Latest / The Daily Sarcast / September 15th, 2026: College Moms, Sardines Are In And Back To NYC Life

Transcript

September 15th, 2026: College Moms, Sardines Are In And Back To NYC Life · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Today's episode is brought to you by the personal assistant you don't need.
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  still forget what day it is?
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  you are perfectly capable of managing yourself.
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  Tom Brady describing a pass during the Eagles-Commanders game on Sunday.
• 1:05
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I gave you the news and maybe a laugh.
• 1:10
  I'm Lindsay Vernick, and today is September 15th, 2026.
• 1:14
  Did anyone catch the Emmys last night? I didn't even realize that they were
• 1:19
  going on last night until like two hours before.
• 1:22
  I watched my friend do like a comedy performance with a group of people for
• 1:28
  it. It was like a watching like a live.
• 1:30
  I mean, it wasn't like watching. It was literally watching the Emmys live stream.
• 1:34
  And then on commercial breaks, they did little skits. And my friend did like
• 1:38
  a Love Island skit of being voted off as a bombshell.
• 1:41
  And it just gave me a lot of PTSD from my last show. but she was amazing. Love you, Em.
• 1:48
  In real news, parents have found a new way to make their college kids a lot less independent.
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  Parents are now hiring what are essentially college concierges.
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  They're professional adults who help take care of their kids while they're away at school.
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  And when I say help, I mean everything from checking in on them,
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  helping them with problems, getting them things that they need,
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  and generally just making sure that their 19-year-old is surviving college.
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  So you can send your kid 500 miles away and still hire someone to making sure
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  they're eating their vegetables and mentally stable.
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  I understand that people want to make sure that their kid is okay,
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  but at some point, they do need to figure some things out for themselves.
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  Like, if your college kid calls you because they ran out of toothpaste,
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  the traditional response is, go to CVS.
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  And now the new response is, don't worry, mom has dispatched your local mom.
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  I mean, I would have loved to have the service in college. I would have loved
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  to have a woman come over to my house every day, helping me with laundry,
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  cook, and asking her for all different kinds of boy advice.
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  College is supposed to prepare you for adulthood. And now parents have decided
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  the best way to do that is have a stranger follow you around making sure that you have clean socks.
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  So there's this new food trend that I just literally cannot understand.
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  Sardines are having a moment. And my mom must be so happy. I know mom that you
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  hate when I talk about you on the podcast, but every time I hear sardines,
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  I think of you because I know how much you love them.
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  So sardines are packed with protein, omega-3 fatty acids, vitamin D,
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  and a lot of other really good nutrients.
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  So health experts are like, you should really be eating them. Yum.
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  Except sardines are fish that come in a can, and they don't look very appetizing.
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  There are now recipes for sardines on toast, sardine salad, sardine pasta,
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  and all other kinds of ways to incorporate them into your diet.
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  But if I have to incorporate a food into my diet, there's usually a reason that
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  it wasn't there already.
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  They may have really good health benefits. I'm sure that they do.
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  Like, I love salmon and tuna and shrimp.
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  Like, we literally have an ocean full of fish that don't require us to open
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  a little tiny metal container and make you want to vomit.
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  Sardines are becoming particularly popular among younger people,
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  which means that we've reached a point where Gen Z has discovered something
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  our grandparents were eating out of necessity and decided that this is a new lifestyle.
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  Sardines are healthy and affordable and sustainable, and I'm sure that they taste great.
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  But so does being delusional, and I'm not about to start putting that on toast.
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  Okay, well, I have now for a lot of years, but I'm not down to put anything else on my toast.
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  Okay, this is a silly one. I mean, they're all silly, but you know what I mean.
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  So there was this study done by the New York Times, and they decided to ask
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  a bunch of 10-year-olds what they think the future is going to look like.
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  And nothing says credible like someone who still thinks that the tooth fairy is very real.
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  So these kids were asked to imagine what life will be like decades from now.
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  And their predictions included things like advanced technologies,
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  changes to how we live, and of course, a lot of robots.
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  I mean, that makes sense. If you ask a 10-year-old what the future looks like,
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  they're going to either give you a thoughtful prediction about AI or tell you
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  we're all going to have flying cars. There's no in-between.
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  Adults have spent years trying to predict the future using economists, scientists, and data.
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  But then we have like fourth graders who can look at the world for five minutes
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  and say, I think robots are going to take everyone's jobs, you know,
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  and the kid is going to be more likely to be correct.
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  The only problem is if we trust these 10-year-olds to predict the future,
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  we also have to accept their other forecasts, which means in 20 years there
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  will apparently be no climate change, everyone will own a puppy,
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  and we're all going to be living on Mars.
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  I mean, I'm less concerned with whether kids can predict the future.
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  They should really be asking if they can predict when their parents are going
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  to stop asking them to clean their rooms because that forecast is looking pretty grim in Lindsay life.
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  Okay so i'm like back to life not really i'm like easing back into things i
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  went to the doctor for the first
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  time in two years yesterday i officially transferred to a new york doctor.
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  And i had a fast all day or okay i had a fast until like 1 30 i didn't eat anything
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  i was literally dying it was crazy,
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  and then i stopped and i got sushi at nas market this really good place on the
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  upper east side and they have happy hour.
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  So you get $10 sushi roll for $10. It was amazing.
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  And then I went to the gym and then I went downtown and I got $1 oysters.
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  I had a really fancy day, but it was very cheap. All in all,
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  I think I spent, actually, I probably did spend a lot of money.
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  I probably spent like 50. No, I spent like $50 all in all in the whole day in New York City.
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  That's pretty good to have like really good sushi and oysters anyway this is
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  a long one sorry i'm rambling about this but yeah it feels so good to be back in new york city,
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  lindsey lessons lessons by linds if you are looking for something that you lost
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  stop looking in the place you're convinced that it is because it is most definitely not there,
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  cooking tip of the day taste your food before you serve it.
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  You'll be happier when you realize it's unsalted before other people try it.
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  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish boy looking for a date,
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  email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com.
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  Thank you so much for listening. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow.