Latest / ADHD & Neurodiversity: The Spicy Brain Podcast / Ep. 112 – Creating a Supportive Environment for Neurodiverse Families

Transcript

Ep. 112 – Creating a Supportive Environment for Neurodiverse Families · ADHD & Neurodiversity: The Spicy Brain Podcast

• 0:07
  Hello,
• 0:08
  Megan.
• 0:08
  Hello,
• 0:09
  Michelle.
• 0:10
  Welcome
• 0:10
  to
• 0:11
  the
• 0:11
  Spicy
• 0:11
  Brain
• 0:12
  podcast
• 0:14
  where
• 0:15
  we
• 0:15
  are
• 0:15
  navigating
• 0:16
  neurodiversity
• 0:17
  with
• 0:17
  curiosity,
• 0:18
  joy,
• 0:18
  and
• 0:19
  radical
• 0:20
  acceptance.
• 0:23
  Hi,
• 0:23
  Kick.
• 0:25
  So
• 0:26
  welcome
• 0:26
  to
• 0:26
  everyone
• 0:27
  who
• 0:27
  is
• 0:27
  new
• 0:28
  joining
• 0:28
  us.
• 0:28
  We're
• 0:29
  so
• 0:29
  happy
• 0:30
  to
• 0:30
  have
• 0:30
  you.
• 0:30
  Welcome,
• 0:31
  welcome,
• 0:31
  welcome.
• 0:32
  For
• 0:32
  those
• 0:32
  of
• 0:32
  you
• 0:32
  who
• 0:32
  are
• 0:32
  returning,
• 0:33
  you
• 0:34
  know
• 0:34
  who
• 0:34
  you
• 0:34
  are.
• 0:35
  We
• 0:35
  absolutely
• 0:36
  love
• 0:37
  our
• 0:37
  whole
• 0:37
  community.
• 0:38
  I
• 0:38
  got
• 0:39
  to
• 0:39
  meet
• 0:39
  some
• 0:39
  of
• 0:39
  them
• 0:40
  the
• 0:40
  other
• 0:40
  day
• 0:40
  on
• 0:41
  Discord,
• 0:41
  which
• 0:42
  was
• 0:42
  super
• 0:42
  cool.
• 0:44
  So
• 0:44
  what
• 0:44
  was
• 0:44
  it?
• 0:44
  It
• 0:44
  was
• 0:45
  Malik.
• 0:46
  No,
• 0:46
  Malik.
• 0:47
  Witty.
• 0:49
  You
• 0:49
  met
• 0:50
  Alex.
• 0:51
  Chief.
• 0:51
  Chief,
• 0:52
  yeah.
• 0:52
  Chief
• 0:52
  the
• 0:53
  explorer.
• 0:54
  Chief
• 0:55
  the
• 0:55
  explorer.
• 0:55
  And
• 0:55
  then
• 0:56
  you
• 0:56
  met
• 0:56
  Matt.
• 0:56
  Matt's
• 0:57
  the
• 0:57
  one
• 0:57
  who's
• 0:57
  actually
• 0:57
  been
• 0:57
  listening
• 0:58
  to
• 0:58
  us.
• 0:58
  I
• 0:59
  think
• 0:59
  he
• 0:59
  was
• 0:59
  on.
• 0:59
  He
• 1:00
  was
• 1:00
  like,
• 1:00
  after
• 1:01
  the
• 1:01
  Discord,
• 1:01
  he
• 1:01
  went
• 1:01
  to
• 1:01
  work
• 1:02
  and
• 1:02
  he
• 1:02
  was
• 1:02
  like,
• 1:02
  okay,
• 1:03
  I'm
• 1:03
  going
• 1:03
  to
• 1:04
  work.
• 1:04
  As
• 1:04
  he
• 1:04
  works
• 1:04
  the
• 1:04
  light,
• 1:05
  the
• 1:05
  night
• 1:05
  shifts,
• 1:05
  he's
• 1:06
  like,
• 1:06
  I'll
• 1:06
  be.
• 1:06
  I'm
• 1:06
  beyond.
• 1:07
  I'm
• 1:07
  on
• 1:08
  episode
• 1:08
  80.
• 1:08
  Because
• 1:09
  he
• 1:09
  started
• 1:09
  all
• 1:09
  the
• 1:09
  way
• 1:09
  from
• 1:09
  the
• 1:10
  beginning
• 1:10
  back
• 1:10
  on
• 1:10
  our
• 1:10
  sister
• 1:11
  sisters
• 1:11
  days.
• 1:12
  Oh
• 1:12
  my
• 1:12
  gosh.
• 1:13
  So
• 1:13
  he's
• 1:13
  been
• 1:14
  here,
• 1:14
  every
• 1:14
  single
• 1:15
  one
• 1:15
  of
• 1:15
  them.
• 1:15
  I'd
• 1:15
  love
• 1:15
  to
• 1:16
  hear
• 1:16
  his.
• 1:16
  That's
• 1:17
  kind
• 1:17
  of
• 1:17
  a
• 1:17
  fun
• 1:17
  little
• 1:18
  journey.
• 1:18
  We
• 1:18
  should
• 1:18
  do
• 1:18
  that
• 1:19
  at
• 1:19
  some
• 1:19
  point.
• 1:19
  That
• 1:19
  would
• 1:19
  be
• 1:20
  really
• 1:20
  cool.
• 1:20
  So
• 1:21
  those
• 1:21
  of
• 1:21
  you
• 1:21
  who
• 1:21
  are
• 1:22
  new,
• 1:22
  usually
• 1:23
  what
• 1:23
  we
• 1:23
  do
• 1:23
  is
• 1:24
  we
• 1:24
  take
• 1:24
  a
• 1:24
  book
• 1:25
  and
• 1:25
  we
• 1:25
  focus
• 1:26
  in
• 1:26
  on
• 1:27
  our
• 1:27
  neuro
• 1:28
  spiciness.
• 1:28
  So
• 1:29
  really
• 1:29
  we've
• 1:30
  been
• 1:30
  focusing
• 1:30
  on
• 1:30
  ADHD
• 1:33
  primarily,
• 1:33
  I
• 1:34
  would
• 1:34
  say.
• 1:34
  And
• 1:35
  then
• 1:35
  now
• 1:35
  we
• 1:35
  kind
• 1:36
  of
• 1:36
  took
• 1:36
  a
• 1:36
  book,
• 1:36
  a
• 1:37
  little
• 1:37
  sojourn,
• 1:37
  to
• 1:38
  discuss
• 1:39
  parenting
• 1:40
  for
• 1:40
  complex
• 1:41
  kids,
• 1:41
  complex
• 1:42
  issues.
• 1:42
  And
• 1:43
  this
• 1:43
  one
• 1:43
  is
• 1:43
  called
• 1:44
  the
• 1:44
  Essential
• 1:44
  Guide
• 1:45
  to
• 1:45
  Raising
• 1:45
  Complex
• 1:46
  Kids.
• 1:46
  So
• 1:46
  we
• 1:47
  go
• 1:47
  through
• 1:47
  that
• 1:47
  and
• 1:47
  then
• 1:47
  we
• 1:48
  try
• 1:48
  to
• 1:48
  kind
• 1:48
  of
• 1:49
  think
• 1:49
  of
• 1:49
  our
• 1:50
  own
• 1:50
  brains.
• 1:51
  We
• 1:51
  really
• 1:51
  started
• 1:51
  with
• 1:52
  you,
• 1:52
  Meg.
• 1:53
  We
• 1:53
  started
• 1:54
  with
• 1:54
  your
• 1:54
  brain.
• 1:55
  And
• 1:55
  then
• 1:55
  I
• 1:55
  realized
• 1:55
  very
• 1:56
  quickly,
• 1:56
  like,
• 1:56
  oh,
• 1:57
  I'm
• 1:57
  super
• 1:57
  spicy.
• 1:58
  Also
• 1:58
  just
• 1:58
  a
• 1:58
  different.
• 1:59
  I'm
• 1:59
  a
• 1:59
  different
• 2:00
  level
• 2:00
  of
• 2:00
  caliente.
• 2:01
  But
• 2:01
  it's
• 2:01
  like
• 2:01
  a
• 2:01
  whole
• 2:02
  other.
• 2:02
  Whole
• 2:02
  other
• 2:02
  thing.
• 2:03
  But
• 2:04
  that's
• 2:04
  been
• 2:04
  amazing
• 2:05
  journey.
• 2:06
  So
• 2:07
  with
• 2:07
  this
• 2:07
  essential
• 2:08
  guys,
• 2:08
  a
• 2:09
  guide
• 2:09
  to
• 2:09
  raising
• 2:09
  complex
• 2:10
  kids,
• 2:10
  I
• 2:10
  did
• 2:10
  want
• 2:10
  to
• 2:11
  say
• 2:11
  it's
• 2:11
  idea
• 2:12
  that
• 2:12
  it
• 2:12
  could
• 2:12
  be
• 2:13
  metabolical.
• 2:14
  Is
• 2:15
  that
• 2:15
  a
• 2:15
  word?
• 2:15
  Metabolic?
• 2:16
  Oh,
• 2:16
  I
• 2:17
  just
• 2:17
  made
• 2:17
  a.
• 2:17
  It
• 2:17
  is
• 2:17
  now.
• 2:18
  It
• 2:18
  is.
• 2:18
  It's
• 2:21
  metabolic.
• 2:22
  I
• 2:23
  make
• 2:23
  them
• 2:23
  so
• 2:23
  many
• 2:24
  metabolic
• 2:24
  and
• 2:25
  metabolic
• 2:25
  together.
• 2:26
  I
• 2:26
  don't
• 2:26
  know
• 2:27
  metabolic
• 2:28
  or.
• 2:28
  Or
• 2:28
  it
• 2:29
  might
• 2:29
  be
• 2:29
  neurological.
• 2:30
  So
• 2:31
  that
• 2:31
  was
• 2:32
  fun.
• 2:32
  Anyway,
• 2:33
  so
• 2:33
  as
• 2:33
  we're
• 2:33
  looking
• 2:34
  through
• 2:34
  this,
• 2:35
  this
• 2:35
  whole
• 2:36
  thing,
• 2:36
  we've.
• 2:36
  We've
• 2:36
  kind
• 2:36
  of
• 2:37
  been
• 2:37
  stuck
• 2:37
  on
• 2:37
  this
• 2:37
  one
• 2:37
  chapter.
• 2:38
  So
• 2:38
  we're
• 2:38
  gonna,
• 2:39
  we're
• 2:39
  gonna
• 2:39
  finish
• 2:39
  up
• 2:40
  this,
• 2:40
  this
• 2:41
  particular
• 2:41
  chapter.
• 2:41
  It's
• 2:42
  been
• 2:42
  meaty
• 2:43
  and
• 2:43
  go
• 2:43
  through.
• 2:44
  I
• 2:44
  don't
• 2:44
  know,
• 2:44
  Michelle.
• 2:45
  There
• 2:45
  was
• 2:45
  an
• 2:45
  entire
• 2:46
  thing
• 2:46
  in
• 2:46
  our,
• 2:46
  during
• 2:46
  our
• 2:47
  pre
• 2:47
  game,
• 2:47
  there
• 2:47
  was
• 2:47
  an
• 2:48
  entire,
• 2:48
  you
• 2:49
  know,
• 2:49
  just
• 2:49
  one
• 2:49
  sentence.
• 2:50
  That
• 2:50
  could
• 2:50
  be
• 2:50
  an
• 2:50
  entire
• 2:51
  entire
• 2:51
  podcast.
• 2:52
  So
• 2:52
  who
• 2:52
  knows?
• 2:52
  Like,
• 2:52
  we're
• 2:53
  gonna
• 2:53
  try
• 2:53
  to
• 2:53
  wrap
• 2:54
  it
• 2:54
  up,
• 2:54
  but
• 2:55
  try,
• 2:55
  we'll
• 2:55
  see.
• 2:55
  You're
• 2:56
  right.
• 2:56
  I
• 2:56
  can't
• 2:56
  promise
• 2:57
  anything.
• 2:57
  As
• 2:58
  usual,
• 2:58
  you
• 2:58
  are
• 2:59
  correct,
• 2:59
  my
• 2:59
  lovely
• 3:00
  sister.
• 3:01
  So,
• 3:01
  okay,
• 3:02
  this
• 3:02
  one
• 3:02
  we're
• 3:02
  really
• 3:02
  going
• 3:02
  to
• 3:03
  be
• 3:03
  talking
• 3:03
  about
• 3:03
  the
• 3:04
  difference
• 3:04
  between
• 3:05
  responding,
• 3:07
  reacting
• 3:07
  and
• 3:07
  responding.
• 3:09
  Yeah.
• 3:09
  And
• 3:10
  so,
• 3:11
  you
• 3:11
  know,
• 3:11
  she's
• 3:12
  kind
• 3:12
  of,
• 3:12
  this
• 3:12
  whole
• 3:13
  chapter
• 3:13
  has
• 3:13
  been
• 3:13
  talking
• 3:13
  a
• 3:14
  little
• 3:14
  bit
• 3:14
  about
• 3:14
  is
• 3:15
  it
• 3:15
  naughty
• 3:15
  or
• 3:15
  is
• 3:15
  it
• 3:16
  neurological
• 3:16
  and
• 3:17
  how
• 3:17
  we
• 3:17
  respond
• 3:18
  to
• 3:18
  our
• 3:18
  kids
• 3:18
  and
• 3:19
  is
• 3:19
  there
• 3:19
  shame
• 3:19
  around
• 3:20
  it?
• 3:20
  And
• 3:21
  you
• 3:21
  know,
• 3:21
  all
• 3:21
  of
• 3:21
  this
• 3:22
  and,
• 3:22
  and
• 3:22
  this
• 3:22
  one
• 3:22
  really
• 3:22
  gets
• 3:23
  at
• 3:23
  the
• 3:23
  triggers,
• 3:24
  which
• 3:24
  as
• 3:25
  a
• 3:25
  parent,
• 3:25
  I,
• 3:26
  I,
• 3:26
  this
• 3:27
  one,
• 3:27
  this
• 3:27
  part,
• 3:27
  I
• 3:28
  really
• 3:28
  was
• 3:28
  like,
• 3:29
  yeah,
• 3:29
  there's
• 3:29
  some
• 3:30
  soul
• 3:30
  searching
• 3:31
  that
• 3:31
  I
• 3:31
  always
• 3:32
  have
• 3:32
  to
• 3:32
  do
• 3:32
  here.
• 3:33
  I
• 3:33
  think,
• 3:33
  I
• 3:34
  think
• 3:34
  as
• 3:34
  a
• 3:34
  human.
• 3:34
  Being
• 3:35
  there's
• 3:36
  a
• 3:36
  trick.
• 3:36
  Everyone
• 3:36
  has
• 3:37
  to
• 3:37
  look
• 3:37
  at
• 3:37
  their
• 3:37
  triggers
• 3:38
  because
• 3:38
  there's
• 3:38
  no
• 3:38
  way.
• 3:39
  You
• 3:39
  cannot
• 3:39
  get
• 3:40
  through
• 3:40
  life
• 3:40
  and
• 3:40
  not
• 3:41
  be
• 3:41
  triggered
• 3:41
  by
• 3:41
  certain
• 3:42
  things.
• 3:42
  Like,
• 3:42
  it's
• 3:42
  just,
• 3:42
  it's
• 3:43
  impossible.
• 3:44
  We
• 3:44
  all
• 3:44
  have
• 3:44
  them.
• 3:45
  That's
• 3:45
  true.
• 3:45
  Yeah.
• 3:47
  And
• 3:47
  I
• 3:47
  think
• 3:48
  one
• 3:48
  of
• 3:48
  the
• 3:49
  things
• 3:49
  she
• 3:49
  says
• 3:49
  in
• 3:49
  her
• 3:49
  book,
• 3:49
  which
• 3:49
  I
• 3:50
  thought
• 3:50
  was
• 3:50
  interesting,
• 3:50
  is
• 3:51
  that
• 3:51
  when
• 3:51
  people
• 3:51
  can
• 3:52
  actually
• 3:54
  recognize
• 3:55
  that
• 3:55
  they
• 3:56
  need
• 3:56
  to
• 3:56
  calm
• 3:56
  down
• 3:59
  and
• 4:00
  they
• 4:00
  need
• 4:00
  to
• 4:00
  take
• 4:01
  a
• 4:01
  minute,
• 4:02
  that
• 4:02
  that's
• 4:02
  a
• 4:03
  healthy
• 4:03
  response.
• 4:04
  That
• 4:05
  the
• 4:05
  idea
• 4:05
  that
• 4:05
  you're
• 4:06
  not
• 4:06
  gonna
• 4:06
  ever
• 4:06
  get
• 4:06
  triggered
• 4:07
  just
• 4:07
  like
• 4:07
  you
• 4:07
  were
• 4:07
  saying
• 4:07
  is
• 4:08
  gonna
• 4:08
  happen,
• 4:08
  isn't
• 4:09
  realistic.
• 4:09
  But
• 4:09
  if
• 4:09
  you
• 4:10
  could
• 4:10
  kind
• 4:10
  of
• 4:10
  go,
• 4:11
  oh,
• 4:12
  I'm
• 4:12
  being
• 4:12
  triggered
• 4:13
  right
• 4:13
  now,
• 4:13
  I
• 4:13
  probably
• 4:13
  need
• 4:13
  a
• 4:13
  minute
• 4:15
  to
• 4:15
  get
• 4:15
  some
• 4:15
  self
• 4:16
  regulation
• 4:16
  going,
• 4:17
  then
• 4:17
  that's
• 4:18
  probably
• 4:18
  the
• 4:18
  healthy
• 4:19
  response.
• 4:20
  Okay,
• 4:21
  so
• 4:21
  great,
• 4:22
  we
• 4:22
  agree
• 4:22
  on
• 4:22
  this.
• 4:25
  We
• 4:25
  agree
• 4:26
  that
• 4:26
  this,
• 4:26
  in
• 4:27
  theory,
• 4:28
  it's
• 4:29
  what
• 4:29
  we
• 4:29
  would
• 4:29
  all
• 4:29
  want.
• 4:31
  But
• 4:31
  it's
• 4:32
  like
• 4:32
  lovely,
• 4:32
  but
• 4:32
  it's
• 4:33
  so
• 4:33
  friggin
• 4:33
  hard.
• 4:34
  It's
• 4:34
  so
• 4:35
  friggin
• 4:35
  hard.
• 4:36
  It's
• 4:36
  so
• 4:37
  hard.
• 4:38
  Okay,
• 4:39
  so
• 4:39
  she
• 4:39
  says
• 4:40
  when
• 4:40
  you
• 4:40
  enter
• 4:40
  in
• 4:41
  conversation
• 4:41
  with
• 4:41
  yourself,
• 4:42
  you
• 4:42
  can
• 4:42
  start
• 4:42
  to
• 4:42
  get
• 4:42
  a
• 4:43
  handle
• 4:43
  on
• 4:43
  your
• 4:43
  own
• 4:43
  reactivity.
• 4:44
  Okay.
• 4:44
  So
• 4:44
  she
• 4:44
  wants
• 4:45
  you
• 4:45
  to
• 4:45
  coach
• 4:45
  yourself.
• 4:47
  Okay.
• 4:47
  Okay.
• 4:48
  And
• 4:48
  so
• 4:48
  she
• 4:49
  said,
• 4:49
  all
• 4:49
  right,
• 4:49
  well
• 4:50
  what
• 4:50
  are
• 4:50
  your
• 4:51
  key
• 4:51
  triggers?
• 4:52
  So
• 4:52
  you
• 4:52
  gotta
• 4:52
  identify
• 4:53
  them.
• 4:54
  So
• 4:54
  I
• 4:54
  was
• 4:54
  thinking
• 4:54
  we
• 4:54
  could
• 4:55
  try
• 4:55
  to
• 4:55
  identify
• 4:56
  our
• 4:56
  key
• 4:56
  triggers.
• 4:58
  And
• 4:58
  I
• 4:58
  was
• 4:58
  trying
• 4:58
  to
• 4:58
  think,
• 5:00
  okay,
• 5:00
  so
• 5:00
  I'm
• 5:00
  thinking
• 5:01
  myself
• 5:01
  as
• 5:01
  a
• 5:01
  parent.
• 5:04
  The
• 5:05
  morning
• 5:05
  was
• 5:06
  so
• 5:06
  hard
• 5:06
  for
• 5:07
  me
• 5:08
  with
• 5:09
  Josh
• 5:09
  and
• 5:09
  I
• 5:09
  do
• 5:10
  have
• 5:10
  permission
• 5:10
  from
• 5:10
  my
• 5:10
  son,
• 5:11
  thank
• 5:11
  you
• 5:11
  very
• 5:11
  much,
• 5:11
  Josh,
• 5:12
  to
• 5:12
  talk
• 5:12
  about
• 5:13
  him.
• 5:13
  But
• 5:13
  that
• 5:13
  was
• 5:14
  the
• 5:14
  hardest
• 5:14
  one
• 5:14
  for
• 5:15
  me
• 5:15
  was
• 5:16
  like
• 5:16
  this
• 5:16
  idea
• 5:17
  being
• 5:17
  rushed,
• 5:17
  like
• 5:17
  we
• 5:17
  were
• 5:18
  gonna
• 5:18
  be
• 5:18
  late.
• 5:18
  And
• 5:18
  I
• 5:19
  feel
• 5:19
  like
• 5:20
  every
• 5:20
  time
• 5:20
  he
• 5:21
  knew
• 5:21
  it,
• 5:22
  you
• 5:22
  know,
• 5:22
  from
• 5:22
  his
• 5:22
  like
• 5:23
  two
• 5:23
  and
• 5:23
  a
• 5:24
  half
• 5:24
  year
• 5:24
  old
• 5:24
  mind
• 5:25
  on.
• 5:26
  If
• 5:26
  you
• 5:27
  probably
• 5:27
  say
• 5:27
  I
• 5:27
  was
• 5:27
  feeling
• 5:28
  rushed.
• 5:29
  Yes,
• 5:30
  I
• 5:30
  was
• 5:31
  feeling
• 5:31
  rushed.
• 5:32
  He
• 5:33
  went
• 5:33
  slower,
• 5:35
  you
• 5:36
  know,
• 5:36
  like,
• 5:36
  he
• 5:36
  just
• 5:37
  not.
• 5:39
  He
• 5:39
  might
• 5:39
  not
• 5:39
  have
• 5:39
  looked
• 5:40
  slower.
• 5:40
  Do
• 5:41
  you
• 5:41
  know
• 5:41
  what
• 5:41
  I
• 5:41
  mean?
• 5:41
  Like,
• 5:41
  he
• 5:41
  was
• 5:42
  still
• 5:42
  running
• 5:42
  around
• 5:42
  and
• 5:42
  being
• 5:43
  his
• 5:43
  awesome,
• 5:43
  energetic
• 5:44
  self,
• 5:45
  but
• 5:45
  like,
• 5:45
  everything
• 5:46
  took
• 5:47
  longer.
• 5:49
  Yeah.
• 5:49
  Like,
• 5:50
  I
• 5:50
  don't
• 5:50
  know
• 5:50
  if
• 5:50
  it
• 5:50
  was
• 5:51
  my
• 5:51
  perception
• 5:52
  of
• 5:52
  time,
• 5:53
  but
• 5:54
  it
• 5:54
  felt
• 5:54
  like
• 5:54
  to
• 5:55
  get
• 5:55
  the
• 5:55
  shoes
• 5:56
  on,
• 5:56
  to
• 5:56
  get
• 5:57
  him
• 5:57
  into
• 5:58
  the
• 5:58
  car,
• 5:58
  like,
• 5:59
  everything.
• 5:59
  If
• 6:00
  I
• 6:00
  rushed
• 6:01
  it
• 6:03
  the
• 6:03
  minute
• 6:03
  he
• 6:03
  sense.
• 6:04
  And
• 6:04
  it's
• 6:04
  true
• 6:04
  today.
• 6:05
  Still,
• 6:07
  if.
• 6:07
  I
• 6:08
  kind
• 6:08
  of
• 6:08
  wonder
• 6:08
  if
• 6:09
  it
• 6:09
  is
• 6:09
  a
• 6:09
  little.
• 6:09
  I
• 6:10
  mean,
• 6:10
  if
• 6:10
  it's
• 6:10
  a
• 6:10
  little
• 6:10
  bit
• 6:10
  of
• 6:10
  both.
• 6:12
  Because
• 6:12
  I,
• 6:13
  I
• 6:13
  would.
• 6:13
  Because.
• 6:14
  Okay.
• 6:14
  Because
• 6:15
  like,
• 6:16
  there
• 6:16
  are
• 6:16
  times
• 6:16
  when,
• 6:17
  like,
• 6:17
  it
• 6:17
  is
• 6:18
  late
• 6:18
  at
• 6:18
  night,
• 6:18
  so
• 6:18
  we
• 6:18
  have
• 6:18
  to
• 6:19
  feed
• 6:19
  the
• 6:19
  dogs
• 6:19
  now
• 6:19
  three
• 6:20
  times
• 6:20
  a
• 6:20
  day
• 6:21
  because
• 6:21
  otherwise
• 6:21
  they
• 6:22
  like,
• 6:22
  you
• 6:22
  know,
• 6:22
  they
• 6:23
  throw
• 6:23
  up.
• 6:23
  And
• 6:24
  so
• 6:24
  we
• 6:24
  have
• 6:25
  to
• 6:25
  feed
• 6:25
  them
• 6:25
  like,
• 6:25
  right
• 6:25
  before
• 6:26
  we
• 6:26
  go
• 6:26
  to
• 6:26
  bed.
• 6:26
  And
• 6:26
  so
• 6:27
  it's
• 6:27
  like
• 6:27
  10
• 6:27
  o',
• 6:27
  clock,
• 6:27
  11
• 6:28
  o',
• 6:28
  clock,
• 6:28
  and
• 6:28
  we're
• 6:28
  like,
• 6:29
  you
• 6:29
  know,
• 6:29
  getting
• 6:29
  ready
• 6:29
  for
• 6:30
  them.
• 6:30
  And.
• 6:31
  And
• 6:31
  there
• 6:31
  are
• 6:32
  some
• 6:32
  nights
• 6:32
  like.
• 6:32
  Well,
• 6:33
  there
• 6:33
  was
• 6:33
  one
• 6:33
  night
• 6:33
  like,
• 6:33
  where
• 6:34
  we
• 6:34
  had,
• 6:34
  we
• 6:35
  had.
• 6:35
  Brian
• 6:35
  is
• 6:36
  now
• 6:36
  out
• 6:36
  of
• 6:36
  the
• 6:36
  military
• 6:36
  and
• 6:37
  so
• 6:37
  he
• 6:37
  gets
• 6:37
  to
• 6:37
  try,
• 6:37
  he
• 6:37
  gets
• 6:38
  to
• 6:38
  try
• 6:38
  weed.
• 6:39
  And
• 6:40
  so
• 6:40
  we,
• 6:40
  we
• 6:41
  definitely
• 6:41
  got
• 6:41
  a
• 6:42
  little
• 6:42
  high.
• 6:42
  Probably
• 6:42
  a
• 6:43
  little
• 6:43
  too
• 6:43
  high.
• 6:43
  Cause
• 6:43
  we,
• 6:44
  like
• 6:44
  tried
• 6:44
  a
• 6:44
  gummy
• 6:44
  and
• 6:45
  like,
• 6:45
  it
• 6:45
  wasn't,
• 6:45
  it
• 6:45
  wasn't
• 6:45
  working.
• 6:46
  Then
• 6:46
  we
• 6:46
  tried
• 6:46
  another
• 6:46
  gummy
• 6:47
  and
• 6:47
  then
• 6:47
  we,
• 6:47
  like,
• 6:47
  it
• 6:47
  wasn't
• 6:48
  working.
• 6:48
  We
• 6:48
  tried
• 6:48
  another
• 6:48
  gummy
• 6:49
  and
• 6:49
  then
• 6:49
  all
• 6:49
  of
• 6:49
  a
• 6:49
  sudden,
• 6:49
  all
• 6:50
  three
• 6:50
  gummies
• 6:50
  hit
• 6:50
  us,
• 6:50
  like,
• 6:50
  at
• 6:51
  the
• 6:51
  exact
• 6:51
  same
• 6:51
  time.
• 6:51
  And
• 6:52
  we're
• 6:52
  like,
• 6:52
  whoa.
• 6:53
  And
• 6:54
  all
• 6:54
  I
• 6:54
  wanted
• 6:55
  to
• 6:55
  do
• 6:55
  in
• 6:56
  that
• 6:56
  moment
• 6:56
  was
• 6:57
  just
• 6:57
  go
• 6:57
  to
• 6:57
  bed.
• 6:58
  And
• 6:58
  I
• 6:58
  knew
• 6:58
  I
• 6:58
  had
• 6:58
  to
• 6:59
  take.
• 6:59
  We
• 6:59
  had
• 6:59
  to
• 6:59
  take
• 6:59
  care
• 6:59
  of
• 6:59
  these
• 7:00
  dogs.
• 7:00
  And
• 7:00
  I
• 7:00
  was
• 7:00
  just
• 7:00
  like,
• 7:01
  I
• 7:01
  cannot
• 7:02
  with
• 7:02
  you.
• 7:02
  And
• 7:03
  it
• 7:03
  was
• 7:03
  like
• 7:03
  the
• 7:03
  exact
• 7:04
  same
• 7:04
  amount
• 7:05
  of
• 7:05
  food,
• 7:06
  the
• 7:06
  exact,
• 7:07
  you
• 7:07
  know,
• 7:08
  routine.
• 7:08
  Like,
• 7:08
  they
• 7:09
  always.
• 7:09
  It's
• 7:09
  like
• 7:09
  Daisy
• 7:10
  always
• 7:10
  goes
• 7:11
  so
• 7:11
  fast
• 7:11
  and
• 7:11
  so
• 7:12
  does
• 7:12
  Harold
• 7:12
  for
• 7:12
  the
• 7:12
  most
• 7:13
  part.
• 7:13
  And
• 7:13
  I
• 7:14
  tell
• 7:14
  you,
• 7:14
  like,
• 7:14
  they
• 7:14
  could
• 7:15
  not
• 7:15
  go
• 7:16
  any
• 7:16
  slower.
• 7:16
  Michelle.
• 7:17
  I
• 7:17
  was
• 7:17
  like,
• 7:17
  are
• 7:18
  you
• 7:19
  kidding
• 7:19
  me?
• 7:21
  Just
• 7:22
  eat
• 7:22
  your
• 7:23
  damn
• 7:23
  food.
• 7:25
  And
• 7:25
  then
• 7:25
  it
• 7:26
  was
• 7:26
  like
• 7:26
  they
• 7:26
  couldn't.
• 7:26
  And
• 7:26
  then
• 7:26
  it
• 7:27
  was
• 7:27
  like
• 7:27
  they
• 7:27
  were
• 7:27
  like,
• 7:27
  you
• 7:27
  know,
• 7:27
  are
• 7:27
  they
• 7:28
  going
• 7:28
  to
• 7:28
  pee?
• 7:28
  They're
• 7:28
  like,
• 7:29
  just
• 7:29
  meandering
• 7:30
  along.
• 7:30
  And
• 7:30
  I'm
• 7:30
  like,
• 7:30
  are
• 7:31
  you
• 7:31
  kidding
• 7:32
  me?
• 7:32
  Maybe
• 7:33
  they
• 7:33
  got
• 7:33
  a
• 7:33
  gummy
• 7:34
  also.
• 7:35
  They
• 7:35
  might
• 7:35
  have.
• 7:36
  Who
• 7:36
  knows?
• 7:37
  They're
• 7:37
  like,
• 7:37
  yes,
• 7:39
  yes,
• 7:40
  whatever.
• 7:41
  But
• 7:41
  like,
• 7:41
  I
• 7:42
  think
• 7:42
  when
• 7:42
  you're,
• 7:42
  when
• 7:42
  you're,
• 7:43
  you
• 7:43
  know,
• 7:43
  high,
• 7:43
  you're
• 7:44
  like,
• 7:44
  you're
• 7:44
  very
• 7:45
  aware
• 7:45
  of
• 7:45
  like,
• 7:46
  every
• 7:46
  single
• 7:47
  moment.
• 7:47
  And
• 7:48
  it's
• 7:48
  like
• 7:48
  everything
• 7:48
  like,
• 7:49
  just,
• 7:49
  you
• 7:49
  know.
• 7:49
  So
• 7:49
  I
• 7:50
  wonder
• 7:50
  if
• 7:50
  part
• 7:50
  of
• 7:50
  it
• 7:50
  is
• 7:51
  that,
• 7:51
  like,
• 7:51
  when
• 7:52
  you're
• 7:52
  hyper
• 7:52
  aware,
• 7:53
  like,
• 7:53
  you're
• 7:53
  noticing
• 7:54
  everything,
• 7:54
  and
• 7:54
  you're
• 7:55
  much
• 7:55
  more
• 7:55
  present
• 7:56
  in
• 7:56
  the
• 7:57
  fact
• 7:57
  that,
• 7:57
  like,
• 7:57
  then
• 7:58
  in
• 7:58
  your
• 7:58
  body
• 7:59
  than
• 8:00
  you
• 8:00
  probably
• 8:00
  would
• 8:00
  be
• 8:00
  normally.
• 8:01
  I
• 8:02
  mean,
• 8:02
  honestly,
• 8:02
  I
• 8:03
  never
• 8:03
  even
• 8:03
  conceived
• 8:04
  of
• 8:04
  getting
• 8:04
  high
• 8:05
  to
• 8:05
  get
• 8:05
  Josh
• 8:05
  to
• 8:05
  school,
• 8:06
  but
• 8:06
  that
• 8:06
  might
• 8:07
  have
• 8:07
  helped.
• 8:07
  I
• 8:07
  don't
• 8:08
  know.
• 8:08
  I
• 8:08
  don't
• 8:09
  know.
• 8:09
  I.
• 8:09
  Okay,
• 8:10
  So
• 8:10
  I
• 8:11
  do
• 8:11
  think,
• 8:11
  though,
• 8:11
  this,
• 8:11
  that,
• 8:12
  like,
• 8:12
  one
• 8:12
  of
• 8:12
  my
• 8:12
  triggers
• 8:13
  is
• 8:13
  being
• 8:14
  late.
• 8:15
  Yeah.
• 8:16
  Because
• 8:16
  you
• 8:16
  were
• 8:16
  always
• 8:17
  late
• 8:17
  growing
• 8:17
  up.
• 8:17
  Oh,
• 8:18
  my
• 8:18
  God,
• 8:18
  always.
• 8:19
  And
• 8:19
  there
• 8:19
  was
• 8:19
  always
• 8:19
  some
• 8:20
  eye
• 8:20
  roll
• 8:20
  or
• 8:21
  somebody
• 8:21
  disappointed
• 8:22
  in
• 8:22
  you
• 8:22
  because
• 8:22
  you
• 8:23
  were.
• 8:23
  I
• 8:23
  mean,
• 8:23
  it
• 8:23
  was
• 8:23
  a
• 8:23
  lot.
• 8:24
  There
• 8:24
  was
• 8:24
  a
• 8:24
  lot
• 8:24
  that
• 8:25
  I
• 8:25
  pursued.
• 8:25
  Anyway,
• 8:26
  what
• 8:26
  was
• 8:27
  the
• 8:27
  story?
• 8:27
  Like,
• 8:27
  mom
• 8:27
  and
• 8:28
  dad,
• 8:28
  like,
• 8:28
  when
• 8:28
  they
• 8:28
  got
• 8:29
  married,
• 8:29
  they
• 8:29
  told
• 8:29
  dad
• 8:31
  that
• 8:31
  the
• 8:31
  wedding
• 8:31
  was
• 8:31
  gonna
• 8:32
  be
• 8:32
  like
• 8:32
  two
• 8:32
  hours
• 8:32
  later.
• 8:33
  And
• 8:33
  then
• 8:33
  he
• 8:33
  got
• 8:34
  there
• 8:34
  on
• 8:34
  time.
• 8:35
  Yeah,
• 8:35
  no,
• 8:36
  a
• 8:36
  hundred
• 8:36
  percent.
• 8:37
  Like,
• 8:37
  he
• 8:37
  was.
• 8:38
  Yeah,
• 8:38
  that
• 8:39
  was
• 8:39
  regular.
• 8:40
  They
• 8:40
  were.
• 8:40
  Yeah,
• 8:41
  that
• 8:41
  was
• 8:41
  like
• 8:41
  a
• 8:41
  regular
• 8:42
  thing.
• 8:42
  They
• 8:42
  would
• 8:42
  tell
• 8:42
  him
• 8:43
  the
• 8:43
  wrong
• 8:43
  time
• 8:43
  for
• 8:44
  everything.
• 8:44
  That's
• 8:45
  wild.
• 8:46
  Yeah.
• 8:46
  They
• 8:47
  would
• 8:47
  say,
• 8:47
  like,
• 8:47
  okay,
• 8:47
  it's
• 8:48
  gonna
• 8:48
  be
• 8:48
  at,
• 8:48
  you
• 8:49
  know,
• 8:49
  at
• 8:49
  4,
• 8:50
  because
• 8:50
  it
• 8:51
  was
• 8:51
  gonna
• 8:51
  be
• 8:51
  at
• 8:51
  6.
• 8:52
  Crazy.
• 8:54
  Yeah,
• 8:54
  it
• 8:54
  definitely
• 8:55
  true.
• 8:55
  Like,
• 8:55
  I
• 8:56
  don't
• 8:56
  have
• 8:56
  a
• 8:56
  big
• 8:56
  thing
• 8:56
  about
• 8:57
  very
• 8:57
  often
• 8:58
  when
• 8:58
  somebody
• 8:59
  talks
• 8:59
  back
• 8:59
  to
• 9:00
  me.
• 9:00
  She
• 9:00
  had
• 9:00
  some
• 9:00
  different
• 9:00
  ones,
• 9:01
  like
• 9:01
  rushing,
• 9:01
  being
• 9:02
  late,
• 9:03
  kids
• 9:03
  talking
• 9:03
  back,
• 9:04
  disrespect,
• 9:05
  looking
• 9:06
  at
• 9:06
  grades
• 9:06
  online.
• 9:06
  I
• 9:07
  did
• 9:07
  want
• 9:07
  to
• 9:07
  talk
• 9:07
  about
• 9:07
  this
• 9:08
  one,
• 9:08
  though,
• 9:08
  because
• 9:08
  I
• 9:08
  do
• 9:08
  think
• 9:09
  parents
• 9:09
  who.
• 9:10
  It's
• 9:10
  all
• 9:10
  online
• 9:11
  now,
• 9:12
  so.
• 9:13
  And
• 9:13
  that
• 9:13
  wasn't
• 9:14
  the
• 9:14
  case.
• 9:14
  Like,
• 9:14
  we
• 9:14
  could
• 9:14
  go
• 9:15
  a
• 9:15
  goodly
• 9:15
  amount
• 9:15
  of
• 9:16
  time
• 9:16
  before
• 9:16
  our
• 9:16
  parents
• 9:17
  knew
• 9:17
  that
• 9:17
  we
• 9:17
  had
• 9:17
  screwed
• 9:17
  up
• 9:18
  in
• 9:18
  school.
• 9:19
  Right.
• 9:19
  And
• 9:19
  now
• 9:19
  it's
• 9:19
  like
• 9:20
  every
• 9:20
  second
• 9:20
  of
• 9:21
  every
• 9:21
  day
• 9:21
  you
• 9:22
  can
• 9:22
  see.
• 9:23
  I
• 9:23
  mean.
• 9:23
  I
• 9:23
  mean,
• 9:24
  as
• 9:24
  long
• 9:24
  as
• 9:24
  the
• 9:24
  teacher
• 9:25
  know,
• 9:25
  put
• 9:25
  stuff
• 9:25
  in.
• 9:26
  But
• 9:26
  I
• 9:26
  think
• 9:26
  this
• 9:27
  is
• 9:27
  terrible.
• 9:27
  Yeah.
• 9:27
  I
• 9:28
  get
• 9:28
  like
• 9:28
  a
• 9:28
  ping
• 9:29
  every
• 9:29
  time.
• 9:29
  Like
• 9:29
  when
• 9:30
  Emma's
• 9:30
  scores.
• 9:31
  Yeah.
• 9:31
  It's
• 9:31
  like,
• 9:32
  okay,
• 9:32
  she's
• 9:32
  now
• 9:33
  gone
• 9:33
  up
• 9:33
  from
• 9:33
  this
• 9:33
  to
• 9:33
  this
• 9:34
  or
• 9:34
  gone
• 9:34
  down
• 9:34
  from
• 9:34
  this
• 9:34
  to
• 9:35
  that.
• 9:35
  And
• 9:35
  I'm
• 9:35
  like,
• 9:35
  oh,
• 9:35
  okay.
• 9:36
  So
• 9:36
  it's
• 9:36
  like.
• 9:36
  Yeah,
• 9:36
  it's
• 9:37
  constant.
• 9:37
  It's
• 9:38
  wild.
• 9:38
  Yeah.
• 9:39
  And
• 9:39
  it
• 9:39
  feels
• 9:39
  so
• 9:40
  stressful.
• 9:41
  And
• 9:41
  I.
• 9:42
  I
• 9:42
  did
• 9:42
  relate
• 9:43
  to
• 9:43
  this
• 9:43
  one.
• 9:43
  She
• 9:43
  was
• 9:43
  like,
• 9:45
  asking
• 9:45
  what
• 9:45
  were
• 9:46
  the
• 9:46
  feelings
• 9:47
  behind
• 9:47
  the
• 9:47
  trigger?
• 9:49
  So
• 9:49
  you're
• 9:49
  being
• 9:49
  triggered
• 9:49
  by
• 9:50
  something,
• 9:50
  but,
• 9:50
  like,
• 9:50
  what's
• 9:50
  underneath
• 9:51
  it?
• 9:51
  And
• 9:52
  she
• 9:52
  was
• 9:52
  explaining,
• 9:53
  like,
• 9:53
  this
• 9:53
  parent
• 9:54
  portal.
• 9:54
  And
• 9:54
  I
• 9:54
  thought,
• 9:56
  you
• 9:56
  know,
• 9:56
  okay,
• 9:57
  like,
• 9:57
  we
• 9:58
  didn't
• 9:58
  have
• 9:58
  one
• 9:58
  for
• 9:59
  Josh
• 9:59
  until
• 9:59
  he
• 10:00
  was
• 10:00
  in
• 10:00
  high
• 10:00
  school,
• 10:01
  so
• 10:01
  I
• 10:01
  didn't
• 10:02
  grow
• 10:02
  up
• 10:02
  with
• 10:03
  him.
• 10:04
  Right.
• 10:04
  As
• 10:04
  a
• 10:04
  parent
• 10:05
  with
• 10:05
  these.
• 10:05
  But
• 10:05
  I
• 10:05
  can
• 10:06
  imagine
• 10:06
  if
• 10:06
  they're.
• 10:06
  Ever
• 10:06
  since
• 10:07
  they
• 10:07
  were
• 10:07
  little
• 10:07
  and
• 10:07
  your
• 10:08
  kid
• 10:08
  has
• 10:09
  got
• 10:09
  executive
• 10:09
  functioning
• 10:10
  issues.
• 10:11
  It's
• 10:11
  a
• 10:11
  constant
• 10:12
  thing
• 10:12
  where
• 10:13
  you
• 10:13
  would
• 10:13
  be
• 10:13
  looking
• 10:13
  at
• 10:13
  this
• 10:14
  portal
• 10:14
  and
• 10:14
  then
• 10:14
  you're
• 10:15
  like
• 10:15
  thinking
• 10:15
  to
• 10:15
  yourself,
• 10:15
  even
• 10:16
  before
• 10:16
  you
• 10:16
  even
• 10:16
  get
• 10:17
  to
• 10:17
  it,
• 10:18
  before
• 10:18
  you
• 10:18
  even
• 10:19
  open
• 10:19
  it,
• 10:19
  she
• 10:20
  says
• 10:20
  you're
• 10:20
  already
• 10:20
  thinking
• 10:21
  like,
• 10:21
  oh
• 10:21
  my
• 10:21
  God,
• 10:21
  they
• 10:22
  probably
• 10:22
  have
• 10:22
  17
• 10:22
  things
• 10:23
  they're
• 10:23
  missing.
• 10:24
  Fact.
• 10:24
  They
• 10:25
  generally
• 10:25
  do.
• 10:27
  You
• 10:27
  know
• 10:27
  what
• 10:27
  I
• 10:28
  mean?
• 10:28
  Just
• 10:28
  because,
• 10:28
  of
• 10:28
  course,
• 10:29
  right.
• 10:29
  Neurological,
• 10:30
  it's
• 10:30
  not
• 10:30
  naughty.
• 10:30
  It's
• 10:31
  just
• 10:31
  like
• 10:31
  they
• 10:31
  forget
• 10:31
  their
• 10:31
  paper
• 10:32
  or
• 10:32
  wherever
• 10:33
  and
• 10:33
  there's
• 10:34
  a
• 10:34
  million
• 10:34
  assignments.
• 10:35
  Like
• 10:35
  a
• 10:36
  million.
• 10:36
  I
• 10:36
  don't
• 10:36
  know.
• 10:36
  There's
• 10:37
  a
• 10:37
  million.
• 10:37
  And
• 10:38
  then
• 10:38
  Michelle,
• 10:38
  like,
• 10:39
  then
• 10:39
  you're
• 10:39
  also
• 10:39
  thinking,
• 10:40
  I
• 10:40
  should
• 10:40
  have
• 10:40
  been
• 10:40
  more
• 10:41
  on
• 10:41
  top
• 10:41
  of
• 10:41
  it.
• 10:41
  So
• 10:42
  like
• 10:42
  this
• 10:42
  guilt
• 10:43
  shame
• 10:43
  piece,
• 10:44
  I
• 10:44
  just
• 10:44
  wanted
• 10:44
  to
• 10:45
  bring
• 10:45
  that
• 10:45
  up
• 10:45
  because
• 10:45
  I
• 10:45
  think
• 10:45
  that
• 10:46
  that
• 10:46
  idea
• 10:46
  of
• 10:46
  like,
• 10:46
  you
• 10:47
  haven't
• 10:47
  even
• 10:47
  looked
• 10:48
  at
• 10:48
  the
• 10:48
  grades
• 10:49
  yet,
• 10:50
  you
• 10:50
  haven't
• 10:50
  even
• 10:50
  looked
• 10:51
  at
• 10:51
  the
• 10:51
  assignments
• 10:51
  and
• 10:51
  you
• 10:51
  already
• 10:52
  potentially
• 10:52
  have
• 10:53
  all
• 10:53
  of
• 10:53
  these
• 10:53
  feels
• 10:54
  underneath
• 10:55
  that.
• 10:56
  Yeah,
• 10:57
  well,
• 10:57
  I
• 10:57
  was
• 10:57
  just
• 10:57
  thinking
• 10:58
  that
• 10:58
  it's,
• 10:58
  it's
• 10:58
  similar
• 10:59
  to
• 10:59
  like
• 11:00
  the,
• 11:01
  like
• 11:01
  looking
• 11:01
  at
• 11:01
  the,
• 11:02
  the
• 11:02
  stock
• 11:03
  exchange,
• 11:03
  you
• 11:04
  know,
• 11:04
  like
• 11:04
  if
• 11:05
  you're
• 11:05
  looking,
• 11:05
  if
• 11:05
  you
• 11:05
  buy
• 11:05
  a
• 11:06
  stock
• 11:06
  and
• 11:06
  then
• 11:06
  you're
• 11:07
  like
• 11:07
  looking
• 11:07
  at
• 11:07
  it
• 11:07
  every
• 11:08
  single
• 11:08
  day
• 11:08
  and
• 11:08
  it's
• 11:08
  constantly
• 11:09
  going
• 11:09
  up
• 11:09
  and
• 11:09
  down,
• 11:09
  up
• 11:10
  and
• 11:10
  down.
• 11:10
  And
• 11:10
  so
• 11:10
  like
• 11:10
  there's
• 11:10
  a
• 11:11
  whole
• 11:11
  roller
• 11:11
  coaster
• 11:11
  of
• 11:12
  emotions
• 11:12
  that
• 11:12
  happen.
• 11:12
  And
• 11:13
  they
• 11:13
  say
• 11:13
  like,
• 11:13
  hey,
• 11:13
  buy
• 11:14
  something
• 11:14
  and
• 11:15
  don't
• 11:15
  look
• 11:15
  at
• 11:15
  it
• 11:15
  because
• 11:16
  like
• 11:16
  the
• 11:16
  aggregate
• 11:17
  at
• 11:17
  over
• 11:18
  time
• 11:18
  will.
• 11:19
  It
• 11:19
  will
• 11:19
  go
• 11:19
  up.
• 11:19
  It's
• 11:20
  going
• 11:20
  to
• 11:20
  go
• 11:20
  up.
• 11:20
  But
• 11:21
  like
• 11:21
  if
• 11:21
  you're
• 11:21
  looking
• 11:21
  at
• 11:21
  it
• 11:21
  every
• 11:22
  single
• 11:22
  day,
• 11:22
  you're
• 11:22
  just
• 11:23
  going
• 11:23
  to
• 11:23
  drive
• 11:23
  yourself
• 11:23
  insane.
• 11:24
  And
• 11:25
  except
• 11:26
  if
• 11:26
  you
• 11:27
  don't
• 11:27
  look
• 11:27
  at
• 11:27
  it
• 11:27
  every
• 11:28
  single
• 11:28
  day,
• 11:29
  the
• 11:29
  pile
• 11:30
  on
• 11:30
  for
• 11:30
  the
• 11:30
  kid
• 11:31
  is
• 11:32
  so
• 11:32
  tremendous.
• 11:33
  Like
• 11:34
  for
• 11:34
  example,
• 11:35
  I
• 11:35
  use
• 11:35
  that
• 11:36
  to
• 11:36
  know,
• 11:36
  does
• 11:37
  Josh
• 11:37
  need
• 11:37
  to
• 11:37
  go
• 11:37
  to
• 11:38
  the
• 11:38
  Friday
• 11:38
  or
• 11:39
  an
• 11:39
  early
• 11:39
  morning
• 11:39
  thing
• 11:40
  to
• 11:40
  get
• 11:40
  something
• 11:41
  made
• 11:41
  up
• 11:41
  because
• 11:42
  he
• 11:42
  missed
• 11:42
  a
• 11:42
  quiz
• 11:42
  or
• 11:42
  he
• 11:43
  missed
• 11:43
  a
• 11:43
  test
• 11:43
  or
• 11:43
  he
• 11:43
  missed
• 11:44
  something.
• 11:44
  Right.
• 11:44
  Which
• 11:45
  also
• 11:45
  happens.
• 11:45
  Right.
• 11:46
  Frequent
• 11:46
  absences
• 11:47
  happen
• 11:48
  because
• 11:49
  of
• 11:49
  a
• 11:49
  lot
• 11:49
  of
• 11:49
  reasons.
• 11:50
  But
• 11:50
  I
• 11:50
  think
• 11:50
  anxiety
• 11:51
  is
• 11:51
  a
• 11:51
  huge
• 11:52
  one
• 11:52
  for
• 11:52
  a
• 11:52
  lot
• 11:52
  of
• 11:52
  kids
• 11:53
  who've
• 11:53
  got
• 11:54
  executive
• 11:54
  functioning.
• 11:55
  Like,
• 11:55
  I
• 11:55
  don't
• 11:55
  want
• 11:55
  to
• 11:55
  go
• 11:55
  deal
• 11:56
  with
• 11:56
  the
• 11:56
  day,
• 11:57
  so
• 11:57
  I
• 11:58
  might
• 11:58
  get
• 11:58
  an
• 11:58
  upset
• 11:59
  tummy
• 11:59
  or
• 11:59
  I
• 11:59
  might,
• 12:00
  you
• 12:00
  know,
• 12:00
  kind
• 12:00
  of
• 12:01
  not
• 12:02
  feel
• 12:02
  right.
• 12:02
  Like
• 12:02
  using
• 12:03
  sometimes.
• 12:03
  I
• 12:03
  was
• 12:04
  always
• 12:04
  the
• 12:05
  nurse's
• 12:05
  office.
• 12:05
  Yeah,
• 12:06
  yeah.
• 12:07
  Like
• 12:07
  not
• 12:07
  using
• 12:08
  it
• 12:08
  in
• 12:08
  like
• 12:08
  a
• 12:10
  intentional
• 12:11
  way,
• 12:11
  but,
• 12:12
  but
• 12:12
  like
• 12:12
  that's
• 12:12
  sort
• 12:13
  of
• 12:13
  like
• 12:13
  this
• 12:13
  release
• 12:13
  valve
• 12:14
  for
• 12:14
  like
• 12:14
  life
• 12:15
  being
• 12:15
  really
• 12:15
  hard
• 12:16
  sometimes.
• 12:17
  And
• 12:17
  so.
• 12:17
  But
• 12:18
  anyway,
• 12:18
  if
• 12:18
  you
• 12:18
  don't
• 12:18
  look
• 12:18
  at
• 12:19
  this
• 12:19
  portal,
• 12:21
  you
• 12:21
  know,
• 12:21
  then
• 12:21
  you
• 12:21
  don't
• 12:22
  realize
• 12:22
  all
• 12:22
  the
• 12:22
  things
• 12:23
  they've
• 12:23
  missed,
• 12:24
  you
• 12:24
  know,
• 12:25
  Cause
• 12:25
  you're
• 12:25
  not
• 12:25
  seeing
• 12:25
  the
• 12:26
  teacher
• 12:26
  every
• 12:26
  day
• 12:26
  at
• 12:26
  a
• 12:27
  certain
• 12:27
  point.
• 12:27
  So
• 12:28
  then
• 12:28
  you
• 12:28
  do
• 12:29
  need
• 12:29
  to
• 12:29
  help
• 12:29
  figure
• 12:30
  out.
• 12:30
  Help
• 12:31
  them
• 12:31
  sometimes
• 12:32
  to
• 12:32
  figure
• 12:32
  out
• 12:32
  how
• 12:32
  to
• 12:32
  navigate
• 12:33
  that.
• 12:33
  So
• 12:34
  it's.
• 12:34
  I
• 12:35
  don't
• 12:35
  know.
• 12:35
  It
• 12:35
  was
• 12:35
  interesting.
• 12:36
  I
• 12:36
  thought
• 12:36
  it
• 12:37
  would
• 12:37
  be
• 12:37
  interesting
• 12:37
  to
• 12:37
  think
• 12:37
  about
• 12:38
  or.
• 12:38
  Cause
• 12:38
  I
• 12:38
  agree.
• 12:38
  Don't
• 12:39
  look
• 12:39
  at
• 12:39
  it
• 12:39
  would
• 12:39
  be
• 12:39
  the
• 12:40
  best
• 12:40
  answer.
• 12:40
  Except
• 12:41
  for.
• 12:42
  I
• 12:42
  honestly
• 12:43
  believe
• 12:43
  when
• 12:43
  Josh.
• 12:44
  Not
• 12:44
  now,
• 12:45
  but
• 12:45
  when
• 12:45
  Josh
• 12:45
  was
• 12:46
  a
• 12:46
  freshman
• 12:46
  in
• 12:46
  high
• 12:47
  school.
• 12:47
  If
• 12:47
  I
• 12:47
  hadn't
• 12:47
  looked
• 12:48
  at
• 12:48
  that
• 12:48
  regularly
• 12:49
  with
• 12:49
  him,
• 12:52
  I
• 12:52
  know
• 12:52
  his
• 12:53
  grades
• 12:53
  would
• 12:53
  not
• 12:53
  have
• 12:54
  been
• 12:54
  where
• 12:54
  they
• 12:55
  were
• 12:56
  now.
• 12:57
  Does
• 12:57
  that
• 12:57
  matter
• 12:58
  so
• 12:58
  much?
• 12:58
  I
• 12:58
  don't
• 12:58
  know.
• 12:58
  But,
• 12:59
  I
• 12:59
  mean,
• 12:59
  if
• 12:59
  somebody's
• 13:00
  trying
• 13:00
  to
• 13:00
  go
• 13:00
  to
• 13:00
  college
• 13:01
  or
• 13:01
  something,
• 13:01
  then
• 13:01
  it
• 13:01
  kind
• 13:02
  of
• 13:02
  does.
• 13:03
  Yeah.
• 13:04
  No,
• 13:05
  I'm
• 13:05
  having
• 13:06
  a
• 13:06
  lot
• 13:06
  of
• 13:07
  thoughts
• 13:07
  and
• 13:08
  feelings
• 13:09
  about
• 13:09
  this,
• 13:09
  and
• 13:10
  I'm
• 13:10
  not
• 13:10
  exactly
• 13:10
  sure
• 13:10
  where
• 13:11
  to
• 13:11
  start
• 13:11
  with
• 13:11
  it.
• 13:12
  I
• 13:12
  know.
• 13:13
  I
• 13:13
  see
• 13:13
  a
• 13:13
  furrowed
• 13:14
  brow.
• 13:15
  Yeah.
• 13:16
  Because
• 13:16
  I'm.
• 13:17
  I'm
• 13:17
  thinking
• 13:17
  back
• 13:17
  to,
• 13:18
  like,
• 13:18
  my
• 13:18
  experience
• 13:19
  and,
• 13:19
  like,
• 13:19
  how
• 13:21
  when
• 13:22
  I
• 13:22
  was
• 13:22
  a
• 13:22
  kid,
• 13:22
  like,
• 13:22
  I.
• 13:22
  Yeah.
• 13:23
  There
• 13:23
  was
• 13:23
  so
• 13:23
  much
• 13:23
  stuff
• 13:24
  that
• 13:24
  I
• 13:24
  forgot
• 13:24
  or
• 13:24
  I'd
• 13:25
  miss.
• 13:25
  And
• 13:25
  then
• 13:25
  I'm.
• 13:26
  I'm
• 13:26
  trying
• 13:26
  to
• 13:27
  get
• 13:27
  it
• 13:27
  done,
• 13:27
  and.
• 13:29
  And
• 13:29
  then
• 13:29
  I
• 13:29
  took
• 13:30
  it
• 13:30
  all
• 13:30
  on
• 13:30
  myself.
• 13:31
  And
• 13:31
  so
• 13:31
  then
• 13:31
  I
• 13:31
  beat
• 13:32
  myself
• 13:32
  up
• 13:33
  tremendously.
• 13:34
  And
• 13:34
  so
• 13:34
  if
• 13:34
  I
• 13:34
  had
• 13:34
  had
• 13:35
  parent
• 13:35
  intervention,
• 13:37
  I
• 13:37
  think
• 13:37
  that
• 13:37
  would
• 13:38
  have
• 13:38
  been
• 13:38
  probably
• 13:39
  helpful.
• 13:39
  I
• 13:39
  guess
• 13:39
  there
• 13:39
  would
• 13:39
  have
• 13:40
  been
• 13:40
  an
• 13:40
  easier
• 13:40
  way
• 13:40
  for
• 13:40
  mom
• 13:40
  and
• 13:40
  dad
• 13:41
  to
• 13:41
  have
• 13:41
  known.
• 13:41
  That
• 13:41
  would
• 13:41
  have
• 13:42
  probably
• 13:42
  been
• 13:43
  useful
• 13:44
  for
• 13:44
  them
• 13:44
  and
• 13:44
  for
• 13:44
  me.
• 13:45
  But
• 13:45
  then
• 13:46
  I
• 13:46
  also
• 13:46
  think,
• 13:46
  like,
• 13:47
  had
• 13:47
  there
• 13:47
  been.
• 13:48
  Every
• 13:48
  week,
• 13:49
  like,
• 13:49
  you
• 13:49
  know,
• 13:49
  we're
• 13:50
  trying
• 13:50
  to
• 13:50
  figure
• 13:50
  out,
• 13:50
  like,
• 13:51
  okay,
• 13:51
  well,
• 13:51
  do
• 13:51
  you
• 13:51
  have
• 13:51
  to
• 13:51
  go
• 13:52
  do
• 13:52
  this
• 13:52
  extra
• 13:52
  thing
• 13:53
  because
• 13:54
  you
• 13:54
  didn't
• 13:55
  get
• 13:55
  whatever
• 13:56
  done?
• 13:56
  Like,
• 13:57
  that's
• 13:57
  also
• 13:57
  equally
• 13:58
  stressful
• 13:58
  because
• 13:58
  it's
• 13:59
  like,
• 13:59
  man,
• 13:59
  look,
• 13:59
  once
• 13:59
  again,
• 14:00
  I
• 14:00
  have
• 14:00
  to
• 14:00
  go
• 14:00
  to
• 14:00
  this
• 14:00
  fr.
• 14:00
  I
• 14:01
  have
• 14:01
  to
• 14:01
  go
• 14:01
  to
• 14:01
  this
• 14:01
  extra
• 14:02
  thing
• 14:02
  because
• 14:02
  I
• 14:02
  screwed
• 14:03
  up.
• 14:03
  So,
• 14:04
  like,
• 14:04
  I
• 14:04
  guess
• 14:04
  my
• 14:04
  question
• 14:05
  is,
• 14:05
  like,
• 14:05
  how
• 14:06
  do
• 14:06
  you
• 14:07
  build
• 14:07
  it
• 14:07
  into
• 14:09
  the,
• 14:09
  like,
• 14:10
  normal
• 14:11
  and
• 14:12
  say,
• 14:12
  hey,
• 14:12
  you
• 14:13
  know,
• 14:13
  like,
• 14:14
  this
• 14:14
  is.
• 14:14
  Like,
• 14:15
  there's
• 14:15
  nothing
• 14:15
  wrong.
• 14:16
  Like,
• 14:16
  this
• 14:16
  is.
• 14:16
  This
• 14:16
  is
• 14:16
  what's
• 14:17
  gonna
• 14:17
  happen,
• 14:17
  buddy.
• 14:18
  Like,
• 14:18
  you
• 14:18
  know,
• 14:18
  we're.
• 14:18
  You're
• 14:18
  just.
• 14:19
  This
• 14:19
  is
• 14:19
  gonna.
• 14:19
  This
• 14:19
  is
• 14:19
  gonna
• 14:20
  occur,
• 14:20
  and.
• 14:22
  And
• 14:22
  then
• 14:22
  we
• 14:22
  just
• 14:22
  get
• 14:22
  to
• 14:23
  decide,
• 14:23
  like,
• 14:23
  hey,
• 14:23
  is
• 14:23
  this
• 14:24
  the
• 14:24
  week
• 14:24
  that
• 14:24
  we
• 14:24
  need
• 14:24
  to
• 14:24
  go
• 14:24
  or
• 14:25
  does
• 14:25
  the
• 14:25
  week
• 14:25
  we
• 14:25
  don't
• 14:25
  need
• 14:25
  to
• 14:26
  go?
• 14:26
  Like,
• 14:26
  it
• 14:26
  just
• 14:26
  depends
• 14:26
  because,
• 14:27
  like,
• 14:27
  our
• 14:27
  brains
• 14:27
  are
• 14:27
  different
• 14:28
  every
• 14:28
  day.
• 14:28
  So
• 14:28
  I
• 14:28
  think
• 14:28
  it's
• 14:28
  how
• 14:29
  you
• 14:29
  probably
• 14:29
  frame
• 14:30
  phrase
• 14:30
  it
• 14:30
  would
• 14:30
  be.
• 14:31
  It
• 14:31
  feels
• 14:32
  a
• 14:32
  little
• 14:32
  bit
• 14:32
  better
• 14:32
  to
• 14:32
  me,
• 14:33
  but
• 14:33
  it.
• 14:33
  It
• 14:33
  all
• 14:34
  just
• 14:34
  feels
• 14:34
  really,
• 14:35
  like,
• 14:36
  hard.
• 14:36
  And.
• 14:37
  And
• 14:37
  then
• 14:37
  I
• 14:37
  keep
• 14:37
  going
• 14:37
  back
• 14:38
  to,
• 14:38
  like,
• 14:38
  why
• 14:38
  does
• 14:38
  it
• 14:38
  even
• 14:39
  matter?
• 14:41
  But
• 14:41
  then
• 14:41
  it
• 14:41
  does
• 14:42
  matter.
• 14:42
  Like,
• 14:42
  you
• 14:42
  know,
• 14:43
  it's
• 14:43
  like,
• 14:43
  I
• 14:43
  know
• 14:43
  it
• 14:43
  matters
• 14:44
  because,
• 14:44
  like,
• 14:44
  learning
• 14:44
  how
• 14:44
  to
• 14:45
  attend
• 14:45
  is
• 14:45
  like
• 14:45
  learning
• 14:46
  how
• 14:46
  to
• 14:46
  become
• 14:47
  an
• 14:47
  adult.
• 14:47
  And
• 14:47
  so
• 14:48
  there's
• 14:48
  parts
• 14:48
  of
• 14:48
  that,
• 14:48
  like,
• 14:49
  where
• 14:49
  it
• 14:49
  matters,
• 14:50
  but
• 14:50
  then
• 14:50
  also
• 14:50
  it's
• 14:50
  like,
• 14:51
  but
• 14:51
  does,
• 14:52
  like,
• 14:52
  the
• 14:52
  grade
• 14:52
  matter?
• 14:53
  You
• 14:53
  know,
• 14:53
  but
• 14:53
  then
• 14:54
  it
• 14:54
  does
• 14:54
  if
• 14:54
  you
• 14:54
  want
• 14:54
  to
• 14:54
  go
• 14:54
  into
• 14:55
  college.
• 14:55
  So,
• 14:55
  like,
• 14:55
  I
• 14:55
  just.
• 14:56
  I
• 14:56
  have
• 14:56
  lots
• 14:56
  of.
• 14:57
  I
• 14:58
  have
• 14:58
  lots
• 14:58
  of
• 14:58
  conflicting
• 14:59
  feelings
• 14:59
  about
• 14:59
  this.
• 15:00
  Well,
• 15:00
  I
• 15:00
  think
• 15:01
  it
• 15:01
  helps
• 15:02
  me
• 15:02
  when
• 15:02
  we
• 15:02
  talk
• 15:03
  about
• 15:03
  this
• 15:03
  to
• 15:03
  know
• 15:04
  that
• 15:05
  this
• 15:06
  system
• 15:06
  was
• 15:06
  not
• 15:06
  built
• 15:08
  for
• 15:08
  anyone
• 15:08
  who
• 15:09
  has
• 15:11
  executive
• 15:11
  functioning
• 15:12
  issues.
• 15:13
  Right,
• 15:13
  Right.
• 15:14
  This
• 15:14
  system
• 15:14
  is
• 15:14
  set
• 15:15
  up
• 15:15
  to
• 15:15
  actually
• 15:16
  penalize
• 15:16
  you.
• 15:17
  Yes.
• 15:18
  Because
• 15:19
  the
• 15:19
  only
• 15:20
  answer
• 15:20
  to
• 15:20
  it
• 15:20
  is
• 15:21
  yes,
• 15:21
  you
• 15:21
  forgot
• 15:22
  something.
• 15:22
  I
• 15:22
  mean,
• 15:23
  of
• 15:23
  course
• 15:23
  something
• 15:24
  didn't
• 15:24
  get
• 15:24
  done.
• 15:25
  That
• 15:25
  should
• 15:25
  not
• 15:25
  be
• 15:26
  a
• 15:26
  question.
• 15:26
  That
• 15:27
  should
• 15:27
  be
• 15:27
  like,
• 15:28
  you
• 15:28
  know.
• 15:29
  Yeah,
• 15:29
  that's.
• 15:29
  That's
• 15:30
  an
• 15:31
  absolute,
• 15:32
  not
• 15:33
  just
• 15:33
  possibility,
• 15:34
  but
• 15:35
  most
• 15:35
  probable
• 15:37
  inevitability.
• 15:38
  Yeah.
• 15:38
  That
• 15:38
  this
• 15:38
  is
• 15:39
  going
• 15:39
  to
• 15:39
  happen.
• 15:39
  And
• 15:39
  so
• 15:40
  I
• 15:40
  remember
• 15:41
  his.
• 15:42
  His
• 15:43
  AP
• 15:43
  lit
• 15:44
  teacher
• 15:44
  this
• 15:44
  year
• 15:44
  was
• 15:44
  like,
• 15:45
  if
• 15:45
  you
• 15:45
  don't
• 15:45
  turn
• 15:45
  it
• 15:45
  in
• 15:45
  on
• 15:46
  time,
• 15:46
  you
• 15:46
  just
• 15:46
  don't
• 15:46
  get
• 15:46
  to
• 15:47
  turn
• 15:47
  it
• 15:47
  in.
• 15:48
  And
• 15:48
  that's
• 15:48
  how
• 15:49
  it
• 15:49
  is.
• 15:49
  And
• 15:49
  that's
• 15:49
  how
• 15:49
  it
• 15:49
  is
• 15:50
  in
• 15:50
  college.
• 15:50
  And,
• 15:50
  you
• 15:50
  know,
• 15:51
  it
• 15:51
  was
• 15:51
  funny
• 15:51
  because,
• 15:51
  I
• 15:51
  mean,
• 15:51
  it's
• 15:52
  not
• 15:52
  totally
• 15:52
  how
• 15:52
  it
• 15:52
  is
• 15:53
  in
• 15:53
  college
• 15:53
  anymore,
• 15:53
  but,
• 15:54
  you
• 15:54
  know,
• 15:54
  teaching
• 15:55
  at
• 15:55
  the
• 15:55
  university.
• 15:55
  But
• 15:56
  I
• 15:56
  see
• 15:56
  it's.
• 15:56
  It's
• 15:57
  changed,
• 15:57
  but.
• 15:57
  But
• 15:58
  it
• 15:58
  was
• 15:58
  great
• 15:58
  for
• 15:59
  Josh,
• 15:59
  actually,
• 16:00
  because
• 16:00
  he
• 16:01
  just
• 16:01
  goes,
• 16:02
  well,
• 16:02
  I
• 16:02
  didn't
• 16:02
  do
• 16:02
  it.
• 16:03
  It's
• 16:03
  gonna
• 16:03
  affect
• 16:04
  my
• 16:04
  grade,
• 16:04
  and
• 16:04
  I'm
• 16:04
  done.
• 16:05
  He.
• 16:05
  That
• 16:06
  helped
• 16:06
  him.
• 16:06
  That
• 16:07
  actually
• 16:07
  helped
• 16:07
  him
• 16:08
  because
• 16:08
  he
• 16:08
  just
• 16:08
  doesn't.
• 16:09
  He
• 16:09
  doesn't
• 16:10
  also
• 16:10
  beat
• 16:11
  himself
• 16:11
  up
• 16:11
  about
• 16:12
  stuff
• 16:12
  like
• 16:12
  that,
• 16:12
  which
• 16:13
  is
• 16:13
  great.
• 16:13
  I
• 16:14
  would
• 16:14
  never.
• 16:14
  That
• 16:14
  would
• 16:15
  have
• 16:15
  been
• 16:15
  horrible
• 16:15
  for
• 16:15
  me.
• 16:16
  Um,
• 16:17
  but
• 16:17
  for
• 16:17
  him,
• 16:18
  it's
• 16:18
  like,
• 16:18
  oh,
• 16:18
  okay,
• 16:18
  well,
• 16:19
  I
• 16:19
  didn't
• 16:19
  get
• 16:19
  it
• 16:19
  done,
• 16:19
  so
• 16:20
  I'm
• 16:20
  not
• 16:20
  gonna
• 16:20
  get
• 16:20
  an
• 16:20
  A
• 16:20
  in
• 16:21
  the
• 16:21
  class.
• 16:21
  So
• 16:21
  that's
• 16:21
  fine.
• 16:22
  And
• 16:22
  now
• 16:22
  we
• 16:23
  just
• 16:23
  keep
• 16:23
  doing
• 16:24
  everything
• 16:24
  we
• 16:24
  can
• 16:24
  to
• 16:24
  get
• 16:24
  it
• 16:25
  in.
• 16:25
  Whereas
• 16:25
  people
• 16:26
  who
• 16:26
  are
• 16:26
  like,
• 16:26
  okay,
• 16:26
  you
• 16:27
  can
• 16:27
  turn
• 16:27
  it
• 16:27
  in
• 16:27
  late,
• 16:27
  it
• 16:28
  causes
• 16:28
  him
• 16:29
  so
• 16:29
  much
• 16:30
  stress
• 16:30
  because
• 16:31
  he's.
• 16:31
  It's.
• 16:32
  He's
• 16:32
  constantly
• 16:33
  thinking,
• 16:33
  oh,
• 16:33
  gosh,
• 16:34
  now
• 16:34
  I
• 16:34
  have
• 16:34
  to
• 16:34
  do
• 16:34
  this.
• 16:34
  Now
• 16:35
  I
• 16:35
  have
• 16:35
  to
• 16:35
  do
• 16:35
  this,
• 16:36
  so.
• 16:37
  And
• 16:37
  it's
• 16:37
  from
• 16:37
  pointing
• 16:38
  you
• 16:38
  like
• 16:38
  you
• 16:38
  didn't
• 16:39
  get
• 16:39
  it
• 16:39
  done.
• 16:39
  And,
• 16:40
  like,
• 16:40
  that's
• 16:41
  like,
• 16:41
  why?
• 16:41
  Like,
• 16:41
  I
• 16:41
  just.
• 16:42
  I
• 16:42
  get
• 16:42
  really
• 16:42
  frustrated
• 16:43
  when
• 16:43
  it's
• 16:44
  like,
• 16:44
  oh,
• 16:44
  yeah,
• 16:44
  you
• 16:44
  can
• 16:44
  turn
• 16:44
  your
• 16:45
  homework
• 16:45
  in
• 16:45
  late
• 16:45
  as
• 16:46
  long
• 16:46
  as
• 16:46
  you
• 16:46
  turn
• 16:46
  it
• 16:46
  in.
• 16:47
  And
• 16:47
  it's
• 16:47
  like,
• 16:47
  but
• 16:47
  does
• 16:47
  that.
• 16:48
  Like,
• 16:48
  what
• 16:49
  are
• 16:49
  we
• 16:49
  teaching
• 16:50
  the
• 16:50
  kids
• 16:50
  in
• 16:51
  that
• 16:51
  scenario?
• 16:52
  Because
• 16:52
  it's
• 16:52
  like,
• 16:53
  are
• 16:53
  you
• 16:53
  actually
• 16:53
  learning
• 16:54
  anything
• 16:54
  if
• 16:54
  you're
• 16:55
  cramming
• 16:55
  it
• 16:55
  all
• 16:55
  in
• 16:56
  at
• 16:56
  the
• 16:56
  very
• 16:56
  last
• 16:56
  minute
• 16:57
  just
• 16:57
  to,
• 16:57
  like,
• 16:57
  turn
• 16:57
  in
• 16:58
  an
• 16:58
  assignment.
• 16:58
  I
• 16:58
  mean,
• 16:58
  the
• 16:59
  whole
• 16:59
  point
• 16:59
  of
• 16:59
  assignments
• 17:00
  is
• 17:00
  that
• 17:00
  you're
• 17:00
  supposed
• 17:00
  to
• 17:01
  be
• 17:01
  learning
• 17:01
  and
• 17:01
  gaining
• 17:02
  knowledge,
• 17:02
  and
• 17:02
  like,
• 17:03
  that's
• 17:03
  the
• 17:03
  goal
• 17:03
  of
• 17:04
  it
• 17:04
  all.
• 17:04
  And
• 17:05
  I
• 17:05
  think
• 17:05
  this
• 17:05
  is
• 17:05
  like,
• 17:05
  one
• 17:05
  of
• 17:05
  the
• 17:06
  things
• 17:06
  that
• 17:06
  we're
• 17:06
  going
• 17:06
  to
• 17:06
  have
• 17:06
  to
• 17:06
  reckon
• 17:07
  with
• 17:07
  in,
• 17:08
  in
• 17:08
  education
• 17:09
  is
• 17:09
  like,
• 17:09
  especially
• 17:10
  with
• 17:10
  AI
• 17:11
  and
• 17:11
  how
• 17:11
  easy
• 17:12
  it
• 17:12
  is
• 17:12
  to
• 17:12
  like,
• 17:12
  turn
• 17:13
  in
• 17:13
  an
• 17:13
  assignment
• 17:13
  that's.
• 17:14
  That
• 17:14
  AI
• 17:14
  did
• 17:15
  for
• 17:15
  you.
• 17:16
  Like,
• 17:16
  what
• 17:16
  are
• 17:16
  we
• 17:16
  actually
• 17:17
  trying
• 17:17
  to,
• 17:18
  to
• 17:18
  learn?
• 17:18
  And
• 17:18
  like,
• 17:18
  this
• 17:19
  is
• 17:19
  why
• 17:19
  I
• 17:19
  think,
• 17:19
  like,
• 17:19
  you
• 17:20
  know,
• 17:20
  we're
• 17:20
  in
• 17:20
  some
• 17:20
  ways,
• 17:21
  like,
• 17:21
  we're
• 17:21
  sort
• 17:22
  of
• 17:22
  the
• 17:22
  canary
• 17:22
  in
• 17:22
  the
• 17:23
  coal
• 17:23
  mine,
• 17:23
  right?
• 17:24
  Like,
• 17:24
  the
• 17:24
  ADHD
• 17:25
  neurodivergent
• 17:25
  people
• 17:26
  are
• 17:26
  the
• 17:27
  ones
• 17:27
  who
• 17:27
  kind
• 17:27
  of
• 17:27
  expose
• 17:28
  the
• 17:28
  issues.
• 17:29
  This
• 17:29
  is
• 17:29
  my
• 17:29
  personal
• 17:30
  take,
• 17:30
  and
• 17:30
  again,
• 17:30
  I'm
• 17:31
  not
• 17:31
  an
• 17:31
  educational
• 17:32
  person,
• 17:32
  so
• 17:32
  I
• 17:32
  might
• 17:32
  be
• 17:33
  saying
• 17:33
  this
• 17:33
  completely
• 17:33
  wrong.
• 17:33
  And
• 17:33
  I'm
• 17:34
  just
• 17:34
  going
• 17:34
  to
• 17:34
  caveat
• 17:34
  with
• 17:34
  that
• 17:35
  before
• 17:35
  I
• 17:35
  start
• 17:36
  as
• 17:37
  I
• 17:37
  see
• 17:37
  like,
• 17:37
  you
• 17:38
  know,
• 17:38
  the,
• 17:38
  the
• 17:39
  education
• 17:39
  guru
• 17:40
  over
• 17:40
  here
• 17:40
  who
• 17:40
  understands
• 17:41
  how
• 17:41
  this
• 17:41
  all
• 17:41
  works
• 17:42
  mechanically.
• 17:43
  But
• 17:43
  like,
• 17:44
  you
• 17:44
  know,
• 17:44
  as
• 17:45
  ADHD
• 17:45
  people,
• 17:46
  we,
• 17:46
  we
• 17:46
  are
• 17:46
  the
• 17:46
  ones
• 17:46
  who've
• 17:47
  sort
• 17:47
  of,
• 17:47
  you
• 17:48
  know,
• 17:49
  highlighted
• 17:49
  some
• 17:49
  of
• 17:50
  the,
• 17:51
  the
• 17:51
  challenges
• 17:52
  that
• 17:53
  the
• 17:53
  educational
• 17:54
  world
• 17:55
  falls
• 17:55
  into
• 17:56
  and
• 17:56
  the,
• 17:56
  the,
• 17:56
  the,
• 17:57
  the
• 17:57
  pits,
• 17:57
  right?
• 17:58
  The.
• 17:59
  It.
• 18:00
  There's
• 18:00
  some,
• 18:00
  there's
• 18:00
  some
• 18:01
  difficulties
• 18:01
  there.
• 18:01
  And
• 18:01
  so
• 18:02
  now
• 18:02
  with
• 18:02
  like,
• 18:02
  AI
• 18:02
  being
• 18:03
  able
• 18:03
  to
• 18:03
  do
• 18:03
  a
• 18:03
  lot
• 18:03
  of
• 18:03
  stuff
• 18:04
  and
• 18:04
  with,
• 18:04
  with
• 18:04
  all
• 18:04
  of
• 18:05
  things,
• 18:05
  like
• 18:05
  everyone's
• 18:05
  sort
• 18:06
  of
• 18:06
  being
• 18:06
  in
• 18:06
  a
• 18:06
  somewhat
• 18:08
  ADHD
• 18:08
  state
• 18:09
  because
• 18:09
  they're
• 18:09
  so
• 18:10
  their
• 18:10
  brains
• 18:10
  aren't
• 18:11
  working
• 18:11
  as
• 18:11
  quickly,
• 18:12
  it
• 18:12
  really
• 18:12
  highlights
• 18:13
  just
• 18:13
  how,
• 18:14
  how
• 18:15
  the
• 18:15
  education
• 18:16
  system
• 18:16
  doesn't
• 18:17
  help
• 18:17
  our
• 18:18
  students
• 18:19
  in
• 18:20
  the
• 18:20
  long
• 18:20
  term.
• 18:22
  And
• 18:22
  that's
• 18:22
  very
• 18:23
  gross.
• 18:23
  Oversight.
• 18:24
  I
• 18:24
  know.
• 18:25
  Not
• 18:25
  oversight.
• 18:26
  Just
• 18:26
  a
• 18:26
  bold
• 18:27
  statement
• 18:27
  and
• 18:28
  very
• 18:28
  broad.
• 18:29
  That's
• 18:29
  what
• 18:30
  I'm
• 18:30
  trying
• 18:30
  to
• 18:30
  say.
• 18:30
  That's
• 18:30
  what
• 18:30
  I
• 18:30
  was
• 18:30
  trying
• 18:30
  to
• 18:30
  say.
• 18:31
  Yeah.
• 18:31
  Different
• 18:31
  words.
• 18:31
  Yeah,
• 18:32
  no,
• 18:32
  absolutely.
• 18:33
  Okay,
• 18:34
  let
• 18:34
  me
• 18:34
  parse
• 18:34
  a
• 18:35
  few
• 18:35
  things
• 18:35
  apart.
• 18:35
  First
• 18:36
  of
• 18:36
  all,
• 18:37
  I
• 18:37
  think
• 18:37
  that's
• 18:38
  an
• 18:38
  entirely
• 18:38
  different
• 18:39
  podcast,
• 18:39
  which
• 18:39
  is
• 18:40
  amazing
• 18:40
  and
• 18:40
  we
• 18:40
  should
• 18:41
  totally
• 18:41
  talk
• 18:41
  about
• 18:41
  AI,
• 18:42
  because
• 18:43
  that
• 18:43
  is
• 18:43
  all
• 18:44
  anybody
• 18:44
  in
• 18:45
  my
• 18:45
  world
• 18:45
  is
• 18:45
  talking
• 18:46
  about
• 18:46
  right
• 18:46
  now,
• 18:46
  right?
• 18:47
  Math
• 18:47
  education
• 18:48
  specifically.
• 18:48
  It's
• 18:49
  like,
• 18:49
  well,
• 18:49
  what,
• 18:49
  what's
• 18:50
  the
• 18:50
  point?
• 18:51
  Right?
• 18:51
  And
• 18:51
  now
• 18:52
  this
• 18:52
  thing
• 18:52
  can
• 18:52
  do
• 18:53
  everything
• 18:53
  for
• 18:53
  you,
• 18:53
  so
• 18:54
  what's
• 18:54
  the
• 18:54
  point?
• 18:54
  And
• 18:55
  my
• 18:55
  point
• 18:55
  is
• 18:55
  actually
• 18:56
  completely,
• 18:57
  to
• 18:57
  come
• 18:57
  back
• 18:57
  to
• 18:58
  this
• 18:58
  is
• 18:59
  we
• 19:00
  have
• 19:00
  to
• 19:00
  know
• 19:00
  our
• 19:00
  brains
• 19:02
  in
• 19:02
  order
• 19:02
  to
• 19:03
  be
• 19:03
  able
• 19:03
  to
• 19:03
  use
• 19:04
  AI
• 19:04
  effectively.
• 19:06
  Right?
• 19:06
  And
• 19:07
  so
• 19:07
  part
• 19:07
  of
• 19:08
  what
• 19:08
  happens
• 19:09
  when
• 19:09
  I
• 19:09
  think
• 19:09
  we
• 19:10
  get
• 19:10
  triggered
• 19:11
  and
• 19:11
  when
• 19:11
  we
• 19:12
  react
• 19:12
  to
• 19:13
  things
• 19:13
  instead
• 19:13
  of
• 19:14
  respond
• 19:14
  to
• 19:14
  things
• 19:14
  is
• 19:15
  that
• 19:15
  we're
• 19:15
  sort
• 19:16
  of
• 19:16
  short
• 19:16
  circuiting
• 19:17
  the
• 19:17
  thinking.
• 19:19
  Right.
• 19:19
  I
• 19:20
  think
• 19:20
  I
• 19:20
  just
• 19:20
  got
• 19:20
  Triggered.
• 19:22
  That's
• 19:22
  what
• 19:22
  I
• 19:22
  realized.
• 19:23
  Like,
• 19:23
  I
• 19:23
  think
• 19:23
  I
• 19:24
  just
• 19:24
  got
• 19:24
  triggered
• 19:24
  because
• 19:25
  school
• 19:25
  is
• 19:26
  so
• 19:26
  triggering
• 19:27
  for
• 19:27
  me.
• 19:27
  So
• 19:27
  triggering.
• 19:28
  So,
• 19:29
  so
• 19:29
  triggering
• 19:29
  for
• 19:29
  me.
• 19:30
  It's
• 19:30
  true,
• 19:30
  though.
• 19:31
  Yeah.
• 19:32
  And
• 19:33
  you
• 19:34
  just
• 19:34
  kind
• 19:34
  of
• 19:34
  go
• 19:34
  off
• 19:35
  onto
• 19:35
  whatever
• 19:36
  synapse
• 19:37
  you've
• 19:38
  formed
• 19:38
  with
• 19:38
  it
• 19:39
  because.
• 19:40
  And
• 19:40
  I
• 19:40
  agree
• 19:41
  with
• 19:41
  parenting
• 19:42
  and
• 19:42
  school,
• 19:43
  it's
• 19:43
  so
• 19:43
  complicated
• 19:44
  in
• 19:45
  general.
• 19:46
  But
• 19:46
  then
• 19:47
  when
• 19:47
  you
• 19:47
  have
• 19:47
  a
• 19:47
  kid
• 19:47
  who
• 19:48
  has
• 19:49
  needs
• 19:50
  that
• 19:50
  are
• 19:50
  beyond
• 19:50
  what
• 19:51
  the
• 19:51
  system
• 19:52
  allows
• 19:53
  for,
• 19:53
  then
• 19:54
  it.
• 19:55
  You
• 19:55
  lose
• 19:55
  the
• 19:56
  kid
• 19:56
  sometimes
• 19:57
  in
• 19:57
  that.
• 19:57
  And
• 19:58
  that's,
• 19:58
  I
• 19:59
  think,
• 19:59
  the
• 19:59
  reactivity
• 20:00
  piece.
• 20:00
  For
• 20:00
  me,
• 20:02
  what's
• 20:02
  so
• 20:02
  important
• 20:02
  is
• 20:04
  I
• 20:04
  damage
• 20:05
  the
• 20:05
  relationship
• 20:07
  if
• 20:07
  I
• 20:07
  don't
• 20:07
  repair
• 20:08
  it,
• 20:08
  if
• 20:08
  I
• 20:08
  don't
• 20:09
  think
• 20:09
  it
• 20:09
  through.
• 20:09
  Because
• 20:11
  if
• 20:11
  what
• 20:11
  I'm
• 20:11
  harping
• 20:12
  on
• 20:12
  is
• 20:12
  the
• 20:13
  grade
• 20:14
  or
• 20:14
  is
• 20:14
  the
• 20:15
  fact
• 20:15
  that
• 20:15
  they
• 20:15
  didn't
• 20:15
  do
• 20:16
  something,
• 20:16
  Josh
• 20:16
  didn't
• 20:17
  do
• 20:17
  something,
• 20:18
  then
• 20:19
  I'm
• 20:19
  not
• 20:19
  really
• 20:20
  staying
• 20:20
  connected
• 20:21
  with
• 20:21
  him.
• 20:21
  I'm
• 20:22
  not
• 20:22
  being
• 20:22
  curious
• 20:22
  as
• 20:23
  to
• 20:23
  why
• 20:23
  it's
• 20:24
  happening,
• 20:24
  what's
• 20:25
  going
• 20:25
  on.
• 20:25
  And
• 20:26
  I.
• 20:26
  This
• 20:27
  is
• 20:27
  the
• 20:27
  part
• 20:27
  that,
• 20:28
  again,
• 20:29
  I
• 20:30
  might
• 20:30
  be
• 20:30
  assuming
• 20:30
  it's
• 20:31
  naughty
• 20:31
  versus
• 20:32
  actually
• 20:32
  it's
• 20:32
  neurological.
• 20:33
  Yeah.
• 20:34
  And
• 20:35
  I
• 20:35
  think
• 20:35
  these
• 20:35
  triggers
• 20:36
  that
• 20:36
  we
• 20:36
  have
• 20:38
  are
• 20:38
  important
• 20:39
  to
• 20:39
  know.
• 20:40
  So
• 20:40
  I
• 20:40
  did.
• 20:40
  When
• 20:41
  I
• 20:41
  first
• 20:41
  started
• 20:42
  to
• 20:42
  realize
• 20:43
  the
• 20:43
  morning
• 20:43
  routine
• 20:44
  was
• 20:44
  really
• 20:44
  getting
• 20:45
  difficult
• 20:45
  for
• 20:45
  me,
• 20:45
  and
• 20:46
  I
• 20:46
  was
• 20:47
  stressing
• 20:48
  out
• 20:48
  and
• 20:48
  I
• 20:48
  was
• 20:49
  reacting
• 20:50
  instead
• 20:50
  of
• 20:50
  responding
• 20:51
  during
• 20:51
  these
• 20:52
  moments,
• 20:52
  I
• 20:52
  had
• 20:52
  to
• 20:53
  slow
• 20:53
  down
• 20:53
  and
• 20:53
  figure
• 20:53
  out,
• 20:54
  like,
• 20:54
  what
• 20:54
  were
• 20:54
  the
• 20:54
  components
• 20:55
  that
• 20:55
  were
• 20:55
  hard.
• 20:56
  And
• 20:56
  I
• 20:56
  actually
• 20:56
  had
• 20:56
  to
• 20:57
  ask
• 20:57
  our
• 20:57
  mom,
• 20:57
  because
• 20:58
  we
• 20:58
  all
• 20:58
  live
• 20:58
  together.
• 20:59
  I
• 20:59
  actually
• 20:59
  had
• 21:00
  to
• 21:00
  ask
• 21:00
  her
• 21:00
  to
• 21:01
  kind
• 21:01
  of,
• 21:01
  could
• 21:01
  you
• 21:01
  not
• 21:02
  come
• 21:02
  out
• 21:03
  during
• 21:04
  that
• 21:04
  time?
• 21:05
  Because
• 21:06
  I'm
• 21:06
  struggling
• 21:06
  with
• 21:07
  just
• 21:08
  getting
• 21:08
  him
• 21:08
  through
• 21:09
  things
• 21:09
  and
• 21:10
  you
• 21:10
  coming
• 21:10
  in
• 21:10
  and
• 21:11
  asking
• 21:11
  a
• 21:11
  question
• 21:12
  just
• 21:12
  sometimes
• 21:13
  would,
• 21:13
  like,
• 21:13
  completely
• 21:14
  derail
• 21:14
  whatever
• 21:15
  it
• 21:15
  was
• 21:15
  I
• 21:16
  had
• 21:16
  wanted
• 21:16
  to
• 21:17
  do.
• 21:17
  And
• 21:18
  over
• 21:18
  time,
• 21:19
  I've
• 21:19
  been
• 21:19
  able
• 21:19
  to
• 21:20
  incorporate
• 21:21
  her
• 21:21
  back
• 21:21
  in
• 21:22
  to
• 21:23
  the
• 21:23
  morning
• 21:23
  routine
• 21:24
  as
• 21:24
  I've
• 21:25
  feel
• 21:25
  healthier
• 21:26
  also,
• 21:26
  like,
• 21:26
  there's
• 21:27
  a
• 21:27
  bunch
• 21:27
  of
• 21:27
  pieces
• 21:27
  of
• 21:28
  that.
• 21:28
  But
• 21:28
  I
• 21:28
  was
• 21:28
  like,
• 21:28
  I'm
• 21:29
  losing
• 21:29
  it
• 21:29
  with
• 21:30
  him.
• 21:31
  And
• 21:31
  that's
• 21:31
  making
• 21:32
  mornings
• 21:32
  really
• 21:32
  stressful.
• 21:33
  So
• 21:33
  I
• 21:33
  had
• 21:33
  to
• 21:34
  change
• 21:34
  up
• 21:34
  some
• 21:34
  things.
• 21:35
  And
• 21:35
  then
• 21:35
  I
• 21:35
  also
• 21:35
  had
• 21:35
  to
• 21:36
  kind
• 21:36
  of
• 21:36
  be
• 21:36
  like,
• 21:36
  okay,
• 21:37
  we
• 21:37
  have
• 21:37
  to
• 21:37
  get
• 21:37
  stuff
• 21:37
  ready
• 21:38
  the
• 21:38
  night
• 21:38
  before
• 21:38
  a
• 21:38
  little
• 21:39
  bit.
• 21:39
  Or
• 21:39
  I
• 21:40
  had
• 21:40
  to
• 21:40
  get
• 21:40
  my
• 21:40
  stuff
• 21:41
  ready
• 21:41
  at
• 21:41
  least
• 21:41
  the
• 21:41
  night
• 21:42
  before.
• 21:42
  I
• 21:42
  had
• 21:42
  to
• 21:42
  go
• 21:42
  find
• 21:43
  his
• 21:43
  shoes
• 21:43
  or
• 21:43
  whatever
• 21:44
  it
• 21:44
  was
• 21:44
  when
• 21:44
  he
• 21:44
  was
• 21:44
  real
• 21:45
  little,
• 21:45
  just
• 21:46
  to
• 21:46
  make
• 21:46
  sure
• 21:46
  that,
• 21:46
  like,
• 21:47
  okay,
• 21:47
  we've
• 21:47
  got
• 21:47
  a
• 21:47
  little
• 21:47
  entryway.
• 21:48
  I'm
• 21:48
  going
• 21:48
  to
• 21:49
  put
• 21:49
  a
• 21:49
  place
• 21:49
  where
• 21:49
  our
• 21:49
  shoes
• 21:50
  go
• 21:50
  and
• 21:50
  our
• 21:50
  bags
• 21:51
  go,
• 21:51
  so
• 21:51
  I
• 21:51
  know
• 21:51
  it's
• 21:51
  there.
• 21:52
  Right.
• 21:52
  Or
• 21:52
  whatever
• 21:52
  it
• 21:53
  was.
• 21:53
  But
• 21:54
  I
• 21:54
  had
• 21:54
  to
• 21:55
  really
• 21:55
  think
• 21:55
  through
• 21:55
  the
• 21:56
  friction
• 21:57
  of
• 21:57
  that
• 21:58
  morning,
• 21:59
  and
• 22:00
  I'm
• 22:00
  glad
• 22:00
  I
• 22:01
  didn't
• 22:01
  have
• 22:01
  the
• 22:01
  parent
• 22:02
  portal
• 22:03
  when
• 22:03
  he
• 22:03
  was
• 22:04
  little,
• 22:05
  honestly.
• 22:05
  But
• 22:07
  in
• 22:07
  high
• 22:07
  school
• 22:08
  I
• 22:08
  remember,
• 22:09
  you
• 22:09
  know,
• 22:09
  and
• 22:09
  he's
• 22:09
  just
• 22:10
  finishing
• 22:10
  up
• 22:10
  now,
• 22:11
  that
• 22:12
  I
• 22:12
  kind
• 22:12
  of
• 22:12
  came
• 22:13
  to
• 22:14
  a
• 22:14
  place
• 22:14
  with
• 22:14
  him
• 22:14
  where
• 22:15
  I
• 22:15
  said,
• 22:15
  listen,
• 22:16
  I'm
• 22:16
  only
• 22:17
  going
• 22:17
  to
• 22:17
  look
• 22:17
  at
• 22:17
  it
• 22:17
  once
• 22:18
  a
• 22:18
  week
• 22:18
  and
• 22:18
  we're
• 22:18
  going
• 22:18
  to
• 22:18
  look
• 22:19
  at
• 22:19
  it
• 22:19
  together
• 22:20
  and
• 22:20
  let's
• 22:20
  look
• 22:20
  at
• 22:20
  it
• 22:20
  on
• 22:21
  Thursdays
• 22:21
  together.
• 22:21
  So
• 22:22
  we
• 22:22
  know
• 22:22
  if
• 22:22
  you
• 22:22
  need
• 22:22
  to
• 22:22
  go
• 22:23
  in
• 22:23
  Friday
• 22:24
  and
• 22:24
  morning
• 22:25
  early.
• 22:25
  And
• 22:25
  so
• 22:26
  we
• 22:26
  sort
• 22:26
  of
• 22:26
  made
• 22:27
  some
• 22:28
  decisions
• 22:29
  together
• 22:30
  as
• 22:31
  he
• 22:31
  was
• 22:31
  able
• 22:31
  to.
• 22:32
  And
• 22:33
  that
• 22:33
  I
• 22:33
  think
• 22:33
  helped
• 22:34
  a
• 22:34
  little
• 22:34
  bit
• 22:34
  more.
• 22:35
  I
• 22:35
  can't
• 22:35
  say
• 22:35
  I
• 22:36
  was
• 22:36
  completely
• 22:36
  consistent
• 22:37
  with
• 22:37
  that
• 22:37
  either
• 22:39
  because
• 22:39
  there
• 22:40
  were
• 22:40
  notices
• 22:40
  I
• 22:40
  would
• 22:41
  get
• 22:41
  in
• 22:41
  an
• 22:41
  email
• 22:41
  or
• 22:42
  something,
• 22:42
  right?
• 22:42
  And
• 22:42
  then
• 22:43
  I
• 22:43
  would
• 22:43
  go
• 22:43
  look.
• 22:43
  But
• 22:43
  I
• 22:44
  mean,
• 22:44
  most
• 22:44
  of
• 22:44
  the
• 22:44
  time
• 22:44
  that's
• 22:44
  what
• 22:44
  I
• 22:45
  tried
• 22:45
  to
• 22:45
  do
• 22:45
  is
• 22:45
  his
• 22:46
  junior
• 22:47
  year
• 22:48
  and
• 22:48
  still
• 22:49
  I
• 22:49
  know
• 22:49
  there'll
• 22:50
  be
• 22:50
  parents
• 22:50
  going
• 22:50
  like,
• 22:51
  you
• 22:51
  were
• 22:51
  still
• 22:51
  looking
• 22:51
  at
• 22:51
  his
• 22:52
  grades
• 22:52
  his
• 22:52
  junior
• 22:53
  year.
• 22:53
  And
• 22:53
  I'm
• 22:53
  like,
• 22:53
  yes,
• 22:54
  I
• 22:54
  was.
• 22:55
  Yes,
• 22:55
  I
• 22:56
  was.
• 22:56
  Because
• 22:56
  I
• 22:57
  knew
• 22:57
  him
• 22:58
  to
• 22:58
  know
• 22:59
  that
• 22:59
  he
• 22:59
  would
• 23:00
  get
• 23:01
  derailed
• 23:02
  very
• 23:02
  quickly
• 23:04
  oftentimes.
• 23:04
  And
• 23:05
  it
• 23:05
  was
• 23:05
  amazing.
• 23:06
  It's
• 23:07
  amazing
• 23:07
  how
• 23:07
  quickly
• 23:08
  it
• 23:08
  happens.
• 23:09
  And
• 23:10
  I
• 23:10
  just
• 23:10
  think
• 23:11
  for
• 23:11
  any
• 23:11
  teacher
• 23:12
  out
• 23:12
  there
• 23:13
  listening,
• 23:13
  if
• 23:14
  you
• 23:14
  have
• 23:14
  like
• 23:14
  only
• 23:15
  two
• 23:15
  assignments
• 23:17
  at
• 23:17
  the
• 23:17
  beginning
• 23:17
  of
• 23:17
  the
• 23:17
  semester
• 23:18
  and
• 23:18
  all
• 23:18
  your
• 23:18
  assignments
• 23:19
  are
• 23:19
  at
• 23:19
  the
• 23:19
  end
• 23:19
  and
• 23:19
  the
• 23:19
  kid
• 23:20
  can't
• 23:20
  raise
• 23:21
  their
• 23:21
  grade,
• 23:23
  it
• 23:24
  just
• 23:24
  think
• 23:24
  about
• 23:24
  that
• 23:25
  a
• 23:25
  little
• 23:25
  bit.
• 23:25
  Because
• 23:25
  that
• 23:26
  is.
• 23:26
  I
• 23:26
  mean,
• 23:28
  it's
• 23:29
  torture
• 23:29
  to
• 23:30
  watch
• 23:30
  him
• 23:30
  to
• 23:30
  be
• 23:30
  at
• 23:31
  a
• 23:31
  D
• 23:31
  for
• 23:31
  the
• 23:32
  whole
• 23:32
  semester
• 23:32
  until
• 23:33
  the
• 23:33
  very
• 23:33
  end
• 23:33
  when
• 23:34
  he
• 23:34
  could
• 23:34
  finally,
• 23:35
  you
• 23:35
  know.
• 23:35
  And
• 23:35
  I
• 23:35
  always
• 23:35
  tell
• 23:36
  him,
• 23:36
  I'm
• 23:36
  like,
• 23:36
  your
• 23:36
  grades
• 23:37
  look
• 23:37
  amazing
• 23:38
  in
• 23:38
  your
• 23:38
  transcripts.
• 23:39
  But,
• 23:39
  man,
• 23:39
  it
• 23:40
  didn't
• 23:40
  feel
• 23:40
  that
• 23:40
  way
• 23:40
  going
• 23:41
  through
• 23:41
  it
• 23:41
  with
• 23:41
  you.
• 23:41
  It
• 23:42
  was
• 23:42
  like
• 23:42
  up
• 23:43
  and
• 23:43
  down
• 23:43
  and
• 23:43
  up
• 23:43
  and
• 23:43
  down
• 23:43
  and
• 23:44
  up
• 23:44
  and
• 23:44
  down.
• 23:44
  Because
• 23:45
  one
• 23:45
  week
• 23:45
  his
• 23:46
  brain
• 23:46
  was
• 23:46
  like
• 23:46
  really
• 23:46
  on
• 23:47
  it
• 23:47
  and
• 23:47
  wanted
• 23:47
  to
• 23:48
  do
• 23:48
  everything.
• 23:48
  And
• 23:48
  the
• 23:49
  next
• 23:49
  week,
• 23:49
  sometimes,
• 23:50
  or
• 23:50
  sometimes
• 23:51
  one
• 23:51
  day
• 23:51
  and
• 23:51
  the
• 23:51
  other
• 23:51
  day,
• 23:52
  no.
• 23:52
  And
• 23:52
  he
• 23:52
  didn't.
• 23:53
  He.
• 23:53
  You
• 23:53
  say
• 23:53
  this
• 23:54
  a
• 23:54
  lot,
• 23:54
  but
• 23:54
  I
• 23:54
  think
• 23:54
  it's
• 23:55
  true
• 23:55
  for
• 23:55
  him
• 23:55
  too.
• 23:55
  Like,
• 23:56
  you
• 23:56
  don't
• 23:56
  know
• 23:57
  what
• 23:57
  brain
• 23:57
  you're
• 23:57
  going
• 23:57
  to
• 23:57
  wake
• 23:58
  up
• 23:58
  with,
• 23:58
  right?
• 23:59
  And
• 23:59
  like,
• 23:59
  that
• 23:59
  would
• 23:59
  always
• 24:00
  be
• 24:00
  the
• 24:00
  most
• 24:00
  stressful
• 24:00
  thing
• 24:00
  is
• 24:01
  like,
• 24:01
  I
• 24:01
  might
• 24:01
  have
• 24:01
  a
• 24:02
  test
• 24:03
  and
• 24:03
  I
• 24:04
  did
• 24:04
  not
• 24:04
  wake
• 24:04
  up
• 24:04
  with
• 24:05
  a
• 24:05
  brain
• 24:05
  that
• 24:05
  I
• 24:06
  had
• 24:06
  the
• 24:06
  day
• 24:06
  before
• 24:06
  where
• 24:07
  I
• 24:07
  was
• 24:07
  feeling
• 24:08
  good
• 24:08
  about
• 24:08
  the
• 24:08
  test.
• 24:08
  And
• 24:08
  then
• 24:09
  I
• 24:09
  wake
• 24:09
  up
• 24:09
  and
• 24:09
  it's
• 24:09
  just
• 24:09
  like,
• 24:10
  oh,
• 24:11
  it's
• 24:11
  awful.
• 24:12
  I.
• 24:13
  I'm
• 24:14
  talking
• 24:14
  about
• 24:14
  this.
• 24:14
  I.
• 24:15
  I
• 24:15
  keep
• 24:15
  going
• 24:15
  back
• 24:16
  to
• 24:16
  like
• 24:16
  a
• 24:16
  conversation
• 24:17
  we
• 24:17
  had
• 24:17
  with
• 24:17
  our
• 24:17
  family
• 24:17
  therapist
• 24:19
  because
• 24:19
  she
• 24:19
  always
• 24:20
  asks
• 24:20
  us,
• 24:20
  like,
• 24:20
  whenever
• 24:20
  there's
• 24:21
  a
• 24:21
  trigger
• 24:21
  or
• 24:21
  there's
• 24:22
  a
• 24:22
  challenge
• 24:22
  between
• 24:23
  Brian
• 24:23
  and
• 24:23
  I.
• 24:23
  She
• 24:24
  says,
• 24:25
  what
• 24:25
  is.
• 24:26
  Like,
• 24:26
  what
• 24:27
  are
• 24:27
  your.
• 24:27
  Your.
• 24:28
  Your
• 24:28
  values?
• 24:30
  You
• 24:30
  know,
• 24:30
  like,
• 24:30
  what.
• 24:30
  What
• 24:31
  are
• 24:31
  the
• 24:31
  values
• 24:31
  that
• 24:31
  the
• 24:32
  two
• 24:32
  of
• 24:32
  you
• 24:32
  have?
• 24:32
  Because
• 24:33
  you
• 24:34
  guys
• 24:34
  might
• 24:34
  both
• 24:34
  have
• 24:34
  the
• 24:35
  same
• 24:35
  value,
• 24:35
  but
• 24:36
  then
• 24:36
  you're.
• 24:37
  You're
• 24:37
  just
• 24:37
  going
• 24:37
  about
• 24:38
  it
• 24:38
  differently
• 24:38
  and
• 24:38
  how
• 24:39
  you
• 24:39
  get
• 24:39
  to
• 24:39
  that
• 24:39
  value.
• 24:40
  And
• 24:41
  so,
• 24:41
  I
• 24:42
  mean,
• 24:42
  in
• 24:42
  my
• 24:42
  mind,
• 24:43
  it
• 24:43
  was
• 24:43
  like,
• 24:43
  okay,
• 24:43
  like,
• 24:44
  maybe
• 24:44
  it
• 24:44
  would
• 24:44
  be,
• 24:46
  let's
• 24:46
  figure
• 24:46
  out,
• 24:46
  like,
• 24:49
  what's
• 24:50
  the
• 24:50
  goal?
• 24:50
  You
• 24:51
  know,
• 24:51
  what
• 24:51
  are
• 24:51
  our
• 24:51
  values?
• 24:51
  And,
• 24:52
  like,
• 24:52
  what
• 24:52
  do
• 24:52
  we
• 24:52
  care
• 24:52
  about?
• 24:52
  Like,
• 24:53
  what
• 24:53
  do
• 24:53
  we
• 24:53
  want
• 24:53
  to
• 24:53
  teach
• 24:54
  right
• 24:54
  now?
• 24:55
  And
• 24:55
  then
• 24:56
  take
• 24:56
  it
• 24:56
  from
• 24:57
  that
• 24:57
  lens.
• 24:58
  That's
• 24:58
  the
• 24:58
  only
• 24:58
  thing
• 24:59
  that
• 24:59
  I'm
• 24:59
  thinking
• 24:59
  about.
• 25:01
  Yeah,
• 25:02
  I
• 25:02
  mean,
• 25:02
  I
• 25:02
  think
• 25:02
  that
• 25:02
  is
• 25:03
  really
• 25:03
  important.
• 25:04
  And
• 25:04
  I
• 25:05
  think
• 25:05
  she
• 25:05
  said
• 25:05
  that
• 25:05
  somewhere
• 25:06
  earlier
• 25:06
  in
• 25:06
  the
• 25:06
  book
• 25:06
  of,
• 25:07
  like,
• 25:07
  you
• 25:07
  know,
• 25:07
  what
• 25:07
  are.
• 25:08
  First
• 25:08
  of
• 25:08
  all,
• 25:08
  what
• 25:08
  are
• 25:08
  you
• 25:09
  taking
• 25:09
  aim
• 25:09
  at?
• 25:10
  What's
• 25:10
  important,
• 25:10
  but
• 25:11
  also,
• 25:11
  what
• 25:12
  are
• 25:12
  you
• 25:12
  trying
• 25:12
  to
• 25:12
  teach
• 25:13
  your
• 25:13
  kids?
• 25:13
  What
• 25:14
  do
• 25:14
  you
• 25:14
  think
• 25:14
  is
• 25:14
  most
• 25:14
  important
• 25:15
  in
• 25:15
  the
• 25:15
  end?
• 25:15
  I
• 25:15
  think
• 25:16
  that
• 25:16
  completely
• 25:17
  checks
• 25:17
  in
• 25:18
  this
• 25:18
  situation.
• 25:19
  I
• 25:19
  wonder.
• 25:22
  The
• 25:23
  idea
• 25:23
  she
• 25:23
  says
• 25:24
  in
• 25:24
  this
• 25:24
  chapter
• 25:25
  is
• 25:25
  you
• 25:25
  can't
• 25:25
  stop
• 25:26
  from
• 25:26
  being
• 25:27
  triggered,
• 25:28
  but
• 25:28
  you
• 25:28
  can
• 25:29
  lower
• 25:29
  the
• 25:29
  intensity
• 25:30
  and
• 25:30
  the
• 25:30
  frequency
• 25:30
  potentially
• 25:32
  in
• 25:32
  helping
• 25:32
  your
• 25:32
  kids.
• 25:34
  And
• 25:34
  I
• 25:34
  was
• 25:34
  sort
• 25:35
  of
• 25:35
  thinking,
• 25:35
  but
• 25:35
  how
• 25:36
  do
• 25:36
  you
• 25:36
  do
• 25:36
  it?
• 25:37
  How
• 25:37
  do
• 25:37
  you
• 25:37
  operationalize
• 25:38
  that?
• 25:39
  And
• 25:39
  one
• 25:40
  thing
• 25:40
  she
• 25:40
  suggested,
• 25:41
  which
• 25:41
  I
• 25:41
  thought
• 25:41
  was
• 25:41
  nice,
• 25:41
  is
• 25:42
  establishing
• 25:43
  that
• 25:43
  everyone's
• 25:44
  gonna
• 25:44
  lose
• 25:44
  it
• 25:45
  sometimes
• 25:47
  and
• 25:47
  that
• 25:47
  our
• 25:47
  goal
• 25:48
  is
• 25:48
  that
• 25:48
  we're
• 25:48
  helping
• 25:49
  each
• 25:49
  other
• 25:49
  to
• 25:49
  figure
• 25:50
  out
• 25:50
  how
• 25:50
  to
• 25:51
  de.
• 25:51
  Escalate
• 25:52
  these
• 25:52
  things
• 25:52
  when
• 25:52
  they
• 25:53
  happen.
• 25:54
  And
• 25:55
  I
• 25:55
  liked
• 25:55
  that
• 25:55
  idea.
• 25:55
  She
• 25:56
  said,
• 25:56
  thinking
• 25:56
  of
• 25:56
  it
• 25:57
  like
• 25:57
  a
• 25:57
  partnership
• 25:58
  as
• 25:58
  opposed
• 25:58
  to
• 25:58
  you
• 25:59
  against
• 25:59
  them
• 26:00
  or
• 26:00
  you
• 26:01
  against
• 26:01
  yourself
• 26:01
  even,
• 26:02
  maybe.
• 26:03
  But
• 26:03
  this
• 26:03
  idea
• 26:04
  that
• 26:04
  somehow
• 26:05
  that
• 26:05
  normalizing,
• 26:06
  that,
• 26:06
  you
• 26:07
  know,
• 26:07
  reacting
• 26:07
  is
• 26:08
  going
• 26:08
  to
• 26:08
  happen,
• 26:09
  but
• 26:10
  we
• 26:10
  want
• 26:11
  to
• 26:11
  work
• 26:11
  towards
• 26:11
  responding.
• 26:12
  And
• 26:13
  her
• 26:13
  reason
• 26:13
  for
• 26:13
  this
• 26:14
  was
• 26:14
  that
• 26:14
  she
• 26:15
  quoted
• 26:16
  Dr.
• 26:16
  Russell
• 26:17
  Barclay,
• 26:17
  who,
• 26:17
  we
• 26:17
  have
• 26:18
  read
• 26:18
  one
• 26:18
  of
• 26:18
  his
• 26:18
  books,
• 26:19
  but
• 26:20
  that
• 26:20
  adults
• 26:21
  with
• 26:21
  ADHD
• 26:21
  are
• 26:22
  more
• 26:22
  likely
• 26:22
  to
• 26:22
  lose
• 26:23
  jobs
• 26:23
  for
• 26:23
  losing
• 26:24
  their
• 26:24
  temper
• 26:26
  than
• 26:26
  not
• 26:26
  turning
• 26:27
  in
• 26:27
  a
• 26:27
  project.
• 26:28
  And
• 26:29
  I
• 26:29
  thought,
• 26:30
  so.
• 26:30
  That's
• 26:30
  interesting.
• 26:31
  It's
• 26:31
  like
• 26:31
  one
• 26:31
  of
• 26:32
  the
• 26:32
  best
• 26:32
  life
• 26:32
  skills
• 26:33
  you
• 26:33
  could
• 26:33
  teach
• 26:34
  your
• 26:34
  kids
• 26:35
  is
• 26:35
  figuring
• 26:35
  out
• 26:35
  how
• 26:36
  to
• 26:36
  respond
• 26:36
  as
• 26:36
  opposed
• 26:37
  to
• 26:37
  react.
• 26:38
  Yeah.
• 26:39
  And
• 26:39
  I
• 26:39
  feel
• 26:39
  like
• 26:39
  you
• 26:40
  did
• 26:40
  work
• 26:40
  with
• 26:40
  that
• 26:40
  with
• 26:41
  the
• 26:41
  vets,
• 26:41
  and
• 26:41
  you
• 26:42
  guys
• 26:42
  kind
• 26:42
  of
• 26:42
  had
• 26:42
  like
• 26:42
  a.
• 26:43
  What
• 26:43
  was
• 26:43
  it,
• 26:43
  an
• 26:43
  ABC
• 26:44
  or
• 26:44
  something?
• 26:44
  You
• 26:45
  had
• 26:45
  some
• 26:45
  sort
• 26:45
  of
• 26:46
  way
• 26:47
  of
• 26:47
  thinking
• 26:47
  of
• 26:47
  it.
• 26:48
  Yeah,
• 26:48
  like,
• 26:48
  we,
• 26:48
  you
• 26:49
  know,
• 26:49
  we.
• 26:49
  I
• 26:50
  was
• 26:50
  a
• 26:50
  resilience
• 26:50
  trainer
• 26:51
  for
• 26:51
  both
• 26:52
  veterans
• 26:52
  and
• 26:52
  for
• 26:53
  their
• 26:53
  families.
• 26:54
  And
• 26:55
  they
• 26:55
  talked
• 26:56
  about
• 26:56
  this,
• 26:56
  like,
• 26:56
  ABC
• 26:57
  model.
• 26:57
  And
• 26:59
  the
• 26:59
  whole
• 26:59
  idea
• 27:00
  is
• 27:00
  like,
• 27:00
  how.
• 27:00
  It's
• 27:01
  like,
• 27:01
  you're
• 27:01
  gonna
• 27:02
  have
• 27:02
  a
• 27:02
  reaction,
• 27:03
  right,
• 27:03
  to
• 27:03
  any
• 27:04
  conflict
• 27:04
  or
• 27:04
  situation
• 27:05
  in
• 27:05
  life.
• 27:05
  You're
• 27:06
  gonna
• 27:06
  have
• 27:06
  an
• 27:06
  automatic
• 27:07
  response
• 27:07
  and
• 27:08
  you
• 27:08
  can't
• 27:08
  control
• 27:09
  that.
• 27:09
  Right?
• 27:09
  Like
• 27:09
  if
• 27:09
  some,
• 27:10
  if
• 27:10
  a
• 27:10
  doctor
• 27:10
  hits
• 27:11
  you
• 27:11
  on
• 27:11
  the
• 27:11
  knee,
• 27:12
  there
• 27:12
  are
• 27:12
  certain
• 27:12
  reflexes
• 27:13
  that
• 27:13
  you
• 27:13
  can't
• 27:14
  control.
• 27:15
  Right.
• 27:15
  But
• 27:15
  what
• 27:16
  you,
• 27:16
  but
• 27:16
  you
• 27:16
  do
• 27:17
  have
• 27:17
  control
• 27:17
  over
• 27:18
  your
• 27:18
  second
• 27:18
  thought.
• 27:19
  So
• 27:19
  the
• 27:19
  first
• 27:19
  thought,
• 27:20
  you
• 27:20
  don't
• 27:20
  control
• 27:20
  over
• 27:20
  with
• 27:20
  the
• 27:21
  second
• 27:21
  thought,
• 27:21
  you
• 27:21
  do.
• 27:21
  And
• 27:21
  so
• 27:21
  the
• 27:22
  ABC
• 27:22
  model
• 27:22
  was
• 27:23
  really
• 27:23
  about,
• 27:23
  like,
• 27:23
  how
• 27:23
  do
• 27:23
  you,
• 27:24
  how
• 27:24
  do
• 27:24
  you
• 27:25
  take.
• 27:25
  How
• 27:25
  do
• 27:25
  you.
• 27:25
  What.
• 27:26
  What
• 27:26
  happens
• 27:26
  in
• 27:26
  between
• 27:26
  that
• 27:27
  first
• 27:27
  and
• 27:27
  the
• 27:27
  second
• 27:27
  thought?
• 27:29
  Because
• 27:29
  if
• 27:29
  I
• 27:29
  don't
• 27:30
  have
• 27:30
  control
• 27:30
  over
• 27:30
  the
• 27:30
  first
• 27:31
  thought,
• 27:31
  okay,
• 27:31
  fine,
• 27:31
  I
• 27:32
  do
• 27:32
  this
• 27:32
  ABC
• 27:32
  thing
• 27:33
  where
• 27:33
  I,
• 27:33
  I
• 27:33
  look
• 27:34
  at
• 27:34
  like,
• 27:34
  okay,
• 27:34
  A
• 27:34
  is
• 27:35
  for
• 27:35
  like
• 27:35
  the
• 27:35
  activating
• 27:36
  event.
• 27:36
  So
• 27:36
  we're
• 27:36
  gonna
• 27:36
  figure
• 27:37
  out
• 27:37
  like
• 27:37
  what
• 27:37
  triggered
• 27:37
  us
• 27:38
  and
• 27:38
  then,
• 27:39
  you
• 27:39
  know,
• 27:39
  we're
• 27:39
  gonna
• 27:40
  like,
• 27:40
  then
• 27:40
  B,
• 27:40
  look
• 27:41
  at
• 27:41
  the
• 27:41
  beliefs.
• 27:41
  So
• 27:42
  that
• 27:42
  trigger.
• 27:42
  What
• 27:42
  is,
• 27:43
  what
• 27:43
  is
• 27:43
  that
• 27:43
  triggering
• 27:43
  our
• 27:44
  thoughts?
• 27:44
  Because
• 27:44
  obviously,
• 27:44
  like
• 27:45
  whenever
• 27:45
  you
• 27:45
  trigger
• 27:46
  something,
• 27:46
  it's
• 27:47
  usually
• 27:47
  there's
• 27:47
  going
• 27:47
  to
• 27:47
  be
• 27:48
  some
• 27:48
  thought
• 27:48
  process
• 27:48
  behind
• 27:49
  it,
• 27:49
  some
• 27:50
  thing
• 27:50
  that
• 27:51
  you
• 27:51
  know
• 27:51
  that
• 27:52
  you're
• 27:52
  going
• 27:52
  to
• 27:52
  go
• 27:52
  down
• 27:53
  and
• 27:53
  you're
• 27:53
  going
• 27:53
  to
• 27:53
  interpret
• 27:54
  it
• 27:54
  a
• 27:54
  certain
• 27:54
  way.
• 27:55
  So
• 27:55
  like
• 27:55
  the
• 27:55
  parent
• 27:56
  portal,
• 27:56
  if
• 27:56
  we
• 27:56
  take
• 27:57
  that
• 27:57
  as
• 27:57
  an
• 27:57
  example
• 27:58
  real
• 27:58
  quick,
• 27:58
  like
• 27:59
  the
• 27:59
  trigger
• 27:59
  is
• 28:00
  the
• 28:00
  looking
• 28:00
  at
• 28:01
  the
• 28:01
  grades
• 28:01
  or
• 28:01
  what
• 28:02
  the
• 28:02
  kid
• 28:03
  missed
• 28:04
  might
• 28:04
  be
• 28:04
  there.
• 28:05
  And
• 28:05
  then
• 28:06
  what's
• 28:06
  the
• 28:06
  B.
• 28:06
  What's
• 28:07
  the
• 28:07
  belief
• 28:07
  about
• 28:08
  when
• 28:09
  you
• 28:09
  see
• 28:09
  that
• 28:09
  missed
• 28:10
  assignment?
• 28:10
  What's
• 28:10
  the
• 28:10
  belief.
• 28:11
  What's
• 28:12
  the
• 28:12
  interpretation
• 28:12
  of
• 28:13
  me
• 28:13
  as
• 28:13
  a
• 28:13
  parent
• 28:13
  didn't
• 28:14
  do
• 28:14
  as
• 28:14
  much
• 28:14
  as
• 28:14
  I
• 28:14
  was
• 28:14
  supposed
• 28:15
  to
• 28:15
  do
• 28:15
  or
• 28:16
  the
• 28:16
  kid
• 28:17
  is
• 28:17
  a
• 28:17
  certain
• 28:17
  way
• 28:17
  or
• 28:18
  whatever.
• 28:18
  Yeah,
• 28:18
  okay.
• 28:19
  Yeah.
• 28:19
  So
• 28:19
  like
• 28:19
  the
• 28:20
  interpretation
• 28:20
  of.
• 28:21
  Or
• 28:21
  the
• 28:21
  appraisal
• 28:22
  of
• 28:22
  the
• 28:22
  event
• 28:22
  is
• 28:22
  that,
• 28:22
  oh,
• 28:23
  my
• 28:23
  kid.
• 28:23
  So
• 28:23
  I
• 28:23
  think
• 28:23
  it's
• 28:23
  like,
• 28:24
  actually
• 28:24
  you
• 28:24
  wouldn't
• 28:24
  try
• 28:25
  to
• 28:25
  see
• 28:25
  which
• 28:25
  is
• 28:25
  consequences.
• 28:27
  So
• 28:27
  the
• 28:27
  B,
• 28:28
  the
• 28:28
  belief
• 28:28
  is
• 28:28
  like,
• 28:28
  okay,
• 28:29
  the
• 28:29
  trigger
• 28:29
  is.
• 28:29
  I'm
• 28:30
  looking
• 28:30
  at
• 28:30
  the,
• 28:31
  at
• 28:31
  the
• 28:31
  portal.
• 28:32
  The
• 28:32
  belief
• 28:33
  is
• 28:33
  that
• 28:33
  oh,
• 28:33
  my
• 28:34
  kid
• 28:34
  didn't
• 28:35
  finish
• 28:35
  their
• 28:35
  assignment
• 28:37
  or
• 28:37
  that's
• 28:37
  the
• 28:37
  appraisal
• 28:38
  of
• 28:38
  the
• 28:38
  event.
• 28:38
  And
• 28:38
  then
• 28:39
  to
• 28:39
  see
• 28:40
  the
• 28:40
  consequences
• 28:40
  that
• 28:41
  I
• 28:41
  am
• 28:41
  now
• 28:42
  a
• 28:42
  bad
• 28:42
  parent
• 28:42
  because
• 28:43
  I
• 28:43
  didn't
• 28:43
  help
• 28:43
  my
• 28:43
  kid
• 28:43
  out
• 28:44
  or
• 28:44
  my
• 28:44
  kid's
• 28:44
  not
• 28:45
  going
• 28:45
  to
• 28:45
  graduate
• 28:46
  or
• 28:46
  my
• 28:46
  kid
• 28:46
  is,
• 28:46
  you
• 28:47
  know,
• 28:47
  there's
• 28:47
  all
• 28:47
  these
• 28:47
  different
• 28:48
  feelings
• 28:48
  and
• 28:48
  emotions.
• 28:49
  Whatever
• 28:50
  behavior
• 28:50
  that's
• 28:51
  going
• 28:51
  to
• 28:51
  result
• 28:51
  from
• 28:51
  those
• 28:51
  beliefs
• 28:53
  is,
• 28:53
  is
• 28:54
  now
• 28:54
  gonna,
• 28:54
  is
• 28:55
  now
• 28:55
  gonna
• 28:55
  come
• 28:55
  up.
• 28:55
  And
• 28:55
  so
• 28:56
  kind
• 28:56
  of
• 28:57
  working
• 28:57
  through
• 28:57
  that
• 28:57
  thing,
• 28:58
  it's
• 28:58
  really
• 28:58
  about
• 28:58
  slowing
• 28:59
  down.
• 29:00
  Like,
• 29:01
  so
• 29:01
  I
• 29:01
  think
• 29:01
  the
• 29:01
  thing
• 29:02
  is
• 29:02
  like,
• 29:02
  what,
• 29:03
  what
• 29:03
  I've
• 29:03
  kind
• 29:03
  of
• 29:03
  come
• 29:04
  to
• 29:04
  is
• 29:04
  like
• 29:04
  whenever,
• 29:05
  like
• 29:05
  understanding
• 29:06
  your
• 29:06
  triggers
• 29:07
  is
• 29:07
  really
• 29:07
  helpful
• 29:08
  because
• 29:08
  in
• 29:09
  those
• 29:09
  moments
• 29:09
  it's
• 29:10
  like
• 29:10
  if
• 29:10
  you
• 29:10
  feel
• 29:11
  yourself
• 29:11
  trick
• 29:11
  getting
• 29:12
  triggered,
• 29:13
  how
• 29:13
  do
• 29:13
  you
• 29:13
  just
• 29:13
  like
• 29:14
  take
• 29:14
  a
• 29:14
  second
• 29:15
  and
• 29:15
  just
• 29:15
  breathe
• 29:16
  and
• 29:16
  like,
• 29:16
  either
• 29:17
  remove
• 29:17
  yourself
• 29:17
  from
• 29:17
  the
• 29:17
  situation
• 29:18
  for
• 29:18
  a
• 29:18
  moment
• 29:19
  or,
• 29:19
  you
• 29:20
  know,
• 29:20
  like,
• 29:20
  for
• 29:20
  me,
• 29:21
  I
• 29:21
  literally,
• 29:21
  like,
• 29:21
  when
• 29:21
  I
• 29:22
  start
• 29:22
  to
• 29:22
  get
• 29:22
  triggered,
• 29:22
  like,
• 29:22
  I,
• 29:23
  like,
• 29:23
  start
• 29:23
  doing
• 29:24
  this,
• 29:24
  I,
• 29:24
  like,
• 29:24
  clasp
• 29:25
  my
• 29:25
  hands
• 29:26
  and
• 29:26
  I
• 29:26
  sit
• 29:27
  and
• 29:27
  I
• 29:28
  become
• 29:28
  very
• 29:28
  still
• 29:29
  and
• 29:29
  I
• 29:30
  breathe
• 29:30
  and
• 29:31
  I
• 29:31
  just,
• 29:31
  like,
• 29:31
  sit
• 29:31
  there
• 29:32
  in
• 29:32
  the
• 29:32
  moment
• 29:32
  and
• 29:32
  I'm
• 29:33
  like,
• 29:34
  you
• 29:34
  know,
• 29:35
  like,
• 29:35
  just
• 29:35
  feeling
• 29:36
  and
• 29:37
  thinking
• 29:37
  and
• 29:37
  like,
• 29:38
  recognizing
• 29:38
  like,
• 29:38
  okay,
• 29:39
  why
• 29:39
  am
• 29:39
  I
• 29:39
  tense?
• 29:40
  Like,
• 29:40
  you
• 29:40
  know,
• 29:40
  and
• 29:40
  it
• 29:40
  takes
• 29:41
  a
• 29:41
  while
• 29:41
  for
• 29:41
  me
• 29:41
  to
• 29:41
  kind
• 29:41
  of
• 29:42
  sometimes
• 29:42
  get
• 29:42
  out
• 29:43
  of
• 29:43
  that
• 29:44
  and.
• 29:45
  And
• 29:45
  then
• 29:46
  I'm
• 29:47
  able
• 29:47
  to
• 29:47
  kind
• 29:47
  of
• 29:47
  slow
• 29:47
  down
• 29:48
  a
• 29:48
  little
• 29:48
  bit
• 29:48
  more.
• 29:48
  But
• 29:49
  it's.
• 29:49
  It's
• 29:49
  really
• 29:49
  hard
• 29:50
  and
• 29:50
  it's
• 29:50
  like,
• 29:51
  it's
• 29:51
  really
• 29:51
  easy
• 29:52
  just
• 29:52
  to
• 29:52
  assume
• 29:52
  the
• 29:53
  worst.
• 29:53
  And
• 29:54
  that's,
• 29:54
  like,
• 29:54
  where
• 29:54
  I
• 29:54
  think
• 29:55
  our,
• 29:55
  like,
• 29:55
  our.
• 29:55
  We're.
• 29:55
  We're
• 29:56
  built
• 29:56
  to
• 29:56
  do
• 29:56
  that
• 29:56
  because,
• 29:56
  like,
• 29:57
  yeah,
• 29:57
  you
• 29:57
  want
• 29:57
  to
• 29:57
  make
• 29:57
  sure
• 29:57
  you
• 29:58
  don't
• 29:58
  die.
• 29:58
  Right.
• 29:58
  Evolutionarily,
• 29:59
  we
• 29:59
  were
• 29:59
  built
• 30:00
  that
• 30:00
  way
• 30:00
  so
• 30:00
  that
• 30:00
  we,
• 30:01
  you
• 30:01
  know,
• 30:02
  we
• 30:02
  don't
• 30:02
  eat
• 30:02
  that
• 30:02
  mushroom
• 30:03
  that
• 30:03
  Uncle
• 30:04
  Joe
• 30:05
  ate
• 30:05
  and
• 30:05
  died
• 30:06
  from
• 30:06
  it.
• 30:07
  Right.
• 30:07
  Like,
• 30:07
  we
• 30:08
  do
• 30:08
  kind
• 30:08
  of
• 30:08
  assume
• 30:09
  the
• 30:09
  worst
• 30:09
  in
• 30:09
  a
• 30:09
  lot
• 30:09
  of
• 30:10
  ways,
• 30:10
  but
• 30:10
  it
• 30:10
  doesn't
• 30:11
  really
• 30:11
  help
• 30:11
  us
• 30:11
  in
• 30:11
  this.
• 30:12
  This
• 30:12
  as
• 30:12
  modern
• 30:13
  world.
• 30:14
  Yeah.
• 30:14
  And
• 30:15
  I'm
• 30:15
  wondering
• 30:15
  too,
• 30:16
  like,
• 30:17
  that's
• 30:17
  so
• 30:17
  much
• 30:18
  harder
• 30:18
  to
• 30:18
  do
• 30:19
  without
• 30:19
  executive
• 30:20
  functioning
• 30:20
  skills.
• 30:21
  Right?
• 30:21
  So.
• 30:23
  Because
• 30:24
  the,
• 30:24
  The.
• 30:25
  The
• 30:26
  mean
• 30:26
  belief
• 30:27
  or
• 30:27
  whatever
• 30:27
  might
• 30:27
  be
• 30:28
  being
• 30:28
  said
• 30:28
  really
• 30:28
  loudly.
• 30:30
  Yeah.
• 30:31
  Yeah.
• 30:32
  Okay.
• 30:32
  Well,
• 30:32
  and.
• 30:32
  And
• 30:33
  that's
• 30:33
  why,
• 30:33
  like,
• 30:35
  that's
• 30:36
  why
• 30:36
  it's
• 30:36
  like,
• 30:36
  so
• 30:36
  much
• 30:36
  harder
• 30:37
  as,
• 30:37
  like,
• 30:37
  we're
• 30:38
  getting
• 30:38
  older.
• 30:39
  And
• 30:39
  the
• 30:39
  more
• 30:40
  things
• 30:40
  that,
• 30:40
  the
• 30:40
  more
• 30:40
  stuff
• 30:41
  that
• 30:41
  this
• 30:41
  piles
• 30:41
  on,
• 30:42
  the
• 30:42
  harder
• 30:42
  it
• 30:42
  gets.
• 30:44
  You
• 30:45
  know,
• 30:45
  my
• 30:45
  good
• 30:45
  friend,
• 30:46
  she
• 30:47
  just
• 30:47
  got,
• 30:47
  you
• 30:47
  know,
• 30:47
  she
• 30:47
  got
• 30:48
  her.
• 30:48
  Her
• 30:48
  son
• 30:49
  diagnosed
• 30:50
  and
• 30:50
  they
• 30:51
  just
• 30:51
  started
• 30:51
  medication.
• 30:53
  And,
• 30:53
  you
• 30:53
  know,
• 30:53
  he's
• 30:54
  been
• 30:54
  struggling
• 30:55
  because
• 30:55
  he's
• 30:55
  like,
• 30:55
  I.
• 30:55
  He
• 30:56
  knows
• 30:56
  that
• 30:56
  he's
• 30:56
  always
• 30:57
  in
• 30:57
  trouble.
• 30:58
  And
• 30:59
  so
• 30:59
  we
• 30:59
  were
• 30:59
  talking
• 31:00
  recently
• 31:00
  about,
• 31:00
  like,
• 31:00
  you
• 31:01
  know,
• 31:01
  he
• 31:01
  just
• 31:01
  started
• 31:01
  and
• 31:02
  like,
• 31:03
  she
• 31:03
  was
• 31:03
  asking
• 31:03
  if
• 31:03
  he
• 31:03
  felt
• 31:04
  any
• 31:04
  different,
• 31:04
  and
• 31:04
  he's
• 31:05
  like,
• 31:05
  you
• 31:05
  know,
• 31:05
  he's
• 31:06
  under
• 31:06
  10
• 31:06
  years
• 31:06
  old,
• 31:06
  so,
• 31:07
  like,
• 31:07
  he's
• 31:07
  not
• 31:07
  going
• 31:07
  to
• 31:07
  fully,
• 31:08
  I
• 31:08
  think
• 31:08
  not
• 31:09
  fully
• 31:09
  grasp
• 31:09
  it
• 31:09
  just
• 31:10
  yet.
• 31:10
  But
• 31:11
  also,
• 31:11
  like,
• 31:11
  I
• 31:12
  was
• 31:12
  thinking,
• 31:12
  like,
• 31:13
  it
• 31:14
  would
• 31:14
  probably
• 31:14
  be
• 31:14
  harder
• 31:15
  to
• 31:15
  know
• 31:16
  the
• 31:16
  difference
• 31:16
  because,
• 31:16
  like,
• 31:16
  it
• 31:17
  feels
• 31:17
  like
• 31:17
  as
• 31:17
  you
• 31:17
  get
• 31:18
  older,
• 31:18
  you
• 31:19
  have
• 31:19
  more
• 31:20
  executive
• 31:20
  functioning
• 31:21
  that's
• 31:21
  like,
• 31:22
  that's
• 31:22
  placed
• 31:22
  on
• 31:23
  you
• 31:24
  as
• 31:24
  you
• 31:24
  get
• 31:24
  more
• 31:24
  and
• 31:24
  more
• 31:25
  adult
• 31:25
  and
• 31:26
  like,
• 31:26
  as
• 31:26
  taxes
• 31:27
  come
• 31:27
  in
• 31:27
  and
• 31:28
  it's
• 31:28
  like,
• 31:28
  you
• 31:29
  know,
• 31:29
  bills
• 31:29
  and
• 31:30
  daily
• 31:30
  life
• 31:31
  and
• 31:31
  feeding
• 31:32
  yourself
• 31:32
  and
• 31:32
  all
• 31:32
  of
• 31:33
  these
• 31:33
  things
• 31:33
  that
• 31:33
  are
• 31:33
  executive
• 31:34
  functioning.
• 31:34
  Like,
• 31:34
  as
• 31:34
  they
• 31:35
  build
• 31:35
  up,
• 31:35
  they
• 31:35
  just,
• 31:36
  they.
• 31:36
  They
• 31:37
  cloud
• 31:37
  your
• 31:37
  mind
• 31:38
  and
• 31:38
  they,
• 31:39
  they.
• 31:40
  They
• 31:41
  make
• 31:41
  it
• 31:41
  so
• 31:41
  much
• 31:42
  harder
• 31:42
  to
• 31:42
  function
• 31:43
  and
• 31:43
  so,
• 31:43
  like,
• 31:44
  I
• 31:44
  think
• 31:44
  the
• 31:44
  more
• 31:45
  that
• 31:46
  we're
• 31:46
  able.
• 31:47
  That
• 31:47
  I'm
• 31:47
  able
• 31:47
  to,
• 31:48
  like,
• 31:49
  know
• 31:49
  my
• 31:49
  brain
• 31:50
  and.
• 31:50
  And
• 31:51
  recognize,
• 31:51
  like,
• 31:52
  where.
• 31:52
  Where
• 31:52
  I'm
• 31:52
  at,
• 31:52
  I
• 31:53
  can.
• 31:53
  1.
• 31:53
  I
• 31:53
  can
• 31:53
  control
• 31:54
  some
• 31:54
  of
• 31:54
  those
• 31:55
  triggers.
• 31:55
  Like,
• 31:55
  I
• 31:55
  can.
• 31:56
  You
• 31:56
  know,
• 31:57
  I
• 31:57
  can
• 31:57
  set
• 31:57
  up
• 31:57
  my
• 31:57
  house
• 31:58
  so
• 31:58
  that
• 31:58
  I
• 31:58
  don't
• 31:58
  have
• 31:58
  those
• 31:59
  horrible
• 31:59
  lights
• 32:00
  that.
• 32:00
  That
• 32:01
  make
• 32:01
  it
• 32:01
  hard
• 32:01
  for
• 32:02
  me
• 32:02
  to
• 32:02
  function.
• 32:02
  And
• 32:03
  I
• 32:03
  can.
• 32:04
  I
• 32:04
  can
• 32:04
  sort
• 32:04
  of
• 32:04
  build
• 32:04
  my
• 32:05
  life
• 32:05
  so
• 32:05
  that
• 32:05
  it's
• 32:05
  a
• 32:06
  lot.
• 32:06
  A
• 32:06
  lot
• 32:06
  less
• 32:07
  stressful,
• 32:07
  so
• 32:07
  that
• 32:07
  I
• 32:08
  can
• 32:08
  then
• 32:08
  have
• 32:09
  more
• 32:09
  energy
• 32:09
  to
• 32:10
  focus
• 32:10
  on
• 32:11
  these
• 32:12
  moments
• 32:12
  where
• 32:12
  I
• 32:13
  can
• 32:13
  slow
• 32:13
  down
• 32:13
  and
• 32:14
  try
• 32:14
  to
• 32:14
  process.
• 32:15
  But,
• 32:15
  like,
• 32:15
  if
• 32:15
  I
• 32:15
  was
• 32:16
  living,
• 32:16
  you
• 32:16
  know,
• 32:16
  if
• 32:16
  I
• 32:16
  was
• 32:16
  in
• 32:17
  a
• 32:17
  hotel
• 32:18
  room
• 32:19
  and
• 32:19
  had
• 32:19
  no
• 32:20
  control
• 32:20
  over,
• 32:21
  you
• 32:21
  know,
• 32:21
  my
• 32:22
  physical
• 32:22
  space
• 32:22
  and
• 32:23
  over
• 32:23
  all
• 32:23
  these
• 32:23
  other
• 32:23
  things,
• 32:24
  like,
• 32:24
  there's
• 32:24
  no
• 32:24
  way
• 32:24
  I
• 32:25
  would
• 32:25
  be
• 32:25
  able
• 32:25
  to
• 32:25
  just,
• 32:26
  like,
• 32:26
  have
• 32:27
  space
• 32:27
  and
• 32:27
  energy
• 32:29
  to
• 32:29
  deal
• 32:29
  with
• 32:29
  this.
• 32:30
  Like,
• 32:30
  you've
• 32:30
  really
• 32:30
  got
• 32:31
  to
• 32:31
  get,
• 32:31
  like,
• 32:31
  this
• 32:31
  is,
• 32:31
  like,
• 32:31
  a
• 32:31
  little
• 32:32
  bit
• 32:32
  further
• 32:32
  than,
• 32:32
  like,
• 32:32
  you
• 32:32
  have
• 32:32
  to
• 32:33
  get
• 32:33
  past
• 32:34
  the
• 32:34
  Maslow's
• 32:35
  hierarchy,
• 32:35
  whoever
• 32:35
  that
• 32:35
  guy
• 32:36
  is.
• 32:36
  Like,
• 32:36
  you
• 32:36
  have
• 32:36
  to
• 32:36
  get
• 32:36
  past
• 32:37
  that
• 32:37
  and,
• 32:38
  like,
• 32:38
  get
• 32:38
  your
• 32:38
  basic
• 32:39
  needs
• 32:39
  met,
• 32:39
  and
• 32:40
  then
• 32:40
  you
• 32:40
  can
• 32:40
  start
• 32:40
  working
• 32:41
  on
• 32:41
  this.
• 32:43
  And
• 32:43
  I
• 32:43
  think
• 32:43
  when
• 32:43
  you
• 32:44
  think
• 32:44
  about
• 32:44
  it
• 32:44
  from
• 32:45
  a
• 32:45
  parenting
• 32:46
  point
• 32:46
  of
• 32:46
  view,
• 32:47
  you
• 32:47
  know,
• 32:47
  with
• 32:47
  a
• 32:48
  small
• 32:48
  child
• 32:48
  or
• 32:50
  it's
• 32:50
  like,
• 32:50
  again,
• 32:51
  what
• 32:51
  friction
• 32:52
  can
• 32:52
  you
• 32:52
  take
• 32:52
  out
• 32:53
  of
• 32:53
  your
• 32:53
  life
• 32:54
  so
• 32:55
  that
• 32:55
  you
• 32:55
  have
• 32:55
  enough
• 32:55
  energy
• 32:56
  to
• 32:57
  really
• 32:57
  think
• 32:58
  about
• 32:58
  these
• 32:58
  things,
• 32:59
  you
• 32:59
  know,
• 32:59
  and
• 32:59
  also
• 32:59
  potentially
• 33:00
  getting
• 33:00
  help,
• 33:01
  because
• 33:03
  I
• 33:03
  think
• 33:03
  sometimes
• 33:04
  if
• 33:04
  you
• 33:04
  don't
• 33:04
  know
• 33:05
  your
• 33:05
  own
• 33:05
  triggers,
• 33:06
  even
• 33:07
  if
• 33:07
  you
• 33:07
  do
• 33:07
  know
• 33:07
  your
• 33:08
  own
• 33:08
  triggers,
• 33:08
  you
• 33:08
  might
• 33:08
  not
• 33:09
  necessarily
• 33:10
  know
• 33:11
  what
• 33:11
  to
• 33:11
  do
• 33:11
  about
• 33:11
  it.
• 33:12
  And
• 33:12
  so
• 33:13
  I
• 33:13
  think
• 33:14
  sometimes
• 33:14
  can
• 33:14
  help
• 33:14
  to
• 33:15
  get
• 33:15
  support.
• 33:16
  When
• 33:16
  you
• 33:16
  say
• 33:16
  friction,
• 33:16
  Michelle,
• 33:17
  what
• 33:17
  makes
• 33:17
  me
• 33:17
  think
• 33:18
  about
• 33:18
  it
• 33:18
  is
• 33:19
  friction.
• 33:20
  Not
• 33:20
  necessarily
• 33:20
  even
• 33:20
  with
• 33:21
  your
• 33:21
  kid,
• 33:21
  but,
• 33:21
  like,
• 33:22
  just
• 33:22
  with
• 33:22
  you.
• 33:22
  You.
• 33:23
  Yeah.
• 33:23
  So,
• 33:23
  like,
• 33:24
  for
• 33:24
  me,
• 33:24
  it's
• 33:24
  like,
• 33:25
  I.
• 33:25
  I
• 33:26
  have
• 33:26
  to
• 33:26
  have
• 33:26
  my
• 33:27
  lady
• 33:27
  come
• 33:27
  in
• 33:27
  and
• 33:27
  clean
• 33:28
  the
• 33:28
  house,
• 33:28
  because
• 33:29
  cleaning
• 33:29
  is
• 33:29
  just
• 33:29
  a
• 33:30
  friction.
• 33:31
  And
• 33:31
  as
• 33:32
  soon
• 33:32
  as
• 33:32
  I
• 33:32
  gave
• 33:33
  that
• 33:33
  away,
• 33:33
  like,
• 33:33
  it
• 33:34
  just
• 33:34
  freed
• 33:35
  me
• 33:35
  up
• 33:35
  to
• 33:36
  no
• 33:36
  end.
• 33:37
  And
• 33:37
  then,
• 33:37
  like,
• 33:38
  doing
• 33:38
  the
• 33:38
  dishes.
• 33:39
  Doing
• 33:39
  the
• 33:39
  freaking
• 33:40
  dishes
• 33:40
  is,
• 33:41
  like,
• 33:41
  the
• 33:41
  biggest
• 33:42
  challenge.
• 33:42
  And
• 33:42
  so
• 33:42
  now
• 33:43
  Brian
• 33:43
  does
• 33:43
  that.
• 33:44
  And
• 33:44
  so
• 33:45
  I
• 33:45
  have
• 33:45
  noticed
• 33:45
  that,
• 33:45
  like,
• 33:46
  I
• 33:46
  am
• 33:46
  able
• 33:46
  to
• 33:46
  blossom
• 33:47
  more,
• 33:47
  and
• 33:47
  I'm.
• 33:48
  It's
• 33:48
  taking
• 33:48
  away
• 33:48
  a
• 33:49
  lot
• 33:49
  of
• 33:49
  that
• 33:49
  friction.
• 33:50
  You
• 33:50
  know,
• 33:50
  all
• 33:50
  of
• 33:50
  these,
• 33:50
  like,
• 33:51
  these
• 33:51
  projects
• 33:52
  that
• 33:52
  I
• 33:52
  had
• 33:53
  that
• 33:53
  I
• 33:53
  wanted
• 33:54
  to
• 33:54
  do,
• 33:55
  those
• 33:55
  were
• 33:55
  friction,
• 33:56
  and.
• 33:56
  And
• 33:57
  they
• 33:57
  just,
• 33:57
  like.
• 33:58
  So
• 33:58
  it's
• 33:58
  like
• 33:58
  the.
• 33:59
  When
• 33:59
  we
• 33:59
  think
• 33:59
  about
• 34:00
  the
• 34:00
  friction,
• 34:00
  it's
• 34:00
  like,
• 34:01
  what
• 34:01
  are
• 34:01
  these
• 34:01
  things
• 34:01
  that
• 34:02
  are
• 34:02
  like
• 34:02
  that.
• 34:03
  That
• 34:03
  the
• 34:04
  shoulds.
• 34:04
  That
• 34:04
  we,
• 34:04
  like,
• 34:04
  we
• 34:05
  should
• 34:05
  be
• 34:05
  doing,
• 34:06
  right?
• 34:06
  Like,
• 34:07
  I.
• 34:07
  I
• 34:08
  should
• 34:08
  be
• 34:08
  like,
• 34:09
  you
• 34:10
  know,
• 34:10
  yes,
• 34:10
  you
• 34:11
  can
• 34:11
  make
• 34:11
  your
• 34:12
  own
• 34:12
  laundry
• 34:13
  detergent,
• 34:14
  because
• 34:14
  it's
• 34:14
  going
• 34:14
  to
• 34:14
  help
• 34:15
  with,
• 34:15
  you
• 34:15
  know,
• 34:15
  the
• 34:17
  environment.
• 34:17
  But,
• 34:18
  like,
• 34:18
  at
• 34:18
  some
• 34:18
  point,
• 34:18
  like,
• 34:19
  you
• 34:19
  know,
• 34:19
  you're
• 34:20
  just
• 34:20
  trying
• 34:20
  to
• 34:20
  survive,
• 34:21
  and,
• 34:21
  like,
• 34:21
  there
• 34:21
  are
• 34:22
  bigger
• 34:22
  issues
• 34:22
  that,
• 34:22
  like,
• 34:23
  right
• 34:23
  now
• 34:23
  you
• 34:23
  just.
• 34:24
  You've
• 34:24
  gotta,
• 34:24
  like,
• 34:25
  maybe
• 34:25
  let's
• 34:25
  get
• 34:25
  you
• 34:25
  your
• 34:26
  kids
• 34:26
  through
• 34:27
  college
• 34:27
  and
• 34:27
  then
• 34:27
  we
• 34:28
  can
• 34:28
  figure
• 34:28
  out
• 34:28
  how
• 34:28
  to,
• 34:29
  you
• 34:29
  know,
• 34:30
  figure
• 34:30
  out
• 34:30
  how
• 34:31
  to,
• 34:31
  like,
• 34:31
  make
• 34:31
  our
• 34:31
  own
• 34:31
  laundry
• 34:32
  detergent.
• 34:32
  Right.
• 34:33
  Like,
• 34:33
  I've
• 34:33
  just.
• 34:33
  I
• 34:34
  don't
• 34:34
  know.
• 34:34
  Like,
• 34:34
  it.
• 34:34
  There's
• 34:35
  just
• 34:35
  like,
• 34:35
  these
• 34:35
  random
• 34:35
  things
• 34:36
  that,
• 34:36
  like,
• 34:37
  I
• 34:37
  think
• 34:37
  we
• 34:37
  put
• 34:38
  on
• 34:38
  ourselves
• 34:38
  that
• 34:38
  we
• 34:39
  have
• 34:39
  to
• 34:39
  do
• 34:39
  because,
• 34:39
  like,
• 34:39
  we
• 34:40
  hear
• 34:40
  it
• 34:40
  on
• 34:40
  social
• 34:40
  media
• 34:41
  or
• 34:41
  we
• 34:41
  hear
• 34:41
  it
• 34:41
  from
• 34:42
  other
• 34:42
  people.
• 34:42
  Like
• 34:42
  Martha
• 34:43
  Stewart,
• 34:43
  you
• 34:43
  know,
• 34:43
  she
• 34:44
  makes
• 34:44
  us
• 34:44
  think,
• 34:44
  like,
• 34:44
  we
• 34:44
  can
• 34:44
  all
• 34:44
  do
• 34:45
  it.
• 34:45
  And,
• 34:45
  And.
• 34:46
  And
• 34:47
  I.
• 34:47
  And
• 34:47
  I
• 34:47
  just
• 34:47
  was,
• 34:47
  like,
• 34:47
  I
• 34:48
  was
• 34:48
  just
• 34:48
  listening
• 34:48
  to
• 34:48
  this.
• 34:48
  This
• 34:48
  YouTube
• 34:49
  video
• 34:49
  about,
• 34:49
  like,
• 34:50
  this
• 34:50
  woman
• 34:50
  talking
• 34:51
  about,
• 34:51
  you
• 34:51
  know,
• 34:51
  these
• 34:52
  little
• 34:52
  things
• 34:52
  that
• 34:52
  you
• 34:52
  can
• 34:52
  do
• 34:53
  in
• 34:53
  your
• 34:53
  life
• 34:53
  to,
• 34:53
  like,
• 34:53
  help
• 34:53
  you
• 34:54
  with
• 34:54
  your
• 34:54
  budget.
• 34:54
  And
• 34:54
  she
• 34:55
  says,
• 34:55
  you
• 34:55
  know,
• 34:56
  you
• 34:56
  don't
• 34:57
  have
• 34:57
  to
• 34:57
  pay.
• 34:57
  Pay
• 34:58
  someone
• 34:58
  to
• 34:58
  come
• 34:58
  and
• 34:59
  clean
• 34:59
  your
• 34:59
  house,
• 34:59
  like,
• 34:59
  because
• 35:00
  that's
• 35:00
  something
• 35:00
  you
• 35:00
  can
• 35:00
  do
• 35:01
  yourself.
• 35:01
  And
• 35:02
  I
• 35:02
  thought
• 35:02
  that's
• 35:02
  such
• 35:03
  a
• 35:03
  beautiful,
• 35:03
  ableist
• 35:04
  way
• 35:04
  of
• 35:04
  thinking
• 35:04
  about
• 35:04
  it.
• 35:05
  Like,
• 35:06
  no,
• 35:06
  I
• 35:06
  need,
• 35:07
  like.
• 35:07
  But
• 35:07
  I
• 35:07
  was
• 35:08
  able
• 35:08
  to
• 35:08
  listen
• 35:08
  to
• 35:09
  her
• 35:09
  and
• 35:10
  say,
• 35:10
  not.
• 35:10
  That's
• 35:10
  not
• 35:11
  for
• 35:11
  me.
• 35:11
  Like,
• 35:11
  that's
• 35:11
  piece
• 35:12
  of
• 35:12
  advice
• 35:12
  I
• 35:12
  can
• 35:12
  put
• 35:13
  aside
• 35:13
  because
• 35:13
  that's
• 35:14
  not
• 35:14
  how
• 35:14
  I
• 35:14
  work.
• 35:15
  But
• 35:16
  I
• 35:16
  wouldn't
• 35:16
  have
• 35:16
  been
• 35:16
  able
• 35:16
  to
• 35:17
  do
• 35:17
  that
• 35:17
  before.
• 35:17
  I
• 35:17
  would
• 35:18
  have.
• 35:18
  I
• 35:18
  would
• 35:18
  have
• 35:18
  heard
• 35:19
  that
• 35:19
  and
• 35:19
  been
• 35:19
  like,
• 35:19
  oh,
• 35:20
  okay,
• 35:21
  I
• 35:21
  need
• 35:21
  to
• 35:21
  not
• 35:21
  be
• 35:21
  paying.
• 35:22
  Yeah,
• 35:22
  you're
• 35:22
  right.
• 35:22
  Like,
• 35:23
  I'm
• 35:23
  spending
• 35:23
  so
• 35:23
  much
• 35:23
  money
• 35:24
  for
• 35:24
  this
• 35:24
  lady
• 35:24
  to
• 35:24
  come
• 35:24
  into
• 35:25
  my
• 35:25
  house
• 35:25
  and
• 35:25
  to
• 35:25
  clean
• 35:26
  my
• 35:26
  stuff
• 35:26
  when
• 35:26
  I
• 35:26
  could
• 35:26
  be
• 35:27
  doing
• 35:27
  it
• 35:27
  myself.
• 35:27
  And.
• 35:28
  But
• 35:29
  that's
• 35:29
  the
• 35:29
  difference
• 35:30
  of,
• 35:30
  like,
• 35:30
  having
• 35:31
  the
• 35:31
  disability
• 35:32
  mindset
• 35:33
  versus,
• 35:33
  like,
• 35:33
  the,
• 35:34
  you
• 35:35
  know,
• 35:35
  the
• 35:35
  differently
• 35:35
  abled
• 35:36
  mindset
• 35:36
  versus
• 35:39
  the
• 35:39
  ableist
• 35:40
  mindset.
• 35:42
  Yeah,
• 35:42
  I
• 35:42
  mean,
• 35:43
  I
• 35:43
  think
• 35:43
  when
• 35:43
  you're
• 35:43
  saying
• 35:44
  that,
• 35:44
  it
• 35:44
  really
• 35:45
  does.
• 35:47
  I
• 35:47
  keep
• 35:47
  trying
• 35:47
  to
• 35:48
  bringing
• 35:48
  it
• 35:48
  back
• 35:48
  to
• 35:48
  parenting
• 35:49
  because
• 35:49
  I
• 35:49
  feel
• 35:49
  like
• 35:50
  you're
• 35:50
  talking
• 35:50
  about
• 35:50
  parenting
• 35:51
  yourself,
• 35:51
  which
• 35:51
  is
• 35:52
  so
• 35:52
  important
• 35:52
  too,
• 35:53
  but
• 35:54
  that
• 35:54
  there's
• 35:54
  so
• 35:54
  many
• 35:55
  shoulds
• 35:55
  and
• 35:55
  shames
• 35:56
  that
• 35:57
  we
• 35:57
  give
• 35:57
  ourselves.
• 35:57
  And
• 35:58
  I
• 35:58
  think
• 35:58
  when
• 35:58
  we
• 35:59
  were
• 35:59
  talking
• 35:59
  before
• 36:00
  we
• 36:00
  even
• 36:00
  got
• 36:00
  on
• 36:01
  this,
• 36:01
  this.
• 36:02
  This
• 36:02
  particular
• 36:03
  podcast,
• 36:03
  we
• 36:03
  were
• 36:03
  kind
• 36:04
  of
• 36:04
  talking
• 36:04
  through.
• 36:05
  Wait,
• 36:05
  I'm
• 36:06
  going
• 36:06
  to
• 36:06
  stop
• 36:06
  for
• 36:06
  a
• 36:06
  second.
• 36:07
  Mm.
• 36:08
  You're
• 36:08
  crying,
• 36:08
  But
• 36:09
  I'm
• 36:09
  not
• 36:09
  sure
• 36:09
  why.
• 36:10
  No,
• 36:10
  I'm
• 36:10
  not
• 36:10
  crying.
• 36:11
  I'm
• 36:11
  just.
• 36:11
  I'm
• 36:11
  just
• 36:12
  thinking.
• 36:13
  I
• 36:14
  mean,
• 36:14
  I
• 36:14
  do
• 36:14
  take.
• 36:14
  I
• 36:15
  do
• 36:15
  come
• 36:15
  from
• 36:15
  the
• 36:17
  parenting
• 36:17
  myself,
• 36:18
  because
• 36:18
  that's,
• 36:18
  like,
• 36:19
  the
• 36:19
  way
• 36:19
  that
• 36:19
  I'm
• 36:19
  taking
• 36:19
  it.
• 36:20
  But
• 36:20
  you're
• 36:20
  Right.
• 36:20
  Like,
• 36:20
  going
• 36:21
  back
• 36:21
  to
• 36:21
  the
• 36:21
  parenting.
• 36:23
  I'm.
• 36:24
  I'm
• 36:24
  feeling
• 36:24
  like
• 36:25
  I
• 36:25
  am
• 36:25
  overstepping
• 36:26
  in
• 36:26
  all
• 36:26
  the
• 36:27
  wrong
• 36:27
  ways
• 36:27
  today.
• 36:28
  That's.
• 36:28
  That's
• 36:29
  just
• 36:29
  my
• 36:29
  own
• 36:29
  internal
• 36:30
  feeling.
• 36:31
  Yeah.
• 36:31
  Oh,
• 36:32
  okay.
• 36:33
  Yeah.
• 36:33
  I.
• 36:34
  I
• 36:34
  don't
• 36:34
  feel
• 36:35
  the
• 36:35
  same,
• 36:35
  but
• 36:35
  I
• 36:35
  understand
• 36:36
  that
• 36:36
  you're
• 36:37
  feeling
• 36:38
  that
• 36:38
  way.
• 36:38
  Okay.
• 36:39
  I
• 36:39
  was
• 36:39
  just
• 36:39
  trying
• 36:39
  to
• 36:39
  also
• 36:40
  say,
• 36:40
  like,
• 36:40
  also.
• 36:41
  Yes.
• 36:41
  And
• 36:42
  that,
• 36:43
  like,
• 36:43
  the.
• 36:43
  From
• 36:44
  a
• 36:45
  looking
• 36:45
  at
• 36:46
  the,
• 36:46
  like,
• 36:47
  when
• 36:47
  you're
• 36:47
  parenting
• 36:47
  the
• 36:48
  kid
• 36:48
  kind
• 36:48
  of
• 36:49
  point
• 36:49
  of
• 36:49
  view,
• 36:50
  that
• 36:50
  this
• 36:50
  idea
• 36:51
  that
• 36:51
  you're
• 36:52
  not
• 36:52
  gonna
• 36:52
  be
• 36:53
  ashamed
• 36:53
  also
• 36:54
  of
• 36:54
  having
• 36:54
  someone
• 36:54
  clean
• 36:55
  your
• 36:55
  house,
• 36:55
  if
• 36:55
  that's
• 36:55
  gonna
• 36:56
  help,
• 36:56
  right?
• 36:57
  If
• 36:57
  that
• 36:57
  gives
• 36:57
  you
• 36:57
  more
• 36:58
  energy
• 36:58
  and,
• 36:58
  like,
• 36:59
  causes
• 36:59
  less
• 36:59
  triggers,
• 37:00
  because
• 37:01
  maybe
• 37:01
  all
• 37:02
  the
• 37:02
  stuff
• 37:02
  out
• 37:02
  is
• 37:03
  your
• 37:03
  trigger,
• 37:04
  you
• 37:04
  know,
• 37:04
  and
• 37:05
  you
• 37:05
  just
• 37:05
  need
• 37:05
  someone
• 37:05
  to
• 37:06
  come
• 37:06
  to
• 37:06
  reset,
• 37:07
  you
• 37:07
  know,
• 37:07
  if
• 37:08
  you
• 37:08
  can
• 37:08
  afford
• 37:08
  to
• 37:09
  do
• 37:09
  that.
• 37:09
  Of
• 37:09
  course,
• 37:09
  that's
• 37:09
  also
• 37:10
  like,
• 37:11
  a
• 37:11
  great.
• 37:11
  A
• 37:12
  great
• 37:12
  thing
• 37:12
  if
• 37:12
  you
• 37:12
  have
• 37:12
  the
• 37:13
  finances
• 37:13
  to
• 37:13
  do
• 37:13
  it
• 37:14
  right.
• 37:14
  Which
• 37:14
  we
• 37:14
  know
• 37:14
  we've
• 37:15
  both
• 37:15
  been
• 37:15
  in
• 37:15
  situations
• 37:16
  where
• 37:16
  that's
• 37:16
  not
• 37:16
  been
• 37:16
  the
• 37:16
  case
• 37:17
  before,
• 37:17
  so
• 37:18
  we
• 37:18
  feel
• 37:18
  grateful
• 37:19
  for
• 37:19
  that.
• 37:19
  But,
• 37:19
  like,
• 37:19
  sometimes
• 37:20
  it's
• 37:20
  also
• 37:20
  like,
• 37:20
  giving
• 37:21
  up
• 37:21
  something
• 37:22
  so
• 37:22
  that
• 37:22
  you
• 37:22
  can
• 37:22
  afford
• 37:23
  that
• 37:23
  thing
• 37:23
  that
• 37:23
  you
• 37:23
  need,
• 37:24
  right.
• 37:24
  And
• 37:25
  accepting
• 37:25
  that
• 37:26
  you
• 37:26
  need
• 37:26
  that
• 37:26
  help
• 37:27
  at
• 37:27
  this
• 37:27
  moment.
• 37:28
  Like,
• 37:28
  I
• 37:28
  had
• 37:28
  somebody
• 37:29
  come
• 37:29
  in
• 37:29
  when
• 37:29
  Josh
• 37:29
  was
• 37:29
  young
• 37:30
  for
• 37:30
  a
• 37:30
  long
• 37:31
  time,
• 37:31
  and.
• 37:31
  And
• 37:32
  then
• 37:32
  I
• 37:32
  didn't
• 37:32
  need
• 37:32
  it
• 37:32
  as
• 37:33
  much
• 37:33
  later,
• 37:33
  but
• 37:33
  at
• 37:34
  the
• 37:34
  beginning,
• 37:34
  it
• 37:34
  was
• 37:35
  really,
• 37:35
  really
• 37:35
  helpful,
• 37:36
  you
• 37:36
  know?
• 37:36
  So
• 37:37
  I.
• 37:37
  I
• 37:38
  agree
• 37:38
  with
• 37:38
  you
• 37:38
  completely
• 37:39
  on
• 37:39
  that.
• 37:39
  And
• 37:39
  I.
• 37:40
  I
• 37:40
  also
• 37:40
  think
• 37:40
  that
• 37:41
  what
• 37:42
  I
• 37:42
  was
• 37:42
  noticing,
• 37:43
  I
• 37:43
  guess,
• 37:43
  was
• 37:43
  just
• 37:44
  this,
• 37:44
  like,
• 37:45
  line
• 37:45
  is
• 37:46
  so
• 37:46
  not
• 37:47
  different
• 37:47
  between
• 37:47
  parenting
• 37:48
  yourself
• 37:48
  and
• 37:49
  parenting
• 37:49
  your
• 37:49
  kid.
• 37:50
  Like,
• 37:50
  you
• 37:50
  have
• 37:50
  to
• 37:50
  parent
• 37:51
  yourself
• 37:51
  to
• 37:51
  be
• 37:51
  able
• 37:52
  to
• 37:52
  parent
• 37:52
  your
• 37:52
  kid,
• 37:53
  right?
• 37:54
  And
• 37:54
  you
• 37:54
  also,
• 37:54
  like,
• 37:55
  you
• 37:55
  have
• 37:55
  to
• 37:55
  be
• 37:55
  able
• 37:55
  to
• 37:56
  parent
• 37:57
  yourself
• 37:57
  to
• 37:57
  be
• 37:58
  able
• 37:58
  to
• 37:58
  be
• 37:58
  a
• 37:58
  functioning
• 37:59
  adult
• 37:59
  in
• 37:59
  the
• 37:59
  world,
• 38:00
  whether
• 38:00
  you
• 38:01
  have
• 38:01
  kid,
• 38:01
  dog
• 38:02
  kids,
• 38:02
  or
• 38:03
  kid
• 38:04
  kids
• 38:04
  in
• 38:04
  your.
• 38:04
  Whatever
• 38:05
  it
• 38:05
  is,
• 38:05
  right?
• 38:05
  All
• 38:05
  of
• 38:06
  that,
• 38:06
  like,
• 38:06
  that
• 38:07
  idea
• 38:07
  of.
• 38:08
  Of
• 38:08
  caring
• 38:08
  for
• 38:09
  someone
• 38:09
  else
• 38:09
  or
• 38:10
  something
• 38:10
  else
• 38:11
  means
• 38:11
  you
• 38:12
  have
• 38:12
  to
• 38:12
  care
• 38:12
  for
• 38:12
  yourself
• 38:13
  first.
• 38:15
  And
• 38:17
  so,
• 38:17
  I
• 38:17
  mean,
• 38:17
  to
• 38:18
  me,
• 38:18
  I
• 38:18
  didn't
• 38:18
  think
• 38:18
  you
• 38:18
  were
• 38:19
  stepping
• 38:19
  on
• 38:19
  anything
• 38:20
  in
• 38:20
  any
• 38:20
  particular
• 38:21
  way
• 38:21
  at
• 38:21
  all.
• 38:22
  I
• 38:22
  thought
• 38:22
  it
• 38:22
  was
• 38:22
  just,
• 38:22
  like,
• 38:23
  kind
• 38:23
  of
• 38:23
  two
• 38:23
  sides
• 38:24
  of
• 38:24
  the
• 38:24
  same
• 38:24
  coin
• 38:24
  is
• 38:25
  really
• 38:25
  what
• 38:25
  I
• 38:25
  was
• 38:25
  getting
• 38:26
  at.
• 38:28
  So,
• 38:28
  like,
• 38:28
  when
• 38:28
  I
• 38:28
  keep
• 38:29
  going,
• 38:29
  well,
• 38:29
  I'm
• 38:29
  taking
• 38:29
  it
• 38:30
  from
• 38:30
  this
• 38:30
  parenting
• 38:30
  perspective.
• 38:31
  I'm
• 38:31
  thinking,
• 38:31
  like,
• 38:32
  it's
• 38:32
  both
• 38:32
  sides
• 38:33
  of
• 38:33
  it.
• 38:33
  Like,
• 38:33
  yes,
• 38:34
  I
• 38:34
  would
• 38:34
  need
• 38:34
  to
• 38:34
  take
• 38:34
  the
• 38:35
  friction
• 38:35
  out
• 38:35
  of
• 38:35
  my
• 38:35
  life
• 38:36
  so
• 38:36
  that
• 38:36
  I
• 38:36
  could
• 38:36
  help
• 38:36
  my
• 38:37
  kid.
• 38:37
  I
• 38:37
  would
• 38:37
  need
• 38:37
  to
• 38:37
  help
• 38:37
  my
• 38:38
  kid
• 38:38
  learn
• 38:38
  how
• 38:38
  to
• 38:38
  take
• 38:39
  the
• 38:39
  friction
• 38:39
  out
• 38:39
  of
• 38:39
  their
• 38:39
  lives.
• 38:40
  And
• 38:41
  all
• 38:41
  of
• 38:41
  that
• 38:41
  is
• 38:42
  to
• 38:42
  say
• 38:42
  that
• 38:43
  you
• 38:44
  still
• 38:44
  are
• 38:44
  going
• 38:44
  to
• 38:44
  have
• 38:44
  friction.
• 38:46
  You're
• 38:46
  still
• 38:46
  going
• 38:47
  to
• 38:47
  have
• 38:47
  things
• 38:47
  that
• 38:47
  are
• 38:47
  going
• 38:47
  to
• 38:47
  cause
• 38:48
  triggers.
• 38:48
  And
• 38:48
  so
• 38:48
  then
• 38:49
  how
• 38:49
  do
• 38:49
  you,
• 38:51
  you
• 38:51
  know,
• 38:51
  like,
• 38:51
  my
• 38:52
  solution
• 38:52
  at
• 38:52
  one
• 38:53
  point
• 38:53
  was
• 38:53
  sitting
• 38:53
  down
• 38:53
  like
• 38:54
  a
• 38:54
  Buddha
• 38:55
  in
• 38:55
  the
• 38:55
  middle
• 38:55
  of
• 38:56
  a
• 38:57
  kitchen
• 38:58
  with
• 38:58
  my
• 38:58
  two
• 38:58
  and
• 38:59
  a
• 38:59
  half
• 38:59
  year
• 38:59
  old
• 38:59
  who
• 39:00
  was
• 39:00
  losing
• 39:00
  their
• 39:01
  little
• 39:01
  mind
• 39:02
  and
• 39:03
  just
• 39:03
  sat
• 39:03
  there
• 39:03
  till
• 39:04
  he
• 39:04
  calmed
• 39:05
  down
• 39:05
  and
• 39:05
  came
• 39:06
  up
• 39:06
  and
• 39:06
  cuddled
• 39:07
  up
• 39:07
  into
• 39:07
  my
• 39:07
  lap.
• 39:08
  But
• 39:08
  I
• 39:08
  was
• 39:08
  calm.
• 39:09
  And
• 39:09
  I
• 39:10
  think
• 39:10
  so
• 39:10
  much
• 39:10
  of
• 39:10
  it
• 39:10
  is
• 39:10
  like,
• 39:11
  how
• 39:11
  do
• 39:11
  you
• 39:12
  get
• 39:12
  back
• 39:12
  to
• 39:12
  your
• 39:13
  place
• 39:13
  of
• 39:13
  calm?
• 39:15
  And
• 39:16
  I
• 39:16
  never
• 39:17
  thought
• 39:17
  of
• 39:17
  it
• 39:17
  really
• 39:17
  like
• 39:17
  that
• 39:18
  specifically,
• 39:18
  but
• 39:19
  I
• 39:19
  think
• 39:19
  that's
• 39:19
  like,
• 39:19
  when
• 39:20
  we
• 39:20
  talk
• 39:20
  about
• 39:20
  self
• 39:21
  regulation,
• 39:22
  that's
• 39:23
  kind
• 39:23
  of
• 39:23
  where
• 39:24
  we're
• 39:24
  at.
• 39:24
  Like,
• 39:24
  not
• 39:24
  that
• 39:24
  it's
• 39:25
  like
• 39:25
  the
• 39:25
  feeling
• 39:26
  goes
• 39:26
  away,
• 39:26
  but
• 39:26
  that
• 39:27
  you
• 39:27
  have
• 39:27
  a
• 39:27
  calmness
• 39:28
  with
• 39:28
  it.
• 39:28
  That
• 39:28
  the
• 39:29
  seas,
• 39:29
  the
• 39:29
  waters
• 39:30
  aren't
• 39:31
  these
• 39:31
  giant
• 39:31
  waves
• 39:32
  that
• 39:32
  you're
• 39:32
  kind
• 39:33
  of
• 39:33
  able
• 39:33
  to
• 39:33
  kind
• 39:34
  of
• 39:34
  regulate,
• 39:35
  you
• 39:35
  know,
• 39:36
  the
• 39:36
  amplitude,
• 39:37
  how
• 39:37
  high
• 39:37
  the
• 39:38
  waves
• 39:38
  are.
• 39:39
  That
• 39:39
  becomes
• 39:39
  maybe
• 39:40
  a
• 39:40
  rolling
• 39:40
  wave.
• 39:40
  Like
• 39:41
  you're
• 39:41
  still
• 39:41
  feeling
• 39:41
  things,
• 39:42
  but
• 39:42
  you're
• 39:42
  not
• 39:42
  out
• 39:42
  of
• 39:42
  control.
• 39:44
  Yeah,
• 39:44
  because
• 39:45
  I
• 39:45
  think,
• 39:45
  you
• 39:45
  know,
• 39:45
  I
• 39:46
  always
• 39:46
  remember
• 39:46
  when
• 39:46
  I
• 39:46
  was
• 39:47
  teaching,
• 39:48
  the
• 39:48
  minute
• 39:49
  you
• 39:49
  lose
• 39:49
  control
• 39:50
  emotionally,
• 39:51
  they've.
• 39:52
  They
• 39:52
  now
• 39:53
  control
• 39:53
  the
• 39:53
  situation.
• 39:54
  Right.
• 39:54
  Like,
• 39:55
  it's
• 39:55
  now
• 39:55
  them
• 39:56
  trying
• 39:56
  to
• 39:56
  control
• 39:57
  it
• 39:57
  because
• 39:57
  it
• 39:58
  feels
• 39:58
  so
• 39:58
  dysregulating
• 39:59
  to
• 40:00
  them.
• 40:00
  And
• 40:01
  so
• 40:01
  I
• 40:01
  think,
• 40:01
  like,
• 40:01
  as
• 40:02
  a
• 40:02
  parent
• 40:02
  with
• 40:02
  ourselves,
• 40:03
  whether
• 40:03
  we're
• 40:03
  parenting
• 40:04
  ourselves
• 40:04
  or
• 40:04
  parenting
• 40:05
  our
• 40:05
  kids,
• 40:06
  like,
• 40:06
  once
• 40:06
  we've
• 40:06
  lost
• 40:07
  control
• 40:07
  of
• 40:08
  our
• 40:08
  emotions
• 40:09
  and
• 40:10
  then
• 40:10
  that's
• 40:11
  the
• 40:11
  part
• 40:11
  where
• 40:13
  you
• 40:13
  know
• 40:13
  and
• 40:14
  you
• 40:14
  will
• 40:14
  lose
• 40:15
  control
• 40:15
  of
• 40:15
  your
• 40:15
  emotions.
• 40:16
  I
• 40:16
  mean,
• 40:16
  it's
• 40:16
  not
• 40:16
  an
• 40:17
  if,
• 40:17
  it's
• 40:17
  a
• 40:17
  when,
• 40:18
  but
• 40:18
  it's
• 40:18
  what
• 40:19
  do
• 40:19
  you
• 40:19
  do?
• 40:20
  I
• 40:20
  think,
• 40:20
  like
• 40:20
  you
• 40:20
  said
• 40:21
  with
• 40:21
  the
• 40:21
  second
• 40:21
  thought,
• 40:22
  the
• 40:22
  second
• 40:23
  part
• 40:23
  of
• 40:23
  that,
• 40:23
  which
• 40:24
  is,
• 40:24
  do
• 40:24
  you
• 40:24
  have
• 40:25
  something
• 40:25
  in
• 40:25
  your
• 40:26
  mind
• 40:26
  that
• 40:26
  helps
• 40:27
  you
• 40:27
  to
• 40:27
  go,
• 40:27
  okay,
• 40:28
  go
• 40:29
  sit
• 40:29
  for
• 40:29
  a
• 40:29
  minute,
• 40:30
  for
• 40:30
  five
• 40:30
  minutes.
• 40:31
  Something
• 40:31
  you,
• 40:31
  you
• 40:32
  know,
• 40:32
  what's
• 40:32
  that
• 40:32
  thing
• 40:32
  that
• 40:33
  you
• 40:33
  do
• 40:33
  to
• 40:33
  help
• 40:33
  yourself
• 40:35
  get
• 40:35
  that?
• 40:35
  And
• 40:35
  you
• 40:35
  said,
• 40:35
  like,
• 40:36
  your
• 40:36
  hands
• 40:36
  clasping
• 40:37
  together
• 40:37
  is,
• 40:37
  is
• 40:38
  sort
• 40:38
  of
• 40:38
  a,
• 40:39
  A
• 40:39
  way,
• 40:39
  you
• 40:39
  know,
• 40:40
  to
• 40:40
  help
• 40:40
  yourself
• 40:41
  regulate.
• 40:42
  It
• 40:42
  sounded
• 40:42
  like.
• 40:44
  Well,
• 40:44
  and
• 40:44
  I,
• 40:44
  I
• 40:45
  just
• 40:45
  wonder.
• 40:46
  I.
• 40:46
  I
• 40:46
  don't
• 40:46
  know
• 40:46
  if
• 40:47
  this
• 40:47
  is,
• 40:47
  like,
• 40:48
  actually
• 40:49
  doable
• 40:49
  in
• 40:49
  the
• 40:49
  real
• 40:50
  world,
• 40:50
  but
• 40:50
  for
• 40:50
  me,
• 40:51
  if,
• 40:51
  if
• 40:52
  I
• 40:52
  was
• 40:52
  like,
• 40:55
  if
• 40:55
  I
• 40:55
  had,
• 40:56
  you
• 40:56
  know,
• 40:57
  a
• 40:57
  kid
• 40:58
  every
• 40:58
  single
• 40:58
  day,
• 40:58
  like,
• 40:58
  I
• 40:59
  would
• 41:00
  figure
• 41:00
  out
• 41:00
  a
• 41:00
  way
• 41:00
  to
• 41:00
  build
• 41:01
  in.
• 41:03
  This
• 41:03
  is.
• 41:03
  Okay.
• 41:04
  I'm
• 41:04
  just,
• 41:05
  I'm
• 41:05
  sorry.
• 41:05
  I
• 41:05
  think
• 41:06
  I'm
• 41:06
  like
• 41:06
  hearing
• 41:06
  every
• 41:07
  single.
• 41:09
  Yes
• 41:09
  and.
• 41:10
  But
• 41:10
  no,
• 41:10
  Megan,
• 41:11
  you
• 41:11
  don't
• 41:11
  know
• 41:11
  what
• 41:11
  you're
• 41:12
  talking
• 41:12
  about.
• 41:12
  So,
• 41:12
  like,
• 41:12
  that's
• 41:13
  why
• 41:13
  I'm.
• 41:13
  I'm
• 41:13
  a
• 41:14
  little
• 41:14
  like
• 41:14
  all
• 41:14
  over
• 41:14
  the
• 41:14
  place
• 41:15
  today,
• 41:16
  which
• 41:16
  I
• 41:16
  think
• 41:17
  is
• 41:17
  fine,
• 41:17
  because
• 41:17
  I
• 41:17
  think
• 41:17
  it's
• 41:17
  good
• 41:18
  to,
• 41:18
  like,
• 41:18
  not
• 41:18
  always
• 41:18
  be
• 41:19
  on
• 41:19
  and
• 41:20
  for
• 41:20
  people
• 41:20
  to
• 41:20
  hear
• 41:21
  that.
• 41:22
  But,
• 41:23
  like,
• 41:23
  I.
• 41:24
  I
• 41:24
  guess
• 41:24
  from.
• 41:25
  I
• 41:25
  should.
• 41:25
  Okay,
• 41:25
  what
• 41:26
  I
• 41:26
  should
• 41:26
  say
• 41:26
  is
• 41:26
  from
• 41:26
  my
• 41:27
  point
• 41:27
  of
• 41:27
  view
• 41:27
  as
• 41:28
  a
• 41:28
  kid,
• 41:29
  I
• 41:29
  would
• 41:29
  have
• 41:29
  liked
• 41:30
  to
• 41:30
  have
• 41:30
  had
• 41:32
  a
• 41:32
  mechanism
• 41:33
  in
• 41:33
  our
• 41:33
  home
• 41:34
  where
• 41:35
  it
• 41:35
  was,
• 41:35
  like,
• 41:36
  known
• 41:36
  that
• 41:37
  we
• 41:37
  were
• 41:37
  gonna
• 41:37
  be
• 41:37
  dysregulated
• 41:38
  every
• 41:38
  once
• 41:38
  in
• 41:39
  a
• 41:39
  while.
• 41:39
  Even
• 41:39
  the
• 41:39
  adults.
• 41:41
  That
• 41:41
  even
• 41:41
  as
• 41:41
  an
• 41:42
  adult,
• 41:42
  like,
• 41:42
  there's
• 41:43
  just.
• 41:43
  There's
• 41:43
  no
• 41:44
  way
• 41:44
  that
• 41:44
  you
• 41:44
  can
• 41:44
  be
• 41:45
  a
• 41:45
  functioning
• 41:45
  human
• 41:46
  and
• 41:46
  care
• 41:47
  about
• 41:47
  people
• 41:48
  and
• 41:48
  not
• 41:49
  get
• 41:49
  triggered.
• 41:50
  And
• 41:50
  so,
• 41:51
  you
• 41:51
  know,
• 41:51
  we're
• 41:51
  gonna
• 41:52
  do
• 41:52
  our
• 41:52
  best
• 41:52
  as
• 41:52
  the
• 41:53
  adults
• 41:53
  to
• 41:53
  be
• 41:53
  less
• 41:53
  triggered
• 41:54
  than
• 41:54
  you
• 41:54
  to
• 41:55
  small
• 41:55
  child,
• 41:56
  but
• 41:57
  there's
• 41:57
  gonna
• 41:57
  come
• 41:57
  times,
• 41:58
  like,
• 41:58
  where
• 41:58
  we.
• 41:59
  We
• 41:59
  do.
• 41:59
  We
• 42:00
  are.
• 42:00
  And
• 42:00
  I
• 42:00
  think
• 42:00
  that's,
• 42:01
  like,
• 42:01
  where
• 42:01
  I
• 42:01
  always
• 42:01
  go
• 42:01
  back
• 42:02
  to,
• 42:02
  like,
• 42:02
  the
• 42:02
  repair
• 42:03
  and,
• 42:04
  like,
• 42:04
  okay,
• 42:04
  so,
• 42:04
  you
• 42:05
  know,
• 42:05
  because
• 42:05
  this
• 42:05
  is
• 42:05
  going
• 42:06
  to
• 42:06
  happen.
• 42:06
  And
• 42:06
  so,
• 42:07
  like,
• 42:07
  now
• 42:07
  we
• 42:07
  have
• 42:07
  to
• 42:07
  be
• 42:08
  able
• 42:08
  to
• 42:08
  repair.
• 42:08
  And
• 42:08
  the
• 42:09
  reason
• 42:09
  that
• 42:09
  it's
• 42:09
  important
• 42:10
  for.
• 42:10
  For
• 42:10
  you
• 42:10
  to
• 42:11
  witness
• 42:11
  this
• 42:12
  as
• 42:12
  a
• 42:12
  child,
• 42:13
  me
• 42:14
  would
• 42:14
  have
• 42:14
  been
• 42:15
  that
• 42:15
  I
• 42:15
  could
• 42:15
  see
• 42:15
  how
• 42:16
  the
• 42:16
  adults
• 42:16
  deal
• 42:17
  with
• 42:17
  it,
• 42:17
  and
• 42:17
  I
• 42:17
  have
• 42:17
  a
• 42:18
  good
• 42:18
  role
• 42:18
  model
• 42:19
  for
• 42:19
  when
• 42:19
  I
• 42:19
  become
• 42:20
  an
• 42:20
  adult
• 42:20
  and
• 42:20
  I
• 42:20
  become
• 42:21
  a
• 42:21
  dysregulated
• 42:21
  adult.
• 42:23
  Whereas,
• 42:23
  like,
• 42:23
  that
• 42:23
  was
• 42:23
  the
• 42:24
  thing
• 42:24
  I
• 42:24
  just
• 42:24
  didn't.
• 42:25
  You
• 42:25
  know,
• 42:25
  it
• 42:25
  was
• 42:26
  like,
• 42:26
  you're
• 42:26
  supposed
• 42:26
  to
• 42:26
  just
• 42:27
  never
• 42:27
  be
• 42:27
  that
• 42:28
  way.
• 42:28
  It's
• 42:28
  supposed.
• 42:28
  It's
• 42:28
  very
• 42:29
  shameful
• 42:29
  for
• 42:29
  a
• 42:30
  parent
• 42:30
  to
• 42:30
  get
• 42:30
  dysregulated.
• 42:32
  And
• 42:32
  it's
• 42:32
  like.
• 42:32
  But
• 42:33
  that's
• 42:33
  reality,
• 42:34
  though.
• 42:34
  That
• 42:34
  is.
• 42:34
  Yeah,
• 42:35
  it
• 42:35
  happens.
• 42:35
  That
• 42:36
  is.
• 42:36
  It
• 42:36
  happens.
• 42:37
  That
• 42:37
  is
• 42:37
  being
• 42:37
  human.
• 42:38
  And
• 42:38
  I
• 42:39
  don't
• 42:39
  want
• 42:39
  a
• 42:39
  robot
• 42:40
  as
• 42:40
  a
• 42:40
  parent.
• 42:40
  And
• 42:41
  so
• 42:41
  I
• 42:42
  would
• 42:42
  have
• 42:42
  loved
• 42:42
  to
• 42:43
  have
• 42:43
  had,
• 42:43
  you
• 42:44
  know,
• 42:45
  that
• 42:45
  built
• 42:46
  into
• 42:46
  the
• 42:47
  family.
• 42:48
  And
• 42:48
  then.
• 42:48
  And
• 42:49
  then
• 42:49
  it's
• 42:49
  like,
• 42:49
  okay,
• 42:49
  yeah,
• 42:50
  you
• 42:50
  know,
• 42:50
  so
• 42:50
  that,
• 42:50
  like,
• 42:51
  when
• 42:51
  I.
• 42:51
  When
• 42:51
  it
• 42:51
  does
• 42:51
  happen.
• 42:52
  Because
• 42:52
  it's
• 42:52
  not.
• 42:52
  If
• 42:53
  it's
• 42:53
  like,
• 42:53
  when
• 42:53
  it
• 42:53
  does
• 42:54
  happen,
• 42:55
  we
• 42:55
  know
• 42:55
  that
• 42:55
  we're
• 42:56
  gonna
• 42:56
  come
• 42:56
  back
• 42:56
  and
• 42:57
  we're
• 42:57
  gonna
• 42:57
  talk
• 42:57
  about
• 42:57
  it,
• 42:58
  and
• 42:58
  I'm
• 42:58
  gonna
• 42:58
  apologize,
• 42:59
  and
• 42:59
  I'm
• 42:59
  gonna
• 42:59
  show
• 42:59
  you
• 43:00
  what
• 43:00
  it
• 43:00
  looks
• 43:00
  like
• 43:00
  to
• 43:00
  be
• 43:01
  humble
• 43:01
  and
• 43:01
  to,
• 43:01
  like,
• 43:02
  have
• 43:02
  to
• 43:02
  own
• 43:03
  really,
• 43:03
  really
• 43:03
  hard
• 43:03
  feelings.
• 43:04
  And
• 43:04
  this
• 43:04
  sucks.
• 43:05
  And
• 43:05
  I
• 43:05
  don't
• 43:05
  like
• 43:05
  the
• 43:05
  fact
• 43:06
  that
• 43:06
  I
• 43:06
  acted
• 43:06
  that
• 43:07
  way.
• 43:07
  But
• 43:08
  also,
• 43:08
  we
• 43:09
  can
• 43:09
  repair
• 43:10
  because
• 43:10
  that's.
• 43:11
  That's
• 43:11
  the
• 43:11
  sign
• 43:11
  of
• 43:12
  a
• 43:12
  healthy
• 43:12
  relationship
• 43:13
  because,
• 43:13
  like,
• 43:13
  we're
• 43:13
  always
• 43:14
  gonna
• 43:14
  hurt
• 43:14
  the
• 43:14
  people
• 43:15
  we
• 43:15
  love
• 43:15
  the
• 43:15
  most.
• 43:16
  Just
• 43:16
  unfortunate,
• 43:17
  but
• 43:17
  it's
• 43:17
  the
• 43:17
  truth.
• 43:18
  Well,
• 43:19
  I
• 43:19
  think
• 43:19
  I
• 43:19
  saw
• 43:19
  that,
• 43:20
  you
• 43:20
  know,
• 43:20
  so
• 43:21
  many
• 43:21
  times
• 43:22
  when
• 43:22
  you
• 43:22
  were,
• 43:23
  you
• 43:23
  know,
• 43:24
  with
• 43:24
  Josh
• 43:25
  specifically,
• 43:27
  and
• 43:27
  I
• 43:28
  do
• 43:28
  think
• 43:28
  you
• 43:28
  take
• 43:28
  that
• 43:29
  approach.
• 43:29
  And
• 43:29
  I
• 43:29
  think
• 43:29
  sometimes
• 43:30
  the
• 43:30
  part
• 43:30
  that,
• 43:32
  you
• 43:32
  know,
• 43:32
  people
• 43:33
  who
• 43:33
  have
• 43:34
  their
• 43:35
  children
• 43:36
  every
• 43:36
  Day,
• 43:37
  I
• 43:37
  think,
• 43:38
  struggle
• 43:39
  with
• 43:39
  the
• 43:39
  energy
• 43:40
  level
• 43:40
  that
• 43:40
  that
• 43:41
  takes
• 43:41
  sometimes.
• 43:42
  And
• 43:42
  so
• 43:43
  there's
• 43:43
  a
• 43:43
  lot
• 43:43
  of
• 43:45
  shame
• 43:45
  in,
• 43:46
  like,
• 43:46
  just
• 43:47
  like
• 43:47
  you
• 43:47
  said,
• 43:47
  a
• 43:47
  lot
• 43:48
  of
• 43:48
  shame
• 43:48
  around
• 43:48
  it
• 43:48
  that
• 43:49
  we
• 43:49
  do.
• 43:49
  One
• 43:50
  of
• 43:50
  the
• 43:50
  questions
• 43:50
  was,
• 43:50
  like,
• 43:51
  what
• 43:51
  she
• 43:51
  says
• 43:52
  at
• 43:52
  the
• 43:52
  end
• 43:52
  of
• 43:52
  this
• 43:52
  chapter,
• 43:53
  like,
• 43:53
  what
• 43:53
  shame
• 43:53
  are
• 43:53
  you
• 43:54
  ready
• 43:54
  to
• 43:54
  let
• 43:54
  go
• 43:54
  of?
• 43:56
  You
• 43:56
  know,
• 43:56
  And
• 43:56
  I
• 43:56
  think
• 43:57
  this
• 43:57
  idea
• 43:57
  that,
• 43:59
  you
• 43:59
  know,
• 44:00
  you
• 44:00
  may
• 44:00
  not
• 44:00
  have
• 44:00
  the
• 44:01
  energy
• 44:01
  to
• 44:01
  regulate
• 44:02
  yourself
• 44:03
  as
• 44:04
  beautifully
• 44:05
  as
• 44:05
  whatever
• 44:05
  the
• 44:06
  books
• 44:06
  say
• 44:06
  they
• 44:07
  want
• 44:07
  you
• 44:07
  to
• 44:07
  do
• 44:08
  as
• 44:08
  a
• 44:08
  parent,
• 44:08
  you
• 44:09
  know,
• 44:09
  or
• 44:09
  to
• 44:09
  do
• 44:10
  it
• 44:10
  with
• 44:10
  yourself
• 44:11
  is
• 44:11
  something
• 44:12
  that
• 44:12
  is
• 44:12
  something
• 44:13
  to
• 44:13
  look
• 44:13
  at
• 44:13
  potentially
• 44:14
  in
• 44:14
  terms
• 44:14
  of
• 44:15
  feeling
• 44:15
  it.
• 44:15
  And
• 44:15
  I
• 44:16
  think
• 44:16
  when
• 44:16
  there's
• 44:16
  a
• 44:16
  lot
• 44:16
  of
• 44:17
  yes,
• 44:17
  buts
• 44:17
  from
• 44:18
  me,
• 44:18
  it
• 44:19
  probably
• 44:19
  is
• 44:19
  just
• 44:19
  coming
• 44:20
  from
• 44:20
  a
• 44:20
  feeling
• 44:20
  of
• 44:21
  shame,
• 44:21
  of
• 44:21
  like,
• 44:21
  oh,
• 44:22
  well,
• 44:22
  I
• 44:22
  can't
• 44:23
  because
• 44:23
  of
• 44:23
  this
• 44:24
  or
• 44:24
  that,
• 44:24
  you
• 44:24
  know,
• 44:24
  and
• 44:24
  I'm
• 44:25
  so
• 44:25
  tired
• 44:25
  and
• 44:25
  I'm
• 44:26
  doing
• 44:26
  it
• 44:26
  every
• 44:26
  day
• 44:26
  and
• 44:27
  all
• 44:27
  these
• 44:27
  things,
• 44:27
  you
• 44:27
  know,
• 44:27
  and
• 44:28
  so
• 44:28
  it's
• 44:28
  like.
• 44:29
  And
• 44:29
  yet,
• 44:29
  you
• 44:30
  know,
• 44:30
  the
• 44:30
  reality
• 44:30
  is
• 44:32
  that,
• 44:33
  yeah,
• 44:34
  you
• 44:34
  do
• 44:34
  get
• 44:34
  tired
• 44:35
  and
• 44:35
  you
• 44:35
  do
• 44:36
  sometimes
• 44:36
  screw
• 44:36
  it
• 44:36
  up,
• 44:37
  and
• 44:37
  that's
• 44:37
  okay,
• 44:37
  too.
• 44:38
  But
• 44:38
  that
• 44:38
  doesn't
• 44:38
  mean
• 44:39
  that
• 44:39
  you
• 44:39
  shouldn't
• 44:39
  think
• 44:39
  about
• 44:40
  exactly
• 44:40
  what
• 44:40
  you
• 44:40
  said,
• 44:41
  which
• 44:41
  is
• 44:41
  how
• 44:42
  do
• 44:42
  you
• 44:42
  create
• 44:42
  a
• 44:43
  space,
• 44:44
  a
• 44:44
  safe
• 44:44
  space
• 44:44
  in
• 44:45
  your
• 44:45
  family
• 44:45
  dynamic,
• 44:46
  whatever
• 44:47
  it
• 44:47
  is,
• 44:47
  that
• 44:48
  it's
• 44:48
  okay
• 44:49
  that
• 44:50
  you're
• 44:50
  human,
• 44:50
  that
• 44:50
  it's
• 44:51
  okay
• 44:51
  that
• 44:51
  you
• 44:53
  react
• 44:54
  sometimes,
• 44:54
  but
• 44:54
  that
• 44:55
  it
• 44:55
  doesn't
• 44:55
  mean
• 44:55
  that
• 44:56
  you
• 44:56
  don't
• 44:56
  have
• 44:56
  to
• 44:57
  repair
• 44:57
  it
• 44:57
  doesn't
• 44:58
  mean
• 44:58
  that
• 44:58
  you
• 44:58
  just
• 44:58
  get
• 44:58
  to
• 44:59
  do
• 44:59
  that
• 44:59
  and
• 44:59
  then
• 44:59
  never
• 45:00
  talk
• 45:00
  about
• 45:00
  it
• 45:00
  again.
• 45:00
  It
• 45:01
  doesn't
• 45:01
  mean
• 45:02
  that
• 45:02
  you
• 45:02
  get
• 45:02
  to
• 45:02
  walk
• 45:03
  off
• 45:03
  into
• 45:03
  your
• 45:03
  room
• 45:03
  and
• 45:04
  then
• 45:04
  come
• 45:04
  back
• 45:04
  and
• 45:04
  act
• 45:04
  like
• 45:05
  nothing
• 45:05
  happened.
• 45:06
  Right?
• 45:06
  Because
• 45:06
  that
• 45:07
  doesn't
• 45:07
  help
• 45:07
  the
• 45:08
  kid
• 45:08
  necessarily,
• 45:09
  or
• 45:09
  yourself
• 45:09
  to
• 45:10
  grow.
• 45:10
  Right?
• 45:11
  So
• 45:11
  I
• 45:12
  think
• 45:12
  it's.
• 45:13
  I
• 45:14
  can
• 45:14
  understand,
• 45:15
  like,
• 45:15
  when
• 45:16
  you're
• 45:16
  kind
• 45:16
  of
• 45:17
  tiptoeing
• 45:17
  around
• 45:18
  things
• 45:18
  with
• 45:18
  me
• 45:19
  sometimes,
• 45:19
  it's
• 45:19
  because
• 45:20
  I
• 45:20
  think
• 45:20
  there's
• 45:21
  a
• 45:21
  defensiveness
• 45:22
  that
• 45:22
  happens
• 45:23
  as
• 45:23
  a
• 45:23
  parent
• 45:24
  because
• 45:24
  it
• 45:24
  feels
• 45:25
  sometimes
• 45:25
  to
• 45:26
  me,
• 45:26
  especially
• 45:26
  when
• 45:26
  you're.
• 45:27
  You're
• 45:27
  raising
• 45:27
  a
• 45:27
  complex
• 45:28
  kid.
• 45:29
  And
• 45:29
  I
• 45:29
  don't
• 45:29
  think
• 45:29
  that's
• 45:30
  different
• 45:31
  for
• 45:32
  the
• 45:32
  kid
• 45:33
  themselves.
• 45:33
  I
• 45:34
  think
• 45:34
  this
• 45:34
  is
• 45:35
  completely.
• 45:36
  You
• 45:36
  know,
• 45:36
  anyone
• 45:37
  who
• 45:39
  is
• 45:39
  neurospicy
• 45:40
  understands
• 45:41
  this
• 45:42
  much
• 45:42
  better
• 45:42
  than
• 45:42
  I
• 45:43
  do
• 45:43
  in.
• 45:43
  In
• 45:43
  many
• 45:44
  ways.
• 45:44
  But
• 45:45
  this
• 45:45
  armor
• 45:45
  that
• 45:46
  you
• 45:46
  sometimes
• 45:46
  build
• 45:47
  up
• 45:47
  because
• 45:49
  you're
• 45:49
  kind
• 45:49
  of
• 45:49
  constantly
• 45:50
  under
• 45:50
  the
• 45:50
  gun,
• 45:50
  like.
• 45:53
  Like,
• 45:53
  I
• 45:54
  have
• 45:54
  very
• 45:54
  good
• 45:54
  friends,
• 45:55
  right?
• 45:56
  And
• 45:57
  yet
• 45:57
  I
• 45:57
  still
• 45:58
  have
• 45:58
  friends
• 45:58
  who
• 45:59
  said,
• 45:59
  like,
• 45:59
  my
• 46:00
  kid
• 46:00
  doesn't
• 46:00
  want
• 46:00
  to
• 46:01
  hang
• 46:01
  out
• 46:01
  with
• 46:01
  your
• 46:01
  kid
• 46:02
  anymore,
• 46:04
  so
• 46:06
  that
• 46:06
  sucks.
• 46:08
  Like,
• 46:08
  that's
• 46:08
  really,
• 46:09
  really
• 46:09
  hard.
• 46:10
  And
• 46:10
  it's
• 46:11
  really
• 46:11
  hard
• 46:11
  for
• 46:12
  the
• 46:12
  kid,
• 46:13
  and
• 46:13
  it's
• 46:13
  really
• 46:14
  hard
• 46:14
  for
• 46:14
  the
• 46:14
  Parent.
• 46:15
  And
• 46:15
  I
• 46:15
  don't
• 46:15
  want
• 46:15
  to
• 46:16
  put,
• 46:16
  you
• 46:16
  know,
• 46:17
  that
• 46:17
  it
• 46:17
  isn't
• 46:17
  hard
• 46:17
  for
• 46:17
  the
• 46:18
  kid
• 46:18
  because
• 46:18
  that's
• 46:18
  also
• 46:19
  just
• 46:19
  devastating
• 46:20
  and,
• 46:20
  like,
• 46:21
  awful.
• 46:21
  And
• 46:22
  as
• 46:22
  a
• 46:22
  parent,
• 46:22
  it's
• 46:23
  devastating
• 46:23
  and
• 46:23
  awful
• 46:24
  to
• 46:24
  watch
• 46:24
  it
• 46:24
  and
• 46:25
  feel
• 46:25
  it.
• 46:26
  And
• 46:26
  so
• 46:27
  when
• 46:27
  that
• 46:27
  happens,
• 46:29
  I
• 46:29
  think.
• 46:30
  And
• 46:31
  enough
• 46:31
  of
• 46:31
  those
• 46:31
  things
• 46:32
  happen
• 46:32
  over
• 46:33
  time.
• 46:34
  You're
• 46:34
  in
• 46:34
  a
• 46:35
  constant
• 46:35
  state
• 46:36
  as
• 46:36
  a
• 46:36
  parent
• 46:36
  of
• 46:37
  being
• 46:37
  like,
• 46:38
  well,
• 46:38
  am
• 46:38
  I
• 46:39
  a
• 46:39
  good
• 46:39
  parent?
• 46:39
  Like,
• 46:40
  did
• 46:40
  I
• 46:40
  do
• 46:40
  something
• 46:40
  wrong?
• 46:41
  Because
• 46:41
  that's
• 46:42
  kind
• 46:42
  of
• 46:42
  a
• 46:42
  natural
• 46:43
  place.
• 46:43
  I
• 46:43
  think
• 46:44
  people
• 46:44
  go
• 46:44
  a
• 46:45
  lot
• 46:45
  of
• 46:45
  times.
• 46:46
  And
• 46:46
  so
• 46:46
  this
• 46:47
  idea,
• 46:47
  when
• 46:47
  in
• 46:48
  any
• 46:48
  of
• 46:48
  these
• 46:48
  books
• 46:49
  or
• 46:49
  anyone's
• 46:50
  coming
• 46:50
  in
• 46:50
  and
• 46:50
  saying,
• 46:51
  well,
• 46:51
  maybe
• 46:51
  you
• 46:52
  could
• 46:52
  do
• 46:52
  this
• 46:52
  or
• 46:52
  maybe
• 46:53
  you
• 46:53
  could
• 46:53
  do
• 46:53
  that,
• 46:53
  and
• 46:54
  you're
• 46:54
  like,
• 46:54
  man,
• 46:55
  I've
• 46:55
  tried
• 46:55
  everything.
• 46:56
  I
• 46:57
  feel
• 46:57
  like
• 46:57
  I've
• 46:57
  tried
• 46:57
  every.
• 46:58
  I
• 46:58
  feel
• 46:58
  like
• 46:58
  I've
• 46:58
  put
• 46:58
  it
• 46:59
  out
• 46:59
  on
• 46:59
  the
• 46:59
  line.
• 46:59
  I
• 47:00
  feel
• 47:00
  like
• 47:00
  I've
• 47:00
  done
• 47:00
  everything
• 47:01
  I
• 47:01
  can
• 47:01
  do.
• 47:02
  So
• 47:03
  it
• 47:03
  isn't
• 47:03
  usually
• 47:04
  true,
• 47:05
  right?
• 47:05
  Like,
• 47:05
  it
• 47:06
  isn't
• 47:06
  actually
• 47:07
  that
• 47:07
  you've
• 47:08
  done
• 47:08
  everything,
• 47:09
  because,
• 47:09
  you
• 47:10
  know,
• 47:10
  staying
• 47:10
  curious
• 47:11
  is
• 47:11
  part
• 47:11
  of
• 47:11
  the
• 47:12
  challenge,
• 47:12
  like,
• 47:13
  of
• 47:13
  I'm
• 47:13
  gonna
• 47:14
  have
• 47:14
  to
• 47:14
  continue
• 47:14
  to
• 47:15
  see,
• 47:15
  like,
• 47:15
  is
• 47:15
  there
• 47:16
  another
• 47:16
  way
• 47:16
  to
• 47:16
  do
• 47:16
  this?
• 47:16
  Is
• 47:17
  there
• 47:17
  another
• 47:17
  way
• 47:17
  to
• 47:17
  think
• 47:17
  of
• 47:18
  this?
• 47:18
  And
• 47:19
  I
• 47:20
  think
• 47:20
  the
• 47:21
  triggers
• 47:21
  and
• 47:22
  the
• 47:22
  reactivity
• 47:23
  piece,
• 47:23
  for
• 47:23
  me,
• 47:25
  they
• 47:25
  still
• 47:25
  happen,
• 47:26
  right?
• 47:27
  It
• 47:27
  still
• 47:28
  occurs.
• 47:28
  It
• 47:28
  occurred
• 47:29
  last
• 47:29
  night.
• 47:29
  It
• 47:29
  occurred
• 47:30
  the
• 47:30
  night
• 47:30
  before.
• 47:31
  And
• 47:31
  so
• 47:31
  having
• 47:32
  to
• 47:32
  own
• 47:32
  that
• 47:32
  and
• 47:33
  go
• 47:33
  like,
• 47:33
  oh,
• 47:33
  I'm
• 47:34
  looking
• 47:34
  at
• 47:34
  this
• 47:34
  part
• 47:34
  of
• 47:35
  myself
• 47:35
  in
• 47:35
  this
• 47:35
  mirror
• 47:36
  that
• 47:36
  doesn't
• 47:36
  look
• 47:37
  very
• 47:37
  good.
• 47:38
  It
• 47:39
  looks
• 47:39
  kind
• 47:39
  of
• 47:39
  messy.
• 47:41
  And
• 47:41
  so
• 47:42
  then
• 47:43
  saying,
• 47:43
  yeah,
• 47:44
  it's
• 47:44
  going
• 47:44
  to
• 47:45
  be
• 47:45
  messy
• 47:45
  sometimes,
• 47:46
  and
• 47:46
  giving
• 47:46
  space
• 47:46
  to
• 47:47
  myself
• 47:47
  as
• 47:47
  much
• 47:48
  as
• 47:48
  to
• 47:48
  Josh,
• 47:49
  that
• 47:49
  this
• 47:50
  is
• 47:50
  going
• 47:50
  to
• 47:50
  be,
• 47:50
  I
• 47:50
  think,
• 47:50
  is
• 47:51
  a
• 47:51
  beautiful
• 47:51
  thing
• 47:52
  to
• 47:52
  say
• 47:52
  and
• 47:52
  a
• 47:53
  beautiful
• 47:53
  thing
• 47:53
  to
• 47:53
  think
• 47:54
  about
• 47:54
  how
• 47:54
  to
• 47:55
  do
• 47:55
  and
• 47:56
  how
• 47:56
  to
• 47:56
  operationalize
• 47:57
  that.
• 47:57
  How
• 47:57
  do
• 47:57
  you
• 47:57
  do
• 47:57
  that
• 47:57
  in
• 47:57
  your
• 47:58
  family?
• 47:58
  Do
• 47:58
  you
• 47:58
  just
• 47:58
  simply
• 47:59
  sit
• 47:59
  down
• 47:59
  at
• 47:59
  dinner
• 47:59
  and
• 48:00
  say,
• 48:00
  listen,
• 48:01
  from
• 48:01
  now
• 48:01
  on?
• 48:02
  I
• 48:03
  remember
• 48:03
  we
• 48:03
  had
• 48:03
  a
• 48:03
  teacher
• 48:04
  who
• 48:04
  taught
• 48:04
  middle
• 48:05
  school,
• 48:05
  and
• 48:05
  she
• 48:05
  just
• 48:05
  made
• 48:06
  a
• 48:06
  place
• 48:06
  in
• 48:07
  her
• 48:08
  classroom
• 48:08
  called
• 48:08
  Australia.
• 48:10
  And
• 48:10
  it
• 48:10
  was
• 48:11
  from
• 48:11
  the
• 48:11
  book,
• 48:11
  like,
• 48:12
  I've
• 48:12
  had
• 48:12
  a
• 48:12
  no
• 48:12
  good,
• 48:13
  terrible,
• 48:14
  terrible,
• 48:15
  no
• 48:15
  good,
• 48:15
  very
• 48:16
  bad
• 48:16
  day,
• 48:17
  and
• 48:17
  I
• 48:17
  just
• 48:17
  want
• 48:17
  to
• 48:17
  go
• 48:18
  to
• 48:18
  Australia.
• 48:19
  And
• 48:19
  so
• 48:19
  she
• 48:19
  just
• 48:20
  made
• 48:20
  a
• 48:20
  space.
• 48:20
  She
• 48:21
  literally
• 48:21
  put
• 48:21
  a
• 48:21
  map
• 48:21
  of
• 48:22
  Australia
• 48:22
  in
• 48:22
  the
• 48:23
  corner
• 48:23
  of
• 48:23
  her
• 48:23
  room.
• 48:23
  And
• 48:23
  she
• 48:23
  said,
• 48:24
  sometimes
• 48:24
  we
• 48:24
  just
• 48:24
  need
• 48:24
  to
• 48:25
  go
• 48:25
  to
• 48:25
  Australia.
• 48:26
  And,
• 48:26
  like,
• 48:26
  if
• 48:26
  you
• 48:27
  are
• 48:27
  having
• 48:27
  that
• 48:27
  kind
• 48:27
  of
• 48:28
  day,
• 48:28
  then
• 48:28
  go
• 48:28
  there.
• 48:28
  And
• 48:29
  it
• 48:29
  always
• 48:29
  makes
• 48:29
  me
• 48:29
  kind
• 48:29
  of
• 48:30
  teary
• 48:30
  when
• 48:30
  I
• 48:30
  think
• 48:30
  of
• 48:30
  it,
• 48:30
  because
• 48:31
  she
• 48:31
  made
• 48:31
  space
• 48:33
  for
• 48:33
  the
• 48:34
  kids
• 48:35
  to
• 48:35
  have
• 48:35
  a
• 48:35
  messy
• 48:36
  day,
• 48:36
  to
• 48:37
  have
• 48:37
  a
• 48:37
  day
• 48:37
  that
• 48:38
  who
• 48:38
  knows
• 48:38
  what
• 48:38
  happened,
• 48:39
  right?
• 48:39
  Maybe
• 48:39
  they
• 48:39
  got
• 48:40
  yelled
• 48:40
  at
• 48:40
  before
• 48:40
  they,
• 48:41
  you
• 48:41
  know,
• 48:41
  by
• 48:42
  their
• 48:42
  Parent
• 48:42
  or
• 48:42
  maybe
• 48:43
  they
• 48:43
  missed
• 48:43
  the
• 48:43
  bus,
• 48:43
  or
• 48:44
  maybe
• 48:44
  they,
• 48:44
  you
• 48:44
  know,
• 48:45
  who
• 48:45
  knows,
• 48:45
  whatever
• 48:45
  was
• 48:46
  going
• 48:46
  on.
• 48:46
  So
• 48:47
  I
• 48:47
  like
• 48:47
  that
• 48:47
  idea
• 48:48
  of
• 48:48
  creating
• 48:49
  that
• 48:49
  space
• 48:50
  somehow,
• 48:51
  whether
• 48:51
  it's
• 48:51
  physically
• 48:52
  or
• 48:52
  just
• 48:53
  an
• 48:53
  acknowledged
• 48:54
  thing
• 48:54
  that
• 48:55
  we're
• 48:55
  gonna
• 48:55
  sometimes
• 48:56
  have
• 48:56
  messy
• 48:57
  days.
• 48:57
  And
• 48:57
  I,
• 48:58
  I
• 48:58
  like
• 48:58
  having
• 48:58
  language
• 48:59
  or
• 49:00
  something
• 49:00
  specific
• 49:00
  around
• 49:01
  it.
• 49:01
  So
• 49:02
  it's
• 49:02
  a
• 49:02
  shorthand.
• 49:03
  And
• 49:04
  I
• 49:04
  think
• 49:04
  that's
• 49:04
  beautiful.
• 49:06
  Yeah.
• 49:06
  And
• 49:06
  like,
• 49:07
  I,
• 49:07
  I
• 49:07
  think,
• 49:07
  like,
• 49:08
  for
• 49:08
  me,
• 49:08
  you
• 49:08
  know,
• 49:09
  I
• 49:09
  would
• 49:12
  as
• 49:12
  like
• 49:13
  the
• 49:13
  adult,
• 49:13
  I've
• 49:14
  done
• 49:14
  this
• 49:14
  sometimes,
• 49:14
  like
• 49:15
  with
• 49:15
  Emma,
• 49:15
  you
• 49:15
  know,
• 49:15
  we're
• 49:16
  like,
• 49:16
  we're
• 49:16
  trying
• 49:16
  to
• 49:16
  teach
• 49:17
  her
• 49:17
  something.
• 49:17
  And
• 49:17
  so
• 49:17
  then
• 49:18
  I,
• 49:19
  I
• 49:19
  find
• 49:19
  ways
• 49:20
  that
• 49:20
  I
• 49:20
  can
• 49:22
  show
• 49:22
  her
• 49:22
  that
• 49:23
  I'm
• 49:23
  also
• 49:23
  doing
• 49:23
  the
• 49:24
  same
• 49:24
  things.
• 49:24
  Like,
• 49:24
  if
• 49:24
  I
• 49:24
  had
• 49:25
  in
• 49:25
  Australia,
• 49:26
  then,
• 49:26
  you
• 49:27
  know,
• 49:27
  I
• 49:27
  would
• 49:27
  try
• 49:28
  with,
• 49:28
  like,
• 49:28
  small
• 49:28
  things.
• 49:29
  I
• 49:29
  wouldn't
• 49:29
  do
• 49:29
  it
• 49:29
  with
• 49:29
  like,
• 49:29
  all
• 49:30
  the
• 49:30
  big,
• 49:30
  big
• 49:30
  stuff
• 49:31
  just
• 49:31
  right
• 49:31
  off
• 49:31
  the
• 49:31
  bat.
• 49:32
  But,
• 49:32
  like,
• 49:32
  I
• 49:32
  would
• 49:32
  start
• 49:32
  with,
• 49:32
  like,
• 49:33
  small
• 49:33
  things
• 49:33
  that
• 49:33
  I
• 49:33
  knew
• 49:33
  were
• 49:34
  really
• 49:34
  hard
• 49:34
  for
• 49:34
  me,
• 49:35
  that
• 49:36
  I
• 49:36
  would
• 49:37
  then
• 49:37
  put
• 49:37
  myself
• 49:37
  into
• 49:38
  Australia.
• 49:39
  And
• 49:39
  I
• 49:39
  would
• 49:39
  say,
• 49:39
  I
• 49:40
  would
• 49:40
  go
• 49:40
  to,
• 49:40
  I
• 49:40
  would
• 49:41
  go
• 49:41
  to
• 49:41
  Brian
• 49:41
  and
• 49:41
  be
• 49:41
  like,
• 49:42
  hey,
• 49:42
  by
• 49:42
  the
• 49:42
  way,
• 49:42
  like,
• 49:42
  I'm
• 49:42
  putting
• 49:43
  myself
• 49:43
  in
• 49:43
  Australia
• 49:43
  right
• 49:44
  now.
• 49:44
  And
• 49:44
  then
• 49:45
  it
• 49:45
  would
• 49:45
  give
• 49:45
  a
• 49:46
  chance
• 49:46
  to,
• 49:46
  like,
• 49:46
  talk
• 49:47
  to
• 49:47
  them
• 49:47
  about,
• 49:47
  like,
• 49:48
  why
• 49:48
  and
• 49:48
  like,
• 49:48
  what's
• 49:49
  going
• 49:49
  on,
• 49:49
  like,
• 49:49
  in
• 49:49
  whatever,
• 49:50
  you
• 49:50
  know,
• 49:50
  age
• 49:51
  appropriate
• 49:51
  manner
• 49:51
  it
• 49:52
  is.
• 49:52
  But
• 49:53
  being
• 49:54
  able
• 49:54
  to,
• 49:54
  like,
• 49:56
  being
• 49:57
  able
• 49:57
  to
• 49:57
  like,
• 49:57
  talk
• 49:57
  about
• 49:58
  it
• 49:58
  and,
• 49:59
  and
• 49:59
  discuss
• 49:59
  it
• 50:00
  and
• 50:01
  also
• 50:01
  see
• 50:02
  the
• 50:02
  parent,
• 50:03
  like
• 50:03
  the
• 50:03
  adults
• 50:04
  around
• 50:04
  me
• 50:04
  doing
• 50:04
  that,
• 50:05
  I
• 50:05
  think
• 50:05
  is
• 50:05
  like,
• 50:06
  it's
• 50:07
  just
• 50:07
  such
• 50:07
  a,
• 50:07
  it's
• 50:08
  such
• 50:08
  a
• 50:08
  freeing
• 50:09
  thing
• 50:09
  because
• 50:09
  it
• 50:09
  just
• 50:09
  feels
• 50:10
  like,
• 50:10
  you
• 50:11
  know,
• 50:11
  growing
• 50:11
  up,
• 50:11
  it
• 50:11
  felt
• 50:11
  like
• 50:12
  all
• 50:12
  the
• 50:12
  adults
• 50:13
  had
• 50:13
  it
• 50:13
  figured
• 50:13
  out
• 50:13
  and
• 50:14
  that,
• 50:14
  like,
• 50:14
  I
• 50:14
  would
• 50:15
  maybe
• 50:15
  someday
• 50:16
  figure
• 50:16
  it
• 50:16
  out.
• 50:17
  So
• 50:17
  then,
• 50:17
  like,
• 50:17
  when,
• 50:18
  like
• 50:18
  when
• 50:18
  I
• 50:18
  became
• 50:19
  an
• 50:19
  adult,
• 50:19
  somehow
• 50:19
  I
• 50:20
  would
• 50:20
  figure
• 50:20
  it
• 50:20
  out.
• 50:20
  And
• 50:20
  then
• 50:21
  when
• 50:21
  I
• 50:21
  became
• 50:21
  an
• 50:21
  adult
• 50:21
  and
• 50:22
  I
• 50:22
  hadn't
• 50:22
  figured
• 50:22
  it
• 50:22
  out
• 50:22
  then
• 50:23
  it
• 50:23
  was
• 50:23
  like,
• 50:24
  I
• 50:24
  just
• 50:24
  felt
• 50:25
  like
• 50:25
  a
• 50:26
  total
• 50:26
  and
• 50:26
  utter
• 50:27
  failure.
• 50:28
  And
• 50:29
  I
• 50:29
  think,
• 50:29
  like,
• 50:30
  being
• 50:30
  able
• 50:30
  to
• 50:30
  see
• 50:31
  that
• 50:31
  the
• 50:31
  people
• 50:31
  that
• 50:32
  the
• 50:32
  people
• 50:32
  around
• 50:32
  you
• 50:33
  who
• 50:33
  are
• 50:33
  supposed
• 50:33
  to,
• 50:33
  like,
• 50:33
  know
• 50:34
  it
• 50:34
  all
• 50:34
  and
• 50:34
  have
• 50:34
  it
• 50:34
  all
• 50:34
  figured
• 50:35
  out,
• 50:35
  that
• 50:35
  they
• 50:35
  don't
• 50:35
  always
• 50:36
  have
• 50:36
  it
• 50:36
  all
• 50:36
  figured
• 50:36
  out,
• 50:36
  but
• 50:36
  it's
• 50:37
  how
• 50:37
  they
• 50:37
  deal
• 50:37
  with
• 50:37
  it.
• 50:38
  Like,
• 50:38
  gosh,
• 50:38
  that
• 50:38
  would
• 50:38
  have
• 50:39
  been
• 50:39
  so
• 50:39
  freaking
• 50:40
  helpful
• 50:40
  for
• 50:40
  me.
• 50:41
  Yeah.
• 50:42
  And
• 50:43
  I,
• 50:43
  I,
• 50:44
  that's
• 50:44
  the
• 50:44
  part
• 50:44
  where
• 50:46
  it,
• 50:46
  it's
• 50:47
  like,
• 50:47
  you're
• 50:47
  right.
• 50:47
  Like,
• 50:48
  adulting
• 50:48
  yourself
• 50:49
  is
• 50:49
  just
• 50:49
  as
• 50:49
  important
• 50:50
  as
• 50:52
  adults.
• 50:52
  Like,
• 50:52
  teaching
• 50:53
  your
• 50:53
  kids
• 50:53
  to
• 50:53
  become
• 50:53
  adults.
• 50:56
  Yeah.
• 50:56
  And
• 50:56
  I
• 50:57
  think
• 50:57
  that's,
• 50:57
  you
• 50:57
  know,
• 50:58
  as
• 50:58
  we're
• 50:58
  talking
• 50:59
  about
• 50:59
  it,
• 51:00
  you
• 51:00
  know,
• 51:01
  again,
• 51:01
  she
• 51:01
  brings
• 51:02
  up
• 51:02
  this
• 51:02
  thing
• 51:02
  in
• 51:02
  the
• 51:02
  chapter
• 51:03
  about
• 51:05
  that
• 51:05
  it
• 51:05
  becomes
• 51:06
  if
• 51:06
  everyone
• 51:07
  can
• 51:07
  lose
• 51:08
  it
• 51:09
  at
• 51:09
  some
• 51:09
  point,
• 51:09
  but
• 51:10
  we
• 51:10
  all
• 51:10
  have
• 51:11
  sort
• 51:12
  of
• 51:12
  a
• 51:12
  way
• 51:12
  or
• 51:14
  methods
• 51:15
  to
• 51:15
  start
• 51:16
  to
• 51:16
  regulate
• 51:17
  ourselves
• 51:18
  that
• 51:18
  are
• 51:18
  acceptable,
• 51:20
  that,
• 51:20
  you
• 51:20
  know,
• 51:20
  that
• 51:21
  are
• 51:21
  things
• 51:21
  that
• 51:22
  we
• 51:22
  talk
• 51:22
  about,
• 51:22
  of
• 51:23
  strategies.
• 51:25
  Then
• 51:25
  it
• 51:25
  becomes
• 51:26
  a
• 51:26
  partnership.
• 51:27
  And
• 51:27
  I
• 51:27
  think
• 51:27
  what
• 51:28
  you're
• 51:28
  speaking
• 51:28
  to
• 51:29
  is
• 51:30
  how
• 51:31
  much
• 51:31
  less
• 51:31
  alone
• 51:32
  you
• 51:32
  would
• 51:32
  have
• 51:32
  felt.
• 51:34
  Yeah.
• 51:34
  In
• 51:35
  it.
• 51:35
  Right.
• 51:35
  And
• 51:36
  how
• 51:36
  alone
• 51:37
  our
• 51:37
  kids
• 51:37
  and
• 51:38
  ourselves.
• 51:38
  Like,
• 51:39
  I
• 51:39
  mean,
• 51:39
  we
• 51:39
  ourselves
• 51:40
  kind
• 51:40
  of
• 51:40
  feel
• 51:41
  in
• 51:41
  this
• 51:41
  when.
• 51:42
  When
• 51:42
  we
• 51:43
  don't
• 51:43
  acknowledge
• 51:44
  and
• 51:45
  find
• 51:45
  a
• 51:46
  way
• 51:46
  to
• 51:46
  talk
• 51:46
  about
• 51:47
  these
• 51:47
  things
• 51:47
  out
• 51:48
  loud.
• 51:50
  And
• 51:50
  I
• 51:50
  think
• 51:51
  in
• 51:51
  a
• 51:51
  way
• 51:51
  that
• 51:53
  is
• 51:53
  also
• 51:54
  extremely
• 51:56
  kind
• 51:57
  to
• 51:58
  ourselves,
• 51:58
  because
• 51:59
  if
• 51:59
  we're
• 51:59
  not
• 51:59
  kind
• 51:59
  to
• 51:59
  ourselves,
• 52:00
  and
• 52:00
  I
• 52:00
  find
• 52:00
  that
• 52:00
  that's
• 52:01
  one
• 52:02
  of
• 52:02
  the
• 52:02
  pieces
• 52:02
  that
• 52:02
  I've
• 52:03
  been
• 52:03
  learning
• 52:03
  in
• 52:03
  this
• 52:04
  book
• 52:04
  is
• 52:04
  just,
• 52:04
  like,
• 52:05
  how
• 52:05
  unkind
• 52:05
  I
• 52:06
  have
• 52:06
  been
• 52:06
  to
• 52:06
  myself
• 52:06
  as
• 52:07
  a
• 52:07
  parent.
• 52:07
  And
• 52:08
  you're
• 52:08
  always
• 52:08
  the
• 52:08
  first
• 52:09
  one
• 52:09
  to
• 52:09
  defend
• 52:09
  me,
• 52:09
  which
• 52:10
  is
• 52:10
  so
• 52:10
  sweet
• 52:11
  and
• 52:11
  kind
• 52:12
  of
• 52:12
  you
• 52:13
  to
• 52:13
  do.
• 52:13
  And
• 52:13
  I
• 52:14
  haven't
• 52:14
  really
• 52:14
  been
• 52:14
  able
• 52:15
  to,
• 52:15
  like,
• 52:15
  accept
• 52:16
  it
• 52:16
  fully.
• 52:17
  Right.
• 52:17
  And
• 52:18
  so
• 52:18
  that's
• 52:18
  like,
• 52:18
  the
• 52:18
  thing
• 52:19
  that
• 52:19
  I've
• 52:19
  been
• 52:19
  kind
• 52:19
  of
• 52:20
  working
• 52:20
  on.
• 52:21
  I
• 52:21
  don't
• 52:21
  even
• 52:22
  think
• 52:22
  consciously,
• 52:22
  but
• 52:23
  just
• 52:23
  as
• 52:23
  we've
• 52:23
  been
• 52:23
  going
• 52:23
  through
• 52:24
  this
• 52:25
  and
• 52:25
  then
• 52:25
  the
• 52:25
  idea
• 52:26
  that
• 52:26
  if
• 52:26
  I
• 52:26
  can't
• 52:27
  be
• 52:27
  kind
• 52:27
  to
• 52:27
  myself,
• 52:27
  I'm
• 52:28
  probably
• 52:28
  not
• 52:28
  going
• 52:28
  to
• 52:28
  be
• 52:28
  kind
• 52:29
  to
• 52:29
  my
• 52:29
  kid
• 52:29
  about
• 52:30
  these
• 52:30
  things.
• 52:30
  And
• 52:30
  not
• 52:31
  because
• 52:31
  I
• 52:32
  want
• 52:32
  to
• 52:32
  be
• 52:33
  unkind,
• 52:34
  but
• 52:34
  I
• 52:34
  just
• 52:35
  haven't
• 52:35
  been
• 52:35
  curious
• 52:36
  enough
• 52:36
  to
• 52:36
  know,
• 52:39
  think
• 52:39
  of
• 52:39
  ways
• 52:40
  to
• 52:40
  be
• 52:40
  kinder
• 52:41
  to
• 52:41
  myself
• 52:41
  around
• 52:42
  these
• 52:43
  things.
• 52:43
  And
• 52:43
  these
• 52:43
  stories
• 52:44
  that
• 52:44
  I've
• 52:44
  been
• 52:44
  telling
• 52:45
  myself,
• 52:47
  very
• 52:47
  deep
• 52:47
  stories.
• 52:48
  Right.
• 52:48
  Like,
• 52:48
  we
• 52:49
  started
• 52:49
  with
• 52:49
  the
• 52:49
  story
• 52:49
  of
• 52:49
  me
• 52:50
  being
• 52:50
  worried
• 52:50
  he's
• 52:50
  gonna
• 52:51
  be,
• 52:51
  like,
• 52:51
  homeless
• 52:51
  and
• 52:52
  shooting
• 52:52
  hero
• 52:52
  into
• 52:53
  his
• 52:53
  eyeballs.
• 52:54
  That's
• 52:54
  where
• 52:55
  my
• 52:55
  trigger
• 52:55
  would
• 52:55
  go
• 52:56
  initially,
• 52:56
  you
• 52:57
  know,
• 52:57
  and
• 52:57
  then
• 52:57
  it's
• 52:57
  to
• 52:58
  the
• 52:58
  like,
• 52:58
  well,
• 52:59
  okay,
• 52:59
  is
• 52:59
  he
• 53:00
  going
• 53:00
  to
• 53:00
  be
• 53:00
  able
• 53:00
  to
• 53:00
  make
• 53:01
  it
• 53:01
  through
• 53:01
  college?
• 53:02
  Right.
• 53:02
  And
• 53:02
  then
• 53:02
  now
• 53:03
  it's
• 53:03
  like,
• 53:03
  well,
• 53:03
  of
• 53:04
  course
• 53:04
  he
• 53:04
  will,
• 53:05
  but
• 53:05
  he
• 53:06
  needs
• 53:06
  to
• 53:06
  figure
• 53:07
  out
• 53:07
  what
• 53:07
  he
• 53:08
  does,
• 53:09
  what
• 53:09
  he
• 53:09
  is
• 53:10
  most
• 53:10
  interested
• 53:10
  and
• 53:11
  passionate
• 53:11
  about,
• 53:12
  because
• 53:13
  that's
• 53:14
  really
• 53:14
  his
• 53:14
  gift.
• 53:16
  But
• 53:17
  it's
• 53:17
  also
• 53:17
  the
• 53:17
  thing
• 53:18
  that
• 53:18
  if
• 53:18
  he
• 53:18
  doesn't
• 53:18
  take
• 53:19
  that
• 53:19
  seriously,
• 53:20
  he's.
• 53:20
  He
• 53:21
  will
• 53:21
  struggle
• 53:22
  more
• 53:22
  so
• 53:23
  because
• 53:24
  when
• 53:24
  he's
• 53:25
  not
• 53:25
  interested
• 53:25
  in
• 53:25
  something,
• 53:26
  it's
• 53:26
  darn
• 53:26
  near
• 53:27
  impossible
• 53:27
  for
• 53:27
  him
• 53:27
  to
• 53:27
  get
• 53:28
  motivated
• 53:28
  to
• 53:28
  do
• 53:28
  it.
• 53:29
  And
• 53:29
  that's
• 53:29
  neurological.
• 53:31
  Right.
• 53:32
  And
• 53:32
  that's
• 53:33
  very
• 53:33
  different
• 53:33
  than,
• 53:34
  I
• 53:34
  think,
• 53:34
  where
• 53:35
  we
• 53:35
  started
• 53:36
  so
• 53:37
  many
• 53:37
  months
• 53:38
  back,
• 53:38
  when
• 53:38
  I
• 53:39
  was
• 53:39
  saying
• 53:39
  things
• 53:39
  like,
• 53:39
  well,
• 53:40
  he
• 53:40
  can't
• 53:40
  do
• 53:40
  this,
• 53:41
  he
• 53:41
  can't
• 53:41
  do
• 53:41
  that.
• 53:42
  Like,
• 53:42
  that's
• 53:43
  not
• 53:43
  the
• 53:43
  really
• 53:44
  even
• 53:44
  an
• 53:44
  important
• 53:45
  way
• 53:45
  to
• 53:45
  frame
• 53:45
  it.
• 53:46
  It's
• 53:46
  that,
• 53:47
  what
• 53:48
  can
• 53:48
  he
• 53:48
  do?
• 53:49
  So,
• 53:49
  again,
• 53:49
  a
• 53:50
  disability
• 53:50
  mindset
• 53:51
  to
• 53:51
  it,
• 53:51
  in
• 53:52
  a
• 53:52
  sense.
• 53:52
  Like,
• 53:53
  but
• 53:53
  what
• 53:53
  can
• 53:54
  he
• 53:54
  do
• 53:54
  versus,
• 53:55
  like,
• 53:55
  what
• 53:55
  are
• 53:55
  we
• 53:55
  not
• 53:56
  going
• 53:56
  to
• 53:56
  ask
• 53:56
  him
• 53:56
  to
• 53:56
  do?
• 53:56
  Because
• 53:57
  that
• 53:57
  doesn't
• 53:57
  make
• 53:57
  sense.
• 53:58
  Because
• 53:58
  that's
• 53:58
  the
• 53:58
  part
• 53:59
  his
• 53:59
  brain
• 54:00
  needs
• 54:00
  support
• 54:01
  with.
• 54:02
  And
• 54:03
  you
• 54:03
  know,
• 54:04
  you
• 54:04
  cleaning
• 54:05
  your
• 54:05
  house,
• 54:06
  like,
• 54:06
  why
• 54:07
  are
• 54:07
  we
• 54:07
  ever
• 54:07
  going
• 54:08
  to
• 54:08
  say
• 54:08
  that's
• 54:08
  the
• 54:08
  most
• 54:09
  important
• 54:09
  thing
• 54:09
  that
• 54:09
  you
• 54:09
  learn
• 54:10
  how
• 54:10
  to
• 54:10
  do
• 54:11
  or
• 54:11
  do
• 54:11
  on
• 54:12
  a
• 54:12
  daily
• 54:12
  basis?
• 54:13
  Like,
• 54:13
  you
• 54:13
  need
• 54:13
  support
• 54:14
  with
• 54:14
  that.
• 54:14
  That
• 54:14
  just
• 54:15
  seems
• 54:15
  like
• 54:15
  that
• 54:16
  makes
• 54:16
  sense.
• 54:16
  And
• 54:17
  then
• 54:17
  now
• 54:17
  you
• 54:17
  can
• 54:17
  go
• 54:18
  about
• 54:18
  your
• 54:18
  day
• 54:18
  doing
• 54:18
  all
• 54:19
  the
• 54:19
  things
• 54:19
  that
• 54:20
  you're
• 54:20
  very
• 54:21
  passionate
• 54:21
  about
• 54:21
  and
• 54:21
  very
• 54:22
  good
• 54:22
  at
• 54:22
  and
• 54:22
  everyone
• 54:22
  from
• 54:23
  the
• 54:23
  world
• 54:23
  benefits
• 54:24
  right
• 54:24
  when
• 54:24
  you
• 54:24
  do.
• 54:25
  So
• 54:26
  I
• 54:26
  don't
• 54:26
  know,
• 54:26
  I
• 54:27
  feel
• 54:27
  like
• 54:27
  I'm
• 54:28
  turning
• 54:28
  a
• 54:28
  corner.
• 54:29
  But
• 54:29
  it's
• 54:30
  been,
• 54:30
  I
• 54:31
  mean,
• 54:31
  this
• 54:31
  has
• 54:31
  been
• 54:31
  the
• 54:31
  book
• 54:32
  for
• 54:32
  me.
• 54:32
  That's
• 54:32
  like,
• 54:33
  it's
• 54:33
  rough,
• 54:34
  you
• 54:34
  know,
• 54:34
  like,
• 54:35
  I
• 54:35
  have
• 54:35
  to
• 54:35
  like
• 54:35
  really
• 54:36
  get
• 54:36
  in
• 54:37
  there.
• 54:37
  I
• 54:37
  got
• 54:37
  to
• 54:37
  get
• 54:37
  in
• 54:37
  the
• 54:37
  weeds.
• 54:38
  There's
• 54:38
  all
• 54:38
  these
• 54:39
  little
• 54:39
  weeds
• 54:39
  we're
• 54:39
  just
• 54:40
  pulling.
• 54:40
  You
• 54:40
  were
• 54:40
  pulling
• 54:40
  weeds
• 54:41
  yesterday
• 54:41
  when
• 54:41
  we
• 54:41
  were
• 54:42
  doing
• 54:42
  our
• 54:42
  15
• 54:42
  minutes
• 54:43
  together.
• 54:43
  There
• 54:44
  is
• 54:44
  just
• 54:44
  a
• 54:44
  lot
• 54:44
  of
• 54:44
  weeds
• 54:45
  in
• 54:45
  there
• 54:45
  that
• 54:45
  have
• 54:46
  to
• 54:46
  get
• 54:46
  sifted
• 54:47
  through
• 54:47
  and
• 54:47
  like,
• 54:47
  be
• 54:48
  like,
• 54:48
  nope,
• 54:48
  that's,
• 54:48
  that's,
• 54:49
  that
• 54:49
  doesn't
• 54:49
  belong
• 54:49
  there
• 54:50
  anymore.
• 54:50
  That,
• 54:50
  that
• 54:51
  belief
• 54:51
  system
• 54:51
  doesn't
• 54:51
  need
• 54:52
  to
• 54:52
  stay
• 54:52
  there
• 54:52
  anymore.
• 54:52
  But
• 54:53
  man,
• 54:53
  it's
• 54:54
  tough.
• 54:55
  So
• 54:55
  tough.
• 54:56
  It's
• 54:56
  so
• 54:56
  hard.
• 54:58
  It
• 54:58
  is
• 54:58
  so
• 54:59
  hard.
• 54:59
  That's
• 54:59
  why
• 54:59
  I
• 54:59
  like
• 55:00
  these,
• 55:00
  this
• 55:00
  book,
• 55:00
  like,
• 55:01
  while
• 55:01
  it's,
• 55:01
  you
• 55:01
  know,
• 55:01
  got
• 55:02
  great
• 55:02
  information,
• 55:02
  it's
• 55:03
  like,
• 55:03
  it
• 55:03
  doesn't.
• 55:04
  It's
• 55:05
  just
• 55:05
  like,
• 55:05
  it
• 55:05
  goes
• 55:05
  from
• 55:05
  like,
• 55:06
  okay,
• 55:06
  you're
• 55:06
  gonna
• 55:06
  do
• 55:07
  this
• 55:07
  and
• 55:07
  do
• 55:07
  that,
• 55:07
  and
• 55:07
  it's
• 55:08
  like,
• 55:08
  but
• 55:08
  going
• 55:08
  from
• 55:09
  this
• 55:09
  to
• 55:09
  that,
• 55:09
  that
• 55:09
  can,
• 55:10
  that
• 55:10
  it's
• 55:10
  gonna,
• 55:11
  that's
• 55:11
  like
• 55:11
  a
• 55:11
  whole
• 55:12
  year
• 55:12
  long
• 55:12
  process.
• 55:14
  It's
• 55:14
  not
• 55:14
  as
• 55:14
  simple
• 55:15
  as
• 55:15
  it
• 55:15
  seems.
• 55:16
  No,
• 55:18
  it
• 55:18
  is
• 55:19
  not
• 55:19
  as
• 55:19
  simple
• 55:19
  as
• 55:19
  it
• 55:19
  seems.
• 55:21
  Absolutely.
• 55:22
  Well,
• 55:22
  thank
• 55:23
  you
• 55:23
  for
• 55:23
  talking
• 55:23
  me
• 55:24
  through
• 55:24
  all
• 55:24
  this
• 55:24
  today.
• 55:25
  Thanks
• 55:25
  for
• 55:26
  being
• 55:26
  here
• 55:26
  with
• 55:27
  me
• 55:27
  too.
• 55:27
  I
• 55:27
  appreciate
• 55:28
  it.
• 55:28
  Yeah,
• 55:29
  love
• 55:29
  you.
• 55:30
  I
• 55:30
  love
• 55:30
  you
• 55:30
  too.
• 55:31
  Bye.
• 55:32
  Bye.
• 55:39
  Thanks
• 55:40
  for
• 55:40
  listening
• 55:40
  to
• 55:40
  the
• 55:40
  Spicy
• 55:41
  Brain
• 55:41
  Podcast,
• 55:42
  brought
• 55:42
  to
• 55:42
  you
• 55:42
  by
• 55:42
  Spicy
• 55:43
  Brain
• 55:43
  Studios.
• 55:45
  This
• 55:45
  journey
• 55:45
  today
• 55:46
  we've
• 55:46
  been
• 55:46
  working
• 55:46
  through
• 55:47
  the
• 55:47
  shame
• 55:47
  and
• 55:47
  blame
• 55:48
  cycle.
• 55:48
  And
• 55:49
  it's
• 55:49
  really
• 55:49
  exciting
• 55:50
  to
• 55:50
  like,
• 55:50
  look
• 55:51
  at
• 55:51
  where
• 55:52
  we
• 55:52
  start
• 55:52
  and
• 55:52
  how
• 55:53
  we
• 55:53
  shift
• 55:53
  out
• 55:53
  of
• 55:53
  it.
• 55:54
  So
• 55:54
  next
• 55:54
  week
• 55:55
  we're
• 55:55
  going
• 55:55
  to
• 55:55
  get
• 55:55
  into
• 55:55
  the
• 55:55
  big
• 55:56
  question
• 55:56
  of
• 55:56
  how
• 55:57
  do
• 55:57
  you
• 55:57
  exactly
• 55:58
  get
• 55:58
  your
• 55:58
  kid
• 55:58
  to
• 55:59
  do
• 55:59
  something?
• 56:00
  Because
• 56:00
  for
• 56:00
  those
• 56:01
  of
• 56:01
  us
• 56:01
  with
• 56:01
  executive
• 56:02
  functioning
• 56:02
  challenges,
• 56:03
  there
• 56:03
  is
• 56:03
  no
• 56:04
  like,
• 56:04
  just
• 56:05
  get
• 56:05
  it
• 56:05
  done
• 56:05
  button.
• 56:06
  And
• 56:06
  honestly,
• 56:07
  like,
• 56:07
  oh,
• 56:07
  I
• 56:08
  relate
• 56:08
  to
• 56:08
  that.
• 56:08
  I
• 56:08
  really
• 56:09
  wish
• 56:09
  I
• 56:09
  had
• 56:09
  that
• 56:09
  button.
• 56:10
  I
• 56:10
  would
• 56:10
  push
• 56:10
  it
• 56:10
  all
• 56:10
  the
• 56:11
  time.
• 56:11
  It
• 56:11
  would
• 56:11
  be
• 56:11
  amazing.
• 56:13
  But
• 56:14
  make
• 56:14
  sure
• 56:14
  to
• 56:14
  follow
• 56:15
  or
• 56:15
  subscribe
• 56:15
  if
• 56:16
  this
• 56:16
  is
• 56:16
  your
• 56:16
  favorite
• 56:16
  podcast
• 56:18
  or
• 56:18
  if
• 56:18
  it's
• 56:18
  on
• 56:18
  your
• 56:18
  favorite
• 56:19
  podcast
• 56:19
  app.
• 56:19
  You
• 56:19
  guys,
• 56:19
  my
• 56:20
  brain
• 56:20
  is
• 56:20
  really
• 56:21
  off
• 56:21
  today.
• 56:22
  So,
• 56:22
  you
• 56:22
  know,
• 56:23
  you
• 56:23
  have
• 56:23
  to
• 56:23
  sometimes
• 56:24
  listen
• 56:24
  through
• 56:24
  to
• 56:24
  the
• 56:24
  whole
• 56:25
  way
• 56:25
  to
• 56:25
  see
• 56:25
  what
• 56:26
  kind
• 56:26
  of
• 56:26
  a
• 56:26
  brain
• 56:26
  I'll
• 56:27
  actually
• 56:27
  have
• 56:27
  for
• 56:27
  these
• 56:28
  final
• 56:28
  words.
• 56:29
  Because
• 56:29
  you
• 56:29
  never
• 56:29
  know.
• 56:30
  Sometimes
• 56:30
  it's
• 56:30
  going
• 56:30
  to
• 56:30
  be,
• 56:30
  like,
• 56:30
  just
• 56:31
  great.
• 56:31
  Sometimes
• 56:31
  I'm
• 56:31
  just
• 56:31
  going
• 56:32
  to
• 56:32
  keep
• 56:32
  talking,
• 56:32
  and
• 56:32
  it's
• 56:32
  going
• 56:33
  to
• 56:33
  be
• 56:33
  wild.
• 56:34
  But,
• 56:35
  you
• 56:35
  guys,
• 56:35
  if.
• 56:36
  If
• 56:36
  we
• 56:36
  are
• 56:36
  one
• 56:36
  of
• 56:37
  your
• 56:37
  favorite
• 56:37
  shows
• 56:37
  or
• 56:37
  if
• 56:37
  you're
• 56:38
  just
• 56:38
  even
• 56:38
  just
• 56:38
  enjoying
• 56:38
  it,
• 56:39
  if
• 56:39
  you
• 56:39
  guys
• 56:39
  can
• 56:39
  leave
• 56:39
  us
• 56:39
  a
• 56:40
  review,
• 56:40
  it
• 56:40
  really
• 56:40
  does
• 56:41
  help
• 56:41
  the
• 56:41
  other
• 56:42
  neurospicy
• 56:42
  folks
• 56:43
  find
• 56:43
  their
• 56:43
  way
• 56:43
  here,
• 56:43
  too.
• 56:44
  Okay,
• 56:45
  guys,
• 56:45
  until
• 56:45
  then,
• 56:46
  here
• 56:46
  is
• 56:46
  to
• 56:46
  a
• 56:47
  great
• 56:47
  end
• 56:47
  of
• 56:47
  the
• 56:47
  week.
• 56:47
  And
• 56:48
  remember
• 56:48
  to
• 56:48
  stay
• 56:49
  curious
• 56:50
  and
• 56:50
  joyful
• 56:51
  with
• 56:52
  a
• 56:52
  whole
• 56:53
  lot
• 56:54
  of
• 56:55
  radical
• 56:56
  acceptance.
• 56:59
  High
• 56:59
  kick.
• 57:02
  Good
• 57:02
  job,
• 57:02
  Meg.
• 57:03
  You
• 57:03
  made
• 57:03
  it.
• 57:04
  Thanks.
• 57:05
  They
• 57:05
  made
• 57:05
  it.