aware of it and you're actually going to improve.
22:50
Yeah, yeah. I mean just kind of actually,
22:53
but not to go back to Nike. But in this case, we we need we
22:57
do need to do what we even be be uncomfortable.
23:01
Yes, yeah. You do have to do it and there's
23:03
also a difference and sometimes when we talk to clients, there's
23:05
a difference in the language we use, right.
23:07
Like that can also impact your mindset.
23:10
I have two kids that play sports and sometimes when we try to
23:13
help them make changes towards things, we get the line of this
23:17
feels weird. I don't like it.
23:19
It feels weird and I'm like, it doesn't feel weird.
23:21
It feels different. It's different because when you
23:25
like there's. I'm a former English teacher and
23:28
special Ed teacher. So like the, the language, the
23:30
linguistics of it matter because weird has like this negative
23:35
connotation of like this is, oh, it's icky, it's weird.
23:39
It's like, well, this just feels different.
23:41
Like there's not the same kind of heaviness to that word.
23:46
So when you talk about things and especially when it's
23:49
struggles, it's like, well, how are we talking about?
23:52
Like, how are we talking to ourselves?
23:54
Because, you know, fun fact, we're usually a lot harsher in
23:58
ourselves than we are other people.
24:00
Yeah. So we owe ourselves that
24:03
kindness that we give to other people too.
24:06
How long do you typically work with clients?
24:10
So we usually behavior change takes time, behavior
24:15
modification, right? It's not an overnight thing.
24:20
Oftentimes people get started with us and try out a month just
24:23
to kind of experience it, right, because it's what is coaching.
24:26
It's this kind of a morphic thing that you can't really
24:30
describe until you're in it and you're experiencing it.
24:32
We do our best by outlining kind of what it looks like and what
24:36
we're gonna talk about and using our system and how that works.
24:41
So people often try it. They'll start with a month and
24:43
then really genuinely behavior change to see the initial like
24:49
those feel good moments, those little glimmers of yeah, I did
24:54
that thing. And having the space to have
24:57
repetition and actual implementation is usually about
25:00
3 months when you'll start seeing that.
25:03
But it's a different experience for everyone.
25:05
It depends on what are you working towards?
25:08
What kind of goal is it? Is it a long term goal?
25:12
Are you kind of in this short term space where you just need
25:14
like a little boost, a little help?
25:17
And Christy and I always joke we have a terrible business model
25:20
because we want people to not meet us.
25:25
We. Want people to work with us and
25:27
then we want to push them out into their world with their
25:30
toolbox. But know that we are always here
25:34
cheering them on and so often times our clients who work with
25:38
us for long periods of time will actually start tapering down
25:42
their work with us because we want them to feel independent,
25:46
live some life. We only see them once a week,
25:49
but in between that there's a lot of life that happens.
25:52
So we're really intentional about communicating with our
25:56
clients and ensuring that they're getting enough support
26:00
or maybe it's time for them to start being more independent
26:03
with these skills and kind of using us as a reflection space.
26:06
So it really depends on the person.
26:09
And Chrissy, so you were a English and education.
26:14
Just look what you've studied. And what about you, Kate?
26:18
So I was a marine science educator for about 13 years.
26:21
My Really. Yeah.
26:23
So I, I have a pretty, I, I've been a lot of places and I've
26:27
done a lot of things, a lot of it underwater.
26:31
But I kind of through that experience, I essentially worked
26:35
with teeny tiny news to old folks in all different types of
26:39
settings. And I learned from that, those
26:43
experiences rather that I was really fascinated by how people
26:47
learn, like how, how, how do we learn?
26:52
What is that process of learning?
26:54
And I decided to go back for my masters in education psychology.
26:58
And that really pushed me into that space of understanding
27:02
behavior change and recognizing what it is to be aware of your
27:08
behaviors, be aware of the things that you do, whether it's
27:13
with intention or without intention.
27:15
And then that brought me into my career of being an executive
27:18
function coach. So it all kind of stacked,
27:22
right? Because I got to see all levels
27:24
of development and then that kind of pushed me into the next
27:28
phase. And then I think for Chrissy,
27:31
it's so cool because we all came to this kind of from a different
27:35
but similar background, right? We were all seeking something
27:38
kind of similar. Interesting how we get places
27:45
and I one thing I know is when I was in fifth grade and we went
27:48
up in front of the class to say what we wanted to do when we
27:50
grew up, I didn't imagine that I would be doing business
27:54
development for a treatment center.
27:56
I didn't even you know, this was a job, of course, but but what?
28:01
So how do people know it? I mean, I can see people are
28:06
maybe know that they're not as organized as they want to be or
28:09
they're not, you know, things are sort of slipping through the
28:11
cracks. And, but how does someone know
28:14
they need your services? What, what, how does that kind
28:18
of, how do they, how do they find you?
28:19
And I mean, I want to know, we'll get to like, Hey, what's
28:22
your website later? But like, what, like how does,
28:24
what's, what's the progression like where somebody kind of
28:26
finds their way, you know, to a phone call or, or, you know,
28:30
reaching out to you. I.
28:32
Think people that you know, you can typically think of, oh, I
28:37
feel I'm disorganized or I, I don't know where the time goes
28:40
and I'm kind of have that timeline, this thing going on or
28:43
those kind of very general ideas of, you know, what executive
28:46
function coaching could help with for us.
28:50
A lot of it is individuals who have this vision of what they
28:56
want their life to be like. And that usually involves some
28:59
sort of like emotional feeling of like, I don't want to feel
29:01
stressed out or like I've lost the 5th To Do List that I've
29:05
written down today. The people that have this vision
29:10
of like, this is what I want to be able to accomplish and it
29:15
doesn't align with where they're at right now.
29:17
They're not there yet, but they like have that inkling of like,
29:20
I want to be there. I want to live out that vision
29:24
of the person who's able to strike kind of that life harmony
29:29
side of things. We've tried to stop saying work
29:31
life balance because there's not ever really a true balance.
29:35
Balance is actually. Well, and that's not fair out of
29:38
out of fashion. Yeah, so.
29:40
We're, you know, this, but this life kind of like this harmony
29:43
side of things or, you know, they want to be able to feel
29:47
like they are in control of their day rather than their day
29:49
being in control of them, that they are taking the action
29:53
steps, that they are doing what they need to do for themselves.
29:57
And there are other obligations too.
30:00
Yeah. And a lot of people, you know,
30:02
find us, we're a small business, right?
30:04
We're very intentionally small because we want to be able to
30:09
provide services for individuals who really want to do the work.
30:13
You know, we are really mindful of the workload that we take on
30:16
and who we're working with. And again, right, if people
30:20
aren't a good fit for us or if they need to take care of some
30:22
other things first before they come to us, we're here for it.
30:26
So a lot of the ways that people find us is by word of mouth,
30:30
right? So what the work that we do is
30:34
very personal. So it comes from relationship
30:37
building. It comes from finding partners
30:40
and people who are in the same field, people who are supporting
30:44
other people. So that's how I found you,
30:47
right? Being in a space of people who
30:52
are very intentional about wanting to make other people's
30:55
day better. So therapists, counselors,
30:58
Wellness centers, people who are doing assessments right, We
31:03
build partnerships because that's what it takes for people
31:07
to find us, you know, having conversations.
31:09
And often times people who are going to have those vulnerable
31:13
conversations are going to have it with people that they trust.
31:15
So we try very hard to ensure that all of our connections,
31:21
regardless of industry or space, that, you know, we're being our
31:27
true authentic selves because that's who you get.
31:29
You know, This Is Us. And not only, you know, do we
31:33
help people who might be struggling in terms of, you
31:36
know, who on one side might be working on mental health issues
31:41
and you know, we're kind of on the other side and, and
31:43
supporting in that really nice collaborative way.
31:45
But we also help people who are entrepreneurs, people who are
31:49
trying to get started in their career because we're there.
31:53
And as an entrepreneur, you're always trying to do something
31:56
and then you realize that there's a lot more that goes
31:59
into it than you planned. So we're kind of in the space
32:02
and we connect with people who support people in transition.
32:07
And so do you, do you the 2 of you have different roles or do
32:11
you kind of, I know you mean you do coaching you do, Yeah, group
32:15
sessions. I mean, tell us all what you do
32:17
and what who does what. Well, we both do it all because
32:22
that's how we roll. I mean, Chrissy usually does the
32:25
newsletters. I'm gonna put that on her.
32:27
If you sign a party, what are is there Chrissy?
32:29
English major. They're.
32:30
So good. She knocks them out of the park.
32:32
I just proofread, but those are Chrissy.
32:34
I'm I'm putting those on her because she does a phenomenal
32:37
job every night. Yeah.
32:39
But in terms of kind of like coaching itself, we both do
32:43
coaching and we make it a point that when someone starts talking
32:47
to us about coaching, we always know that who they are being
32:53
coached by makes a difference. Meaning we ask the hard
32:56
questions. We ask the questions of tell us
32:59
about people you work well with, tell us about, you know,
33:02
anything that's going to help us delineate out who the best coach
33:08
is for that individual. Kate and I are alike in a lot of
33:11
ways, but we're all so different in a lot of ways too.
33:13
And we really enjoy that about ourselves.
33:16
So we do take that step. It's not just a coin flip or
33:20
anything or like Next up kind of situation.
33:22
It's definitely what's in the best interest of the specific
33:26
individual in front of us and their goals and their needs and
33:29
who they work best with. So in that regard, we, we both
33:34
coach, we both host workshops. We love to do them together in
33:38
person because we have fun together.
33:41
But we, you know, we'll host them individually if need be as
33:45
well. So we're in it together.
33:49
We really do, you know, have our own strengths and weaknesses.
33:53
But overall, it's it's a joint effort here at the Golden
33:57
System. And so how often do you actually
34:01
get to see each other IRL, as the kids say?
34:05
Not often enough. I was there last week though, so
34:10
I don't think we preface this. Chrissy is in the Chicagoland
34:13
area and I am in the Charleston, SC area, and we support people
34:20
all throughout all of our states.
34:23
Whoever wants to call us up and have a conversation, we support
34:26
them. So we have clients in many
34:28
different states at this point. So yeah, so we are
34:33
geographically separate. We work very frequently online,
34:38
though. We do tons of online webinars
34:40
and have lots of resources available online for folks.
34:44
And then, yeah, we usually get together about once to maybe
34:47
twice a year, many times. Interesting, I mean, I think the
34:50
the genesis of the company being virtual.
34:54
So a lot of times people had to pivot to that and make that
34:57
work, but that's how you start it.
34:58
So there's I I I could see that's that's really cool.
35:03
How do how do people find you? Like what, what's because people
35:08
are going to listen to this. I mean, I the reason I wanted
35:10
you on here is because you're great to talk to and what you
35:13
did. But I'm really interested.
35:15
And I know that the, you know, we have an audience and they
35:18
they are interested in more than just hearing about recovery.
35:21
This is yeah. So how do we find you?
35:24
You we are we're everywhere. I mean, the only thing we're not
35:27
on is TikTok, but I just can't I'm sorry guys.
35:31
So we have our website sothegoldensystem.com and it's
35:35
GOALDEN and that is our handle for all of our social media.
35:40
So we are on Instagram, we are on Facebook, we are on LinkedIn.
35:44
You can connect with us individually if you one as well.
35:49
We are all over the place so we're wherever you want us.
35:52
You got us except for TikTok. That's all I place well.
35:56
Before we go is what are a couple of tips for people who
36:00
maybe to look at in their own lives, like would say that maybe
36:04
they would need your help or and then just maybe a tip or two if
36:08
you got them about little things people can do to help
36:10
themselves, you know, until they actually reach out to you.
36:14
Yeah, of course. Well, I will give one of my
36:17
favourites. It's a really easy entry to kind
36:22
of changing habits. And it comes from people saying,
36:26
you know, oh, I thought I would remember that.
36:29
Oh I, I forgot it. It's living in my head.
36:32
So we always tell people things can't live rent free in your
36:35
head. Nope, they got to pay rent.
36:37
They got to pay up like you can't live rent free.
36:40
So one thing that can really be beneficial is just taking a
36:45
timer for 5 minutes and picking up a pen and piece of paper or
36:49
the notes app in your phone and dumping everything that is
36:52
living in your brain rent free out onto that medium.
36:57
Mainly because it gives your brain the space to know it
37:00
doesn't have to hold on to everything because that's asking
37:03
too much of our brains. And it gives you the opportunity
37:07
to then kind of progress. And you know, there's a whole
37:09
bunch of tools you can do with that, you know, dump of
37:12
information that you have. But that's really the first step
37:16
is to start to see what you're dealing with and then being able
37:20
to kind of make plans from there.
37:22
But and. You're saying write it down?
37:25
Write it down. It can.
37:27
Be on your phone. Yeah, it doesn't matter where it
37:30
can't be. It's just living in your your
37:32
brain like, oh, I don't forget. Go to the store and pick up
37:35
cheese for our tacos. So the power of making a list
37:39
and checking it off it it's, you know, feels really good to do
37:43
that. I know I will say I have a
37:45
client who she's always, she always laughs to me.
37:48
She goes, Kate, I just tossing it off doesn't do the same thing
37:52
for me that it does for you. And that's OK.
37:55
And that's what you know. So we are all about digital or,
37:59
you know, concrete copies, paper, pen, whatever you need to
38:03
do, whatever makes, again, whatever makes your brain happy,
38:08
find that space. And but just getting it out, it
38:13
really helps you see, if you do it in the morning, it helps you
38:16
see kind of what's coming for the rest of the day.
38:18
If you do it in the evening, it kind of lets you know, OK, how
38:22
far did I actually get today? Is this why I feel like I'm
38:25
treading water? Is this why I'm feeling, you
38:28
know, frustrated, you know, because I still have all this
38:31
stuff just in my head, all of these tasks I need to do.
38:36
So, yeah. So whether it's virtual, whether
38:39
it's digital, whether it's, you know, analog, one of those is a
38:43
pretty good. What you just said reminds me of
38:46
a, a quote I was told when I was working in a job 1012 years ago
38:51
where. And so I think the quote is from
38:53
Lee Iacocca, the former automobile CEO, as the CEO
38:58
brought Chrysler back from the, you know, death's door,
39:01
whatever. But his whole, his thing was
39:03
plan your work, work your plan. And all those days where I do
39:06
get up, you know, and because of what happens is I wake up with
39:09
the intention to kind of know what the day's going to look
39:11
like and be ready for it. And then all the, you know,
39:13
texts and emails and this and that and, you know, usually gets
39:17
derailed. But when I do do that, when I'm
39:19
like, here's what I got going on today, prepared to do it.
39:21
And then I can kind of methodically check the stuff off
39:25
and go through the day, you know, in some kind of order.
39:28
But that's usually not going to happen for pretty much anybody.
39:31
No, we can. We can still have the plan and
39:33
still work it. Well, and it's all about, I
39:35
mean, one of our favorite words is pivot, right?
39:38
We got to, we got to learn how to pivot.
39:40
And there's a lot of things like, I mean, Christina, we keep
39:42
talking for a very long time about all these things, right?
39:45
But it comes into these are all fires that are popping up in
39:48
your day. How you know, and what burns
39:51
faster? Some things don't burn as fast.
39:53
Some things take a little bit longer.
39:56
Yeah. So learning how again, right?
39:59
This is learning how to plan. This is learning how to
40:02
prioritize. And when our day gets drawn off
40:06
track by a fire that pops up, that's being cognitively
40:10
flexible again. Cognitively flexible.
40:14
Right. All of those, those are all
40:15
exact, those are specifically executive function skills in one
40:19
scenario that you gave me, right.
40:21
So these executive function skills, they rule our day and
40:25
they really are an umbrella. They really are all
40:27
interconnected to every single thing that we do.
40:31
And. Sometimes my, you know, you ask
40:33
for tips. The one I was going to share is
40:37
if you're in a space where you're feeling like things are
40:40
just a mess just before you get to us.
40:43
Because again, we're the biggest cheerleaders you'll ever have.
40:46
But just celebrate a small success.
40:49
Celebrate a win for yourself because you know what, you made
40:52
it through the day and that's really important.
40:55
I hear you. And I think that is an absolute,
40:59
absolutely perfect place to end because sometimes just making
41:02
through the day is, you know, that's why one day at a time is
41:05
a thing. Yeah, it's enough.
41:07
Awesome. Well, hey, thank you both so
41:10
much for being here. That was really, really
41:11
interesting and really cool. And we look forward to talking
41:15
to you soon and working together.
41:16
Yes. Of course.
41:18
Well, you. Thanks so much, and you can find
41:21
us anywhere at the Golden system.com.
41:23
Awesome. Thank you.
41:24
If you liked what you heard today or just want to know more,
41:27
give us a call on 9196708119 or visit us at
41:32
newwatersrecovery.com. Thank you.