Latest / The REALationship Method / Drug Addiction, Military Spouse Reality, and Authenticity w/ Yani

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Drug Addiction, Military Spouse Reality, and Authenticity w/ Yani · The REALationship Method

• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: Ready?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: Four three two one.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to another episode of the Relationship Method podcast.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's your boy Chris.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you again for listening.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you again for watching.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you again for fucking with your boy.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_02: Today I got a very special guest.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: She needs no introduction, but I'm gonna give her uh one anyway.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um she's a mama bear, military wife.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: She's also uh one top influencer, content creator.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: Am I right?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, I am.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: Bitch, I gotta gotta go to this bitch.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_04: Hey guys, it's Yanni.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: How you doing today, girl?
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_04: How are you?
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm doing great, doing great.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_04: Thanks for inviting me.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_04: We're popping cherries today.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_02: We are, we are, hell yeah.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_02: Um, before we get this pot uh ship popping, um, how did I get Miss Yanni on this, you know, on this little pie?
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_04: Honestly, Chris, you just messaged me and you were nice, you were kind, you were right to the point, and that's the top three things that I love.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_04: Nice, kind, and right to the point.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh, and it um the DM didn't come off, you know, creepy or horny or anything.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_04: Absolutely not, and that's the best part too, because you never really know.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_04: You never really know.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: Huh, really?
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_02: What made you open the DM?
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: Or because I could I could only imagine um you're getting numerous DMs, right?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_02: And some of them will go in like the request box, some of in your primer box.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like what made you know my shit like pop out a little bit more?
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_04: So what people don't believe, and it's really ironic, is I actually do read every single DM that comes in my inbox.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_04: So I have Yeah, I do see everybody's DMs.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_04: I don't always reply to every single one, but I have read every single one that has ever passed through, unless it goes to spam.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_04: Then I can't help you.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_04: But I have my inbox in a way to where my request and my regular messages they come through together.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_04: So I just seen you pop up and I've seen the message.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_04: I go to profiles before I ever accept requests, go down it, see.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_04: All right, cool.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_04: He's talking about exactly what he does.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_04: There's no like you're messaging me wanting to do this, but there's nothing about it on your page because then you gotta be a little hesitant.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_04: But you were, like I said, you were nice, your page matches exactly what you were coming about.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_04: So I had to just press accept.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_04: Never know.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_04: You really never know.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um, shoot your shot.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_04: Shoot your shot.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_02: Closed mouths do not get fed.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: This is facts.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: Give me some.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_02: Give me some.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I said earlier you are um a military spouse.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_02: I am a military spouse.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: How is that?
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: Because my spouse is a military spouse as well.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: How is that working out for you from before to now?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, so I was actually raised by a military vet.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_04: So my grandpa was in Vietnam War for in like up until like my mom was like a teenager.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_04: So she was raised as a military bride.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_04: So growing up, even though he was retired, we had a very structured household.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_04: You know, we celebrated every holiday.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_04: We knew all about military history.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_04: There was really nothing that we didn't know.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_04: My grandpa wasn't super patriotic, but was patriotic enough, I guess you can say.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_04: And then fast forward to 19, I got married to somebody already in the military.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_04: That was definitely a rough patch.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_04: That kind of put a bad taste in my mouth because we lived in Fordrum.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_04: And if anybody knows anything about upstate New York, it's very small.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_04: Everybody knows everybody, and that does not change on a military base, and it's boring out there.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_04: So people are always trying to start problems with you for no reason.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_04: And then I'm the Miami girl.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_04: I'm the Miami girl in a snowbird place.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm being looked at like a solid gold toy, but also something to mess with at the same time.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_04: And like my ex-husband was not the best.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_04: So I just had like a really bad taste in my mouth.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_04: Like, the military isn't it, military men isn't it.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_04: Everybody's right about everything that has to do with military men.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_04: I'm never doing this again.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_04: And then I got with my now husband.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_04: Well, there it is.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_04: But in my defense, he was not military when we met.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_04: We actually met at a car meet, and then a couple months in, he was just like, I've always wanted to go.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_04: We're in a position right now.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_04: We could really use, like, you know, a little bit of extra money.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_04: Fuck it, I'm going.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_04: And I was just like, dude, really?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_04: Can we can we talk about it?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_04: Nah, we get married though.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_04: All right, cool.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_04: I guess we're getting married and you're going to the military.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_04: And like this time around, it was definitely different because we've done the whole thing together.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_04: Um, you really get to see an inside when your partner goes through the basic training and the AIT.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_04: It's definitely something that for a lot of people can break you apart.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_04: It almost did for us a million times because I'm not good with distance, but you do see a more vulnerable side of your partner.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_04: So you get to see them in a different light, and it kind of brings you closer in the end.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_04: Um, you just get to see them accomplish different things, so it gives you like an eternal proudness.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_04: And then our first duty station is Hawaii.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_04: So this time around, we got paradise instead of God knows what else.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_04: And Hawaii is somewhere I've always wanted to live my whole entire life since I was a little girl.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_04: So I definitely feel like we were meant to come here.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_04: So now, especially now that I'm older and kind of know how to work the military a little bit better, it is a lot better in and I can say life-wise, like it definitely does help a lot more than what we needed to.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_04: We get to travel, my kids get to say that they lived in Hawaii for a couple years, they get to live on a military base and learn all these different things, and I think it's really cool.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: I liked how you said that um your kids get to experience living like somewhere else besides home.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: Because that was one big reason why I joined, is for my kids to experience more than California.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_02: Because there's a lot more than California, right?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_04: Hell yeah.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_02: So that being said, I I loved how you explained that.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_02: Because um in your kids', you know, uh traveling resume or whatever, they could be like, oh, I lived in Hawaii.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: You know, what kind of flex is that?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like exactly.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_04: Like they've lived in Kentucky, they've lived in New York, they've lived in Florida, but now they get to say they lived in Hawaii.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_04: And I know like a lot of people frown upon military families, especially the court system, because that's why my two other kids aren't here with me.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_04: The courts are like, hey, you can't take them to Hawaii with you, because in the court's eyes, it's unstable.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_04: A lot of people are like, oh, but moving around too much and you lose friends and you have to, yeah, but in reality, you can live in the same place for 25 years and still not have the same friends that you grew up with in elementary, middle, or high school.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_04: Why not meet different people and learn different cultures and learn all about the world?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_04: Like the world is so big, it's so beautiful.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_04: We live in a time where the economy is trash, but at the same time, people rather spend money or time on fancy cars and fancy clothes, not realizing that$600 outfit you got on could have got you a round trip ticket from Hawaii and back.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_04: Camping on the beach, a lot of people want to stay in an Airbnb, dude.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_04: Camping on the beach is free if you really want to.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, you can rent out a van and just explore nature, live in nature.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I'd rather my kids get to have that under their belt than say they're the smartest in their class or they have 18 degrees.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_04: My kids will know a different language because now they're learning pigeon, of course, and they've also been taking it's something, man.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_04: It's something.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_04: And then my daughter's also um taking up to like Filipino now and stuff like that, trying to learn it as well.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_04: So it just they can say that they know a different culture, they've lived somewhere else, they've experienced where something is done so differently because we're Florida birds, you know what I mean?
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_04: So it's white people, but like luxurious white people around us all the time.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_04: And I don't want them to get so caught up in what having nice cars and nice clothes and living in Miami means.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_04: I'd rather them go somewhere where, for example, we're walking up, these kids got a boom box I haven't seen since the 90s, and they're just playing kadamas, minding their business.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_04: Like, how could kids should be playing?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, I do believe kids are going up a little weight, you know, like way too fast nowadays, and I'm I'm so fortunate to have like my little ones.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: They're still in that, oh, I want to be a dinosaur phase.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_02: Hell yeah.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_02: You know?
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_02: And um, yeah, man.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, kids these days.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_04: Kids these days, no, literally.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_02: Kids fuck you.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_04: I just started giving mines like electronics and TVs within the past year because I want them to be outside kids.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_04: Because when you outside kids, you got some common sense and you don't embarrass me.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_04: Inside, I'll cuss them out seven times a day for misbehaving.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_04: But whenever they out, all I get is compliments about them, and that's all I want.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_04: As long as you don't embarrass me outside the house, anything you want is yours.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, really?
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you're that type of parent.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_04: I am, unfortunately.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, okay.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: Parenting.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: Let me ask you this.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um, when it comes to parenting, right?
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_02: There's a good cop and a bad cop.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_02: Are you usually the good cop?
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_02: You're usually the good cop.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: Nah, he's the bad cop.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_02: You're the bad cop.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, so if y'all don't know, um, in the background, I have Terrence um in the back.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Yanni's um uh husband.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so if you see us look that way or, you know, just even talk that way.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_02: Talking to a ghost at the tamo.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_02: He's here, alright.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: So bad cop, good cop.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_04: I'm the good cop that forgets that they're supposed to be grounded for two weeks and let them go to their friend's house on the weekend all day long.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so when when you or your husband get into these like little altercations where he has to discipline the kids, right?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: Are you giving him any lip back or are you supporting in what he's deciding?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_04: It really depends on the situation.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_04: It really depends on the situation.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_04: Cause like we don't believe it.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_04: I don't hit my kids, but there has been one time where the kids caught real, real lip and like door slamming, and we're like, oh, absolutely not.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_04: Like any other parent would have had your ass out the window by now.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_04: Like, that's probably the only time.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_04: And I walk out the house, I don't even argue.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_04: And like, it's not like he even he just slaps them on their hand, but I personally I'm such a wuss when it comes to that.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I can't, but like if I feel like it's something smaller or like maybe we're taking it a little too far, because again, I'm just a soft mom.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_04: I was the kid that was abused growing up and always in trouble for little things, which is obviously something we'll get into later.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_04: So, like, I kind of feel like I still have parent guilt and like childhood guilt that I haven't grown up from.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_04: So when I know that they're about to be grounded for two weeks, I remember being that kid staring at my wall and how it fell.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_04: And he's like, and it taught me what I need to know.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_04: And for me, it's like, well, I already came from a house feeling unloved.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_04: So like I get worried, like, what if they feel like that?
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_04: And then I realize they've started realizing that and they'll hold it against me.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, let him take over now.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_04: But we kind of it really depends on the situations, but for the most part, I let it be, and I have to remind them, y'all are grounded.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_04: If I say no to you, I'm getting grounded.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm the oldest one in the damn house.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_04: But every time I let them get off, he ends up getting on me like this is why they don't end up listening to you.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_04: So now we've kind of they're also turned, they just turned 10.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_04: So now we're kind of hitting that point where I'm starting not to intervene as much because it's like I don't again, I don't want them to go out into the world and be these spoiled, stuck up kids that think they can get away with anything, and then it'll be 100% my fault because I don't know how to discipline them correctly.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_02: Miss Yani, let me tell you about a situation that happened to me last night.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_04: Heard that.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: So my wife and I, we're um we're just chilling in the bedroom.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_02: My 10-year-old, he is, you know, messing around with money, right?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_02: So I know my 10-year-old, like the back of my hand, and I told him, I was like, hey, don't touch my stuff, put it back.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_02: He goes to his room, my wife starts talking to me.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_02: She was mad because I told I told my kid in a way where it was not cute, it was straight, direct, and firm.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_02: So she got mad at me for that, and I was like, I know him, he's gonna lose it.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like, that's why I told him to put it back.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_04: My 10-year-old gonna spend it.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_02: See, well, my 10-year-old, he'll lose he'll lose it, right?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_02: So we got into this little argument, and he's like, So what are you trying to tell me?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, what do you mean?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_02: I'm telling you that I told him to put it back in a stern way.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: Why aren't you supporting me?
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, well, what are you trying to say?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, how easy do you want me to like break it down?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_02: Because there's no way I could break it down, right?
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_02: I'm trying to discipline him.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_02: I'm trying to tell him, don't touch things that aren't yours.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: That's I mean, that's like the underlying um, I guess, lesson I'm trying to teach too, right?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: So we got into like a little, not a scuffle.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: We weren't shouting, but it was one of those things where she wasn't understanding where I'm coming from.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I know like as the dad, as the man, we are like, we're automatically the bad cop.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, oh my god, this fucking sucks right now.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we're cool, but it was that night, I was just last night, I was like, man, this kind of fucking sucks, because you're not really you're not having my back in this.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_02: And if this is happening now, and he if he gets that, you know, that that mindset of, oh, I'll I'll mom's always gonna have my back.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna be where in the future, when I try discipline, and it's like, okay, I'm gonna listen to dad, but when dad leaves, it's like mind control, right?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_04: Son gets flipped over by a cop and calls mom, thinking mom's gonna get him out of it, and the cop's laughing, like, no, homie, you are going to jail right now.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_04: Mom and dad gotta come out of pocket for your bail money and a lawyer.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_04: That's how you have to hit it with her.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_04: Because in those situations, like, yeah, you can be like, hey, baby, that's my stuff, don't touch it.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_04: Which, yes, that could be a way to go about it.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_04: But we're now at that point, too, especially with 10, we are raising the next generation.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_04: We're raising adults at the end of the day.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_04: We're not raising kids because they don't stay kids forever.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_04: We're raising adults.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_04: So, in that case, if he's okay with taking anything from mom and dad, he's gonna think that's okay anywhere he goes and everywhere he goes.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_04: Like I already had that issue with my son with taking things that don't belong from or somehow his he uses his charm and gets things for free.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_04: Or now him and his friends are selling their things back and forth to each other, and it and it becomes a problem.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_04: And I don't want him to also, for one, money should never become a problem between friends.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_04: But for two, if you get used to this now, we let you do it.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_04: In the future, I'm gonna be getting a phone call that you robbed a damn bank because you think you could take what's not yours.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm sorry, but if you rob a bank, yo ass staying in there.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_04: Do not call me or your father.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_04: You better hope them cops get you there before I can come get your ass.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_04: Because it's gonna be a whole nother can of worms.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_04: But that's kind of, I feel like once we start getting that in our head that we're not raising kids, we're raising adults, it'll be a lot easier to come to terms with things like that.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_04: And like, yeah, delivery is a lot, because I even get worried about like our delivery on certain things when it comes to the kids.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_04: And I know we have that parent guilt, like, oh my god, the way I said that, I could have been softer about it, you know what I mean?
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_04: I could have been way better about it.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_04: But later on, they're not gonna remember how it made them felt.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_04: They're gonna remember or feel, they're gonna remember the lesson behind it, and that's kind of all that matters with it.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_04: You know, you do it right at the end of the day.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_04: If it hurts a little bit, they're gonna listen to it.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_04: If it doesn't hurt, they're just gonna let it roll off their back.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_04: They're kids.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_04: That's unfortunately how it is.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, fucking, it's a hard time to be a parent now.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_02: It really is.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_04: Like with And these new generation kids are so different.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_02: It's easier back in the day.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_04: I swear.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_02: Because one, we we weren't being filmed.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_04: We weren't.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_02: So like two, um, getting spanked isn't child abuse, it's tradition.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_02: And then like back in the day, we could cuss at a kid and they're mental, they won't have a mental breakdown.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_04: I don't believe in bullying, as you know, but I do believe in minor bullying.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_04: I believe in shame, I should say.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_04: Bring back shame.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, bring shame.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's like this is the consequence of what's gonna happen.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: Instead of, like, say being in jail, right?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_02: Your hair got cut off.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_02: Or, you know, just you're wearing a wearing a shit.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_04: I do not see a problem within you shaving your kid's head.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: I saw that video too.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_04: I don't see a problem in it.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_02: I don't I don't see a problem.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_04: I don't.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_04: They took it there, so you took it there.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, give that kid a fresh life.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_04: You can.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_04: So now guess what?
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_04: Now we're gonna control you having no hair.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_04: That's how I think about it.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_04: Consequences have action.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_04: Or actions have consequences.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_02: An action deserves a reaction.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_04: Every single time.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_04: Hell yeah.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_04: Fuck around and find out.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_02: FAFO.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_04: Hello!
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_02: F A F O.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_02: Miss Yanni, let's get into these questions.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_04: Absolutely.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_02: That was a good rant.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: That was a two tangent, you know.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um, for people who only know you from Instagram, who are you when the camera is off?
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_02: Are you still the same?
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm 100% the same.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: Do you tone it down a little bit?
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_04: No, actually, I'm trying to get used to when I'm on camera to keep my natural tone up.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_04: I I guess I accidentally tone it down on camera, not trying to do so much.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_04: And like I've tried to do content for years.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_04: So, you know, there's different niches, different ways of doing things.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_04: And I guess like they're kind of in the back of my head.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm now getting used to still being that in every video, my loud, outgoing side comment self without also getting canceled because people are pussies sometimes.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, right.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_04: People are pussies, like I cuss.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_04: So what?
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_04: I'm a grown-ass woman that's married with kids.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_04: Let it go.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_04: But I'm the same person.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_04: I'm always gonna be as kind as I am that you are to me.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_04: Um, if you disrespect me, I will disrespect you 10 times back.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_04: If you are petty with me, I will take it to hell.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_04: You can go low, I will take it to hell.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_04: But I'm always gonna be the same person.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_04: I believe in letting social media showcase who you are because then when somebody does meet you in person, they're not like completely dumbfounded by who the hell you are.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_04: Also, this is um weirdly enough, it is a career where you are your business, you are marketing yourself for brands, for people, for everything that you want to do with yourself.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_04: And if you are this quiet, demure person online, but in person you're this loud, outgoing character when the cameras are off, that could fuck you up brandio-wise.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_04: That could fuck you up anywhere because people are like, Whoa, who is this person?
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_04: I wasn't expecting that.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_04: And if you're naturally a bitch, be naturally a bitch so that no one's standoffish about it or no one gets sidesmacked by it, and they're like, Okay, yeah, we already know this is how she is, and that's exactly why we want her.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_04: My whole life I was told you're too loud, you're too much, you're too outgoing, you're too this, you're too that.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_04: And I toned it down trying to blend in with everybody else and trying to fit everybody else's narrative, and I was the unhappy one, I was the angry one.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and then I was still looked at wrong because now I'm a follower.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_04: But when I be myself, y'all don't care.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_04: Now that I've learned being myself is what got me my platform, and strangers support you more than your friends and family do half the time.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: Why yeah, why is that?
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_02: Like, speak on that, because I was I've been doing this for a cool minute now, and I get uh likes, uh listeners, you know, watchers, viewers, whatever, from total strangers, and the the people closest to me, they're like, they're not liking.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_02: I see them on the page watching, you know what I'm saying?
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_02: I'm getting unfollowed.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, speak on that.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_02: Like, why is strangers supporting more than fam and friends?
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_04: So I feel like when it's family and friends, especially, they have a specific narrative about if you did one thing as a teacher.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_04: They have a very specific narrative about you that they want you to fit for the entire rest of their lives so that they can feel good about themselves.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_04: When you start shining and coming up, some of them are gonna come back around trying to have a piece of it, wanting to be in on it, wanting to congratulate you, they're proud of you, they're this and that.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_04: But then the other ones will make slight comments.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_04: They don't like how you're doing this.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_04: What everybody else thinks is good on you, or you sound great, or you look wonderful, they're gonna be like, I don't like how that looks on you.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_04: It's the same type of same type of thing.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_04: They want to see you down because they know they'll never be in that position, and it irks them.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_04: It hurts them.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_04: They hate every single inch of it, and they hate and they can't fathom the fact that you can be that person because you were this troubled young person, or you snapped on them one time and you or you may be angry or whatever, whatever negative narrative they have about you, yeah, they feel like that should be the reason you should never overcome anything, everything.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_04: I'm the black sheep in my family, and I overcame everything they all said I would never become.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I remember you um your messaging me saying that uh like some folks in your fam don't mess with you like that.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah is that the reason why?
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly, 100%.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_04: I've always been the one in my family to kind of stand up for what I believe in.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_04: I've been the one to speak against my family sometimes.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_04: If every single one of y'all are doing wrong, I'm gonna call you guys out on it the same way you're gonna call me out on it.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_04: And growing up, I just noticed my family hated that.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_04: And even now where I am, like me and my mom don't talk or get along.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_04: But I did a community car show back in Florida, and now I'm all over social medias, and now she wants to comment, oh my daughter this, my daughter that, and oh, you need to pay for me to come see my grandkids, which you haven't seen your grandkids in three years.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_04: Why am I paying for anything?
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, I don't want you staying with me, we don't get along, and you know that.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_04: And because I don't want her staying with me, she's gonna go message my son, it's all my fault.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_04: Absolutely not.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_04: They never thought I would ever be for real on content creation.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_04: My family was a type, knock my phone out of my hand, like why are you always on your phone?
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_04: Why are you making these stupid videos?
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_04: You look cringe online, cover your body, this, that, and the third.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_04: Look where it got me.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_04: When I was homeless and they weren't helping me with money, I became a financial dominatrix online.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_04: They didn't like anything about it, but it was paying my bills, and when they needed help, I was the one helping.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_04: Same thing with my little sister and my brother.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_04: If they needed something and my family didn't have it, I would be the one doing it, but you guys don't like how I'm making my money.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_04: Now that I'm on social media or this and that, whenever we get in a fight, oh, you think you're better than us now.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_04: No, I just realized I didn't have to be the same outcome as the rest of this family.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_04: I don't think I'm better than you.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_04: I just know what I want for myself, and I choose peace.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_04: And family isn't always peaceful.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know who says that.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_04: You gotta always forgive family and all that, but you don't.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_04: So strangers will support you more because they don't got nothing against you.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_04: They don't got nothing against you.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_04: They they're not in a competition with you.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_04: Your friends and your family are always in a competition with you.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_02: I I'm learning today too, goddammit.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_04: Listen, you could be 56 and you can learn that lesson.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_02: Girl.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_02: Next question.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um, did you grow up feeling well, you answer that one?
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_02: How does the way you were treated as a child affect the way you parent today?
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_04: Ooh, that's a really good one.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_04: I have a lot of mom guilt.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_04: I am definitely the mom that sometimes will stay up to 1 30 in the morning.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_04: Like, did I not say hi to them for long enough before school?
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_04: You know, they came home, I was upstairs most of the time working and just fed them dinner, ate dinner, and came upstairs.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_04: I didn't play a game with them tonight.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_04: Family time with them tonight.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_04: I feel like growing up, I didn't really have a lot of love.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_04: So, like, my family was full of alcohol abuse, drug abuse.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_04: There was a lot of sexual abuse going on in my household between me and my mom, my uncles.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_04: Everyone in the family was going through just some type of mess.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_04: And I noticed like my family was very distant, even though we all lived in the same house.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_04: So, like, my grandpa would leave all day, come home, and get drunk.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_04: And then my grandma would be in the garden or watching her shows.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_04: My mom, she was a stripper most of my life, so she was either sleeping or at work.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_04: So, like, we didn't really have the close-knit family.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_04: I was really a bedroom kid as well.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_04: I slept on the couch because like it was my comfort space.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_04: I guess I didn't feel safe in my room due to again being sexually abused as a child.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_04: So now, like, I worry about every little thing with them, but I also worry that one day something might happen to me and that if I shelter them too much, like my family shelter me, they'll never know how to do anything for themselves.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_04: And that's I think like my bigger fear is God forbid, he's at work and I run to the grocery store and they just came home from school and they're waiting on me to get home and I don't come home and he doesn't come home for four or five hours.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_04: Am I gonna know that they know how to go to a neighbor's or something wrong?
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_04: Am I gonna know that they're not gonna burn the house down and they're gonna be able to eat something and survive for those couple of hours?
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_04: Anything can happen.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_04: So, like, I feel like I do get a lot of mom guilt.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_04: Like, what if I'm not doing enough?
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_04: And then have to remind myself, you're doing a lot better than your parents did.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_04: Like, my kids will randomly come up to me five times an hour.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_04: I love you, give me a hug and a kiss.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_04: If I ask them to come cuddle me, they jump in that bed with me.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_04: Growing up, I was the complete opposite.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_04: I didn't want my family touching me, I didn't want hugs and kisses, I didn't want to lay in bed with anybody.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_04: My daughter had a boy at school ask her out, she came running home and told me right away, I'd be scared to tell something like that to my parents, even if I didn't like the kid, I would have been scared.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_04: So, like, I do get mom guilt, but I know that I'm doing something right because they trust me more than I trusted my family.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_02: That is facts.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_02: I think when your children, child, um goes out of their way to talk to you, to tell you about their day, to tell you how they're feeling, I think you are doing a good job as a parent.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_02: The barrier of like the set the separation barrier is not there.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like if they're coming up to you out of their own, you know, goodness of their heart saying, Mom, I love you, mom, this this is what happened.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_02: I think you're doing good as a parent.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_02: But the mom guilt thing, I think it's um, you know, it's it's it's your past trauma.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_02: So, but now your kids are you're you're you're you're Gucci.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like in my book, you're Gucci is because you know what you're telling me, they're coming up to you, whatever you're asked, they're you know, they're doing it for you.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: You're you're good as a parent.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_04: Before he joined the military, we were in a hotel where there was a murder at least once a week, and it was usually on the same floor as us, and we had to see that, you know what I mean?
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I sent them to their dads because we were in a hotel for a while, and I sent them to the bio dad.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_04: He ended being arrested within the first month for severe child abuse.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_04: Had to send them with family in Kentucky for a year to basically hide them from him and so that I can get on my feet.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_04: So, like, I feel like a lot of it came with like they have gone through the like there's been times we haven't had food and things like that.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_04: They've had cops come to the house.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_04: So, like, I get really scared, like, will that affect them forever like it did me?
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_04: But I also know the way that my mom and dad handled it was a lot differently.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_04: Like, it was normalized in my household.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_04: For them, I always tell them it's not normal.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I'm gonna have days at Snap and I do Snap.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_04: And afterwards, if I realize it right then and there, I'll be like, I'm sorry, I'm overwhelmed.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_04: You guys aren't helping the situation right now.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_04: I just need some quiet time.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I'll try to regulate myself.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_04: Sometimes I'll say something, he'll like catch it and be like, hey, I'm like, shit, you're right.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_04: Let me not cuss them out right now.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_04: And like I feel like that's really where it comes from.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_04: It's not just like my childhood, but like what I have had to go through with them.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_04: And like I already know my kids are strong as all hell.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_04: They've been through a hell ton with me.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_04: There's nothing that they haven't seen, there's nothing they can't go through, but I never wanted that for them.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_04: So I kind of blame myself a lot.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I really wish I didn't have to put them through that.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_04: But I also know the cards that I was dealt with growing up, and I just kind of had to make those cards turn into an ace at some point.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, definitely.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it builds character.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_04: It really does.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because at one point in my life, I was homeless too.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: I was living out of my whip with a newborn.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_02: And um, dude, like the grit and like the emotions that come out of it, and then when you look back, you're like, fuck damn, I got through this shit.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so it's funny you say that because growing up, I and like anytime I was going through it in my life, I hated that saying, it does get better.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_04: It was one of the sayings that would piss me off when I was in that mental state.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_04: Like, you don't understand what I'm going through right now, and now looking back, damn, you were so stupid, little girl.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_04: Like, you didn't even know that it really could change.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_04: And like, again, I hated that saying more than anything, but now everything really does get better.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_04: Like, when you are at your lowest of low, just know it can get worse if you let it get worse.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_04: If when you take that anger and where you are in that moment, ball it up, and use it to strive for something better, everything will play out exactly the way you want it needed to play out.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_04: So that's like what I believe is the best part of it.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh, just like the military, we just we just get through it, you know.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_02: Just get through it.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_02: Just do.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_04: I hate to say it, but the military is one really good example for just getting through shit and just learning.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_04: When you're in the military, you know that it's coming to an end.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_04: You have an end date.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_04: So you know all this mental that they're putting you through, it's simply temporary.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_04: In those moments, you know, you know the end date, you know the finish line.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_04: Most of the time when we're homeless or going through A, B, C, and D, we don't know the finish line date.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_04: We don't know how it's gonna end.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_04: So I feel like in the military, it weirdly enough, it does give you really good practice for that.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, girl.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_02: We're dropping gems today.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so you're very open about um when you were talking about drugs, right?
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_02: Uh tell me about that.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how did you get into that?
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like, was it like after pregnancy, before pregnancy, or was it so getaway drugs?
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_02: Because I was on drugs too.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like uh before the military, I was a big E-head.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_02: Uh ecstasy.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_02: I was I was on E a lot.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_04: You got balls.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_04: You got balls.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_04: It shit feels good.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_04: Oh my god.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_04: Like so, like so, you know.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I couldn't, I that would make me spaz.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_04: I tried ice acid and mushrooms once in my life, and it was never again.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_04: But I actually started smoking weed when I was in middle school.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_04: I was like 11 years old.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_04: So that's where it started for me.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_04: And it was quite literally all my friends were doing it, and it was a gateway for getting away from everything that was going on in my household.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_04: I also grew up around parents that smoked weed and did cocaine.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_04: So, you know, it was a little bit normal in my life.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_02: Sugar boogie.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_04: Sugar boogie.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay, okay.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so it was just normal.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_04: Accessible as shit.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_04: And that was the problem.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_04: So in middle school, I started smoking weed, and I that's when we actually realized that I had heavy PTSD, depression, um, borderline personality disorder.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_04: I was just like a big Christmas tree on the map of mental health, and weed was the only thing that was helping me for a really long time.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_04: And even to this day, I still microdose with my card or whatever when I can, because you know, base, but we go outside of base and I do what I gotta do if I feel like I'm getting to that point because I just don't like medications.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_04: But it was actually after my youngest daughter, after she was born, um one of my friends and my dad, very big on cocaine.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_04: And for whatever reason, like I knew coke ruined my whole childhood, it ruined my life, it ruined my family's life.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_04: And I wanted to understand why my mom and dad were so addicted to it.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_04: And then everyone's like, Oh, yeah, it gives you energy.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_04: I was super depressed.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_04: So I was like, let me see.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_04: That was probably the biggest mistake because I liked it.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_04: I liked the feeling, it made me feel normal, weirdly enough.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_04: Realized I have ADHD on top of everything else.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_04: And me too.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_04: It evens us out.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_04: It's really weird.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I would be able to hyper focus on everything that I've been needing to do for the past month, it'd get done that day.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_04: Super deep cleaning.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_04: I wouldn't care about a TV or a phone.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_04: I'd be locked into my books, just getting shit done.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_04: And I liked that temporary feeling of getting things done.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_04: So that became my way to escape everything.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_04: Like when everything was getting too jumbled in my head and too much was going on, that was my escape.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_04: And I felt like it was I use it as an excuse to get things done.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_04: I really feel like I relied on it.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_04: Like it made me temporarily come out of my depression, so I ended up relying on it, and then it just it just got really bad.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_04: Like I was doing an eight-ball a day with my ex-husband, and then we lost our place.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_04: And that's when I realized that I was doing more coke than I could afford because we lost our place, and I got clean for about a year, and then I jumped back into it one day just because I almost overdosed myself, and then I got clean again, and then I jumped right back into it again because I had my old place.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_04: My kids were living in Kentucky at the time.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_04: Um, the other two are with their dads coming over only on the weekends.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_04: I was working doubles every single day, and I had people living there that was also doing it heavily.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_04: All my friends did it heavily, so my house became the party house.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_04: And I was just again escaping because I didn't have my kids and I didn't realize like I needed that because I became a mom at 14, again at 17, and again at 20.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_04: So I needed that year with no kids.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_04: I I any mom, any single mom, and a lot of people will like hate me for saying this.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_04: If you have had your kids since a young age and you've been a single mom most of your life, give those kids to their daddy for a year.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_04: Give them to their the same way that the dads can get that break, moms deserve it too.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_04: Especially if your whole childhood was taken.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_04: Because and if the dad's okay with it, fuck yeah.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_04: Let him have his kid for a year.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_04: Let him get that experience as well.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_04: Me and my oldest son's father, that's how we do it until he was old enough to pick who you want to go with full time.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_04: We did one year on, one year off, or every other weekend or every weekend, whatever worked for us.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_04: But I guess I really missed them more than I anticipated, and I felt really, really lonely.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_04: So getting high with my friends was the outcome.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_04: And then I started doing so much that the come downs the next day were just making me feel so shitty, so gross.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_04: And then three days after my last binger, I found out I had gallbladder disease.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_04: I thought I had IBS for many years, and I ended up in the hospital getting emergency surgery to have my gallbladder removed.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_04: And the doctor actually asked me, he was like, I'm just gonna ask here for shits and giggles, because you know, whatever.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_04: Do you do any drugs other than marijuana?
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_04: Because you always gotta be honest with doctors about it.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_04: Doctors and hospitals, I'm gonna tell you guys now, they are not gonna do anything if you tell them you did fucking heroin before going in.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_04: They just know how to treat you, and if they don't know, they might give you something that will kill you by accident.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_04: So I was always honest, and I probably should have been more honest, but I was like, I haven't done it in three days, but yeah, I da da da.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_04: He's like, that's why you lost your gallbladder.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_04: So it ended up almost killing me.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_04: And I didn't know that cocaine can affect your fucking gallbladder, but it does heavily.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_04: You will lose it.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck cocaine is hell of a drug.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_02: Hell of a drug, hell of a drug.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_02: Oh shit.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um, do you ever feel like people permanently judge you for things you did in that chapter of your life, in those chapters of your life?
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, 110%.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_04: Because again, like I was saying earlier, it fits a negative narrative.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_04: And people don't like to believe that you can fuck up once or twice in your life and actually get better.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_04: Like addiction is a disease.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_04: I hate to be that person, but it is.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_04: And like many diseases, you can get better from them, you can heal from them.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_04: That's with every mistake in your life.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_04: A mistake can literally be a mistake.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_04: Now, do we go back in with some mistakes?
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_04: It's like a bad boyfriend.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, we do.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_04: But at the same time, excuse me, one day you just get over it and you're ready to leave it.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_04: So I feel like even now, like I do like when I was fighting with my sister the other day, she brought up, like, oh, it was all those drugs you were on.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_04: Dude, I was like a cokehead for two, three years.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_04: Calm down.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_04: It's not, I was not doing it for 15 plus years.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_04: And as if anything, now my cognitive is way better because in that time I just realized so much that now that I'm out of it, I'm just like, damn, now I know how to move, I know how to do things better.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_04: So yeah, they're gonna always always see that side of me.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_02: So do you think experience is like one big great teacher?
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_02: So so for ejemplo, and you know, God forbid this happens, if your kids ever wanted to experience those types of drugs, are you gonna be a hypocrite and say no?
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_02: Or are you gonna be like, yo, control that shit?
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how how would you how would you deal with it?
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_04: Other than weed, if it's weed, as long as you're 16, you have good grades to wear note nothing season under, you don't your room stays clean and you don't give me any issues, you're at home with me and you're getting it from me where I know where it's coming from, which is gonna be a dispensary, you're not in the street with your friends doing it, and you're not promoting any other child to do it.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_04: I don't care what happens in this house.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_04: The second your grades start slipping, the second that you're not focusing on sports or your after-school curriculum or your chores start coming or whatever, if it starts switching you in a bad way, yeah, you're done.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_04: You're grids.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_04: Now, if it's any other drug, I expect you to be over the age of 18.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_04: You better be working, you better be in school still.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_04: And if you want to try it, it's gonna be at home under my supervision.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_04: If you want to go to a club and do eat for the first time, cool.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_04: I'm coming with you.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_04: I, if you want it, I will get it from you.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_04: The first time, like me and my dad even came to that understanding.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_04: Like, was he the happiest with me doing it?
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_04: No, even though he is somebody who would like put it in blunts for me or like allow me to do it, he ended up getting over it and allowing me to do it with him because he's like, I don't want her to accidentally get a bad batch and I get to get to get called that my dad my daughter's dead.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_04: Same thing.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_04: I don't want my kids to get a bad batch of weed that has fentanyl sprayed in it, or a pill, or ecstasy that has fentanyl in it, or they overtake too much, or they get up something pressed, and now I'm getting the call that my kid's dead, not that my kid just had a fun night.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_04: Because we're adults, like, let's be for real here, especially in college and stuff like that.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_04: Most people are gonna experiment with some type of drug or alcohol in their life.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_04: I would rather my kids do it safely and know that if something happens, they can call me.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_04: Like if they want to go to a club and get waste or they're going to a friend's house and they're 17 and they drink and they knew they weren't supposed to.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_04: I'd rather them call me, yo, mom, I'm drunk.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_04: I want you to come get me instead of trying to get in the car with another kid or getting in the Uber with somebody who may not be safe or trying to wing it and walk home and again end up dead.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I'm definitely never gonna be that parent.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_04: If you really want to try something, just come to me first and we'll discuss it.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_02: I've told my my older kid, the uh the one that's in college, you know, I talked, uh, she could do those drugs while I'm there.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_02: Not do those drugs, my bad.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_02: Marijuana.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_02: She ain't dropping under me.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck that.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_02: I better not know about that shit.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_04: See, but like see, that's where I was at at first.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_04: And my dad used to be like that with me as well.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_04: And then my um my godfather's daughter, because my godfather was the same way, she went out with friends and decided to do something behind her dad's back.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_04: And these said friends dropped her at our at our front porch and she almost died.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_04: Unless we checked her location while calling her because she was supposed to come to a family dinner, we didn't know.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_02: Oh shit.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, so that's why I'm like, as much as we may not want to see it or hear about it as parents, uh-huh, we can say they're still gonna do it.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, they're still going to do it.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_04: So you are literally the one thing that can.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_04: I hate to be put it on us even more, but we really do save our kids' lives in different ways that we don't know about until the day that they do die.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_04: And that could be one of those things that you may not want to see it, but it might also be the best way because God forbid something goes wrong, has a bad trip, the parent being there might be the only thing to help that person.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_02: Do you think parents have it um hard to talk about the um these types of things with their kids?
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like why why why is that?
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_02: Because I'm I'm totally open with my with my kids.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_02: Do you think it's a it's a society thing?
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_02: Do you think it's a brown thing?
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_04: You know what?
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_04: It might be a brown thing.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_04: We just don't give a fuck.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no, but the whites, but I mean you know, like colored folks.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_04: A little too stuck up.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, like you know, it's appalling to do those things.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_04: But the thing is, that's also I hate to be racial here, but that is the race where a lot of things happen behind closed doors and nobody ever speaks about it until shit really pops off.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I'd rather have these conversations with my kids than the wrong kid tell them it and tell them something that's not even true.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_04: I really think it's just society.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_04: Like, you're supposed to be shunned if you do drugs or have tattoos or cuss or show some cleavage or wear shorts too short or whatever the case is.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_04: And it's like, we're a speck of dust in this world.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_04: We're a speck of dust in this universe.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_04: You got bigger issues to worry about, I got bigger issues to worry about.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna tell my kids what it is and what it ain't because at some point somebody's going to.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_04: And I don't want them to be dumbfounded by it because like my mom sheltered me, she kept me from all these things, and then I found out my mom was the stripper and the drug addict and all these, and I spazzed the fuck out.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_04: And you're abusive towards me.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_04: I spazzed.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, I went straight.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, you are the villain.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I don't want my kids to ever be like, oh my, you smoke weed and you said all this about them people.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_04: Nah, you're going to hell.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_04: I shun you.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_04: Not here.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_04: I don't want them to ever to have a kid come up to them and be like, oh, here, look, um, you should come do this with me.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_04: And they can, oh, what's that?
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_04: That's candy?
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_04: All right, cool, let's go.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_04: And it's not fucking candy, which you can just tell by looking at a label sometimes.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_04: So I'd rather them know than not know.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_04: And I'd rather tell them than not tell them, and then let society make them feel bad about it.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_04: God forbid they do it.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_04: I don't feel like anybody should be felt bad for doing these things.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_02: I'm glad you said that, because I did, well, with my oldest, I did show her what shit was.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this is weed, this is shrooms.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_04: You got especially she in college?
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_04: You got to, because you know, them parties be a little hoo-hoo.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes, yes.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_02: Let me ask you this, Miss Yanni.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um, your kids, do they have a good relationship with like their aunts and their cousins and stuff?
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_02: I wish.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you wish.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_02: So they're not as close or they don't talk to them as much?
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_04: So for my oldest and my youngest, they're so good.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_04: So my oldest and my youngest are actually back on mainland.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_04: They're not here with us.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_04: My oldest is 12, my youngest is seven, but they both live with their dad, and they both have close friendship with aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_04: They have all of that.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_04: Um, like at least when their family does come and see them.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_04: They're very close with all their families.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_04: Now, my biological twins, not his kids, my kids, um, his stepkids, their father is not around, and their family also has its own issues.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_04: So they have been cummed and goed, and they were also basically the first set of grandkids and cousins or whatever.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_04: So they do have cousins in Tampa, and every once in a blue moon, I'll get in contact with the aunts and we'll face them.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_04: Like they have a little sister in Florida, so we'll FaceTime with her every once in a blue moon.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_04: But even when they were living with their dad temporarily, they didn't really get to have a close relationship.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_04: We never lived close.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_04: We've always lived four plus hours away.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_04: Um, my cousin has a daughter that I'm extremely close with that my kids grew up around, so we're good on that one.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_04: My brother and my sister just had their first kid.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_04: I don't talk to my sister.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_04: As for my little brother, baby mama lost the kid, so now he's fighting for full custody.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_04: But I did have my nephew almost every day.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_04: DCF let me, so they were able, I try to give them as much family as I possibly can, but unfortunately, as two of my kids do and two of my kids don't.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_04: And that's another like my twins have been with me all the time since they were born.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_04: The other, like they went to their dads temporarily for a couple months.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_04: The other ones have the dads that have always 100% been there, and I never have to worry about anything.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I'm close with them, I'm close, well, somewhat close with them.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_04: I'm really close to their moms.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_04: Both of my ex's moms are my moms.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I love both of those women.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_04: I wouldn't be who I am today without either one of those women.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_04: One of them raised me as a little girl, one of them raised me when I was older, and even though I was with their sons and it wasn't always perfect, they treated me as a daughter the way that I needed it, even now they still do.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_04: So thankfully, some do, some don't.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_02: Have you ever felt like your family was trying to make your child see you through their version of your past?
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_04: Hell yeah.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_02: How did how did how did that go?
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like with your kids, like are they understanding or are they like?
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_04: Again, I don't sugarcoat, I don't hide.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_04: So if my kids hear me yelling from another room, they're gonna come in and ask a question, why are you fighting with grandma Tracy?
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna tell them the truth.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_04: Because I grew up around that, and a lot of times I didn't know what was going on.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_04: A lot of times I did.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_04: And I don't ever want my kids to always feel like I'm right either.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_04: I want them to be able to choose without choosing sides.
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_04: Like, kids are gonna make their opinion about people, we're gonna make our opinions about people when they get older, but I'm not gonna lie to them about it.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_04: And I also, growing up, my grandmother and my mom would fight about me a lot and would kind of like try to belittle each other to make me choose sides.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_04: So I don't ever want that for them.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_04: When it came down to like my mom use doing that with my oldest son, I just cut my mom off completely.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_04: I called him and his dad and I said, block her number right now.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_04: We're not even, I'm not giving her an explanation.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_04: She's gonna figure it out by herself because I'm not doing that in this household.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_04: We're breaking those generational cycles.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_04: If you're gonna talk negatively about me to my kids or not talk negatively about me at all, you don't need to be around my children.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_04: I 100% I'm definitely 100% believe in that.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_04: I don't care if you're family, if you don't like me, you don't get to be around my kids.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_04: Period.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_02: So you're really good at explaining yourself to your kids of what you've done before, opposed to I mean, opposed what you've done before and what's transitioned to now.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_02: So you're real good at explaining of yo, this is what mommy was, and this is what mommy is now.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_02: There's a huge growing experience in between those two.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_02: So you're really good at explaining that.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_04: Um my oldest son started getting in trouble when he first entered middle school.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_04: And me and his dad, we were doing our transition, and I stood in a Walmart parking lot crying with his dad standing right there, and I was telling him everything that I did as a kid, like the things that I went through, and this is why, and I'm not gonna let you be a drug addict, I'm not gonna let you go to jail, I'm not gonna let you be suspended, and that's exactly the path that you're going down.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_04: And he hasn't gotten in trouble since.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_02: Good for you, little man.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_04: Tell your kids things, be honest, because you are a role model regardless.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_04: If your kids think you're perfect and you don't fuck up, they're not gonna tell you when they fuck up, and then they're not gonna have you help them fix it.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_04: I'd rather them need help fixing a fuck up than just dealing with it.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_02: Amen.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_02: Hey to the fucking man.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_02: Um, your audience have seen you grow.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_02: They have.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um uh have they seen you struggle as well?
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_04: I have how was it?
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_04: How?
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_02: Is that like because um like you know I follow pages, I see pages, and I see you know people crashing out and like getting emotional, like so.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_04: I'm the type of crash out, I would do not have recordings of my crash outs because my crash outs are real crash outs, and we can't have evidence of those.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_04: I'm that type of crash out.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_04: I think maybe once or twice in my whole life I was able to set up a camera while crying.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_04: I don't really know how some people do that, but like that's just because my mind's everywhere.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_04: But I have like if I know that I'm going to like my favorite park or something, and I've sat down and I'm just lost in my head, I'll record that moment and then later on I'll make a video about exactly what was going on in my head at that moment.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_04: Or I'll do a cleaning video and talk about what's been going on, I'll go on my story and rant.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_04: I've never been shy because then again, we have we're now in a society and in a generation where you don't really get to go outside and meet people and experience anymore.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_04: And like therapy is great.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_04: I 100% believe in therapy.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_04: I'm so for it, but not all therapists should be therapists.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_04: So if there's people that can see that other people are going through what they're going through, other people feel what they feel, they're not alone, and you're not alone.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_04: Now, there's always gonna be somebody to judge, there's always gonna be somebody to hate, there's always gonna be somebody to think that it's cringe, but I've also seen a video from somebody, one of my um favorite creators, Red Wolf.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_04: He's from back in Florida, he's a biker, and I was super depressed at the time, found his page and just his quotes.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_04: I realized this is somebody who military as well, been suicidal, been homeless before, and keep going.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_04: It was just something as simple as I see you, keep going.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_04: That was my motivation.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_04: I'd rather people know I'm not perfect, I will never claim to be perfect.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_04: I don't even like perfect lifestyles.
• 45:39
  SPEAKER_04: And weirdly enough, too, in the content creation game, that's what people want to see more of.
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_02: They want to see because it's either that or it's either they want to see people fail.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it's never in between because pitch perfect is so unattainable for everybody.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_04: Pitch perfect is something that most people get out of working extremely hard, and how they see it, luck, even though they don't see the part of you working extremely hard.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_04: So there's creators who everything is all pink and their nails are always done, or their houses ran off AI, whatever.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_04: That's not attainable for everybody.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_04: What is realistic, what is attainable is we all cuss our kids out.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_04: All of our houses are messy 24-7, even if you clean it 18 times a day.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_04: Homework now and day makes me cry.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know about y'all, but it makes me cry because it's not what I learned back in the day.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_02: I chat GPT that motherfucker.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_04: Hello!
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_02: On YouTube, and I'll be like, Can you explain?
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_04: Please, because they the way they do it now by addition multiplication, yeah.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_04: Everything is done differently.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_04: I'm trying to work it out for my kennel, because that's not how you're supposed to do it.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_04: What the fuck do you mean?
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_04: The answer's the same, but the teacher's not gonna grade it same.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm like, Well, you know, they're about to know your mom did your homework.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_04: I don't care.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, yeah.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_04: They're gonna know that stack uh adding by my I don't care.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_02: Why not not not to slash 10?
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_04: No, you stack them up and down plus a hundred carry over, and that's it.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_04: It yes, yes, but yeah, like I I believe in all that good stuff, you know?
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_04: It's very weird.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_02: It is weird.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_02: It is a weird space.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_02: Have you ever been afraid to tell you know your audience that you're not okay?
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_02: Has there ever been a time where you just yo, I'm not today, it's just I'm not good.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_04: I've I've been very honest about it, especially like I'll try to push videos out so they're still out there for everybody so y'all are still entertained.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_04: But then I will realize it's showing in my content, and I'll talk about it in a voiceover while I'm cleaning, like, I'm not okay.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_04: This is what's going on.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_04: I know y'all could tell because it's showing in the effort that I'm giving to you guys, but mainly like I again, I don't want to make it seem like I'm this perfect, always happy person.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_04: I was somebody who was suicidal.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_04: I was somebody who has struggled with my mental health my whole life.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_04: Why would I not show that to people?
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_04: That's who I really am.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_04: I don't want to have this perfect niche.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_04: I like I said, it's just weird.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_04: I don't want to be perfect.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I don't believe in it.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_02: How are you handling the um because I'm getting them now too like the hate messages or just text messages?
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_02: Like they're just talking shit.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_04: My favorite saying that a lot of people don't agree with is teach me.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_04: Us famous.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_04: The algorithm does not always see the hate comments.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_04: Now, granted, sometimes lurking profiles can be bad for our algorithm.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_04: When somebody leaves you a hate comment, all Instagram sees is a comment.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_04: That they see algorithm push.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_04: They see, all right, people are talking behind this video, people are reposting it, even if they're talking shit.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_04: They don't know that it's talking shit.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_04: And those are usually people that are miserable, people that are sometimes jealous, people who will never be in rooms that we'll be in.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_04: So you know what?
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_04: I let it roll off my back.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_04: Even like with the fat comments.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_04: I've been getting fat comments my whole life.
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_04: I'm never gonna be shy about being a bigger bitch.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_04: I love that part of me.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_04: Um, have I struggled with weight loss my whole life?
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_04: Do I want to be thinner?
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, but on my terms, and I'm not gonna be like, I'll be like, you know, like a little three-finger flakita.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_04: I need some thickness still.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_04: But like, I just feel like with the hey, I'm so serious.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_04: I need some thick in these.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_04: My man don't like skinny bitches.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_04: He likes them thick in the hips.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_04: But like, I really feel like with the hate comments, like, you guys are mad behind a computer screen and sometimes a fake account.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_04: If you can't even do it on a public page and stand 10 toes, you're pussy.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_02: I'm glad you said that because I invited several people that was talking shit.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, hey, you know what?
• 49:23
  SPEAKER_02: Come on the pod.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_02: I was polite.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_00: Let's talk shit on the podcast.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I was I was polite.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_02: And these motherfuckers don't know I can flame them up like that, you know?
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just like, I'm just saying, but you know, like I have invited like three, four people that was just talking trash.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, hey, dude, come on.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_02: You know, come on the pod.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_02: And they're like, nah, I'm okay.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, you buff thumb motherfucker.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_04: That's what it is.
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_04: All these people will talk shit on your profile and try to get people to hate you along with them for no reason.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_04: Because guess what, baby?
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_04: You'll never be in the rooms I'm in any motherfucking ways.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_04: Haters make us famous.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_04: Next.
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_02: How does a person that's starting off, right, and they're trying to like project up?
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_02: What are your tips for him or her?
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_04: Be your I hate to be cliche, but really be yourself.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_04: Don't be yourself again.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_04: Again, with trying to fit a niche, like I try to fit the makeup niche for a while, the singing videos and all that.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_04: It didn't work for me.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_04: When I got in front of everybody and I started talking shit like, yes, I'm fat.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_04: Tina the talking, tell me and me over here, we know what time it is.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_04: Everyone loved that shit.
• 50:24
  SPEAKER_04: I was just honest, I was up front, and what people trolled me about, I made fun of.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_04: Get the people going, get the people talking.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_04: Your content should bring a little bit of controversy.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_04: Even like if you clip one thing, you know, a 10-second video doesn't always show the whole 10 minutes.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, this is real.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_04: So you clip that one thing, that video is gonna get people fucking talking, get people going.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_04: If you want to get your views, have controversy, whether it's good or bad controversy.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_04: If it's a conversation that people can talk about, or if it's something like when I do my cleaning videos, I notice that when I'm talking about shit that's going on in my life, I move around a lot, or I'm wearing crazy nails.
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_04: People love that.
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_04: Make your video just a little bit different.
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_04: Have something like people use a lot of times when they have microphones, they'll clip it on to something really stupid, or they'll wear a crazy outfit.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_04: That's not for everybody.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_04: Get in front of a camera and just press record.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_04: Act like you're talking to a friend.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_04: Record yourself talking to a friend until you get used to it.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_04: Literally, just press record, excuse me, and eventually you'll get better at it.
• 51:26
  SPEAKER_04: You'll get better at it and you'll get used to pressing record.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_04: That was like my biggest issue in the beginning was getting used to pressing record.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_04: Getting used to like day in my life videos or when we're going out somewhere, not getting so caught up in the moment, which this can also be an issue.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_04: Don't get so caught up with content creation and social media that you guys forget to live in the moment because I even will take out my phone for two seconds, record, and try to put it back.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_04: I don't want to be on it the whole time, worried about a perfect angle.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_04: I'll figure it out, I'll edit, I'll do whatever I need to do, but I still want to be present in those moments because it is still my life.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_04: And if you're only going for content, then what's the point of going?
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_02: That's facts.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I tell this a lot on my pod that when moments happen, and I do miss them a lot on my phone, I'm just I'm present.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like the phone's away, I'm I'm just I'm there, you know.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_02: And if I if I ever miss it, I'm like, fuck.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_02: Like luckily for me, my wife's taking pictures, but my phone is like, it's in my pocket.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not recording anything, I'm not, you know, taking pictures from anything.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just I'm I'm there.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_02: And it's like I hate it sometimes.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_02: I love I love it a lot.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_02: I hate it sometimes because I can't, you know, like it's not in my phone, it's in my wife's.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_02: You feel me?
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_02: So it's like, oh my gosh.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_02: With the niches that you were talking about, um, is it hard to get out of one niche, or can you be multiple niches?
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_04: Um I don't feel like it's hard to get out of multiple niches, to be honest, or like to get out of that one niche.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_04: I feel like it's a lot easier to have multiple niches than trying to stick to one.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_04: Because, like, unless your whole life really does revolve around going to work and fishing, then obviously your whole niche will be fishing.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_04: But there's a lot you can do within that.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_04: Like how when you go to the store, how do you know what gear to go buy, or um, how to learn about the different types of fish, you know what I mean?
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_04: Or even fixing your fishing equipment, like it's still a niche, but there's umbrellas of the niche.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and then even like being a military spouse, a lot of us do become social and media influencers because there's not really much else for us to do within your niche.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_04: Like for me, I like being body positive.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_04: I travel a lot because of him in the military.
• 53:24
  SPEAKER_04: We travel a lot.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_04: Exploring Hawaii is a niche in itself.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I love good food, that's a niche in itself.
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_04: Cleaning, that's a niche.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_04: I love pink.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_04: I have a whole content room.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_04: That's a niche.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_04: Being a mom, that's a niche.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_04: Whatever your content can be around, let it be around your day-to-day life.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_04: If you're going to school, if you wake up, make a good coffee at home, go to school, go to the gym, cool, make that your niche.
• 53:46
  SPEAKER_04: What else do you do outside of that though?
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_04: What goes into those things?
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_04: If you're gonna do your hair today and you want to yap about some bad cheese made that happened in your life, maybe you're maybe maybe your boyfriend pissed you off today, right?
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe you guys got into the big fight.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_04: Press record, do your hair, and just yap about it.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_04: Just rant about it.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_04: Say the things that you wish you would have said earlier.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 54:05
  SPEAKER_04: Be that part of yourself.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_04: Let yourself be each and every piece of yourself because it'll be easier for you to create content as well.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_02: I like that shit.
• 54:13
  SPEAKER_02: I really do because when I ask people to come on the pod or when I tell people about the podcast, it's like, oh, is that what you do talk about?
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_02: Relationships?
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_02: Obviously, we haven't talked Did we talk about relationships?
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_02: We haven't, not even really.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_04: Not really, just bad guy, good guy.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and then we went on like spiel on your life.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_02: So, yeah, man.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_02: Hence why the big real R-E-A-L.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_02: R-E-A-L.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_02: Fuckers.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_02: Real?
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you ask.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, let's get to these questions.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_02: Talk about someone um asked, talk about cheating, and if cheating should be forgiven.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_02: I got one.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um uh I'll let my boy cut my hair.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_02: He fucked up.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_02: Doesn't make him a barber, but he went to school.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_02: I'll give him another chance.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_02: So if a guy, or let's say if someone cheated on you, you're like, fuck him for fucker.
• 55:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yours go down the road.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_02: I think I would give that.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_04: I believe in whooping their ass with a Stanley cup, and then they can have another chance.
• 55:16
  SPEAKER_02: So beat the ass first?
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_02: Beat the ass first.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_04: Beat the ass.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_04: I don't believe in beating your ass on any other chance.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_04: You can threaten it, but if somebody cheats on you and plays with you that bat, beat the ass.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_04: And then you could give them another chance depending how they act about it afterwards.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_04: There's some men that are are gonna cheat on you and cry and beg for another chance and promise they'll never do it again and then do it again and still treat you like shit.
• 55:36
  SPEAKER_04: Then there's men that will really understand that it hurt you, and then they won't do it again, and they'll try everything in their power to make their whole life about you and be like, damn, it really hurt her.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_04: But you're always gonna get the second outcome if you whoop his ass first.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_04: Because then he now feels the pain that you went through, and he now knows all those times you threaten him to either leave or do this or that.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_04: If he cheats, now he knows you're dead ass serious, and it's worse than just leaving.
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_04: Give him PTSD like they mama did it.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_04: Uh huh.
• 56:07
  SPEAKER_02: Coming from Yani.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_02: Can you uh someone asks, can you help me deal with my insecurities?
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_02: I always feel fat no matter how much weight I lose.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_04: Girl, and be fat.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_04: Be fat and be fucking proud of it.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_02: PHAT.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_04: PHATMIT.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_04: Like, you think if you really think people don't care, like they may judge you, but they're gonna judge you in their head.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_04: They're not gonna say it.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_04: And again, if they're too scared to say it to your face, the opinion doesn't matter.
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_04: And guess what?
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_04: They can die tomorrow.
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_04: You can die tomorrow.
• 56:39
  SPEAKER_04: You really want to be out here worried about what you look like.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_01: You're just a speck.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_04: You're a speck, bro.
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_04: You will have start having that confidence once you start doing it.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_04: Don't get me wrong, I still have days where I'm like, this must make me look good.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_04: I don't like how this looks together.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_04: But then I'm like, you know what?
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_04: Fuck it.
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_04: I'm just gonna wear it.
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_04: I'm just gonna wear it on a ball because no one's gonna stop me.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna be comfortable, at least.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_04: I'm not gonna see myself every three minutes like it's a mirror.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_04: If somebody else says something, they ain't gonna say it in my face.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_04: Keep it pushing.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_04: You're beautiful, you're you are the way that you're meant to be, and that's all that matters.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_04: Somebody's gonna love you.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_04: Somebody does love you, whether it's your kids, your family, your spouse.
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_04: And if, and honestly, too, when you learn to love yourself as the big person, it will help you really lock in with losing weight.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_04: I never really cared too much about my weight until I loved myself.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_04: I was always like insecure, baggy clothes, I'm fat, I'll never be skinny, and I'm never gonna do the work.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_04: Now I can do the work and still be confident in myself as a fat bitch or as a skinny bitch.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_04: I don't care either way.
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_04: Like now I am gonna start GLP1 and stuff like that because I've struggled with weight loss my whole life.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_04: Um, I have thyroid issues, things like that that kind of don't help me lose weight, and I have food noise and whatever, so that's gonna help.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_04: But again, it's not for everybody.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_04: And you just gotta do it.
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_04: You just really gotta do it, man.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_02: That's facts, and not every guy like them skinny.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_04: Not every guy like them skinny.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of us like them flech.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_04: Most of the fittest, skinniest uh gym going bros, y'all will find love them a big bitch.
• 58:05
  SPEAKER_04: Why do you think they can bench two to three hundred pounds?
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_04: They got a goal in mind, and it's not looking buff.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_02: That's a that's lightweight of a bar.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's lighter width of a bar.
• 58:17
  SPEAKER_04: He's muscular with an APAC.
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_04: It can lift me up with one arm over his shoulder like it's nothing.
• 58:21
  SPEAKER_02: Hell yeah.
• 58:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um, if there's a fire in the house, he is who to call.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_04: He is getting everybody out, this bitch.
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, next question is Will micro cheating lead to physically physical cheating?
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_04: There's no if, ands, or buts.
• 58:34
  SPEAKER_02: What is a micro cheating?
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_04: Micro cheating, you are flirting, even if you think it's harmless flirting.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_04: Like, oh, you know, you look really good today, or oh, like you know how we bake.
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_02: Could that be a compliment though?
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_04: The way that you deliver the message.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_04: A d um delivery matters for everything.
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_04: You'd be like, you know what, I really like that top today on you.
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_04: Looks really great.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_04: No problem.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_04: But if you're like, damn, you look really good today, or damn, you look really beautiful.
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_04: All right, now what we're pushing it.
• 58:58
  SPEAKER_04: Those words are meant for me.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's the delivery.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_02: Delivery.
• 59:02
  SPEAKER_04: Like, because you can be like, wow, you look really nice today.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_04: Not damn girl, you look good.
• 59:06
  SPEAKER_04: Delivery.
• 59:07
  SPEAKER_04: Um, liking mass liking girls' photos.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_04: A lot of men don't understand this, but as a woman, how they see it is, ooh, his girl don't know she's liking all my photos right now behind her back.
• 59:18
  SPEAKER_04: He wants some of this.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_02: You're like the fifth person that said that.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_04: Same thing if a girl hits you with that, oh my god, your wife and you are so cute together.
• 59:25
  SPEAKER_04: Oh my god, she's so beautiful.
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_02: That's my crochet.
• 59:28
  SPEAKER_04: Not on your side, uh-huh, but as a woman, a lot of women do that to test you, to see how you're gonna talk about your wife.
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_04: Like, yeah, she's cool.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, she's okay.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_04: Like, oh my god, yeah, my wife is so beautiful.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_04: I love everything about depending on how you talk about your wife in that moment, depends on their next question.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_04: If you seem like, oh yeah, she's cool, yeah, whatever, very brushed off.
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_04: Ah, he don't really like her.
• 59:50
  SPEAKER_04: He don't like that bitch.
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_04: I can get with him, I can go behind her back, I can make him mine.
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_04: Versus a man that's very loud and proud, uh-huh, you don't get a chance.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_02: Huh.
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_04: But it also depends on the loud and proud, because you can have a man that could post you on social media 24-7, but also be cheating on you.
• 1:00:06
  SPEAKER_04: It really just it really depends.
• 1:00:09
  SPEAKER_04: So you still have to watch it.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_02: What if you're supporting, you know, like the person's like that's different because he he posts me a lot.
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_04: Like he doesn't post in general, so I don't really hold it to him, but he has like two, maybe three pictures of us on his page.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_04: He has a whole highlight dedicated to me.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_04: I get thrown on his story.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_04: I'm cool with that.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_04: I had an ex who didn't post us at all whatsoever, and that man was cheating.
• 1:00:33
  SPEAKER_04: That man was also not even like cheating physically with bitches, that knew that he existed at least.
• 1:00:40
  SPEAKER_04: It was more like following all these OF girls and the naked nude model girl.
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_04: They know him.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_04: No, not they don't know he exists, but he knows they exist.
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_02: So let's say if they he knew an OF girl personally, like, oh man, that was like a you know, like a classmate of mine when I, you know, we went to high school.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_04: Show her some love, man.
• 1:01:01
  SPEAKER_04: It's hard out here for the sex workers.
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_04: As long as you tell me about it, cool.
• 1:01:05
  SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna go on all eight of my fake pages and I'm gonna show her the same amount of love.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_02: Ah, okay.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_02: You feel me?
• 1:01:09
  SPEAKER_04: If you're honest about it and why, I feel like that's a very different conversation.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_04: But even still, like, when you become an adult, I feel like when you get married too, your friends are your friends, but they're now separated friends.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_04: And if you have single friends of the opposite sex, they should not stay your friend anymore.
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_04: Because those single friends like to get people in trouble.
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_04: Those single friends can get very jealous of what you have.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_04: Those single friends can go after you or go after your partner.
• 1:01:34
  SPEAKER_04: That's why we ended up having a role in our marriage now where most of our friends are couples, they're married friends, and not just any married couples.
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_04: If y'all are cheating on each other 24-7 and can't trust the other person out the house by themselves, we're not friends.
• 1:01:49
  SPEAKER_04: We can't have that type of negativity around us.
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_04: If you and your spouse are good to where your spouse can go their way by themselves and you guys can go like him and my friend's husband can go their way, me and her would go our way, and we're all chilling.
• 1:02:00
  SPEAKER_04: We love that.
• 1:02:01
  SPEAKER_04: We're cool with that.
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_04: You know, every couple's gonna have relationship problems.
• 1:02:05
  SPEAKER_04: One of our friends were having some issues.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_04: We were there that whole night and the next morning.
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_04: No problems, because we know how they are normally.
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_04: But then I had another couple that he just doesn't trust her coming outside with me at all, doesn't trust us at all for their own personal reasons.
• 1:02:20
  SPEAKER_04: Now I can't be friends with you anymore.
• 1:02:22
  SPEAKER_04: I feel like the negativity runs off.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, you are the only that's saying birds of a feather fog together.
• 1:02:29
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, I don't necessarily believe that, but I understand the saying of it because negative energy can can be latched onto you by accident, even if you're not wanting it.
• 1:02:39
  SPEAKER_04: And people look at your circle before they look at you a lot of times.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_04: Who do you involve yourself with?
• 1:02:45
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, really?
• 1:02:46
  SPEAKER_04: That's why I changed my rule.
• 1:02:48
  SPEAKER_04: I'm only staying friends with people I know I can take into fancy rooms with me in the future.
• 1:02:52
  SPEAKER_04: Like I have certain friends I wouldn't be, I I know for a fact if they came in here, they'd act a fucking fool.
• 1:02:57
  SPEAKER_04: But I have other friends that I know would come in here, sit down, shut up, and and just enjoy.
• 1:03:01
  SPEAKER_04: Uh-huh.
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_04: That's a difference.
• 1:03:03
  SPEAKER_02: That is a difference.
• 1:03:04
  SPEAKER_02: So you're saying that you have two sets of friends then.
• 1:03:07
  SPEAKER_02: One that could bring around your folks, and then the other one where you can't bring around.
• 1:03:13
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, y'all are the weekend friends, y'all be talking group chat friends, we know each other, but we don't really hang out like that unless there's a yacht party or a takeover.
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_04: The other ones, you're coming to business meetings with me, you're knowing my next idea, you know my family and my friends.
• 1:03:27
  SPEAKER_04: Fuck, you might have a key to my house.
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_04: Like, my circle is very small though, but yeah.
• 1:03:31
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's interesting.
• 1:03:33
  SPEAKER_02: I think for us guys, we just have that one set of friends.
• 1:03:37
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_04: Men aren't as friendly, and when you find somebody that you're equal, like you guys can kind of just gauge people a lot better than I feel like women can.
• 1:03:52
  SPEAKER_04: Like, we get those gut feelings when somebody's bad.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_04: You guys are just like, that one's gonna be too talkative, that one's not gonna talk enough, that one's into some weird shit.
• 1:04:01
  SPEAKER_04: He looks cool.
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_04: All right, cool.
• 1:04:03
  SPEAKER_04: We'll stick with that one, and it always ends up working out, and you go long term.
• 1:04:06
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, men also don't really engage in the same amount of drama or bullshit that women do.
• 1:04:11
  SPEAKER_02: This is true.
• 1:04:12
  SPEAKER_02: This is true.
• 1:04:12
  SPEAKER_02: I'd be walking away.
• 1:04:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like when when my wife is with her friends, I'm I'm in the other room.
• 1:04:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I ain't listening.
• 1:04:20
  SPEAKER_04: And then we feel like we have a say in our friends' life sometimes, forgetting that they just wanted to vent, not that they needed a second piece of opinion.
• 1:04:27
  SPEAKER_04: Men, they you you we they know that they're just there to vent, and they're not you want advice right now, or they're gonna ask that question first.
• 1:04:35
  SPEAKER_04: You're just gonna be like, damn, bro, that's what we're doing.
• 1:04:37
  SPEAKER_04: Damn, that's really, really sucks.
• 1:04:39
  SPEAKER_04: You guys can kind of just brush over everything a lot easier.
• 1:04:42
  SPEAKER_04: But yeah, I believe the people that you hang around with, they should you should be able to take in rooms when you're successful.
• 1:04:47
  SPEAKER_02: I like that.
• 1:04:47
  SPEAKER_02: I like that.
• 1:04:48
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, this one is your upbringing.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_02: How did you meet your husband?
• 1:04:52
  SPEAKER_02: How you got your confidence?
• 1:04:54
  SPEAKER_02: That's that's what it's saying.
• 1:04:56
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 1:04:56
  SPEAKER_04: Um, so my upbringing, you guys are pretty much heard about during this.
• 1:05:00
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:05:00
  SPEAKER_04: So me and my husband actually met at a car meet.
• 1:05:03
  SPEAKER_04: I went to a car meet with some of my friends.
• 1:05:04
  SPEAKER_04: I was a host at the time and a co-host, and we were co-hosting a meet together, and our meet ended up getting shut down from Popo because people don't know how to act.
• 1:05:13
  SPEAKER_04: So we went to the one up the street.
• 1:05:14
  SPEAKER_04: Mind you, I'm in West Palm.
• 1:05:15
  SPEAKER_04: At the time, he lived in Coral Springs, and I lived in Fort Lauderdale, so like about an hour from this location.
• 1:05:21
  SPEAKER_04: And me and my homeboys were like, next spot, next spot.
• 1:05:24
  SPEAKER_04: We go, and he's there.
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_04: He's already there, just waiting for us.
• 1:05:27
  SPEAKER_04: I guess he's mutual friends with my friends.
• 1:05:28
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and we all kind of just start yapping it up.
• 1:05:30
  SPEAKER_04: And he had a kitten with him at the time.
• 1:05:32
  SPEAKER_04: So my kids instantly gravitated towards him and his damn cat.
• 1:05:35
  SPEAKER_04: And then I remember him getting slick with me that night.
• 1:05:37
  SPEAKER_04: He was trying to talk to me, like how my long term homeboys spoke to me, and I cussed him out.
• 1:05:42
  SPEAKER_04: I cussed him clean out, and I guess like in that moment, he knew like that's gonna be the one.
• 1:05:49
  SPEAKER_04: And we ended up um just making jokes with each other that night, and then he found me on Instagram like two days later, and we were talking shit to each other.
• 1:05:57
  SPEAKER_04: You did find me.
• 1:06:01
  SPEAKER_04: Oh yeah, I did.
• 1:06:03
  SPEAKER_04: I did.
• 1:06:04
  SPEAKER_04: I did.
• 1:06:04
  SPEAKER_04: I did give it to him because I I was hosting at that time.
• 1:06:06
  SPEAKER_04: So I did give it to everybody.
• 1:06:08
  SPEAKER_04: You're right.
• 1:06:08
  SPEAKER_04: I did.
• 1:06:09
  SPEAKER_04: But he ended up messaging me first.
• 1:06:10
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you very much.
• 1:06:12
  SPEAKER_04: Don't lie, because I didn't even know your fucking thing.
• 1:06:14
  SPEAKER_04: Because until you called me Dora, I didn't know it was you.
• 1:06:16
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you very much.
• 1:06:17
  SPEAKER_04: But his account name was Midnight Spider.
• 1:06:20
  SPEAKER_04: So he called himself Spider.
• 1:06:21
  SPEAKER_04: And we were making jokes back and forth.
• 1:06:23
  SPEAKER_04: And I would be like, You're just a daddy long leg.
• 1:06:25
  SPEAKER_04: Because he was like the black widow, that was his card name and stuff.
• 1:06:28
  SPEAKER_04: And like black widows are bad bitches, and guy, you know, they're kind of spooky.
• 1:06:32
  SPEAKER_04: A daddy long leg ain't scaring nobody.
• 1:06:34
  SPEAKER_04: So I would call him a daddy long leg, and he called me Dora.
• 1:06:36
  SPEAKER_04: So that was kind of like our thing.
• 1:06:38
  SPEAKER_04: Then we went into this stage in the same week of trying to hook each other up with people.
• 1:06:43
  SPEAKER_04: So he was trying to hook me up with a mutual friend of ours.
• 1:06:47
  SPEAKER_04: That mutual friend liked me.
• 1:06:48
  SPEAKER_04: I wasn't really feeling it.
• 1:06:50
  SPEAKER_04: He knew it was gonna be a disaster on my end.
• 1:06:52
  SPEAKER_04: He knew exactly why and still set me up for fucking failure.
• 1:06:56
  SPEAKER_04: So I ended up calling him while on that date, and I was like, Can you come?
• 1:07:00
  SPEAKER_04: Can you come get me?
• 1:07:01
  SPEAKER_04: Like, I don't want to be here anymore.
• 1:07:02
  SPEAKER_04: And he came and we ended up having our own date while on that date.
• 1:07:06
  SPEAKER_02: He manifested that.
• 1:07:07
  SPEAKER_02: He did.
• 1:07:08
  SPEAKER_02: No, he did that shit on purpose.
• 1:07:09
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I'm gonna be a captain sailor.
• 1:07:12
  SPEAKER_04: Yo, when he pulled up on me, we went to go start walking to go.
• 1:07:16
  SPEAKER_04: We literally walked up to him.
• 1:07:17
  SPEAKER_04: I've done that before.
• 1:07:18
  SPEAKER_04: And we started walking to go to like this little boat boat yard.
• 1:07:21
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 1:07:21
  SPEAKER_04: And he stopped and puts his arm out for me to grab.
• 1:07:24
  SPEAKER_04: That's how I knew he was plotting.
• 1:07:26
  SPEAKER_04: He you came out here with a mission and then walked me back into that bar.
• 1:07:30
  SPEAKER_04: And I, homeboy, was still there and looked at me confused, and I'm what?
• 1:07:34
  SPEAKER_04: This wasn't you were barely talking to me the whole time.
• 1:07:36
  SPEAKER_04: What the fuck did you expect?
• 1:07:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:07:38
  SPEAKER_04: And we were all at the end of the day, we were all mutual friends, anyways.
• 1:07:41
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:07:41
  SPEAKER_04: It wasn't like no bad blood or anything about it.
• 1:07:44
  SPEAKER_04: But after that, me and him just started chatting it up.
• 1:07:48
  SPEAKER_04: We ended up going to the beach together like two nights later.
• 1:07:51
  SPEAKER_04: We hooked up.
• 1:07:52
  SPEAKER_04: He looked me dead in the face and said, If we do this, you're mine forever.
• 1:07:56
  SPEAKER_04: I thought, foreplay talking shit.
• 1:07:58
  SPEAKER_04: I didn't think it was serious.
• 1:08:00
  SPEAKER_04: Here we are, a year and a half later.
• 1:08:02
  SPEAKER_04: He was dead serious.
• 1:08:03
  SPEAKER_04: He put a ring on it within three months.
• 1:08:05
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 1:08:07
  SPEAKER_02: At a boy.
• 1:08:09
  SPEAKER_02: At a boy.
• 1:08:10
  SPEAKER_02: Last question someone was asking is Are you planning to have more kids?
• 1:08:13
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, not anytime soon, but we are planning on having one more.
• 1:08:16
  SPEAKER_04: I have two boys, two girls, I want a tiebreaker.
• 1:08:19
  SPEAKER_04: He doesn't have any biologically of his own, so we are gonna have one.
• 1:08:22
  SPEAKER_04: I just want to wait until he is either, and I'm pretty sure you can agree to this, out the army or towards the end of it because he just got in.
• 1:08:30
  SPEAKER_04: It's still a little crazy.
• 1:08:31
  SPEAKER_04: He's not gonna be around for everything.
• 1:08:32
  SPEAKER_04: We don't know what's going on right now.
• 1:08:34
  SPEAKER_04: His job's a lot more lenient, but I still rather it be when you could be home more.
• 1:08:39
  SPEAKER_04: Also, it is a life threat in this economy to want anybody to have a new baby.
• 1:08:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 1:08:45
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm in Hawaii for the first time in my life at almost 30 years old.
• 1:08:49
  SPEAKER_04: Who?
• 1:08:50
  SPEAKER_04: No, I'm enjoying this.
• 1:08:52
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, I'm in.
• 1:08:52
  SPEAKER_04: I need to go ziplining through the forest.
• 1:08:55
  SPEAKER_04: I need to hike mountains that my fat ass is gonna take five hours to hike.
• 1:08:59
  SPEAKER_04: Might die three times on the way, but it'll be worth it.
• 1:09:02
  SPEAKER_04: Who, baby, where?
• 1:09:04
  SPEAKER_04: No.
• 1:09:05
  SPEAKER_04: That's nine months putting me out the game minimum.
• 1:09:07
  SPEAKER_04: Not anytime soon, but at least by the time I hit 30, we'll talk about it.
• 1:09:12
  SPEAKER_04: 30 will be my last year in Huawei.
• 1:09:15
  SPEAKER_04: We'll be getting ready to get stationed out, getting ready to buy our new house.
• 1:09:18
  SPEAKER_04: That seems more like an appropriate time because we're gonna be using our VA loan to buy a bigger house out, you know, back up in the States.
• 1:09:25
  SPEAKER_04: And, you know, bringing it, being I was pregnant, buying a new house, I'm cool with, you know what I mean?
• 1:09:30
  SPEAKER_04: Bring a new baby into a new house.
• 1:09:31
  SPEAKER_04: But while we're in Huawei with these prices, these gas prices, uh, the floods, the power outages.
• 1:09:38
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, true, yeah.
• 1:09:39
  SPEAKER_04: Fuck no.
• 1:09:40
  SPEAKER_04: In this economy, until Cheeto Puff is out of office, no.
• 1:09:44
  SPEAKER_04: We cannot afford gas.
• 1:09:45
  SPEAKER_04: We cannot afford gas.
• 1:09:46
  SPEAKER_04: We can't afford gas in the house.
• 1:09:47
  SPEAKER_04: We can't afford fusion fruit uh groceries.
• 1:09:50
  SPEAKER_04: We can't afford Medicare.
• 1:09:53
  SPEAKER_04: I do not produce enough breast milk.
• 1:09:55
  SPEAKER_04: I learned that with my other two, my other kids.
• 1:09:57
  SPEAKER_04: I can't feed a baby pastama.
• 1:09:59
  SPEAKER_02: Similar like an infamile.
• 1:10:01
  SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
• 1:10:02
  SPEAKER_04: Sorry, this cow is not, she tried up.
• 1:10:06
  SPEAKER_04: So yeah, we're definitely gonna wait on that one.
• 1:10:09
  SPEAKER_04: Definitely gonna wait.
• 1:10:10
  SPEAKER_04: But yes, eventually.
• 1:10:11
  SPEAKER_02: Eventually.
• 1:10:12
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, missing.
• 1:10:13
  SPEAKER_02: Another boy, please.
• 1:10:14
  SPEAKER_02: Another boy.
• 1:10:14
  SPEAKER_02: Another boy.
• 1:10:15
  SPEAKER_02: How about you, T?
• 1:10:16
  SPEAKER_02: What you want?
• 1:10:18
  SPEAKER_04: He wants a girl, but he uh he wants a girl.
• 1:10:20
  SPEAKER_04: He's always wanted a girl because he has sisters.
• 1:10:23
  SPEAKER_04: That's exactly what he wants.
• 1:10:24
  SPEAKER_04: But now that the older that my daughter gets, he's like, fuck that.
• 1:10:27
  SPEAKER_04: I want a boy.
• 1:10:27
  SPEAKER_04: At least once a day, he has moved that a boy.
• 1:10:29
  SPEAKER_04: We're having a boy.
• 1:10:30
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, alright.
• 1:10:31
  SPEAKER_04: You wanted a girl for so long.
• 1:10:33
  SPEAKER_02: Boys are good.
• 1:10:34
  SPEAKER_02: They're just ah man.
• 1:10:35
  SPEAKER_02: Energetic.
• 1:10:36
  SPEAKER_02: Fucking energetic, and I hate to say it like they're kind of dumb too.
• 1:10:40
  SPEAKER_04: Boys lack common fucking sense.
• 1:10:41
  SPEAKER_02: But then the girls, they're sassier and messier.
• 1:10:45
  SPEAKER_02: And they're super smart.
• 1:10:46
  SPEAKER_02: Like at a young age, they're fucking smart.
• 1:10:49
  SPEAKER_02: Like they get it.
• 1:10:50
  SPEAKER_04: They manipulate you.
• 1:10:51
  SPEAKER_04: That's why it's daddy's girl and wrapped around daddy's little finger.
• 1:10:54
  SPEAKER_02: I fucking manipulation tactic.
• 1:10:56
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 1:10:57
  SPEAKER_02: They didn't love it at the same time.
• 1:10:59
  SPEAKER_04: We get practice on our dads.
• 1:11:02
  SPEAKER_04: Duh.
• 1:11:02
  SPEAKER_02: What the fuck?
• 1:11:05
  SPEAKER_02: What the fuck?
• 1:11:06
  SPEAKER_04: Yani, that was fun.
• 1:11:07
  SPEAKER_04: It was very fun.
• 1:11:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um, thank you for coming on.
• 1:11:09
  SPEAKER_04: Of course.
• 1:11:10
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you so much for being here.
• 1:11:11
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, thank you.
• 1:11:11
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 1:11:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, where can these people find you at?
• 1:11:13
  SPEAKER_02: And do you have any um shoutouts or anything?
• 1:11:15
  SPEAKER_04: Um honestly, shouting out just everybody that's been following me along since the beginning, everybody that's gonna be following me in the future.
• 1:11:22
  SPEAKER_04: I love you guys.
• 1:11:23
  SPEAKER_04: I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.
• 1:11:24
  SPEAKER_04: And if you're not following me, at becoming Yanisa, Y-A-N-I-S-A, and I'll see you guys later.
• 1:11:30
  SPEAKER_02: She has great pronunciation.
• 1:11:33
  SPEAKER_02: That was great.
• 1:11:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um, shit, KO Studios, thank you for the lovely home.
• 1:11:38
  SPEAKER_02: Rafi B.
• 1:11:39
  SPEAKER_02: Rafi Bite, thank you for the lovely beat, always.
• 1:11:41
  SPEAKER_02: With that being said, I'm Chris.
• 1:11:43
  SPEAKER_04: I'm Yanni.
• 1:11:44
  SPEAKER_02: And we out this bitch.
• 1:11:45
  SPEAKER_02: Peace.
• 1:11:46
  SPEAKER_04: That was great, brother.
• 1:11:48
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
• 1:11:49
  SPEAKER_04: That was so fun.
• 1:11:50
  SPEAKER_04: I love a good yaka.