Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Financial Empowerment for Women: Build Confidence, Master Your Money Mindset & Redefine Wealth with Irina Helm

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Financial Empowerment for Women: Build Confidence, Master Your Money Mindset & Redefine Wealth with Irina Helm · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

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This is so important for us as women to learn to be independent
0:04
and to to know how to deal with money, how to have our own
0:10
finances. We live longer than men, but men
0:14
are actually a lot of times in control of our money.
0:17
So a lot of times when the husband is passing away, the
0:20
women are lost. Yes, my daughter was lost like
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this. She suddenly lost my father.
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He was totally healthy. And suddenly they discovered
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cancer was gone within two weeks.
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Oh my gosh. And then we realized that she
0:38
never paid bills. I did not even know about that.
0:40
She never paid bills by herself. She didn't know where to start.
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She didn't know what she has, what accounts she has.
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And I see a lot of women like this.
0:51
Hello and welcome to The Field Podcast.
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I'm here today with a new friend.
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I actually met her last spring and you all remember earlier
0:59
this season when I shared Angela Yakobelos with you.
1:03
Well, Angela and Irena are business partners.
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They work together. I met them both last spring of
1:11
2025 at a conference we were all at, a seminar we were all at
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together speaking, presenting and participating in Down in
1:19
Thousand Oaks, CA. And I knew they had a table
1:22
right next to mine as we were sharing our resources.
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And I got a chance to visit with them that day and I'm and
1:29
learned how their stories are so connected to how they show up
1:33
and help people today, help women today dealing with those
1:37
financial matters and that planning that can sneak up on
1:42
us, but it doesn't have to. And, and Irena's story and how
1:46
she got to this space is, is really tightly wound together
1:51
and really part of her whole journey.
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And so we're going to share that with you today and get to know
1:56
her a little more. Irena, welcome to the Field
1:59
podcast. Hi, Melissa, Thank you for
2:02
having me. I'm very sad.
2:05
It's so good to have you here. All right, let's get right into
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it. You describe yourself as rich,
2:11
authentic, chronically creative and empathetic.
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I love those. I think rich makes gives me such
2:19
a full feeling. It's such a a a deep connection
2:24
to yourself and the experiences that you seek the way you live
2:29
your life. Talk to me about how this is
2:33
connected to how you show up for yourself and and how you take
2:37
care of yourself through yourself care and making sure
2:40
that your resources are filled and you're ready to give the
2:45
energy you have to offer each day as you meet with these
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different people you run into in the world.
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So as you said, rich, for me, it's not only money rich.
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Right. Internally rich, so maybe I'll
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go a little bit back to my background.
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I live 4 different countries, I speak 4 languages and I feel
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like I'm rich with cultures and very different places.
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So that's what I mean by rich. And going back to your question,
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how I feel my my cup, maybe it's my always my me time.
3:29
That's very, very busy. Always.
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I was always independent. I had always my business.
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I worked maybe one year in my life for a big company in the
3:40
salary position. So I need to structure my life
3:44
usually by myself. And I have my ritual.
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So now I'm already an empty nester.
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My daughter's 29 and I have still 6 animals.
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I have three dogs and three cats.
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So the morning for me starts with feeding all the animals and
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then I need to find the time for myself, which starts with a
4:05
coffee and then yoga, practicing a little bit meditation, a
4:09
little bit gratitude for what I have, and then getting ready for
4:14
the day. So it's very important for me to
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have those little things for myself, to have my peace.
4:21
Yeah, I love that you have a very plan and a plan that you
4:25
know works for you, which really goes nicely into confidently
4:29
setting healthy boundaries. You've done that.
4:32
You've created the space that's in your calendar.
4:36
It's it's what you know you need every day.
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When did you realize that was necessary for you?
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Like is this something that you've known for a long time or
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did you have a point in time where you realized I've got to
4:48
really make sure I'm intentional about carving and creating out
4:52
this time? I definitely did because I'm
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coming from a background that was very controlling, I'm more
5:00
than opinion. So it was always very structured
5:05
from the outside. So I learned on the hard way how
5:11
to set my boundaries. My personal, there were a lot of
5:15
expectations. Like when I was in the Soviet
5:20
Union, we had school uniforms. We had to sit in the club like
5:23
this with both hands on the table.
5:25
If you wanted to speak, you needed to lift one hand.
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That's my upbringing. So it was very important to be
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like in in certain brackets. And then I moved to Germany and
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had to reinvent myself. And then I lived in Israel for
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many years, which is a totally different country.
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So I had really to find. And Israel is also very male
5:53
controlling and did by males. Men are going to the army, but
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still it's a very male country so I had it really to learn it
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the hard way. To.
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Set my boundaries and still being me, myself and doing what
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I want to do in the like without fighting.
6:19
Yeah. Yeah, that constant reinvention
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of yourself, you need to know when you come up in an
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environment where there's so many parameters that you have to
6:29
live with in and in, and then learning how to live within
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yourself and who you are when you move out of that, that is a
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very like kind of a life reckoning story of like, who am
6:42
I? How do I fit into this world
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when all of those, you know, I would guess kind of fear based
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rhetoric is in place to keep you in line when all of a sudden you
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can breathe a little bit. That has to be very like eye
6:59
opening but a little terrifying because you've never gotten a
7:03
chance to think about what that means for you without some kind
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of outside entity telling you what you can and can't do.
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Yes. So also when we moved from
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Soviet Union to Germany, my parents in a way let me be by
7:17
myself. I needed to be caring for my
7:20
little sister. And on the other hand, there
7:23
were a lot of expectations as well.
7:25
So I really needed to learn how to find myself in this whole
7:30
story. And that's where the creativity
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comes in. I was when I started finding
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ways to take drawing classes, art classes, fashion and all
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those things. So that's where I started.
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Actually when I moved to Israel, I was, I studied at the Academy
7:48
of Art. That's actually my background.
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I studied painting, sculpture and then moved over to video of
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art. Yeah.
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Arts and then later I was working for the Israeli
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television for many years. So that's a background.
8:06
Stories of people, documentaries, news.
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That's my background. OK, wow, so this became this
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whole creative outlet became this whole other new season Ave.
8:18
for you to explore and not only for yourself, but became your
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work, which so many times happens when you, when you find
8:28
this thing, you're aligned with you.
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You're so fascinating to me because you've been in all these
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different spaces and places and you've continued to evolve and
8:37
grow and get to know yourself in the process.
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We talk a lot on this platform about how our mental, emotional,
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physical, spiritual health, they're all connected.
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They all need to be tended to as you've moved from these
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different environments throughout the world.
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Talk to me. Did you notice that impact on
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those things being connected? Is there any ways that showed up
9:02
for you that it made you realize, oh, I need to tend to
9:04
all these things as I continue to learn about myself in these
9:08
different spaces? Yes, I think so because I really
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have this holistic approach to my life, which is only like it's
9:16
the food that I eat. It's very for me to eat healthy.
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I'm not hardly eating outside somewhere.
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I'm preparing my food from scratch, including bread.
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So there's a lot to it to be just very connected to yourself.
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I think our health is really very wide, which is financial
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health, mental health, physical health, and it's all one.
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You cannot be healthy without having like certain aspects in
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your life unhealthy. Yeah.
9:47
Healthy relationships or your body is unhealthy or your mind
9:51
is unhealthy or you eat unhealthy and then after a while
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you start feeling it like health wise again.
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So it's all connected and that's how I see our life and financial
10:01
health is very important too. And I'm working with a lot of
10:05
women. Yeah, this is so important for
10:08
us as women to learn to be independent and to to know how
10:15
to deal with money, how to have our own finances.
10:19
We live longer than men, but men are actually a lot of times in
10:22
control of our money. So a lot of times when the
10:26
husband is passing away, the women are lost.
10:29
Yes, my. Daughter was lost like this.
10:31
She suddenly lost my father. He was totally healthy.
10:37
And suddenly they discovered cancer was gone within two
10:40
weeks. Oh my gosh.
10:42
And then we realized that she never paid bills.
10:46
I did not even know about that. She never paid bills by herself.
10:50
She didn't know where to start. She didn't know what she has,
10:53
what accounts she has. And I see a lot of women like
10:57
this. Yeah, yeah.
10:59
So. For me to see also this aspect
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like a part of our health, because that's a piece of mind
11:06
that women need to have in order to continue living.
11:10
Well, yeah, and I think, you know, you do such a good job of
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connecting with these women, connecting their stories to a
11:17
bit. You made said something that's
11:19
so important, and I think we don't talk about it enough is
11:23
the stress that a lack of financial knowledge leaves us
11:28
with, the fear, all these things.
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And I think we make it into this bigger thing.
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But then once you're able to step in and help them see and
11:38
empower them that they can do that, the impact in a positive
11:43
way that that has on their mental and emotional health, it
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relieves stressors. They know where things are
11:50
coming from. They know how to access things.
11:52
They realize that they had it in them all along, it just had
11:56
never been tapped into. So there's such an empowerment
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that comes with you doing this work.
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And I think, you know, this really helps you and how you
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show up at you show up for yourself and supporting other
12:08
women unapologetically in this. And what I mean by that is
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you're fully comfortable and confident in your knowledge of
12:14
how you can help them. You saw it first hand with your
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mother. Is that so?
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Talk to me about that transition.
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We talked about you being in Israel and being in this
12:24
creative space and producing and behind the camera and all these
12:29
things that creativity LED you to.
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How did you get here? Because I met you in Southern
12:34
California, you know, last spring.
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So talk to me about the transition and how you got to
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the space you are today where you are able to support women in
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this, in these financial areas that are so huge for them.
12:48
It is huge for me. First of all, I think everything
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we do, it starts from inside out.
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So as an immigrant, finding myself quite in late 40s in
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America and starting over again and being afraid of what will
13:02
happen, where will I go? I don't have all the background
13:07
in America. I don't have the Social Security
13:09
that I paid in for 20-30 years. So that's my beginning actually,
13:14
to start looking at those things and connecting the streams.
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And first of all, really, I'm coming from a background again.
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I'm going back to the Soviet Union.
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Yeah. We our culture was that money is
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a taboo. We don't talk about money.
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This thing, money is a bad thing.
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We need to learn, we need to study, we need to develop
13:38
mentally and, you know, like the knowledge we have, but money is
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just not a good thing to talk about.
13:44
So I'm coming from a house that my parent never taught me.
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They had like, expectations, but they never taught me how to deal
13:53
with money actually. And then I started my new
13:55
business in Israel and I had a very hard time to ask for
14:00
payment. Yeah.
14:02
That's where I'm coming from. I learned it really on myself,
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like how to set boundaries, how to ask for money, how not to
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like apologize, excuse me, but yes, I need the money for living
14:19
and it doesn't matter. I think we all deserve I I work
14:24
for this money. I deserve to get the woman,
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simple as that. You don't have to explain
14:29
yourself. And that's where I'm coming to
14:31
today. Like that's again, the
14:33
unapologetic way to live. I don't explain myself to
14:38
everyone, it's just a simple thing.
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If we said I'm earning $20.00 a month an hour, that's what I'm
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supposed to get after whatever how many hours I worked, that's
14:49
the amount. Please pay that to me, that's
14:51
all. But I was ashamed to ask for
14:54
that. Wow.
14:55
That's why then I'm not there anymore.
14:59
So I learned a way to to build contracts and also to look into
15:05
my future. And that's what actually there's
15:08
something very interesting that I'm doing right now.
15:10
I'm starting to live my dream, which is very for many years, I
15:16
was looking at those TV shows where people go off grid and
15:22
don't pay for a housing anymore or pay off something little and
15:26
then just can live and earn money and save it for the
15:30
future. And that was the question that I
15:35
was asking myself all the time. The American Dream is actually
15:38
or the idea of the American dream is to pay off your house,
15:42
right? And to or 1K your retirement.
15:47
Now, if you look at it actually is people get to the retirement
15:53
age. They paid off the house, but the
15:56
house is a liability. It will still need repairs.
16:01
It needs to be paid for. The material is getting old.
16:04
So it's not that you paid off and it's done right.
16:08
Four O 1K is something that you think, oh, now I will live of
16:12
it. But you know what, you have a
16:14
partner. There's Uncle Sam sitting and
16:16
he's getting his taxes. Yes.
16:22
So those two things is actually something that I see a lot of
16:25
people have this wrong idea of retirement and when they get to
16:29
the retirement age, they actually cannot retire and they
16:33
are far from being in a place to live a good and comfortable
16:38
life. Yeah, yeah.
16:42
Yeah, and women, you know, let's say women again, they live
16:46
longer. And if you have two Social
16:49
securities coming in and partner unfortunately usually often are
16:55
the man, they are going faster, younger and then one of the
17:00
Social Security payments is falling off too.
17:03
So what do you have left? You have a partner and your
17:06
4-O1K and you have only one Social Security.
17:09
That is hardly, it's hardly enough to.
17:13
And then you have a house that you still have to pay repairs
17:16
and utilities and you cannot eat the house.
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So what are you doing? Exactly.
17:24
It's not a gingerbread house. The walls are not tasty.
17:29
So that's a big thing that I deal with a lot of people,
17:35
especially women. I find women in their 70s,
17:37
eighties that thought and nowadays people are living
17:41
easily till 90s and plus, you know, yeah, it's really coming
17:48
from my my fear. That's why I started learning
17:51
about it because it was really my fear.
17:54
So where I started actually going to is that after watching
17:58
all those TV shows about people who are intelligent in my eyes
18:03
to get away from this expectation or this false
18:08
illusion of American Dream and get off.
18:11
So what I did right now is actually I bought a Fixer upper
18:15
mobile home in the red area, which is still close to Los
18:20
Angeles, so that I can still probably go to meetings, but I'm
18:25
out of the nature. I paid off this house, including
18:29
the renovation. I'm going to move in there next
18:32
week and the I will have will be actually the land lease and like
18:38
the little utilities which will be a little bit above $1000 a
18:41
month. Wow.
18:43
I feel like I'm going to live my dream because whatever I will
18:47
earn will be actually me for my future.
18:51
And I know that $1000 you can always bring to the table and
18:57
it's not a huge amount that you can you don't have to worry
19:00
about. Right.
19:02
And that's what I think it's a very big thing in America.
19:05
People are closed in their mortgages for 30 years or they
19:09
refinance. So in their 50s, sixties, they
19:12
refinance another 30 years. So when do you think you want to
19:15
retire? Can you ever retire?
19:19
Yeah, yeah. So that's the thing for me to
19:23
look at people and see, you know, once I was asking what age
19:27
do you think you want to retire? But today, I would say to
19:30
everyone, retirement is not an age retirement.
19:37
That's really, I like that. I want to.
19:40
That is such a good way to put it because I think we go along
19:46
in life and we don't. And all of a sudden we get to
19:49
our 50s, early 60s and we haven't asked the questions.
19:52
We've just like, oh, the things have built and we've maybe we've
19:55
met with a financial advisor yearly, maybe we haven't.
19:58
But all of a sudden he's like, OK, it's really time to sit down
20:00
with them. I want to retire in X many
20:01
years. And then you sit down and you're
20:03
like, whoa. They said, you know, and and
20:07
which is what you're talking about, but that lifestyle piece,
20:10
how do you want to live? How are you going to be able to
20:13
live where you're non negotiables?
20:15
You know, what is sustainable for you?
20:18
That's such a great way to look at that and congratulations on
20:22
on this pursuit for you. I mean, that's very exciting to.
20:25
Say that I'm going to live my dream because my dream was being
20:28
in nature. I don't need much.
20:30
I need a nice little place that I can call my own and I will
20:34
have that, including a little garden.
20:37
So, you know, and it's outside of nature.
20:39
I have horse farms, ranches next to me.
20:43
Yeah. I do feel it's a kind of a dream
20:46
because I will not have the pressure and see, you know why?
20:51
I mean, like retirement is a lifestyle because if you do what
20:55
you like and you don't have to earn that money, but you're
20:59
earning that money so you can do a long time what you really like
21:04
without being in pressure. There is a big difference if you
21:06
have to earn your mortgage and your payments like 5000.
21:12
If you have to earn it while you're 70 or 70 plus, it's one
21:17
thing. If you have everything you need
21:19
and you still do what you like, that's your lifestyle.
21:23
Yeah. That's what I'm talking about
21:25
because I think that my profession will give me the
21:28
possibility to work long. I think it's like wine, it's
21:31
just getting better. You just get wiser.
21:34
You just have more knowledge. And the good thing is that I
21:38
will not have to earn huge amounts.
21:43
I want to earn money to provide for my future, yes.
21:48
Save more for the future, Yes, but I don't want to spend it
21:51
now. But just the house or just, you
21:55
know, something that is not so important, Yeah.
21:58
Absolutely. Just smart planning and I think,
22:01
you know, for people listening out there and especially for
22:04
women, if you don't know about your financials, get to know
22:08
your financials. Don't wait for the emergency to
22:12
happen, the unexpected loss to happen, the divorce to happen.
22:16
Whatever the case may be, get to know it now.
22:20
Start this and also think about what what How do you want your
22:24
life to look and what is good and what's going to make that
22:28
possible? You know, there's you know, you
22:32
obviously as you get older, you don't from a housing standpoint,
22:36
do you want to have enough space to host kids and grandkids or
22:40
will you be going to kids and grandkids place so you don't
22:42
need as much space? I mean, all these conversations
22:45
and things to think about so you can plan according to that.
22:50
I think there's such a wise way to look at it.
22:52
I love that approach and I'd love what you know, how you have
22:56
used, what you've learned over time to inform that, which goes
23:01
nicely into your why and your values.
23:04
You have learned, you know, you grew up a certain way where
23:07
money wasn't talked about. This is something you had to
23:09
learn the hard way. And so your why and your values
23:13
around doing this work now, wanting to empower and help
23:16
others to have that life, that retirement that they are hoping
23:22
for is such a strong correlation there.
23:25
When did you transition into this financial side of work?
23:30
Yes. Definitely.
23:31
And I, I hold with Angela, with my partner, we do a lot of
23:35
women's seminars and workshops. 1 is called Hot Money Moves,
23:41
which is actually making the money sexy because as you said,
23:49
it's it's scary to look into the mirror.
23:52
It's scary to open the books and we live in a society that are
23:56
that spending is called savings. Yeah.
24:00
Very funny because you're not saving, you're going to pay
24:03
money. But they say, oh, your savings
24:05
come and save here, but you leave money on the table.
24:07
So it's not saving women. This Society of this emotional
24:13
spending. Like we think, oh, I worked
24:15
hard, I deserve this. I'm driving home.
24:18
Oh, I feel like eating this or that.
24:20
So you just stop on the way and you buy this and that and you
24:24
just spend and spend and spend and even more since we have
24:28
Amazon. It's just an addictive thing.
24:31
And I'm talking about others, I'm talking about myself.
24:34
It's so comfortable to go, oh, I need this, OK, You just buy it.
24:38
You don't even feel the money because it's all online.
24:40
You don't know how much you spent.
24:43
And then you get the end of the month.
24:45
Oopsie, where? Where's my money?
24:48
So we're teaching actually the women how to deal with the money
24:54
in a way that you don't feel like you're punished.
24:56
You don't want to be punished. You still want to live a good
24:59
life, but you want to be a little bit more in control of
25:03
your money. So there's for instance, a rule,
25:05
it's the fifty 3020 rule. So 50% of the earnings you spend
25:11
on your utilities, the the needs, right?
25:15
The most important things, you cannot get away with that.
25:18
Whatever you have mortgage, your car, gas, all those things you
25:22
cannot say, you know what, I'm not paying this.
25:24
So those you have to that's the 50 percent, 30% it's for the
25:30
once you know, like you can see want what you need.
25:33
And also there you can start looking different at the things
25:37
like not buying impulsively, whatever you feel like the
25:41
moment. So there are ways to go with
25:44
that, especially like their their ideas.
25:48
Like put a sticker on the fridge.
25:51
If you want it after a week, go and buy it.
25:53
But sometimes we we buy something the day after you
25:57
don't even remember you bought it.
25:59
Yeah. 20% the last piece is actually put it away for your
26:05
future and better ways than the four O 1 case.
26:10
We can deal with money that is actually tax free where we won't
26:15
have any partners. Like for one if you have 100,000
26:21
you will leave John Uncle Sam 2030% when you take money out.
26:28
Historically we know that taxes are just growing.
26:32
So if you pay now 20, how much will it be in 10 years?
26:36
Yeah. Yeah, it's only going up.
26:38
It's not going down. I'm saying there's no way that
26:41
it will go down. I wish, but it won't.
26:44
Yeah. Like if you look at it, it's
26:46
just growing. So whatever we pay now, it will
26:48
be more later. So there are ways to earn your
26:52
money. Pay the taxes now and put it in
26:55
programs that will be tax free later.
26:59
Wow. So that's helping people to deal
27:01
with like you can accumulate your money and let it grow tax
27:05
free. So later when you take it out,
27:07
you don't have anyone to give your part.
27:11
Yeah. So that's very important to
27:15
understand those things as well, yeah.
27:17
Absolutely. I think it's.
27:19
Getting away from those old ideas of four O 1K and house
27:24
like all those you huge amounts that we pay for nothing I think
27:29
yeah like. Yeah.
27:32
And how much happiness does do so many of those things actually
27:35
bring us? Like, for instance, let's say
27:37
it's important to you in retirement, you want to be able
27:40
to travel. OK, So how what's going to be
27:43
possible for you to do that if you're going to be traveling all
27:47
the time? Do you need a big house with a,
27:51
you know, 234000 dollar mortgage sitting there when you know,
27:58
probably not. So I mean, I think, but we, but
28:01
I think the mistake we make is we wait until we're in the
28:05
moment to make the decision instead of, you know,
28:08
backtracking. And I think this is where you
28:10
really help them is like, let's plan for later now.
28:12
You're planning for yourself for later now.
28:16
So how can? I live live now and live later
28:19
according to what I want to. And I think also to yeah, the,
28:22
the online buying the Amazon has changed everything.
28:25
People just sit there and click and it's delivered the next day.
28:28
And it's not till you see the bill that you're like.
28:30
Oh, what was that? And, you know, so I and I think
28:34
we have kind of, especially in this capitalistic culture, a
28:38
misguided idea of needs. Do you need that?
28:42
No, you want that. But what is your, you know, and
28:45
this for me, shopping can be such a numbing exercise.
28:49
So what is so why, what are you? What is driving that?
28:53
What emotions do you need to go back and address, deal with what
28:56
hard thing is happening in your life?
28:58
What thing is making you uncomfortable?
29:01
It's actually just creating be more of a problem by build, you
29:05
know, you know, using this mechanism.
29:08
So there's a lot of things, so things that you can do to hold
29:10
yourself accountable of like, you know, there's the 24 hour
29:13
rule, there's the one week rule, there's the simply why am I
29:16
doing this rule and really being honest about what's a want
29:21
versus what's a need. Yes, yes, totally.
29:25
What's a want and what's a need? And also the needs we can make
29:30
lower. Yeah.
29:33
The ones, of course, we can make lower.
29:35
And I just remember the time when COVID started and Gary to
29:40
go to the shops because I was afraid to get sick.
29:45
And it was, it was looking like, you know, it will be like
29:49
everyone will die. So I was really.
29:51
Yeah. Then I realized, you know, I
29:53
lift myself the way that I'm talking about like I would my
29:58
pantry would. It was very wide.
30:00
My pantry was Trader Joe's, Sprouts.
30:05
Oh, I feel like this and that. And you have food in the fridge.
30:09
But you. Stop.
30:11
It. You get this and that and that
30:13
and this and then the things in the fridge are getting bad.
30:17
Yes, so went through. It, you know, when COVID
30:21
started, I was shopping maybe once in 2-3 weeks and then I
30:26
would finish up everything I have.
30:27
And you know what? You spend less.
30:30
You don't buy just because you feel like and you see how much
30:34
money you have left actually in your pockets when you just live
30:38
the way that let's finish everything we have.
30:41
Why? Why should I like the tomatoes
30:44
are rotting in the fridge because I felt like cucumbers,
30:47
Yeah. Exactly, exactly.
30:50
So doing that kind of inventory each day or however you plan
30:53
your meals, what's in here that I can use so it doesn't go bad
30:57
and I'm not wasting that. You know, before I, you know, I,
31:01
that is such a good point. And that's those little things
31:03
add up. Yes, and those little.
31:06
Things add up and even just cooking for yourself, preparing
31:09
meals at home a healthier B less expensive, like there's a double
31:14
win there. I don't love to cook, but I have
31:17
figured out ways that I can get what I need from a healthy
31:20
standpoint and, and, and, and simplified it.
31:23
Like it doesn't have to be these extravagant things.
31:26
I am a big fan of throwing some salmon and some veggies on a
31:31
platter and seasoning them and throwing them in the oven for,
31:35
you know, 3540 minutes. And there's, there's my dinner.
31:39
It was a side of your rice or roasted potatoes and I'm good to
31:42
go. I mean, or salad, you know,
31:44
there's just things that you can do to simplify it, even if you
31:47
don't love to cook like me. And I figured that out because
31:50
it does. It makes, again, it goes back to
31:52
impacting all those parts of our health or mental health or
31:55
emotional health or physical health or financial health.
31:57
They're all connected. Yes, and that's what I when I
32:00
came to the US, I'm gluten free, I'm sugar free by choice, not
32:04
because I have. Yeah.
32:07
I realized how unhealthy the food in America is because my
32:10
habit is actually anything I buy.
32:13
I will turn around and see the ingredients.
32:16
Yeah, almost every second or third ingredient is like sugar
32:19
or corn syrup, and you don't know why it has to be there.
32:24
And then the longer the list is, the the worse actually the food
32:29
is, because if you don't understand what you read there,
32:32
it means that it's not for anyone.
32:35
Yeah, the additives. The chemicals, I mean, if
32:37
there's yeah, that's really bad. And there are people, they say,
32:42
you know, they add so many but chemicals that even bacteria
32:46
doesn't want to eat it. But you know what?
32:48
You want actually bacteria to eat it because then it's
32:51
actually a fresh product. Yeah.
32:55
We need to that in a totally different way.
32:58
And if you look at it from this point, a lot of Americans
33:02
nowadays, they suffer from overweight, cancer.
33:06
We have cancer everywhere and other allergies and it's coming
33:11
from bad additives into our food.
33:13
So I think the cheaper way is actually yes, to go back to the
33:18
roots and eating healthy and it's going back to the holistic
33:22
approach of life because people who have those health issues,
33:28
they are not insurable. And that's the best thing too,
33:33
because another. Impact of of retirement and
33:35
figuring out your health insurance.
33:38
Exactly, so if you don't have enough money, you didn't take
33:41
care of your health, but it will catch up with you because we say
33:47
it's about 70% of our population that will need long term care
33:52
one day. Wow wow.
33:55
And I know from my own experience of going through it
33:57
with my inlaws that is not inexpensive.
34:00
It's very expensive and if we see in California that's even,
34:05
it's one of the most expensive states in America.
34:09
It's crazy. It's like at least 1020% higher
34:12
than any other place. Yeah, yeah.
34:16
Wow, you need to think about it. That's all.
34:18
Actually one the younger you are.
34:21
The. Faster you start taking care of
34:23
your health, what you eat of your finances, because the
34:29
younger you are, the more time you have to accumulate money for
34:33
later. There are programs that let your
34:35
money grow in a secure way, but you will have a huge income
34:39
later. You can start for your children
34:42
even. Yeah.
34:44
Yeah, so, but it's all, it's all one.
34:47
It's all one, the more you look at it as one health approach to
34:52
everything, your body, your finances, That's how I see it.
34:57
So that's where I'm coming back to how I came here.
35:01
It's actually because if you're stressed financially, you don't
35:06
know from what money you will live.
35:08
Or if you're sick, you don't know how you will pay for
35:12
doctors or how you pay for help like long term care.
35:17
That's a very bad thing. It's it's shortening our life,
35:21
yeah. Absolutely, absolutely.
35:23
Thank you so much for that. That's so good.
35:25
You talked about this already, but living out of your own
35:29
expectations versus others, this is something you've grown into
35:33
because so much of your life expectations were handed over to
35:37
you based on the cultures and spaces you are living in now.
35:40
You've gotten to a point today where I feel like you're really
35:43
able to finally live out of your own expectations, you know, and
35:47
in a way that is aligned with you.
35:50
Talk to me about the difference and how that feels to be there
35:53
now versus what you knew for much of your life before.
36:00
You know, I'm 55. I know who I am today.
36:03
So there's maybe when I was younger, I was wondering, who am
36:08
I? What can I do?
36:09
What can't I do? But today I know my strengths, I
36:12
know my weaknesses. I know who I am and I know my
36:17
values. So when I look at what I'm
36:19
doing, actually a lot of times I want to be happy with the woman
36:24
I see. So I really the approval from
36:27
somebody else to tell me, hey, you didn't behave.
36:31
You know, it's something that I want to be OK with myself
36:37
whatever I do. So that's where I also put my
36:40
boundaries. If there's, for instance, people
36:42
that are not behaving the way I like, I will remove myself.
36:46
So that's my bone. I don't want to waste my energy
36:50
anymore on things that are not important or not bringing
36:54
something good to my life. Yeah, conserving more my power.
36:59
I'm conserving my piece more. So that's very, very important
37:04
to me. Yeah, What I think something
37:07
else you've been able to do here, and I call this embracing
37:09
layers. You've been able to embrace all
37:13
the pieces and parts of your life, take what you needed to
37:15
learn from that season, and then I've applied it to the next.
37:19
And that can be complex because there's parts of our lives and
37:22
our journey sometimes that we don't like or we wish we didn't
37:25
have to go through or we wish hadn't happened to us.
37:28
And at some point, I tell people in order when I'm working with
37:31
women, in order for you to really understand and comprehend
37:35
your value, it's important for you to learn how to embrace all
37:39
these different layers in parts of you.
37:42
I, I feel like in our conversations and meeting you
37:46
and having this conversation today, that's a place you've
37:48
really gotten to talk to me about what it has taken for you
37:53
to get there. To be able to take all that the
37:56
spaces you lived in that you loved that you didn't and really
37:59
kind of help it inform and learn from and how you show up today.
38:06
Yeah, that's interesting because the layers are again, I was, if
38:10
I can remember. And again in America I had the
38:13
same thing. I was a stranger in every place
38:16
I was. I came with 9 to Germany and I
38:21
was there. So I I'm but I was called the
38:25
Russian because I came from the Soviet Union.
38:28
So it was always, and then the first year or several two years
38:31
maybe we had fights at school because I was the only stranger
38:35
in the whole school. So I was held a red flag for
38:39
them. We had a lot of fights, so I had
38:41
to stand up for myself. And on the other hand, I came to
38:47
Germany much more educated than other children.
38:51
I only finished last two school years in Russia, in the Soviet
38:55
Union and I started in the 4th class in Germany because I was I
38:59
had much more knowledge like in math and other things.
39:04
I just had to learn German, which was kind of fast for me.
39:07
Luckily. Sure.
39:09
So I learned that, but I had a lot of fights.
39:13
So that was the first thing until I established myself and
39:16
then I became like a special girl that was doing arts and I
39:21
was like maybe more. I became grown up faster, I
39:28
think. Yeah, I was 14.
39:31
I was already actually a grown up girl.
39:34
Well. A totally different person and
39:39
then with 23 I decided to go to Israel because again I all my
39:44
years in Germany I said we're Jewish so how do you live in
39:47
Germany as a Jew with all the. Yeah.
39:52
So I decided to go to Israel again.
39:55
Same thing. I come to Israel and I have to
39:59
learn the language. I have six months because I was
40:01
accepted to the Academy of Art, but they said you need to speak
40:04
Hebrew and I. Have.
40:06
Only six months to learn Hebrew in order to start studying.
40:10
So I'm jumping one class in between to finish three layers
40:14
of Hebrew classes in order to start.
40:17
So I did that same thing. My Hebrew was not good enough.
40:21
So I remember being always ashamed and I would stand in
40:24
front of my class and feel like the red is coming up.
40:28
Yeah, blowing. My ears were glowing.
40:31
So, you know, I was always kind of the stranger and the same
40:34
started here. I came to the US because after
40:37
many years in Israel, I felt like it is love, hate.
40:42
It's a beautiful country, but it's always dangerous.
40:47
It's always struggle. And sadly, I had to say I really
40:52
didn't want to be there anymore. I want calmer life.
40:56
So I came to the US and I do believe we have a lot of freedom
41:00
and possibilities out here. And who am I?
41:05
Am I German, Russian, Jewish? Who am I?
41:11
But you know what? I feel like I'm everything.
41:15
I'm this I'm speaking languages every day.
41:19
I have friends that I'm speaking Russian with.
41:21
I have friends I'm speaking Hebrew with.
41:23
I'm speaking English. Of course, every day German,
41:26
some. And sometimes it's funny because
41:31
I come to a person and I start speaking, they look at me like,
41:34
what's going on? And I said you speak a different
41:38
language. So I don't even realize
41:39
sometimes that I speak a different language to a person.
41:44
Wow, Oh my gosh, that's very funny.
41:46
You've got so many. I think it's remarkable to be
41:49
fluent in that many languages. I think that's incredible.
41:52
Thank you for weaving us through your story and all the pieces
41:58
and parts of it you have. There's so much tapestry and I
42:02
really, I go back to your, your character trait of rich.
42:07
This really brings it all together.
42:09
It's a rich, complex, difficult, beautiful, nuanced layering of
42:16
your life. It has all those pieces and
42:18
components to it. You've been able to embrace
42:22
that. You've been able to learn and
42:23
evolve and grow and, and adapt and which has really brought you
42:28
to this ability to live out what I call feel.
42:31
You have found your empowerment. You have braced, have embraced
42:35
your layers. You've talked about earlier how
42:37
you're mindful about relationships, the people you
42:41
surround yourself with and knowing who you're going to give
42:44
your energy to and and who and what you're not going to give
42:47
your energy to. When do you think you were able
42:50
to kind of realize the importance of who you surround
42:54
yourself with? You know, I think we're always
42:58
on the way. I cannot say that I'm already
43:00
products. Yeah.
43:03
It's always a development. It's like I would, yeah, it's
43:08
something that I realize it and sometimes I'll fall back and
43:13
then I'll try again. So it's never something that I
43:15
would say I'm done. That's who I am, I think.
43:19
And I think it's sad when there are people, they say this is
43:22
this is what you know, this is who I am.
43:25
This is a person who is limiting himself or herself.
43:29
I think we are always learning. We're always developing.
43:33
I heard Deepak Chopra, he explains it very nice.
43:37
He says, When I was 18, I remember the body I was living
43:43
in or what you don't look like you're were with 18, right?
43:49
So we know it's obvious, but actually we changed already.
43:53
The house, the body, we live and we're not the same outside.
43:57
We feel maybe the same, but we're not the same anymore.
44:01
So I like the idea of seeing everything like that too.
44:04
I lived in that body then now I'm living in this body.
44:07
I don't know what body will be when I'm 70.
44:10
Yeah. You know, at the same with our
44:12
mind, I think we're just growing and if we say it is what it is,
44:17
then we're limiting ourselves. I think we change and we're
44:20
allowed to change. Yeah, we can change our mind if
44:25
we understand something. Some people understand something
44:28
with 80, some understand with 50.
44:30
So I think that's the idea of our life, that we can learn more
44:36
and become something different or add on to what we have.
44:42
Yeah, I love that, the curiosity, you know, I love that
44:46
so much. You do.
44:47
You'll run into people sometimes.
44:49
And I had this, I had this experience a while back.
44:52
We were at dinner with a group of people.
44:54
And this one, this woman in the group stated, this is how I am.
44:58
I'm not changing. I'm at this point now.
45:00
And I'm like, that's such a limiting way to live.
45:04
And she was one of those people too, where she wasn't, you could
45:07
tell she was unsettled, you know, you know, she wasn't
45:11
content. She in many aspects.
45:14
And so I was like, you know, embrace the curiosity.
45:17
There's always room to evolve, change, grow.
45:20
You've learned more. You might decide something you
45:23
thought, you believed, you've learned more.
45:25
And you realize, oh, I don't believe that anymore.
45:27
And that's OK. That's a good thing.
45:29
And it, and it, I think that adds to our life.
45:32
It keeps our lives fresh and vibrant as we allow that
45:36
continuation of of figuring out who we are and and learning more
45:42
and more about that. Yes, yes.
45:45
And that's in every field I think.
45:47
And our needs change. So we I think the most important
45:52
thing is to be again close to yourself, to listen to yourself
45:56
more. Yeah.
45:57
And I think that yoga is teaching me that a lot because
46:02
it's teaching me to be the viewer of myself, react, to
46:09
respond. Like there's a nice sentence
46:13
that says yoga starts when you want to exit the position you're
46:19
in. As you stand in a position and
46:23
say, wow, look at this, I can stand like this.
46:25
And then you say, OK, that's enough.
46:27
And I feel my leg hurting or my breath is getting heavier and I
46:31
said, OK, it's enough. Right now, it's not enough.
46:33
So now stand there and say, oh, that's interesting.
46:36
My leg hurts. And you still stand there and
46:40
you try not to, you know, not to be like, you know, just cramp
46:45
up, just seeing what you feel without reacting.
46:50
And I think that's what we can take to our life as well.
46:54
Yeah. Responding when we feel it's the
46:58
right moment, but not reacting this back and forth, that's a
47:01
lot of time a bad thing, I think, yes.
47:04
I think so too. I love the way you explained
47:06
that. Thank you so much.
47:07
All right, we are winding down here.
47:10
Name 5 activities that nourish you.
47:15
So we started yoga. I love art and music nourish me
47:21
a lot. I love preparing food, healthy
47:25
food. What do we have?
47:28
Three. I love nature and I love good
47:34
company. So that's the thing.
47:37
Those things are nurturing me a lot in my life.
47:40
Yeah. I love that.
47:41
All right, 5 words on how you want to feel the next six
47:45
months. I want to feel joy, I want to
47:52
feel lightness, I want to feel security.
47:59
I love feeling purpose and peace.
48:05
I think peace, it's a very important thing.
48:09
That's how we can usually function the best when we are
48:13
not stressed. Absolutely.
48:16
Clear heads present. Absolutely.
48:18
Yeah. I love that so much.
48:20
Irena. Tell people where they can find
48:22
you and follow you, work with you.
48:24
They're like, they heard you today.
48:26
Like, oh, she's the financial advisor I need in my life.
48:30
How can they? How can they find you?
48:33
They can find me on Perennial Insurance, Irena Perennial
48:36
insurance.com OK, that's simple. They can e-mail me.
48:41
They can call me and I would love just to hear what people
48:48
have, what they want. There's not one cookie cutter
48:51
form for everyone where the life story comes in.
48:57
It's important to hear the person and see what they need
49:00
and what they want. Everyone different and there is
49:03
not one way to deal with things. So if I think my way is great to
49:08
have a little fixer upper, it doesn't mean it fits you, but
49:12
you can do your way something that will make you happy.
49:16
So, you know, it's, that's why I like listening to people and
49:20
just finding a creative way to, to help them.
49:25
Yeah, yeah. I love that.
49:27
So good. All right.
49:29
Any last thoughts you'd like to leave with our listeners today?
49:39
I would like the women to be connected to themselves not or
49:50
to get the OK from outside. All answers are inside, so I
49:55
think the most important thing to take the time to listen to
49:59
your heart. Yeah.
50:01
Yes, so good. I don't need to add anything to
50:04
that. Ladies, that's what you're
50:06
taking with you today. So good.
50:08
Irena, thank you so much for your time today.
50:10
I'm so glad our paths crossed. This was really nice talking to
50:14
to Melissa. Thank you for having me here.
50:17
Absolutely, absolutely. All right, listeners, you heard
50:20
whatever you'd have said connect with yourself, trust yourself,
50:24
trust that what's already within you.
50:26
Thank you for listening with us here today on the Field Podcast.
50:29
We'll see you next time. Take care.
50:32
Hello and thank you so much for being with us today on this
50:36
episode of the Field podcast. If you would like more
50:40
information on how you can apply these talking points that I
50:44
share with our guests in each episode to your your own life,
50:48
really utilize this feel framework, go to
50:52
embracinglayers.com, fill out our contact form and let's set
50:57
up a free 30 minute consultation to talk about how you can start
51:02
living your most authentic, organic, healthy, feel fueled
51:07
life. Thanks again for being with us
51:09
today. We'll be back to you soon with
51:11
another episode here on the Feel Podcast.