Latest / Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development Podcast by Daryl Chow, Ph.D. / HomeKit: Helping Your Clients Get Unstuck (Part I: Anxiety)⭕️

Transcript

HomeKit: Helping Your Clients Get Unstuck (Part I: Anxiety)⭕️ · Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development Podcast by Daryl Chow, Ph.D.

• 0:02
  In today's episode,
• 0:04
  I'm excited to share with you a new thing that I've created
• 0:07
  called HomeKit.
• 0:09
  HomeKit is your first aid kit for the moments when you feel
• 0:13
  stuck,
• 0:14
  just when you need it.
• 0:16
  I'm hoping to share this with you because I suspect you might
• 0:20
  find this helpful
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_02: with you and your clients when you're working with them.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_02: Some of the ideas,
• 0:25
  maybe stuff that you could apply in your own way or integrate
• 0:28
  them in your own way.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: And in the next six episodes,
• 0:33
  I will give you six of the Whisper In Your Ear Complete Lessons
• 0:38
  from HomeKit.
• 0:40
  This series is densely packed with more than 50 areas covered
• 0:45
  in this audio series.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: The wide-ranging topics ranges from anxiety to discipline,
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_02: procrastination to motivation,
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_02: and guilt to grief.
• 0:57
  HomeKit is your just-in-time human companion to help you
• 1:01
  immediately shift state
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_02: and get unstuck as quickly as possible.
• 1:07
  The benefits include helping you shift state as soon as you
• 1:11
  need it to get out of
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: the rut before things escalate.
• 1:15
  The collection of these specific principles and strategies are
• 1:19
  life skills that are
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_02: generalizable and a huge payoff to your emotional and relational health.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_02: as well as your productivity.
• 1:28
  And the deep lessons in each segments target specific routes,
• 1:34
  not abstract labels.
• 1:38
  Each lesson consists of an introduction,
• 1:42
  three strategies,
• 1:43
  and three rationals.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: Today, we will start with one of the six topics.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: The first one is anxiety,
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: the second is assertiveness,
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_02: the third will be discipline,
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  SPEAKER_02: the fourth expressing love,
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  SPEAKER_02: the fifth procrastination,
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_02: and the sixth stress.
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  SPEAKER_02: And before we go into the topic for today on anxiety,
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_02: let me also say a little bit about why I chose to make HomeKit.
• 2:15
  It's easy to bullshit on a macro level and much harder to
• 2:20
  bullshit your way through
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_02: on a micro level.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_02: The chief aim of HomeKit is to target the specifics in a deep way.
• 2:29
  When you can zoom in on a higher resolution of issues that you
• 2:33
  want to address,
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_02: you will invariably increase your sense of agency and control.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_02: When your challenges are more abstract and less well-defined,
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_02: like diagnostic labels such as clinical depression,
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_02: anxiety,
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: ADHD,
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: trauma,
• 2:52
  you are less likely to get a head start in improving the
• 2:55
  situation in your life.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_02: Simply because the general label,
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_02: though helpful in some instances,
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: is too general and vague,
• 3:05
  HomeKit will help you get unstuck as quickly as possible and
• 3:09
  address other related
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: concerns that comes with the territory.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_02: Why I made HomeKit?
• 3:17
  Well,
• 3:18
  my job,
• 3:18
  as I often say to my clients,
• 3:21
  is to render myself out of a job.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_02: And I really mean this.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: This is one of the reasons I'm drawn to writing,
• 3:28
  teaching and making things like HomeKit so that you can make it
• 3:32
  your own with you
• 3:34
  and your clients so that your clients will have a chance to
• 3:39
  feel fully alive in
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_02: this life.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_02: I've been a psychologist in clinical practice for more than two decades,
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  SPEAKER_02: both in Singapore and in Australia,
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  SPEAKER_02: spanning from working in schools,
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  SPEAKER_02: private hospitals,
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  SPEAKER_02: psychiatric institution,
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  SPEAKER_02: outreach,
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: and private practice.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_02: I've also been training other clinicians,
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: as you know,
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: and most of my stuff,
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: I try to document them in Frontiers of Psychotherapist Development,
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: and you can check them out at my Substack,
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: which is darylchow.substack.com.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_02: So without further ado, let's jump right into today's topic on anxiety.
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  SPEAKER_02: Anxiety is experiencing failure in advance.
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  SPEAKER_02: Anxiety is like being on a rocking chair, moving but not going anywhere.
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  Anxiety is the presence of fear informed by the past in the
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  absence of faith in benevolence.
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  SPEAKER_02: So what can we do when the worry mind just wouldn't stop?
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  SPEAKER_00: Here's how.
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  SPEAKER_00: One, to recompose back into your body.
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  SPEAKER_02: While anxiety pulls you to the future,
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  SPEAKER_02: informed by the past,
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  SPEAKER_02: the body is the anchor to the present.
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  SPEAKER_02: So to recompose means that we have to guide both the body and the mind.
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  SPEAKER_02: One simple exercise you could do is learning to breathe well.
• 5:36
  and you can remember this as 7-11 meaning when you inhale you
• 5:42
  count to seven and
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  you exhale you would slowly let out a little bit longer you
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  don't have to try to
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  control this too much and in between the inhale and exhale you
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  could just hold for
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: a moment of pause
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  but remember you don't want to do this with too much
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  overexertion of control and
• 6:03
  trying to count exactly to seven and exhale exactly out of
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  eleven but basically
• 6:09
  when you do this you're trying to simply let the exhalation to
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  be slightly longer
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  than when you inhale and this way it would trigger the stride
• 6:20
  muscle discharge
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  SPEAKER_02: which creates a sort of relaxation response
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  SPEAKER_02: So when you inhale, you want to breathe in.
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  SPEAKER_02: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
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  SPEAKER_02: Hold it there.
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  SPEAKER_02: Just gently let it out.
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  SPEAKER_02: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.
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  SPEAKER_02: Now,
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  SPEAKER_02: don't worry if you feel like there's a shortness of breath,
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  SPEAKER_02: and you could do this much shorter than that if you want.
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  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to exactly reach the seven seconds or 11,
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  SPEAKER_02: but just as a frame of reference to help you remember that.
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  SPEAKER_02: You could do this shorter if you're at first starting this,
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  SPEAKER_02: maybe five seconds,
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  SPEAKER_02: and then exhale maybe eight,
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: nine seconds a little bit,
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  SPEAKER_02: and just elongate that a little bit more.
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  The idea is really you want to pay attention to the things that
• 7:25
  we don't normally
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  SPEAKER_02: pay attention to our embodied self.
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  SPEAKER_02: This way your body reminds you to be here,
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  SPEAKER_02: to be in your own body,
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  SPEAKER_02: to be in your own skin,
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  SPEAKER_02: to feel that.
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  Another way you could extend this exercise is to place one hand
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  on your heart.
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  SPEAKER_02: And when you breathe in,
• 7:52
  what you want to do when you inhale is that the expansion
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  should not go up and down
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  SPEAKER_02: on your chest.
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  SPEAKER_02: It should go on your other hand,
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  SPEAKER_02: which is near your diaphragm or your stomach area,
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  SPEAKER_02: which should go up,
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  SPEAKER_02: sometimes referred to as diaphragmatic breathing.
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  SPEAKER_02: And for some people, this comes really naturally.
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  SPEAKER_02: For some people, they do it the opposite.
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  SPEAKER_02: When they inhale,
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  SPEAKER_02: instead of the balloon expanding in the stomach area,
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  SPEAKER_02: it actually starts to deflate.
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  SPEAKER_02: So to try it out,
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  SPEAKER_02: lie down horizontally,
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  SPEAKER_02: and then you could see,
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  SPEAKER_02: you could feel with both hands that when you inhale,
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  SPEAKER_02: you want on the diaphragmatic area to inflate,
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  SPEAKER_02: which is because air is going in.
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  but you could try a simple way of doing this not just
• 8:42
  diaphragmatic breathing you
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  could just place your hand on your heart when you place your
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  hand on your heart it
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  is just almost as if you're creating this feedback loop of your
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  hand on your body
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  SPEAKER_02: your body on your hand that cycles back to remind you you're in your body
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  This is somewhat akin to when an adult is trying to soothe a
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  crying child,
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  SPEAKER_02: a crying toddler,
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  SPEAKER_02: a baby,
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  that he'll put the hand on the chest very gently and maybe even
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  just tap to soothe.
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  SPEAKER_02: This is a reminder that you'll be alright, that you're okay.
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  This is not a way of coddling,
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  but just a remembrance of us being in our bodies.
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  SPEAKER_02: Now that we've talked about the breathing and with a hand on your heart,
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  SPEAKER_02: the next thing we need to talk about is about your mind.
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  SPEAKER_02: Your mind is there to take care of the body as well as the mind itself.
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  SPEAKER_02: Remember that you are not your thoughts.
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  SPEAKER_02: You can observe your thoughts because you are not the one having them.
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  And in some traditions,
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  they talk about observing your thoughts like clouds.
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  SPEAKER_02: Let them come.
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  SPEAKER_02: Let them stay.
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  SPEAKER_02: Let them go on their own.
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  SPEAKER_02: And you could try this out in the next minute or two.
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  SPEAKER_02: And just sit back.
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  SPEAKER_02: As we practice meditation,
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  SPEAKER_02: those breathing exercises.
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  SPEAKER_02: Again, and I'll lead you to these ideas of diffusing from your thoughts.
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  SPEAKER_02: So gather your breath in and slowly out.
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  SPEAKER_00: You can breathe in.
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  SPEAKER_00: And slowly out.
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  And if you wish,
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  you could put your hand on your heart just to feel the presence
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  of your body.
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  And whatever thoughts that you're having right now,
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  maybe it's about the day.
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  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's about what is to come.
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  SPEAKER_01: Maybe he's wondering if you're doing this right.
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  SPEAKER_01: You could just let them come.
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  SPEAKER_01: Let them stay.
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  SPEAKER_02: And let them go on his own.
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  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to try and push them away.
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  SPEAKER_01: Because there's no way to push away clouds.
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  SPEAKER_00: They will go on their own.
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  SPEAKER_00: and then coming back to your body.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's how you can recompose.
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  The second idea on how you can deal with your anxiety is
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  somewhat counterintuitive,
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  SPEAKER_02: but here it goes.
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  SPEAKER_01: Convert your anxiety into fear.
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  SPEAKER_01: Anxiety sort of lurks like an ambient,
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  SPEAKER_02: an air that sort of fuses you with a kind of a worry,
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  with a kind of tightness and rigidity and wondering about what
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  is to come.
• 12:45
  Because anxiety is experiencing failure,
• 12:51
  a close cousin to fear,
• 12:53
  in its full force in advance.
• 12:57
  When we convert anxiety into fear,
• 13:01
  we move from the abstract into something concrete.
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  So for example,
• 13:10
  let's say you're going for a job interview and you feel the
• 13:13
  nerves.
• 13:15
  the nerves is activated experientially from the body it's not
• 13:20
  just the mind making
• 13:21
  it up you literally feel it you feel your hands getting clammy
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  or your stomach's
• 13:28
  moving around like butterflies or your legs they start to
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  become like Elvis Presley
• 13:33
  wriggling around you know feeling a little bit jelly like this
• 13:37
  is the manifestation
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: of the anxiety but if you could convert that into fear
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  SPEAKER_02: Your mind is there to clarify exactly what do you fear?
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  SPEAKER_02: Is it the fear of saying the wrong thing?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_02: Is it the fear of failing?
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  Is it the fear of being rejected by somebody and they may judge
• 14:00
  you as silly and
• 14:02
  thinking that you're incapable and why did you even think that
• 14:05
  you can apply for
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: this job?
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: And so on.
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  SPEAKER_02: It's really critical when we can do that,
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  SPEAKER_02: when we can zoom in and get specific about what exactly we fear.
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  SPEAKER_02: So here are some categories to think about what fears might be.
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  Fear of failure,
• 14:26
  fear of rejection or being judged,
• 14:31
  fear of losing control.
• 14:34
  fear of losing connection,
• 14:38
  or fear of losing reputation or losing face,
• 14:42
  as we call it.
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  SPEAKER_02: Think about these categories.
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  SPEAKER_02: There are five of them.
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  SPEAKER_02: I repeat,
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_02: fear of failure,
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_02: fear of rejection or being judged,
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_02: fear of losing control,
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_02: fear of losing connection,
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_02: or fear of losing face,
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_02: i.e.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_02: reputation.
• 15:04
  So when you think about this,
• 15:06
  try and zoom in to see exactly what it is that you are fearing.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_02: Because buried underneath anxiety ultimately is fear.
• 15:22
  In my sessions in therapy with clients I often try to step away
• 15:28
  from just talking
• 15:29
  about stuff and using words to leave words so that people can
• 15:35
  experientially feel
• 15:36
  things so that they would have a different experience with
• 15:42
  their emotions.
• 15:43
  So one of the things that is common that I would do for example
• 15:46
  if somebody is
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_02: experiencing anxiety
• 15:50
  And the aim usually is to help them reduce that,
• 15:54
  but also to help them come more fully alive.
• 15:57
  And one of the early stages of what we need to do is to help
• 16:03
  them feel what they fear.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: So let me explain.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_02: If someone came in with an experience of panic attacks,
• 16:14
  I would actually guide them through to help them experience a
• 16:20
  pseudo panic attack
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_02: within the session.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_02: The reason
• 16:26
  is because sometimes we develop a sort of phobic response to
• 16:30
  our feelings,
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_02: or sometimes referred to as affect phobia,
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_02: affect as in emotions phobia.
• 16:39
  And what we try and do is to help them develop a different
• 16:41
  relationship around
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_02: that,
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_02: and then at the same time,
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_02: to convert the anxieties into fear,
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  SPEAKER_02: and then when we can see the fear,
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_02: we can face them.
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  So not all things will be solved if we face them,
• 16:57
  but it can only be solved if we face them.
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  SPEAKER_02: So sometimes what I would do is to help them develop those symptoms,
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_02: those panic attack symptoms in the session.
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  SPEAKER_02: I would make them hyperventilate and I would do it with them so that they
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_02: experience the heart racing and all the other symptoms.
• 17:20
  Maybe sometimes even when they get a little bit lightheaded and
• 17:25
  they feel a little bit dizzy.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_02: And what we would do is to do a lot of quick breathings
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_02: in a minute.
• 17:31
  And again,
• 17:32
  I'll do this with them so that they know that I will guide them
• 17:35
  through.
• 17:36
  And we're not really just doing what we call an exposure or in
• 17:41
  vivo exposure.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: What we're really trying to get them to expose to are
• 17:46
  number one the bodily sensations and number two to get clear of
• 17:52
  what exactly the
• 17:54
  person is fearing so one time when I did this with a client he
• 17:59
  was clearly
• 18:00
  viscerally reacting because he was realizing that oh my
• 18:03
  goodness this was exactly
• 18:04
  the same kind of symptoms he was getting and then as we were
• 18:08
  walking through I kept
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_02: saying to him name the fear name the fear
• 18:15
  Name the fear We're going to develop a friendship with our
• 18:18
  fears But first let's
• 18:20
  name them And the thing that he came up with was At first he
• 18:26
  was saying that he was
• 18:27
  very afraid of losing control Very afraid of the fact that he
• 18:32
  might go insane Like
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_02: as if he might go crazy But as we delve deeper
• 18:38
  image came to mind for him it was the fact that he saw people
• 18:42
  coming around to him
• 18:43
  and it was not just strangers it was his loved ones his family
• 18:49
  his brothers his
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_02: parents was coming to him and the thing that he was really afraid of
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  SPEAKER_02: was losing connection,
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_02: losing the relationship,
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_02: the ties with him,
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_02: and the fact that they would have to watch him suffer,
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_02: that really hurts him.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_02: And then a flood of tears came,
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: because it spoke to something soft and tender in his heart,
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  SPEAKER_02: that he was very worried about his siblings,
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: he was worried about his aging parents as well.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: And as soon as it was touched upon,
• 19:28
  it's as if somebody pressed on an aching point on your muscle
• 19:35
  and sort of massaged
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_02: it through.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_02: And later on,
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_02: when he came back for a subsequent visit,
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_02: he talked about how relieved he was after the session,
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_02: although he was pretty much worn out,
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_02: pretty tired after that.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_02: But the aim of that is really to allow yourself to feel it.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_02: Not feel it.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: Not to evade it.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_02: But to feel it.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_02: That's the key.
• 20:07
  To feel it all is to say that all the parts of yourself
• 20:12
  communicating to these
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_02: parts that it is okay.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_02: That I can feel it.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: I can feel it.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I'll be fine now.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: So far we've covered two of the ideas.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_02: The first was to recompose back into your body.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_02: The second is to convert anxiety into fear so that you can face it.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_02: And third, convert your worrying into plannings.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: The worrying mind is different from the planning mind.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_02: Strangely,
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_02: the worrying mind is trying its best to plan for the future,
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_02: but in a not so useful fashion.
• 21:04
  And what you could do is learning to first make the distinction
• 21:08
  that worrying just
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_02: goals in circles,
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_02: whereas planning is strategic.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_02: So here's what you could do.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_02: Take a piece of paper.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: On one side, list down all the things that you're worrying about.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_02: Put them down.
• 21:25
  But once it's there,
• 21:28
  do its magic and convert them into things that you could do.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_02: Things that are within your control.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_02: Things that you could remind yourself to look at.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_02: Put a time on that.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_02: Put a date of when you will look on those things.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_02: If thoughts don't exist within the dimensions of time,
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_02: they easily slip back into the worrying mind.
• 21:53
  And what you really want to do is to be able to convert those
• 21:56
  things in the worrying domain
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_02: to be able to move them into the planning domain.
• 22:00
  Because when it's planful,
• 22:03
  you can place your faith and trust that you would do that.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: You're going to keep your promise to address those things.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: So try that exercise.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: Just a piece of paper.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: Draw a line down the middle.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: On one side, on the left, write down stuff that you're worrying about.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_02: And on the other side, write those things that you plan to do.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: Now that we've talked about how to deal with them, here's why.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: One, to worry means to strangulate.
• 22:43
  The word anxiety has its derivatives of angst in German and
• 22:49
  Danish and in ancient
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_02: Greek ang,
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: A-N-G-H.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_02: This is often referred to the physical sensations such as tightness,
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_02: constriction,
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_02: and discomfort sort of getting smaller and squashed and more rigid.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: Interesting,
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: isn't it,
• 23:08
  that anxiety can actually lead us to that sort of anguish and
• 23:13
  to worry sort of
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_02: strangulates and tightens us up even more.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_02: Second.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_02: Anxiety is, after all, velocity.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_02: Pushing you to travel at the speed of light, not at the speed of life.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: Once we can see this, the antidote is pretty clear.
• 23:35
  That is,
• 23:36
  learning to recompose,
• 23:38
  to come back,
• 23:39
  and to travel at the speed of life.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_02: Third.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_02: According to Lisa Filman Barrett,
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_02: one of the leading researchers in emotions,
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_02: would say that emotions are not what happens to us.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_02: It is made by us, depending on how we shape them.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_02: Because our brains, our minds are not reactive machines.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_02: They're predictive machines.
• 24:08
  predictive organisms that sort of anticipates what's going to
• 24:13
  happen next.
• 24:15
  So you might start to think that,
• 24:17
  oh,
• 24:17
  you mean I'm making this up on how I feel and things?
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_02: Not quite.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_02: That's not what I mean.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_02: What it means is that
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_02: When we feel certain things,
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_02: our mind consolidates into a little narrative,
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_02: a story,
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_02: and we can guide them.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_02: So you can imagine like an elephant and a person.
• 24:37
  The elephant is really strong and that's the emotions,
• 24:41
  the raw feelings of stuff.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_02: But the person can guide the elephant if it learns how to.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: So,
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: for example,
• 24:50
  the 100 meter runner feels the same physiological experience at
• 24:54
  the starting line
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_02: as someone who is anxious.
• 24:59
  You can shape your experience by how you interpret your
• 25:03
  emotional experiences moment by moment.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_02: In fact,
• 25:08
  when we learn to guide and shape our emotions by reappraisals
• 25:12
  like the 100 meter
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_02: runners,
• 25:14
  the experience of anxiety can actually boost your performance
• 25:19
  and even creativity
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_02: when you're doing something.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: In one study,
• 25:24
  130 people took part in a mock job interview involving
• 25:28
  presentations followed by
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_02: questions,
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_02: an exercise that would make most people feel anxious.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_02: And afterwards,
• 25:35
  they took a standard test of original thinking that involved
• 25:38
  inventing unusual uses
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_02: for a newspaper.
• 25:42
  Those who have been primed to see their nervous feelings as
• 25:45
  potential resource
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_02: before the interview tended to give more original answers.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_02: reappraisal can also benefit people who are anxious about exams.
• 26:00
  When students were taught that nervous feelings can energize
• 26:04
  the mind before taking
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_02: a math test,
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_02: they had better results and lower level of maths evaluation anxiety,
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_02: which is when the mind goes blank during a math test,
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_02: which is what happened to me when I was in primary school,
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_02: than those who weren't primed with that idea.
• 26:23
  First-year college students who have been taught to reappraise
• 26:26
  their feelings got
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_02: better results on their exams than those who hadn't.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_02: You are not a passive,
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_02: culpable,
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_02: conscious being for how you feel,
• 26:38
  but you have a responsibility to shape your emotions because
• 26:43
  the actions that you
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_02: make today become your brain's predictions for tomorrow.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_02: When you're able to look under the hood by converting anxiety into fear,
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_02: as we talked about one of the strategies,
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_02: you now have something that you can handle.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_02: To keep it at the top,
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_02: anxiety level can sometimes feel like you're trying to manage clouds,
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_02: too vague and nebulous.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_02: Though fear is an anticipation of the future,
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_02: it is informed by our specific past,
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_02: contrary to our intuitive thinking that anxiety is based on the future.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's actually coming a lot from our past experiences.
• 27:30
  This is why the practice of emptying your mind allows you to
• 27:35
  fully engage in the
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: present,
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_02: not tainted by the past.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: Here's what Shinru Suzuki said in his book Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_02: It is open to everything.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_02: In the beginner's mind, there are many possibilities.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_02: In the expert's mind, there are few.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_02: In other words, fear is from yesterday.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_02: When you can name the fear, you can heal the fear.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_01: When you heal the fear, you will discover your freedom for yourself.
• 28:26
  Just behind the hill of fear is a village of freedom waiting
• 28:32
  for you to experience
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_02: life as it is.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_01: Faith is the ultimate antidote to anxiety.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for listening to one of the more than 50 lessons from HomeKit.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_02: I hope you will join up to use this with your clients,
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_02: to use this for yourself as well,
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_02: and also for your family and friends if you feel this is useful.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_02: Go to darylchow.com slash homekit.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_02: That's d-a-r-y-l-c-h-o-w dot com slash homekit.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_02: H-O-M-E-K-I-T.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_02: That's for HomeKit.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_02: So it's a monthly payment of $26 per month for 12 months.
• 29:27
  But payment stops after that one year and you will continue to
• 29:31
  have a lifetime
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_02: access to the entire HomeKit.
• 29:36
  The reason for this is so that I could take the time off from
• 29:39
  clinical practice to
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_02: record the complete series within the span of that 12 months.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_02: So go to that website.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_02: You could get access to that.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_02: And before you go,
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_02: if you're listening to this,
• 29:53
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• 29:58
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• 30:00
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• 30:06
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• 30:13
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• 30:19
  SPEAKER_02: I hope you join us.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_02: And thanks for the trust that you give me.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for listening to this.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_02: Stay tuned for the next episodes,
• 30:28
  the next five more episodes that we're going to cover other
• 30:31
  topics ranging from
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_02: assertiveness,
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_02: discipline,
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_02: love,
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_02: procrastination and stress.