Latest / All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting / 96. Feel better NOW and find joy in life's little pleasures with Catherine Roscoe Barr

Transcript

96. Feel better NOW and find joy in life's little pleasures with Catherine Roscoe Barr · All Figured Out with Andrea Barr: Figuring Out Work, Life and Parenting

• 0:01
  Welcome back to the All Figured Out podcast.
• 0:03
  I am your host, Andrea Barr, and it is such a pleasure to be
• 0:07
  coming to you on video. If you were watching this on
• 0:11
  YouTube. Hello.
• 0:12
  I hope you are enjoying doing your makeup, doing the dishes,
• 0:16
  just having us serve me entertain you while you're doing
• 0:20
  the mundane tasks of life and parenting.
• 0:22
  So this is a really special episode.
• 0:24
  This is the very first one that I have recorded in person.
• 0:27
  This is an introduction that I'm obviously recording after the
• 0:30
  fact. And it was so special to get to
• 0:32
  really invest in the quality of this podcast.
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  We are 96 episodes in almost three years and it has just been
• 0:41
  such a blast, such a ride and I can't wait to bring bring you
• 0:44
  more of this quality and this leveling up of all figured out
• 0:48
  into your ears. And now onto YouTube.
• 0:50
  So if this is something that you usually listen to on Spotify or
• 0:54
  Apple, I encourage you to head over to YouTube as well and go
• 0:57
  subscribe and have a little watch.
• 1:00
  So this episode is also very special because I have the
• 1:03
  incredible Catherine Roscoe bar with me.
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  I interviewed her in person and she is just phenomenal.
• 1:12
  We met, we hit it off right away.
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  I won a copy of her book, which is just the best and I devoured
• 1:20
  the book. It's called Feel Better Now and
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  she is just an incredible human being.
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  So I knew I had to have her on the podcast.
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  Catherine Roscoe Bar is a neuroscience based Wellness
• 1:29
  coach. She's the best selling author of
• 1:31
  Feel Better Now and she is the founder of The Life Delicious.
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  She also hosts hosts amazing retreats, which I will put all
• 1:38
  that information in the show notes so you can go check them
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  out. She's got I'm here in British
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  Columbia, one is happening in near Victoria in January and
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  then next summer she's doing one in the Okanagan.
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  So definitely something to start saving up for to invest in
• 1:53
  yourself in it is going to be incredible.
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  And I hope to be attending. I think the January 1 myself.
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  So TBD, but I digress. OK, so Catherine is here to
• 2:03
  share how we can all feel better.
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  Now. I know that as a parent, a mom
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  of 2A working professional, there's so many times where I'm
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  like now I could just be so much more effective at life and just
• 2:14
  enjoy life better if in this moment I could just feel a bit
• 2:17
  better. Catherine's approach is so
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  grounded. Her book is so grounded.
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  She is such a grounded person and her whole belief is that you
• 2:25
  can feel better now through simple life pleasures, practical
• 2:28
  self-care and powerful neuroscience based actions,
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  which I freaking love. That aspect of her is the fact
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  that she is a neuroscientist and comes at this with a really
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  grounded approach. We dive into everything from the
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  vagus nerve to her flexible framework for well-being and how
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  to really be intentional with self love and what might be
• 2:49
  missing when you're just coming back to yourself and your
• 2:53
  relationships. If you have been feeling
• 2:55
  stretched then, if you're craving more balance or if you
• 2:58
  just want more joy in your everyday life, you are
• 3:01
  absolutely going to love listening or watching this
• 3:05
  episode. I hope you enjoy.
• 3:16
  When I was in my 20s and I was really depressed, I looked super
• 3:19
  fit because I was a personal trainer, but I ate junk food and
• 3:23
  fast food all the time and I didn't connect the dots that
• 3:26
  eating junk makes you feel like junk.
• 3:28
  Pretty much every human I've ever met is so kind and so
• 3:32
  giving and so generous, and they don't reflect that back to
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  themselves equally. When you generally smile at
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  someone, ask telling your brain I'm safe, I'm connected, that's
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  the parasympathetic nervous. System true or false?
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  Can you drink cold water and it stimulates the vagus nerve?
• 3:47
  What's that thing I maybe saw on TikTok?
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  Catherine Roscoe Varr, thanks for joining me on the All
• 3:56
  Figured Out podcast. Thanks for having me, that's so
• 3:58
  excited. Oh, I could love you, girl.
• 4:00
  We met a couple maybe a month ago, Yeah, or so.
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  I was in the audience of an International Women's Day event
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  that you were speaking on the panel for.
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  I was in love with every single one of you on the panel.
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  And then I just so happened to win a copy of Feel Better Now
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  then signed by Catherine Roscoe herself, and it would just felt
• 4:20
  so pleasant. And I started reading it.
• 4:21
  I slid into your DMS. I was like, um, hi, my name is
• 4:25
  Andrea Barr. Yeah haha.
• 4:26
  Last name, we met Shy and I was like, will you come in my
• 4:30
  podcast? You were so gracious to say yes.
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  My gosh, I'm so excited to have this conversation.
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  With you, I'm so excited. And then I started devouring
• 4:39
  your book and no relation. No relation.
• 4:42
  Well, I married into this name, I think.
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  You did. I married into this name.
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  Too. Yeah.
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  So maybe there's a relation. Of made of ancestors.
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  We gotta get together and figure it out, yes.
• 4:50
  These Scottish, I think Scottish, Scottish men, yes,
• 4:56
  we'll stop stories one day about their isms.
• 5:00
  You have an incredible story. I know that through hearing you
• 5:04
  speak and now just a glimpse into your book.
• 5:07
  But I'm so excited to just ask you about your journey into your
• 5:10
  career and motherhood and what Wellness looks like to you and
• 5:15
  all the things. So how do we, where do we even
• 5:18
  start? How did you even how did you get
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  into the Wellness industry? It's a long story.
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  I'll give you the condensed version for anyone listening who
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  hasn't figured out what they want to be when they grow up
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  yet. Just take heart and and just
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  keep going. I started my degree in pre vet
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  then I switched to pre Med. I found fitness while doing my
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  degree and I wanted to promote health rather than treat
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  disease. I started my career outside of
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  university working at a retirement home as the social
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  and fitness director which was incredible.
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  Got to see what it looks like to take care of yourself.
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  Like my old clients were 98 and 102.
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  I talk about their story in the book and they were so healthy
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  and with it and just incredible. So that was.
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  They would hold hands and dance. And the housekeepers would find
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  them like getting it on, which I was like, I want that to be me
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  when I'm 102, busted by housekeeping.
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  And I worked in gyms for 10 years.
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  And then I got really, really burnt out.
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  I wasn't taking my own advice. I wasn't practicing what I
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  preached. I was really unhappy.
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  So I switched to freelance writing and I started writing
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  about design and travel and food and cocktails.
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  And then I landed on well-being. And as I began researching and
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  just kind of retreating back into myself, one day, I was
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  like, I'm really well, like, how did I get here?
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  I've been trying for 15 years to be well.
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  And something had really shifted in me.
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  And so I had sworn I would never work with people again.
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  I just wanted to be like a reclusive writer in my robe
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  alone in my own home. So I decided to start a coaching
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  practice. I kind of reverse engineered
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  what had helped me get to my happy place, created a
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  curriculum, got set to launch it.
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  And the year that I decided I'm going to be well on this coach,
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  it was the hardest year of our life.
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  My husband was in two major accidents, had a bad concussion.
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  I had a miscarriage. I was really sick for a long
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  time and had to have multiple procedures.
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  We lost our we got kicked out of our home.
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  He lost his job. It was like the most awful
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  things that could happen to us. However, we kind of looked at
• 7:31
  each other and we're like, I'm kind of OK, are you OK?
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  Like I'm going, OK, how are we OK?
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  And I was like, oh, it's because we were practicing this stuff
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  I'm set to share with people. And so I told a friend and I was
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  like, I'm in really rough shape. I can't teach this stuff to
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  anyone. And she was like, I need it.
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  And another friend was like, I need it.
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  And that's how I started. And that was in 2013.
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  And I've been sharing what I wrote in the book since then and
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  I do multi day retreats and I still write and I I really
• 8:00
  wanted to have a accessible way for anyone to get my advice.
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  And as I mentioned, I'm very reclusive, so this way I can
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  share with more people and still stay in my bathroom with Home
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  Alone. Well, thank you for getting
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  dressed today. It's no small food.
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  And in the midst of all this, you had your.
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  Daughter, yeah, as well Yeah, I had her at 38.
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  My husband and I were together for 19 years before we had our
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  daughter, so it was a very intentional thing and we love
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  her. She's so great.
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  Also, parenting is hard. It's.
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  Hard, It's hard. It's so hard.
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  It made me, it, it almost like postpartum almost took me back
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  to my, my hard, hard days before I became well.
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  And I think that that was a really important life lesson for
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  me as a coach, as a writer, as a human to figure out, you know,
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  OK, my morning routine is not 2 1/2 hours anymore and literally
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  2 minutes cause I got a screaming and screaming baby.
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  And so it's, it's really informed what I call the
• 9:02
  flexible framework in the book because, you know, we can be,
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  well, we don't need 2 or 4 or 8 hours a day.
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  We can take 2 minutes to just breathe and comfort ourselves
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  and move our body and hang out with awesome people and have
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  important conversations. So.
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  Yeah, and nourish and like, I love the reclaiming your
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  well-being and just simple, the power of simple pleasures.
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  Just like even on one book cover, I'm like, yes, yes, yes,
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  yes. I want to feel better.
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  Who doesn't want to feel better? Yeah, Even if you feel great,
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  you wanna feel better, better. Yeah.
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  And you're allowed to want more. Yes.
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  Always. It's like a spectrum that just
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  goes on and on and on and yeah. We take it back.
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  I know you're, you're very open about suffering with depression
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  for a long time, many years. And my, I lost my dad to suicide
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  when I was young and, and four before I knew what that was or
• 9:54
  that's how he died. No, it just, it really, it just,
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  um, I don't know if I've ever did that on this podcast, but
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  yeah, that's, that's part of my story.
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  And so mental health is a real close, real near and dear.
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  I've had my own ups and downs, but in your journey suffering
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  with depression for 15 years. I think you said how I mean, if
• 10:16
  as much as you're willing, like what was it, you know, what was
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  it that was pulling you back now that you're in hindsight and you
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  saw what pulled you out? Yeah, well.
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  You're also a neuroscientist. I know this brain comes.
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  Yeah, part of it, a big part of it, and this is a discovery that
• 10:33
  keeps unfolding for me, and I just sort of spoke about it last
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  week for the first time with the clarity that I have today, is
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  that I was focused on the wrong things.
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  And part of that is that I didn't have the tools or the
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  understanding to focus on the right things.
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  And I think This is why so many of us are suffering.
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  And that's what I'm so passionate about.
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  Our brain has a negativity bias that is an important built-in
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  safety mechanism that kept our ancestors alive, you know,
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  poisonous plant, dangerous animal, warring tribe, you know,
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  like the people who survived to so that we're here today were
• 11:08
  probably the ones that were most negative.
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  But now where we live and how we live, we're generally physically
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  safe. But this negativity bias is also
• 11:19
  picks up on psychological threats and and especially with
• 11:22
  digital devices now we can feel threatened all the time.
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  We can feel like you don't measure up to what we see on
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  Instagram or in magazines or anywhere.
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  And so, um, just, I just sort of fed into this negative
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  rumination that so many of us can get.
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  But the awesome thing that I discovered, and I think the most
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  powerful thing we all have inside of us is choice and
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  awareness. And now I can see, oh, I'm, I'm
• 11:52
  spiraling. And at any moment you can stop
• 11:55
  yourself on that spiral and say, OK, I see it.
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  It doesn't have to be this way. I'm choosing to just spiral up
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  to spiral in a different direction.
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  And so when I learned that that's what turned my life
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  around when I turned 30 was was rock bottom for me.
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  I, I, I, I talk about it in the book, but I, you know, I, I
• 12:17
  considered taking my life cause I was so unhappy.
• 12:20
  But on the outside it looked like I was so happy.
• 12:23
  Actually, one of my clients said, one of the hardest things
• 12:25
  I ever heard was a client say, you're the happiest person I've
• 12:27
  ever met. And I thought, what a lie.
• 12:29
  Like, wow, I need to live in alignment.
• 12:31
  I want the outer reflection of me to match the inner reflection
• 12:35
  of me. And so building mindful
• 12:37
  awareness of just noticing how things make me feel.
• 12:40
  And the pillars they talk about in the book, like when I was in
• 12:43
  my 20s and I was really depressed, I looked super fit
• 12:46
  because I was a personal trainer, but I ate junk food and
• 12:49
  fast food all the time. And I didn't connect the dots
• 12:52
  that junk makes. Eating junk makes you feel like
• 12:54
  junk. Yeah.
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  And it just fuels and not prioritizing sleep and just
• 12:58
  basic needs. Like these are basic needs that
• 13:01
  we all have. And it's so fascinating to me
• 13:04
  that so many people can be disconnected from what they
• 13:07
  really need. And I think there's so much
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  power to just ask yourself the question, did that serve me?
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  Because that's when you can create change and stop the
• 13:16
  downward spiral and create an upper.
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  And yeah, change the flow, like, yeah, the river flow stopped
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  like making things so hard. Why do you believe we know what
• 13:26
  to do? We know we should drink water,
• 13:27
  we should sleep. We know we should spend time
• 13:29
  with quality people. Have community, Be a part of
• 13:32
  something, be a part of something bigger than yourself.
• 13:35
  Why do you think that we don't do it?
• 13:37
  Asking for a friend. 'S mom of. 2 You know, the
• 13:41
  daughter of a hydration, dehydration headache.
• 13:43
  And I'm like, you haven't beat him.
• 13:45
  Like I thought. The fuck is wrong with you,
• 13:46
  Audrey? Like harden my crassness, but
• 13:49
  I'm like, what is wrong with me? Yeah.
• 13:52
  Why did I do that to myself? Yeah, first of all, I love
• 13:54
  crassness. That's my favorite word.
• 13:56
  Is my word to my child. Well, no, no, I was going to
• 13:58
  say. That yeah, anyways.
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  OK, I lost my. Train OK, OK, OK I will do that.
• 14:06
  Yelling about dehydration and why am I?
• 14:08
  Why do we do that to ourselves? So I talk about this in the
• 14:10
  book. This is a fascinating to me, the
• 14:12
  gap between knowing and doing. Yes, this is where this is such
• 14:15
  a struggle for for people and I really spend so much time
• 14:19
  thinking about this. Part of it is unmindful Ness,
• 14:22
  which is the opposite of mindfulness.
• 14:23
  Unmindful Ness is not being aware of how what we think, what
• 14:27
  we say and what we do makes us feel.
• 14:28
  And when we don't have that awareness, it's easy to keep.
• 14:32
  Nobody wakes up in the morning says today I want to feel
• 14:35
  terrible. Nobody says that we all want to
• 14:37
  feel good. We all want to feel better, yes.
• 14:39
  But there's a disconnect where we aren't realizing that what
• 14:42
  we're doing is affecting how we feel.
• 14:45
  And so the switch to mindfulness is really important.
• 14:47
  And that's what I've been focused on and even since I
• 14:49
  wrote the book. So I finished the, I finished
• 14:52
  writing it last spring, almost a year ago, actually more than a
• 14:55
  year ago. And and then it was like a year
• 14:58
  of editing. But what I've realized lately is
• 15:01
  that once we get past that mindfulness, least there's still
• 15:04
  there's still a barrier to taking care of ourselves.
• 15:06
  And I really believe it's self love.
• 15:08
  I really believe it's self love that we that we have a limit on
• 15:13
  what we believe is possible for ourselves, that we don't think
• 15:17
  we deserve to pour into ourselves.
• 15:19
  You know, the people I work with in my life and pretty much every
• 15:23
  human I've ever met is so kind and so giving and so generous,
• 15:28
  and they don't reflect that back to themselves equally.
• 15:31
  And so that's the mission gone. Now is like self compassion,
• 15:35
  self love. And anytime we realize, hey, I'm
• 15:41
  super dehydrated, like, like I do it too.
• 15:43
  I am teaching this because I need it more than anybody I feel
• 15:46
  like. And it's a good reminder every
• 15:47
  time I talk about it to be like, Oh yeah, I need to do this for
• 15:50
  myself too. But yeah, we just need to
• 15:53
  realize that when we love ourselves, we show up
• 15:55
  differently, especially as parents.
• 15:57
  Like wow when I don't care for myself I am so much less patient
• 16:02
  and loving and kind with my child.
• 16:04
  Hate showing up that way. I hate it.
• 16:05
  It's the worst feeling in the world.
• 16:07
  And so I prioritize my well-being from the lens of how
• 16:11
  can I show up in the world as the most loving version of
• 16:13
  myself. And when I'm not, I have grace
• 16:17
  and say like, it's OK, but girl, do better tomorrow.
• 16:22
  Spiral up. Yeah, yeah.
• 16:23
  Yeah, I, I, I think that's so beautiful.
• 16:25
  There's so much, there's so much to that.
• 16:27
  It's like the, in your head, you know, the things you need to do,
• 16:31
  but the mindfulness it feels like brings you.
• 16:33
  That's what I was getting from your book too, is it brings you
• 16:35
  back into your body, creates more awareness of, it's
• 16:38
  connecting the two things because we, we're all very,
• 16:40
  we're all very intelligent. We're in an information overload
• 16:44
  age and it's amazing and it's overwhelming.
• 16:47
  And I love to consume so much information.
• 16:50
  I think a lot of us do. People are listening to this
• 16:52
  podcast right now because they loved consumer information and
• 16:55
  they're like, that's great. And maybe that's for somebody
• 16:58
  else. That's for the person who really
• 16:59
  needs it. I'm OK, I'm OK, but but it does
• 17:02
  take self love to be like, I deserve this too.
• 17:04
  I deserve to tap into my body to spend 5 seconds breathing, like
• 17:09
  putting my feet on the ground, going outside, doing the thing
• 17:12
  that I love, just having fun. Like the even the fact that you
• 17:14
  talked about simple pleasures, even reading, that was what I
• 17:17
  was so attracted to opening this book because who doesn't want
• 17:21
  simple pleasure, that simple sugar?
• 17:23
  It's like, simple. It's like, yeah.
• 17:25
  True joy they're everywhere has and they don't take a lot of
• 17:30
  effort and they don't generally take any money in very little
• 17:33
  time and to inject like micro moments of joy and pleasure into
• 17:37
  your life like that makes life so much.
• 17:40
  Better I know it isn't that what you want when you look back on
• 17:42
  your life when you're 95 or 98 and 102 and old care home you're
• 17:47
  getting caught doing it by the and then talk about like that's
• 17:52
  it yeah, that's that's it yes, that's it.
• 17:54
  I particularly devoured I couldn't put down the neuro the
• 17:59
  neuroscience section of your. Book Yay I.
• 18:03
  Did not do well in chemistry, biology.
• 18:05
  I always loved it, but I couldn't memorize all this stuff
• 18:08
  and like figure out the periodic table.
• 18:09
  So no, I was not a neuroscientist.
• 18:11
  I got into like I was in the arts and I did marketing and all
• 18:14
  that Amazing. But I loved it because you did
• 18:17
  it. You just explained neuroscience
• 18:18
  in such a such a digestible way, in a way that just made me be
• 18:22
  like, oh, yeah, that makes sense.
• 18:24
  And someone who has been on antidepressants and has, there's
• 18:27
  mental health stuff rampant, you know, in my surrounding life,
• 18:32
  I'm like, Oh my gosh, this just makes sense.
• 18:35
  So for those listening who have yet to listen, read, watch.
• 18:40
  Don't think it's a movie yet? Your book next year, did you
• 18:45
  give us the Neuroscience 101? You know, particularly I was
• 18:49
  writing down some idea. It's just the nervous system
• 18:50
  like that is so busy right now. Yes, I think for good reason.
• 18:53
  But could you give us like that foundation?
• 18:55
  Like what is the nervous system? What does our brain have to do
• 18:58
  with feeling better? Yeah, I would love to and thank
• 19:01
  you for saying it's digestible because that was my intention
• 19:04
  that when we like knowledge is power, knowledge is power.
• 19:07
  And this vehicle we are operating, that is our body.
• 19:10
  If we understand how to do that, then our life can be so much
• 19:13
  better. So I think the easiest way to
• 19:17
  describe the nervous system is that it what helps us go and
• 19:22
  helps us stop. And so we've heard of the two
• 19:25
  branches of the nervous system, which are the sympathetic and
• 19:28
  the parasympathetic nervous system.
• 19:30
  And the parasympathetic branch is like our break.
• 19:33
  It helps us stop at the gas station and fill ourselves up.
• 19:37
  And the sympathetic nervous system is our accelerator.
• 19:40
  And so that's what we're talking about when we say we're in the
• 19:44
  stress response. And so stress is not bad.
• 19:46
  We need stress to get stuff done.
• 19:49
  We need to move and engage and achieve in life.
• 19:54
  But we can't press accelerator until we're empty.
• 19:57
  If anyone has ever had a car and driven it till you actually run
• 20:00
  out of gas, bad things happen. Like, like bad things happen.
• 20:04
  And so we want to recognize that feeling of where our tank is at
• 20:08
  in our own body so we can stop to fill up before we, you know,
• 20:14
  that our body literally starts to fall apart.
• 20:17
  On fumes. Yeah, so many, so many physical
• 20:21
  ailments are due to stress. And, you know, especially for
• 20:25
  women who are managing households and managing jobs and
• 20:28
  managing just the life of their family, they aren't stopping to
• 20:33
  fill themselves up. And, you know, all humans are
• 20:37
  suffering right now, but like, mothers especially are, like,
• 20:41
  burnt out and not in a joyful place.
• 20:44
  And so I think knowing that accelerator and brake part is
• 20:48
  really important. And then the second piece that's
• 20:50
  really busy right now is the vagus nerve.
• 20:53
  What is the vagus nerve? It's actually a pair of nerves,
• 20:55
  and it's the primary pathway of the parasympathetic nervous
• 20:58
  system. It is our break, and it comes
• 21:01
  out of the base of our skull and runs all the way down to our
• 21:04
  pelvic floor. And so it innervates our eyes,
• 21:07
  our mouth, our throat, our heart, our lungs, our gut, and
• 21:10
  our pelvic floor. The cool thing about the vagus
• 21:14
  nerve is that it's 80% afferent. So most of the communication is
• 21:19
  our body talking to our brain. So efferent means brain to body
• 21:23
  and afferent means body to brain.
• 21:26
  And so our vagus nerve allows our body to talk to our brain
• 21:30
  and get us out of sympathetic and into parasympathetic through
• 21:36
  inner like using the parts of your body that that nerve
• 21:39
  innervates. So when you genuinely smile at
• 21:42
  someone, that's telling your brain I'm safe, I'm connected.
• 21:46
  That's the parasympathetic nervous system is safety and
• 21:48
  connection when you use your voice.
• 21:51
  So when we hum or sing or chant, we change the tone of our voice.
• 21:55
  When we're really stressed, our voice rises.
• 21:58
  When we're in our power, our voice is lower.
• 22:01
  That's that vibration is telling our vagus nerve to tell our
• 22:04
  brain we are safe and connected. Yeah.
• 22:07
  When we exercise and use our heart and lungs, we are
• 22:10
  communicating safety to our brain.
• 22:13
  Then we eat good food, you know our guts called our second
• 22:17
  brain. That's a hugely important and
• 22:19
  one of the like part of the reason my my my business is
• 22:23
  called the life Delicious is that delicious, simple foods can
• 22:27
  change the way we feel. And lastly, orgasm tells our
• 22:31
  brain we are safe and connected. And so I think especially for
• 22:34
  parents, my next book is going to be about sex, love and
• 22:38
  relationships. And I think that all parents
• 22:40
  should be orgasming often because life is so much better
• 22:44
  than. Yeah, it just makes sense.
• 22:47
  Yeah. Oh my gosh, Oh, you're so good
• 22:50
  at it. Like every listen to this one
• 22:52
  section over and over because I read it and I've now heard it
• 22:56
  and I need to hear it again because there's so much in there
• 22:58
  like and I love the visuals. I'm very visual, but like the
• 23:01
  the pair of near like the Vegas rooms, a pair of nerves and the
• 23:04
  parasympathetic sympathetic like and that is so insanely cool
• 23:07
  about the body telling our brain you're safe like that is so.
• 23:13
  Isn't it? There's so much power so we can
• 23:15
  think it. We can use our mind to tell our
• 23:17
  brain, yeah, I can see that I'm safe.
• 23:20
  I can hear that, like, OK, I'm safe.
• 23:22
  But if that isn't working, you can use your body.
• 23:24
  You can go for a walk. You Can Dance.
• 23:26
  You can get your heart rate up. You can sing.
• 23:28
  You can hum. You can chant.
• 23:29
  Yes, you can. There's so much you can.
• 23:31
  Do when I did my yoga teacher training, when I left
• 23:34
  advertising and I was like, what am I going to do?
• 23:36
  I'm going to do my MBA and then I did my yoga teacher training.
• 23:39
  Never actually worked in the studio.
• 23:41
  Like, you know, that'll story. And it was.
• 23:42
  Amazing. And I remember hearing, um, it
• 23:46
  was really cool. They were just talking about the
• 23:48
  different, different people. Like you have to meet someone
• 23:50
  with where they're at. And you might have people who
• 23:52
  come into your studio and you're encouraging them to go in
• 23:54
  Shavasana and you're saying close your eyes, but they really
• 23:57
  were talking about like close your eyes if you're comfortable.
• 24:00
  And for, if you have a group of people, say postpartum moms who
• 24:04
  maybe are suffering with anxiety, depression, that is not
• 24:07
  a room of people that you want to have sitting quietly with
• 24:10
  their thoughts. Potentially maybe for some it
• 24:11
  works. But but now that you're saying
• 24:13
  that, I'm like, Oh my gosh, this is all clicking.
• 24:15
  It makes so much sense that movement and humming or singing,
• 24:19
  dancing, like being in community connection, mothers groups are
• 24:22
  so important in that situation versus being alone with your
• 24:26
  dark, you know, I've been there, you know, being alone with dark
• 24:29
  thoughts. Yeah, the fear and and it
• 24:31
  doesn't work. And you're like, well, great.
• 24:33
  I can't think my way out of this.
• 24:34
  What the hell am I supposed to do now?
• 24:36
  Move your way out. Of it, yeah, move up that
• 24:38
  spiral. Yeah, that's so.
• 24:40
  That's so incredible. The Vegas.
• 24:42
  OK what's the dryer falls? Can you drink cold water?
• 24:45
  And it stimulates the vagus nerve.
• 24:47
  What's that thing I maybe saw in?
• 24:48
  Tiki did so much research on this when I was writing my book
• 24:54
  on, on how cold water affects the Vegas nerve.
• 24:57
  So yes, it does. And it.
• 25:00
  And you said swallowing water. Yeah.
• 25:02
  Like gargling water or immersing in water or splashing your face
• 25:05
  with water. And from my understanding, it's
• 25:08
  kind of like how exercise is sometimes called a stress
• 25:13
  inoculation, you know, or like a like a vaccine, you get a little
• 25:17
  bit of something and then your body learns to fight it.
• 25:19
  And so exercising is a stress, but it's controlled.
• 25:23
  I'm choosing to move my body and then I can choose to recover.
• 25:27
  And I think that's similar with cold immersion, that it's
• 25:31
  learning to regulate your nervous system in a stressful
• 25:36
  situation that you are controlling.
• 25:38
  You are controlling putting your body in.
• 25:39
  And while you're in, it's like, and then you have to learn, OK,
• 25:42
  I'm going to breathe deeply. And then you remove yourself
• 25:45
  from it and you're like, OK, I'm safe.
• 25:47
  And then that's you kind of training your nervous system to
• 25:50
  deal with stress, to move, move in and out of sympathetic and
• 25:53
  parasympathetic, accelerating and then breaking, choosing to
• 25:56
  break. We need to all choose to break.
• 25:58
  And I call that the pause. So you're in driving school,
• 26:01
  you're testing out the emergency brake.
• 26:03
  You're doing that thing in the parking lot where they're like,
• 26:05
  hit the break and you're like, is the car gonna flip?
• 26:07
  And you slam your test? You're playing with it in a
• 26:10
  controlled setting. Yeah, exactly.
• 26:12
  How do you grade it? About you.
• 26:13
  OK, now that we're on this topic, so buzzy cold plunging
• 26:17
  for women. What are you like?
• 26:18
  What are your feelings? I love this.
• 26:20
  Question. So here's what I think.
• 26:23
  I think it doesn't matter what any expert says.
• 26:26
  We are the best experts for ourselves, and only we know what
• 26:30
  works for us. Yeah.
• 26:32
  So is cold plunging for you? Do you feel great after it?
• 26:37
  It's for you. Do you feel like shit after?
• 26:40
  It is not for you. I was just speaking to a woman
• 26:42
  yesterday who said, you know, like, I was trying to be cool
• 26:44
  and I did the cold plunge. And she was like, I felt
• 26:47
  terrible the entire day afterwards.
• 26:48
  And everybody else was like, don't you feel amazing?
• 26:50
  She was like, no, it's not for her.
• 26:53
  So part of it is looking at your stress load.
• 26:57
  If you have a really high stress load, these pillars I talk
• 27:00
  about, you know, you have high nutritional stress because
• 27:03
  you're eating terribly. You have high electromagnetic
• 27:06
  stress because you're just around screens and unnatural
• 27:08
  light all the time. You have high relational stretch
• 27:10
  stress. Your relationships are causing
• 27:12
  stress for you. You have spiritual stress.
• 27:14
  You're maybe in the wrong job or you're not in alignment inside
• 27:18
  with what is on the outside. If you have really high stress
• 27:22
  that you, you don't need to add additional stress, which is cold
• 27:25
  plunging, which is high intense exercise, which is all these
• 27:29
  buzzy things. If your stress load is too high,
• 27:32
  you don't have the capacity to add additional stress.
• 27:34
  And so I've noticed from I love cold plunging, but I notice for
• 27:38
  myself during times of high stress, I can't do it.
• 27:41
  It doesn't feel good. And so listen to your own body,
• 27:47
  tune into your intuition. This is what mindfulness is.
• 27:49
  It's building like a Direct Line to your intuition so that you
• 27:53
  know for yourself, is this good for me or not?
• 27:56
  Just ask yourself that question, close your eyes, be still.
• 27:58
  Do I like this? It's OK not to like what's cool.
• 28:02
  I think this is the most important thing that's ever been
• 28:04
  said on my podcast. I I think that if this, OK, call
• 28:09
  me dramatic, if this was sent to everybody in the world and they
• 28:14
  just had a second to be like, huh, yeah, right.
• 28:17
  If I just do, if I like tap in and ask myself, does this feel
• 28:21
  good? Does this work for me?
• 28:22
  Does this work for my family? Is this like serving me?
• 28:25
  Yeah. Could we not change the world?
• 28:27
  Absolutely. Like I really, but like I know
• 28:29
  it's just like big and far fetched, but I believe like this
• 28:32
  could change the world. This knowledge of honoring
• 28:36
  ourselves, loving ourselves, being in tune with what our
• 28:38
  intuition is telling us. Like the world would be a
• 28:41
  totally different place and nobody would.
• 28:44
  Everybody would just be high fiving and frolicking and like
• 28:48
  orgasming. Orgasming honestly.
• 28:52
  Like it's literally the solution to World Peace.
• 28:55
  And why, like we're in such a like talking about information
• 28:58
  gathering and like this knowledge is information age.
• 29:00
  It's so cool. I mean, I'm sure as
• 29:02
  neuroscientists, you're like, you just geek out on all the
• 29:04
  incredible studies and the things that are happening
• 29:05
  because of that. However, I find that I've, you
• 29:07
  know, really been hearing this, this narrative too around like,
• 29:10
  are we gathering too much information?
• 29:12
  Are we not thinking for ourselves anymore?
• 29:14
  We're not thinking critically about where we're at, how we're
• 29:18
  feeling. We're not we're disconnecting
• 29:20
  from the intuition. We're raising kids and we're
• 29:22
  like, I can't make this decision.
• 29:23
  I need to go now to chat LGBT, which is great, you know, for
• 29:27
  the fevers and what what was the fever danger point again?
• 29:30
  Yeah, there's a place. But it's like also, I've had my
• 29:34
  kids have had fevers that are really high and I'm like, but
• 29:37
  they're OK. You're actually you're fine.
• 29:40
  And I've had those moments where I'm like, no, I'm going to step
• 29:42
  into my own intuition and power in this moment.
• 29:43
  And I'm like, I know you're OK. And that's not me being like, I
• 29:48
  will call the ambulance that I need to.
• 29:49
  I am no problem. I've called ambulances before
• 29:51
  and it's like, but you know, you just, if you man, if you just
• 29:55
  like, if we just tap into our knowing a little bit more.
• 29:58
  And I work with all of my work is career coaching for parents.
• 30:01
  And yeah, you know, the people who are like, but it does this
• 30:03
  make sense? If I make a move, who cares?
• 30:05
  You don't. You're miserable.
• 30:07
  This is affecting every part of your life.
• 30:09
  It doesn't matter what anyone thinks.
• 30:11
  This is like, you hate this. Yeah, we gotta make a move and
• 30:15
  some way. Yes, joy is a metric.
• 30:18
  I think joy is the metric. Maybe love, but joy is part of
• 30:23
  love. Oh my.
• 30:23
  Gosh and OK, so Speaking of this and how this is just so life
• 30:27
  changing and can change the world, why?
• 30:30
  Why now? Why are you writing this now?
• 30:33
  Why is it important now? It had been a dream for a really
• 30:36
  long time, probably like at least 10 years.
• 30:41
  And I kept saying I want to do it, I want to do it, I want to
• 30:45
  do it. And I didn't do it.
• 30:46
  And how often, you know, listeners, do we not take the
• 30:51
  steps to to reach our big, hairy audacious goals?
• 30:56
  You know, why aren't we doing that?
• 30:57
  And so a dear, dear friend of mine started a publishing
• 31:02
  company and I saw that she was doing a retreat for would be
• 31:05
  writers in LA and it was very expensive and very all in.
• 31:11
  And I knew if I didn't do that, I never would.
• 31:15
  And so it was, it was actually called the Big leap.
• 31:18
  And so I took the big leap and I forked over a whole lot of cash
• 31:24
  and me and two other would be writers sat in a beautiful space
• 31:29
  with three editors for a week. And we each got a wall and a
• 31:34
  million post it notes. And we wrote everything we knew
• 31:36
  that we thought could be valuable.
• 31:37
  And we put it on the wall and we just spent the week rearranging
• 31:40
  the post it notes until we had a book outline.
• 31:42
  And I left that experience with the document you need to find a
• 31:48
  publisher. And so I I'm so glad I did that.
• 31:52
  It was, it was worth every penny, every minute, because
• 31:55
  otherwise I would still be saying I want to write a.
• 31:58
  Book and isn't there so much, what's the word like discomfort
• 32:01
  or this dissonance that's created when you've got that
• 32:04
  thing that you want, that thing that's like your goal or where
• 32:07
  you want to be or what you want to do versus where you are.
• 32:09
  Talk about this all the time. Like that cultural tension of
• 32:11
  like, I'm here, I want to be here.
• 32:13
  And this rubber band feels real. It's starting to like Fray.
• 32:17
  Yeah. Where you almost at that point
• 32:18
  or did you kind of get ahead of it a little bit and you're like,
• 32:21
  OK, I don't want to get to that point.
• 32:22
  I've been at that point with. Other.
• 32:24
  Yeah, I don't know. That's a great question.
• 32:27
  I, I don't know, I just wanted it bad.
• 32:30
  I really wanted to to birth this book.
• 32:34
  I really wanted this knowledge to be out in the world.
• 32:37
  You know, it, it came after this decision, like after the
• 32:41
  pandemic, where all of these really hard things were
• 32:43
  happening in the world where so many people were hating each
• 32:47
  other. And I just felt like like love
• 32:49
  was the answer. And I was just like, I have to
• 32:52
  get this out now to help suffering.
• 32:55
  So. I love it, but you know, I also
• 32:57
  love to. Is that this Speaking of this
• 32:59
  book is about love and self love.
• 33:02
  And you come at it kind of from both sides where you're not
• 33:05
  like, let's just only talk about love.
• 33:07
  And you're you're talking about the neuroscience and then you're
• 33:09
  talking about super practical, very tangible, like this is a
• 33:13
  curriculum. Yeah.
• 33:14
  But it's done in a way. It's like, let me tell you a
• 33:16
  story about me. Let me tell you about a story
• 33:17
  about a client. And here are some examples of
• 33:19
  what this looks like in real life versus staying a little too
• 33:24
  up here, like a satiric, which is there's a place for that.
• 33:27
  Yeah. But I feel like as a mom of
• 33:30
  these two young kids, this is kind of what I needed now to
• 33:33
  just digest. And you have reflection
• 33:34
  questions and it's like, great. I, you know, a couple of the
• 33:37
  chapters, I didn't write it down, but I just sat there and
• 33:39
  thought about the answer is amazing.
• 33:41
  You know, felt. And I was like, oh, cool.
• 33:43
  And it's just, yeah, it's. It's incredible.
• 33:45
  So Speaking of the curriculum, OK, the flexible framework.
• 33:50
  And then I want to get into the rituals.
• 33:52
  I want listeners to just take away the stuff, but then they're
• 33:55
  going to obviously have to go buy the book and read it or get
• 33:58
  it from the library. The flexible framework saw that
• 34:02
  as I think it was in the beginning.
• 34:03
  You're like, here's the structure.
• 34:04
  Or maybe I was looking at the index or whatever, the chapter
• 34:07
  names and I was like, Oh my God, I love this.
• 34:08
  Already speaking my language, girl.
• 34:11
  So the flexible framework, what is that?
• 34:13
  And did you come up with that before becoming a parent or
• 34:15
  after? Oh my goodness, I don't know.
• 34:20
  I have to go back and look. Because it feels very like mom.
• 34:24
  Who knows? I think it wasn't before, I
• 34:26
  don't know, definitely after it, we'll just go with that.
• 34:29
  But yeah, you know what, it might have been before because,
• 34:33
  yeah, I think it, it was because I noticed this black and white
• 34:37
  thinking and it was kind of like the, the gap between knowing and
• 34:40
  doing. You know, I, I would have
• 34:42
  clients who would say I want to train for a marathon and they
• 34:45
  would, you know, be training hours a day.
• 34:48
  And their goal would be like, you know, hours a day, seven
• 34:50
  days a week. And then they would be like, I
• 34:52
  only did four days a week. I'm like, that's amazing.
• 34:55
  And so then they would quit or they would feel terrible about
• 34:58
  themselves. And I'm like, that's, but not
• 35:00
  like it's, it's a spectrum. Yes, every second of self-care
• 35:03
  camps, every second. It doesn't have to be.
• 35:05
  And so I think especially now as a parent to, you know, you read
• 35:09
  the research and it says it has to be 20 minutes of meditation
• 35:13
  or it has to be 30 minutes of physical activity.
• 35:15
  And it's like, well, what if it's 19?
• 35:17
  Does that not count if it's 17? They didn't research that, Yeah,
• 35:21
  that's why, yeah. And so I think we do a
• 35:25
  disservice to people when we give hard lines like that when
• 35:28
  it is black and white. And I think that if we embrace
• 35:31
  the Gray and lower our standards to the smallest iteration of
• 35:37
  what would serve us and shift us into a place of loving ourselves
• 35:41
  and others, we would be able to be consistent because nobody
• 35:46
  cannot do a minute of something every day for themselves.
• 35:50
  No one. And when you lower your your
• 35:53
  standards, you know, I know that everyone listening is is a high
• 35:58
  achiever and that's lowering their standards would still be
• 36:02
  most excellent. So I'm not saying, you know,
• 36:05
  show up in the world every way, but like just give yourself some
• 36:09
  grace and allow yourself the flexibility to just do a little
• 36:15
  bit And like, it makes such a difference.
• 36:18
  I have been when I worked in a gym full time, I, I didn't, I
• 36:21
  would go sometimes months without exercising, which is
• 36:24
  like just insane. Just like it's crazy for me to
• 36:27
  say that. And like that was true.
• 36:29
  That's that's true. And now I'm consistent every
• 36:32
  single day, every single day because I can't not be
• 36:36
  successful because my standards are so low.
• 36:39
  And something you said earlier made me think about this concept
• 36:42
  of self trust. Now I trust myself to care for
• 36:45
  myself. And that really matters.
• 36:47
  The belief we have in ourselves that we will care for ourselves,
• 36:51
  You know that we can give ourselves up.
• 36:54
  We can reparent ourselves if we didn't receive the kind of love
• 36:57
  and care we had as children and now as adults.
• 37:01
  To know we always have someone to love and care and cheerlead
• 37:04
  for us. And that is ourselves.
• 37:05
  And if we can really show up for ourselves, then we can do
• 37:09
  anything. We can get through anything hard
• 37:11
  because we always have ourselves, you know, community
• 37:13
  is really important too. But like the first person that
• 37:15
  you need to show up for is yourself.
• 37:16
  And to model this to our children, not to say it to model
• 37:21
  it like what I'm learning this, you know, I'm, I just turned 46
• 37:25
  a couple days ago. Like for my daughter to I can I
• 37:28
  hear her talking? I'm like, oh, it's thinking in
• 37:30
  she's 7, you know, to learn that as a child.
• 37:34
  Wow, wow. And what would you how do we do
• 37:38
  it? Like what are some small
• 37:39
  examples of parenting with this? Like, Oh my gosh, all of it, the
• 37:44
  mindfulness and the connection and love for yourself and, and
• 37:48
  saying nice things to yourself as well as others.
• 37:51
  You know, we talked about like, oh, say please say thank you.
• 37:53
  But like, I haven't said anything to my kids about, you
• 37:55
  know, my daughter is like, gets frustrated.
• 37:57
  She's doing some sort of sport or whatever.
• 37:59
  Like, oh, I can't. And I'm like, it's OK.
• 38:01
  You know, I kind of brush it off instead of being like, hey,
• 38:03
  talk, you know, I don't know what to say.
• 38:04
  So yeah. How do we model this?
• 38:06
  How do we? Do we just speak kindly to
• 38:08
  ourselves? You.
• 38:09
  Know, like, like I, yeah, see, this is this is what I say in
• 38:14
  the book. And like, I think it's the first
• 38:16
  page. This is boring.
• 38:17
  I'm not going to tell you anything.
• 38:19
  You don't know. I loved that.
• 38:20
  Like, yeah, you know this. I'm gonna help you do it.
• 38:23
  Yes. That's what's going to change
• 38:25
  your life. And so, you know, I'll say to my
• 38:27
  my daughter the other day, she did something really hard and
• 38:30
  she said, I'm really proud of myself.
• 38:32
  Oh, and I've said that about myself.
• 38:38
  And I was like, oh, my gosh. She used those words to apply to
• 38:42
  something she didn't. She felt proud.
• 38:43
  But she saw me say that about myself.
• 38:46
  Or, you know, if something happens, I'll be like, well,
• 38:50
  that's OK. And I can try harder.
• 38:51
  And, oh, it's, it's the experience.
• 38:53
  And I and I talk about savoring, actually, sometimes if we're
• 38:57
  late for school, like we have a big family breakfast every day.
• 38:59
  And, you know, if I'm like, hey, you know, gotta hurry up.
• 39:02
  She was like, I'm savoring my breakfast.
• 39:04
  I'm like, well, I can't argue with that.
• 39:05
  Yeah. Whatever, knock the late, I
• 39:07
  don't care. Yeah, we're safer.
• 39:09
  Yeah, totally. And so it's using and it's how
• 39:13
  you talk about it. Yeah.
• 39:14
  You know, that that, oh, I'm putting this good food in my
• 39:17
  body. Like she had a friend come over
• 39:18
  and they didn't eat their broccoli.
• 39:19
  And after her friend left, she's like, what's with that girl?
• 39:21
  She didn't eat her broccoli. Broccoli is so good for you.
• 39:24
  And like, you know what it's like, how can we, how can we
• 39:28
  love ours? Like, this is the thing, you
• 39:31
  know, if you're having, if you're listening to this and
• 39:34
  you're having trouble taking care of yourself and you need
• 39:37
  extra motivation, like think about who's watching you.
• 39:41
  And it's not what you say, it's what you do. 1000% it is so
• 39:45
  scary. The two in the four year old.
• 39:47
  I'm like, the modeling that you see at that age already is
• 39:52
  unbelievable. It's the coolest experience in
• 39:54
  my life to see. Yeah, that the effect that you
• 39:57
  have on others in such a direct, I mean, everybody.
• 39:59
  But like those little humans that are just looking up and
• 40:02
  they're just watching every. Oh, my gosh, they're little
• 40:05
  parrots, too. Sometimes you're like, whoops.
• 40:06
  Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
• 40:09
  And so. Yeah, I love that.
• 40:11
  Like, I really love that. I think we talked about it a lot
• 40:13
  in terms of being mindful with food.
• 40:16
  And like, I have three sisters and my mom did an incredible job
• 40:19
  about having us all feel safe and experienced food in a
• 40:22
  beautiful way. And I think a lot of us are
• 40:25
  really like, OK, you gotta be careful not to have like diet
• 40:27
  talk around our kids. And that I don't hear anybody
• 40:30
  talk about what we what you were just talking about how, you
• 40:33
  know, we want to talk about ourselves in a kind way.
• 40:36
  We want to just like verbalize or just narrate some of our
• 40:39
  experiences. Like, oh, that was a hard day.
• 40:42
  And just sharing that, like things can be hard.
• 40:44
  But and you know what, I learned a lot from that.
• 40:45
  Or when you're sitting at the dinner table, like, how's your
• 40:47
  day? And you're kind of having a
• 40:48
  sidebar with your husband, a partner, and instead of just,
• 40:52
  you know, talking to trash like, oh, I did this, I messed up.
• 40:55
  OK, that's fine. But how do you come back around
• 40:57
  and like, what was the. Yeah, take away or even, I mean,
• 41:01
  we, we live with a lot of like silliness in our house too.
• 41:04
  Silliness is it? It's it's I'm just like, Oh my
• 41:06
  God, I spilled my I'm always talking about spilling coffee,
• 41:08
  spilled coffee all over my house.
• 41:09
  My husband doesn't drink coffee. He's like this with you.
• 41:11
  And it's just like, and we laugh about it and I'm like, oh, wow.
• 41:14
  Like, and I looked like my daughter adding him like that.
• 41:17
  Better luck next time. She's like, yeah, you can try
• 41:19
  harder or like you can like do better next time.
• 41:22
  It's just, yeah, I just love this.
• 41:25
  OK, Now the rituals. Yeah.
• 41:29
  So there's the flexible framework, every parents dream,
• 41:32
  flexibility, freedom. And then there's the rituals.
• 41:36
  Move your body, nourish your body, rest your body and connect
• 41:41
  with other bodies level. Yeah, I love that.
• 41:45
  How do we incorporate? Is this a big long To Do List
• 41:49
  that we're adding? It's super short, as you may
• 41:52
  have hoped from the conversation that had time yes and I like to
• 41:56
  wear the I like to use the word movement instead of exercise.
• 42:00
  Everybody can move their body and everyone could find a way
• 42:02
  that feels good to know their body.
• 42:04
  I like to use the word nourish because it makes you focus on
• 42:08
  what can I put in that's good. Don't use the word diet.
• 42:12
  I like rest because it's not just sleep.
• 42:15
  It's throughout the day. Are you just running yourself
• 42:17
  ragged? Are you showing up at everything
• 42:19
  just like wiped or are you putting in micro moments of
• 42:23
  pause and refill? Are you stopping at the gas
• 42:25
  station to fill yourself up? And then connecting with other
• 42:29
  bodies is kind of twofold. It's connecting with other
• 42:32
  humans, but it's also connecting with land and the environment
• 42:35
  and bodies of water and you know, the the elements of Earth.
• 42:40
  We are animals. We are a part of this earth and
• 42:44
  and there's so much stress reduction and joy that comes
• 42:48
  from spending time in nature and the and we become so
• 42:52
  disconnected from that. You know, I used to live in in
• 42:55
  downtown Toronto and you can actually go from your home down
• 42:58
  and, you know, your condo down underground and you can like not
• 43:03
  see sunlight for days and days and days in the winter, which is
• 43:06
  bananas. Yes, yes, bananas.
• 43:09
  So, yeah, those are those are the rituals.
• 43:13
  And I love that word because the ritual is a habit that you've
• 43:16
  elevated to importance, like OHK.
• 43:21
  So it's not like, huh, you know, I'm gonna try and move my body.
• 43:24
  It's like, no, this is a ritual. This is this is elevated.
• 43:28
  This is important. You have to move your body, but
• 43:30
  you can do it any way that feels good to your body.
• 43:34
  And do you see those all it's kind of a menu like I, I just
• 43:36
  really get from your book. I get from you everything that
• 43:39
  you're about. It just feels like it's like
• 43:41
  what's on the menu today and not having the same friggin salad
• 43:44
  every single day, especially as women.
• 43:46
  We're cyclical humans. Yes, we have different needs and
• 43:49
  and everybody the seasons change and it just feels like there can
• 43:53
  be a menu. I loved what you said about
• 43:54
  like, yeah, you don't have to go for the cold plunge.
• 43:56
  It doesn't feel right for you. Pick from another menu of
• 43:58
  self-care. Thing, yeah.
• 43:59
  When you're ovulating, cold plunge away.
• 44:01
  When you're premenstrual, don't do it unless you feel like it,
• 44:04
  then do it. Yeah, Oh my gosh.
• 44:06
  I actually sidebar went into a cold plunge things a couple
• 44:08
  weeks ago and it was in a time where it wasn't, it wasn't like
• 44:11
  I was feeling negative stress. There was just a lot happening,
• 44:13
  a lot of excitement. I'm a very excitable person.
• 44:15
  I get into this cold punch and immediately it was like someone
• 44:18
  was squeezing my neck tendons and I was like, it does not feel
• 44:23
  good. And so like popped out and I was
• 44:24
  like, interesting, you know? Yeah.
• 44:26
  Not, not for me on the menu today.
• 44:28
  No. So how do you how do you choose
• 44:31
  what's, I guess you're saying tuition?
• 44:33
  I am going to say you're. Going to say it tell me more
• 44:35
  though. So I like to have a scheduled
• 44:39
  yet flexible plan. And so for instance, my movement
• 44:42
  plan is that I strength train Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
• 44:45
  And I do I'm a triathlete. So I do like swim, bike, run
• 44:48
  Tuesday, Thursday weekend. And then we always do a hike.
• 44:51
  We usually both days of the weekend and then I work in
• 44:54
  mobility and yoga in between there.
• 44:56
  But so say I have a day that I'm planning to do high intensity
• 45:01
  interval training and I'm tired, I'll switch to yoga.
• 45:05
  So it's scheduled yet flexible. And I also have a plan ABC and
• 45:09
  D. So plan A is that I work out
• 45:11
  every morning at 5:30 AM because that's when I wake up naturally
• 45:14
  and never set an alarm because sleep Trump's everything.
• 45:18
  And then I have an hour to myself before my family wakes
• 45:21
  up, which is lovely. But if I miss that, then I'll
• 45:24
  workout before lunch. And if I miss that, I'll workout
• 45:26
  before dinner. And if I miss that, I'll do some
• 45:28
  gentle movement before bed. So I always have a plan ABC and
• 45:31
  D, and that can expand or contract.
• 45:34
  So plan ABC or D can be 5 minutes or 55 minutes or
• 45:39
  whatever amount of time. So anytime of the day for any
• 45:41
  length of time, that's when I will move my body.
• 45:45
  And if you get to D, how do you rewire the conversation in your
• 45:49
  head that might skew? Ooh ooh.
• 45:53
  You're on Plan B, you're on plan D here like and not have that
• 45:57
  negative self talk. Oh, we're so cracked.
• 46:00
  I'm so practicing. It's just practice.
• 46:02
  It's literally rewiring your brain.
• 46:03
  So if I get to Plan D, I'm like, wow, I'm on Plan D.
• 46:05
  That must have been a really hard day.
• 46:07
  Good girl, you did it. Like, yes, we squeezed it in
• 46:12
  there. You did 1 cat cow.
• 46:14
  Yeah, yeah, you go girl. Exactly.
• 46:15
  Yeah. 1 cat cow. Yes.
• 46:17
  Literally counts. Cause then I feel like, OK, I
• 46:20
  cared for myself on the best way I could today.
• 46:22
  Yeah, today was a gong show, but I did it, and tomorrow's going
• 46:26
  to be a new day. Oh, I love that.
• 46:30
  OK, for busy parents, Nourishment.
• 46:31
  What are the best ways that we can nourish?
• 46:34
  I love that word so much. Like eating.
• 46:38
  I love to eat but nourish. So sexy it's like.
• 46:42
  Yeah. How?
• 46:44
  How do we do it? Yeah, planning.
• 46:47
  Oh yeah, menu planning, menu planning, menu planning, menu
• 46:50
  planning. Every Sunday I make a menu plan
• 46:53
  and it can be very rough. There can be like there will be
• 46:55
  vegetables, there will be protein.
• 46:58
  And I, I love to, we're so lucky where we live here in the Lower
• 47:03
  Mainland. I love to get the little PDF
• 47:07
  that the local farmers market has of what's in season and, and
• 47:11
  not like biodiversity counts in your gut and on your plate.
• 47:14
  And so I just try and order as many colourful different things
• 47:18
  as I can and do a lot of like chop salad and stir fries, that
• 47:22
  kind of thing. And then add a protein to it.
• 47:24
  You know, whether you eat plant based or animal based, cover
• 47:28
  your bases there. And I cook everything in
• 47:31
  quadruplicate. Everything.
• 47:33
  What we have for dinner is what we're having for lunch the next
• 47:35
  day. What dinner the that night and
• 47:37
  lunch the following day. I like it takes time to chop
• 47:40
  things and cook and clean and do it all.
• 47:42
  I make everything in quadruplicate.
• 47:45
  Yeah. So.
• 47:46
  Four. I thought you were talking just
• 47:47
  like for four people. No, you're talking 4 meals.
• 47:50
  Yeah, it's going to be good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 47:53
  Everything is good because I use good ingredients.
• 47:56
  It's it's not fancy food. And I started a hashtag on I
• 47:59
  don't know how much I love it, but on Instagram called Fugly
• 48:02
  Food because I don't do presentation.
• 48:04
  My food is delicious, nutritious.
• 48:07
  I don't have time to like make it look pretty.
• 48:09
  I just slap it on the plates and there.
• 48:11
  We go, that's a different moment.
• 48:13
  That's like a fun creative moment.
• 48:15
  That's not like an everyday. That's not my creative outlet.
• 48:17
  Yes, Yeah. I've used up all my energy
• 48:20
  making the food. I will not make it look pretty.
• 48:21
  But so that's just me. If you, if that gives you joy to
• 48:24
  make it look pretty, you go. Go four.
• 48:27
  Yeah, go take that photo. But I think it's yeah, just just
• 48:32
  eating in. Season it as much as you can,
• 48:35
  real food planning it out. Order.
• 48:38
  So I order groceries on Sunday from my menu that I've made.
• 48:42
  It shows up on Monday and then I take a little bit of time to
• 48:45
  wash and prep everything so it's ready for the week.
• 48:47
  And then I've got the menu on the wall.
• 48:49
  And then I know at the end of the day when I'm tired, if I
• 48:52
  haven't done this, I will order pizza 100% of the time because
• 48:57
  that's just the way offering. And so I know I have to plan
• 48:59
  because I'm just too tired to think of it.
• 49:02
  It's like the mental load is real, real, real, real, real.
• 49:05
  So I get that out of the way on on Sundays.
• 49:09
  And then I just know what I'm going to make.
• 49:11
  And then we eat it four times in a row and repeat, repeat,
• 49:13
  repeat. What's your favorite go to?
• 49:16
  Oh my goodness, right now I'm I'm mostly grew up in Alberta.
• 49:21
  I love a steak dinner. Oh yeah, yes, I'm so happy you
• 49:24
  said that. Ohhhhh.
• 49:26
  Yeah, you know, a good, a good steak from a cow that had a good
• 49:30
  life at a good farm. Yeah, that's that's my jam.
• 49:33
  Yes, yeah, so good. It's.
• 49:34
  Just tons of vegetables. Big, big, massive rainbow.
• 49:37
  Vegetables. That is such a good hack about
• 49:39
  the PDF from the farmers market. Yeah, I know exactly the one
• 49:42
  you're talking. About.
• 49:43
  OK, good. And I'm like, oh.
• 49:44
  And anyone could Google that, no matter where you're listening
• 49:46
  from. Yes, Yeah.
• 49:48
  That is so cool, I love it. What do you hope people take
• 49:51
  away from Feel Better Now? I hope in addition to everything
• 49:55
  we talked about today, well, I think just to simplify it, if
• 49:59
  that's like, wow, that's a lot. Just to simplify, simplify,
• 50:01
  simplify. I hope that people understand
• 50:04
  the power they have to just stop whatever they're doing and ask,
• 50:09
  what do I need right now? What do I need right now to feel
• 50:12
  better? You will have the answers.
• 50:14
  We all have incredible wisdom and intuition inside and it's
• 50:18
  just taking the time to listen and then follow that good advice
• 50:22
  that you just gave yourself. You will always get the right
• 50:25
  answers and you ask good questions and what do we need
• 50:27
  right now? Is a good question, that is.
• 50:29
  Such a good question, so many good questions, so much good,
• 50:32
  amazing wisdom. I ask everybody, I've still have
• 50:35
  a million more questions. I'm upset, but I'm going to.
• 50:37
  We're going to have to have you back on it.
• 50:39
  I would love that. What are you still trying to
• 50:41
  figure out right now, Catherine? Oh, everything.
• 50:44
  I think. I just, I hope I made that
• 50:45
  clear. I'm just a messy human trying to
• 50:47
  figure things out, like parenting's hard, life's hard,
• 50:51
  relationships are hard. My husband and I have been
• 50:53
  together 27 years and we're still here.
• 50:55
  I'm just uncovering more about him every day.
• 50:58
  It's all, yeah, I'm trying to figure everything out, but I'm
• 51:02
  intentional in that goal every day to try and figure things
• 51:08
  out. And just enjoy the process.
• 51:10
  And enjoy the enjoy the process. Life is so precious.
• 51:13
  And I hope I get to live to 102 and get busted making out with
• 51:16
  my husband. But if I don't, you know, I want
• 51:18
  to at any moment. Whenever I do go, I want to say
• 51:21
  like, that was a good life. Yeah, yeah.
• 51:23
  I love that. Thank you so much.
• 51:24
  Thank you for writing this book. Thank you so much for coming and
• 51:27
  sticking with me and sharing your story and your God, your
• 51:31
  wisdom. It's you're like this.
• 51:34
  I don't know you're. Effervescent.
• 51:36
  Thank you. I love this conversation.
• 51:37
  I feel like we could have had like a 24 hour conversation.
• 51:40
  I was like this. Let's chat more.
• 51:42
  Yeah, please, please. Please thank.
• 51:43
  You. Thank you.