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Emma Edwards on Saving Up or Spontaneity & More · She's On The Money

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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yor
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Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
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Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
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Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
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Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
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Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
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Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
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Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money podcast for
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Speaker 4: millennials who want financial freedom. My name is beck Side
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Speaker 4: and Jessica Ritchie joins me today because it is Friday,
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Speaker 4: and today we celebrate you the incredible Cheese on the
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Speaker 4: Money community. Today we'll be sharing our favorite money wins.
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Speaker 4: We'll be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma which
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Speaker 4: this week is all about getting back to your savings
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Speaker 4: goals after a breakup, and we unpack something you slim
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Speaker 4: to our dms about which this week is all about
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Speaker 4: the Guild for Spending when you set yourself the goal
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Speaker 4: of a no spend month. Jessica Ritchie, how are you?
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Speaker 5: I'm good? How are you? Very good?
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Speaker 2: Thank you?
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Speaker 5: But I feel like there's somebody else we should ask
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Speaker 5: how they're doing. Because of course, we have another wonderful
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Speaker 5: guest joining us this week. We've got the wonderful Emma Edwards,
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Speaker 5: who you might also know as the Broke Generation. We
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Speaker 5: are so excited to have you here. I feel like
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Speaker 5: I have followed you soever, so I'm very excited to
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Speaker 5: have a online friend here.
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Speaker 6: Irl likewise back at you.
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Speaker 7: Yeah, great to be here. I'm so excited.
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Speaker 6: Days been a while since I've been on the STM.
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Speaker 5: I was going to say, people who have listened for
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Speaker 5: a really like og listens will remember you were on
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Speaker 5: season was it?
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Speaker 2: Season one?
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Speaker 6: Must have been season one? Do you know people still
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Speaker 6: listen to that? People aren't missing shoes on the Money
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Speaker 6: and you're in it, And I'm like, you're in the
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Speaker 6: archives space.
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Speaker 7: A while ago.
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Speaker 5: It's really cool. People when they start will often go
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Speaker 5: back to out like our very first episode ever still
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Speaker 5: gets down there, which is crazy because that's over four
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Speaker 5: years ago now. So people are loving it, we thought
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Speaker 5: it only makes sense to bring you back. Thank you,
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Speaker 5: my love this, Thank you so much for being here,
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Speaker 5: keep having me.
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Speaker 4: So do you guys want to chat about how you
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Speaker 4: were explaining because that's usually how we start. Now I
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Speaker 4: just want to I do want to say I wanted
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Speaker 4: to know with you, Jess, because I don't know if
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Speaker 4: you have context with this. But Jess recently finished a
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Speaker 4: bad luck streak, which I think, hey on to me.
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Speaker 4: But we will get to that. But anyway, Jess, how's
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Speaker 4: your week been?
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Speaker 5: Bad luck Streak's not done? I feel like I do
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Speaker 5: feel terrible that I've passed on to you. But my
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Speaker 5: car had some issues this week, which two grands later, oh,
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Speaker 5: wildly painful.
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Speaker 2: What was it?
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Speaker 5: So the youre ask you the wrong girl? Something was
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Speaker 5: leaking for sure, and also something. So I was driving
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Speaker 5: and the it just stopped accelerating, like I was driving
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Speaker 5: on a road. My foot was on the floor and
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Speaker 5: she just wasn't going, and I was like, oh no, Luckily,
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Speaker 5: like I pulled over and thankfully I could get into
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Speaker 5: an emergency lane and I just sat there for a
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Speaker 5: bit and I turned back on and it was fine.
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Speaker 5: So I got home and just like booked it right in.
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Speaker 5: Clearly something was broken. They did tell me, I just
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Speaker 5: don't remember. I'm not a car girly, as I've said before.
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Speaker 5: But yeah, two graind later, and it was extra depressing
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Speaker 5: because I had I've just completed a partnership for like
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Speaker 5: a brand campaign, and I was so excited because I'd
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Speaker 5: allocated that money to something fun and now it's paying, which,
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Speaker 5: you know, very grateful that I have that money to
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Speaker 5: pay for the car. Super thankful for that, because two
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Speaker 5: thousand dollars is so much money. But like I was
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Speaker 5: gonna buy myself a sewing machine in a film camera.
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Speaker 5: I bought myself a defibrillated Well, no that's not a
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Speaker 5: car part. That's I bought myself something to go into
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Speaker 5: the car and my house.
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Speaker 6: Your weing feed, no touchwood, no car shoes for me currently.
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Speaker 6: We got in the currently end of last year. And
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Speaker 6: like me because me and my husband Jericha, and we've
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Speaker 6: like he regularly just like stops and he's like, my
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Speaker 6: mental health is.
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Speaker 7: So much better than that.
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Speaker 6: We've got this car up because we had such an
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Speaker 6: old cart that like the second it was above twenty degrees,
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Speaker 6: you'd be like, will it start Yeah, everywhere you went,
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Speaker 6: you had to be prepared to be stuck there. So
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Speaker 6: like we never went on day trips or anything because
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Speaker 6: we're like what cut of all together can bendy go?
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Speaker 7: Imagine?
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Speaker 6: So yeah, no cur isues for me in Touch. And
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Speaker 6: I'm actually scared to say that because I'm so superstitious.
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Speaker 6: I'm like, my car's not going to start after this
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Speaker 6: episode Karlie Studio, You're look here forever. But nothing like
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Speaker 6: major bad luckwise, but I had a bad luck streak
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Speaker 6: last year, so I am you know the feels, Yeah, I.
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Speaker 7: Really have the feels.
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Speaker 6: I've been like on the kind of tale of my
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Speaker 6: book launch stuff.
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Speaker 7: So it's kind of like everything getting back to normal now.
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Speaker 2: But that's very good.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, and just for I guess like both mine and
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Speaker 4: Jess's peace of mind.
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Speaker 2: How long did this streak? Class?
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Speaker 6: Okay, I cracked a mirror seven years ago and it's
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Speaker 6: just so fun. It's hard to say because I don't
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Speaker 6: know if you relate to this, but like there were
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Speaker 6: like it was a series of unfortune and events. There
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Speaker 6: was like a health thing that was like the health anxiety,
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Speaker 6: and then the money and then there'd be you know,
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Speaker 6: something else or I'd lose a client or like a
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Speaker 6: sponsored campaign would get canceled, and I'd just be like
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Speaker 6: it was just one thing after the other. But then
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Speaker 6: it sort of it got so like embodied in my
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Speaker 6: entire personality that I just got so sick of myself
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Speaker 6: because I, I guess, through self preservation, I just started
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Speaker 6: to expect the worst. I was whenever anyone would be
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Speaker 6: like Hawaii, I'd be like, wow, yeah, not great, and
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Speaker 6: I was like, oh my well, I'm so annoying, Like
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Speaker 6: I'm just a black cloud for myself and everyone. So
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Speaker 6: I flipped it like the last quarter of last year
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Speaker 6: and decided to embrace this mindset that I call the
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Speaker 6: Millhouse mindset. You know, a Millhouse from the It's all
5:49
Speaker 6: coming up Millhouse. I was like I went into every
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Speaker 6: week being like it is all coming up Millhouse is
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Speaker 6: all coming up my house, and anything that happened, I
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Speaker 6: just like tried to you know Bordline toxic positivity, but.
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Speaker 7: You know, we try. It was the depths of hell.
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Speaker 6: I just like tried to flip it somehow, Like I
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Speaker 6: had to get like a scan on my foot, which
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Speaker 6: was expensive because I had like previously broken it. But
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Speaker 6: then it ended up not being broken. So I was like,
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Speaker 6: it's not broken.
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Speaker 7: Rather than being like that was three hundred dollars and
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Speaker 7: it wasn't even broken. I was like, it's not broken. Yeamy,
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Speaker 7: everything's great. It kind of worked, honestly, so that, Yeah.
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Speaker 5: It's the psychology of at all. And I'm excited to
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Speaker 5: talk to you more about that because you touch on
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Speaker 5: that in your book a little bit. But it's the
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Speaker 5: It's totally and I think I've said as well on
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Speaker 5: the pod because I've been on that street. I've said, oh,
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Speaker 5: I'm being such a downer and I'm just not gonna
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Speaker 5: be that person anymore.
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Speaker 7: Especially with money.
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Speaker 6: You really feel like, oh, well is me everything sucks
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Speaker 6: every time anybody does on the thing, You're like, well,
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Speaker 6: it must be not.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, and everything seems so much bigger and more compounded.
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Speaker 5: So I totally get that. All that to be said
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Speaker 5: not to tend to track from your difficult week.
6:53
Speaker 6: I'm not going to toxic positivity.
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Speaker 4: I've toxic positivity myself. So I wasn't fortually made redundant
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Speaker 4: earlier in the month. And I think at first because
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Speaker 4: I obviously like love this company, and I loved my job,
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Speaker 4: and I love the people, but I definitely do not
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Speaker 4: love you guys.
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Speaker 5: I'm sure there are people listening who just met Oh
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Speaker 5: my god, when's she leaving?
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Speaker 4: True? No, we should say, oh, sorry, yes I do.
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Speaker 4: I have a video producer role. I had, sorry past tens,
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Speaker 4: a video producer role, and then also was on this podcast.
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Speaker 2: But I'm staying here. But I just was made, unfortunately
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Speaker 2: redundant from that role.
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Speaker 4: And I think that, you know, I had no intention
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Speaker 4: of ever, ever, ever leaving that role in this company,
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Speaker 4: and so I was kind of like, you know, very sad.
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Speaker 4: But speaking of like shifting your mindset, I have kind
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Speaker 4: of been like, well, I was never.
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Speaker 2: Going to leave this place.
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Speaker 4: Maybe, and I don't think that everything happens for a reason.
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Speaker 4: I feel like maybe that's a really privileged way to think.
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Speaker 4: It's more so I wasn't going.
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Speaker 2: To do it.
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Speaker 4: Maybe it was the world is telling me that I
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Speaker 4: needed trajectory somehow.
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Speaker 2: I don't know.
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Speaker 4: Anyway, for those listening, if you have a job going,
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Speaker 4: let me know, but that's on that. But otherwise, I
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Speaker 4: feel like the rest of the world, the rest of
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Speaker 4: life is going great.
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Speaker 2: It's gone great, and you're.
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Speaker 5: Doing very well. They've been made I've been made, have
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Speaker 5: done it before, and it just is an awful feeling.
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Speaker 5: Like as much as it is so not a you thing,
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Speaker 5: ninety percent of the time, like, it just is not
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Speaker 5: a nice feeling at all. So I'm really sorry that
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Speaker 5: that's happening. But I'm very impressed with how positive you are.
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Speaker 5: Thank you. That's so Nice's away? Oh my goodness.
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Speaker 4: But anyway, speaking of that money loss, Jess, do you
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Speaker 4: have any money wins to brighten up the mood?
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Speaker 5: Absolutely? I do. We've had some good ones this week. Firstly,
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Speaker 5: I've got one from Kaylor who said I did a
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Speaker 5: challenge to earn an extra two thousand dollars on top
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Speaker 5: of my pay in a week, and I achieved it.
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Speaker 5: I took into account a lot of tips that I've
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Speaker 5: seen through different pots in the group, and I'm really
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Speaker 5: proud that I made it happen. Amazing to rate in
8:54
Speaker 5: a week is wild, right now, give us a good point.
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Speaker 5: If I could do that twice, it would be fantastic.
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Speaker 5: Then I've got a win from Katie who said Cadbury
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Speaker 5: cream eggs were on special thirty three percent off stockpiled appropriately.
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Speaker 5: I'm heading into the late stages of finishing off my
9:11
Speaker 5: PhD and they are an essential And I just want
9:14
Speaker 5: to say that there's a lot of support under her
9:16
Speaker 5: post for how essential those Cadbury cream eggs are. We
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Speaker 5: love that. Yeah, PhD, good on you, I know, very impressive.
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Speaker 5: Whatever gets you through, I think is just you do
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Speaker 5: what you got to do, my queen. Next, I've got
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Speaker 5: a money win from Jessica, who said great name. I
9:30
Speaker 5: realized on Friday that passed me had added money to
9:32
Speaker 5: my daughter's school payment app, so I didn't need to
9:35
Speaker 5: find money for a lunch order this week. Oh I
9:38
Speaker 5: didn't even know that. Like that seems very high tech
9:40
Speaker 5: to me.
9:41
Speaker 6: I all the like my mother enormoss re nor teachers
9:43
Speaker 6: and like the tech. Now I'm like, my kids get
9:47
Speaker 6: uber EA's to school, do they?
9:49
Speaker 5: Wow?
9:49
Speaker 3: Wow?
9:50
Speaker 2: Wow?
9:52
Speaker 5: I remember our lunch order was literally a brown paper
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Speaker 5: back wrote and you chucked the coin there and you
9:58
Speaker 5: hoped that none spilled and got lost, or you've been
10:01
Speaker 5: debt to the canteen.
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Speaker 2: They bring out the milk crate.
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Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, very cool. Well done past you for
10:09
Speaker 5: looking out for future you. Next, I've got money win
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Speaker 5: from Lucy who said money win and delayed gratification. I've
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Speaker 5: been running a particular French linen top from Witchery for
10:17
Speaker 5: a while now. It normally retails for one hundred and
10:20
Speaker 5: eighty dollars, but I just bought it on sale for
10:23
Speaker 5: fifty bucks. Purchased it through Quantus Shopping, so I got
10:27
Speaker 5: four points per dollar spend. So she also got four
10:30
Speaker 5: times points on that. That's like two hundred points huge.
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Speaker 5: Just goes to show Victoria's favorite thing. Put what is it?
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Speaker 5: Twenty four hours between you and your spending and you
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Speaker 5: never know. And then next I've got a win from Cat,
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Speaker 5: who said yesterday was the last day of summer season
10:44
Speaker 5: at our local swimming pool rip summer. I'm so sorry.
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Speaker 5: I don't know about anybody else mourning the loss of
10:48
Speaker 5: the sun.
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Speaker 2: I am very happy vascially, but I'm sorry for your.
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Speaker 5: Lost Thanks so much, she said. They bought a season
10:56
Speaker 5: pass for one hundred and twenty five dollars for the
10:57
Speaker 5: family in December. They used the pas a total of
11:00
Speaker 5: twenty times, which would have cost them three hundred and
11:03
Speaker 5: eighty dollars if they had paid each time that they
11:05
Speaker 5: went in for an individual visit. So they save two
11:08
Speaker 5: twenty five by having a pass to the pool, which
11:09
Speaker 5: is about six bucks per session instead of nineteen. Great.
11:13
Speaker 5: I just wanted to say I really like the idea
11:15
Speaker 5: of looking back at how many you use, because I
11:18
Speaker 5: think a lot of the time we all get sucked
11:20
Speaker 5: into like those passes that make things cheaper, or the
11:23
Speaker 5: bulk discount on the polarate sessions, or you know, whatever
11:26
Speaker 5: it might be, and you go, oh, that's a deal,
11:28
Speaker 5: like I'm going to get the deal. Then you don't
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Speaker 5: use it and you're actually paying three times the price.
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Speaker 6: Yes, because that's something to be said when you do
11:34
Speaker 6: the parting with the money up front. Yeah, you don't
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Speaker 6: have the like accountability like for some I think it
11:38
Speaker 6: depends on your brain works. Some people are like I
11:40
Speaker 6: want to get my money's worse, yes, whereas I'm a
11:42
Speaker 6: bit like, oh my commitment's kind of run out.
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Speaker 5: Now, yeah, like the money's gone.
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Speaker 6: Yeah, so it's like, oh, well it doesn't really matter
11:48
Speaker 6: if I go or not, which is.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know you mean.
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Speaker 5: Yeah, so really good good one from Cat. They reflect
11:54
Speaker 5: on those little bolt purchases if you do them, to
11:56
Speaker 5: see if you are in fact getting your money's worth.
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Speaker 5: And then lastly, I've got a money win from Shani
12:02
Speaker 5: who said I did a live chat with Optus asking
12:04
Speaker 5: for a discount on my plan. The first person said
12:06
Speaker 5: that they couldn't help. But I just gave it another
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Speaker 5: crack and I got somebody else who gave me ten
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Speaker 5: bucks off a month for twelve months, one hundred and
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Speaker 5: twenty dollars win.
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Speaker 2: This is my way.
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Speaker 7: I do this all the time.
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Speaker 6: They must have like a like dartboard with my face
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Speaker 6: on it. I'm in the live chat regularly.
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Speaker 5: They never told me no, though I tell me no.
12:23
Speaker 5: If they say no, just give it another cry. Someone
12:26
Speaker 5: asked you, what's the harm? They're there to help rat?
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Speaker 5: Now now we have been asking our guests when they
12:30
Speaker 5: come on to share a little money when not a
12:32
Speaker 5: confession of their own. If you happen to have one.
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Speaker 6: I do excellent. It's kind of a money loss, but
12:38
Speaker 6: then it turns into a money win.
12:39
Speaker 7: It's okay, quite.
12:41
Speaker 5: A journey, the journey. Love it.
12:42
Speaker 6: So a couple of weeks ago I went up to
12:44
Speaker 6: Sydney to do like a speaking thing, which was obviously
12:46
Speaker 6: like heavy on the anxiety for me because I do
12:49
Speaker 6: a lot of panels, but like I don't do a
12:50
Speaker 6: whole lot of like keynote speaking, So I was super
12:53
Speaker 6: excited to do it. I was prepared, but I was
12:55
Speaker 6: like practicing a lot. I practiced and got so anxious
12:59
Speaker 6: about practicing so much that I did not think about
13:02
Speaker 6: an outfit. And I'd been so busy doing other stuff
13:05
Speaker 6: with my book. I was just like on the morning of,
13:07
Speaker 6: like I was flying up the date before. So the
13:08
Speaker 6: morning I was flying, I was packing my suitcase and
13:10
Speaker 6: I was like, oh my god, I haven't though about
13:11
Speaker 6: what I'm gonna wear. Like this has to be it
13:13
Speaker 6: was like in a corporate setting. So I was like,
13:14
Speaker 6: this has to be a sleigh. And then I was like, okay,
13:17
Speaker 6: I'll wear this and there was just cat hair all
13:18
Speaker 6: over it. I couldn't find my roller.
13:20
Speaker 7: I tried. I put it in the wash, it came out.
13:22
Speaker 7: I was still there. Okay.
13:26
Speaker 6: So time was a ticking and I was like, I
13:29
Speaker 6: need to do another go over of my presentation. I
13:31
Speaker 6: was going to record it on my voice memo so
13:33
Speaker 6: I could listen to it on the plane. I had
13:34
Speaker 6: it all planned out, and I was like, right, I'm
13:36
Speaker 6: going to make the executive decision that I'm going to
13:39
Speaker 6: have this hour to practice my speech and I will
13:42
Speaker 6: find something to wear when I get to Sydney, I
13:46
Speaker 6: took something obviously, I didn't go with absolutely nothing. I
13:48
Speaker 6: took something I could wear, but it wasn't ideal. So
13:51
Speaker 6: then I get to Sydney and I scramble over to
13:53
Speaker 6: like Anhelam country road all that stuff's trying to plan something.
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Speaker 6: The loss is that what I ended up finding. Like,
13:59
Speaker 6: there was lots of things I could have worn, and
14:00
Speaker 6: there were sales on at that point, so it was great,
14:02
Speaker 6: but lots of stuff not in my size excel girly
14:06
Speaker 6: not a lot left. Usually a sleigh because most people
14:08
Speaker 6: aren't buying size, but not this time. So I ended
14:13
Speaker 6: up getting a dress and like a little sleeveless jacket
14:15
Speaker 6: that all up was three hundred dollars. I know, money loss,
14:20
Speaker 6: but I was like, whatever, you know, it works out
14:21
Speaker 6: for what of being paid for the thing anyway. So
14:23
Speaker 6: then I'm getting ready the next morning and I'm like,
14:25
Speaker 6: this is a sleigh. It was kind of worth the money.
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Speaker 6: I'm actually really vibing this jacket. I'm gonna wear it again.
14:30
Speaker 6: I realized that the dress is like malfunctioning, like it's
14:34
Speaker 6: it's faulty somehow, but it doesn't matter because I'm wearing
14:36
Speaker 6: the jacket, so I'm like sick.
14:39
Speaker 5: So I go back in after I've already worn.
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Speaker 6: It to the event because I had to because I
14:43
Speaker 6: had to run off and go to the event. And
14:44
Speaker 6: I was like, this, I think is faulty. I don't
14:46
Speaker 6: think it's meant to be like this, and she was like,
14:47
Speaker 6: oh no, it's not. Let me give you your money back.
14:50
Speaker 6: So I got to wear perfect and then I got
14:53
Speaker 6: my money back.
14:54
Speaker 5: Yes, so good, really said I had your back on
14:57
Speaker 5: that one.
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Speaker 6: Yeah, it was really coming up millhe for me, because yeah,
15:01
Speaker 6: it was really I didn't want to. I was thinking,
15:02
Speaker 6: I first about one hundred and fifty, this is fine,
15:04
Speaker 6: it's something I can wear again. But like three hundred,
15:06
Speaker 6: I was like, whereas now, like the jacket was fine,
15:09
Speaker 6: it was half priced, it was pretty good film, but
15:11
Speaker 6: I didn't have to pay.
15:11
Speaker 5: For the dress.
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Speaker 2: That's so good.
15:12
Speaker 4: And do you feel like you would have not worn
15:14
Speaker 4: it again? It was like one of those things that
15:15
Speaker 4: you I mean.
15:16
Speaker 6: I would have, but it was faulty, so I couldn't have. Really,
15:19
Speaker 6: it was like a weird, rushing thing that wasn't going
15:21
Speaker 6: to be doing. But you know, I was a bit
15:22
Speaker 6: kind of like this must be faulty. It wasn't like
15:24
Speaker 6: abundantly obvious that it was faulty, so it was a
15:26
Speaker 6: bit of a shame.
15:27
Speaker 7: But like I didn't, I didn't need it needed it
15:30
Speaker 7: worked out.
15:31
Speaker 2: That is so good. It was a journey pray for
15:34
Speaker 2: a faulty dress, I think.
15:36
Speaker 4: And if you're calling out in your kind of stress
15:38
Speaker 4: and you go to like some sort of event, I'm
15:40
Speaker 4: going to a wedding suit and I'm going to pray
15:42
Speaker 4: for fault held everything, just like a tiny fault that
15:45
Speaker 4: you can't really see with the untrained eye.
15:48
Speaker 5: Yeah, but enough to I broke for thenk that.
15:55
Speaker 4: We always I love how we always find a unique
15:58
Speaker 4: way to segue into my brogue tips and that that
16:00
Speaker 4: was actually perfect. Okay, so broke tips for this week.
16:04
Speaker 4: As always, I do have one from the community, one
16:06
Speaker 4: for myself and am I. If you're comfortable, we'll get
16:08
Speaker 4: you to share one last you if you have one ready, Yeah, amazing, amazing, Okay,
16:12
Speaker 4: here we go. Okay, So the first one from the
16:14
Speaker 4: community comes from Bridget who says that Continental Mushroom cup
16:18
Speaker 4: of soup makes a good cheap pasta sauce. Just put
16:21
Speaker 4: some olive oil in a pan add one or two
16:22
Speaker 4: sachets of soup, then stir in milk with a fork
16:25
Speaker 4: until the sauce is as sick as you want. You
16:28
Speaker 4: can also add cooked mushroom or chicken, but it's good
16:31
Speaker 4: by itself.
16:31
Speaker 2: With pasta, that's great. That's probably like a.
16:34
Speaker 4: I don't know, I'm doing quick math here, but maybe
16:36
Speaker 4: two dollars fifty meal, you know what I mean?
16:39
Speaker 5: Yeah? Good.
16:39
Speaker 6: This is like a subreddit of this is you use
16:42
Speaker 6: it with rice and it's a risotto.
16:44
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, someone did mention, did you we've had that
16:47
Speaker 4: before one?
16:49
Speaker 8: I think.
16:49
Speaker 4: She also recommended the cup of soup, which is a
16:52
Speaker 4: great idea because.
16:53
Speaker 6: They're really good for like office lunches. But like if
16:57
Speaker 6: you ever look at like the nutritional info of soup,
16:59
Speaker 6: like it's giving keytost tart a pack, like there's no calories,
17:04
Speaker 6: which for me, you know, I need like a decent meal.
17:06
Speaker 7: I'm hungry me. So it's like I love, especially in winter,
17:09
Speaker 7: soup is so good, but.
17:10
Speaker 6: There's not really it's not really enough, whereas bung in
17:12
Speaker 6: some microwave rice perfect, you pay your.
17:16
Speaker 7: Desk, it's non perishable.
17:18
Speaker 5: I was gonna say that's a good one to have
17:19
Speaker 5: like in your pantry. It's just like the weeks that
17:21
Speaker 5: you're really skinned all the weeks, all the nights. So
17:24
Speaker 5: you just go, I can't be bothered. Chuck a cup
17:26
Speaker 5: of suit, chuck of rice.
17:27
Speaker 7: Yeah done, dangerously close to ordering a bery.
17:30
Speaker 5: Yeah. Perfect, that's a good one.
17:34
Speaker 4: The shift though, from like scrolling on uber ey, it's
17:37
Speaker 4: to me like I'm just going to coming home. The
17:39
Speaker 4: mental shift is really a struggle. So congratulations to anyone
17:42
Speaker 4: that has successfully done that. Okay, so my personal broke tip.
17:47
Speaker 2: I don't know if you guys, this is probably more of.
17:49
Speaker 4: A Melbourne based thing. I do apologize for anyone listening
17:51
Speaker 4: outside of Melbourne. Hawthorne have a cinema called Lido Cinema.
17:54
Speaker 2: Have you guys heard of this one?
17:56
Speaker 4: Well, if you sign up, if you become a member
17:58
Speaker 4: basically and to my knowledge, it's free. You often receive
18:02
Speaker 4: either in your inbox or you can just like jump
18:04
Speaker 4: on their website.
18:05
Speaker 2: There's usually like.
18:05
Speaker 4: One dollar tickets or really just really really cheap things
18:09
Speaker 4: that they're giving away.
18:10
Speaker 2: Every couple of weeks or so.
18:12
Speaker 4: You might find that you have like a one dollar
18:14
Speaker 4: ticket in your inbox, and I just I think that's
18:16
Speaker 4: a great idea, especially if you still want to, like
18:18
Speaker 4: if you are broke, but you still want to kind
18:20
Speaker 4: of like go out and do things and you know,
18:22
Speaker 4: have fun like the rest of the world, Like you
18:25
Speaker 4: can do that with leader and I'm sure there's an
18:28
Speaker 4: equivalent in other states and territories, but just have a
18:32
Speaker 4: little pruse.
18:34
Speaker 2: But anyway, that's me em.
18:35
Speaker 4: I would love to hear your broke teap if you're awesome,
18:38
Speaker 4: Thank you so much.
18:39
Speaker 6: Well, so I had one that's like a saving step
18:41
Speaker 6: just that I've been using recently. Yes, that has just
18:43
Speaker 6: been very helpful for me. So last year I bought
18:48
Speaker 6: tickets to Teleswift Ears tour obviously, of course, and I
18:52
Speaker 6: also bought tickets to see Simple Plan because besides my
18:55
Speaker 6: personality just one day because so I got a Simple Plan.
19:00
Speaker 6: Yeah cool, I'm into it. But the Boys Like Girls
19:02
Speaker 6: is supporting.
19:03
Speaker 5: Oh my god. I loved Boys Like Girls when I
19:06
Speaker 5: was a teenager, so good.
19:07
Speaker 6: And I saw them last year in a show that
19:09
Speaker 6: had been delayed from like twenty twenty I think, and
19:13
Speaker 6: the friend I was supposed to go to she couldn't
19:15
Speaker 6: come anyway. She was like, they're supporting some more plant
19:16
Speaker 6: let's go. So also did that and also in the
19:19
Speaker 6: third dimension of my personality where I'm like the most
19:21
Speaker 6: basic bitch of all time. I also bought Coldplay tickets.
19:24
Speaker 5: Yeah, I love it.
19:25
Speaker 1: I just can't.
19:26
Speaker 7: I just can't explain it.
19:27
Speaker 6: It's good, but I was like, ooh, okay, not loving these,
19:31
Speaker 6: Like you know, with tickets, you've got to be so immediate,
19:33
Speaker 6: like you've got to be on it because you can't
19:34
Speaker 6: be like I'm going to think about.
19:35
Speaker 5: It like a six minute timeatting down on the.
19:37
Speaker 6: Screen, stressing and like that makes you want it more
19:40
Speaker 6: as well. Right, So what I did at the start
19:43
Speaker 6: of this year is every week I'm just kicking fifteen
19:45
Speaker 6: dollars into which you know, maybe I should be doing more.
19:48
Speaker 6: But that's kind of where I'm at in terms of
19:50
Speaker 6: the people I think I might want to go and see.
19:51
Speaker 6: I'm not like crazy into artists, into a separate saver
19:55
Speaker 6: called I will not be bankrupted by concert tickets so
19:58
Speaker 6: that when tickets drop, either got all of the money
20:01
Speaker 6: or I've got some of the money and it already worked.
20:03
Speaker 6: Because I don't know if anyone follows Christopher Hall on
20:05
Speaker 6: TikTok or Instagram's a comedian out, Okay, he's coming to Australia,
20:09
Speaker 6: and I was like, oh my god, I really want
20:10
Speaker 6: to go, but like they're the ones that will get you.
20:12
Speaker 7: Yeah.
20:12
Speaker 6: So they're like fifty sixty seventy dollars. They're not that
20:14
Speaker 6: expensive compared to eras for example, but like it adds up.
20:21
Speaker 6: And I had the money there and I was like
20:22
Speaker 6: this is so good because I'm not like, oh I
20:24
Speaker 6: want to go but I can't afford it. Oh I
20:26
Speaker 6: bought them, but I feel really guilty. Like I was like,
20:28
Speaker 6: got the money, let's go, so excited. My friend's got
20:31
Speaker 6: her ticket to So saving up for stuff before you
20:34
Speaker 6: need it is that, I guess the umbrella tip.
20:36
Speaker 5: I love it.
20:38
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's such a great idea, and like things like
20:40
Speaker 4: that where it's like either maybe say you want to
20:43
Speaker 4: go to the movies once a month or something like that,
20:44
Speaker 4: just like putting that away so you don't feel so.
20:46
Speaker 7: Guilty for spontaneity, mission to be spontaneous.
20:50
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh I like that a lot. Saving up for spontaneous.
20:52
Speaker 2: I love that.
20:53
Speaker 6: Also another saver called Captain Spontaneous, which is saving up
20:56
Speaker 6: for a spontaneous trip because I really.
20:58
Speaker 7: Want to do that.
20:59
Speaker 5: Thing where you get let's just should we go now?
21:00
Speaker 5: Let's go now?
21:02
Speaker 6: But then I always I'm like, because obviously I'm a
21:04
Speaker 6: finance caning, I'm obviously like a a better not or
21:07
Speaker 6: it's a bit expensive, or it'd be cheaper if we
21:09
Speaker 6: book it in advance, But then you miss out on
21:11
Speaker 6: the opportunity to do so. It's like preparing for spontaneity,
21:14
Speaker 6: which I guess is not really the same thing, but
21:16
Speaker 6: we like financially safe spontaneity.
21:18
Speaker 5: My god, I need you to go through my bank
21:20
Speaker 5: act and just name my different savers.
21:22
Speaker 7: Is so fun.
21:24
Speaker 2: I'm going to start.
21:25
Speaker 4: Those are the exact two things that I want to
21:27
Speaker 4: be saving. I just wanna be like sat on my
21:29
Speaker 4: couch one day and be like talking to my girlfriend
21:31
Speaker 4: and be like, hey, should we like literally right now
21:33
Speaker 4: go to la Yeah, you know what I mean. That'd
21:36
Speaker 4: be so fun. Anyway, let's go for a quick break.
21:38
Speaker 4: And on the flip side, we're going to be discussing
21:40
Speaker 4: getting back to your savings goals after a breakup.
21:46
Speaker 2: Welcome back everyone, here's our money dilemma.
21:51
Speaker 8: Hi, there have you got a money dilemma you just
21:53
Speaker 8: can't solve the She's on the Money Team is here
21:56
Speaker 8: to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big
21:59
Speaker 8: and small, to answer your most burning money, career and
22:02
Speaker 8: life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website
22:05
Speaker 8: and leave us a short voice recording and you might
22:07
Speaker 8: just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a
22:10
Speaker 8: listen to this week's money dilemma.
22:13
Speaker 3: Hi guys, I have a bit of a money situation.
22:16
Speaker 3: I'm really hoping that I can get some advice on
22:18
Speaker 3: this situation. I have recently ended an engagement with my
22:21
Speaker 3: fiance as I found out there was a bit of
22:24
Speaker 3: an infidelity and together we had some really good earned savings.
22:29
Speaker 5: And we had quite a lot of goals for our future.
22:32
Speaker 3: However, I've been single for now, just going on six months,
22:35
Speaker 3: and I have burned a lot of cash to be honest,
22:39
Speaker 3: with buying things and just doing things that have brought
22:43
Speaker 3: me joy in this really, really tough time that I
22:45
Speaker 3: never thought i'd have to go through. And obviously I've
22:48
Speaker 3: been incredibly low and that's obviously spurred on me buying
22:51
Speaker 3: just things that I don't necessarily need. So I would
22:56
Speaker 3: really appreciate some advice to get back onto the savings bandwagon.
23:00
Speaker 5: Any advice would be very very helpful. Thanks.
23:04
Speaker 2: Ah, this is such a tough one.
23:06
Speaker 4: I mean, obviously when it comes to like money, I'm
23:08
Speaker 4: not the expert just by being on a finance podcast,
23:12
Speaker 4: but I would say to our listener firstly, obviously, and
23:16
Speaker 4: I'm sure you're doing this hopefully to some extent, but
23:19
Speaker 4: just you know, making sure that you're healing your heart
23:22
Speaker 4: and soul because a breakup is really really tough and
23:24
Speaker 4: it's not the time to be I don't know about everyone,
23:29
Speaker 4: but for myself personally, when I'm like in a situation
23:31
Speaker 4: where I'm like going through a breakup.
23:33
Speaker 2: And my heart and my head and my.
23:35
Speaker 4: Body is just so sore and sad and empty and grieving,
23:40
Speaker 4: I'm not like, how can I make myself better today?
23:43
Speaker 4: I'm more just like I'm gonna set some time to
23:47
Speaker 4: be a little bit self destructive.
23:49
Speaker 2: Not so much that I'll you know, come out of
23:51
Speaker 2: the other end and be.
23:52
Speaker 4: Like, wow, my life is really messed up, but just
23:55
Speaker 4: more so like I'm going to do everything that makes
23:57
Speaker 4: me feel good right now, and I'll set a little
23:59
Speaker 4: timer for that, like this week self destruction week. Next
24:02
Speaker 4: week I'll kind of think about how I can you know,
24:07
Speaker 4: move forward, but I think just like really just taking
24:11
Speaker 4: care of yourself and making sure your heart and your
24:14
Speaker 4: mind and your body and your spirit is being taken
24:17
Speaker 4: care of before that. But you know, again I'm not
24:20
Speaker 4: the finance expert and what you came me for and
24:23
Speaker 4: I've not given you any advice, so that's me. But
24:26
Speaker 4: do you guys have any better financial tips or anything
24:29
Speaker 4: for out the stuff?
24:30
Speaker 7: Yes, I would say so.
24:32
Speaker 6: I mean, obviously every breakup situation is different, and I'm
24:35
Speaker 6: to the listener, I'm so sorry you're going through that.
24:37
Speaker 6: Well done for leaving that environment, especially when there was
24:40
Speaker 6: an engagement, because sometimes that can be like, oh, you know,
24:42
Speaker 6: I'll just keep pushing on because of the pressure of
24:44
Speaker 6: what's coming up. So yeah, you know, being really kind
24:47
Speaker 6: to yourself on that sense, I think here there needs
24:51
Speaker 6: to be a sense of trying to stop yourself from
24:56
Speaker 6: looking back. I feel like when you've had savings, not
25:00
Speaker 6: only you had savings and then started to spend them,
25:03
Speaker 6: but you've had savings in a completely different life experience
25:05
Speaker 6: to what you're now living. So I would imagine there's
25:08
Speaker 6: probably a sense of like spending can often be an
25:10
Speaker 6: attempt to regain control, which is probably what's happening, and
25:13
Speaker 6: that's okay, Like, that's a very legitimate way of doing that.
25:15
Speaker 6: You're doing it with savings. You're not getting into debt,
25:17
Speaker 6: you're not putting yourself into like immediate financial danger. So
25:21
Speaker 6: probably first step would be, I would say, neutralizing what's happened,
25:24
Speaker 6: because often when you've spent savings that in a way
25:26
Speaker 6: that you didn't intend to spend them, it's like, oh
25:28
Speaker 6: my god, I've got a scramble to get back to
25:30
Speaker 6: where I was. Whereas actually that sort of like comparing
25:33
Speaker 6: a previous optimum state when you had completely different resources
25:37
Speaker 6: and circumstances at that time to where you are now
25:39
Speaker 6: and trying to scramble back to that, it's probably just
25:42
Speaker 6: going to make you feel even more out of control
25:44
Speaker 6: than actually foster the spending behavior even more. I would
25:48
Speaker 6: be looking at if this was like a friend that
25:49
Speaker 6: had said this to me, I would be looking at
25:51
Speaker 6: working on a progressive shift in the behavior and in
25:54
Speaker 6: the mindset. So rather than being like, oh my god,
25:56
Speaker 6: I have to stop all of this right now, and
25:58
Speaker 6: I have to save hundred dollars a week or whatever
26:01
Speaker 6: you consider optimum in the old circumstances, I would be thinking, Okay,
26:06
Speaker 6: I want to work up to that, So start really small.
26:09
Speaker 6: All I've got to do this week is put fifty
26:12
Speaker 6: dollars there and then whatever else happens, that's okay because
26:15
Speaker 6: I've started, and then the next week build up, build up,
26:18
Speaker 6: And what that kind of allows you to do is
26:21
Speaker 6: gradually rehearse the behaviors that you want to practice over
26:25
Speaker 6: and over again. Currently, it's obviously been spending living your life,
26:28
Speaker 6: regaining that control, probably flexing that independence, I guess, finding
26:31
Speaker 6: like the positive side of that awful experience that you've
26:34
Speaker 6: had so kind of Rather than cutting that off completely
26:37
Speaker 6: because it is serving an emotional purpose for you, I
26:39
Speaker 6: would imagine shrinking it down and repeating that behavior of
26:44
Speaker 6: building your savings up again gradually, because the impulse is
26:49
Speaker 6: to want to like with everything, like I'm suddenly going
26:51
Speaker 6: to the gym five days a week. I'm now not
26:53
Speaker 6: doing that spending anymore. I'm saving all of it, Like
26:54
Speaker 6: we want to course correct so quickly, but it just
26:57
Speaker 6: puts extra pressure on, especially when there's other emotional factors
27:00
Speaker 6: that are already making us feel more out of control.
27:02
Speaker 6: So I would set like I'm a big fan of
27:04
Speaker 6: a six week sprint, but maybe not sprint in this environment,
27:07
Speaker 6: but like a six week build up where each week
27:09
Speaker 6: you focus on one different thing. You just got one
27:11
Speaker 6: small action, and then that is your new one hundred percent.
27:14
Speaker 6: I do this with work a lot, but it applies
27:16
Speaker 6: to money. Like previously, in your old relationship, when you
27:18
Speaker 6: had a double income and you weren't griving a relationship,
27:21
Speaker 6: your one hundred percent might have been saving that five
27:23
Speaker 6: hundred dollars a week, whereas now your new hundred percent
27:26
Speaker 6: is saving fifty or is saving nothing but not using
27:29
Speaker 6: credit or whatever your circumstances are, and then building that
27:32
Speaker 6: up so that you're not putting the pressure on yourself
27:34
Speaker 6: to suddenly be perfect, and then you're kind of accepting
27:36
Speaker 6: the situation for what it is. Your money is a
27:39
Speaker 6: resource that we use to do various different things. Right now,
27:42
Speaker 6: you're living your life a bit and you're spending.
27:43
Speaker 5: It a bit.
27:44
Speaker 7: It is what it is, totally, don't you know.
27:47
Speaker 6: If we were being purely mathematical, yeah, you know, cut
27:49
Speaker 6: it off and put it in savings. But behaviorally you've
27:51
Speaker 6: got to be much more gentler on yourself in that
27:54
Speaker 6: situation anyway, and even more so because there's.
27:58
Speaker 2: Been a breakup involved.
27:59
Speaker 4: Yeah, I imagine it's also quite costly with the breakup
28:01
Speaker 4: from moving home and you have to buy PHN sure
28:04
Speaker 4: and all this kind of stuff.
28:05
Speaker 2: You could bond down from new plays and what.
28:06
Speaker 4: But anyway, exactly, I totally go with saying I really
28:08
Speaker 4: really like that the six week walk.
28:12
Speaker 5: I think as well also just recalibrating your goals. You know, previously,
28:16
Speaker 5: maybe you were hoping to purchase the house within you know,
28:18
Speaker 5: a couple of years or whatever that might have looked
28:20
Speaker 5: like when you had that jewel income. Just because you
28:23
Speaker 5: don't have that jewel income doesn't mean you can't achieve
28:25
Speaker 5: those goals. I understand that it might feel very different
28:28
Speaker 5: because your financial situation looks entirely different, And as you said,
28:32
Speaker 5: am I, you're really navigating that around all of the
28:35
Speaker 5: emotions that you're feeling, which we know has such a
28:37
Speaker 5: huge impact on the way that we handle our money
28:40
Speaker 5: and how we feel about our financial position. But you know,
28:43
Speaker 5: just because you're now doing it with one person instead
28:46
Speaker 5: of two, doesn't mean that whatever those big goals that
28:48
Speaker 5: you were talking about having, they don't have to go away.
28:51
Speaker 5: You can still save to travel, you can still save
28:52
Speaker 5: to purchase the house. You can still save to get
28:54
Speaker 5: a pet or do whatever it is that you wanted
28:56
Speaker 5: to do, and you can totally do that by yourself
28:59
Speaker 5: as an independent girl. Like, just because there's not two
29:01
Speaker 5: people doesn't mean that you have to change all of
29:04
Speaker 5: your goals. I think, as Emma said, like recalibrating what
29:09
Speaker 5: that looks like and maybe adjusting your timelines or making
29:12
Speaker 5: sure that it's really realistic and attainable so you're not
29:14
Speaker 5: beating yourself up if you don't get to where you
29:16
Speaker 5: want it to be is so important. But I think
29:19
Speaker 5: also remembering that you're strong, an independent queen and you
29:22
Speaker 5: can totally achieve the things that you want to do.
29:25
Speaker 5: It just you have to be kind to yourself on
29:28
Speaker 5: the path to get there, I think is important. But
29:30
Speaker 5: I know that I'm someone who really does catastrophize and
29:33
Speaker 5: in a big change like that would send me for
29:36
Speaker 5: a spiral, and that's also okay. But yeah, I just
29:38
Speaker 5: wanted to remind you that you can do whatever you
29:40
Speaker 5: set your mind to, and you really, I think with
29:44
Speaker 5: you're doing the right thing, like you're thinking about what
29:46
Speaker 5: to do, which is even just becoming conscious of the
29:49
Speaker 5: problem is such a big step that takes a lot
29:51
Speaker 5: of people such a long time to get there. So
29:53
Speaker 5: it feels like you're doing really well, and I hope
29:55
Speaker 5: that you're okay, because yeah, like you said, back breakup
29:57
Speaker 5: so just the worst generally, like there's no good way
30:00
Speaker 5: to go about it, and it sounds like this one's
30:01
Speaker 5: been particularly difficult, and so I just wanted to send
30:04
Speaker 5: you some love and say you can totally do it,
30:06
Speaker 5: and we're all thinking of you.
30:07
Speaker 4: But absolutely I completely agree with that.
30:10
Speaker 2: I really do hope you're okay.
30:11
Speaker 4: If our listener is listening, I do hope that you
30:14
Speaker 4: you know, when I kind of like went through a
30:16
Speaker 4: similar thing recently. And again this is not financial, this
30:19
Speaker 4: is all emotional. But I had a friend who just said,
30:22
Speaker 4: in three months time, your life's going to look so different.
30:25
Speaker 4: In three months time, you're going to be so much happier,
30:27
Speaker 4: or in three months time, you're at least going to
30:29
Speaker 4: know where you're headed. And I think that's really important.
30:33
Speaker 4: So just keep that in mind that your future self
30:36
Speaker 4: is having a great time. But right now I can
30:39
Speaker 4: totally totally empathize. So hope you're okay.
30:43
Speaker 2: Okay? Is everyone ready for a juicy DM?
30:45
Speaker 4: Absolutely a listener has slim to our DMS with the
30:48
Speaker 4: following dilemma. So I'm currently twenty days into a no
30:51
Speaker 4: spend month that I set for myself where I'm not
30:53
Speaker 4: allowed to spend money on anything except the essentials in brackets, bills, rent, groceries, shopping,
30:58
Speaker 4: et cetera. But I have already failed and broken this
31:01
Speaker 4: three times, making impulse purchases on a dress, a pair
31:04
Speaker 4: of shoes that were on sale, and a bottomless brunch
31:06
Speaker 4: with my friends. I'm so disappointed in myself that couldn't
31:09
Speaker 4: even make it a month, and now I'm struggling with.
31:11
Speaker 2: Big feelings of guilt.
31:13
Speaker 4: I don't know if maybe I set the rules too strictly,
31:15
Speaker 4: considering this my first time doing this, and maybe I
31:17
Speaker 4: set myself up for failure for setting such high expectations,
31:21
Speaker 4: or maybe I'm just out of control. I need to
31:23
Speaker 4: address my issues with impulse purchases.
31:25
Speaker 2: What do you think?
31:26
Speaker 4: Any advice on how I can do this better for
31:28
Speaker 4: next time? Please help.
31:29
Speaker 5: I feel like, Emma, you're so well placed to talk
31:31
Speaker 5: about this because you did a no by yeah last
31:34
Speaker 5: year on clothing, which was so I think I've spoken
31:38
Speaker 5: about this on the top before about how I found
31:40
Speaker 5: it so interesting watching you do it.
31:42
Speaker 6: Yeah, I have a lot of thoughts around no spend.
31:44
Speaker 6: I feel like no spend in general has such as
31:47
Speaker 6: there's so much to say about it, there's so many
31:49
Speaker 6: pros and there's a lot of cons as well. So
31:51
Speaker 6: I last year did a full category ban of clothing,
31:55
Speaker 6: but it was still quite relaxed in that there were
31:59
Speaker 6: certain it didn't count, like I really knew what I
32:01
Speaker 6: was trying to do. I was really not buying outfits,
32:04
Speaker 6: Like anything that was outfits I would still have bought
32:06
Speaker 6: had it been the earstot, I would have bought a
32:08
Speaker 6: merch t shirt. I shoes were still allowed, because I
32:10
Speaker 6: don't have an issue with buying shoes. I actually hate shoes.
32:13
Speaker 6: I kind of wish I find them really like I
32:16
Speaker 6: don't over consume those again, bags accessories, if anything, I
32:19
Speaker 6: under consume them. I could probably benefit from having more
32:22
Speaker 6: of them to get more mileage out of my outfits.
32:24
Speaker 6: So I think that an option here would be to
32:28
Speaker 6: revisit the intention behind the no spend no spend a bit.
32:33
Speaker 6: Like we said in the previous dilemma, like you have
32:35
Speaker 6: this impulse to be like I'm suddenly forever changed and
32:39
Speaker 6: the person I was before the start of this month. No, no,
32:42
Speaker 6: like I'm going to be perfect and it sounds so
32:44
Speaker 6: much easier than it is. A month is a really
32:46
Speaker 6: long time, yeah, when you're actually trying to do something
32:49
Speaker 6: for a month. So I would be looking at the
32:51
Speaker 6: intentions behind the no spend and see what the motivations
32:55
Speaker 6: are behind the impulse purchases that are causing you to,
32:59
Speaker 6: for want of a better term, slip up, because it's
33:01
Speaker 6: creating guilt and it's probably creating like a domino effect
33:05
Speaker 6: of more purchasing, or it's creating a feeling of being
33:08
Speaker 6: out of control, which I said on the previous dilemma
33:10
Speaker 6: like that can foster spending as well, because it's the
33:12
Speaker 6: one thing that we can control in terms of the guilt.
33:15
Speaker 6: What I would be doing with that is instead of
33:17
Speaker 6: seeing it as a failure, just seeing it as data.
33:20
Speaker 6: So what were the three purchases? It was a dress,
33:23
Speaker 6: a bottomless brunch, whatever, Yes, those things are now data points,
33:28
Speaker 6: so we can look at around those. What happened in
33:30
Speaker 6: the lead up? Was it that everyone was going for
33:32
Speaker 6: a bottomless brunch and you felt left out? Was it
33:35
Speaker 6: that the bottomless brunch was actually always there and you forgot.
33:37
Speaker 6: That's a different problem. That's a phomo problem or an
33:39
Speaker 6: organizational problem.
33:41
Speaker 7: The dress was that like.
33:42
Speaker 6: An emotional purchase. Were feeling a bit shity about yourself
33:44
Speaker 6: that day that made you buy that? Or was it
33:47
Speaker 6: actually that you had an interview and you don't have
33:48
Speaker 6: enough workloads? Again two completely different problems. Yeah, So by
33:52
Speaker 6: looking at it as data, it takes away the guilt,
33:55
Speaker 6: because guilt is very different to shame in that guilt
33:57
Speaker 6: has you like regretting your behavior. You see the issue
34:01
Speaker 6: for what it is, and you're just constantly trying to change,
34:03
Speaker 6: but you're up against a brick wall. Having information and
34:07
Speaker 6: like taking action on that can help to dissolve that
34:10
Speaker 6: guilt because you're not feeling like, oh my god, I
34:12
Speaker 6: just need to change it, like you're actually in there
34:14
Speaker 6: working with the data. So seeing it as data points
34:16
Speaker 6: in terms of those individual things, but also I would
34:18
Speaker 6: see the month as a data point as well, like
34:21
Speaker 6: when did you find the month easy? Did you ever
34:23
Speaker 6: find the month easy? What planning did you do? Did
34:26
Speaker 6: you do any planning? Like I think they mentioned did
34:29
Speaker 6: they set themselves up for failure?
34:30
Speaker 4: Like?
34:30
Speaker 6: What does that kind of look like what did work,
34:32
Speaker 6: what didn't work, and then kind of using that to think, okay,
34:36
Speaker 6: where can I go as a next step, Like everything
34:40
Speaker 6: is really just an experiment. You tried that, it didn't work,
34:42
Speaker 6: That's okay, we can move on. Maybe we do a
34:44
Speaker 6: category ban of something. If the bottomus brunch was an
34:48
Speaker 6: organizational thing, and actually you're like, well, I wouldn't want
34:50
Speaker 6: to miss that, so there's really no point Rather than
34:52
Speaker 6: waiting for a perfect month where the circumstances are perfect
34:55
Speaker 6: for you to do and no spend, we can look
34:57
Speaker 6: at a category ban, or maybe banning isn't for you,
35:01
Speaker 6: maybe you're more of a person that can work with
35:02
Speaker 6: having a small budget for something each week. I personally
35:05
Speaker 6: benefit from concentrated periods of focus in that context of
35:09
Speaker 6: a ban, because I'm very like hyper focus on the
35:13
Speaker 6: month or the year or whatever and or that category.
35:16
Speaker 6: I couldn't do a no spend of nothing, but like
35:18
Speaker 6: the category selection helps me focus, and I'll put my
35:22
Speaker 6: all into it, and not just to complete it, but
35:24
Speaker 6: to learn from it, using it as a learning experience,
35:27
Speaker 6: rather than using it as an experience to get to
35:30
Speaker 6: a certain amount of savings. Because even if like really
35:34
Speaker 6: and I know this probably isn't what you want to
35:36
Speaker 6: hear at this point, but like, really getting through the
35:38
Speaker 6: month is technically the easy bit. The hard bit is
35:40
Speaker 6: what happens next, which I'm experiencing now having brought clothes
35:42
Speaker 6: for a year. Trying to balance it is harder than
35:46
Speaker 6: not doing it at all personally for me. Whereas if
35:50
Speaker 6: you actually, you know again, maybe a ban isn't for you,
35:52
Speaker 6: and actually you would find that easier.
35:54
Speaker 7: That was a lot of information. Sorry, I hope that's.
35:57
Speaker 6: Basically use it all as data about what approaches work
36:00
Speaker 6: for you and the surrounding circumstances around the purchases, and
36:05
Speaker 6: use that to redeploy into a new plan and then assess.
36:08
Speaker 6: Rather than that pass fail mentality, pass few mentality ruins
36:11
Speaker 6: almost every form of habit change.
36:14
Speaker 7: Let's go there.
36:15
Speaker 6: Let's sweeping statements every form of habit change. If there's
36:18
Speaker 6: an opportunity to pass or fail, it's not going to
36:21
Speaker 6: create long term change because if you pass, that means
36:24
Speaker 6: nothing about where you go next, and if you fail,
36:27
Speaker 6: that means everything about where you go next. Because you're disempowered,
36:30
Speaker 6: you feel out of control and you don't know what
36:33
Speaker 6: to do.
36:33
Speaker 7: Whereas when you're.
36:34
Speaker 6: Seeing everything as a learning experience and using all of
36:37
Speaker 6: the spends, successes, whatever, emotions, behaviors as data points that
36:44
Speaker 6: helps you with where to go next, and that's what
36:45
Speaker 6: creates lasting change. Forget about completing the no spend months
36:50
Speaker 6: unless you've learned something. It's really irrelevant because you can't
36:53
Speaker 6: never spend anything ever again.
36:54
Speaker 7: And we don't want to villainize spending.
36:56
Speaker 5: No, No, not at all. And I think the failure
36:58
Speaker 5: thing is that you can fail something, like it's not
37:02
Speaker 5: a bad thing to fail, Like anyone who's ever done
37:05
Speaker 5: anything had to fail before they succeeded. Like you look
37:08
Speaker 5: at to do anything ever, you know you need to
37:11
Speaker 5: collect the data, you need to do all these things
37:12
Speaker 5: exactly like you were saying, failure is just it just
37:15
Speaker 5: means you're making progress. Really like you've tried something, it
37:18
Speaker 5: didn't work, okay, great, Like, how can we adjust it?
37:20
Speaker 5: How can we reframe that to then be closer to
37:23
Speaker 5: the goal next time we try. I think, don't let
37:27
Speaker 5: it put you off feeling like you've failed. I think,
37:30
Speaker 5: particularly with goals, and I'm very much guilty of this
37:33
Speaker 5: as someone who struggles a little bit with perfectionism. Is
37:37
Speaker 5: if it doesn't go the way that you want it
37:38
Speaker 5: to go. Go why did I even bother? Like, what's
37:40
Speaker 5: the point? And that mentality really stands in the way
37:44
Speaker 5: of you succeeding, you know, going, oh, I can't not
37:48
Speaker 5: spend money, so I'm just not going to try to
37:49
Speaker 5: not spend money.
37:50
Speaker 7: And I'll just be bad by money.
37:51
Speaker 5: Then it means that you're never going to be good
37:53
Speaker 5: with money, which you know you're standing in your own
37:56
Speaker 5: way with that mentality. And I think reframing exactly like
37:59
Speaker 5: you were saying, means that we can go, Okay, well,
38:02
Speaker 5: how can I adjust? How can I set myself up?
38:04
Speaker 5: I suppose to be more successful? And you know whether
38:07
Speaker 5: that looks like changing the category or maybe you do
38:11
Speaker 5: two weeks, or maybe you do have the little saver
38:14
Speaker 5: like you were talking about earlier, where I'm not someone
38:16
Speaker 5: who does no spends. They don't really work for me,
38:19
Speaker 5: but I do exactly like what you do with the
38:21
Speaker 5: conset tickets I've spoken before. I have fifteen savers on
38:24
Speaker 5: my phone and I break down my spending into every
38:27
Speaker 5: little minute category so that I feel Okay, I know
38:30
Speaker 5: what I can spend within that category, and so I
38:32
Speaker 5: guess it's more of like extreme budgeting works for me,
38:36
Speaker 5: and I think recognizing not every system works for every person.
38:39
Speaker 5: You know, like my way wouldn' work for your way
38:40
Speaker 5: wouldn't necessarily work for me, and that is so fine.
38:44
Speaker 5: But it's just about figuring out what system does work
38:46
Speaker 5: for you to help you achieve whatever that ultimate goal was,
38:49
Speaker 5: whether it's raining in your spending, whether it's not consuming
38:53
Speaker 5: mindlessly on certain things, whatever that looks like, you can
38:57
Speaker 5: achieve that without necessarily having to do what you think
39:01
Speaker 5: everybody else has to do, if that makes sense.
39:03
Speaker 7: Totally agree to your point on goals.
39:05
Speaker 6: If this person was in the room with us, I
39:06
Speaker 6: would say, what actually was the goal step?
39:09
Speaker 7: Because I think with TikTok.
39:10
Speaker 6: And seventy five hard and everyone being like, I just
39:13
Speaker 6: did no spend and like I've seen a lot of
39:14
Speaker 6: stuff recently now that cash stuffing is back, I just
39:17
Speaker 6: didn't no spend and like they've got all the physical
39:19
Speaker 6: cash there. Yeah, And often when we make those big
39:22
Speaker 6: grand promises, we're just trying to absolve an immediate anxiety.
39:25
Speaker 6: I like, oh my god, I'm going to do that too,
39:26
Speaker 6: because you're feeling there's a feeling about something else and
39:29
Speaker 6: having that sort of future goal where you don't really
39:32
Speaker 6: have to do anything right now, but you've made a
39:34
Speaker 6: promise to yourself. It takes away that immediate feeling. But
39:37
Speaker 6: usually that's what the goal is. Whereas yeah, if you
39:40
Speaker 6: go what actually was the goal, often we go, well,
39:42
Speaker 6: I don't actually know everyone on TikTok was doing one,
39:45
Speaker 6: Like was it to save two hundred dollars? Could you
39:47
Speaker 6: still save two hundred dollars and have the dress and
39:49
Speaker 6: the brunch and the whatever, Like maybe you did achieve
39:51
Speaker 6: the goal after all.
39:52
Speaker 5: Yeah, And if that comparison culture thing, I think we
39:55
Speaker 5: see so many people sharing again their highlights on social
39:58
Speaker 5: media or whatever it is. You don't see the five
40:01
Speaker 5: times that they tried something and it didn't work before
40:03
Speaker 5: they complete it. You don't see the days that they
40:05
Speaker 5: skipped the seventy five hard or the days that they
40:07
Speaker 5: were miserable because they were I don't know, I don't
40:10
Speaker 5: really you know, they're walking at eleven o'clock at night
40:12
Speaker 5: because they're like, I've got to close my rings or
40:13
Speaker 5: I've got to do whatever it is. Yeah, we're comparing
40:16
Speaker 5: potentially to other people's successes, but your success can look
40:19
Speaker 5: totally different and maybe that does just look like this month,
40:23
Speaker 5: instead of spending one thousand dollars on random things, you
40:26
Speaker 5: only spent on three things. And that's an improvement and
40:29
Speaker 5: that's huge. Like, that's a movement towards changing a habit
40:32
Speaker 5: rather than just a snap period that you then relapse
40:36
Speaker 5: into afterwards because you've deprived yourself of something and then
40:38
Speaker 5: when it's over, you blow out and you buy everything
40:41
Speaker 5: that you've been waiting to buy the last month.
40:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
40:43
Speaker 4: I also think like, first of all, if you look
40:46
Speaker 4: back at every other month, if you only impulse sport
40:48
Speaker 4: three times, like, is this like actually quite an improvement
40:51
Speaker 4: in comparison to every other month, you know what I mean?
40:54
Speaker 2: But also, you know that thing where.
40:55
Speaker 4: You're like, I'm going to go on a diet tomorrow,
40:58
Speaker 4: or like, you know, I really hate die culture. Let's say,
41:00
Speaker 4: for example, I don't want to buy a muffin with
41:03
Speaker 4: my coffee every single morning anymore, And then the next
41:06
Speaker 4: day and for the rest of your life, the thing
41:08
Speaker 4: that consumes your mind, body, and soul is that muffin
41:11
Speaker 4: every single morning. Because you're not allowed it anymore. You've
41:14
Speaker 4: deprived yourself of that. You're putting a hard band on
41:16
Speaker 4: that instead of being like I'm just gonna do this,
41:19
Speaker 4: you know, a couple of days a week or whatever.
41:21
Speaker 4: That looks like just putting such a hard ban and
41:23
Speaker 4: like going cold turkey on anything, like you won't even realize,
41:26
Speaker 4: but it all start to consume me, like, oh, that's right,
41:28
Speaker 4: I forgot. I'm not allowed to spend any money, and
41:30
Speaker 4: that's all you'll think about, you know what I mean.
41:32
Speaker 2: So I feel like it's a really hard way to
41:34
Speaker 2: do that.
41:35
Speaker 4: Sometimes it does work for people, and that's like really
41:37
Speaker 4: really cool, but I find that like a lot of
41:40
Speaker 4: the time, if you're not thinking about something and then
41:42
Speaker 4: you put a band on that thing that you're not
41:44
Speaker 4: really even thinking about, then it's all you're going to
41:47
Speaker 4: think about. So to slip up and I use that
41:50
Speaker 4: in quotation marks, like slip up in three times in
41:53
Speaker 4: a month, that's really really cool, Like the amount of
41:56
Speaker 4: times I've impulse purchased literally just this morning, it's probably
42:01
Speaker 4: at least three times.
42:02
Speaker 2: So three times in twenty days.
42:05
Speaker 4: Because I know you said you're at your twenty day
42:06
Speaker 4: mark now like that's you know, congratulations. Personally, I'm like
42:10
Speaker 4: good for you. But anyway, like what you guys are
42:13
Speaker 4: saying before about habits. I've been reading this book at
42:16
Speaker 4: Tomic Habits.
42:16
Speaker 2: Have you guys heard of this one?
42:17
Speaker 5: Yes?
42:17
Speaker 4: Incredible, So you got to, like, I think that a
42:19
Speaker 4: lot of people focus too much on the goal without
42:21
Speaker 4: like getting and this is, you know, all in the
42:23
Speaker 4: author's words, getting your like systems in place is basically
42:28
Speaker 4: exactly what you guys were saying. Just like, if you
42:30
Speaker 4: have a goal, you must figure out how the heck
42:33
Speaker 4: you're going to get there and set it in such
42:35
Speaker 4: like crazy detail. Just be like, you know, it's not
42:38
Speaker 4: even I'm going to do this and this and this
42:40
Speaker 4: to reach my goal. It's like at seven oh one
42:42
Speaker 4: am when I wake up, I am going to you
42:44
Speaker 4: know what I mean, just like look at every single
42:47
Speaker 4: thing and break it all the way down and then yeah,
42:50
Speaker 4: but you're also looking at the motivations behind those goals.
42:53
Speaker 4: Is also very helpful, so you'll get there. Just don't
42:56
Speaker 4: beat yourself up. You're doing a great job.
42:58
Speaker 5: Absolutely what everyone else say.
43:00
Speaker 4: See what the community had to say. So we asked
43:02
Speaker 4: have you done a no spend month before? Twenty two
43:05
Speaker 4: percent of you said yes and seventy eight percent.
43:07
Speaker 2: Of you said no.
43:08
Speaker 4: Interesting and then we asked, if yes, what were the
43:11
Speaker 4: guidelines for the month. One of you said, I still
43:14
Speaker 4: made it aligned with my values, so it could only
43:16
Speaker 4: spend on replacement clothes slash shoes, slash planned events, et cetera.
43:21
Speaker 4: And then someone said no unnecessary purchases for the month.
43:25
Speaker 4: Someone else said, I banned myself from food delivery services eg.
43:28
Speaker 2: Uber eats. That's how to do.
43:30
Speaker 5: I feel like that's a popular one. That's a cure one.
43:33
Speaker 4: A few people kind of like we're in the same
43:35
Speaker 4: boat where they were just like, no one thing or
43:37
Speaker 4: no the other thing.
43:38
Speaker 5: You know.
43:38
Speaker 4: It wasn't like a full ban on necessarily not spending
43:42
Speaker 4: on anything but essentials. But yeah, I think that's the
43:45
Speaker 4: general gist. And then we said, was your no spend
43:48
Speaker 4: month successful? Forty four percent of you said yes, I
43:51
Speaker 4: was so proud of myself. Good for you guys. That's
43:53
Speaker 4: so impressive and very very hard to do. So fifty
43:56
Speaker 4: six percent of you said no, I think I set
43:58
Speaker 4: two strict rules for myself.
44:00
Speaker 5: Question because success is such a subjective exactly because how
44:03
Speaker 5: many you know of those responders, and obviously we can
44:06
Speaker 5: only ask you so many questions in a poll on
44:08
Speaker 5: a story but you know, how many of those people
44:11
Speaker 5: made it improvement because I would deem that, you know,
44:13
Speaker 5: a big success, or how many of those people learned something,
44:16
Speaker 5: because again I would consider that a success. Even if
44:19
Speaker 5: you didn't necessarily achieve the outcome that you set out
44:21
Speaker 5: with at the beginning of I'm not buying X, y Z,
44:24
Speaker 5: having those learnings, have those starter points is still putting
44:27
Speaker 5: you further ahead than you were when you started, which
44:29
Speaker 5: in my mind, that is what success is.
44:31
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, so.
44:32
Speaker 6: True, which kind of reframes the whole point, right as in, like,
44:35
Speaker 6: it's not just a month, it's it's actually way beyond that. Yeah,
44:39
Speaker 6: And like I'm a huge fan of a margin for error.
44:41
Speaker 6: So if this person the original dilemma had had a
44:44
Speaker 6: margin for error of three things, suddenly that failure is
44:47
Speaker 6: actually a success.
44:49
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, I agree. Also, in the book Topic Habits,
44:55
Speaker 4: they say you need just over fifty percent to like
44:59
Speaker 4: path of vo to be like President of America whatever.
45:02
Speaker 2: So orm's laters.
45:03
Speaker 4: If you're gonna you know, and I still say this
45:05
Speaker 4: in Quodes, if you're gonna slip up, just do it
45:07
Speaker 4: no more than fifty percent of the time. And then
45:11
Speaker 4: we asked if the month wasn't successful. What did you
45:13
Speaker 4: spend money on that you weren't meant to? Someone said,
45:16
Speaker 4: I made one purchase of a Monopoly board game for
45:19
Speaker 4: the family as was on sale.
45:21
Speaker 2: Fair enough, you got it, it was on sale.
45:25
Speaker 4: Someone said food, another said socializing, and another said coffee
45:28
Speaker 4: and takeaways. I feel like these are things that we
45:30
Speaker 4: encounter so often, so it really is hard to kind
45:33
Speaker 4: of put a band on those, like food, coffee, takeaways, socializing,
45:36
Speaker 4: you know, fair enough, those are very very hard things
45:38
Speaker 4: to avoid. And then we said tell us your two cents.
45:42
Speaker 4: So one person said, be kind to yourself. You can
45:44
Speaker 4: always try again. That's so true.
45:46
Speaker 2: I love that.
45:47
Speaker 4: Another said, read the book Good with Money from Emma Edwards.
45:54
Speaker 5: That wasn't me by that one came from Emma Edwards
46:01
Speaker 5: trolling me.
46:04
Speaker 4: Definitely, it genuinely was not from Emma. But that is
46:10
Speaker 4: an incredible tip. You prove that that wasn't from Emma
46:16
Speaker 4: and just take my word for it. Another said, go
46:19
Speaker 4: easy in yourself. No spend months are super restrictive and
46:22
Speaker 4: can be hard to maintain. Absolutely. Another said, don't be
46:26
Speaker 4: upset with yourself. Try again next month and see if
46:28
Speaker 4: you can beat those three purchases. Another said a month
46:31
Speaker 4: would feel too long, and that's where I'd fall down
46:33
Speaker 4: auto transfer and spend what's left. H We do you
46:37
Speaker 4: love an auto transfer in the town, which absolutely, but
46:41
Speaker 4: that doesn't usually with me. I go into the account
46:44
Speaker 4: that that auto transfer give us some of that back.
46:48
Speaker 4: And then another said maybe picking one category for a
46:51
Speaker 4: no spend month would help instead of going all or nothing,
46:54
Speaker 4: which is kind of what we were saying before. So
46:56
Speaker 4: I really really like that. These are all great suggestions.
46:58
Speaker 4: I think, Yeah, just go back to the drawing board.
47:01
Speaker 4: Try not to be too harsh on yourself. Honestly, you've
47:03
Speaker 4: done a great job just spending only three times in
47:06
Speaker 4: you know, twenty days, So good for you.
47:09
Speaker 2: I think it's a pretty good place to leave it.
47:10
Speaker 5: One hundred percent. Thank you so much for joining us, Emma.
47:13
Speaker 5: If people want to find you or the wonderful and
47:15
Speaker 5: highly recommended book Good with Money, where can they find you?
47:20
Speaker 7: Loved why She's on the money.
47:21
Speaker 6: You can find me at the dot Broke Generation on
47:24
Speaker 6: Instagram and occasionally TikTok, and my book Good with Money
47:28
Speaker 6: is bright yellow in most bookstores.
47:30
Speaker 7: You won't miss it, or you can get it on
47:32
Speaker 7: you know, all the majors Amazon, booktop Ya, after Books, etc.
47:35
Speaker 5: Incredible. Thank you so much for joining us. We had
47:38
Speaker 5: the best time and it was really fun to dive
47:40
Speaker 5: a little bit more into the psychology side of things.
47:42
Speaker 7: Thank you for having me.
47:43
Speaker 4: Thank you so much. All Right, guys, Victoria, We'll see
47:45
Speaker 4: you on Monday, Brighton early. Have a lovely weekend.
47:54
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Speaker 8: the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not
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Speaker 8: If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
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48:13
Speaker 4: Advice tailored towards your needs.
48:15
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