Latest / She Rises with Ashy & Tijana / 144. 5 Ways to Take up Space: Learn to Love Attention without Being Arrogant

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144. 5 Ways to Take up Space: Learn to Love Attention without Being Arrogant · She Rises with Ashy & Tijana

0:05
Speaker 1: Apoday Production.
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Speaker 2: Welcome to the Sheep Risers podcast. I'm Ashy and I'm Tiana.
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Speaker 3: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to
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Speaker 3: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself.
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Speaker 2: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.
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Speaker 2: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone
0:26
Speaker 2: else is too afraid to talk about.
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Speaker 4: Get ready for your next level of self.
0:31
Speaker 2: Hello everybody, Welcome back to a Wednesday episode, but cool
0:34
Speaker 2: episode for you today. It's all about getting attention, no,
0:38
Speaker 2: just taking up space and not feeling shame around, enjoying attention,
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Speaker 2: being big and bold, and showing who you truly are.
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Speaker 2: So we give you five ways that you can do
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Speaker 2: this and feel really confident about it.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, we want to help you build a relationship with
0:50
Speaker 3: being seen and liking attention in a healthy way. So
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Speaker 3: you don't feel weird or feel arrogant about being a
0:57
Speaker 3: confident version of yourself because there's a lot of negativity
1:00
Speaker 3: around that around or I don't want to become confident
1:02
Speaker 3: because what if it makes me look arrogant? But it's
1:04
Speaker 3: about that, So we want to help you reframe and
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Speaker 3: retrain yourself to see it in a different light.
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Speaker 4: So let's get started.
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Speaker 2: Let's get into it. So the first one is just
1:12
Speaker 2: to be around the right people.
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Speaker 4: Very important.
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Speaker 1: It is the most important.
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Speaker 2: If you have to dim your light to be around
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Speaker 2: certain people, they are not your people. I always say,
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Speaker 2: like the best of friends, of the people you feel
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Speaker 2: most confident with, you'll be like your childlike self. Yeah,
1:27
Speaker 2: you're in a child will come out and he or
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Speaker 2: she will be so playful and so free to just
1:32
Speaker 2: be silly and say whatever. And if you say the
1:34
Speaker 2: wrong thing or you say something like oh fucking mean
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Speaker 2: to say that, it's like cool, yeah.
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Speaker 1: Or good, there's no judgment.
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Speaker 4: That's fine.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, So just really be mindful of who you're being
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Speaker 2: around and how you feel when you do speak and
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Speaker 2: act and be a certain way. Is it coming from
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Speaker 2: a really authentic place or do you feel like you
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Speaker 2: have to put a lid on who you are because
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Speaker 2: it doesn't feel good to do that.
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Speaker 4: That's a big one.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, pay attention to how people make you feel.
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Speaker 3: If you can just sit with yourself whilst you're around
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Speaker 3: other people and just do a little check in with yourself,
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Speaker 3: like do I feel like I need to be small?
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Speaker 3: Do I have to pretend to be somebody that I'm not.
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Speaker 3: Am I putting on a mask right now? Or am
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Speaker 3: I trying to impress this person? I'm actually not even
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Speaker 3: being myself. Like, those little questions will help you understand
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Speaker 3: who the people are around you and how you behave them,
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Speaker 3: because that's going to tell you whether you feel safe
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Speaker 3: with them, whether I feel comfortable, whether you feel like
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Speaker 3: you can fully let loose and open up and be
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Speaker 3: your true, authentic self, or if you're trying to wear
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Speaker 3: some kind of mask.
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Speaker 2: And I honestly think the right people you are enough
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Speaker 2: to ask those questions. If I'm sitting there asking those questions,
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Speaker 2: I'm already not being myself.
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Speaker 4: If something's off. That's a really good point.
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Speaker 1: Actually, if I'm just with.
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Speaker 2: The people who I can just be myself with, I
2:45
Speaker 2: know that my people because they just love and accept
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Speaker 2: me for exactly who.
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Speaker 3: I am, that's a really good point actually. But if
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Speaker 3: you are asking these questions, it'll be helpful for the
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Speaker 3: people you don't absolutely comfortable around. Yeah, I can understand
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Speaker 3: why you're behaving.
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Speaker 2: Like that, So I think that's yeah, definitely context, Yeah,
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Speaker 2: for sure.
3:00
Speaker 3: So the next one is just being confident enough to
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Speaker 3: back what it is that you're standing for beautiful. So
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Speaker 3: no matter what it is, whether it's your opinion, whether
3:08
Speaker 3: it's your perspective, whether it's the way that you see
3:10
Speaker 3: the world, just be willing to own it. You've got
3:13
Speaker 3: to be willing to back yourself, Like, no one can
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Speaker 3: be confident or wear confidence around the things that you're
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Speaker 3: talking about, Like no one can stand up for those things.
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Speaker 3: So if you do it with confidence and somebody still
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Speaker 3: pushes back, that's totally fine. People are allowed to have
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Speaker 3: their opinion. So you have to be willing to stand
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Speaker 3: on your own and be okay being quote unquote like
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Speaker 3: a black sheep having a different voice, having a different opinion.
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Speaker 4: And yes, there are going.
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Speaker 3: To be people who push back, and that may feel
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Speaker 3: scary at times, and it may feel challenging to do
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Speaker 3: that at first, but when you start to implement that
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Speaker 3: and you get a little bit more comfortable using your
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Speaker 3: voice and realizing that you have one, that you can
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Speaker 3: have opinions. You're allowed to speak up, you're allowed to
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Speaker 3: push back, you're allowed to have conflicting beliefs or opinions
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Speaker 3: with other people. And just know that yes, again, like
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Speaker 3: what I said, they will come with people disagreeing with you.
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Speaker 3: It's going to be come with people having different opinion
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Speaker 3: or wanting to go against what it is you're saying.
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Speaker 3: But that's not your responsibility. No, your responsibility is to
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Speaker 3: completely own who you are as a person. Yeah, it's
4:13
Speaker 3: your responsibility to own that every part of who you are.
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Speaker 3: And so if you can just honor yourself in that way,
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Speaker 3: you'll find it's a lot more easier to take up
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Speaker 3: space because you're not trying to pretend to be someone
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Speaker 3: that you're not. You know, it's a lot harder to
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Speaker 3: try to people please, and it's a lot harder to
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Speaker 3: try to wear a mask and pretend to be someone
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Speaker 3: that you're not because you can only keep up a
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Speaker 3: facade for so long. So true, and when you don't
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Speaker 3: have the same amount of energy, you're.
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Speaker 4: Not going to be able to do that as well.
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Speaker 4: Can be tired, you're gonna be exhausted.
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Speaker 3: What about when you don't get enough sleep, You're not
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Speaker 3: going to uphold that facade for as long.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know.
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Speaker 3: So it's so much easier on you and your energy
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Speaker 3: levels if you can just be all of who you are,
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Speaker 3: Because when you do that, what are you doing like
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Speaker 3: you're teaching yourself how to take up space. You're teaching
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Speaker 3: yourself that it's safe to take up space and that
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Speaker 3: you are allowed to have an opinion.
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Speaker 4: And I can only say this from experience.
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Speaker 3: Like I used to be so terrified to take up
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Speaker 3: space because I didn't think I was worthy of doing.
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Speaker 4: So, you know. And then I was like, why am
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Speaker 4: I so scared of this? Why am I so scared
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Speaker 4: of being seen?
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Speaker 3: And only when I started to interject and insert my
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Speaker 3: opinions on my thoughts into conversations with friends.
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Speaker 4: I was like, Oh, it's actually not as scary as
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Speaker 4: I think.
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Speaker 1: It's valued.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's valued, and people actually want to hear my opinions.
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Speaker 1: Goosha.
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Speaker 4: So that was really powerful for me.
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Speaker 2: I used to struggle when people pushed back and suppose
5:28
Speaker 2: this moments where I might still but it's actually okay
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Speaker 2: for people to push back, Yes, you've got your opinion.
5:33
Speaker 2: I feel like COVID was a really interesting time for
5:36
Speaker 2: opposing opinions.
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Speaker 4: We've had a good conversation about this morning, actually, Yeah.
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Speaker 2: And it's like all people were vaccinations and they weren't
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Speaker 2: for it. And I heard about so many friendships ending
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Speaker 2: and relationships ending because of the conflict with it. Whereas
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Speaker 2: I had friends that were choosing to vaccinate and I
5:51
Speaker 2: had friends who were choosing not to vaccinate, but there
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Speaker 2: was never any conflict around.
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Speaker 1: It's like, you're doing what feels good for you. Good
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Speaker 1: on you. Who am I to tell you what to
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Speaker 1: do with your body? And vice versa.
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Speaker 2: It's okay for people to push back and get more
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Speaker 2: comfortable with that was I think. I used to just
6:05
Speaker 2: what everyone else would say, yes, because I wanted to
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Speaker 2: fit in. And if they think them on their team
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Speaker 2: and I agree with them, we're the same person. We're like,
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Speaker 2: you know, think the same way. They'll love and accept
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Speaker 2: me more and want me around more. Which is if
6:15
Speaker 2: I push back and have an opinion, they're going to leave.
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Speaker 2: That's coming from my own wounds. So just yeah, checking
6:20
Speaker 2: where that's coming from. But confidence is so important.
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Speaker 3: And it makes sense why we do that, why we
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Speaker 3: people please and why we want to keep the peace
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Speaker 3: is because anybody who does for argument's sake, like push back,
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Speaker 3: they get labeled arrogance or they get labeled opinionated or
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Speaker 3: how rude, like yeah, simply having a different opinion. But
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Speaker 3: I think that's why The way that you approach it
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Speaker 3: is really important because if you can insert your opinions
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Speaker 3: and your perspectives without being rude about it or without
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Speaker 3: going into that confrontation energy, you're going to be able
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Speaker 3: to hold just like a normal conversation.
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Speaker 4: And go, this is what I believe, Like I'm not
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Speaker 4: here to start a fight with you.
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Speaker 3: But I'm just sharing my opinion and contributing to this conversation.
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Speaker 3: The way that you do it, I think is very important.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, and getting curious, like, oh my gosh, I'm so
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Speaker 2: curious to hear more of that because I've always believed
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Speaker 2: X Y Z. Yes, I loved hear more review and
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Speaker 2: then they feel heard and you're interested in their opinion.
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Speaker 3: Yes, like you're not just trying to stuff your opinion
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Speaker 3: or like your perspective. You're curious about what their side
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Speaker 3: is and you want to understood them too.
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Speaker 2: I love that, Like, Wow, I haven't heard it like
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Speaker 2: that before, because most of the time it is I'm like, whoa,
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Speaker 2: I haven't heard that perspective.
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Speaker 1: That's cool.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm curious also like where did get the information from?
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Speaker 2: Or like where did you hear that? Or you know,
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Speaker 2: just get curious more. Yeah, Yeah, for sure. A game
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Speaker 2: changer for us has been admitting that we love attention.
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Speaker 2: Oh my god, such a game change. I definitely grew
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Speaker 2: up with people saying I was an attention seeker, but
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Speaker 2: it's said in a negative way. Such an attention seeker,
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Speaker 2: like she just wants all the attention.
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Speaker 1: And yeah I do.
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Speaker 2: In dance class, if I was not the point of
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Speaker 2: that triangle at the front, I didn't like it. I
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Speaker 2: wanted to be the best dancer and I've got a
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Speaker 2: competitive nature like I do. I love being on stage.
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Speaker 2: I love performing. I love making impact. I love knowing
7:56
Speaker 2: that they're making a different someone's life. When someone says
7:58
Speaker 2: you've changed my life, I'm like, wow, that's cool, you know.
8:01
Speaker 2: And even day to day, my part it from Steve
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Speaker 2: and always like I love attention. When he says, fuck
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Speaker 2: you look good, I'm like, more, tell me what else
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Speaker 2: you like. It's not bad to like attention. You think
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Speaker 2: about your partner, or your friends, or your kids or
8:16
Speaker 2: someone that you love and they give you attention and
8:17
Speaker 2: make you feel special. You're lying to me if you
8:19
Speaker 2: tell me you don't like that.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, you like that.
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Speaker 3: And we've been super intentional around this because the more
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Speaker 3: that you do things like shadow work, the more that
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Speaker 3: you realize that we will suppress certain parts of ourselves.
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Speaker 3: And for both of us, over the years, we've had
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Speaker 3: this attention seeker, you know, shadow or archetype and part
8:36
Speaker 3: of ourselves that we have rejected in the years. So
8:39
Speaker 3: now in our dynamic, it's so free to just be
8:41
Speaker 3: who we are. They were like, well, we don't see
8:44
Speaker 3: it in a negative light. It's not a negative thing.
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Speaker 3: We see it with neutral eyes. Yes, And we can
8:48
Speaker 3: bring up part of us forward without any judgment, which
8:51
Speaker 3: has totally released any shame that we may have held
8:53
Speaker 3: around actually liking attention. Sit here and tell me that
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Speaker 3: you don't know like everyone does to some degree. And
9:00
Speaker 3: whether you are getting it consciously or you're getting it unconsciously,
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Speaker 3: you're still getting it for sure. And at least way
9:05
Speaker 3: us doing this has been about bringing this part of
9:08
Speaker 3: us forward in a really productive and constructive way, so
9:11
Speaker 3: that we're doing it in a way that we're in
9:13
Speaker 3: control of and it's going out in unconscious ways where
9:15
Speaker 3: we're got to be careful with what I say here.
9:17
Speaker 3: But like posting naked photos on social media, you know, needing.
9:20
Speaker 4: To get it from or men. You know things like that.
9:24
Speaker 4: You know in ways that.
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Speaker 3: Strangers on the internet and in ways that I wouldn't
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Speaker 3: be proud of getting it.
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Speaker 4: We nip that in the bud.
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Speaker 2: We do. I think for the most part, with us
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Speaker 2: enjoying attention to a lot of the time, there's good
9:34
Speaker 2: intentions behind it too. Like I love the attention that
9:37
Speaker 2: I get when I make impact. Like I said before Eve,
9:39
Speaker 2: when I posted my dance video, I loved the attention
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Speaker 2: of people saying, oh my gosh, I want to do this,
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, even inspired media book of dance.
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Speaker 4: Class I'm powering.
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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. I want my relationship to have that spark.
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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. I want my husband to look at
9:50
Speaker 1: me like that.
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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. I want to work hard on my
9:53
Speaker 2: body and feel confident like you do. Like, thank you
9:55
Speaker 2: for posting this. That's good attention, had a positive impact.
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Speaker 2: It's a good attentive impact.
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Speaker 4: Positive impact.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, whereas I'm trying to think of a negative way
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Speaker 2: I've got attention before. I'm sure there'll be plenty, but
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Speaker 2: I do it in a productive way and a lot
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Speaker 2: of time there's really good intentions behind what I'm getting
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Speaker 2: attention for. Yeah, it's like one of the human needs significance.
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Speaker 1: I used to really resist that that was.
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Speaker 2: A human need of mine, and I used to push
10:20
Speaker 2: back on Steve when you used to say that I
10:21
Speaker 2: valued significance. I was like, no, I don't. I value loving,
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Speaker 2: connection and contribution. And I'm like, actually, I love it all.
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Speaker 2: And he's like, so you're telling me when you walk
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Speaker 2: down that aisle where three thousand women are chanting ashy
10:34
Speaker 2: ashy ashy and the whole room has revolved around you,
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Speaker 2: you don't think that's significant.
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Speaker 1: You don't think you're enjoying the significance of everyone screaming
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Speaker 1: your name. I was like, yep, I love it. I
10:45
Speaker 1: was like, wow, it's like it's not.
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Speaker 2: A negative thing. Though I always thought it was like
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Speaker 2: attention seeking, ego driven. Yes, I thought it was in
10:52
Speaker 2: a cocky, arrogant way, and I wanted to be humble
10:55
Speaker 2: and be the good girl and be the nice girl.
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Speaker 1: And then he pointed out like that.
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Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, I love it, And now it's like, yeah,
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Speaker 2: I get to love that and enjoy that and also
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Speaker 2: make beautiful act on women's lives.
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Speaker 4: How cool.
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Speaker 3: I know, it's so beautiful being on social media or
11:09
Speaker 3: just in general having a business or online periness or
11:12
Speaker 3: whatever you're getting attention. Everyone online is fighting for attention.
11:17
Speaker 3: I want to fight for attention so that you buy
11:19
Speaker 3: my product. I want to fight for attention so that
11:22
Speaker 3: you listen to my education.
11:23
Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean? Like everything that your.
11:25
Speaker 2: Attention so I can get a date from you, that's right,
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Speaker 2: dates from men or messages from men.
11:30
Speaker 4: Exactly.
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Speaker 3: Everyone is doing it in some way, shape or form.
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Speaker 3: But the more that you resist it, the more that
11:35
Speaker 3: it will come out in unhealthy ways. And trust me,
11:37
Speaker 3: I'm going to like the way that it comes out.
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Speaker 2: Yeah.
11:39
Speaker 3: So it's a really powerful thing to be okay, to
11:42
Speaker 3: just admit it. And you know, any conversation we've had
11:44
Speaker 3: with other girlfriends around this where we have brought in
11:46
Speaker 3: Stephanie and Tatiana, which is like another aspect of this
11:50
Speaker 3: is owning exactly how we feel, they've been like, oh
11:52
Speaker 3: my god, I feel so free.
11:53
Speaker 4: Why have I not done this? My Yeah? What do
11:55
Speaker 4: you mean? Oh my god, I can do this? You can?
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Speaker 3: You know. It just removes the shame. And I think
12:00
Speaker 3: that's something we all could use a lot more of.
12:03
Speaker 3: And I know, speaking as somebody who has held so
12:06
Speaker 3: much shame in the past. The moment you let that go,
12:09
Speaker 3: it's like that invisible box that you're sitting in. Yeah,
12:12
Speaker 3: of feeling like you're in a cage, but the door
12:14
Speaker 3: is open.
12:15
Speaker 4: Yes you can walk out. Yeah, you can walk out
12:18
Speaker 4: of that cage and own it.
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Speaker 3: And then all of the things that you think people
12:21
Speaker 3: are going to judge you for evaporate because you stop
12:24
Speaker 3: judging yourself for them and spreeing thing ever it is.
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Speaker 2: And we're not saying that everyone wants to be on
12:29
Speaker 2: stage and have her own change their name, like say
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Speaker 2: for Steve for example, and my mom. They don't love
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Speaker 2: attention like I love attention, but Steve loves attention from me. Yeah,
12:37
Speaker 2: he's like a labrador. You can it can never give
12:40
Speaker 2: enough attention to him. It's in a different facet, it's
12:42
Speaker 2: different facets. Yeah, And even mum, she would love more
12:45
Speaker 2: attention from her children, loving on her, visiting her, like
12:48
Speaker 2: calling her, chicking how she's going, you know, connecting with her.
12:52
Speaker 2: We all love it to a certain degree. So we're
12:53
Speaker 2: not saying you have to be like us, no, but
12:55
Speaker 2: just stop squishing the desire to enjoy attention because it
12:58
Speaker 2: is parts of your life where you absolutely love it.
13:00
Speaker 1: And you can enjoy and own it.
13:02
Speaker 3: Another powerful way that will teach you how to take
13:04
Speaker 3: up space is connection with others. So when you are
13:08
Speaker 3: in conversation with others, especially when it comes to really
13:11
Speaker 3: vulnerable topics, what I find has been really helpful for
13:14
Speaker 3: me over the years is learning how to be vulnerable
13:16
Speaker 3: about the things that I actually feel when it comes
13:19
Speaker 3: to that specific dynamic. Say I had insecurity come up,
13:22
Speaker 3: or I had jealousy come up, or just something triggered
13:25
Speaker 3: me for whatever reason and I felt scared to bring
13:27
Speaker 3: it to that person. Learning how to bring that in
13:31
Speaker 3: and actually take up space in the moment of being like,
13:34
Speaker 3: I'm allowed to vent to this person. I'm allowed what
13:36
Speaker 3: I feel is valid, it's real for me. I get
13:41
Speaker 3: to feel this and not squashing it and dismissing your
13:43
Speaker 3: feelings and emotions because you think that all.
13:46
Speaker 4: I don't want to take up space.
13:46
Speaker 3: I don't want to be a burden, you know. I
13:48
Speaker 3: don't want to talk about myself what I want to
13:49
Speaker 3: be selfish.
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Speaker 1: Like, I don't want to see me in a different life.
13:51
Speaker 3: Yes, I don't want to impact the way that they
13:53
Speaker 3: see me. So learning how to take up. Space can
13:56
Speaker 3: feel a lot like a vulnerability hangover. Sometimes were like,
13:59
Speaker 3: but I don't want to talk about me, I want
14:01
Speaker 3: to talk about you. Yeah, And you might even be
14:03
Speaker 3: the person because I was like this, the person who
14:05
Speaker 3: would always hold space everybody else, but then didn't know
14:08
Speaker 3: how to have the spotlight on me, you know, until
14:10
Speaker 3: I had to practice sitting in the discomfort of somebody
14:13
Speaker 3: actually listening to me and holding space for me and
14:16
Speaker 3: being like, hey, it's your turn.
14:18
Speaker 2: You know.
14:18
Speaker 3: I think as women, we can naturally be a little
14:20
Speaker 3: bit more self abandoning, and so we are used to that,
14:23
Speaker 3: Like how many women are moms who are self neglecting?
14:27
Speaker 3: And you know is the person who goes last and
14:29
Speaker 3: eats last and washes herself last and all of those things,
14:32
Speaker 3: you know, same thing goes for conversation. So practice if
14:36
Speaker 3: you can, and if you feel comfortable being vulnerable with
14:39
Speaker 3: what's actually coming up for you, whether it's in your
14:42
Speaker 3: relationship with your husband or your partner, or your best
14:45
Speaker 3: friend or your.
14:45
Speaker 4: Sibling or your sister or whoever.
14:48
Speaker 3: Something is coming up for you, be like, hey, like
14:50
Speaker 3: this is going on for me right now and I
14:52
Speaker 3: could really use, you know, some space to hold it
14:54
Speaker 3: for me.
14:55
Speaker 1: It's beautiful. I love that.
14:57
Speaker 2: And then last one would be just to unpack where
14:59
Speaker 2: along the line someone said something to you that's impacted you.
15:02
Speaker 2: So for me, I push it down because it's like, oh,
15:04
Speaker 2: you're such an attention see so, oh shit, that's bad. Normally,
15:07
Speaker 2: when we suppress something, it's because someone says something along
15:09
Speaker 2: the ways and it's been quote unquote bad and looked
15:12
Speaker 2: down upon, or you've been pushed out of the tribe
15:15
Speaker 2: because it's not accepted to be like that. So with
15:17
Speaker 2: anything like that, I think it's really important to try
15:19
Speaker 2: and wind it back to where you might have heard that.
15:21
Speaker 1: It mightn't be your parents the same you're.
15:23
Speaker 2: Too loud, like everyone's looking at us, you're embarrassing me,
15:26
Speaker 2: like so crying so loudly, keep it down in a
15:29
Speaker 2: room full of important people, you know, just moments like that.
15:32
Speaker 2: There can be little micro moments with children that really
15:34
Speaker 2: impact you growing up.
15:36
Speaker 1: And I don't think it's parents don't realize how often
15:38
Speaker 1: we do it.
15:39
Speaker 2: So if you've got a story that you're too much,
15:42
Speaker 2: you're too loud, you are an attention seeking whore, find
15:45
Speaker 2: out where it's come from, and then ask yourself like
15:48
Speaker 2: what I can do to unpack that story and dissolve
15:50
Speaker 2: it away, because otherwise you let it rule your life,
15:52
Speaker 2: then you prevent yourself from actually enjoying it. I think
15:55
Speaker 2: that can prevent connection, it can prevent impact, It can
15:58
Speaker 2: prevent you just living your best life. That's holding you back,
16:01
Speaker 2: and you're hanging on to that story as truth and
16:03
Speaker 2: it's not actually truth. In that moment, you might have
16:05
Speaker 2: been very loud in I don't know wherever you were
16:07
Speaker 2: with your parents, for sure. Doesn't mean you as a
16:09
Speaker 2: person is too loud and too much.
16:12
Speaker 1: For everyone else.
16:13
Speaker 4: What story? What are you making it mean? What are
16:15
Speaker 4: you making it mean? For sure?
16:17
Speaker 1: Because it can be really really damaging.
16:19
Speaker 4: Definitely can And yeah, I know we said five, but
16:21
Speaker 4: I've got a six.
16:22
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, go for it.
16:23
Speaker 3: So I was just reflecting on my journey and what
16:26
Speaker 3: I've kind of done to take up space, and I
16:28
Speaker 3: feel things like being bold in what I'm wearing and
16:31
Speaker 3: how I choose to express myself has been a way
16:33
Speaker 3: that I've learned how to take up space, right Because
16:35
Speaker 3: when I think about us all wanting to get along
16:37
Speaker 3: and wanting to be a part of the gang and
16:39
Speaker 3: the tribe, and connecting with other people.
16:41
Speaker 4: It's like we all tend to follow the crowd, you know.
16:44
Speaker 3: I mean not everybody obviously, but like in the past,
16:46
Speaker 3: I've done that, and what I did was like I
16:49
Speaker 3: would follow the way people behave or what they would do,
16:52
Speaker 3: how they would dress or act, and then I never
16:54
Speaker 3: really allowed myself to explore how I wanted to express myself.
16:57
Speaker 3: I feel like I've really come into that a lot
16:59
Speaker 3: this last like six months or a year, where I've
17:02
Speaker 3: really allowed myself to go, Okay, well, I know this
17:05
Speaker 3: is trending, but like, what do I want to wear?
17:07
Speaker 4: You know, I know this is normal for what everybody
17:10
Speaker 4: else is doing right now.
17:10
Speaker 3: Everyone's got like the clean girl aesthetic, and I'm like,
17:12
Speaker 3: I want to wear my hair and little clips and boats. Yeah,
17:14
Speaker 3: they're real pretty like finding ways to express myself where
17:18
Speaker 3: I'm pushing outside of the confines of my story of
17:21
Speaker 3: what people will judge me for.
17:22
Speaker 4: Yeah, and what I need to do to fit in, you.
17:24
Speaker 3: Know, of like you know, the fear of like, oh
17:26
Speaker 3: but that will make me different, but it'll make me different.
17:28
Speaker 4: Be different.
17:30
Speaker 3: Give yourself permission to be different if you don't want
17:32
Speaker 3: to follow the trends. Don't follow the trends. If you
17:34
Speaker 3: want to do something different and nobody else around you
17:37
Speaker 3: is doing it, do it because that is you, in
17:40
Speaker 3: a way, taking up space without actually having to voice anything.
17:43
Speaker 4: It's you being bold in the choices that you make.
17:45
Speaker 4: It's you being bold in the things that.
17:47
Speaker 3: You wear and the way that you want to express
17:49
Speaker 3: yourself and how you want to speak, or how you communicate,
17:52
Speaker 3: or how you want to love boldly like all of
17:54
Speaker 3: those things, are you choosing to take up space in
17:58
Speaker 3: your own life and not willing to squish yourself into
18:02
Speaker 3: this box that we keep talking about around who you
18:05
Speaker 3: think you need to be in order to get acceptance
18:06
Speaker 3: from others. It's so cool because taking up space is
18:09
Speaker 3: not just about taking up space with others. It's about
18:11
Speaker 3: taking up space within yourself, who you are as a woman.
18:15
Speaker 3: Be louder, be bolder, allow yourself to push beyond the
18:18
Speaker 3: confines of that limitation you have of I can't speak
18:21
Speaker 3: up here, I can't say this, I can't wear this,
18:23
Speaker 3: I can't do this, I can't.
18:24
Speaker 4: Behave like that.
18:25
Speaker 3: Push beyond the comfort zone of what that looks like,
18:28
Speaker 3: and that's how you'll learn how to take up space.
18:29
Speaker 4: That's really cool, Mike drop what she said so cool.
18:34
Speaker 2: So we hope you can just reflect on this episode
18:36
Speaker 2: and checking with yourself where you're holding yourself back or
18:39
Speaker 2: you have a story that you're too much or too
18:41
Speaker 2: loud and depriving yourself of enjoying attention and being big
18:44
Speaker 2: and bold. If that's within you, that it's shine that
18:47
Speaker 2: it comes through. And also the more you do that,
18:49
Speaker 2: And that's why we want to talk about it because
18:50
Speaker 2: we want other women. We want to have this ripple
18:52
Speaker 2: effect of other women be like I actually like attention too.
18:55
Speaker 2: I'm going to show up on social media.
18:56
Speaker 1: I'm going to do this.
18:56
Speaker 2: I'm going to speak up and share my opinion next
18:59
Speaker 2: time instead of just sitting back thinking that no one
19:01
Speaker 2: wants to hear it, or that I'll be pushed out
19:03
Speaker 2: if so. And if people push you out that you're
19:05
Speaker 2: having an opinion, they're not your people. You don't be
19:07
Speaker 2: around those people. We're going to be around people that
19:08
Speaker 2: will help you expand and fte more conversation and have
19:12
Speaker 2: that not conflict, but back and forth of sharing opinions
19:15
Speaker 2: to learn and be more open minded to what else
19:17
Speaker 2: other people think.
19:17
Speaker 3: Absolutely, and this is a huge conversation around just being
19:21
Speaker 3: willing to be a bigger version of yourself. Yeah, Because
19:23
Speaker 3: if you're willing to admit that you enjoy attention, that
19:25
Speaker 3: you actually want more of it, will you're willing to
19:28
Speaker 3: be seen for not the watered down version of you.
19:31
Speaker 3: You're willing to be seen for the big version of you,
19:32
Speaker 3: for the bold version of you, for the one who
19:34
Speaker 3: has opinions, speaks up, who wants all of those things,
19:37
Speaker 3: who is free.
19:38
Speaker 4: In who you actually are?
19:40
Speaker 3: You know, so you're allowing to be like, hey, like
19:42
Speaker 3: I want to be seen for who I truly am.
19:44
Speaker 3: You have to be willing to be yourself first before
19:46
Speaker 3: you'll allow that to happen. You will feel resistance when
19:49
Speaker 3: you first do it. It's gonna feel little bit scary,
19:50
Speaker 3: it's gonna feel unnatural, it's going to feel a little
19:52
Speaker 3: bit ah.
19:53
Speaker 4: But you'll also be excited by it too.
19:55
Speaker 3: Yeah, you be like, Wow, I'm finally breaking free of
19:57
Speaker 3: this mold that I keep trying to stuff myself into.
19:59
Speaker 2: Yeah, and think about anyone that you're really inspired by,
20:02
Speaker 2: whether it's a super successful business woman or a actor,
20:05
Speaker 2: or just someone that you're in admiration of. They're taking
20:08
Speaker 2: up space and they don't give two shits what Sally
20:11
Speaker 2: Underscore eighty eight on Instagram thinks of them. They are
20:14
Speaker 2: taking up space big bold then you could ever dream of.
20:18
Speaker 2: The sky's are limits, and they're going at it hard,
20:20
Speaker 2: and you're so inspired by them because look at the
20:22
Speaker 2: big bold moves that they do and the life they've
20:24
Speaker 2: created for themselves. It's from taking up space, not from
20:27
Speaker 2: sitting back and being the quiet, little good girl in
20:29
Speaker 2: the corner just agreeing and saying yes to everything to
20:31
Speaker 2: make everyone else happy.
20:32
Speaker 4: No rising, Yeah, big gacious.
20:36
Speaker 2: They're okay to harbord posing opinions on them. They're still
20:38
Speaker 2: going to stand their ground and share their opinion set.
20:41
Speaker 1: Up for what they believe in. Yeah, well in who
20:43
Speaker 1: they are, that's exactly right. We hope this helps you
20:46
Speaker 1: enjoy that attention.
20:48
Speaker 2: Do you have any situations like this or any other
20:50
Speaker 2: topics to.
20:51
Speaker 1: Expand on this? We'd love to know. You can always
20:52
Speaker 1: jump into as She.
20:53
Speaker 2: Rises for them, just on Facebook search She Rises and
20:56
Speaker 2: you can add yourself in there.
20:57
Speaker 4: Absolutely, have a good date and we'll see you on
20:59
Speaker 4: the next one. Good Bye, bye,