Latest / The Daily Sarcast / July 6th, 2026: A New Gay Dating App, Trump's FIFA Fix And Guest Starring
Transcript
- 0:00Today's episode is brought to you by eggplants. They're actually berries.
- 0:05You can declassify whatever you want. Donald Trump.
- 0:09Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and maybe a laugh.
- 0:14I'm Lindsay Vernick, and today is July 6, 2026.
- 0:18I hope that you guys had a great weekend and stayed cool and got to see some fireworks.
- 0:24And if you posted fireworks on your story, I think this is a reminder that we
- 0:30all know what fireworks looks like and we don't need to continue to watch it
- 0:34on your story. So if you didn't post it, thank you.
- 0:38In real news, there's this new dating app called Goose and it launched with
- 0:42the promise of helping gay men find actual meaningful relationships instead of endless hookups.
- 0:49Super cute idea, right? Except there's a little bit of a problem with this one.
- 0:54Apparently a bunch of the hot guys promoting the app on instagram don't actually exist,
- 1:00their profile photos seem to be ai generated and they all send the same exact
- 1:05messages to people and many of the counts were created within weeks of each other,
- 1:10dating apps are full of ghosting i mean i would know it's a lot of catfishing
- 1:15and people who say that they're 5 11 when they're really 5'6".
- 1:20Now apparently you have to wonder if Brad with the perfect jawline is just AI.
- 1:25The app isn't being accused of having fake users. The controversy is over the marketing.
- 1:31But if your launch strategy is let's trick lonely people with imaginary influencers,
- 1:36maybe you should workshop that one a little bit longer.
- 1:39The FDA has issued a recall for certain potato chips after they were linked
- 1:43to a possible salmonella contamination.
- 1:46Contamination.
- 1:48Potato chips literally have one job, just to be salty and crunchy and fun.
- 1:53Maybe cut the roof of your mouth by accident, but that's literally it.
- 1:57You expect salmonella from undercooked chicken, not from something that's a
- 2:02crispy potato and seasoning.
- 2:05Imagine getting sick from a bag of potato chips.
- 2:09This is just another reminder that life is a random number generator.
- 2:12You can meal prep every Sunday, drink green juice, count your macros,
- 2:16and then a potato chip comes in and ruins your entire life.
- 2:20It's not often that the most dangerous thing at the party could come from Trader Joe's.
- 2:26The TSA agents at Indianapolis Airport discovered a live smoke grenade hidden
- 2:31inside a jar of peanut butter the other day.
- 2:34Most people are just trying to sneak snacks. God, I cannot talk today.
- 2:38They're trying to sneak snacks onto a flight, but this guy is building a criminal lunchable instead.
- 2:45Even better, there was a second grenade in the bag. That's also a lot of peanut butter.
- 2:51And the defense was basically, someone told me this would work,
- 2:54which is also the official saying of every bad decision ever made at an airport.
- 2:59In Lindsay life, I had a very wholesome July 4th weekend.
- 3:03On both saturday and sunday i hung out with two different groups of girls at like a friend's house,
- 3:10on saturday i was with a friend group from med school and then on sunday i was with a high school group
- 3:17and i'm not actually in any of these friend groups but i always like to guest
- 3:21star and i always get invited to like guest star in them but i'm not actually
- 3:25in them so it's kind of fun when you
- 3:27get to do that because you get to hear about all the drama unfolding,
- 3:33but you're not involved in any of it.
- 3:35And you kind of just get to watch it like it's a TV show. It's fun.
- 3:39Thing of this week is FIFA's kind of non-existent legit rulebook.
- 3:45So there's some weird stuff happening in the World Cup right now.
- 3:49One of the players on the U.S. team got a red card the other day when we were
- 3:53playing against Bosnia.
- 3:55And that means you're automatically suspended for the next match. End of story.
- 4:00I also heard it was like a bit controversial.
- 4:02Like he immediately got red carded, which was kind of crazy.
- 4:06But then also he didn't really get the red card.
- 4:10So trump decided that this situation took priority over all of his other presidential duties,
- 4:16and picked up the phone and called the fifa's president so fifa reversed the
- 4:21suspension using this little known disciplinary rule,
- 4:26and all of a sudden this u.s player was cleared to play now against our game
- 4:31against belgium that's coming up,
- 4:33so obviously everyone in belgium is like super pissed.
- 4:37And a lot of people are wondering whether the rulebook is written in ink or just a dry erase marker.
- 4:43And now maybe FIFA genuinely believe the red card was unfair. Maybe.
- 4:49But when the punishment changes after a phone call from one of the most powerful
- 4:52people in the world, it doesn't really start to feel legit anymore, does it?
- 4:57If this becomes the new standard, every coach is going to spend halftime saying,
- 5:01does anyone have the president's number?
- 5:04Cooking tip of the day. You can let the husbands do it, but the girls always know how to cook best.
- 5:09Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish boy looking for a date,
- 5:12email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com. Thanks so much for listening.
- 5:16Talk to you guys tomorrow.