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Nervous System Regulation ( for normal people :) · The Habit Lab

• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: We all have areas in our life we might feel stuck or overwhelmed.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: So join me, Jenna Zint, habit coach, teacher, and follower of Jesus, as we go after little bits of better by building offensively small habits that create big impact.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Habit Lab Podcast.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Habit Lab.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Jenna Zint.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: I am doing a marriage course for wives only in this episode, which is called Nervous System Regulation for Normal People, like the ABCs of nervous system regulation.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: I was trying to think of really ways to, or nervous system regulation for dummies.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Do you guys remember those books in the 90s?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: It was like accounting for dummies, calculus for dummies.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: This would be in that vein of how deep we're gonna go.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: So if you know a ton about it, this is not that.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is more practical, habit-wise, and even just like begin to notice and consider it more, is what I would say.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: So um, but fun fact, this is actually a snippet of one of the lessons, not the whole thing, um, in my course that I'm just about to launch, which is for wives.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's a marriage course for wives only, and it's called Your Half of the Marriage, six weeks.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I actually think by the time you're hearing this, registration will be live, no longer just the interest list.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: So you could sign up immediately.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: We'd love to have you.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna start late September.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: But what I want to talk about today is your nervous system regulation.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: But right out of the gate, I want to be clear.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, I'm giggling that I'm about to say what my next line.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: I am not a neuroscientist.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: So if anyone was confused, wrong podcast.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just imagining Joy, my friend Joy, being like, What?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Jenna is not a neuroscientist.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: I really, really thought.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm also obviously not a therapist or even an expert on the nervous system.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: I have done a decent amount of learning and it's been super helpful for me and my my life.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: But again, going back to the idea of this is not that episode.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: This is like nervous system regulation for dummies, is what I would say.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's baby step version.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's something that like the Lord has been teaching me in my own life to notice, and then in the noticing and and almost like giving myself the care it needs in the moment.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: I've made so many less messes with Erin, with other people, with myself, with my kids.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: I actually saw this thing on Instagram the other day that was like uh more than two-thirds of parenting is just getting your own system regulated, your nervous system regulated before you help them regulate theirs.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because we make messes when we don't.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so this is just a really simple basic framework.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I if I were to start anywhere, I think like again, the noticing, sometimes what we don't realize when we're triggered.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: So let's say a kid not listening, a husband going rogue with plans for the day, or forgetting the plans for the day, or deviating from the plans for the day, or yeah, any level of whatever it could be.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: It actually almost doesn't matter what the incident is.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if you find yourself looping or having a hard time bouncing back, or you can't get out of it, if you can't think your way out of it, um, that is a sign to me that my nervous system is regulated and that I need to address my body before I address my thoughts.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and just really simple.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, okay, it's almost when our nervous system is regulated, it is not possible to think better first.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's your body needs some support first and then breakthrough in your thoughts, in your emotions, mindset, whatever beliefs could happen second.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: So this is just like an order of operations where we miss we can miss it for so long.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: So what I kind of just think to myself, again, when I'm triggered and not able to come off of it, and I'll we have a couple episodes.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'll link um to the episode we did about different various expressions of trigger, but um my very simple phrase for myself as I was trying to remember, sometimes my nervous system's activated, and this is not a words moment, this is a body moment.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: I think regulate first, process second.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: So again, words not first, body first, body first, words second.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I a lot of times we can approach very difficult emotions when they're height, when they're big, when they're when we get stuck in them, or when we're looping, can't get out of them, primarily as a thinking problem.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: So, for instance, like I don't know, if you're thinking about if you're stuck in an emotion and it's you're treating it like a thinking problem, going straight to why am I feeling this?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: What am I believing?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Is this thought true?
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: What do I need to do about this?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and those are actually really good questions.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's just this whole order of operation where we try to process with an active, on fire nervous system, which your prefrontal cortex is shut off, which that part of your brain makes great decisions, and your fight or flight is raring and it makes really caveman-like decisions.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not like the questions are bad.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: You're just doing it with tools.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: You're doing it when your like brain is offline and your nervous system's on fire.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: So great questions, wrong order of operation.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so noticing when I'm completely overwhelmed, if I'm furious, fuming, if I'm anxious, if I'm shut down, like really lethargic, having a hard time like acting like motivating myself, or if I'm spinning, most of the time, that is not your best moment to sit down and figure out, ask those deep questions.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like, remember how we we did an episode a couple on the marriage lab about don't ask triggered people deep questions.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Well, this would be part of don't ask yourself when you are the triggered person, do not self-reflect deep questions.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I like my literal simple thought again when you go regulate first, process second, is I think I need to get back into my body before I can engage my brain.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna give some real simple practical habits on what that means, but it's just I most people, this first step of remembering and considering your nervous systems activated is is the hardest.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's we have not been trained or wired, you know, in being brought up as kids and adults to actually consider that we're nervous, like it's a body thing before it's a mind thing.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I actually think most of your work, that's why I would say nervous system for regulation, or sorry, for dummies or for normal people, whatever you want to call it.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry that I'm calling you guys dummies.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you know that book chain that I'm referencing or brands I'm referencing.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, anyways, but I think very simple, we have to actually remember to get back in our bodies before we engage our brains.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so many people forget that and just try to like almost like wrestle a pig if that's a mindset when your nervous system's act activated and you're trying to process well or get somewhere with thoughts only.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's like, man, that's a slippery, unhelpful, lots of energy.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: So get back in your body first and then engage your brain.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there's actually this really cool concept, it's a framework.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if I cited who discovered it, but it's a well-known concept in psychology.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Psychiatrist.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: I always panic.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like psychologically that was not it.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: As soon as I said it.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: But, anyways, it's a concept called your window of tolerance.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and again, neuroscience, but not because I'm a neuroscientist.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why that joke is cracking me up today.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's really not that funny.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think I have the giggles.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but basically what this concept says is there is a range.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you think of your um, you know, like a number line, except uh remember where you have like zero and then negative tens on one end and positive tens on the other.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think of like so with your nervous system, you know, like your spine, you're we're vertical, we're not as horizontal people.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: So think of a number line flipped going up and down your spine.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: So positive 10 and negative 10 and neutrals in the middle.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that's kind of where I help.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're actually trying to, which the neutral zero in the middle.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: There's like a window, it's not just one one place, you know, but that's kind of what we're aiming for.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like there's this range when we're activated, when we're triggered, when we're stuck in emotion, when we cannot regulate, when our nervous system is on again, I think of it like my nervous system is flared.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's like on fire.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: My body is dysregulated, my brain's offline.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but anyways, this little window of tolerance is when when we get to that range, I think of it as like the range of self-control.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: So we have to first get our bodies back to that range before we do the second tools, which would be thoughts, beliefs, mindset work.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: So most people try to manhandle themselves into mindset work when they're out of their window of tolerance.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: But um, you have to get regulated enough that we can then that we can think, connect, make decisions, and like respond purposefully and manage ourselves.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I kind of think of the window of tolerance when I first heard this concept of my window of self-control where I'm able to control myself.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times when we get out of it, it's just we shame ourselves versus hey, hey, hey, this is not a brain thing, this is a body thing.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Go get your like, go give your body what it needs so that you can then use your brain and activate self-control.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: So you can get back into that chance.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: You're like out of the negative to be able to utilize self-control.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: So if we think about like that range, like I said, the number line on its side, um, hyper arro arousal can be, I think they, I think I can't remember if this was literal science.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: I just wrote up.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: But what it is is anxious, angry, frantic, overwhelm, racing.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: Or if you go to hypo, which is down, it's flat, it's disconnected, it's numb, it's checked out, it's maybe burned out, it's exhausted.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, also many people with ADHD emotional regulations harder.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: I was listening to this book that said our window of tolerance can be even smaller, but I won't um I won't actually dive into that as much because that feels like not for normal people.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: No, I don't mean that.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't mean ADHD people aren't normal, but I mean that's a little deeper of a of a topic that I'm gonna go on for this.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: So the question I've really just simply started asking isn't when I'm feeling when I when I can't when I'm getting triggered and I can't get out of it, how do I stop feeling this?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: I actually think more about, again, it's not a mind thing, it's not a heart thing right now, it's a body thing.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so many of us don't consider our bodies first.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: So body first, get back in your body, then deal with the heart or mind second.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like I cannot emphasize like that is the biggest habit adjustment for me.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: So and so I think sometimes like, what state am I in right now?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: And what kind of input, which I think habit, pretty much all the nervous system regulations that I'm gonna give you, which aren't Jenna's ideas.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: They're actually I did some research to make sure I was like, hey, these are what I do.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Is this accurate?
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: And you're like, that's what I would think.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, anyways, so when I think of like a mini habit for my nervous system regulation to get back in my body when I'm triggered, um, to move me back towards my window of tolerance.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of how do I stop feeling this or how do I think my way out of this, I'm like, okay, am I high, you know, like am I out of my window of tolerance, either up or down?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: And what kind of input would help my move my body back towards middle ground?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: So different states, like hyper, you know, like what did I say?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Anxious, angry, racing, overwhelmed versus, you know, like downregulated hypo, which is flat, disconnected, numb, they need different tools.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're not gonna do the same thing for when you're overwhelmed when you are numb or exhausted.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like if you're in racing, for me with ADHD, racing is usually what I do when I'm overwhelmed because I feel frantic to try to get it out or to get it all done to minimize my overwhelmed.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Where Aaron actually more often goes to hypo where he's disconnected or freezes when he's overwhelmed, or when I'm exhausted.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: So we actually I didn't mean to use Aaron because I wanted to use me for both.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: So when I'm exhausted, the tool I need is different for when I'm frantic.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I think about sometimes I think about like the nervous system regulation and the habits that help you get back in your body that give your body what it needs so that you can then think your way to a different spot.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: You can't think your way when you're out of your window or tolerance, um, is like food.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: So for instance, this analogy like when you're dehydrated, you need water.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: When your blood sugar is low, you probably need some protein.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, protein is not better than water.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: Water is not exclusively better than protein.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like we realize they serve different functions and they solve different things.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what I want you to start thinking of with these mini um nervous system regulation habits that I'm gonna give you.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: Thinking about them like, oh, some are gonna solve when I'm numb and exhausted, and some are gonna solve when I'm overwhelmed and frantic.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Different tools, neither bad or wrong.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's just different.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what you need something different in the different states.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: There isn't one magical nervous system habit repeat, repeat, no reset that everybody needs.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: So there's not a nervous system habit that's a one size fits all for everybody.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Your flavor might not be my flavor, but I think really it's just again going back to the paying attention to what your you actually need, which is a body need first, mind thought uh need second.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so for me, some of again, what have I learned?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, when people are low blood sugar, they need protein when they're dehydrated, water.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, when I'm angry or really activated, movement is huge for me.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I will go for a run or lift weights or do something.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, this is hilarious, but I've been doing these little miniature habits to regulate my nervous system and get back in my body so long that I actually know I need to sweat for 12 minutes, 12 to 15 minutes, and then I can get out of whatever hyper state I'm in.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: So if it's anxious, if it's angry, if it's um, yeah, like one of those, usually anxious and angry are really when I I run.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: If I can sweat for 12 minutes, y'all, I will get back into my window of tolerance.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it's funny because it's not even has to be hard run.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like I don't actually, I'm like a 13, 12 minute miler.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: So not a fast hard run.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: But if I can just sweat, my nervous system, what they call it, I think they call it hard work.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's the term for a physical occupational therapist, does enough hard work that my body can re-regulate and back into my window of tolerance.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost like, you know, when your cup's really full and you take a sip off the top so it doesn't spill.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I kind of think of doing a 12-minute sweat.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, so when I can get sweating, it really helps me move through that physical state of being that my nervous system needs to be able to get to some of the thoughts that I need to now address.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: And again, it's not a magical number for everybody.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's because I've been doing it for years.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: So my takeaway or my hope for you for this takeaway is to try one of these tools the next time you notice you're triggered or dysregulated.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, body first, which one of the body first regulation habits am I gonna try?
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Am I gonna try sweating for 12 minutes?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Am I gonna try a nap?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Am I gonna try going to put my feet grounded in the the backyard and close my, you know, maybe I can't actually sleep, but just close my eyes in the sun.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm skipping ahead.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: But the point is to try long enough to get your own data for yourself.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: And what is not what is true is that there's not this magical state, you know, like if you drink if you're in hypo, so maybe you're numbed out or exhausted or having a hard time activating yourself to do a task, maybe you drink a cup of coffee and it does.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: So none of these nervous system habits, again, not not my idea.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think I actually make a formal list of what they recommend, um, are magic, like instant.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: So you cannot, well, most of the time when I work with clients and recommend them, it takes a couple months before you start to notice.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: Just like a good skincare, ladies.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: Anyone else in your 40s that you're like, okay, what is retinal?
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Retin, yes, retin.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm kidding, but there is a lot of different products out there that I'm like, chat, help me understand.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: The other day I went to Ulta and I had a gift card, and I literally was like, This is what my face looks like, this is what I need help with, this is how old I am, this is my concern, and it gave me a lot of ideas.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, this is my budget, and then it gave me more, like narrowed, and then it gave me more narrowed, and then I was like, and now I'm in Ulta and I cannot find that anywhere.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: Where would I go in Ulta?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: It was like I was talking to my robot friend in my pocket, and I definitely got some looks, but you know what, y'all?
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: I walked out of there not confused with two products for my face.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, gosh, I don't even know why I was gonna say that.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, slow results.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_00: Just imagining that these habits are gonna give you slow results.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so learn to take care of your body, practice, try, repeat.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: Again, 12 minutes, 10 minutes, five minutes.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: It is not a it is offensively small, but get back in your body first.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so when I'm really angry, what does not help is sitting perfectly still.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: So again, one of my regulation habits is to go sit in my backyard.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: I literally have my blanket, a blanket out there now and a pillow because I was after the kids left in a bit of a frenzy this morning, I went out and had some like quiet time to like calm down, um, which was helpful to kind of like get present again with my chaotic thoughts.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's like catch my thoughts is what I need.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: But if I'm angry and I go do that exact same nervous regulation habit, it is just gonna have me stewing.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm actually gonna loop and probably get more dysregulated often because there's nothing to knock out or almost like take out some of the anger or work through the anger physically.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just kind of stewing in it.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: Again, Jenna flavor, that part is not science.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: It really can be different people.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: I actually think I have heard that sweating helps you work through anger and anxious in a different way.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I that's but I don't know that everybody can't sit while they're angry and find calm.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: That might be unique to me.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I read anything about that.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so you gotta get to you gotta learn, you gotta try different tools.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: You have to have a almost like a tool belt of little offensively small habits that will get you back in your body, help you regulate your nervous system so you get back within your window of con of tolerance so that you can then activate your brain and use and hear the Lord clearly and differently rather than just your own thoughts.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I move first and then I come back and ask, okay, what happened?
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: Why did it affect me?
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: What do I believe?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: Holy Spirit, what's the next step?
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: Or what Holy Spirit, what do I believe?
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe I just have to ask, maybe I don't even have clarity on my own, but I would invite Holy Spirit to all of those.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: But again, your takeaway from this lesson is regulate first, process second.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: Even with our spouses, when our spouses are around, I've noticed we'll try to like process with them first when we're actually a smidge dysregulated.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: Go get back in your body and then open your mouth.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: I do not open my mouth.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: Again, nerve thinking of opening my mouth, meaning I have now decided that I am in within my window of tolerance.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: I do not open my mouth until I have done something for my body regulation first.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because I just, it's almost like it just spews on everybody.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: What it doesn't mean I have to be perfect or per protect, you know, like the people around me show up perfect in process, but it's it's actually not a word thing.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: Again, it's a body thing first, word second.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, next one.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I need a really strong sensory input.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: So another thing that works for personally for me is cold.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I we you guys know, like so we have a pool in our backyard that I'll I don't do polar plunges for the sake of the health benefits of fits, or do I do them on a right, they're not part of my um fitness or recovery plan.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: They actually are part of my nervous system regulation plan.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: So cold plunges for me, and again, because we're not doing it for the scientific benefit, you can choose your temperature of cold.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: This varies greatly for for people, but I actually do this for my kids.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: If I when I do a cold plunge, if I'm feeling angry, overwhelmed, stuck, triggered, or lethargic, sometimes I'll do, I'll go do either my backyard or I'll get a cold.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: They say that you can even do, you know, at the end of your shower if you just switch it to cold for like a minute.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: That could do a similar.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes I'll just get in my shower, wrap my hair up, you know, like not for like a few minutes to be like, okay, I need, I need a strong sensory input to get me back in my body.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then if you have kiddos that are like this, some of us are more aware for our kiddos than we are for ourselves or willing to do it for our kids before we do it for ourselves.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, you gotta get it just as diligent about body first, a regulation habit before you process.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, so cold exposure does not just calm your system, it actually creates a significant, this is kind of an interesting, again, different tools.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: Habit is to get back in my body, different purpose for this tool.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: But what does it say?
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: It creates a significant psychological stress response initially.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: So what I'm not saying is that it's dysregulation, but if I'm that roomba stuck in the corner, uh a true brief cold plunge, I mean, sorry, not true, but like a brief cold plunge will just, it's like it's turning the vacuum the other way to now face the rest of the room.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, okay.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: I actually we have our kids do this.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: One of the chores after school sometimes when my kids, if they're just not quite right coming home from school, we will actually be like, okay, everyone has to swim.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's cold.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: No problem.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to jump in three times and then you could because this works so well.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, yo, for like a nervous system.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like again, it's almost like you're glitching and it gets you back online.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: Does not calm you down, but it does help you when you're glitching.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: So uh strong sensory input can absolutely interrupt what happens in your system.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: Just like last night I had a hard time falling asleep.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I actually took a hot bath.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: I got out of bed and took a hot bath because my brain was racing and I needed to come down to my window of tolerance, not come up to.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so that helps me.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe cold isn't yours.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: Again, experiment.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: Also, cold temperature does not have to be 50.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: It could be, I'm I'm an Atlantic Ocean girl, so my cold is actually a lot colder than most of my girlfriends.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: Your cold could be 65.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: No problem.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: Your cold could be a slightly chillier shower, no problem.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: Just experiment with getting back in your body before you open your mouth.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, again, or before you process.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not trying to be as intense.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: I these short little phrases just help me so much when I'm trying to start noticing because like the gap between our automatic response is so small, like we go to instant.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm trying to give you really simple phrases that have helped me create a gap between um noticing I'm triggered and doing something or saying something or thinking something.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, okay, what does my body need?
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_00: How do I get back in my body right now?
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: How do I, what nervous system regulation habit physically could I do that would help me um get back to my window of tolerance?
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes when I'm low, I need to come up.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: So again, that would be also sometimes when I use, like when we're having a lazy after our Sabbath or something like that on a Saturday or Sunday, whenever we're doing it.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: Well, sometimes we'll just go do a polar plunge to get back into to like work mode because we have to do some things before we start the weekend or go to sleep, but we've been enjoying the chill mode that we don't really, none of us want to, and it's so hard.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: So we're like, okay, let's do something, something small.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, again, the other thing I would say giving you sweat for 12 minutes when I'm angry, when I'm feeling low motivation or stuck, I'll do the cold plunge because that major sensory input helps me.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: If I'm feeling frantic internally, I usually go be quiet.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, I'll actually I have um, we have a couple chairs by our pool, which you don't need a pool.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: We didn't have a pool for a couple houses, so but I just had those lounge chairs in my backyard with a pillow and a blanket, not like a full like throws for outside.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I would go when I'd feel frantic or overwhelmed, and I couldn't, I almost like couldn't get a manage on my own internal energy.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: I would go lay for 10 minutes, and it's shocking.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: What I love about that versus a true nap inside is that I don't wake, I don't get to a deep enough sleep that I'm groggy, but my body will literally go, you know how it like does that collapse?
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, okay, it's almost like I can feel it's not true science.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: I asked Chad if that was my nervous system right like deregulating.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, would I be able to feel it drop that much?
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it gave me all the science about sleep and such.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: So it was it is not that, but if you've ever experienced it, I can get that outside in a way I cannot in my bedroom because outside there's sun, there's quiet, um, and then to quiet with also a smidge of noise that allows me to like calm down without zonking out in a way that then tanks tanks me for other things I need to do afterwards.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: So again, not all of it is like ramp up your energy.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but when I am feeling low, maybe I'm feeling tired after the kids or a hard day, um, regulation doesn't always mean you have to calm down if you're already down or you're flat or you're disconnected or you're sad or you have a case of the I don't want us, we call that in our family when you don't want to do anything.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, oh, they have the I don't want us.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, anyways, you you it could actually help you with activation in a different way.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: So for this, maybe happy music and then making yourself dance for one of the songs.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean you want to.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: I think people think of these habits as like overflow of joy.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no, think of them as nervous system regulation tool options, offensively small habits where we're not, if we're low and sad already, do not process that hard thing before you get back into your body or before you give your body, you get back to your window of tolerance.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because whatever you process is gonna be sad and more hopeless than is true because you're dysregulated and your body needs something before you can get somewhere good with your brain process.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I was trying to think, should I keep going some of my list?
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: One last one I have is when I'm overwhelmed, or even even if it's hyper happy or overwhelmed, chaotic or stress with the kids, I will disengage internally and box breathe.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: I do so much of this in my car, especially on my way home from school or when the kids are a lot, or if I'm transitioning from the kids to, you know, coaching or something that's a big energy shift, I will do box breathing because that is a nervous system regulation that helps me kind of adjust and like remind my body we're switching gears.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you can come down.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of us just plow through life, our nervous system is slightly activated.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: Either way, but if you have kids and you're a mom, you're probably overactivated.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why we get to burnout and exhaustion because we never purposely have our bodies come back down.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I think sometimes we want people to do it for us, or we want it to be, I don't know, a spa day.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: And those can work, but if they're too big, again, like all things with habits, you're waiting from massage to massage to have a regulation where, okay, yeah, you're gonna have to do a little bit of work, but please give your body what it needs.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like if your blood sugar was dipping, you'd get protein, you know?
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're not waiting to go to your favorite restaurant to get protein.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_00: You have I almost think of it like a menu of regulation habits for your nervous system to help you get back in your body, body first, then process.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: Uh okay.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: So again, build your own regulation system.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: Your takeaway is not Jenna says, I'm angry, I must run, or I am low motivation, I should jump into the river.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: That sounds really ridiculous.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: But the point is, my flavor is not your flavor, but those are actually proven.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: So like sweating or walking, when I'm actually feeling uh scattered and overwhelmed, so like I can't get a direction, I will plan my day or make my list while walking because that gets a bit of my nervous energy out that I can then focus enough to make a helpful plan where if I'm seated and I make the plan, it's almost uh it almost stews more or I don't get a great plan.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: So walking would be one, like I said, a cold plunge or or a bath to call, you know, something hot or cold, um, a dance, a nap in the, you know, sitting in the sun for 10 minutes.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: There are so many options of flavors.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: You have to go on the journey of actually consistently, when you notice your body's dysregulated, trying and doing them long enough, often enough, to figure out what works for you and when to grab which tool.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: So when you're feeling high, so anxious, frantic, overwhelmed, racing, angry, what reliably helps you?
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: What helps you come down?
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_00: Which you can even ask ChatGBT for 10 minute options.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: He's gonna give you a lot of the ones that I said as well.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: Calling a friend can help, but not here's the caveat: you can if you're triggered and you call a friend, you can't process, or that's not helpful.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: I think of it as a serotonin dump.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I ask them, like, if I'm needing just a happy input after something that was super heavy, and I am in the car and all I could do would be call a friend, maybe I would say, like, hey, tell me about the best thing about your day.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: So what I'm not doing is processing, but I am finding some offensively small connection that could help my low, if that makes sense.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: So when you're low, what you need to go on a journey of figuring out what nervous system regulation habit makes you come up?
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: When you're withdrawn, sluggish, disconnected, what gives you a healthy little activation?
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when you're charged, so when you're angry and irritated, restless, what helps like does movement help?
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_00: What helps you move out of that state?
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: When you're disconnected, what helps you connect?
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_00: When you're feeling isolated or stuck in your head, what place, activity, music, sensory experiment or experience brings you back?
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you don't need 20 things, honestly, three things that work for you.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: And mine probably would be uh running, sweating, a nap outside, and then a walk or a cold.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: I guess that's four, but those are my four that I go to on repeat often.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: And frankly, y'all, there's no shame that you need them because I'm like, this is a body experience.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is not a failed character when you get your nervous system gets lit up.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: I often do, I would say I do two or three a day, and then sometimes a few a day.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like maybe I take multiple walks because in the morning I felt overwhelmed and not clear-headed with what I needed to do for my day.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I took a walk to do that.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then maybe in the afternoon, after a really tumultuous ride home from school, the kids are a lot, and I'm gonna go take a 10-minute walk so that I can get back in my body before I have to go parent.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: So that it is not like, man, I have to do this so much.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, I actually want to get so good at giving like addressing body need first that I can then access self-control to manage my mouth and my thoughts.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_00: So body first, process second, or nervous system regulation regulation equals then you actually have a fighting chance to use self-control.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and regulation is not avoidance.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_00: Gosh, some people think maybe you could listen to this and think regulate first, you know, genitals regulate first.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean regulate instead of talking about things or processing or having hard conversations.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's just don't have the conversations before you regulate.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: Do it'll make a mess.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm just like, whoo.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying every time that you're angry, go for a run and never do deal with why you're angry.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost like run first, ask second.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: The ask, the process, the think, the question is so helpful, absolutely essential to finding roots, to breaking patterns.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_00: But when we try to go there first before we get back in our bodies, that's when it's like doesn't work.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: So get regulated, come back towards your workable mind in the middle, the middle of your timeline where you're not hyper or hypo aroused with your nervous system, then process.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: Then you ask the deeper questions, then you pray about it, then you have a conversation, then you challenge the thought, then you figure out what edits need to be made.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes the most mature thing isn't trying to force yourself self to think your way through an emotion.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually recognizing my body needs a little help right now.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna learn how to give my try a few habits to help my nervous system regulate so then I can go think, manage my mindset, use self-control to go solve this further.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: Regulate does not mean avoid.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm those of you who are like anxious, maybe maybe more nervous about that.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, nope, it's just regulate first, process second.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'd love to have you join my wives' course.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: Registration is going to be open now.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: Join me if this felt helpful.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna have some practice one week.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna actually practice habits, talk about how it went, how it felt, etc.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_00: This is just a little teaser of the bigger course.