Latest / The Favourite Self Podcast / 32. How to Declutter Your Home and Reduce Mental Load with Brittnei Gaudio

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32. How to Declutter Your Home and Reduce Mental Load with Brittnei Gaudio · The Favourite Self Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: All that to say is every house has chaos.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Every single house.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: And if it doesn't, it's because they have a lot of paid support.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they have nannies who do a lot of those jobs for them.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they have assistants who support with some of that piece.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: So success doesn't necessarily mean that your habits all tighten up and you're just got it all together.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: It just means that either you paid for more support or you're hiding it better.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Favorite Self podcast.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: I like to think of it not as your future self or your best self, but your favorite self.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: My favorite self that just makes me feel the truest version of me.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: What lights your favorite self on fire?
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Carly Ottaway, founder, author, storyteller, and a woman who learned that building a successful life means nothing if it doesn't feel like yours.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: This podcast is for women who are building businesses, raising families, leading movements, and asking themselves, is this it or is there more available to me?
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: This is your invitation to come back to yourself.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: Let's dig in.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: Hello and welcome back to the Favorite Self podcast.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: I am so excited about today's guest because this is perfect timing for me.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: I was just saying before we hit record, I have been deep in decluttering and purging.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, my like former type A, I like to say former type A side is just obsessed with an organized space.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm super excited to welcome professional organizer and decluttering coach Brittany to the podcast today.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, Britt.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, thanks for having me.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, we've been talking about this for a little while now, and I feel like this is perfect timing.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so aware of how much your physical environment impacts your energy and the way that you show up.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so when we're talking about favorite self and bringing your favorite self energy, of course, we need to have this conversation.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: And to start, I would love to actually dive into your story and really going back to your decision to leave corporate because I always love these stories.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: And ultimately, what pulled you into this work?
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, yes.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I go all the way back to the beginning because I have always been someone who's been deeply impacted by my environment.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, like my mom will tell stories of me like lining up my books from biggest to smallest and like lining up the remotes uh from biggest to smallest.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: I think that that is just like something inherently in me.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I think to some degree, some people all people are, but I do believe some people are more heightened than others, especially in different life stages, you see it come out.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I climbed the top of the corporate ladder.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: I got the executive role that I had been, you know, working for.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I had a fiery burnout, like real, real burnout.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I was just tired of running other people's businesses.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: I was tired of giving 135% to something that ultimately didn't wasn't necessarily doing any good, but also it was like benefiting people who weren't grateful.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: And it was just like an environment where I just didn't feel like there was anything positive coming out of it.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it was such a hard thing to come to because I had spent my entire career defining myself by my job.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: I worked so hard, I missed so many holidays, I traveled so much.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, everyone just knew me as someone who worked and gave everything I had to work.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so to pivot and leave without a backup, which was like totally uncharacteristic of me, and to then turn to being an entrepreneur, but also in a service industry, felt like very strange.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like it felt like a total detour.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I think everyone around me for a while was like, what is up with her?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is going on?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: But to me, it made a lot of sense because I was kind of coming out of that sense of burnout, going towards the things that made me happy, where I felt like I could have a really strong impact, where I felt like my skills could be appreciated.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And ultimately, and I say this to my clients all the time, all the time, I went to where my zone of genius is so that other people can pour into their zone of genius.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of like a short/slash not short way of kind of wrapping it all up in terms of how we got here.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love it.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like whenever I'm going through a big pivotal time like that, where you know, shifting into a whole new chapter, I immediately go to my space and I am either purging and decluttering or rearranging furniture or change like redecorating in some way.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: Cause I think, again, it's kind of like the vision board part of the manifestation process, like creating the environment that's supporting the identity of who you're stepping into is so important and and is like a hack almost.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I just went through actually a really transitional declutter because I finally, we finally cleared out like our cold cellar and at the storage in our basement and officially got rid of like all the baby stuff, like all the baby, all the old toys, an old swing that I didn't know we had, like so many things.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: And that that chapter has been, you know, hypothetically closed for a while, but it felt like an official close.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'd love to hear from your perspective, like with all the different homes and the different clients that you've worked with.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: I know hundreds of homes and clients.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: What have you learned about this connection between our physical space and how we feel?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: So, oh man, I love how you mentioned that like transitional piece of getting rid of that season because there's so much emotion wrapped up in our stuff.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's why our physical environment can impact us so much.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: We are conditioned in such a way that I think we also tell ourselves a lot of stories about what our space is saying about us.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: And especially as women, especially as moms, we let it say that we're either a good mom, a good partner, a good person, like a good person.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: If our home is tidy and organized and guest ready and you can take a photo and a video in it.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I think the story that we tell ourselves is really important and has a huge impact on us, whether we know it or not.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's not as conscious for us.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: But then also just our nervous system.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: So the one thing I'm I'm constantly explaining to clients is like, I want you to imagine that everything in your home is creating some type of noise.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: So that could be a like shrieking siren to like a dull hum.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the stuff on the walls, on the surfaces, on the floors, the stuff peeking out of cupboard, everything in our home.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: And one by one, maybe not so crazy.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the shrieking sirens, yes, it could get a little annoying, but all together, it's like a chorus of chaos in our brain.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know about you, but I'm very easily overstimulated.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: And to think of all of those things creating noise, but then all of the humans creating the noise and the needs and the wants, and you having your own needs and wants and things that you need to get through, your partner does.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you have pets, like your nervous system is totally of whack now.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: And you can't always control the humans, you can't always control the pets, but what you can control is your physical environment.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so when someone's coming to me and they're like, I just usually I get people after like a big fight or they've had a total meltdown, or they've started to throw things at their window and front door, being like, I just need to leave.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: So usually they're coming to me almost when it's too late.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but it's because they find like that noise got too much.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we we fail to recognize that nervous system link and then also that like emotional story.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and either convince ourselves it's something else or just convince ourselves it's not there.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Uh that I'm constantly trying to get people to understand because it's such a controllable, fixable thing.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that analogy around the overstimulation and the sound, because as someone very sensitive to sound, that makes total sense to me.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I think of, you know, my husband knows like when he can see that I'm overstimulated, and the best thing that him and the kids will do is like take a minute to tidy the main floor and like clear the clutter off the kitchen counter.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh my gosh, the feeling I get, the exhale I have when the kitchen counter is clear.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: I just literally, even if I'm taking the stack of things and putting it somewhere else where it's tucked away, at least I have that.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: It feels like I have so much more breathing room.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's important to mention there's a difference between the aesthetic of it and the feeling of it, because we are also in this era and have been in this era where there's so much pressure because we are constantly seeing these like perfect homes online and we're so exposed to that, which is not normal.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like you grew up, remember growing up in the 90s, you would not see, I mean, you saw your friends' houses and they had ugly plaid couches.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: 1000%.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: Such a different time.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I also like that's my rabbit hole of getting stuck on all the organization videos.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: But can you speak a little bit to that and how what are actually?
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a very I love my rituals.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a Scorpio moon.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you're into astrology, and I have my rituals for ways to keep the house tidy and manageable so that I don't hit that breaking point and then, you know, doesn't mean I don't have my meltdowns.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: What are some of your favorite rituals and how can you create more of this like easy to tidy home versus this like perfect aesthetic one?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love that so much.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: So, yes, the aesthetic rabbit hole is real.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: And what I do think in you, like I heard you say, like, but I still go down, like, and I I'm still drawn to it.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: And you're drawn to it because it's like a dopamine hit.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Your brain wants to see order, it wants to see ease, it wants to see function.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: The challenge I have with that is that when it's not accessible for you in your home, and then that story starts to spiral into like, well, I can never have that or it must be nice for them or whatever.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm constantly trying to help you understand, like, the goal is actually never perfectly tidy because it's just not feasible, especially if you if you share a space with another human, with little humans, with pets, it's just not possible to have a perfectly tidy home.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you do, it's like for five minutes and then someone breathes and all of a sudden it's it's sun done.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: The goal is always easy to tidy.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: And the difference there is that everything has a home, and that you can the kind of rule of thumb I try to give is like you can reset your space, any space, in under 15 minutes.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: If you cannot do that, you have too much stuff, plain and simple.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: You have too much stuff and you don't have the right systems established in that space.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so anytime I'm working with a client, you know, maybe it's a couple of hours in a particular zone, but that goal is after I leave that you can now reset that space daily under 15 minutes.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not assuming that the sink isn't gonna fill back up or the counter is not going to get clogged again when the kids come home.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: I can't, I can't solve for real life, but I can create that ease that you're looking for.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: And in terms of those rituals, I would say there's like the everyday things and then like the kind of the ongoing thing.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: So the everyday thing is what I call the daily reset.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: So this is actually a tool I give to all my clients as a maintenance piece, but essentially it's like this habit that we take on as a family to reset our home for 15 minutes each day.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: And that becomes a habit and it becomes expected by everyone in the home so that the person who's initiating it isn't nagging and reminding and begging and negotiating every single day because it's just something that's become a habit.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it only becomes that way because you do it at the same time every day.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone has their zone and you can make it fun.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like you can throw on a fun song.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: I I have clients who like the kids make the playlist, or they throw one of those disco colorful lights on the kitchen counter, or whatever you need to do to like add a little zhuzh to it.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: But the idea is that it happens every day.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: So you don't bring today's chaos into tomorrow.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it's those key zones that everyone touches.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: So the kitchen, typically an entryway or mud room, a living room or playroom, uh the main bathroom where everyone's coming through.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: And again, it should be one zone per person.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I say if they can walk, they can contribute.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: So even like you start that habit really young, uh, and then it just becomes something.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: So you can do that.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: I say, like, find the best time of day for your family.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: So that could be after dinner, it could be right before dinner, it could be right before bed.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, families who have different sports and extracurriculars, you may just need to get creative as to when that is, but it does have to happen every day.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I get a lot of resistance because they're like, no way can that happen every day.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I can bet if I put a video camera in your home, I can find a 15-minute window where everyone's home.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe there's not always productive activities happening, but we can find it.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and 15 minutes flies by.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the biggest thing I recommend.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: And it really, in addition to becoming this habit, especially with your kids, like it becomes a part of the family culture.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like we are the type of family that does a reset so that we can start our day feeling fresh.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, bringing your family into the values behind it and the feeling behind it, I think, is so important.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: And it instills that in them as well.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: I I I've always loved that feeling of like closing down the kitchen.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: I used to work in restaurants.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, I like to get the dishes out of the sink.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't mean that it's not the odd time when I'm like overwhelmed or got pulled into something, but I know that that's temporary and that I'll get back on track because I have the system for it.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: And it truly is a game changer.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I notice it like if I'm starting my day with a full sink of dishes from last night, it it does not start the same way.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: It definitely exit right from the beginning.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I think there's a lot to say around um, there's actually a book called uh How to Keep House While Drowning.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's specifically around motherhood and neurodivergence and and that idea that you're just drowning in your home and and you know what to do, but you can't do it.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a phenomenal book.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but one thing that she's reframed that I'm that I'm constantly helping clients reframe is this idea around like showing your future self kindness.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: So by doing these tasks now, you're being kind to your future self.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: So that idea of like, it doesn't feel good to come down in the morning and have your sink full.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't feel good to walk into the bathroom and have last night's toothbrushes and toothpaste everywhere, or the towels on the floor, yesterday's clothes from your kids like a pack to their bedroom as they could as they got ready for bed the night before.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: So showing your future self-kindness, I think is a really helpful reframe.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: And the idea that like care tasks or caring for your home is like morally neutral, is another big piece.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: So the idea that like these are just things that need to be done, but it doesn't say anything about you as a human.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's just the responsibilities of being a human, I think is a really big piece because when we don't reset our home daily, clutter invites clutter.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: So as soon as a drop on the kitchen counter starts, everyone else is invited to drop on the kitchen counter.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so if we aren't doing that daily reset, things are compounding day over day and all of a sudden it's become overwhelming.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: You can't reset it in 15 minutes.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's now full weekend activity.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, things have spiled out of control.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so just bringing it back to showing your future self-kindness and and doing those tasks that are necessary as a human that don't necessarily make you a good or bad one.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not even like a far-off future self, it's literally tomorrow's self, which, you know, is you get to reap the benefits, the rewards so quickly.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: And the dopamine hit is so real.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like when I was speaking about decluttering our cold cellar, the amount of times afterwards I went and opened the door and walked into the cold cellar and looked around and like the dopamine hit I get from that, you know.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: And right now, actually, we're tackling the pantry and we're doing it a bit differently.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: The cold cellar was like a one day like dive in and it was overwhelming.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna lie.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: The pantry, we've been breaking up and like my husband and I are doing it together and doing like a half hour here, 45 minutes there.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, realizing how much you can accomplish also in that amount of time.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: And you get to see the momentum building.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: So then you're excited.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I actually part of me was like, I want to get it all done so that I get the dopamine hit of walking by the pantry, but I'm motivated now that I've started, and I just like the idea of starting felt so overwhelming.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: But I was like, okay, if we do this for 30 minutes, we'll just see what we get done.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, it's like the task, um, the habit stocking.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's funny.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: I just got a text uh this morning from a client and we did her garage last week.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: And she texted me and she was like, I'm still just walking into my garage and looking around.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, that makes me so happy.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it also goes to show you that whether or not you woke up every morning and thought about your cold cellar or this client thought about their garage, it was weighing on you.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: So going back to like your physical space impacting you, like it's way back there, sure.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Some days.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Some days it's more present.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you needed to go into that space and you couldn't find what you were looking for or whatever that story is, but it's there.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: And we once we deal with it, we can just put it down.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and the weight of that is actually much heavier than we could have anticipated.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I really like that idea around building momentum and not relying on motivation.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's huge.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, a lot of folks who struggle with ADHD, it's that starting piece uh that is particularly hard.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but then you'll see all those memes, right?
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: Where like they've now torn apart their whole pantry and now they're sitting in it and then like, I don't, I don't know how it's gonna get back.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what to do now.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: The motivation has worn off.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so really smart.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: Building that momentum, keeping it manageable, using timers is huge, or like one bin at a time, one shelf at a time can kind of make it still feel manageable and still keep the motivation and the momentum building is a big one.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, especially when you're it's like one of 50,000 things you have to do in a day.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes you feel like as an adult, I feel like all I do is it load it unload the dishwasher all day.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: Cyclical tasks are painful, right?
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, and I love bringing in some more energy to it and making it part of making it more like exciting and and exactly like a dance party in the kitchen is my jam, like whatever we can do to bring up the energy.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'd love to get a little deeper here and share about where some of these maybe old wounds and patterns and behaviors can be rooted because I think we know that we can be so emotionally connected to our stuff or our routines or um just like our kind of standard of living ultimately, because that's how we grew up.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe we did the opposite.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe we grew up in a chaotic environment.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: So we went so the opposite.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: I can relate to that in terms of just the feeling of like wanting zero clutter and um growing up in spaces that had so much stuff.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: And so now I like I I'm feel like I've swung the opposite way where I like to be very minimal and and so I feel that in my nervous system.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'd love to hear your own experience with that as you're open to sharing and just anything else you could share anecdotally from client experiences too, of course, protecting anyone's privacy of of you know the maybe to maybe if it's permission giving for other people who have lived through these experiences and are are you know feeling guilty or shameful around how they're living and just helping them understand where it comes from.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: There's so many layers here.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I see like literally it all play out in different client experiences.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: My own experience, I would say, if we really boil it down, like I had a really chaotic childhood.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: I had teenage parents, shared custody, visitations at grandparents and not at homes, uh, because the environments weren't always safe.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so for me, I don't actually remember any of the homes I'd being in to be messy or cluttered.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think it really came down to that.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: It was about control.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: It is about like, you know, everything else is out of my control.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: Everything else feels really chaotic.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, being able to like hone in on my zone.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: My space, I think, is where kind of those tendencies started.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also like the eldest firstborn daughter, like all of I'm like the typical um persona when it comes to that.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: And also Virgo, like couldn't couldn't be more textbook of um of how I've panned out.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: But this is why we need Virgos in our lives.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, you do.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: You do need Virgos.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, even though it can be a pain in the butt.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that was it came down to it.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: And even still, I find that play out in my own relationships and with my kids.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's like when it feels out of control, I live with two ADHD brains.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes I can feel like, oh my goodness, like I can't keep up.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm just trying to like maintain some type of control, some type of order.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel that all come back up.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, it's definitely a control thing for me.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: So yes, it supports my nervous system.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, it's where I feel safest.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I also need to recognize that like I now share space and that I sometimes need to release some of that control.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: But when it comes to our clients, often I see folks like kind of what you said, either they grew up in a really chaotic environment and they weren't taught how to maintain their house, how to maintain inventory, how to be reasonable that what comes into the house, what leaves the house, like that was never modeled to them.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and so now they don't know how to do that in their own home.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: And usually they married someone who does, and so there's now a lot of conflict around what to do.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but there's a lot of dynamics when it comes to relationships around expecting the female to be the better at it.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: So when it plays out that the female is disorganized or in a uh heterosexual relationship, obviously, um, that the that the female is disorganized and and not as good at this, or is in fact the problem when it comes to organization, that creates a lot of conflict.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then we're trying to kind of deal with those those dynamics as well.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: But um, so either it wasn't modeled to you in childhood, or you grew up in a really tight, like really intense environment where you had to be like super orderly and you can't have anything, and you know, it was always a no at the store and all of those things, and now you're the mom who will like buy every stuffy and every dollar store toy, and yes, you can because I didn't have and it we like the pendulum is always swinging in different directions.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say like that's actually where we start with clients is to understand the why and the how of where we got here because there is no one size fits all.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: I can't just come in and be like, okay, you put in this bin and you put in this lazy Susan and all is gonna be perfect.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: I actually need to understand the dynamics of your home, the the whys behind how it got here, the friction points, the relationship dynamics, all of it so that we can put in a plan that actually works for you and your family and that will work after I'm gone.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's such an important piece of the work that we do that I think when you hear of like a professional organizer and declutter, I think you think of the people on TV who are just coming in and making everything like rainbow hued and clear plastic containers and all of those things.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: But it's actually such an emotional uh role.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: I joke sometimes that I should probably get more mental health accreditation.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: Literally, that's where my head's going.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like you are a therapist in a lot of ways, like a decluttering therapist.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: And you're, I love that you're addressing the root cause and you're not just here's like like I talk about this all the time in the marketing world.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's not just here's my blueprint for success that worked for this one person or one family.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, no, let's actually find out what's going to work best for you, what's going to fit your lifestyle.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: How can we work in your relationships to get the partner on board, to get the kids on board and find a system that is sustainable and works for everyone?
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I think that's so amazing that that's the root of your work.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I'll post photos.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: So we're on Instagram and um obviously with all of our clients' permission, we share a lot of the transformational work.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's very satisfying, obviously, the like before and afters.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I get a lot of comments of like, how like what?
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: How are they living like that?
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: And there's just no place for that.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: In my DMs, even privately, I just don't have that.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: I wish our our questions was more compassionate of like, oh, like I wonder what what they're dealing with, I wonder what they're going through.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder like what other supports they can use.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's just not it, we're just always addressing it from this place of shame.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm constantly trying to rewire our approach to this of like, hey, we weren't all taught this, or this isn't all of our zone of genius, or maybe they're dealing with something.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: And the care tasks of their home are just at the bottom of the list.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: There's just so much more to it than how did it get like that?
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: How dare they be messy?
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: 100%.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's so important to lead with that empathy and know that you don't know the story.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: You don't know whether, you know, those boxes of that stuff makes them actually feel safe enough to sleep a night, or if they're grieving, or if they're working three jobs just to put food on the table for their family.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like our circumstances are so different, and often people that can be the most critical, it's you know, a projection of their own insecurities, as we know, especially in the online space.
• 27:35
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• 27:41
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• 27:49
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• 28:03
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• 28:15
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• 28:28
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• 28:36
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• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'd also like to normalize the chaos, and especially because we know that, you know, even the people who maybe online or on the outside look so buttoned up and they're these highly ambitious people, but they have their own doom piles and chaotic spaces.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm so curious from your perspective of like why and how these things can coexist in terms of that like person specifically.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's first of all, we live in such a place like a curated place where, you know, the people that are super successful we're often seeing in our feed and in our social media in some way, shape, or form.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: And they have this curated picture of what their life looks like.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, either they're sharing how much money their business is making or they're showing their fancy car or or whatnot.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: But they maybe got a curated corner in their house where they film everything because everything else is chaotic.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that we don't question enough of like what we are being fed versus what the reality is.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it does it susit, it does us all a disservice because we see, like, oh, okay, if you're successful, then like your house is tidy and your clothes got put away and your pantry has no expired food in it, and your counters are clear and dan dan.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but my reality is that like, listen, organization and decluttering is unfortunately a luxury service, right?
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if you are struggling to pay for groceries, you're not gonna pay for someone to come and organize and declutter for you.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: So the folks that we work with have somewhat of a disposable income.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: Some of them are really prioritizing it and budgeting it and all of those things because it's what their family needs.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to recognize that there's like some lack of accessibility here to some degree.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: But all that to say is every house has chaos, every single house.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: And if it doesn't, it's because they have a lot of paid support.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: Whether that be the home managers that come every day or multiple times a week, maybe they have nannies who do a lot of those jobs for them, maybe they have assistants who support with some of that piece.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: So success doesn't necessarily mean that your habits all tighten up and you're just got it all together.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: It just means that either you paid for more support or you're hiding it better.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's really important.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: I when I first started this, I did a lot of collaborations with folks who were creators in like the mom space or the just like lifestyle uh phase.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: And all of them were wonderful and they do have a um more uh transparent approach, I guess, to to their feeds.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: But I I think some people were very surprised to see that they've got all these followers, they have theoretically gotten successful, and their houses are chaotic and messy and wildly disorganized.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I just think that was such an important thing to show to people, and it sparked so many different conversations of like, oh wow, I did I did not assume that.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, all that to say is I just think that we we give others way more credit than we give our give ourselves.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I think if we uh gave all of our ourselves either the breathing room or just the the care to say, like, it is okay if you're not good at this, it doesn't actually matter how much money you make or what your title is, like not everyone is good at it either.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: They're just doing a good job of getting in the support they need.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_01: So true.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so glad that you named that because there's a reason that for so many decades managing a home and kids was a full-time job, more than a full-time job, a 24 out, 24-7 job.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: And now, you know, we're in this era of typically like dual income and a lot of parents working out of the home.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so that stuff tends to fall down the priority list because there are bigger fires to be put out, you know.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I think again, this comes down to why that foundation is so important and can be such a game changer and like having the self-awareness and really addressing the root cause and creating the systems and rituals that work best for you.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'd love to share, because I think, like I was hinting at with the relationship therapist, I'm sure that you are become just like I think of like with in real estate, you know, the many hats that a service providers wear when they're coming into the home.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, what are some tips that you would give for that person in the relationship that is carrying a big part of the mental load and is looking for more support, probably first and foremost from a partner and then maybe from the kids.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_01: What are some ways that they can have that conversation in a way that you've seen really be healthy and create a good solution?
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think we don't do the greatest job of explaining our overwhelm.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I've started doing this in my own home of like, hey, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_00: My responses are getting a little bit snippy.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: Can I explain to you why?
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I think so often I have a very deeply feeling kid.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I think sometimes he was starting to feel like, it's me, I'm just hard to handle, and I'm just blah, blah, blah.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, no, that's actually not why.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: What's happening is that like look around the room, like the kitchen counter is full.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: You've got, I'm looking at that, like the rollerblades are at the back door.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: There's a helmet there, there's a box, a shoe box that you've decorated that we have to keep, obviously.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and all of those things go back to that sound analogy.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: All of those things are creating noise in my brain right now.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm trying to work, which is its own noise or requirement.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: All of that's creating noise.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_00: You're now asking me 80,000 questions.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: My partner needs something from me.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: The dog needs a walk.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so all of those things have just now bubbled up and I'm feeling really overwhelmed.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_00: I think just speaking to them as if like they can understand.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_00: They under, they know.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I often say, like, those things probably don't bug you.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but when you're a grown-up and and your responsibilities increase, like you'll probably feel those a little bit differently.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, what you can do to be helpful for me is actually just like put when you're done with something, put it away.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_00: We do have established homes in our for all the inventory in our home.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_00: So just put it away.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: That would be five less things creating noise in the house right now.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'll have the brain space to like hear you on all the new ideas you have to bring to me.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I think sometimes we just get so snippy and they just account for like, oh, mom's being unreasonable.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, mom's grumpy, I should just vacate or oh, why is mom always so annoyed?
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like they they don't actually know why.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: I think we may assume that they do, but they don't.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_00: So explaining that is really helpful.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now I have a partner who, for better or for worse, hears what I do every day, and so he very much knows all of this.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so he the other day I had my own little like I the kids have now been home for a very long time, and I'm overwhelmed.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I had to go up to my room and just put on noise-cancelling headphones and listen to a podcast without being interrupted.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and when I came down, the main floor was tidied.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_00: And like those are little things that make a huge difference.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's my love language.
• 36:36
  unknown: Yeah.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I think like I say this too to my partner as is like, or my client, sorry, is find the easy wins with your partner of like, hey, you know what?
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, I know life, there's a lot going on here.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what's gonna go the furthest with me clear counter, an empty sink, and everyone puts their dishes in the dust washer.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: They're not all of the house.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_00: Those are those are my easiest wins.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_00: Figure out what yours are.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_00: Some people are like, your shoes are put away or your jacket is hung or whatever that is.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_00: And if you can communicate what those quick wins are for them, even if they just come back to those when they see you getting overwhelmed, it can actually have a really big impact.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe once those become second nature, you can like layer on a little bit, but like, hey, cool, now you're doing that regularly, maybe put the shoes away too, and like put your toothpaste all the way back in the toothbrush holder and things that that you are going around and doing without even thinking about, but that maybe others in your home aren't.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I just think it comes down to calm communication because often what's happening is we're communicating all of those things when we are ragey and your partner can't hear that.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_00: They're not absorbing it, your kids can't hear that.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_00: All they're seeing is just like unreasonable, unreasonable, unreasonable.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so you have to find the right time and tone and all of that to to do it.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: But I also think what's happening more often, I don't know if it's just it seems to be a trend the last couple of months where it's actually the mom who is disorganized.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_00: And because we relied on mom to do it all, everyone else is disorganized.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where I I honestly come back to like, it is okay if you aren't good at this.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like we call someone to cut our grass when we don't have enough time, we order groceries to be delivered when we're running out of time.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_00: We, you know, uh get someone to walk our dog.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, why not bring someone in who can do the things that either take you longer, cause you more stress, or make you feel a certain way about yourself so that you can focus on the stuff that matters.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_00: Just giving that permission slip, whether it's me or someone else in your community who's supporting you, just giving yourself permission to call in support in that way, I think is a brand new sentence for a lot of folks.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, if it's not accessible, there's other ways you can get free resources to help you.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_01: And then maybe it's calling up a friend and being like, hey, let's tackle my this space in my house first, and then next weekend we'll do yours.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_01: And how can you actually like call in that village support that we are missing so much?
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_01: I really like the idea of like having this baseline like with the kids of there's certain things that are the baseline of this is the expectation in our family, again, part of the family culture, this is what we do.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law recently actually shared something that they've been trying.
• 39:35
  SPEAKER_01: I I forget where they heard about it, but it's the idea of closing the loop.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_01: So same idea, like when the kids, especially right in the thick of summer, and when they're going from one activity to the next and pulling out all these, all the Barbie toys, and then suddenly running outside, close that loop first, put the Barbie toys away before you move on to the next activity or clear your dish or load it into the dishwasher.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a big one right now for people as they're listening is that back to school routine.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: And when you have young kids, the amount of paper that comes home now.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_01: I thought we were like, I would have that, you know, I mean, I appreciate it.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: I love getting the artwork, but sometimes the stuff that they'll send home, I'm like, you literally just send this home because you didn't want to recycle it.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's like three coloring lines on this one sheet of paper.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_01: So now I have to go and recycle it.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_01: But are there any systems that work really well for the back to school routine for especially like the paper clutter that come home with the kids?
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I have a couple of thoughts here.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_00: One thing that we do with our kids is a morning checklist.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: So yes, we do the daily reset.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's everyone together as a family, but our morning checklist is really helpful because I found that, you know, when I'm trying to get out to a client's house, my husband's trying to get off to work, we're trying to get them off to school.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like the morning is super chaotic.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_00: And that's actually when things start to build up, right?
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_00: That's like the morning, the minute you wake up in the morning, you start to make mess.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so our morning checklist is like a visual cue outside their rooms.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_00: They have little push lights.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so I push them on each morning and they take them off as soon as they've done them.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it's simple.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's like make your bed, clean your floor, because our son does like time in his bed after bedtime where he like reads or draws or something, and that's like when the most chaos happens.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, clear your floor, put things away where they're supposed to be.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what else do they have to do?
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_00: Shut off their light, open their curtains, and get dressed.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and that's all before they come downstairs.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_00: And those are very simple things, but I was finding, you know, you have two kids, I like people have multiple children.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_00: You're saying that multiple times a day, every day.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then what's actually happens is that they just get tired of saying it.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_00: So you stop doing it.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_00: Your kids know you're not gonna prompt them, and you're just gonna do it for them.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it is like this vicious cycle of like, oh, I'm just doing everything for everyone when really they're fully capable.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_00: You just got tired.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_00: We hadn't established the habit.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing to support you in that loop.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_00: So the visual cue, the the pushlights, it's something that works really well.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_00: I have one non-reader, one reader.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_00: So we do like one is words and one is icons.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that's really helpful.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_00: One.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_00: So that's might be a little too type A for some moms or some parents in general.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, there's no chance I'm gonna be putting that all together.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I totally recognize that.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_00: But what you need to know is that your kids are just not going to understand or learn the like this, then this, then this until they're shown.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, go tidy your room doesn't mean anything to a kid.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_00: They need to understand, like, what is a tidy room.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_00: They need to know that like the bed is made, the curtains are up, your dirty clothes are in your hamper, all your clean clothes are in your cupboards, books are on the shop.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, they actually need to understand that.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so it doesn't need to be pretty, you don't need the pushlights, but they do need to understand this is a definition of a tidy room.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the expectation of one that happens.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_00: So do it in your own way, but that's what number one.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_00: The other thing is like go through your routine and figure out where your friction points are.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_00: So for me, I found it was really annoying to like line up my kids' shoes at the end of the day on in the shelf and like make the entryway look all nice.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_00: That they weren't doing it.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_00: And if they did, it was like causing me a lot of mental load to remind them and blah blah blah.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_00: But we actually just switched to a basket per person.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_00: So throw your dry shoes in a basket.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_00: My kids like do trick shots and do whatever they do to make that fun for themselves.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_00: But the end of the day, if they're not on the floor, they're in a basket.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_00: I don't care if they're lined up, they're just out of the way.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, so creating those like little bits of ease in routines that are hard.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_00: Some families we like to suggest a basket of socks by the front door because they would either find socks all over their house.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or that'd be something that they are struggling with right at they're leaving for the day and no one has socks on, and now everyone's running back up and it's like a whole thing.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_00: So socks by the door.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_00: Laundry hampers on each level of the floor is also helpful if you find like you've got nudist kids who come home from school and take off all their clothes or like shed different layers at different times of the day, assuming that someone's gonna go all the way up the stairs or down the stairs or whatever the hamper is, just like planning for how your family functions.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_00: And like maybe it's not typical to have a laundry hamper in your living room, but like that's what makes sense.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_00: What else?
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_00: I I could go on and on, but there's so many ways that you can plan for your family.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I think just like thinking outside the box and be like, oh, well, my house didn't have it that way.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's like it doesn't matter.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: What does your family need?
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm constantly brainstorming with like, even as simple as like, if you struggle with getting your clothes from like talking about those cyclical tasks, right?
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_00: Laundry is the worst one for folks.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I see a lot of clean clothes and hampers around the house.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, they never made it from like the dryer to folding to putting them away in their respective houses.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, if that's the biggest thing, and now that's visual clutter, right?
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then someone puts dirty clothes on top of the clean clothes and it starts the whole thing all over again.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_00: So if I can even suggest if that's your hurdle, just don't fold the kids clothes.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_00: Just put them in their drawers.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna stir through anyway and ruin everything that you've done.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_00: So just don't fold them and keep categories in their own bins or drawers or whatever.
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_00: But I I love that so much.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad you brought that up.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, because I actually say that to my kids on a regular basis.
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's like my job is to make sure you grow up into an adult who can do all of these things.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I if I do it for you, you're not going to learn.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_00: And my son is the kind of kid who he his ADHD brain just wants to move on to the next thing.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_00: So he's like, uh, and forcing him to slow down and close the loop or do the task feels like physically painful for him.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I explained to him like when you have a partner, they're gonna expect that you take your dirty clothes and you put them in the laundry hamper.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_00: So sure, I'm right here and they're right at my feet and I'm asking you to come and pick them up, but I'm a grown-up and I learned how to do this already.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's your job and your turn to learn that.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's such a big task.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_00: I think we also discredit how capable our kids are and how our brains short circuit to the easiest thing as a mom, right?
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like I hear that all the time as like, oh, my kids, my kids can't get rid of any toys.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_00: And the reality is that it's hard, sure.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe there's feelings that come up that we have to navigate that as a parent.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's easier for us to sneak them out or not deal with them at all, but that's not serving them either.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_00: They need to understand that like things need to go when we don't use them anymore.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_00: We need to make space for things when new things come in.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm not all to say is like you may not always have the energy to have those conversations with your kids, but if you're going to have them, check in with yourself first and make sure you have the energy for that and to do it frequently enough that they're building a muscle and it's not just like, oh, mom just got the motivation today, or dad just felt like doing it.
• 47:15
  SPEAKER_00: It needs to be something you can kind of do on repeat.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_00: But I actually just posted about this where at the end of the school year, I don't know if one different teachers do this different ways, but my daughter from JK, she gets nothing all year long.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then the last day of school, it's like this massive folder.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_00: Every artwork, every everything.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that's I was just talking with some of the moms on the street.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_00: I know that some of those folders are still sitting in their entryways.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, what the heck do I do with that?
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_00: The difference is that I actually have my kids go through theirs and say, you can pick 10 things that will stay.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_00: We'll file those.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_00: Those are the super special, you're so proud of them.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_00: They show how much you grew, whatever.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_00: You can pick a few that you can mail to your grandparents, because why not spread the love?
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_00: And the rest are being recycled.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_00: And when they are empowered with a confine of like, not just choose your favorites, because then they're gonna choose everyone.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_00: You can choose 10, you can choose 15, whatever that number is.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_00: They're so capable.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I wish I don't share my kids on social media, at least their faces or anything, but I just wish sometimes I could show just how good they are at making those decisions if you do it in a space of like kindness and patience and calm and all of that, which we don't always have, I recognize.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_01: I wish that our teachers did that.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_01: I can see how that could feel overwhelming for some people getting it all at once, but then exactly having the parameters around you get to pick 10 pieces.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_01: I love the mail sum to grandma and grandpa.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm definitely gonna do that.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_01: And and just, yeah, this one's gonna hang on the fridge or whatever.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's so cool because I find it harder to keep up with them on like a daily or weekly basis when it's just constantly coming home, like five pieces at a time, and then it piles up.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, then I usually pile it up and then I go through it and pick like the two things, but I'm gonna take that as a reminder to get them involved more in that.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_01: I do usually ask them, but having them actually go through it.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just that reminder of like what might feel a little harder now creates more ease in the long run as well.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_01: So doing the hard up front.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, there's different seasons that require different things.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe you're in a season of survival and you just need to take the easy route right now.
• 49:22
  SPEAKER_01: And there's nothing wrong with that and no shame in that.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_01: And just remembering that, you know, every season ebbs and flows, and you'll you'll come out of it, things will change, especially in parenthood.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_01: It always does.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_01: As soon as you get the hang of one thing, bam, you're in a whole other season.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_01: This was so great, and I think so helpful for so many parents, especially, and ambitious entrepreneurial parents that are balancing business and the home as well.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I'd love to end on asking you, bringing it back to your favorite self and how who is she, first of all, and what does her environment look and feel like, or what does she prioritize most in order to be able to show up as her favorite self?
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love that.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_00: This is just this, first of all, I love everything about that question.
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_00: I think my favorite self is someone who is doing the hard thing.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I don't do well in like complacency.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_00: So, like being an entrepreneur, pushing myself, having goals and doing that is something that is my is my favorite self.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_00: I feel the best in doing that.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like active, I'm reading, I'm making time for the things that matter, like my people and all of that.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_00: My environment is it's it's tiny, it's organized, it's easy to tidy, not perfectly tidy.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_00: Ultimately, I come back to like I'm always coming back to like my home needs to feel safe.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_00: It needs to feel safe for my physical, like safe in general.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like it needs to not be a health hazard, obviously.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but also safe for my nervous system.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_00: So to me, that does mean clear kitchen counters 90% of the time.
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_00: It does mean that like that daily reset is happening on a daily basis, that that the clothes don't make a trail to their house, to their bedrooms, that they that they pick up their stuff.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm probably a little bit more wired into that than some people, but that's what my nervous system needs.
• 51:26
  SPEAKER_00: And as we talked about in this whole thing is I've communicated that to my family and we have we have all of that.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_00: We're a family team, and so everyone has different needs in the family, and we make space for that.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, my favorite self has a safe home.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_01: So important and such a game changer.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, Britt, for being here and pouring into these listeners this way.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_01: Can you let us know how to find you?
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_01: What's the best way to get in touch?
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to get in touch.
• 51:55
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, if something came up for you in this and you're like, I don't, I don't know what to do here, and and you're feeling overwhelmed.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_00: I actually love having those conversations.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_00: So please do hop in to my DMs.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm most active on Instagram, so at well.nested.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_00: And you can always hop in there.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then we also have our website uh where I'm actively responding to any inquiries there.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_00: So wellnestedliving.ca.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd love to chat.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_01: Amazing.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_01: We'll have all that in the show notes for you as well.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yay.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, everyone, take this as your sign to just take 15, 30 minutes, go declutter one area in your home that's been creating a lot of friction for you, that especially that area that you walk by multiple times every single day or you use every single day.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_01: And then be sure to post about it and tag Britt and I.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_00: Please do.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, I love that so much.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: Please do.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_00: Turn down the volume.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_00: Don't forget that analogy related to uh the noise that our stuff is making.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_01: Amazing.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, and thanks everyone for listening.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_01: We'll see you next week.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to the Favorite Self podcast.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_01: If this episode stirred something in you, there's a reason for it.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_01: You could take a moment to share with a friend, someone who's also building something brave, that would mean so much to me.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_01: Better yet, leave a review.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_01: It helps this message reach even more women who are ready to lead differently.
• 53:16
  SPEAKER_01: And before you go, remember this your favorite self is already within you, waiting to be heard.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_01: See you next time.