Latest / Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker: Life Coach for People Pleasers / 232: How to Feel Better in Just 10 Minutes: Creating Your Own Wellness Room

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232: How to Feel Better in Just 10 Minutes: Creating Your Own Wellness Room · Inner Work With MaryAnn Walker: Life Coach for People Pleasers

• 0:20
  Well, hello and welcome back.
• 0:22
  You guys, I have some really exciting news to share with you, and I know it seems like I say that almost every other week here on the podcast, but I am really excited to share this with you.
• 0:31
  You guys, I started a little side job, and I am so excited about it.
• 0:36
  In addition to coaching, I am now working part-time at the local high school as the new wellness room coordinator.
• 0:43
  What?
• 0:44
  Yeah.
• 0:44
  You're probably wondering,"Okay, wait.
• 0:46
  What is a wellness room, and what is a wellness room coordinator?" And we're going to get to that in just a minute.
• 0:53
  But I will say that for years now, I have been telling people that I just wish that emotional intelligence and emotional regulation were something that was taught in the public school system.
• 1:04
  And so when I found out that my school district has a wellness room at every single school, this means all of the elementary schools, the middle school, the high school, then I just knew that I really wanted to be a part of it.
• 1:16
  So when I saw advertised that they had an opening at the high school, I jumped on it.
• 1:20
  And you guys, I cannot tell you what an amazing space this is.
• 1:24
  When you walk into the wellness room, then they've decorated it in such a way to make it feel so soothing.
• 1:30
  They've implemented all five of the senses to help students to get calm and back into their own body.
• 1:36
  So students come into this room when they're feeling frustrated or anxious, or maybe they just need to be in a space of calm for a little while, then they'll come into the wellness room, they'll implement some of the tools that are there, and then of course, the main goal of the wellness room is to get students regulated so that they can get back to class.
• 1:54
  Something that I have noticed as a parent myself is that oftentimes when a student does become frustrated with something or when they're feeling particularly anxious, then it can feel easier, and in that moment it will feel safer to them to skip out on class completely rather than work through the emotion.
• 2:11
  So this might mean that they're either skipping an individual class or maybe they're crying in the bathroom or maybe they just check out for the whole day and they're missing out on multiple classes.
• 2:20
  But when they do that, then they're missing out not only on an opportunity to learn how to self-regulate but also important educational time.
• 2:28
  So the goal of this space is to get students regulated and back to class as soon as possible in an effort to improve their graduation rates.
• 2:36
  And it has been such a rewarding thing to be a part of this program.
• 2:41
  So let me tell you a little bit about how this room works.
• 2:44
  Now, I already told you that they implement all five senses into that space.
• 2:48
  So when a student comes and checks in, then the space, it is just so warm and welcoming.
• 2:54
  It does not look like a classroom.
• 2:57
  It feels so warm and so cozy.
• 3:00
  The lights are dimmed.
• 3:01
  There's some little twinkling lights over there.
• 3:03
  Everything just feels a little bit softer and more gentle in there There's a big beanbag chair in the middle of the room.
• 3:11
  There's some hanging swings, a weighted blanket.
• 3:14
  Essential oils are diffusing in the corner.
• 3:16
  And back behind me, then I have dual TVs where I'm constantly playing soft music as well as videos that are visually appealing and calming.
• 3:25
  For example, falling leaves or a bubbling brook or an ocean scene, like with jellyfish, but it is just such a soothing space.
• 3:34
  One of the things I love most about being in that room is just being present when someone is seeing that room for the first time.
• 3:40
  For example, maybe it's a potential student and their parent.
• 3:43
  I love seeing the look on their face when they first walk into that room.
• 3:47
  It's just a look that says,"Ah," and they're instantly relaxed.
• 3:52
  And I know that look really well because I had that same look on my face the first time I saw that room.
• 3:57
  First, then the look was,"Wow, a place like this exists?" And then at the same time, then I was experiencing emotions of,"Oh, I just wish this had been there for my kids," and,"Ah, I wish that there had been a space like this for me when I was going to school." It is such an incredible space.
• 4:12
  When a student first comes into the room, then first they check in on the computer, and they let me know what emotion they're experiencing and at what level of intensity.
• 4:21
  Then they turn in their cellphone, and they grab a little 10-minute timer, and they have about 10 minutes to implement one of the tools that are in that room.
• 4:29
  After 10 minutes, I'll check in with them.
• 4:31
  I'll kind of see how they're doing.
• 4:32
  Maybe at that point they're ready to go back to class.
• 4:35
  If they need a little bit more time, I can give them a bit more time.
• 4:38
  If they're unable to get regulated, they might go to the school counselor or be sent home for the day.
• 4:43
  But my job is basically to help students figure out what it is that they need in order to regulate their own emotions.
• 4:50
  So they'll implement a tool for a while.
• 4:52
  Sometime the tools are fidget spinners, a weighted blanket, therapy putty.
• 4:56
  There's a little zen garden in there that they can play with.
• 4:58
  There's coloring.
• 4:59
  And then of course, talking with me, that's always an option.
• 5:04
  And that honestly has been one of the most rewarding things about this job.
• 5:09
  When students come into that space and as we develop a relationship of trust, then they're more likely to talk with me about what's going on with them, and that's been amazing because it then gives me an opportunity to coach them, to show them how their brain works, to explain to them what's happening in their body when they're experiencing these emotions, to help them figure out what their academic goals are.
• 5:31
  And I might even point out to them and say,"Hey, I recognize you keep coming into the wellness room during this same class period.
• 5:37
  Is there something going on in there?
• 5:39
  What level of support do you need?
• 5:41
  How can I best help you so that you feel comfortable in that class?" And then I can connect them with other resources if needed.
• 5:48
  And so today I thought it would be kind of fun to share with you some of the ways that you could create your very own wellness room.
• 5:55
  Because honestly, the bulk of these students, they are only in that room for 10 minutes, but in that time, then they're able to create huge turnarounds.
• 6:04
  For example, one student, they checked in at a five out of five overwhelm, and when they checked out after just a few minutes, then they were at a level three out of five calm.
• 6:16
  All it takes is having a little bit of intention, getting rid of those distractions, and utilizing your five senses, and it can make such a huge difference.
• 6:27
  Let's be really honest that a lot of people, they're really in the thick of it right now.
• 6:31
  It seems like there have been some really big shifts for people moving into the new school year or people getting back into a routine after summer, and a lot of people are experiencing overwhelm right now.
• 6:42
  So we're going to be talking about how to create your own wellness room using your five senses because it is possible to get calm and regulated in just 10 minutes when you have the proper space for it.
• 6:55
  As I share these tips, be thinking about when you're going to use this space.
• 7:00
  Be very intentional about how and when you're going to be using this space because, yes, you can have an absolutely beautiful and relaxing space, but if when you're in that room, if you're on your phone, if you're watching TV, if you're otherwise distracted, then it's not going to be as calming and healing and regulating for you and your nervous system as you might have intended for that space to be.
• 7:22
  So be thinking about where in your day you're going to carve out 10 minutes of uninterrupted zen time into your absolutely beautiful space, okay?
• 7:31
  And you're going to do this phone and distraction-free.
• 7:36
  Now, a lot of the tips I'm going to be sharing, they are going to sound incredibly simple because they are, but please do not underestimate them simply because they're so simple.
• 7:46
  But instead, just pick maybe one or two things that you could add into your space and see if it makes a difference for you.
• 7:54
  So the first thing I want you to do is identify the space that you want to improve.
• 7:59
  And you can identify this space by thinking about,"Okay, where is it that I naturally tend to go when I'm feeling upset, when I'm feeling dysregulated?" Are you somebody that enjoys soaking in the bathtub?
• 8:10
  Do you enjoy spending time in your bedroom with a closed door?
• 8:12
  Do you just want to listen to music in your living room laying in that really sunny spot?
• 8:17
  Or maybe you instead want to focus on your workspace.
• 8:20
  Maybe you're recognizing that,"Okay, the place that I'm experiencing the most stress is at work, and I wanna do some things at work that will help me to feel more calm and relaxed so I can stay in my workflow without getting overwhelmed." But pick your space and be very intentional about where it is you want to create this space because the needs of each of those locations is going to be very different.
• 8:40
  I mean, let's be honest, what you choose to do in your bathroom, it's going to be very different than what you would choose to do in the workplace or in your bedroom, right?
• 8:49
  Okay, so the next step is to kind of look around your space and simply clean it up.
• 8:54
  And I get it, this sounds so simple, but please do it.
• 8:58
  Do not skip this step.
• 9:00
  Look around your space with fresh eyes and just notice what needs to be done.
• 9:05
  Oftentimes, there's clutter that comes about, and it just piles up over time, and we don't notice it until the guests are arriving.
• 9:11
  So treat yourself like that guest.
• 9:13
  Look at your space with fresh eyes and see what needs to be done.
• 9:17
  For example, maybe you're looking around in your living room and realizing that, oh, there sure are a lot of doggy nose prints on that window.
• 9:24
  Yes, that's my living room.
• 9:26
  My dog loves sitting in the window and watching for the mail lady.
• 9:29
  But maybe for you, then it's a pile of papers that's always in the corner, or maybe you just need to do a quick vacuum.
• 9:35
  Maybe your fan is all dusty.
• 9:38
  But clean your space and clean it well, because it is absolutely amazing what a difference it can make to just have a clean space.
• 9:46
  If our space is unorganized, it can be really hard for our thoughts and our emotions to be organized and processed.
• 9:53
  When we're in a cluttered space, it can be hard to feel and process your emotions because your brain, it's gonna be focusing on all the other things that need to be fixed first.
• 10:01
  It cannot problem solve your emotions until it has solved the problems in the space.
• 10:06
  So your brain is going to tend to look at the things on the floor or the dust on your fan.
• 10:11
  So clean it, organize it, and then notice how that feels for you.
• 10:15
  For some of you, then cleaning the space, that might be the only thing that you need to do in order to experience that zen.
• 10:22
  So clean the space, fluff the pillows, make your bed, dust the fan, scrub the tub, but look around your space and tidy it up.
• 10:30
  Okay, next we're going to be talking about smells.
• 10:33
  Now notice your room.
• 10:34
  I know you just cleaned it, and so maybe it smells pretty good right now, or maybe it still needs something to freshen it up a little bit.
• 10:41
  So maybe you want to eliminate odors by spraying your whole room with Febreze.
• 10:44
  I love that stuff.
• 10:45
  It's amazing.
• 10:47
  Or maybe you want to introduce a new smell, like lighting a candle or maybe putting some essential oils into a diffuser.
• 10:54
  Maybe you're somebody that likes to burn incense or use smelly lotions, but find some way to stimulate your olfactory system.
• 11:01
  For me, I love using smelly lotions when I'm relaxing.
• 11:04
  It kind of triggers my brain to go,"Oh, okay, this lotion means that now is the time to relax." And I have a different fragrance when I'm ready to work and be present, where, yes, I have lotion here that I'll use when I'm coaching a client, and I also have some I use at the school that reminds me that, okay, this fragrance means it's time to be very present.
• 11:22
  We tend to really underestimate the power of smell and how much that can bring us into the present moment.
• 11:28
  But think for a moment about all of the times when you've had a certain fragrance attached to an emotion.
• 11:34
  For example, maybe it's grandma's cookies or grandpa's cologne.
• 11:38
  Some people have said,"Oh, you know what?
• 11:39
  I actually just love the smell of cigars.
• 11:41
  It reminds me of my uncle that I just love." But notice, okay, what smells feel comforting to me?
• 11:47
  What smells good?
• 11:48
  And implement those smells.
• 11:51
  Something that I love to do around the holidays is buy those cinnamon pine cones and kind of hide them all throughout the house, because it just makes everything feel a little bit more warm and cozy.
• 12:01
  So change up the fragrance in your room and find something that really brings you into the present, that's kind of a dedicated smell for just that space.
• 12:09
  Okay, next, sight.
• 12:11
  Now, I know that we've already cleaned the space, and that is a part of sight, but look around your space and see what is and is not visually appealing for you.
• 12:20
  Are you noticing that there's maybe some pillows that you want to freshen up or a blanket that looks a little bit too worn?
• 12:25
  What might make this space a little bit more comforting for you?
• 12:29
  Look around at your artwork and see, okay, do I love this piece?
• 12:33
  Is that one a little bit outdated?
• 12:35
  Do I wanna freshen it up a little bit?
• 12:37
  Maybe there's a piece of art on your wall that you're realizing, oh yeah, that's the art that came with the frame, and I've been wanting to replace that for years.
• 12:43
  Now is your chance to replace that art, okay?
• 12:46
  For me, I was recently shopping at TJ Maxx, and I found this super adorable beaded owl, and it is just the cutest thing ever.
• 12:53
  And I thought, you know what?
• 12:54
  That owl brings me joy.
• 12:56
  I'm gonna take him home with me.
• 12:57
  So I took that owl home, and I put it on my piano, and now whenever I'm in that space and I see that cute little sparkly owl, it just brings me so much joy.
• 13:06
  Lighting is also something to consider when you're thinking about how things feel visually.
• 13:12
  For me, I have a light in my living room that I absolutely love.
• 13:15
  I think it is so beautiful.
• 13:17
  And also,, the light that comes from it, it can feel pretty abrasive when I'm feeling overstimulated.
• 13:23
  So maybe for you, you want to change out your light bulbs into something a little bit softer.
• 13:28
  Maybe you want to put up some of those pretty string lights to add a little bit of interest there.
• 13:32
  Maybe you want to use candles, not only for their fragrance, but also for the lighting.
• 13:36
  But get creative about your lighting.
• 13:39
  Plants can be another amazing way to kind of brighten up a space.
• 13:43
  I love how they seem to just breathe life into everything.
• 13:47
  Now, for those of you that are using your bathroom as your own little wellness space, did you know that they actually make waterproof lights?
• 13:53
  They are so cool.
• 13:54
  They're battery operated.
• 13:55
  They have little suction cups, and so you can stick them on the inside of your tub.
• 13:59
  You can turn off the overhead lights, turn on your bathtub lights, and then your water will just glow in all of these different colors.
• 14:06
  It is so soothing, and it just feels so good.
• 14:09
  Okay, next, touch.
• 14:12
  What things do you want to feel and experience when you're in need of comfort?
• 14:16
  For me, I love having fuzzy shawls.
• 14:19
  I have them all over my house, and I just think that they feel so good.
• 14:23
  I also love having a good fuzzy blanket.
• 14:25
  I love petting my dog.
• 14:26
  I find that to be soothing.
• 14:28
  Some people, they enjoy keeping a stone next to them to bring them into the present, or maybe they have a fidget that they like to hold onto.
• 14:35
  But start to think about what you might be able to touch to bring you back into your body when you're feeling overwhelmed.
• 14:41
  It might be something as simple as just sitting down and stroking your own skin.
• 14:45
  But find some way to incorporate touch into your space.
• 14:49
  I love to incorporate touch by including various textures into my space.
• 14:53
  So yes, I have my fuzzy blanket and my fuzzy shawls.
• 14:56
  I also have a ribbed corduroy couch that I sometimes feel because I just love the texture on it.
• 15:01
  It just feels so amazing.
• 15:02
  I also have a super soft rug in my living room that I like to walk on barefoot.
• 15:07
  But get curious about, okay, how can I make contact with all these different textures so that I can come back into my body?
• 15:14
  What makes me feel good and brings me into the present moment?
• 15:18
  Okay, next we're going to talk about sound.
• 15:21
  When students come into the wellness room, there is always soft music playing, so maybe you want to play soft music also.
• 15:27
  Or maybe for you then you want to listen to meditations or affirmations.
• 15:32
  Maybe you prefer silence.
• 15:34
  Maybe it means having a little fountain in the corner so you can hear trickling water.
• 15:38
  There are so many different ways to incorporate sound, and it can be incredibly healing.
• 15:43
  There are a million apps out there to help you with this as well.
• 15:46
  One app that I personally like is the Insight Timer.
• 15:49
  On there you can listen to music, meditations, affirmations, or you can listen to singing bowls.
• 15:55
  There are just so many options available to help you to feel more relaxed.
• 15:59
  Okay, and then last but not least, taste.
• 16:03
  Now, I am not saying that people should eat their feelings.
• 16:05
  That's not what I'm saying at all.
• 16:07
  But having a little something to suck on or to taste when you're feeling overwhelmed, it can really help to bring you back into your body.
• 16:14
  Something can be super helpful is I love having those little lemon drops.
• 16:18
  They're just sour enough that it makes me go,"Oh," and I have no choice but to come into the present moment because it just has that little bit of tartness.
• 16:25
  So maybe you want to have a lemon drop when you go into your space.
• 16:28
  Maybe you want to have a glass of cold water or a cup of warm tea.
• 16:32
  Maybe you want to brush your teeth intentionally before going into that space so that your mouth feels fresh and clean.
• 16:38
  Maybe you need a snack, or maybe you need a whole meal.
• 16:41
  Honestly, I am learning so much at the high school that for many students, their emotions are significantly harder to navigate simply because they need a snack.
• 16:50
  And once they get a snack, they just feel so much better.
• 16:52
  They have an easier time managing their emotions.
• 16:55
  So use this as an opportunity to check in with your body and see what it is that you might need.
• 17:01
  Do you need a drink?
• 17:02
  Do you need a snack?
• 17:04
  Do you need a lemon drop?
• 17:05
  What's going on for you?
• 17:06
  What is it that you need?
• 17:09
  When we're able to better meet the physical demands of our body, then it makes it significantly easier for our body to support us as we work to process our emotions.
• 17:19
  Okay, so there you have it.
• 17:21
  You have just created your own wellness room.
• 17:23
  Now, as you're using this room, I highly encourage you to use it in the same way that my students use that space.
• 17:30
  Check in with yourself before entering that space and ask yourself,"Okay, what emotion am I currently experiencing, and at what level of intensity?" And then when you're leaving that space, check in again and ask yourself,"Okay, now what emotion am I experiencing, and at what level of intensity?" And honestly, you guys, I would love to hear how this wellness room works out for you.
• 17:51
  I would love to hear how you're incorporating this into your life, and I would love to see some pictures.
• 17:57
  So maybe if you wanna share a picture on social media, you could tag me in the photo.
• 18:01
  Maybe you want to use#wellnessroom, but share your photos with me and I'll be sharing them in my stories on social media.
• 18:08
  If you wanna follow me on social media, I have all my contact information in the show notes, but let's connect and please share with me what it is that you're doing.
• 18:15
  Even if it takes you a week or two to get your room sorted out, please tag me.
• 18:19
  I would love to see it.
• 18:21
  All right, well, here's to creating more personal wellness.
• 18:24
  I hope you have a great week, and let's talk soon.
• 18:26
  Bye now.