Latest / The Daily Sarcast / June 4th, 2026: A Hostage Stand Off, 60 Minutes And My Hiccups

Transcript

June 4th, 2026: A Hostage Stand Off, 60 Minutes And My Hiccups · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Today's episode is sponsored by a good caffeine boost. Enough where you're feeling
• 0:05
  amazing, but not too much where you've hurt populations.
• 0:08
  It's a very hard middle ground. This announcement is a very good thing in that
• 0:13
  we cannot allow lunatics to change our way of life, or even its scheduling.
• 0:18
  Trump on rescheduling the White House Correspondents Dinner for the end of July.
• 0:23
  Insert deep song here. This is the Daily Sarcast. I give you the news and maybe
• 0:27
  a laugh. I'm Lindsay Wernick, and today is June 4th, 2026.
• 0:32
  Okay, I'm going to be honest. I have the hiccups today, and I cannot get rid
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  of them for the life of me, so I'm really sorry that you have to listen to them if you do.
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  In real news, so today, out of LA, a husband and wife chef team ran one of the
• 0:47
  city's hottest restaurants.
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  That is now going through a divorce. That sounds like a rejected HBO script.
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  So the co-owners of the celebrity favorite
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  restaurant horses have accused each other
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  of everything from controlling behavior and infidelity
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  to abuse the allegations are
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  still allegations but the court filings have
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  become public and the details are so wild that
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  people are struggling to remember that the story started with
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  a restaurant honestly if someone pitched this
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  as a tv show the network executive would probably
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  be like let's like make this more believable the
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  lesson here is that no matter how fancy the restaurant is
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  no matter how impossible the reservation is to get human beings are still human
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  beings so in la people are currently paying 30 for an appetizer while reading
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  court documents that sound like
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  they were written by a team of soap opera writers who had too much coffee.
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  So if your relationship is a little messy right now, just remember,
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  at least your breakup probably isn't making national news between the cocktail
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  menu and the dessert specials.
• 2:00
  And yesterday in California, sorry, I really cannot get rid of these hiccups.
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  There was a 16-hour hostage standoff that ended early after the FBI shot and
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  killed a man who had taken 10 school employees hostage inside an office building in Bakersfield.
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  So this guy said that he had explosives strapped to himself and some of the hostages.
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  And after nearly 16 hours of negotiations, law enforcement entered the building around 420. Ha ha.
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  And all 10 hostages were rescued. And they were unharmed.
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  First of all, imagine being one of these employees. You wake up thinking you're
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  going to have another completely normal work day.
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  And suddenly you're starring in a situation that sounds like the plot of an
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  action movie that would somehow still get a 42% on Rotten Tomatoes.
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  The good news is that everyone made it out safely.
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  The bad news is that if your boss ever says we had a stressful day at the office,
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  nobody in that building is going to take that
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  phrase seriously ever again also this
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  is another reminder that the phrase circling back
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  on that email is actually not the worst thing that
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  could happen at work so one of the biggest stories
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  that is happening in the news this week is that from CBS long time 60 Minutes
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  correspondent Scott's penalty was fired and then publicly accused network executives
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  oppression journalists to include
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  information that says he was false or unverified in their reporting.
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  So, in a statement released after his departure, Pelley argued that the success
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  of 60 Minutes has always been built on credibility and accused the network's
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  new leadership of abandoning these standards.
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  CBS has not agreed with Pelley's characterization of events,
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  and the dispute has quickly turned into a public fight over journalism,
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  corporate influence, and editorial independence.
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  People have always watched the news, wondering if the media had an agenda.
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  Now the journalists and the executives are arguing about it in public,
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  which is kind of like finding out the chefs are fighting in the dining room instead of the kitchen.
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  This is the most 2026 story ever imaginable.
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  Nobody can agree on what's true. Everyone's posting statements on social,
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  and somehow the behind-the-scenes drama at a news organization is becoming the news itself.
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  The media's favorite story has always been itself.
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  It's usually just not this obvious in Lindsay
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  life so yesterday I went to the Yankees game
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  and all I talked about was getting ice cream and
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  a helmet and I didn't get it I did get milk bar though and that was really good
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  all the things that happened to me on the show that I just worked on including
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  but not limited to getting set up on a date going to Miami and realizing I'll
• 4:58
  be okay if I never go there again.
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  A random co-worker taking a bite of my flan without asking and not saying anything.
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  Getting harassed by paparazzi and got my photo taken by paparazzi despite not being famous.
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  And I went on a date and was told that he didn't get my vibe.
• 5:19
  Cooking tip of the day. I haven't cooked in weeks, so I literally couldn't tell you.
• 5:24
  Feedback, comments, questions, and I shoo-ish by looking for a date.
• 5:28
  Email me at lindsay at the daily sarcast.com thank you so much for listening
• 5:33
  today sorry i have the hiccups i cannot get rid of them for the life of me have
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  a great day and i'll talk to you guys tomorrow.