Latest / Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie / Chill AF Masterclass - What It Takes To Live Life With A Relaxed Nervous System

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Chill AF Masterclass - What It Takes To Live Life With A Relaxed Nervous System · Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Live Love Podcast, hosted by me.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: On this podcast, we go beyond the Facebook to really create a life that flows so that you can thrive in your body, relationship, wealth, money, business, and spiritual connection, where we rewire your nervous system and truly expand into all that is possible.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: In these episodes, we will have a juicy conversation full of all the code, tools, tips that really work.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are looking to live well, you are in the right place.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: For ways to work with me, visit keepupwithlive.com and follow me on Instagram at keepup with live for more.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: And with that, let's get into the show.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Hello everyone.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: I have a very special episode for you today because this is my Chill AF masterclass.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: It is a free masterclass that I did that is so good and so juicy that I wanted to put it on the podcast so that you could easily like save it as an episode.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: You can listen to it as you're walking the dog, you know, cooking, whatever it is.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's full of all about what it takes to live a relaxed nervous system.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: So it doesn't really need much more of an introduction, but just so you know kind of why there's an interactive episode, that's why.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Enjoy the Chill AF masterclass.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Chill AF.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: What it takes to live life with a relaxed nervous system.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: So before we dive in, we're just going to do a little bit of housekeeping.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: So this can be just another thing that you watch or that you listen to, you know, from the internet, or this can be a turning point in your life where there was before this conversation and after this conversation.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you have pen and paper, perfect, but there will be also a replay.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I really suggest the first time, like receiving most of it, you can write a couple of things down, but you will have a replay.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: There will be lifetime access to the replay.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I will not be taking this down ever, or like as long as you know, I don't know, YouTube is working or whatever.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: So as long as like that exists, you'll have it.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: I know sometimes um things are only available for a limited time.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: This will be up for your pleasure for you for the foreseeable future.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: So you're welcome to just relax, enjoy, come back, make notes afterwards, and just honestly have fun.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because one of the things people I think think about when it comes to their nervous system is this heavy, dragging, like we're gonna have a fun conversation.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is not gonna be heavy or dragging or feel like it's not fun or that it has to be this big thing.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: And as you're joining, I want more people in.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Just say hello so I can see you.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: The next thing is to really stay open to things landing in a new way for you.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: There are times where even I, you know, you can watch the same thing over and over again, or you might listen to the same thing, and you get something new each time.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I really want you to see like where you can be open, where you can stay open to things landing in a different way.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps you hear things and it never like clicked that way before.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: So just being focused and kind of like really seeing how much you can get out of today.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: The next thing, because there are so many new people in my world.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Some of you are very used to me being direct and to the point, no fluff, no BS.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: For some of you, this will be your first time with me.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I am very direct and to the point, but I do it with so much love because not only, and I will talk about kind of where I've come from, my struggle with the nervous system for like a decade.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: I know what it's like to be in that place, and I want to be as honest and direct with you so that you can get where you want to go as fast as you want to get there, right?
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: So have the most generous interpretation of me.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: I may say things that trigger you.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: It might make your ego flare up and then you'll close off or shut down.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Notice when your body does that.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Notice when you close down and you're like, oh, can I can I be open?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Can I challenge myself to seeing this in a new way?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: The reason I am direct and I say what you need to hear is because I want you to grow and I want you to actually have the thing.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not going to be like, oh yeah, just take a walk and your nervous system will be fine.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if everyone who just went on walks had a regulated nervous system, we'd see a lot more women with regulated nervous systems.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: So hold back, be open.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: If I poke something that's a wound, be like, ooh, that's interesting.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: I notice where that's coming up for me.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's something I need to explore, something I need to heal.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: So whenever I speak the frequency of truth, I know I do lose some people, but I'm warning you in advance so that when that happens, that doesn't distract you, because that is a distraction from our ego.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: If you're familiar with shadow work, that ego part of you wants to distract you.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so that being said, let us go ahead and dive in.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: So for those of you who don't know, obviously my name is Liv.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason I am so passionate about healing your nervous system is because I suffered from chronic health issues from ages 17 to 27.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Everything from anxiety, PCOS, IBS, chronic bloating, no matter what I ate, acne, chronic fatigue, everything, barely like enough energy to get out of bed.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: I was running on coffee and adrenal supplements to get me going.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so I obviously wanted to get to the root, right?
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: We're all looking for like, all right, how do I relax my system?
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: This is before I even realized that my system was the thing that was playing in the background.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: I was very focused on my physical body, right?
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Which is great.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was eating well, I was gluten-free, dairy-free, did the IVs, the supplements, every protocol, every cocktail, every cleanse, every detox, all the things.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, well, why am I doing all these things?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I still have all of these symptoms.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, these things help me manage my symptoms, but I'm not interested in managing.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm interested in getting to the root and having it go completely away.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And like these things are great, they're important.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm all for like eating healthy and you know, supplements can be supportive, but I don't want it to just be a band-aid, a natural band-aid for a solution, right?
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: We will obviously want to get to a point where we don't need that stuff.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: I remember I was guzzling passion flour for my anxiety just to keep calm.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: But why did I keep needing it?
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't adding up in my head.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very much a puzzle.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: I like putting puzzles together.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why is this isn't adding up?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm doing all the right things.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Why do I still have symptoms?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm someone who firmly believes that everything is figure-outable.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I was never gonna be someone where this was something I would have to manage.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: No, we're gonna get to the root and we're gonna solve it.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a deeper answer.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I had known about the nervous system because I was in med school at the time, had a degree in psychology before that.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm aware of the nervous system and how it worked.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: But I hadn't actually applied like that to my own life of like, oh, trauma, oh, repressed emotions.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: I was so busy just trying to survive and manage my symptoms while also getting a YouTube channel, while also going to med school and like doing all those things.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like too busy to even notice my emotional state.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: And like this was very much showing up in my life.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Panic attacks, like I said, crippling anxiety followed by like crashes when your nervous system goes down.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: My digestion, no matter what I ate, the smallest thing would set me off.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: I remember like a recipe not turning out and bursting into a panic attack into tears or spilling something, and that was it, right?
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Being anxiously attached in relationships, severe abandonment wounds from my dad.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: I actually remember not sleeping well for those 10 years.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: That night I released the abandonment wound from like my father, I slept for the first night all the way through in a decade.
• 8:12
  unknown: Right.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: And when like just living in that reaction mode, you're snappy, you're irritable.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: You need to like micromanage situations because that makes your anxiety feel a little bit better, but your system is hyper-vigilant.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, chill, I had chills when I said it.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna dive more into this.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because your nervous system doesn't just show up in physical symptoms.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: And like, that's why if you've been in my world for a while, you've seen how I've kind of evolved, how it started with physical, but it shows up in your relationships, it shows up in your business, it shows up in everything.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: And this is important because I guarantee some of the things that I was experiencing are showing up for you.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: And like, thank God I found this work.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, I would still be trying to manage symptoms.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: I would still be anxiously attached, anxious in general.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I've unfortunately seen people like this for years, decades.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Heck, I was in it for a decade.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I get it before I found it.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so you're here to not have it take a lot less.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: You know, hopefully it hasn't been 10 years for you.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna collapse that time.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna dive into exactly what it takes now to live life with a relaxed system.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: So in order to do so, we need to understand why our system isn't relaxed in the first place.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Now, it's not relaxed because it has unprocessed emotions or trauma in the body that the body is still reacting to.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so, because the body is still reacting to it, this is creating conflict, like actual conflict in the body.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: The thing is, is that your body will keep reacting to it until you release it.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's like if you leave food out and pretend not to see it, it's gonna get moldy.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: And if you keep eating it, it's gonna make you sick.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Except the food is your body, and then that's why you get physical symptoms.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: So trauma is simply energy that gets trapped in the body in response to a threat, right?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: And this can be a real threat or it can be a perceived threat, and we're gonna be talking more about that.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: So emotions are just energy, right?
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: So even when the threat is not there, your nervous system can be interpreting that it's there or on edge that it could be there, right?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is where we get anxiety.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Anxiety is just your nervous system on high alert for danger because of the dangers that happened to it before that are trapped in your body.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: For example, and I'll be going through many examples today.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: The reason I was anxiously attached to romantic relationships was definitely because my dad wasn't around growing up and like abandoned me 100%, right?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so my system is on hyper alert.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-oh, we were abandoned before.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't trust that it's not going to happen again.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: The thing is, is that once we don't restore safety following a threat, that trapped energy causes your nervous system to get stuck in that fight or flight, right?
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it can't enter that calm state.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is that this happens over and over and over again in our body.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's not just the threat of us being abandoned once.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: We have that threat in just that one example, maybe 10 times a day or five times a day, or like recurring in different relationships across you know, years of time.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: And every time this happens, you get dysregulated, you get triggered, and it stacks one on top of the other, on top of the other, on top of the other, until your whole body is full, it's bursting at the seams of unprocessed conflict and emotions.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: So everything from when you were born until this moment in time, you're watching it now.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: If you have not released it, it is stored there.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is also why I speak about if you are a parent or plan on having kids, how important nervous system work is.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because kids mirror your nervous system on an unconscious level.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: We have what are called mirror neurons, meaning your dysregulation inside, not what you show on the outside, but what's going on inside, they mirror it.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it starts when they're in your womb.
• 12:38
  unknown: Right.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so you might see content on the internet being like, oh, we're co-regulating, but the mirror is actually what's going on unconscious.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: So you could be like, oh, everything's okay, sweetie.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: And if inside you're like, they're mirroring that.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: So also very important because when we do this work, we're not just doing it for us, we're doing it for everyone around us.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: And this also explains why I know why, why, why our nervous system, there we go, can get wired from mirroring our parents or whoever was around predominantly when we were little, whoever raised us, right?
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: And this is on top of any actual traumas that happened.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: So we have all the emotional trauma that actually happened to us.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps we have parents and things that went on, they were dysregulated, so we're mirroring them.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: And then we see how we become this one big ball of dysregulation.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do these things actually get trapped in our system?
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: You've heard the word trauma.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Trauma is honestly just an intense experience in which three or more emotions are experienced at the same time.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's all it is.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Three emotions or more at the same time.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: It can be fear, sadness, grief, anger, shame, guilt.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's actually hundreds of emotions.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: For example, sadness and despair are different.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: So any three or more at the same time.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: And when your brain, or when this happens, your brain and nervous system cannot actually process all of it.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: It gets overloaded and it splits.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: Once it splits, these separate parts are stored in your body as excess energy because your body didn't know how to utilize it at the time.
• 14:30
  unknown: Right.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: So it just splits and stores it.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: In order to release that excess energy, those emotions need to be disconnected from the event or the memory.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, it will continue to be stored in your system.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: And your system actually wants to let go of this energy.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: And we're going to be diving into that today.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: It just needs the guidance to remember how.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: So really think about it like all these little instances are different sticky balls that get stored in our body.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: Different emotions will get stored in different parts of our body, right?
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Anger gets stored in your liver, shame gets you know stored in your lower section, like your pelvic region.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: Different emotions, different storages.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's that simple.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: So when you're experiencing so many emotions and trauma in your life, remember, trauma, and we're gonna go over big T and small T, just three emotions.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: On the outside, your body freaks out and it keeps you in that fight or flight.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: So your inside world is kind of painful, right?
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: We have all the emotions, but perhaps the outside world is also scary.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: You've got life going on, maybe health issues, I don't know, bills, school, kids, doesn't matter.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: The outside's a lot, the inside's a lot, and then your system is just going through a lot and we get dysregulated, but this goes on for so long.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: And eventually what will happen is your system will crash.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is where you hear people talk about cortisol and lowering your cortisol.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've ever been under extreme stress for long enough, you actually get low or no cortisol, which is what I ended up having, which is adrenal burnout, where like your body was running at such a high level of stress for so long that it can't keep up.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: Your body cannot actually produce the hormones to keep you awake, and you get like a crash, and then you get chronic fatigue and exhaustion.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, trauma can be any situation that you're experiencing that your nervous system finds too overwhelming.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so that has that split.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: And what happens is that split gets stored in your subconscious mind.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because you literally would not survive.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: Your system does not believe it will survive if it stays in your conscious mind.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: You're probably, you know, in that fight break release mode, your system is like, okay, if I take on any more emotion, I will die.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: Subconscious.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Take it out of my direct experience right now.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now it pushes it there so that you can bring it back later to process it slowly and one by one.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: But what happens is it gets left there because we are not taught in school, like this is how you release emotion, which isn't a separate conversation.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: But people don't realize that it's playing in the background and it's like looping in the background, and they're going about their day and they're wondering what's looping, but it's in the subconscious, right?
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: The unconscious part of your mind.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: So we need to bring it forward so that you can unlink it and release that stored energy.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: So because our conscious mind cannot handle it, right?
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Too painful, they go back there in the subconscious, but it becomes a lens for how we go about life.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: And you've probably heard before, you know, your subconscious runs 95% of the show, that kind of thing.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that's true because it it is what dictates your nervous system response.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: So if you have all these things, all these wounds, all these conditionings operating in your subconscious, yeah, it's gonna trigger your nervous system in all these different scenarios.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what gets our mind and our body out of whack.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because that energy cannot flow out, right?
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: We leave it there for so long that eventually it becomes physical blockages, i.e., symptoms.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: It also becomes unconscious reactions.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: Whenever we have a nervous system reaction, we're not sitting there and being like, okay, I am going to freak out now.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's like a primal thing that just kind of kicks in.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have control, right?
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: It feels very not in your control.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: And this is why.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's because it's you're not consciously running the show, it's your subconscious.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: So when your energy is blocked like this, when it comes to emotions, you can think of this as like a pocket that's blocked that you just haven't felt yet.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it is emotion at some point in your life that you stored for later.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: And we just have to like clean that up.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: We just shoved it down because it was too much at the time, and now you know we need to bring it back into your awareness.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: And it gets brought back into your awareness every time you're triggered.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna dive into this later, but do you notice how when people are triggered, what do they try to do?
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: They try to push it away.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: But all that does is store it for later.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: All that does is keep it in your system.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: Right, subconscious 95% of the show.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so you can't expect to then have control over your nervous system when 95% of it is filled with all of these unprocessed emotions.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: And this is of course what creates a disease, an imbalance, it disconnects us, right?
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: So constant trauma equals constant stress, it equals stored in the body and stops you obviously from you know feeling pleasure, joy, and bliss.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: So as I'm just thinking uh drinking, we're gonna go through kind of like a visual example.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: If you've seen my reveal on Instagram, it's a similar example.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: So let's imagine that this bottle is your nervous system and it starts to fill it in a bad way, like a not a fill your cup in a good way, kind of thing.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: So imagine, oh, a little bit of water, that's when you were in mommy's tummy, she was very stressed out.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, dad abandoned you, more.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, mom was abusive, uh more.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: Uh you know, sexual trauma, a little bit more.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Uh parents got divorced, a little bit more, demands of school, a little bit more.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: It builds, you know, life a little bit more, a little bit more.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: And all of a sudden, all these unprocessed emotions fill it up in the good kind of way, and then it starts to overflow.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that overflow is your nervous system going into fight or flight.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so everyone's experience will be different because the glass can feel fill slowly fast.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: Some things will take up more space in your nervous system cup than other things.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so what happens is people will do a couple good things to take out a little bit of the water on top.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so let's take a little bit out.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't pour it on myself.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, we'll do a cold plunge, pour a little bit out.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, oh we'll go on a little walk, pour a little bit out, a somatic workout, a little bit out, which makes it manageable, right?
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: It makes your nervous system not be overflowing, but you're constantly playing this game because what life happens a little bit more.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, we overflow again.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, do it a little bit more.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, overflow.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: And you're constantly playing this game of managing, right?
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_00: Playing this game of trying to keep trying to keep the water not overflowing.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: When we could clear out the whole glass, you'd be empty.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's so much space.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: Doing the emotional work is like emptying the whole glass, pouring it out so that you have all this space and your system doesn't overflow.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: I.e., get dysregulated.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Versus the pouring little in, pouring out.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then you actually know how to process things, how to move through emotions, and you don't react to it in the first place because those events and experiences that were triggering your system, those triggers, are gone.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: So when it happens, your nervous system doesn't go danger, danger.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: When he doesn't text back, you don't go into is he leaving you?
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: When something happens in business or the launch isn't going your way, or money is like this, you're just neutral.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: When the kids want more of you, or they do something, you don't freak out because you're just at capacity.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: I can give you hundreds of examples.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: The point is when it's physical, clears it out.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: That reflex isn't there.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: So we really want to think about it.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: We we get the trigger.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: Then we get into judgment stories.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: And the all the trick built and built and built and built.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: It does not have a chance to become black, right?
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: It becomes a bit cycle building more and more taking out the last year.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: So why is there nothing?
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: Our process emotions like we touched on already, they're still playing out in the searching for safety outside the internal.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can't provide the shelter over your head, you know, things we actually need to create that.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then the third thing are the patterns.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's it, everything.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's over both of these things.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: This is so true.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: I think my number is my goal to have everyone understand like this, so people can actually understand it.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: So less than six years old are met and unmet both needs, and those negative experiences all really impacts the formation of our brain.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: Specifically our limbic system.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: So it's important to understand that there are many different types of trauma.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: It can include anything from like physical, emotional, or mental.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, it's simply three emotions.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: It can even be just sad, angry, and scared.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, three days.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: Sad, angry, and scared.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: You as a kid.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: Split.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: If you're familiar with Harry Potter, I don't think I can lead something without doing a Harry Potter reference.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: And he splits himself into like the whore crosses, right?
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: And it splits part of his soul.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's what happens to you when your nervous system gets overloaded.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: It splits and takes that and puts it into one ball of energy.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: And we need to destroy all those split parts, except we do it lovingly, not in the way, you know, to destroy evil.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: We do it with love.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: But it's the same thing in terms of like it getting split into all those pieces.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then those splits cause the symptoms, the anxiety, and all of those things.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times what I noticed is that people invalidate their trauma because it's not as bad or not as bad compared to.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe at like at six years old, you were taking care of you know a three-year-old.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: That that's not proportionate.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and so it's not just things like, yes, there was food on the table and there was this.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: It was not being nurtured, not being encouraged, being called names, being called, you know, stupid, being called whatever kind of names, humiliation, right?
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: Getting embarrassed, getting in trouble for being sick or getting hurt.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's another little one.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: I remember I was when I got sick or hurt, I was actually more scared of telling my mother than the fact that I was sick or hurt because I knew I was in big trouble.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: And none of this creates a safe environment.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: Can you imagine being sick as a kid?
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: I remember I had pneumonia when I was, I think, five or five or six.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: And the only thing I remember from having pneumonia is the fact that my mom was yelling at me and screaming at me, and I was in so much trouble.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's not safe.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: A kid is like in the hospital with pneumonia, and the safe space is not being rated.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: But people don't realize just because I, you know, you weren't hit that you don't have trauma, or because it wasn't sexual trauma, it's not trauma.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: There's so many things that people think are part of like a normal childhood that unfortunately can be traumatic.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: And what is very important is that it's not whether it's traumatic compared to something else.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: All that matters is whether that younger version of you experienced it as traumatic.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I love giving all these examples because we can then see that it's probably a lot broader than we even realize.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: And also know because you store things in your subconscious, you may not even remember the things that happened.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: I have a lot of clients who like are blackout and they actually don't know because it was so traumatic that their system put it in there so they could like forget it forever.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: So true.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: I've done somatic workouts and they help, but I would love to hear your address advice on how to address it.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what we're talking about right now, right?
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like the temporary band-aid versus getting to the root.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: In the indigenous healing paradigm, we call the split soul loss.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, exactly.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: I've also heard it called soul retrieval, but it's basically like part of you that when it's very traumatic just disappears.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: And the next thing I want to say is that two people can go through the exact same experience, but one person can be affected by it in a completely different way.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_00: So even if you had siblings growing up, you and going through the like, I don't know, your parents got divorced and you have a brother or sister, you would experience that divorce completely differently.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so I've seen people invalidate themselves just by saying, Well, like my brother was at the house and he doesn't seem to have like the same issues with mom and dad or the same things about this, it doesn't matter.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: And those so this is where we develop fears and anxieties.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_00: Fear is simply a state of mind that triggers this deep, you know, trauma and belief that has been programmed into us.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is also why when we have these fears and anxieties, you can't just like decide to change your mind about how you view a situation.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because your subconscious, your body is carrying the belief that your fear is 100% factual.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's 100% true.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: This is why, you know, people who struggle for anxiety, if you've ever been told, just be calm, just relax, there's nothing to be anxious about, how that's not helpful.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's not helpful because it the programming really like how your body's data is saying this is dangerous, this is real, this is going to happen.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's like wildly unhelpful because that kicks in.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so when our mind, you know, our subconscious takes control of how we process our environment, it reacts from that survival mode.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: And this means that it then can't process everything, and it starts to think that everything is trying to kill you, essentially.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's what the primal response thinks we're gonna die.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, we might think we're gonna be abandoned or neglected or you know, judged, or this, but when you boil that down, it's very much that feeling in your body like you're going to die.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a subconscious thing that gets then brought, you know, into your physical body.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: So even if you logically know, and I guarantee there are times you've logically known that what your body's reaction to this is not proportionate to the actual threat.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: There isn't a cheetah trying to eat you, but it feels like you're gonna die.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: And this is why.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: Your body reacts to all of these things, being like, holy crap, we aren't safe.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, this is terrifying.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: We are going to die.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is scary.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: How can I get through this moment?
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna survive.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_00: And that is why all the conscious things that you try to do don't make sense.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's actually your subconscious.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: Have you noticed the type A OCD types are more susceptible to limbic system dysfunction?
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: So many people are susceptible in different ways, Christine.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say like it's different ways that they're going to be susceptible.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not necessarily that type A OCD parts are more susceptible, it's what triggered OCD in the first place, which is like trauma and all that.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: How do we reprogram the subconscious to not react?
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_00: I guess some wisdom or tools would be helpful.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna be diving more into this more.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know if that's how you see a name.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let me take a sip of water.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: So the problem is that when your fear is triggered, you most likely are perfectly safe.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: We can probably see that, you know, we're not going to die.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, in order to release these fears, we need to let our systems know that we are still indeed safe.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so when there is that survival mode, right, this fight or flight being triggered, we aren't properly releasing the energy of fear.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what causes that buildup of energy, right?
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: That avoidance of actually looking at the fear.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: The more we feel the fear of being triggered, of those, you know, emotions, the better off we will be.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because by processing them, you prevent it from building up in the body.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, it's like saying, sweep it under the rug, sweep it under the rug, oh, pretend it's not there.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_00: And we can all see the mound under the rug.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then the gets worse and worse and worse.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it builds up over obviously many of years.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_00: So obviously, feeling safe isn't easy to do when we're in the middle of a situation that we our body is deeming as traumatic or stressful.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: It gets catapulted into that fight or flight mode or cortisol and a whole host of other things skyrocket because we're in danger.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_00: Going back to this example with the water bottle, it becomes hard because your system has way too much built up.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's clogged up.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's already at capacity.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so doing the emotional work means sitting with the parts of you that have been unprocessed, repressed, and unable to complete their experience.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_00: So that little girl, that younger virgin, is still feeling, I'll use a personal example, still feeling abandoned by dad.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: She's not going to feel better in relationships until you make her feel better.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: Not the adult you.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you complete that cycle and she feels okay, all of those abandonment, we're just using one example of that, is stored in your system, it allows it to shift.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because otherwise, you will keep secreting the hormones, the neurotransmitters, all of these biochemical reactions being in fight or flight.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_00: You need to disconnect the emotion from the memory so that the emotion can leave the body.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: The emotion is simply stored energy waiting to be released.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: And this is why um, I forget who it was that brought up somatic workouts, they feel better temporarily, maybe for an hour, but they don't get to the root.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because doing that doesn't allow that little girl to not feel abandoned anymore, or to feel safe, or because she was hit by mom or whatever it was, because mom and dad got divorced, or because there was lots of yelling going on, or whatever it was.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's why that stuff doesn't stick.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it's obviously not our fault.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, like I said earlier, we're not taught how to release emotions, but it's actually one of the most powerful things that we can do because this is what contributes to disease in the body.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_00: We often think that there's something like wrong with us and we need to be fixed.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's actually about the fact that we're whole and complete.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: There are just parts of us that are experiencing conflict that have not been resolved.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, somatic workouts do help you feel common-centered, but the anxiety comes back.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_00: And the anxiety comes back because you're not actually getting to the root of why you're anxious.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because the root of why you're anxious is not because you didn't do a hip opening exercise.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_00: The root of why you're anxious is not because you did, you know, downward dog or didn't do downward dog for 10 minutes that day.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: The root of why you're anxious is because you didn't have a you know safety for whatever happened to you when you were younger.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_00: When you get to the root, you dissolve it, that goes away.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_00: If there are subconscious or root triggers that are not remembered, do you have to remember them to release them?
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_00: Your bot, your it, Alex Ann, yeah, that's how you say name.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_00: If they're in your subconscious and you don't know how to bring them, you know, to release them, it won't happen.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's putting it there for you to survive.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_00: So until you, you know, bring them forward and/or with someone who knows how to bring them forward and rewire them, release them, your brain's not gonna allow you to access them, which is actually good because if you don't do it properly, you can also re-traumatize yourself.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do a little bit more and then I'll get to the other couple things I see in the chat.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_00: So our amygdala assigns, so amygdala is a part of our brain, assigns whether we experience something as positive or negative, pleasure or painful.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_00: So when we assign something as positive, right, our amygdala activates the parasympathetic, which is the rest and digest.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_00: So when we see something positive, wonderful, we can digest.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, this is a common thing.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_00: When it assigns it as negative or painful, like any kind of, you know, all these traumatic events, it goes into fight or flight.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is where the problem occurs.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_00: When this little part of your brain, your amygdala, perceives that negative, it activates that sympathetic response.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_00: When we do this all day, every day, or we do this so consistently, we don't actually get a chance to come down.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when you wake up in the morning, you feel this way, and then with your kids or your partner, and then your business, and then money, and then relationships, and it builds and builds and builds.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because your amygdala keeps saying, oh, negative, painful, negative, painful, watch the news, negative, painful, Instagram, negative, painful, look in the mirror, negative, painful, like, and then of course we have symptoms.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_00: So what we actually need to do is to change the way we're perceiving something, but we can't change the way we're perceiving something if our subconscious, the 95%, is right running the show.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where people like feel like they're blocked or stuck, it's because they're consciously trying to change it without working on the subconscious.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, we get like the physical symptoms, et cetera, et cetera.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_00: So not only do we get dysregulated, but we're also out of balance because of all of these negative perceptions.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_00: We look at a potential relationship.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_00: If we're anxiously attached, oh, that's gonna come up.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_00: We have issues, you know, with our parents every time, you know, the phone rings or mom calls you to talk to her.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_00: I remember that.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: I remember there were times where my mom would call and I'd just see her name on my phone, I get a full body somatic response.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'd panic even before picking up.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's just the association of mom, full body somatic response.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so imagine all these little things stacking and we can see why it's dysregulated.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you ever want to know like kind of how your nervous system is doing, look at your HRB, which is your heart rate variability.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_00: If you have an aura ring, like the one of these rings, it's one of the features.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_00: I believe Apple Health, if you have an iPhone, your health app looks at it as well, I think.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_00: Someone told me that yesterday.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: And the higher the number, the more regulated you are.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is a cool kind of way to just see where you are at in your nervous system to see how regulated you are.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_00: You want it over 100 to be like a regulated human where your system can, you know, not go on this roller coaster.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you don't need an aura ring.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just saying if you have one, it's a cool thing to look at beyond just looking at your steps.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it's also really cool to see, you know, how it compares on the weekends versus how on the work week, or you saw so-and-so that day, and it went, you know, it went all the way down, or you didn't, or you did this and it went up, and you can kind of see it in a graph.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's quite cool.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_00: But through all of that, what happens when these the stored energy sits for long enough so we get physical symptoms?
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so this will vary from person to person.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_00: There might be some people who say, like, oh, I've been struggling with stomach aches since I was little.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's one I hear a lot, or I've been anxious since I was little, or since high school, or since this.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_00: And you'll notice kind of where your system started to overflow, right?
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_00: Where that cup, where your nervous system took too much, and then your physical body started experiencing symptoms.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_00: Your physical body is always sending you feedback.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_00: Symptoms are just a feedback mechanism of the body to let you know that you have unprocessed emotions.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_00: So there's really nothing to fix, right?
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's just unbecoming of all these trapped things, and it is a feedback mechanism.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_00: All these different things will be signaling different conflicts in your body.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_00: But the thing is, we try to avoid it.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_00: We try to avoid seeing it because our amygdala wants to avoid pain and seek pleasure.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_00: So we avoid emotions.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_00: And this is like, and I could go on honestly for hours about this, but this is why like we avoid emotions.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_00: So we go to emotional eating or scrolling Instagram or binge watching TV or like all distractions that don't actually address the emotion.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then we get inflammatory reactions and all of these things that happen, and then we get frustrated.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I get it, I was there.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_00: I only speak to this because I was in that loop for 10 years.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_00: So the second we have symptoms, we assume that it's illness instead of assuming that it's feedback.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, wonderful, my body's giving feedback.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_00: And we try to find a quick fix, a band-aid, instead of actually understanding.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then we get frustrated when the quick fix doesn't work or stops working or has a whole host of side effects or other symptoms.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_00: And it's actually really magnificent to realize that your body signals exactly through your symptoms what your trauma and conflict are.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's insane.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_00: There's like hundreds and hundreds of clients.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's so cool.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: Our symptoms are not bad.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_00: Our symptoms are part of a wellness process.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_00: And like through everything I saw, I'm like, oh yeah, I could see how you know that symptom is tied to the dad.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that was mom hitting you.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that was like never being enough.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_00: That was this.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_00: All of it.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_00: Your symptoms are just letting you know of unprocessed emotional conflict in your body.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_00: And all of these things then start weighing you down, sometimes literally.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_00: One of the big things when people struggle to lose weight, and I've talked about this for two, three years now, is that the protective function.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_00: When our nervous system doesn't feel safe, it wants to protect us as much as it can.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_00: So it will hold on to weight as a protective cushion to protect us from our trauma and what we're experiencing.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_00: So these emotions can even weigh you down, literally.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_00: So let's cover some more things.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, this is so fascinating.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to come over some more fascinating things, but I just want to make sure that I've covered everything in here.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_00: Can you give some examples of the relationship between specific physical symptoms and emotional trauma?
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: So Lisa, I would go to my podcast because I could I could speak from now.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_00: I could probably speak for a week straight on every single symptom and emotional trauma, like acne, because you gave an example, is lack of self-worth and lack of self-love.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go through some more now as well, but because you asked about acne.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I get I had chronic, I don't know if I've mentioned that, but I had chronic acne for a decade.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I read you can only access the subconscious and rewire it through hypnosis.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_00: Is that something you use when helping your clients?
• 45:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Lindsay, I'll go into this a little bit more later, but I heal your nervous system via three different um angles.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_00: So hypnosis only covers one angle.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_00: There's actually three angles to the brain: there's bottom up, top down, and horizontal.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_00: And you want all three.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_00: Most people don't do all three, and then that's why they don't hit it.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay, just questions about HRV.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_00: Fascinating.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_00: So some more signs.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_00: Burnout and chronic fatigue, we talked about, sleep and not feeling rested, dizziness, fainting spells, blood sugar issues, brain fog, gut issues like bloating, constipation.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_00: Constipation is huge.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_00: If you you're constipated, you are not letting go of shit.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_00: Literally.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like literally, you have or hold on to so many emotions that your body tenses up and doesn't let go of your bowels.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_00: Very easy.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_00: Anxiety and panic, very much fear of the future, very much in that danger response because your danger, your safety was threatened.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_00: And for each person, what threatened their safety will be different.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_00: I've I've seen so many different things.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I've seen a rejection wound come from someone, and I like to give this example.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_00: She was young, and her rejection wound came from the fact that she put ketchup on her pancakes when she was at a friend's house, and everyone started making fun of her and laughing at her.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_00: And that was where she felt like deep rejection and like which caused her skin issues.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_00: We dissolved that and the skin like resolved.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_00: But it's something as basic as putting ketchup on pancakes and feeling like deeply rejected by everyone around her.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_00: So know that it can be like random stuff like that.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_00: Your job is not really to necessarily always remember it because, like I said, it will be sometimes stuck back there and you won't know until you kind of pull the thread and I find it.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_00: So a couple more things, you know, that low HRV that we talked about, high resting heart rate, frequently urinating at night, holding on to weight, like we said, as that protective cushion, not only skin stuff like acne, but eczema and psoriasis.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_00: All right, eczema is a big, big, big one.
• 47:55
  SPEAKER_00: Eczema, you have a lot of, especially anger, but a lot of like repressed emotion that the body is trying to let go of through your skin, but it can't.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, baricose veins, and then the last one I want to touch on that most people don't realize is autoimmune conditions.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_00: Autoimmune is when the body attacks itself.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_00: Why would the body attack itself to get rid of oppressed emotions?
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_00: Your body is literally trying to get rid of the emotion by attacking itself because it knows there's something in there that shouldn't be.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_00: All right, and so there's there's so many things, like I said, I maybe one day I'll write a book on it.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_00: Who knows?
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_00: PCOS resemble.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_00: So PCOS is deep abandonment.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it can be abandonment whether someone was there or not there, or whether you just felt abandonment.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_00: TMJ, that's a bunch of anger.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yeah, go, yeah, go to the podcast.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_00: Thank God you were bringing this to my awareness.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_00: You are so welcome.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_00: The more I learn to heal, the more small situations come up and how they had a big impact on me.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:04
  unknown: Yeah.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_00: We could go so many.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_00: I could go through these all day.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_00: I have lots of podcasts.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I see endometriosis as well.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: Endometriosis is like severe blame and rejection.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_00: So through all of these things, either um go to the podcast or send me a message on Instagram and I'll direct you.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_00: I do have a podcast directory as well on my website.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_00: So you could type in like PCOS and it would come up and you'd find it.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_00: So as we can see, your ability to regulate your nervous system is everything.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_00: If your nervous system is dysregulated, it will respond to things right now based on experiences of the past, which keeps you in that same loop of survival, keeps you in that, you know, fight, flight, freeze, spawn response.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then we get those, you know, biochemical reactions in our body because it's still acting like when the trauma first happened.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_00: So go back to my personal example.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_00: Your body, like my body was kept reacting to the fact that dad abandoned you, dad abandoned you, dad abandoned you.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_00: There's that little girl who thinks, dad's not there, dad's not there, dad's not there.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_00: Not enough.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_00: What and until until she feels better, until she feels whole and complete.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing else matters.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still reacting to it.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm reacting to that.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'll keep going with the personal examples.
• 50:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm also reacting to the fact that mom used to hit me.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so I'm reacting to mom used to hit me.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_00: And now I'm adding on the layer of dad not being there.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm adding on the layer, oh, mom you know is hitting me.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_00: Dad's not there.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_00: I feel very alone.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_00: I don't feel safe.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_00: My one and only parent is not a safe space.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's a lot.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_00: And like we can see how, like, just those two little examples I'm giving you from my story can just start to layer things, let alone anything else.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_00: And even just like if I were, I could pull threads on the dad abandonment mode.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's not like just at least for me, it's not just that dad wasn't there.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's like dad's not there, so am I less than?
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_00: Am I not enough?
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_00: But my dad was there for my half siblings.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_00: Why was he there for my half siblings, but not for me?
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_00: Why did he leave me and not them?
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_00: They grew up with him.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_00: And like, do you see how your little brain can start to like even within those little entries?
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_00: There's three or four different emotions within each of those threads, and each of those threads.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_00: And this is not to overwhelm you, this is just to give you, like, wow, okay, this is complex.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_00: There's all these little intricacies.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_00: And just to like really broaden your horizon and really understand your body and kind of what your little girl is going through.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_00: So we can see how this all starts to show up in your life, right?
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_00: Why we're easily dysregulated, why we spend the day in fight or flight, why we're in reaction mode, why we have low grade anxiety or fear, why we feel burned out, why we feel exhausted no matter how much we rest, why we don't have a capacity, why we're always like looking for danger, why we have you know physical symptoms, hair loss is another big one.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_00: All right, we don't have safety, hair loss, because you're not grounded, so the hair has nowhere to like anchor onto, so it comes out.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, lashing out in relationships, feeling like weighed down, feeling heavy, feeling insecure, feeling tense, all of these things.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_00: Your body doesn't lie.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_00: Your body's actually trying to tell you something.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_00: We just need to listen and have a little bit of a dictionary, a translator.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_00: So, all right, what you trying to tell me?
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna dive into what blocks safety in the nervous system.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_00: I know we're at an hour, but we're gonna keep going.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so come on with me, come on the ride, we're having fun.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_00: I see the comments, I'll get back to them.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to like try to get through as much of this as we can.
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because what happens is we don't listen to our body, and then we enter a battle with it.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what compounds and makes it kind of like even worse.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I get it.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_00: When you've had like symptoms for so long, I remember feeling like it was a battle.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_00: I remember feeling like, why the hell?
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm feeding you good food, I'm doing other things, like, why are you reacting that way?
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_00: But it only causes more conflict in the body because then it feels like it's us versus our body.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_00: So, what blocks safety, and I I've boiled it down.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we're gonna go through numbers here to make it very clear and concise for you on here.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_00: Number one is when we don't have the safe space to release, and or we feel like we have to hide.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_00: For a lot of us, we might have been told, I don't know, crying is weak.
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's a big one, to stop crying, to you know, girls don't do this or good girls don't do this, or whatever.
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_00: I remember to this day, and I can hear it like in the back of my mind.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_00: My mom, anytime I would express like a crying emotion, my mom would tell me, stop sniveling.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_00: Why are you sniveling?
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_00: I can hear it.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I clear as day.
• 54:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's not a safe space.
• 54:05
  SPEAKER_00: So not only the younger me is trying to express an emotion, there was no safe space to do so.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_00: So had to push it down.
• 54:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so you learn this, and perhaps you carry through this through adulthood.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_00: So you it's not a safe space, you just don't let emotion out, or you feel like you're too much, like you're too emotional.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then perhaps people also tell you along the way that you're too much to stop being so emotional, stop being so dramatic, stop being all these things.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_00: So then you really feel like okay.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_00: Number two thing that blocks safety in our nervous system.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_00: We're made to feel small, or we invalidate our trauma.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_00: And this is like what I said before about not thinking because it's not like a big T trauma.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, like my mom didn't hit me, or I, you know, didn't have any sexual abuse or sexual assault.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_00: So like I don't have trauma.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_00: But I've given you so many examples where like there's other little things that just because they are different does not mean that they weren't intense for that younger version.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_00: But I've seen so many people not actually validate that trauma, that little girl, and this doesn't allow them to then feel safety.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_00: All right, thing number three block safeties were only good until and so we avoid the triggers, which only causes hypervigilance.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_00: When we avoid triggers, what happens to our system is it goes into tense hypervigilance.
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, no, avoid here.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, no avoid, no avoid, and we try to get into the little box, and if we can if we can control everything, we'll be okay.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_00: But your system doesn't actually feel safe.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_00: Your system is on alert.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_00: Scanning, avoid, avoid triggers, avoid, avoid, avoid the danger.
• 55:55
  SPEAKER_00: And we already know now like why this happens, but it doesn't change the fact that it keeps us in that loop.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is bringing like number four, right?
• 56:09
  SPEAKER_00: When we only try to regulate our nervous system on the weekend, it's not enough.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's like only brushing your teeth on the weekend to catch up from the week, or only going to the bathroom on the weekend to catch up from the week.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_00: But we see how throughout our days everything is stacking, right?
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so by the time we're up here, I'm gonna use the example on weekends because I know there's a TikTok trend about parasympathetic days, you actually can't come all the way down to relax.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_00: There isn't enough time.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_00: There isn't enough like actual space for everything that's you know made your system because it's not just what went on Monday to Friday, it's what's gone on from in the womb until now, until this moment.
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_00: How can you possibly, possibly come down from all of that just by resting or lying down on the weekends?
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually physically impossible.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I say this because you know, so many people come to me.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_00: I've been resting, I've been slowing down, I've been doing this.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why am I still getting reacted?
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I still getting triggered?
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_00: And it's because um go back to the abandonment movement, that little girl is still triggering in, right?
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_00: So we actually don't need all of these practices, or we don't need like 500 of them to feel calm.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_00: Talking a lot, so we can dunk our face in the ice water, we can do the cold plunge, but if we get triggered an hour later, it's because oh, I know that there's some deeper subconscious stuff still going on.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_00: I know there's actually a lack of safety.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_00: I know, oh, okay, I'm not getting to the root.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_00: And the next block, it's like one of the last ones, is looking for safety outside of you.
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_00: This blocks so many people from having safety.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_00: Safety is not something that only happens when you are in the quote unquote perfect environment.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where people say that they are in a dysregulating environment, and like that's what's making them so they can't heal because their environment is dysregulating.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_00: When you have safety, it doesn't matter what's going on around you, you're good, you're just safe no matter what.
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I say this from experience, from being through like if whatever example you could give me, I could give you either a personal example or one from a client I I've had that covers any kind of environment or just regulating situation there is.
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's an internal thing.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_00: But when we're looking for it outside of us, we can't possibly control everything outside.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_00: We can't put it in other person, we can't put it in environment.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_00: It has to come from within.
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_00: But it can't come from within if we have all of these unprocessed emotions that we're not safe.
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why your system looks for it outside, because it's like not safe, not safe, not safe.
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna look for it outside to try to bring in safety.
• 59:30
  SPEAKER_00: But the thing is that we can't count on the outside.
• 59:33
  SPEAKER_00: Environments change, people change, people leave, right?
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_00: This is also why we get anxiously attached.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_00: We're looking for the safety outside because we don't have safety inside.
• 59:43
  SPEAKER_00: All of these things.
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_00: But that doesn't give you a consistent nervous system.
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_00: Versus if you have safety and you can have it internally, it doesn't matter what's going on.
• 59:52
  SPEAKER_00: You just walk around, you're like, I'm good, I'm safe.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_00: That one is a real eye-opener.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, Lisa.
• 1:00:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_00: Which brings me to my last kind of block, if you will.
• 1:00:08
  SPEAKER_00: I use block in quotations because it's really just what prevents it.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_00: Is people normalize being dysregulated.
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_00: And unfortunately, a lot of women are dysregulated.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_00: I would say most women are dysregulated or if not severely dysregulated.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_00: We walk around every day in a dysregulated environment and people have normalized being dysregulated.
• 1:00:31
  SPEAKER_00: Though it's common, it's not normal.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so when we see everyone else, like, oh, everyone's dysregulated.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_00: So then I should be, right?
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, this is normal because everyone else is dysregulated.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, no, that just points to the fact that unfortunately there's a lot of women who are dysregulated.
• 1:00:50
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, and men too, but I work with mainly women.
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so be careful where you normalize something, like, oh, so and so acts like this, and this person acts like this, so it's normal.
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I've seen this with anything from health symptoms, like it's normal to have bloating, it's normal to have PMS, it's normal to have these symptoms.
• 1:01:11
  SPEAKER_00: All like many women deal with this.
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_00: Just because many women do doesn't mean the fact that posts like to the epidemic we have of dysregulation.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, a lot of women are anxious in relationships.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_00: They freak out if they don't get a text back right away.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_00: They're they operate like this, they're scanning where they are, like they engage in all these behaviors.
• 1:01:29
  SPEAKER_00: Common does not mean normal.
• 1:01:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so we really need to dissolve all of these things, like I just talked about, that are preventing safety before we create it.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_00: We'll get to some of the comments.
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_00: I have nieces and nephews dealing with a lot of trauma.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_00: How young should we start them in healing?
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_00: So you can help like little kids, like two, three years old, process emotions.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_00: One day I will have some sort of thing about helping kids process it's in the works.
• 1:02:03
  SPEAKER_00: It just feels very big.
• 1:02:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you're not maybe doing like trauma release, but you can encourage them and help them process emotions.
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_00: And the biggest thing I would say, I mean, Joanne, for you or anyone else, is let a child express their emotion is like the biggest, most helpful thing you can do.
• 1:02:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what triggers commitment issues or fear of being loved, fear of being in a relationship?
• 1:02:29
  SPEAKER_00: You it's not safe.
• 1:02:31
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason it's not safe could be neglect, abandonment, blah, blah, blah.
• 1:02:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not safe.
• 1:02:37
  SPEAKER_00: But like for you individually, I have to like, you know, work with you to figure out what happened to you when you were young.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, moving on.
• 1:02:46
  SPEAKER_00: So the reason that most people don't get a safe regulated system is that they're focused on trying to create it without addressing what's preventing it.
• 1:02:58
  unknown: Right.
• 1:02:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so this starts to feel like a very uphill battle.
• 1:03:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's like trying to cover up a bad tasting cake by slapping some frosting on it.
• 1:03:06
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't hide the taste of the cake.
• 1:03:08
  SPEAKER_00: All you're doing is putting the frosting parts, cold plunging, somatic workout, or like yoga poses, slowing down, right?
• 1:03:16
  SPEAKER_00: But it doesn't change the cake.
• 1:03:19
  SPEAKER_00: So you're we're doing things to try to create in or maintain, but what's preventing it in the first place?
• 1:03:25
  SPEAKER_00: What's filling up our water bottle of not good things?
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_00: So the solution is we have to look at those things that are making the cake taste bad or filling up our cup.
• 1:03:37
  SPEAKER_00: And just to reiterate, that's the unprocessed emotions that are still playing out, the searching for safety outside of you, and those patterns in your subconscious that keep you in the same loops.
• 1:03:50
  SPEAKER_00: For example, when you're anxiously attached, you tend to seek out avoidant people, or you tend to have micromanaging kind of like you want to control situations a lot, or like all these little things that we talked about, I won't reiterate all of them, but all of these things.
• 1:04:07
  SPEAKER_00: So your nervous system needs to feel safe to expand.
• 1:04:12
  SPEAKER_00: So even when expansion are good things, it needs to feel safe.
• 1:04:17
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:04:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's not only feeling safe to let go of that, but it's also feeling safe to expand even when there's good stuff going on.
• 1:04:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I really want to add in this layer because people don't realize it's not only having safety to get rid of symptoms and to not be anxious to get you into this place, but it's also having safety to grow and expand.
• 1:04:40
  SPEAKER_00: So that, you know, when you do, for example, meet an amazing partner, you can receive it.
• 1:04:46
  SPEAKER_00: But if that doesn't, if something good doesn't feel safe because our system, our nervous system is used to something else, we're not going to be able to receive it.
• 1:04:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll give a per go back to a personal example.
• 1:04:59
  SPEAKER_00: With all like my dad abandonment wounds, severe anxious attachment.
• 1:05:04
  SPEAKER_00: I would actually, it doesn't feel safe to have someone, you know, who's solid, who's emotionally available, who's all these things.
• 1:05:13
  SPEAKER_00: Your system can be like, what's wrong?
• 1:05:15
  SPEAKER_00: It actually doesn't know how to respond to safe environments.
• 1:05:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you've been unsafe for so long, you're actually more comfortable with chaos.
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's a big one.
• 1:05:27
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not only getting to the point where like we feel good, but it's like, okay, why can't I break the ceiling?
• 1:05:33
  SPEAKER_00: Why can't I, you know, grow in this area or have the relationship or have the health or have the business or the money or the this, because it needs to feel safe to also expand.
• 1:05:41
  SPEAKER_00: But if you've been living in chaos, then none of that is going to feel safe.
• 1:05:45
  SPEAKER_00: Your system will freak out, even though they are good things.
• 1:05:50
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:05:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so safety is not just about, you know, feeling good.
• 1:05:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's about allowing you to also expand.
• 1:05:57
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 1:05:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so by being in this kind of like prevention mode, it Clears you out for more.
• 1:06:01
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 1:06:02
  SPEAKER_00: You remain chill, you receive faster, life feels better, businesses are better, relationships better, everything kind of just flourishes.
• 1:06:10
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're familiar, if you've ever, you know, taken psych, we have Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
• 1:06:16
  SPEAKER_00: You can Google it later if you want.
• 1:06:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a triangle.
• 1:06:19
  SPEAKER_00: Safety is like right there at the bottom.
• 1:06:22
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot have anything else if there's no safety.
• 1:06:24
  SPEAKER_00: It is an actual basic human need.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_00: But it's not just the safety of like roof over our head, like the physical safety of like food in our mouths and roof over our heads.
• 1:06:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's the emotional safety in our bodies.
• 1:06:36
  SPEAKER_00: And this is like a thing that we've been missing.
• 1:06:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, luckily, the world's come a long way.
• 1:06:41
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people, you know, we have so much technology and all this.
• 1:06:43
  SPEAKER_00: We have a lot of like the physical roof and food, though.
• 1:06:46
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, if that's threatened, that will also contribute to lack of safety.
• 1:06:50
  SPEAKER_00: But it's the deep like emotional safety that we really need to work on as a whole, as a collective.
• 1:06:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to talk about the first two steps to start healing your nervous system right now.
• 1:07:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then I will get to the comments.
• 1:07:09
  SPEAKER_00: So this might sound simple.
• 1:07:15
  SPEAKER_00: Number one is admitting that you actually have unprocessed trauma and emotions.
• 1:07:21
  SPEAKER_00: This is big.
• 1:07:23
  SPEAKER_00: I would say 90% of people get stuck in either step one or two.
• 1:07:32
  SPEAKER_00: Most people.
• 1:07:36
  SPEAKER_00: Admitting that you have them is step number one.
• 1:07:39
  SPEAKER_00: Just being honest.
• 1:07:42
  SPEAKER_00: All right, I had some stuff going on.
• 1:07:44
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's not this or like it's not compared to that, but you're gonna get rid of that language.
• 1:07:48
  SPEAKER_00: And we're just gonna be like, huh.
• 1:07:50
  SPEAKER_00: I probably have some unprocessed emotions sometime from when I was born until now.
• 1:07:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like let's just be honest.
• 1:08:00
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so that's like step number one.
• 1:08:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because I, you know, if you ever think about um, you know, the the 12-step program for or uh is not denial, like not being in denial, not being in denial of your emotions and trauma.
• 1:08:15
  SPEAKER_00: Number one.
• 1:08:17
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, this is again where people get stuck, is taking responsibility for healing those parts.
• 1:08:27
  SPEAKER_00: This sounds simple, but I cannot tell you how many people I've watched be in the same loops, situations, not only for months, but for years, because they can't take the first step, which is taking the responsibility for them.
• 1:08:44
  SPEAKER_00: And people, you know, it can come at me, but I I've been through it all.
• 1:08:48
  SPEAKER_00: You can throw whatever, and I've probably been through it, and I get it.
• 1:08:53
  SPEAKER_00: But no matter what, no matter it doesn't matter what anyone did to me, my mom, my dad, like the sexual, nothing, nothing, it's not them.
• 1:09:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's my job.
• 1:09:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's my job to take the responsibility to release it.
• 1:09:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because honestly, me not releasing it doesn't do anything for them.
• 1:09:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the only one that is like gonna benefit from that.
• 1:09:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, you know, benefit the the family, like the people around you, but you get what I mean.
• 1:09:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's just it's on me.
• 1:09:17
  SPEAKER_00: So you actually have to decide, all right, I'm like going to look at those parts.
• 1:09:22
  SPEAKER_00: Those maybe those things I've been sweeping under the rug, those things I've been kind of avoiding.
• 1:09:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't really want to think about the fact that my dad abandoned me, blah, blah, blah.
• 1:09:31
  SPEAKER_00: All right, the only reason I like have come all this way is because I was willing to open the box.
• 1:09:37
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what's so interesting?
• 1:09:39
  SPEAKER_00: I can't tell you how many people have come to me and being like, that's it, like that's what I was avoiding.
• 1:09:44
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't that bad.
• 1:09:45
  SPEAKER_00: It was actually kind of fun.
• 1:09:46
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't like not that bad, not that bad.
• 1:09:50
  SPEAKER_00: Right, because I guarantee those things that trigger you right now, you know, we've all experienced a trigger before, right?
• 1:09:59
  SPEAKER_00: You get triggered and you have a somatic response, and you're like, Oh, this is uncomfortable.
• 1:10:03
  SPEAKER_00: I push it down.
• 1:10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Processing it is like four or five more seconds of that, and squeezing all the toothpaste out of the tube so that your body can be emptied out.
• 1:10:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's all it is.
• 1:10:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's a few more seconds of that.
• 1:10:18
  SPEAKER_00: But I guarantee every time you get triggered, you experience a few more seconds, a few more seconds, and you experience it over and over again.
• 1:10:24
  SPEAKER_00: If we were just go through it once, we'd be good.
• 1:10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 1:10:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so it sounds simple, but admitting that you have things to release and then taking the responsibility of like, all right, though they may have done things to me, though these things might have happened to me, A, well, A, they don't define you, and B, I'm gonna take it on me to release them.
• 1:10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because I can tell you, if I was waiting for my mom to like heal my nervous system, I would still be where I was.
• 1:11:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna get to the questions in a minute.
• 1:11:05
  SPEAKER_00: So, which brings me to safety.
• 1:11:09
  SPEAKER_00: So, this is what we do inside safety.
• 1:11:12
  SPEAKER_00: In safety, we go through the four-step process that I have used with hundreds of clients to go from dysregulated to calm and relax as your baseline.
• 1:11:20
  SPEAKER_00: All right, first we look at what's preventing you from feeling regulated in the first place.
• 1:11:25
  SPEAKER_00: Then we break you out of the cycle so that what others say and do wash over you.
• 1:11:30
  SPEAKER_00: We're all over freaking out when we see mom saying other thing, or whatever it is for you.
• 1:11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Then we release the lack of trust that keeps your system looking for danger.
• 1:11:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then we expand your nervous system to exist in a calm and relaxed state so that you are someone who is light and free and calm and joy and blissful.
• 1:11:49
  unknown: Right?
• 1:11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because you only need these four things.
• 1:11:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 1:11:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a workout to get dysregulated the next day or an hour later.
• 1:12:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's these four things.
• 1:12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Four steps, easy, simple process.
• 1:12:06
  SPEAKER_00: And it works because when you dissolve the things that are preventing safety, whatever it is that happened to you, and you embody a system that's calm and relaxed, right?
• 1:12:14
  SPEAKER_00: We're building trust, we're building all these things, you're set.
• 1:12:19
  SPEAKER_00: You have safety internally, and we're bringing through those parts that have been hidden or suppressed so that you can heal, right?
• 1:12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Revealing and fully processing the wounds, the emotions that your conscious mind is thrown back there so that you can now be safe.
• 1:12:33
  SPEAKER_00: So whether you find yourself triggered or regularly feeling overwhelmed, life, business, relationship, we're getting to the root of that safety.
• 1:12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Safety is the foundation for everything else.
• 1:12:43
  SPEAKER_00: So by dissolving all of that trauma, right?
• 1:12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Those four, not four, three or more emotions.
• 1:12:48
  SPEAKER_00: There we go.
• 1:12:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's the four steps, three more emotions.
• 1:12:51
  SPEAKER_00: We anchor that in.
• 1:12:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I think I saw a question about what I how I do it or how it's different.
• 1:12:57
  SPEAKER_00: But we go through in three different areas of the brain, right?
• 1:13:01
  SPEAKER_00: So we go bottom up, which uses outside your conscious awareness, right?
• 1:13:05
  SPEAKER_00: It uses your limbic system.
• 1:13:07
  SPEAKER_00: And you might be familiar with this before, like um anything that uses the body, right, is bottom up.
• 1:13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Top down is anything that uses the mind.
• 1:13:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then we have horizontal, which works across both hemispheres of the brain via bilateral stimulation.
• 1:13:24
  SPEAKER_00: So most things only do them bottom up, top-down, or horizontal.
• 1:13:30
  SPEAKER_00: They do not do all three, and they do not do all three at the same time.
• 1:13:34
  SPEAKER_00: So you might have done horizontal, which is like EMDR, or you might have done top-down, which is talk therapy.
• 1:13:41
  SPEAKER_00: And this is also why talk therapy, people can go to talk therapy for 10 years for the same issue, because it doesn't actually release the emotion from your system, from your body.
• 1:13:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then we have bottom up.
• 1:13:51
  SPEAKER_00: So we do all three at the same time.
• 1:13:55
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why sometimes things don't completely work for you, because you're not doing all three at the same time, which is why I've integrated all three into my method and the four steps.
• 1:14:05
  SPEAKER_00: So this is why this work is so powerful because it releases that stuck energy trauma.
• 1:14:10
  SPEAKER_00: So the nervous system completes the cycle.
• 1:14:12
  SPEAKER_00: And when it reaches completion, you're no longer triggered and the body can enter a state of safety.
• 1:14:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go through the questions.
• 1:14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Can you please explain more of the process you do and how you do it?
• 1:14:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I just did it's the three ways.
• 1:14:31
  SPEAKER_00: How do you go about figuring out how someone's system is dysregulated when they have no memories?
• 1:14:35
  SPEAKER_00: I've done so much work over the years, tons of modalities, uh, and I experienced all of what you're talking about.
• 1:14:40
  SPEAKER_00: So, like I said, I'm not sure if you hear earlier stuff, but you will push it into your subconscious and you won't remember because your conscious mind deems it as too painful.
• 1:14:49
  SPEAKER_00: So you won't be able to find it.
• 1:14:52
  SPEAKER_00: I've worked on myself for years, including deep shadow work, but I can't get to the bottom of it.
• 1:14:56
  SPEAKER_00: So shadow work doesn't actually release the emotion.
• 1:14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Shadow work is like discovering things through journaling or reflecting.
• 1:15:03
  SPEAKER_00: Shadow work doesn't release the emotion from your system.
• 1:15:07
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why um you're experiencing that.
• 1:15:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um okay.
• 1:15:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you have any questions, just send me a message on Instagram.
• 1:15:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, with that being said, I'm so glad that it was helpful.
• 1:15:26
  SPEAKER_00: We got to the bottom, we cut we covered a lot, and yeah, have a beautiful rest of your day.
• 1:15:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad to connect with so many new people, but also to see so many familiar faces.
• 1:15:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's been so much fun, and I will talk to you soon.
• 1:15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.
• 1:15:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're so welcome.
• 1:15:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad.