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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: On Letting Go Of The Plan & Letting Yourself Feel · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

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  Speaker 1: Hey everyone, EMILYA Baddy here coming to you live from
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  Speaker 1: the Age Studio. You are listening to five Minute Friday
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  Speaker 1: from Hurdle. Can I tell you? I will tell you
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  Speaker 1: I get to make the rolls over here. I went
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  Speaker 1: on a very long walk this morning and it was
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  Speaker 1: completely unintentional. But I woke up after having two very
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  Speaker 1: full glasses of whiskey out of friend's last night and
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  Speaker 1: woke up knowing that I wanted to get outside. But
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  Speaker 1: it was not going to be one of those days
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  Speaker 1: where I was moving aggressively, if you get what I'm saying.
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  Speaker 1: And so I made the decision to go for a
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  Speaker 1: little walk. And the walk started out with the intention
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  Speaker 1: of me heading on over to one of my favorite cafes.
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  Speaker 1: It's an outpath, an out post, a lobby cy clet
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  Speaker 1: in Fork Green. I was gonna head over there, grab
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  Speaker 1: some bread. They make the best fresh baked bread that
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  Speaker 1: has pumpkin seeds and cranberries and hazel nuts. It's so good,
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  Speaker 1: and then maybe lap the park before going back to
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  Speaker 1: my place. Instead, I thought to myself, you should walk
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  Speaker 1: around a little bit more like grabs really, you know,
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  Speaker 1: get that fresh air. And so I started walking toward
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  Speaker 1: Prospect Park. I bumped into a girlfriend who was there. Also, like,
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  Speaker 1: when did I become the person that uses the word girlfriend?
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  Speaker 1: Does that make me actually like seventy two years old?
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  Speaker 1: I'm on sure, but I bumped into my friend. We
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  Speaker 1: walked around Prospect Park and saw so many cute dogs
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  Speaker 1: and I hung out with her dog. And by the
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  Speaker 1: time it was all said and done, I probably walked
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  Speaker 1: about two or three miles with her. I walked an
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  Speaker 1: additional two miles on my own. By the time it
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  Speaker 1: was done, I walked five and a half miles and
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  Speaker 1: feels like twenty one degree weather. And on that last mile,
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  Speaker 1: as I was walking back home, I was thinking to
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  Speaker 1: myself or wondering, really, when was the last time I
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  Speaker 1: got out and didn't have a plan. And this actually
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  Speaker 1: kind of ties into where I am emotionally lately. If
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  Speaker 1: you get the Weekly Hurdle, you have a little bit
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  Speaker 1: of insight into it. For those of you that don't
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  Speaker 1: know about the Weekly Hurdle, it's the newsletter that I
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: send out every Friday morning. If you want to get
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  Speaker 1: in on the newsletter, click on over the show notes.
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  Speaker 1: There's a link to subscribe in there, and bonus it's free.
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  Speaker 1: I I'm not having a plan, am a very plan
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  Speaker 1: A plan B, Plan C kind of person. My life
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  Speaker 1: coach tells me that I operate from a heavy thinker energy. Ps.
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  Speaker 1: I just started seeing a life coach and it's going
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  Speaker 1: really well, and I'll talk all about that at some
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  Speaker 1: point soon, I digress. I have not made it a
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  Speaker 1: priority over the last few years to sit in my
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  Speaker 1: feelings and operate from a place of feeling. Because of
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  Speaker 1: taking on this business and being my own boss and
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  Speaker 1: being in charge of my own livelihood and some of
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  Speaker 1: my past personal experiences, what I have become quote unquote
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  Speaker 1: good at doing is really just being like, Okay, I
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  Speaker 1: can feel sad about this for one second, but after
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  Speaker 1: that second is over, I'm gonna gather my I was
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  Speaker 1: about to say the F word, I'm gonna get my
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  Speaker 1: shit together and I'm I'm going to figure out what's
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  Speaker 1: next because I'm in charge of my own happiness. So yeah,
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  Speaker 1: that's well and good. That approaches one approach, But what if,
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  Speaker 1: And this is something I'm working on right now. I
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  Speaker 1: am less focused on seeking that immediate happiness and instead
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  Speaker 1: focused on letting myself feel focused on having no plan
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  Speaker 1: at all instead of just like being on high alert
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  Speaker 1: and having all of my walls up and needing to
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  Speaker 1: have a plan at all times. What if I navigated
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  Speaker 1: it as I go. Am I scared about doing that
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  Speaker 1: because I'm scared of opening myself up and being vulnerable
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  Speaker 1: with the world. Yes, yes, one hundred percent, one hundred
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  Speaker 1: and twenty five percent. Yes, But sometimes really great things
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  Speaker 1: can happen if you just kind of throw your hands
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  Speaker 1: up in the air and say, let's just feel this out.
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  Speaker 1: Feeling can be scary. I feel as though I am
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  Speaker 1: very aware that I am doing a lot of that lately.
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  Speaker 1: But if we don't take the time to feel then
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  Speaker 1: well I'll tell you firsthand, it's going to catch up
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  Speaker 1: to you. So the walk was good. Talking about this
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  Speaker 1: feels good, and now you know, we'll feel out. What's next?
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  Speaker 1: I prompt for you this week? What is something that's
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  Speaker 1: not working for you right now? Again? What is something
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  Speaker 1: in your life that is not working for you right now?
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  Speaker 1: That's it, Just identify it and now a listener question.
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  Speaker 2: Hi, Emily, my name is Chrissy, and I'm sitting here
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  Speaker 2: with my early morning coffee reflecting on the past few days.
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  Speaker 2: In order to mentally prepare for my upcoming work week.
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  Speaker 2: The perspective I would love to hear from you is
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  Speaker 2: what are some tips to protect your energy from negative coworkers?
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  Speaker 2: I work king to setting like many do, that is
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  Speaker 2: stressed and strength from the pandemic. I'd love to hear
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  Speaker 2: ways that I could help to support or work more
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  Speaker 2: collaboratively with my coworkers who either wear the weight to
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  Speaker 2: the pandemic or appear to have different moral guidelines in
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  Speaker 2: myself without me taking on their negative outlooks. Thank you
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  Speaker 2: so much for taking the time to listen to this message,
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  Speaker 2: and I love what you do for all of your hurdlers.
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  Speaker 1: Strong question everyone. Just a quick note here. I love
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  Speaker 1: answering all types of questions, So a huge shout out
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  Speaker 1: to everyone that actually called in after I put a
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  Speaker 1: call out for more last week. There's a link in
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  Speaker 1: the show notes where you can click leave me a
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  Speaker 1: voice message, and you can ask me your questions by
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  Speaker 1: clicking that. So pop in there ask me your questions.
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  Speaker 1: They can literally be about anything, and I actually really
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  Speaker 1: enjoy this one from Chrissy. Okay, so dealing with negative
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  Speaker 1: energy at work be really taxing, right, because this is
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  Speaker 1: an environment that you don't choose to get to be
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  Speaker 1: in So when it comes to protecting yourself and your
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  Speaker 1: energy and your boundaries, you have to identify what's actually
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  Speaker 1: within your control and how you can do that while
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  Speaker 1: still operating and getting your job done. Sounds complicated, right,
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  Speaker 1: So something that's important in this scenario is understanding and
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  Speaker 1: kind of re establishing with these individuals that you have
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  Speaker 1: a mutual goal. You all hopefully have the company's betterment
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  Speaker 1: in mind. Do you all have a common purpose which
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  Speaker 1: is to do your job and execute on whatever your
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  Speaker 1: tasks may be the best thing you can do to
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  Speaker 1: protect your energy in a scenario where you don't really
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  Speaker 1: have a say who is around you is to ask yourself,
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  Speaker 1: what is it that I really need in this moment,
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  Speaker 1: and this moment being the workday. So if you're dealing
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  Speaker 1: with frustrating co workers, regularly surround yourself in your space
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  Speaker 1: with some things that bring you calm and things that
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  Speaker 1: bring you joy. Make sure you're finding small pockets of
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  Speaker 1: time throughout your day to give back to you, whether
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  Speaker 1: that's making some sort of a morning coffee routine, getting
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  Speaker 1: up from your desk every so often, If you have
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  Speaker 1: that opportunity taking time to breathe. That can be really important,
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  Speaker 1: even if it's just five deep inhalations for inhale for
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  Speaker 1: four seconds, hold for four seconds, exal for four seconds
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  Speaker 1: and repeat. So a bunch of little self care rituals here.
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  Speaker 1: But one of your strategy that I will highlight is
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  Speaker 1: that oftentimes we kind of have this tendency to label
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  Speaker 1: individuals or make them out to be a certain someone
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  Speaker 1: without taking the opportunity to really try to get to
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  Speaker 1: know them. I'm not saying you need to become or
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  Speaker 1: make an attempt to be best friends with your coworkers,
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  Speaker 1: but what I am saying is because of the work
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  Speaker 1: that you do together, because of what you are forced
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  Speaker 1: to do, you may not try to get to know
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  Speaker 1: them beyond that capacity. But what if you do. What
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  Speaker 1: if you set aside time to go get a coffee
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  Speaker 1: with someone that you are working with more regularly, and
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  Speaker 1: if you happen to be remote, maybe that's a zoom
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  Speaker 1: coffee one on one Try talking to someone that you
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  Speaker 1: work with regularly about something that has nothing to do
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  Speaker 1: with work, and you may find that you have a
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  Speaker 1: different kind of appreciation or a new found understanding of
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  Speaker 1: what makes them tick, and that can help you both
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  Speaker 1: get the work done. Now again, I will reiterate this,
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  Speaker 1: you do not need to become their best friend. But
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  Speaker 1: a big lesson that many of us have learned and
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  Speaker 1: adopted throughout the pandemic is that being a little bit
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  Speaker 1: vulnerable at times can actually do you a whole world
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  Speaker 1: of good. Perfection at the office, it's just like not
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  Speaker 1: a thing anymore, especially now that we see people's kids
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  Speaker 1: running through zoom screens, and the Internet's going out and
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  Speaker 1: there's all these technical difficulties. So just to you, try
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  Speaker 1: to be kind to your co workers, come from a
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  Speaker 1: place of compassion, and do the best you can with
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  Speaker 1: what you have. You know, it's a lot of breathing
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  Speaker 1: through it. It's a lot of removing yourself from a
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  Speaker 1: situation to try to understand where someone else might be
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  Speaker 1: coming from. And honestly, good on you for taking this
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  Speaker 1: step back and thinking about how you can approach this
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  Speaker 1: in a way that's good for you. That's awesome. We're
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  Speaker 1: done here today. Make sure you're following along over on
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  Speaker 1: social at Hurdle Podcast. I'm over at Emily a Body
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  Speaker 1: Another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time.