Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / Why Australia Needs Its Own Thanksgiving

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Why Australia Needs Its Own Thanksgiving · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

0:06
Speaker 1: Hello, this is the Happy Families Podcast. I'm doctor Justin Colson.
0:09
Speaker 1: What if I told you that there is a scientifically
0:12
Speaker 1: proven intervention that could make your family nine percent less
0:17
Speaker 1: likely to die prematurely, that could reduce your kid's anxiety
0:21
Speaker 1: and depression, and it would cost you absolutely nothing. Big
0:24
Speaker 1: Farmer is not involved. You don't have to have a script,
0:26
Speaker 1: you don't need to see the GP, you don't need
0:28
Speaker 1: to take a tablet every day. Imagine if you could
0:30
Speaker 1: get in a tablet what would that do? People would
0:33
Speaker 1: pay money for this? And what if I told you
0:35
Speaker 1: that Americans have been doing it for about four hundred years,
0:37
Speaker 1: but we Australians are missing out. It's November twenty seven.
0:40
Speaker 1: In a few days, kids are going to be finishing school,
0:43
Speaker 1: Families are exhausted. Christmas stress is building. It's starting to
0:46
Speaker 1: get hot. Meanwhile, across the Pacific, millions and millions and
0:51
Speaker 1: millions of American families are gathering around tables. They're going
0:54
Speaker 1: around sharing what they're grateful for, not because they're more
0:57
Speaker 1: religious or more sentimental than us, because they've built a
1:02
Speaker 1: ritual that science now prooves is transformative. Today, Kylie and
1:07
Speaker 1: I are going to make the case that Australia should
1:09
Speaker 1: adopt Thanksgiving. No, not the Turkey, not the Pilgrims, the
1:13
Speaker 1: practice of deliberate, family centered gratitude. And I've got Harvard
1:18
Speaker 1: research and a whole bunch of other great ideas to
1:20
Speaker 1: back me up. Stay with us. Hello, this is a
1:24
Speaker 1: Happy Family's podcast. Welcome along, So good to have you here.
1:27
Speaker 1: If you knew, my name's doctor Justin Cours. I'm here
1:29
Speaker 1: with my wife missus Happy Families, Kylie. We're the parents
1:32
Speaker 1: of six kids and this is the podcast that gives
1:34
Speaker 1: you real parenting solutions every single day. It's Astralia's most
1:37
Speaker 1: downloaded parenting podcast. Kylie. Could be a provocative one, could
1:40
Speaker 1: be a controversial one. But I'm making the argument today.
1:42
Speaker 1: We are making the argument today Thanksgiving is good and
1:46
Speaker 1: Australia should. I mean, we're happy to jump on board
1:49
Speaker 1: with Halloween, which is meaningless enough enough sort of stuff
1:53
Speaker 1: running around knocking on doors and asking for sugar. And
1:55
Speaker 1: yet the one tradition that is really useful that Americans
1:59
Speaker 1: are right into, we turn up our noses. We don't
2:03
Speaker 1: really seem to like it, and there's good evidence for
2:06
Speaker 1: why we should be doing it.
2:07
Speaker 2: We've been practicing gratitude with our kids since the beginning
2:10
Speaker 2: of time, it feels like, and one of the one
2:13
Speaker 2: of the favorite topics around the dinner table is what
2:16
Speaker 2: are we grateful for? And we're supposed to share one thing,
2:19
Speaker 2: but inevitably.
2:20
Speaker 1: Oh like an hour and a half lays we're still
2:22
Speaker 1: there in case for all go six daughters.
2:24
Speaker 2: Hello, but I'm interested to know what the research says
2:28
Speaker 2: about gratitude.
2:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Actually, before I even complained about the six girls,
2:32
Speaker 1: our son in law doesn't mind sharing what he's grateful
2:35
Speaker 1: for as well. He thought it was really weird at first,
2:37
Speaker 1: and now he just loves it. Let me tell you
2:39
Speaker 1: about just a couple of recent findings. There is now
2:41
Speaker 1: a couple of decades of really strong gratitude research. Study
2:45
Speaker 1: published in twenty twenty four study from Harvard, nearly fifty
2:47
Speaker 1: thousand nurses were tracked over a couple of years. Those
2:51
Speaker 1: who scored highest on gratitude had nine percent lower mortality
2:56
Speaker 1: from any cause. So this is not some dodgy online server.
3:00
Speaker 1: This is published in one of the world's top medical journals.
3:02
Speaker 1: Controlling for everything like health and religion and lifestyle and
3:06
Speaker 1: involvement in life like social relationships, even optimism. Can you
3:11
Speaker 1: imagine if there was a pill that reduced your risk
3:13
Speaker 1: of death by nine percent, people will be paying big
3:16
Speaker 1: dollars for this. Right, this is legit, but this is free,
3:18
Speaker 1: and so therefore people aren't doing it. Just paying attention
3:21
Speaker 1: to what you're grateful for. Another study, neuroscience data seems
3:25
Speaker 1: to show that when we express gratitude, it lights up
3:27
Speaker 1: something known as the acc the anterior singular cortex and
3:30
Speaker 1: also the medial prefrontal cortex. I know, I just had
3:32
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of big woods that nobody really cares about.
3:34
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, But these are the brain regions that
3:36
Speaker 1: we use for moral reasoning. They're the brain reasons that
3:38
Speaker 1: we use for emotional connection. In other words, gratitude helps
3:43
Speaker 1: us to connect with people better and it makes us
3:46
Speaker 1: more moral. What's really interesting is gratitude also reduces activity
3:50
Speaker 1: in the amigdala, which is the brains.
3:52
Speaker 2: Oh, I know what the amig dealor is because inside
3:54
Speaker 2: out talks all.
3:55
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, a warning warning. It's the alarm system that
3:58
Speaker 1: goes off. There's a threat we need to worry, and
4:00
Speaker 1: so when gratitude is present, then our amigndaler calms down,
4:04
Speaker 1: which means that our body produces fewer inflammatory markers, which
4:07
Speaker 1: is the stuff that causes chronic illness and heart disease
4:09
Speaker 1: and accelerated aging. So basically, your brain physically changes when
4:13
Speaker 1: you practice gratitude. That's what we call neuroplasticity. It's not
4:16
Speaker 1: will woo, positive thinking neurons that fire together, wire together.
4:21
Speaker 1: And therefore, every time that you consciously notice, acknowledged, recognize
4:25
Speaker 1: step in two, an awareness of something good, you're literally
4:29
Speaker 1: building new neural pathways and they are healthy ones. I
4:32
Speaker 1: know I've gone on a long time, but one more
4:34
Speaker 1: quick study that I just wanted to share. This is
4:35
Speaker 1: another twenty twenty four study. There's a couple of meta
4:39
Speaker 1: analyses actually that have come out in the last year
4:41
Speaker 1: or two showing that gratitude interventions reduce anxiety, that reduce depression,
4:45
Speaker 1: They improve life satisfaction. If you're grateful, you tend to
4:48
Speaker 1: exercise more, sleep better, you consume less alcohol. Pretty much
4:54
Speaker 1: in every single facet of life. We see improvements for
4:57
Speaker 1: people who are practicing gratitude with literal g gratitude interventions. Right, students,
5:03
Speaker 1: here's one for kids, students who are experiencing academic pressure
5:06
Speaker 1: when they're going through their gratitude moments key predictor of
5:10
Speaker 1: mental health, key predictor of mental well being. When you
5:13
Speaker 1: look at the youth statistics around mental health in Australia
5:15
Speaker 1: at the moment, it's just horrible, right, anxiety, depression, suicide rates.
5:19
Speaker 1: We're desperately trying everything. Meanwhile we've got this evidence based,
5:24
Speaker 1: really simple answer right in front of us, and everyone's like, oh'
5:27
Speaker 1: looking to do gratitude? How lame. It's like, no, Hello,
5:30
Speaker 1: this stuff actually works, and you know who it works
5:32
Speaker 1: best for the people with the biggest struggles.
5:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's interesting. I remember a couple of times after
5:38
Speaker 2: having children and going through abouts of postnatal depression, and
5:41
Speaker 2: your mum actually was the one who brought me a
5:44
Speaker 2: gratitude journal and she said, I just want you to
5:47
Speaker 2: write three things every day that you're grateful for.
5:50
Speaker 1: And sometimes it feels like such a struggle.
5:51
Speaker 2: The first time I did it, I honestly I couldn't
5:55
Speaker 2: think of anything. My life felt so hard, and I
5:59
Speaker 2: rang and I said, I can't do this, like I
6:01
Speaker 2: just I can't think about like I can't find anything.
6:04
Speaker 2: I can't think of anything. And she said, Kylie, even
6:06
Speaker 2: if it's just you're grateful that you can feel the
6:09
Speaker 2: warmth of the sun on your skin. And so for
6:12
Speaker 2: the first probably week or so, it was things like that,
6:16
Speaker 2: I'm grateful that the sun shining, or I'm grateful for
6:20
Speaker 2: the flower and the garden, like they were.
6:23
Speaker 1: Just really it's not exactly deep stuff.
6:25
Speaker 2: Generic things, but over a period of time it enabled
6:31
Speaker 2: me to start to see things that actually were meaningful,
6:34
Speaker 2: that actually did have depth and purpose in my life
6:37
Speaker 2: that I couldn't see before because my brain was so
6:40
Speaker 2: trained to just see all the bad.
6:43
Speaker 1: Right. And it's one of those things, right, if you've
6:45
Speaker 1: got a teenager who's having a hard time and you say, well,
6:47
Speaker 1: just tell me something you're grateful for, they're going to
6:49
Speaker 1: slam the door in your face.
6:50
Speaker 2: Yeah.
6:50
Speaker 1: Like, it's one of those really tricky ones where people
6:53
Speaker 1: who are struggling do not want to and do not
6:55
Speaker 1: feel like they actually can. It's kind of I can't,
6:58
Speaker 1: I can't find anything. I'm going totally makes sense. I'm
7:01
Speaker 1: not on anyone's case here, but if we can make
7:03
Speaker 1: the extra effort, something happens. The data is that the
7:06
Speaker 1: scientific evidence on this is pretty robust. I did my
7:09
Speaker 1: PhD in positive psychology and I've really walked away from
7:11
Speaker 1: most of what positive psychology is. I think it's been
7:13
Speaker 1: commercialized within an inch of it's life, and the promises
7:16
Speaker 1: of positive psychology have not been delivered as a general rule.
7:19
Speaker 1: But there is one outstanding exception. There's actually a couple
7:22
Speaker 1: of outstanding exceptions, but the one that always stands out
7:25
Speaker 1: to me is gratitude. The evidence here is really really robust.
7:29
Speaker 1: There are a lot of studies in this area. It works,
7:32
Speaker 1: It makes a difference in.
7:33
Speaker 2: Every case where I've struggled mentally and emotionally, it has
7:38
Speaker 2: been the act of practicing gratitude that has been the
7:42
Speaker 2: beginning of helping me get out of that big dark hole.
7:46
Speaker 1: So after the break, I'm going to make the argument.
7:48
Speaker 1: Maybe we together will make the argument for why Australia
7:50
Speaker 1: needs this and how we can actually make it happen.
7:54
Speaker 1: Stay with us. This is the Happy Families podcast, Real
8:04
Speaker 1: parenting solutions every day on Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast.
8:07
Speaker 1: If you're enjoying the pod, please share it with your friends,
8:09
Speaker 1: Please like it, Please leave a five star rating and review.
8:11
Speaker 1: It helps other people to find the podcast and make
8:13
Speaker 1: their families happier. Kylie let's talk about Australia culturally. Culturally
8:19
Speaker 1: gratitude and Thanksgiving, we just push back against it. I mean,
8:22
Speaker 1: we love the commercialization of Halloween, but the idea that
8:25
Speaker 1: we would get into Thanksgiving. Every time I bring it
8:29
Speaker 1: up with the Strains, they literally just they're like, get real,
8:33
Speaker 1: Like there's a real.
8:34
Speaker 2: I think that it doesn't feel like it's got substance.
8:37
Speaker 1: Which is so funny, But Australians and I I'm grateful people, no,
8:40
Speaker 1: And I.
8:41
Speaker 2: Watch this though, because you and I have been very
8:45
Speaker 2: intentional over the years of expressing gratitude to the people
8:49
Speaker 2: that matter at most in our lives. And I would
8:52
Speaker 2: say that the majority of people who find themselves in
8:55
Speaker 2: front of somebody expressing real, meaningful gratitude really struggle that
9:04
Speaker 2: they're not comfortable sitting in that space, Like it's it
9:09
Speaker 2: really pushes boundaries that they're.
9:12
Speaker 1: There's a level of vulnerability around it that Australians I
9:15
Speaker 1: think are really uncomfortable. I think also Australians can get
9:17
Speaker 1: really cynical when someone gets sentimental. They're like, oh, what
9:19
Speaker 1: do you want or what's your angle? And we've got
9:23
Speaker 1: tall poppy syndrome as well, right, like top poppy syndrome.
9:27
Speaker 1: People feel very uncomfortable expressing appreciation or having appreciation expressed
9:31
Speaker 1: about them, and we're not really a very ritualized country,
9:35
Speaker 1: like we sort of push back against that sort of stuff.
9:37
Speaker 1: I just I think Thanksgiving solves so many challenges that
9:40
Speaker 1: we have here, and especially at this time of the year,
9:44
Speaker 1: the years winding down, the Christmas madness hasn't kicked in.
9:48
Speaker 1: It just feels like it's the right time. It's spring,
9:50
Speaker 1: so you can have a barbecue out the back. Forget
9:53
Speaker 1: the turkey. No Australian really likes turkey, but we love
9:56
Speaker 1: a barbecue, right, get the barbie fired up, and nothing
10:01
Speaker 1: else is really competing for attention. I just I'm really
10:04
Speaker 1: big on it. I think there's arguments for it.
10:06
Speaker 2: One of the biggest arguments I think for Thanksgiving is
10:09
Speaker 2: it actually just teaches our kids to be grateful. And
10:12
Speaker 2: I don't know any parent out there who wouldn't be
10:15
Speaker 2: grateful to have some more gratitude expressed.
10:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well that you do for them, Like you
10:21
Speaker 1: can't just say kids be grateful. That just never works.
10:25
Speaker 1: But when they see it modeled and when there's that
10:27
Speaker 1: rich ritual where gratitude is practiced, not preach like we
10:31
Speaker 1: do it every week in our home, sometimes every day
10:33
Speaker 1: in our home, but a lot of families. I've sat
10:35
Speaker 1: with people and they've come into a home and they've
10:38
Speaker 1: experienced that gratitude circle that we do and they're like,
10:41
Speaker 1: never seen anything like that before. That just felt beautiful,
10:43
Speaker 1: Like people, Oh my goodness, it just feels so good.
10:46
Speaker 1: And when you get the entire family, hopefully if the
10:48
Speaker 1: whole family's near you sitting around the table, like you
10:50
Speaker 1: got your parents, you got the kids, you got the grandparents,
10:53
Speaker 1: they're sharing a couple of things that they're grateful for
10:55
Speaker 1: in the last year. That's pretty I mean, it's pretty deep.
11:00
Speaker 2: So we do generalize gratitude things. But then on birthdays,
11:03
Speaker 2: we actually share what we're grateful for about about that
11:06
Speaker 2: individual people. And I recently celebrated my birthday and one
11:09
Speaker 2: of my children she actually shared that one of the
11:13
Speaker 2: things that she was grateful for was the way in
11:16
Speaker 2: which I express my gratitude to the people that are
11:19
Speaker 2: important in my life.
11:20
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for your gratitude.
11:21
Speaker 2: And she reminded me of a time where I was
11:25
Speaker 2: really trying hard to practice gratitude and I took fourteen days,
11:30
Speaker 2: I did two weeks worth. Every morning I woke up,
11:33
Speaker 2: I wrote ten things I loved about one specific person.
11:37
Speaker 2: And once I'd gone through that process, I thought, what's
11:41
Speaker 2: the best way that I could gift to this So sorry.
11:44
Speaker 1: Let me say it again. You've got fourteen friends, and
11:47
Speaker 1: you're right, ten things that you love about them, ten
11:50
Speaker 1: things you're grateful for about them each.
11:51
Speaker 2: Yeah.
11:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, so one hundred and forty things in total. Yeah,
11:54
Speaker 1: ten things per person. Okay? Cool?
11:56
Speaker 2: And so I decided at the last minute that instead
11:58
Speaker 2: of just sending it in a card to them, that
12:01
Speaker 2: I would actually take the time to go and sit
12:04
Speaker 2: with them and share those things with them. And my daughter,
12:09
Speaker 2: as she was sharing, she remembered that experience and remembered
12:13
Speaker 2: me sharing the experiences I got to share with people
12:17
Speaker 2: that are so meaningful to me and have had such
12:21
Speaker 2: an impact in my life. But we don't often take
12:24
Speaker 2: the time to explain and express in detail why. We'll
12:29
Speaker 2: often say thank you, or you know, that was amazing.
12:32
Speaker 2: I really appreciate your help.
12:33
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm grateful to you because of A B, C, D, E, F, G, H.
12:36
Speaker 2: I, n J. This is how you impact my life
12:39
Speaker 2: on a really personal level. And I was so grateful
12:43
Speaker 2: for her remembering that because it brought it to my
12:46
Speaker 2: remembrance and it just made me save with those friendships
12:49
Speaker 2: even more.
12:49
Speaker 1: Well, I'm so grateful that you're grateful that she remembered that,
12:52
Speaker 1: and now that you remember that, because now we can
12:54
Speaker 1: all be grateful that you did that. I love it.
12:55
Speaker 1: Gratitude just feels so good. I want to move us
12:59
Speaker 1: toward a conclusion, and we need to wrap this up.
13:01
Speaker 1: The benefits from my point of view, are that kids
13:04
Speaker 1: get to hear family members, parents, grandparents, siblings, sharing their perspectives,
13:09
Speaker 1: their vulnerabilities, their appreciation, their recognition.
13:11
Speaker 2: It just becomes a normal part of conversation.
13:14
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, and so long as you don't get
13:15
Speaker 1: too formulaic about it. I mean we used to be like,
13:17
Speaker 1: what are your three things? Okay? Next? What are your
13:19
Speaker 1: three things? Okay next? Whereas now the first thing might
13:23
Speaker 1: lead to a five minute conversation and then we're like, oh,
13:25
Speaker 1: hang on, we've got to go back. What are your
13:26
Speaker 1: other things? What else are you grateful for? And there's
13:28
Speaker 1: just it becomes this beautiful thing where everyone starts to
13:32
Speaker 1: notice good things, and you know what, you can also
13:35
Speaker 1: be grateful for bad things. I think that it is
13:37
Speaker 1: really important to highlight that we always focus on how
13:39
Speaker 1: we're grateful for all this good stuff, but I often
13:42
Speaker 1: like to reflect on the things that have happened that
13:44
Speaker 1: are horrible that I'm grateful for as well. Like I
13:47
Speaker 1: wish that I hadn't broken my neck in my back
13:49
Speaker 1: in that surfing accident. I know that it really scared
13:50
Speaker 1: a lot of people when that happened a couple of
13:52
Speaker 1: years ago, but I'm really grateful number one, that I'm okay.
13:56
Speaker 1: But number two, I'm grateful for how it helped me
13:58
Speaker 1: to be grateful for my physical life ability going through
14:01
Speaker 1: that hard thing, helping me to realize just how fortunate
14:03
Speaker 1: I am, how good my life is, because I've got
14:06
Speaker 1: that capacity. We talk about how Australia is a great country.
14:11
Speaker 1: We call it the lucky country for a reason, right, Well,
14:13
Speaker 1: like it's we are so fortunate to live here, grateful
14:17
Speaker 1: to be able to sit around the table with people
14:18
Speaker 1: and listen to them. I gave my mama call the
14:20
Speaker 1: other day and said, Mamma, I'm just calling you because
14:22
Speaker 1: I can. Because she's lost both of her parents, and
14:26
Speaker 1: my dad's lost both of both of his and I
14:28
Speaker 1: know one day that's going to be me. One day
14:30
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be able to ring my mum.
14:32
Speaker 1: And I just said I can ring you, and that's
14:34
Speaker 1: such a privilege. I'm so grateful that I can. I
14:36
Speaker 1: don't want to let that go. So that's why I'm
14:38
Speaker 1: ringing you, because you and my mom, I love you
14:40
Speaker 1: and I'm really grateful for you. And I just wanted
14:41
Speaker 1: you to know that because I can tell you that today,
14:44
Speaker 1: I can actually tell you. So I think it just
14:48
Speaker 1: builds family connections. Do you need a special day for it? No,
14:51
Speaker 1: of course not. Can you do it and if you want, yeah,
14:52
Speaker 1: of course you can. But having that special day, I
14:54
Speaker 1: just like it. So let's wrap this up by talking
14:57
Speaker 1: about how we can make it happen. What it could
14:59
Speaker 1: look like. I reckon have a barbecue, forget the roast turkey.
15:02
Speaker 1: I already highlighted that. I reckon go to the beach,
15:04
Speaker 1: or go down to the local park, or have a
15:06
Speaker 1: backyard gathering. If you've got different traditions, multicultural traditions, just
15:10
Speaker 1: bring that to the table and find ways to be
15:12
Speaker 1: grateful for it. What else, Kyle, You've got to send
15:16
Speaker 1: out the invites it's Thursday night. There's only a few
15:19
Speaker 1: days to go. But who cares? Start small? Just do
15:22
Speaker 1: it right, Like it's the last Thursday of November. So
15:26
Speaker 1: just say this Thursday night, we didn't have any plans,
15:28
Speaker 1: Now we do. We're going to do Thanksgiving.
15:30
Speaker 2: Maybe just have a lickety stick activity in the backyard.
15:34
Speaker 1: What activity a lickety stick? I don't think paddle pops.
15:38
Speaker 1: We've been married for twenty eight and a half, twenty
15:40
Speaker 1: nine years. I don't think I've ever heard you say
15:41
Speaker 1: lickety stick activity.
15:43
Speaker 2: What is that? I just said, paddle pops in the backyard.
15:46
Speaker 1: Oh so literally, just say for Thanksgiving, we're going to
15:48
Speaker 1: get together and have just desert in the backyard.
15:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, it doesn't have to be a big deal
15:53
Speaker 2: for people who have I had that. Number one. You
15:56
Speaker 2: have so many people that you want to invite over
15:59
Speaker 2: and it's going to be a major event, or if
16:02
Speaker 2: it's not, it's something that's quite uncomfortable or foreign to
16:05
Speaker 2: you to actually do the expressing. You could just have
16:07
Speaker 2: a gratitude tree and you could actually, you know, kind
16:10
Speaker 2: of write things and attach it to the tree and
16:13
Speaker 2: everyone gets to read them. So you're still having the experience.
16:16
Speaker 1: Three years ago. We did, and it's beautiful and it
16:19
Speaker 1: was great because every time we walked past the lemon
16:20
Speaker 1: tree that was in the front door, we see this
16:23
Speaker 1: lemon tree full of labels and tags that we'd stuck
16:26
Speaker 1: on the tree or tight on to the tree, and
16:27
Speaker 1: it was like, that tree is full of all these
16:29
Speaker 1: labels and tags of things that our family is grateful for. Yeah,
16:32
Speaker 1: it was really really great.
16:33
Speaker 2: So whatever it looks like, I think it's just about
16:36
Speaker 2: being intentional.
16:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd say three things. Number one, you want to
16:39
Speaker 1: make it kid friendly. Number two, you want to record
16:42
Speaker 1: it somehow so that you can look back and say, oh, yeah,
16:46
Speaker 1: this is the stuff that we were grateful for last year. Like,
16:48
Speaker 1: imagine next year you're saying, last year we said this,
16:50
Speaker 1: What about this year? Where are we at? Here's the conversation,
16:53
Speaker 1: I think the conversation starter. After everyone's eaten, just go
16:56
Speaker 1: around and share one or two or three things grateful
17:00
Speaker 1: for from last year. One person who made a difference
17:03
Speaker 1: in your life, and one thing that you're looking forward
17:06
Speaker 1: to in the coming year. One thing that you're looking
17:09
Speaker 1: forward to being grateful for. A future anticipated schedule of gratitude.
17:14
Speaker 1: If you like for me, that's what it's all about.
17:18
Speaker 1: If your family is dealing with conflict, I think this
17:20
Speaker 1: can be a bonding experience. It's not about pretending problems
17:23
Speaker 1: don't exist. It's about saying, were changing your focus.
17:26
Speaker 2: Yeah it was problems everywhere, there's hard everywhere. Love it.
17:29
Speaker 2: But we can either focus on that or we can
17:31
Speaker 2: focus on goodness. And goodness is going to show us
17:35
Speaker 2: the sunshine more than the rain.
17:37
Speaker 1: And if people say that they're too busy, I'm just
17:40
Speaker 1: going to call it. I'm going to have a microp
17:41
Speaker 1: moment here. Provocative, but takes an hour, two hours once
17:46
Speaker 1: a year to do this. How many hours of Netflix
17:50
Speaker 1: did you watch this week? How many hours of TikTok
17:52
Speaker 1: or in Sacramer you scroll this week? Find the time
17:54
Speaker 1: this stuff actually works. Reality is, we can't control a
17:58
Speaker 1: lot of stuff that happens to us. We can't prevent
18:00
Speaker 1: illness and loss and hardship. It's going to happen, it's
18:02
Speaker 1: going to hit us. But we can control our attention.
18:05
Speaker 1: We can decide to notice what we are grateful for
18:09
Speaker 1: in our lives. We can get our families together, we
18:11
Speaker 1: can practice gratitude together. So our challenge is make Thanksgiving
18:16
Speaker 1: twenty twenty five. Happen in your house this Thursday night,
18:19
Speaker 1: the final Thursday of November. Put it in the calendar,
18:21
Speaker 1: tell the family, invite your friends over. Make it happen,
18:24
Speaker 1: even if it's not perfect, even if food's overcooked, even
18:26
Speaker 1: if you're just having lickingy stick paddle pops in your backyard,
18:32
Speaker 1: even if your teenage is wrong. They're rising going. This
18:34
Speaker 1: is so long. We can't believe we have to do this.
18:36
Speaker 1: Even if your dad comes over and makes inappropriate jokes,
18:40
Speaker 1: don't worry about it. The point is you did it.
18:42
Speaker 1: You've created a ritual, You've practiced gratitude as a family.
18:45
Speaker 1: Because the science is clear. Americans stumbled on this like
18:49
Speaker 1: four hundred years ago. Neuroscience is now proving it. They've
18:52
Speaker 1: built a holiday around gratitude and family, and Australians are
18:55
Speaker 1: pushing against it. I just can't comprehend it. We don't
18:57
Speaker 1: need their history, we don't need their traditions. We can
18:59
Speaker 1: do it anyway, but we would be fools not to
19:02
Speaker 1: learn from this science. Thanksgiving twenty twenty five. We're all in,
19:08
Speaker 1: how about you? The Happy Family's podcast is produced by
19:11
Speaker 1: Justin Rouland from Bridge Media. MIM Hammond's provides additional research,
19:15
Speaker 1: admin and other support. Thanks for listening. We hope that
19:18
Speaker 1: you've got something out of this, and we hope that
19:20
Speaker 1: this Thursday night you feel grateful in some special way.
19:23
Speaker 1: We'll be back tomorrow with more on the Happy Families
19:26
Speaker 1: podcast