Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Self Care, Healing & Authentic Living: A Guide to Women’s Empowerment with Melissa Crook

Transcript

Self Care, Healing & Authentic Living: A Guide to Women’s Empowerment with Melissa Crook · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

• 0:00
  Hello, Melissa Crook here from The Field Podcast.
• 0:04
  I'm so excited to have you with me here today.
• 0:06
  It's an empowerment Tuesday and we're doing something new here.
• 0:10
  We're going live from sub stock and we're going to be doing this
• 0:14
  now on our Tuesdays. We're going to be looking at
• 0:19
  ways to increase engagement. We really want you in the
• 0:23
  conversation with us. And so we're hoping doing these
• 0:26
  live empowerment discussions with me each Tuesday.
• 0:29
  We'll invite you you into that, help you feel safe coming to a
• 0:33
  place where you can ask your questions in the sub stack
• 0:36
  community. We have been doing these with
• 0:39
  our panels on YouTube. And the great thing about
• 0:42
  YouTube is you get out to a ton of people.
• 0:44
  The tough thing about YouTube tube is so you can get some
• 0:47
  trolling and some really, you know, at times some, you know,
• 0:52
  inappropriate, unsafe comments. And I'm hoping that by doing
• 0:56
  lives here in Substack, we can create that safety where people
• 1:01
  really feel like they can come into this feeling seen, known
• 1:05
  and heard without any of the rudeness or lack of empathy or
• 1:11
  care that you can have out in the big wide world where it's it
• 1:15
  feels like this is a a little more of a protected space here.
• 1:18
  So we want to try that. So today I'm bringing you our
• 1:22
  Empowerment Tuesday conversation.
• 1:25
  We're talking about living out, feel, finding empowerment,
• 1:30
  embracing layers. That is our acronym.
• 1:33
  That is everything that this platform is built around.
• 1:36
  The field framework. If you're new to us, the field
• 1:39
  framework embodies 8 key questions and three key talking
• 1:44
  points or questions, I guess you'd say 8.
• 1:47
  They're kind of questions, kind of talking points, all designed
• 1:49
  to be questions that I want you asking yourself regularly
• 1:53
  because I have learned in my journey of unpacking and healing
• 1:59
  and growing and unlearning. If I ask myself these things on
• 2:07
  a regular basis, depending on the season of my life, that
• 2:10
  might be weekly, quarterly, monthly, yearly, daily.
• 2:14
  Sometimes it'll help me stay on track.
• 2:17
  It'll help me to live in touch present as my healthiest, most
• 2:22
  authentic self. And this requires intention and
• 2:25
  it requires us making the choice to do this for ourselves, but
• 2:29
  also remembering that we are valuable and we are worthy of
• 2:32
  that and living from that. So today we're going to talk
• 2:37
  about living out feel and and what that does for our
• 2:41
  relationship with our self and our relationship with other
• 2:44
  people. But a quick review if you're new
• 2:46
  to this is feel encompasses embracing your layers.
• 2:51
  All those pieces and parts that make up your story.
• 2:54
  The parts you love, the parts you don't love so much with
• 2:58
  curiosity rather than judgment and being able to.
• 3:02
  You don't have to love all the layers, but the willingness to
• 3:05
  acknowledge them and no longer keep them in the corners with
• 3:09
  shame or fear or trying to run away from them.
• 3:13
  It's that that ability to embrace because we are not
• 3:17
  defined by our best or worst decision.
• 3:21
  And I want to even take best or worst off of it because life is
• 3:26
  built on a myriad of experiences.
• 3:28
  Some we love, some we don't love, some that we have a part
• 3:32
  in that it happened to us, and some that happened to us that we
• 3:35
  have no control over. But we always get to decide that
• 3:39
  we can process them, learn from them, heal from them, move
• 3:44
  through them, grow from them. We don't have to stay stuck.
• 3:47
  Whether it's staying stuck in the the wonderful and denying
• 3:50
  the tough things happening around us or staying stuck in
• 3:52
  the tough and not allowing the beautiful things around us in we
• 3:56
  want to be able to embrace all those parts of our layers.
• 3:59
  So that's that's step one. The next step is asking yourself
• 4:03
  5 activities that nourish you. 5 words on how you want to feel
• 4:08
  the next six months. How would you describe yourself
• 4:11
  by your character traits, Who you are, not what you do.
• 4:16
  Adjectives at those things that I'm I'm spirited, I'm hopeful, I
• 4:23
  am excited, I'm stubborn. All those things that describe
• 4:28
  your personality. Really having our foundation and
• 4:32
  knowing who we are, knowing those activities that nourish
• 4:35
  us, that fill our cup, that help us feel fully resourced and
• 4:39
  those words on how we want to feel the next six months.
• 4:42
  How were we contributing to getting there?
• 4:45
  What are we doing to take action to allow ourselves to actually
• 4:50
  be in that space in the next 6 months?
• 4:53
  And this really builds the framework to then allow us to
• 4:56
  know what what fills my cup. So therefore what is part of my
• 5:01
  self-care? The next step is after answering
• 5:04
  those three questions is what am I doing for that?
• 5:06
  Am I incorporating any of these activities that nourish me?
• 5:09
  Am I considering who I am as a person?
• 5:12
  Does what I'm doing now for myself care still meet my needs?
• 5:16
  Or do I need to make some shifts and and get present with that?
• 5:19
  Setting healthy boundaries again, going back to those 3
• 5:22
  core questions we asked earlier about what fills our cup and who
• 5:26
  we are. Look at your calendar.
• 5:28
  Does your calendar a reflection of that or do you need to set
• 5:31
  some healthy boundaries around your time, your spaces, the
• 5:35
  people that you're spending it with?
• 5:37
  Do you need to start saying no to a few things and remembering
• 5:41
  no period is the complete sentence.
• 5:43
  We don't need to over explain or justify.
• 5:47
  And so those healthy boundaries, making those connections between
• 5:50
  our mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, sexual, financial
• 5:56
  health, they're all connected. They're all impact each other.
• 6:00
  Are we able to name those? Are we allowing ourselves to
• 6:04
  feel those things and move through them?
• 6:06
  And I feel very strongly there's no negative or positive, good or
• 6:11
  bad emotions. Emotions are clues.
• 6:15
  Emotions are clues to let us know what's going on inside us,
• 6:19
  what needs to be felt, what needs to be processed.
• 6:22
  Showing up for ourselves unapologetically, which then
• 6:26
  therefore lends us to be able to show up for other women
• 6:29
  unapologetically. No more saying I'm sorry for
• 6:32
  showing up in a room or taking up space.
• 6:34
  We deserve to be there. We get we have a voice, we have
• 6:37
  something to offer, and so do the other women around us.
• 6:40
  They're not a threat. There's no scarcity mindset.
• 6:44
  We all bring something unique and special.
• 6:46
  So let's show up for ourselves without apologizing for it.
• 6:49
  And let's invite other women into that as well.
• 6:51
  That's how we create safe, healthy spaces for all of us,
• 6:56
  living by your why and your values.
• 6:58
  Knowing what those things are. Again, those three questions you
• 7:01
  asked earlier, those activities that nourish you and who you are
• 7:05
  and those healthy boundaries, all of those things let you know
• 7:08
  what you value, what your why is, what lights you up every day
• 7:13
  when you get up. So are you living from those
• 7:15
  spaces? Again, going back to that
• 7:17
  calendar, is it a reflection of that living out of your own
• 7:20
  expectations versus others expectations?
• 7:24
  Is your life defined by what you are looking for, which you
• 7:27
  desire, which you feel aligned with?
• 7:29
  Are you allowing other people to decide that for you?
• 7:32
  So living out of those own expectations and if you do have
• 7:35
  a clear set of expectations and healthy boundaries and values
• 7:40
  that you want to be living from, are you communicating those to
• 7:42
  other people or are you expecting them to read your
• 7:45
  mind? So the communication piece here
• 7:47
  is very important and this gives you an idea into living out
• 7:53
  feel, finding empowerment and bracing layers.
• 7:56
  When you incorporate all of these entities, these questions,
• 8:00
  these things from what I call the feel framework of this
• 8:03
  enables you to live out feel. And that's what we're talking
• 8:07
  about today. So within that, more questions
• 8:11
  to ask yourself, how does living out feel impact your
• 8:15
  relationships, first with yourself and then with other
• 8:20
  people? And you really on all of these
• 8:22
  things, I always go back to starting with you because that's
• 8:27
  who you are accountable to. That's what you can control.
• 8:32
  You're not responsible for other people in getting them to do
• 8:36
  this. That is their responsibility to
• 8:38
  do it. But you are responsible to
• 8:41
  yourself. It's not other people's
• 8:43
  responsibility to make you happy or fill a void.
• 8:47
  It's your responsibility to know who you are to incorporate those
• 8:51
  activities that nourish you and fill your cup and care for you.
• 8:55
  And that can look like making sure you're getting enough water
• 8:58
  and fueling yourself throughout the day.
• 9:00
  It can look like that healthy walk in nature where you breathe
• 9:04
  in the air. It can look like breathing
• 9:06
  exercises. All these things are choices you
• 9:09
  get to make for you and they don't have to be a big amount of
• 9:13
  time, but this is how you invest in you and you get clear with
• 9:18
  you and you accept the layers of you.
• 9:21
  And when you're able to show that empathy and care and
• 9:25
  support and accountability to yourself, it then opens the door
• 9:30
  for you to be able to engage with that in that way with other
• 9:34
  people. You're no longer looking for
• 9:38
  relationships to fill a void in your life.
• 9:42
  You're looking for relationships to add to your life and you're
• 9:45
  inviting people in it, your life that want that for themselves as
• 9:50
  well. When we embrace our layers and
• 9:52
  we connect with ourselves, we have the capacity to view others
• 9:57
  with curiosity, with grace, with empathy, with kindness, because
• 10:02
  we have learned how to embrace this within ourselves.
• 10:05
  And again, like I said, we then will surround ourselves with
• 10:09
  people that want that for themselves, that want that with
• 10:13
  their relationships with each other.
• 10:16
  Instead of needing someone, we choose someone.
• 10:20
  We have learned to meet our needs and understand that we are
• 10:25
  responsible for our own well-being, not for others, and
• 10:28
  others are not responsible for ours with it.
• 10:31
  It adds to our well-being. It enhances, it can fill us up
• 10:35
  in so many ways, joy, pleasure, community.
• 10:40
  But that work starts within each of us to then show up healthy,
• 10:44
  not only for ourselves and in those relationships.
• 10:47
  And it takes the pressure off relationships being something
• 10:50
  that they were never intended to be.
• 10:54
  All right, So what are some ways to engage with this?
• 10:57
  Take a look at how you engage and treat the people you are in
• 11:02
  relationship. If it doesn't feel healthy to
• 11:05
  you, if it feels a little trauma informed or codependent or need
• 11:10
  based rather than want based, take a look at that and then go
• 11:14
  back to you. How do you engage with yourself?
• 11:17
  What is your self talk look like?
• 11:20
  Are you leading a conversations when you need help with oh I'm
• 11:24
  sorry but or are you leading with hey, I need a minute of
• 11:27
  your time? Can we look at today or is there
• 11:29
  another time you're showing up without apology?
• 11:33
  Are you doing that with yourself already?
• 11:35
  Are there some things you need to stop and take a look at so
• 11:38
  that you can start engaging with yourself in a healthy way?
• 11:40
  Which then again, opens that door to like, oh, wait a minute,
• 11:44
  this is what I'm seeing happening in this relationship.
• 11:48
  Maybe how do I have a conversation here where maybe we
• 11:50
  can turn the corner or approach us a different way?
• 11:53
  Or is this a relationship that wants to be healthy and these
• 11:57
  are all questions we can ask ourselves.
• 11:59
  Again, it will be very hard to engage with others in a healthy
• 12:03
  way if you aren't first engaging with yourself in a healthy way.
• 12:08
  And so I wanted to bring these conversations here, Leave your
• 12:13
  questions in the chat. If you're watching now and
• 12:16
  you're not sure what your questions are, that's OK.
• 12:19
  That's OK. You can just go ahead and leave
• 12:21
  them later. I will come back to them.
• 12:24
  I will answer them later on. So whether you're watching this
• 12:27
  live now or you watch the recording of it later on, we
• 12:30
  want this to be an open space for you to come to.
• 12:34
  So know that every Tuesday, starting today, moving forward,
• 12:38
  I'm going to be here live at 11:00 AM Pacific, 2:00 PM
• 12:43
  Eastern Time with a conversation.
• 12:46
  It's I call them a one-on-one empowerment sessions.
• 12:48
  And they're just that little reminder of what's already
• 12:53
  inside you that maybe you need to just tap into to remind
• 12:55
  yourself of a way that you can live healthy and authentic to
• 12:58
  yourself that week. And if you need more support on
• 13:02
  it, let me know. Send me a message here, go to
• 13:05
  embracing dot com and fill out that contact form.
• 13:08
  We've got a ton of resources to help you live your healthiest,
• 13:12
  most authentic life. And that starts with these
• 13:14
  conversations here. So I'm looking forward to
• 13:17
  engaging with you every Tuesday on here on sub stack.
• 13:20
  And then again, if you can't catch it live answer, you know,
• 13:23
  put your questions in the chat and we'll come back to you and
• 13:26
  answer them later. Thanks so much for being with me
• 13:28
  today here on the field podcast. Take good care and I'll see you
• 13:32
  next time here. Have a great week and remember
• 13:35
  you are valuable, you are worthy and you get to choose.
• 13:39
  Thanks so much for being with me.