Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / What's in Your Secret Sauce? 3/7: What Tried to Burn You Now Fuels You: #WINITALLWEDNESDAY

Transcript

What's in Your Secret Sauce? 3/7: What Tried to Burn You Now Fuels You: #WINITALLWEDNESDAY · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Well, I don't know about you, but I'm sure glad it's Wednesday and not just any Wednesday, beautiful soul, it's Win it All Wednesday and that's powerful.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: You're in it, you are in it.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the sweet spot.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Win it All Wednesday.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: I'm Dr Sweet, a board-certified psychiatrist, high-performance coach and part-time resilience mix artist.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: We're in the thick of the secret sauce series, my friend, where we're slow-cooking greatness one ingredient at a time.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Let's recap the recipe so far.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: We started off by saying that lots of people have the juice, we all have the juice, but what we are saying is that juice is temporary.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: It's the sauce that's forever.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: The juice is popularity, but the sauce, it's personality and pressure and purpose, all stirring together in a slow cook over time.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: That's making us who we are Ultimately.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: The sauce is not flashy, its consistency, its habits, its habits.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: The sauce is locked in our focus and our behaviors.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: When nobody's watching, you see, anybody can get hot for a minute.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: The ones with the sauce, they stay hot forever.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: And the sauce breaks down like this S self-awareness A alignment, u unapologetic expression, c consistency and E energy.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: Apologetic expression c consistency and e energy.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Remember on monday, making moves.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Monday, we started with this whole idea of courage, that that was going to be.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: That was our spark as we made any move.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Then on tuesday, we said alignment was going to be our direction.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: It's going to be what aligns ourselves with our actions.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Today we're going to add some kick to the sauce.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: We're going to add some kick to that courage and alignment, and you know what that kick is.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: You know what that ingredient is.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Resilience, yeah.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Is you know what that ingredient is?
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Resilience?
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because every sauce that's got that flavor or that hits hard needs a little heat, and this is when it all Wednesday.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Resilience is what gives your sauce its depth and it's the flavor that we have when we are bouncing back.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: That's your flavor when you come back from something.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: It's the flavor born from failure.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: You've faced some things in the past.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: You've handled some issues.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Fact that you have that boldness that you showed when you overcame, managed and handled that challenge of that obstacle.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Oh, my goodness, that was all about your resilience.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: That was your secret ingredient.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: That's your sauce.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Right there, it's the difference between quitting and cooking until it's ready, staying in the kitchen with that dish until it's finally done.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: You know, my father was an amazing chef when he was alive and with us and one of the things I never realized was that you have to finish what you start in that kitchen.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: And he made some tremendous meals.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: I never understood what it took to finish, the resilience it takes to start something and finish it, and sometimes he was cooking for 15, 20 people.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: That's a lot of stamina and resilience is the kick.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: It's the secret ingredient, it's what gives your sauce its depth.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: You can't have a secret sauce and not have some resilience, because life will throw everything but the kitchen sink.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: No, life will throw everything and the kitchen sink at you.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: And you don't build power by avoiding pain.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: Another insight I'm learning as I get older you just don't build power by avoiding pain.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: You build it by not letting pain define you.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: And resilience isn't just a mindset, my friends, it's neurobiology.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: You know we always dabble in a little neurobio.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: When you face adversity and you recover, your brain activates something we talked about a couple of days ago the anterior cingulate cortex, the ACC, and the brain's CEO, the PFC, the prefrontal cortex these two brain regions.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: When you face adversity and you recover, they work together to help you regulate your emotions, to assess threats that are happening and challenges that you're facing and to help you choose a constructive action.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: And when you have a lot of experiences where you've bounced back, even in small things, where you've conquered something, or you've come back and come out of something, it could be a loss, it could be a failure, it could be a setback, something that didn't work.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: But every time you repeat the experience of coming back, of not giving up, you strengthen your neural circuitry for flexibility, for grit and for optimism, and all that gets added to your sauce just because you're resilient.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: And at the same time, the brain's threat detector, the security guard in the brain, the amygdala we've talked about it here before in the sweet spot, the amygdala learns that failure is not fatal, and that's an important lesson to learn.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: You stop panicking when your amygdala starts understanding that all right, this didn't work out, but I'm going to make it, and it starts adapting.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: So, in plain English, your brain gets braver every time you rise.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Instead of retreat, don't retreat, rise up, stand your ground.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: Embr, embrace the threat, face your giant.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: I'm just quoting various sweet spots that we've done.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: We've done embrace the threat.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: A couple of weeks ago we talked about facing your giants right A week or two ago.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: So yeah, the idea is that your brain a week or two ago.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: So yeah, the idea is that your brain, the neuroplasticity in your brain, your neural networks, love when you bounce back and it keeps a record of your bouncing back.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: And it's important that you keep this record of bouncing back because your resilience matters in your sauce, because life will knock you down, because the recipe will change in midstream, in your mid-cook.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: The recipe might have to change, because your critics are going to be loud and your doubt can be even louder, because you need to know how to pivot without losing your flavor.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: That's why we're spending this window on Wednesday talking about your resilience, your bounce back, and I want you to spend a minute just recognizing that you have bounced back from things and it matters, and you've got to consciously remember it because that's how you're going to be strong, moving forward.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: Now look, nipsey Hussle, hip-hop artist, love him.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: He said I took all my losses and turned them into lessons.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: That idea of taking losses and turning them into lessons, that's not just bars for some hip-hop line, that's neural rewiring in real time, that's neuroplasticity in real time, that's cognitive reframing in real time.
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: And you know what?
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: That's resilience, when you can take your loss and you can turn them into a lesson.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: You are resilient, and when you are resilient, you are working with your source.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Chaka Khan, one of my favorite artists, said I'm every woman, it's all in you.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Everything you need is already there and the ancient wisdom backs us up in 2 Corinthians we are hard pressed on every side, it said, but we're not crushed.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: We're struck down, but we're not destroyed.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow, that's resilience in holy form.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: That's divine resilience.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: Right, you're hard pressed on every side.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: You ever been in that situation where, everywhere you turn, the pressure was coming, but you weren't crushed?
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: That's the key, and you know that.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: Have you ever been struck down or set back?
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: But then you get through it and you realize you were not destroyed.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: That's resilience.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: You might bend, my friend, but you don't break.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: So resilience, it's an important ingredient.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: It's the kick that makes the flavor in your sauce unforgettable.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: It's how you bounce back.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: It's your comeback story.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: It's how you overcome and outpace the devil Okay, for lack of a better term Without pain, your story might be smooth, but it won't have soul.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: Bouncing back isn't just recovery, it's reinvention.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: Every comeback, every time you've come back, you have sharpened your identity, whether you were aware of it or not.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: That's what you did.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: What tried to burn you is now what fuels you.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: Let your scars season your strength.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: Be proud of them because you can show them as a testimony of your power and your strength and the strength of the power of the God that got you through right.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: You don't win because it's easy.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: You win because you didn't stop Sauce.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: You had the sauce.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Are you getting me?
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: You had the sauce, and the sauce gets better the longer it simmers, and you've been simmering with some stuff for a while and your sauce is getting stronger.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: So what's today's challenge?
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: My friend, beautiful soul?
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Think of a setback.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: You're still carrying a challenge disappointment, a detour, a failure, something and ask yourself what am I learning from this?
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: Or what did I learn from that moment?
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: How did it shape my strength and make me who I am today?
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Then I want you to recommit to something you almost gave up on.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Is there something that you almost gave up on or are you thinking about giving up on?
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: Even one small action in the direction of bouncing back is a resilience rep.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Now let me say this Some things you do need to cut off and give up.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: Remember what we said about Nina Simone.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: She said if love isn't being served at the table, bounce.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: You got to get out of that, right.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: Don't be at that table.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: That's aligning your actions with your values.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: That was Tuesday, right, but today I want you to not give up on things that are important to you.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: Use your resilience and remember all the times you've bounced back.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: Resilience doesn't mean you didn't feel the pain or the pressure or the difficulty.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: It means that you just didn't let it stop you and that's the kick in your sauce.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: Okay now.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to me here.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: On Win it All Wednesday my friend tomorrow.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: On trust yourself, thursday, we're going to talk about intuition.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: You know that quiet voice that knows before the world can even agree with you your internal spidey senses.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: We'll explore how self-trust unlocks the unapologetic expression that's in the sauce.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: Remember the you in the source is unapologetic expression.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: That's in the sauce.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: Remember the you in the sauce is unapologetic expression.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: And we're going to see how.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: Listening to your gut is one of the most important neurologically advanced things you can do.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: Let's get into it.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: But you got to be there Thursday.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: I got to see you for Trust Yourself Thursday.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: I'm counting on you to be there.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Come see me Sweets out All right now.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: If you love this message, please subscribe, and if you know someone that needs to hear it, do not hesitate to share it with them.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: Take care.