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Beyond the Fight-or-Flight Marriage: Overcoming Reactivity and Control · Doing Marriage Well

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  5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Doing Marriage Well for July 30, 2026.
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  Beyond the Fight-or-Flight Marriage. Overcoming Reactivity and Control.
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  Emotional reactivity is a tendency to respond impulsively and strongly to everyday
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  frustrations and minor issues.
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  Emotional reactivity is driven by our fight-or-flight system,
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  not our rational mind. We can try to fight it, or we can give in to it.
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  Once emotional reactivity kicks in, you are no longer having a calm, rational discussion.
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  We don't really hear what is being said to us when we are emotionally reactive
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  because we see our spouse as a threat to us.
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  We attack, run, or freeze, none of which allows for discussion.
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  External stress is often a factor. If you already feel threatened,
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  it doesn't take much to be pushed over the edge.
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  But if we justify doing this to our spouse because of other stress It means
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  we won't even try to avoid it Neither do we feel the need to apologize for it
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  later Control is a common issue in marriage,
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  We all want control of our life and surroundings And controlling our spouse
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  makes us feel we have that The problem, of course, is no one likes being controlled.
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  Men tend to try to control over Men tend to try to control overtly,
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  while women are more likely to be manipulative. Both hurt at marriage.
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  No one wants to be close to or interact with someone who is trying to control them.
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  Beyond withdrawal, contempt, emotional reactivity, and control,
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  are there other things that you have justified or been tempted to justify because
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  your spouse hasn't given you the response you desire from them? Where,
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  are you holding back,
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  or pushing because of what you see as their failed response?
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  This is Paul, and justification does not lead to doing marriage well. 2, 3, 4, 5.