Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / History of Swear Words

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History of Swear Words · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

0:01
Oh, God. Oh, my God. You couldn't have done this
0:22
while you were pooping, Nick? We had toilet paper
0:25
right next to him, too. We didn't multitask very
0:28
well. But no pens or pencils in it. Other way.
0:31
It's a coward's bathroom. No manifestos written
0:35
in there. The only pen was a pen 15. I could
0:37
have written it in shit. Also, guys, guys, there's
0:42
six episodes. I have a D6 right here. I have
0:44
a six out of die right here. Yeah, but this way
0:47
Bill gets to pull it out and we have to say it.
0:49
He has to say it. Ah, that's a good point, yeah.
0:52
It isn't about just the randomizing. It's making
0:55
Bill introduce the word. It's going to be groundbreaking
0:58
for a lot of, even the Sparkle Buddies, I'm sure,
1:01
will be like, oh, wow, he's like a sailor. It's
1:04
like, well, I can. I think out of all of them,
1:06
there's one I'm most excited to hear and I'm
1:08
not going to tell you which one yet. That works.
1:11
I know which one I want to hear. Also, For a
1:16
show called The History of Swear Words, I don't
1:19
feel like most of those words were swear words.
1:21
They kind of address that. They're kind of petering
1:25
out. Yeah. Especially episode six. Yeah, it's
1:28
all just history. Yeah. Etymology is kind of
1:32
the whole point, right? That's why they had the
1:33
etymologist on there. She was perfect. Yeah,
1:36
Dorothy really liked the etymologist. She was
1:38
like, I would take any class from her. She just
1:40
seems so excited. I'm glad you just put here,
1:43
for Sean's sake, this is what. nick drew yeah
1:47
he's like yeah i've seen nick's wiener drawings
1:51
before you know so bill would you like to draw
1:55
the first card i would love to draw the first
1:57
card oh we're getting right i mean should we
1:58
maybe explain to the folks at home what we're
2:00
doing no no they'll go in blind it's fine i mean
2:05
i've run listening to you guys often enough i
2:07
get a half mile in and then then it's like oh
2:09
welcome to yeah And then I laugh a quarter mile
2:13
later and almost fall over. Glad someone finds
2:16
us entertaining. It takes you three quarters
2:19
of a mile to laugh at our show. Yeah. Usually
2:23
it's just like a little titter and then someone
2:25
else says something. I'm like, OK, that's funny.
2:27
A titter. Yes. Just a little titter. Not even
2:33
a titter. Tough sub. hey i got nothing i got
2:36
nothing after twitter welcome back to cage match
2:38
going around about me meeting nicholas cage we're
2:40
still here for some reason uh i'm sean here with
2:44
my co -host nick who is apparently a few pounds
2:48
lighter after what he did to producer peter's
2:51
bathroom hi producer peter yeah hi it's me producer
2:54
peter whose bathroom needs a cleaning don't worry
2:57
it's it's all gonna peel right off like the whole
3:01
bathroom did you guys do something new in there
3:02
it felt weird this time i don't think so oh okay
3:05
did i think you did something new in four years
3:09
of podcast in that poor bathroom i didn't get
3:11
the full like butterfly so i don't know if there's
3:14
anything new in it uh definitely corn i know
3:18
there's corn gumming going through me i didn't
3:20
have any corn who put corn in me Nick, this is
3:26
this long into your your long and storied life.
3:28
Are you still finding new and interesting ways
3:30
to shit? Are you just kind of over it? I mean,
3:34
I mean, once you've upper deckered. Yeah. Having
3:36
upper deckered and I've slatered a toilet. And
3:40
once you've done those two, it's really you sit
3:43
backwards. So, like A .C. Slater. Once you've
3:47
done one of those. That's how you relate to the
3:51
youths, too. It's weird because you have to take
3:54
your pants completely off. You don't do that
3:57
normally. Always make sure to lock that door
4:00
in the public restroom, too. That's the first
4:02
word we come up with on this. Bill, draw that
4:05
word. Bill, by the way, is our guest. Hey, everyone.
4:09
Go ahead. Sweet. I'll reach right in there. Yeah,
4:11
get in there. Oh, my God. What's that? All right.
4:14
Our first word, bitch. I think I got the one.
4:19
I think you got the inflection just right. That
4:22
is exactly how I was hoping you would say it.
4:24
A little scared. Like, oh, OK, here it goes.
4:30
Also, because for the listeners, we are talking
4:32
about the history of swear words. This is a Netflix
4:35
series that came out a couple of years ago, hosted
4:38
by Nick Cage with, you know, him being kind of
4:41
talking head throughout bits and pieces of it
4:43
and getting to just rip some swears and draw
4:47
some fucking vaginal flowers. Oh, and a big dick.
4:51
Yeah. Yeah. What is what's y 'all's favorite
4:54
genitalia to draw? Horse. Horse is definitely
5:00
a tough answer to beat. Big fat horse cocks.
5:03
It's just long and skinny at that point. So it's
5:05
like, it's like, you can just go as long as you
5:07
want and be rich to his face. No one will bat
5:09
an eye. Hold on. We're not on genitals yet. We're
5:12
on bitches. We're on bitches. So Bill. Yeah,
5:14
Bill, let's talk bitches. We shall talk about
5:18
the B word bitch. All right. So how do we want
5:21
to kind of get through these? Because they're
5:23
all sort of, well, they're, they're short, short
5:26
little episodes and they all get kind of like
5:29
a entomological or whatever the fucking word
5:32
is going to be. kind of background of like, oh,
5:36
you know, it came about in this times and it
5:38
was innocuous or innocent enough. Then like,
5:41
it was a girl dog. Sarah Silverman says something.
5:44
Right. So it's backed up by a bunch of comedians,
5:48
comedians and historians talking nerds, like
5:51
people who worked for Miriam Webster and that
5:54
kind of thing. I will say the bitch episode of
5:56
all the episodes was the one that was taken probably
5:59
more seriously than the rest. i that's one thing
6:02
i wanted to point out i remember i was watching
6:05
it with my wife we watched the first four episodes
6:06
together and we were laughing during episodes
6:09
one and two and then the bitch episode came out
6:12
and the change in the air was palpable it was
6:15
not upset but it was just like oh i'm i'm uncomfortable
6:19
and i kind of feel like she might be too i did
6:22
notice there was a complete lack of nick offerman
6:24
in the bitch episode it's definitely one of those
6:27
words that like i don't find myself using it's
6:31
not a go -to for me like if i do use it which
6:34
i do um it's not one that i'm i think i'm intentionally
6:37
trying to use to reference uh women it feels
6:42
weird doing that yeah i agree with that but if
6:44
i'm bitching about something i know that still
6:47
gets it's all clumped into like oh you're acting
6:50
like a woman about this yeah like if i if i was
6:54
ever gonna call a woman a bitch i'd just call
6:56
her a cunt yeah you're going all the way to the
6:59
end zone on that one well and it's interesting
7:01
too because thinking about that one it's like
7:03
there was that british comedian on there i can't
7:05
remember her name of course um but she was like
7:09
these swears seem like very american like nobody
7:12
really cares you know oh yeah In England, you
7:15
can just be like, what's up, you fucking cunt?
7:18
It's like, oh, good morning. Every third word
7:20
is that word, whereas I don't even want... It's
7:23
not one of the episodes, so you're not hearing
7:24
me say that one, but yeah. Oh, you will. The
7:28
hour's young, and I've only had a beer in me.
7:31
It is rather interesting how so many of these
7:34
words that are just part of my daily vernacular
7:36
that I don't think anything of are still in our
7:40
culture. We're so weirdly puritanical about some
7:42
of them. And I think from what I could tell from
7:46
the episodes, that kind of depends where you
7:47
are. You know, whether it's in Seattle, a lot
7:51
of them are a little bit easier to get away with.
7:54
This bitch being one of the ones that's not.
7:56
But you go somewhere in the south or you hang
7:59
out with people who are busy on Sundays. Let's
8:01
just put it that way. You're not going to be
8:03
able to get away with even damn, which we'll
8:07
get to it later. Turns out might be the worst
8:10
one in a lot of ways, which we kind of laugh
8:12
at. But you think about what the way they describe
8:14
it, it's the one that really. send you somewhere
8:17
right but yeah um yeah bitch uh obviously i love
8:21
that they brought dogs into it and it was interesting
8:23
to get the history of that and why like oh cool
8:26
bill's like yes an episode about dogs i saw a
8:29
dog cool um yeah i i just this was probably of
8:34
the episodes the most uncomfortable and it still
8:37
was funny but i'll say that uh charlotte is my
8:41
main bitch that's that's pretty cool that's hot
8:44
bitch yeah she's that bitch yeah she is that
8:47
bitch yeah 100 i did like that section where
8:50
they really kind of talk about like the distinction
8:51
and like the reclaiming of it sort of like yes
8:54
calling someone a bitch versus being like no
8:56
i'm embodying that like i am that bitch big bitch
9:01
energy yeah big bitch power right i like that
9:03
i think that's a cool way to kind of reclaim
9:05
it um lizzo starts out a song saying that she
9:08
is so 100 i'll get it i did like watching the
9:13
hit timeline of it because it was b2 for dog
9:18
and then it was promiscuous lady then it was
9:21
just mouthy lady yeah right yeah the the the
9:26
woman in heat trends you transition into just
9:29
being like loud yeah and uh the usage patterns
9:35
kind of uh mirroring uh women's rights and everything
9:39
it's like oh yeah it gets used a lot more when
9:43
women start standing up and demanding equality
9:47
and so it's like oh that's the best part of the
9:51
episode loathe to say funniest it was hilarious
9:54
but it's just like i only don't want to say funniest
9:57
because oh so true was all the female comedians
10:00
be uh it's like here's how to not be called a
10:03
bitch don't be too loud Don't be too quiet. Don't
10:06
walk down the street. Don't stay inside. Don't
10:08
have kids. Have kids. It's just like, oh, yeah.
10:13
Yeah, that actually directly made me think about
10:16
this song by a band called Lambrini Girls, Cuntology
10:22
101, where it just breaks down like everything
10:24
you do, you're a cunt. Getting used to saying
10:27
no is cunty. Getting out of your comfort zone.
10:31
learning how to let go is cunty and it's just
10:33
like boom boom boom also having cum on your shirt
10:35
is cunty apparently but i don't know if i agree
10:38
i think that's fine just happens every day yeah
10:41
i can't help it well and wasn't that kind of
10:44
like basically the america for uh um speech at
10:47
the end of barbie when she's talking about yeah
10:49
here you can't do this can't do that can't do
10:51
have fun being a woman in this world and it's
10:54
like and they just they brought bitch into it
10:56
yeah I really feel like this episode could use
10:59
Jim Jeffries. Just a man's explanation. Help
11:01
me understand. Yeah. Yeah. We really put a point
11:05
on it. I thought this one was pretty good, though.
11:09
Overall, like it did have a couple of like highlight
11:11
moments. I did really like Nick Cage saying,
11:14
let's talk about some bygone bitches. I wrote
11:20
that down. Yeah. i enjoyed that uh nick cage
11:26
got to it's seemingly have some fun with the
11:29
hosting portion of it yeah there's definitely
11:31
some things that felt like he was uh being encouraged
11:35
by the producers to just like uh put it put put
11:38
some splash on that word for sure nicholas better
11:42
than me but i don't think you need to tell him
11:44
that because this is the one like even at the
11:47
start of this episode his like little intro preamble
11:51
which is like no i don't know about this one
11:55
I think he starts it off with, welcome, bitches,
11:58
and is like, no. Yeah, I don't know about that.
12:03
Oh, we got to talk about one other thing from
12:05
this episode. Lucille Bogan, the jazz singer
12:09
from the 30s or whatever. Oh, God, I forgot about
12:12
her. Her shit was filthy. It was amazing. Yeah.
12:17
I took a picture of the lyrics that they showed.
12:19
You can fuck my cock or suck my cock, baby, till
12:23
the cows come home. Damn. Yeah, that's pretty
12:28
amazing. For somebody born in the 1800s, that's
12:31
wild. That is absolutely wild. One of the comedians
12:34
is like, this is like listening to my grandmother
12:37
have sex. People have always been filthy and
12:43
now there's just a little bit. I mean, that's
12:44
the thing. It's the truth. It's always been there.
12:46
It's like anytime new media comes out, what's
12:49
the first thing that happens? You make porn.
12:51
Everyone is horny as fuck. Figure out how to
12:54
sexualize it. VHS beat Betamax because it went
12:58
with porn. I did not know that. It's true. And
13:01
that was one of the reasons that Blu -ray versus
13:04
HD DVD was the winner. No, actually HD DVD went
13:09
with porn or porn went with HD DVD. but the internet
13:12
existed wrong yeah because everyone changed the
13:15
game everyone did think that uh it was going
13:18
to go hdvd because porn went that way and then
13:21
people were like and then us youngins were like
13:23
you guys buy porn in a store i find it in the
13:28
woods if only everyone finds a magazine in the
13:31
woods at some point yeah yeah we've all been
13:33
there oh yeah Hey, if you find it, let me know
13:35
because I can't remember where I left it. There
13:37
are woods right over here. We'll be able to find
13:39
it. It's there in my backyard. Upon your 30th
13:42
birthday, you return it to the woods once it
13:43
was found. Slightly stickier. Yeah, some pages
13:49
you won't be able to open ever again. Gross.
13:52
That was the morning dew. Hey, I get poetic sometimes.
14:00
That was beautiful. I feel like we needed our
14:03
next word. Bring it on. Where is, oh yeah. In
14:06
the pocket. Yeah, reaching in the pocket. And
14:10
our next one. Why is it sticky? Damn. Ironic.
14:15
dick oh fantastic dick is fantastic i liked this
14:20
one because it really it they were like yeah
14:23
no it comes it comes from a geek i'm just it's
14:26
the only swear word named after a dude yeah i
14:28
enjoyed this because from an entertainment standpoint
14:32
it is the most enjoyable of the episodes like
14:35
everybody just has fun with dick because Nobody's
14:40
really offended by saying dick. Nope. Or hearing
14:43
dick. No. Sometimes it's fun to just look at
14:46
dick. Sure. You drew us a nice picture here,
14:48
so that's good. One of the hosts of one of my
14:51
favorite radio shows. His name is Dick. I'm so
14:52
used to saying, oh yeah, Dick Fane's on. Dick
14:55
Fang? That's a great name. Now I wish it was
14:58
Fang. How many dicks do you all know? How many
15:02
dicks do we encounter on our daily basis? Not
15:04
a Richard. Someone who actually goes by Dick.
15:06
I don't know. I also like learning about how
15:09
we got from Richard to Dick, because that's always
15:13
bothered me. Offerman describing that was pretty
15:15
funny. It was pretty good. The explanation of
15:17
like the weird, you know, name things. It's like,
15:20
OK, so you're Richard. So you became Rick. So
15:23
you became Dick. So you became Nick. William,
15:26
who's a bill. So I get it. Yeah. Like Megan,
15:29
like was shortened to Meg, which then we got
15:32
Peg. Yeah. Richard to Dick never made sense.
15:37
Not at all. And yet there it is. So I can actually
15:41
say thanks to Nick Cage. I've learned something.
15:43
Boom. It only took four and a half years. Well
15:45
done. Finally checked that one off. Yeah. Well,
15:49
and I always liked all the nicknames that they
15:50
came up with, too. I wrote down gravy spigot.
15:53
Oh, gross. Both Nikki and I forget. Oh, and Dorothy
15:57
said, yeah. Yeah. Purple headed yogurt slinger
16:03
was always a disgustingly descriptive one. For
16:07
whatever reason, the simplicity of skin flute
16:10
always really like slapped for me. I think that's
16:13
the one. I like that. the one asian comedian
16:18
landed two nicholas cage references as a national
16:24
treasure and as a peggy sue oh yeah yep which
16:27
just referring to wang but he never got a third
16:32
one i know makes me wish hey think about your
16:35
favorite nicholas cage uh penis reference and
16:38
that'll be i'll come back to that okay uh hat
16:41
on that uh describe your own genitals with the
16:44
name of a nick cage movie oh okay yeah let's
16:46
just do that that's even better the rock oh fuck
16:50
damn that's really good Damn my life of drug
16:53
use. I'll never come up with something that bad.
16:57
Okay, I'm going to think about that one. You
16:59
guys have seen all the movies. I know, and I
17:01
need to go through IMDb real quick to get some
17:03
titles. I feel like that almost probably hurts
17:05
you guys more because you're like, there's a
17:07
lot to think of. There's got to be a funny one.
17:09
I keep coming up with the worst ones. I feel
17:11
like it could happen to you. Stolen. Oh, you
17:23
got the best one. Oh, I like when they. So I
17:31
liked, I'm just going to go back to this episode
17:34
when they were talking about Pompeii or whatever
17:37
after the Vesuvius explosion. And they're talking
17:42
about all the dicks and stuff that they had to
17:43
chisel off of stuff when archaeologists went.
17:46
Now there's apparently just some big museum or
17:49
like warehouse full of stolen dicks. We put our
17:53
top men on it. And now stolen. It works perfectly.
17:58
Again, how just. abhorrently puritanical do you
18:01
have to be it's like oh this ancient long dead
18:03
civilization this is beautiful censor all of
18:06
it yeah take all the dicks off get rid of the
18:08
graffiti nobody should know what a dick is did
18:12
they use the description awashed in dicks Like
18:17
we said earlier, everyone's been nasty for this
18:20
whole time. Everyone's also been trying to censor
18:21
things for a long time. So that was just their
18:24
version of censoring at the time. Wait, are you
18:26
telling me that people want to fuck? Yeah, I
18:29
sure am. Weird. When you look at the. titles
18:34
of all the episodes on netflix they're all censored
18:37
except for bitch and damn everything else has
18:42
asterisk even dick well that was the funny one
18:44
to me they were talking about how like the concept
18:46
of censorship with the word dick was really specific
18:48
where it was like if you said dick in a way that
18:51
referred to the genitalia it was an issue and
18:54
had to be censored but if you said dick like
18:56
that guy's a dick it would be fine so like to
18:59
say my dick is a dick Yes. The first dick would
19:03
have to be bleeped. Yeah. Dumb. I like that every
19:08
time they referenced like a stand up comedian
19:12
or something, if they had a Netflix special,
19:14
they showed parts of the special. If they didn't,
19:17
somebody just described the bit. So they show
19:22
a picture of Patton Oswalt and describe the bit.
19:25
Oh, Netflix. I do like that it got political
19:32
a couple of times in this episode, too. Cage
19:34
saying tricky Dick Nixon, which I know threw
19:39
out. But man, his his delivery on this show was
19:41
so good. It was good. Our dear friend Dick Sweat,
19:45
who won because of his name. So good. I've thought
19:48
about Googling him, but I just don't want to
19:50
know. I like the mystery. It's amazing. And like.
19:54
guaranteed i would have voted for dick sweat
19:56
yeah if i didn't have any skin in the game no
19:59
i especially at 18 are you kidding me yeah i
20:09
was like oh this this guy oh first time voting
20:11
absolutely who cares what all the way first time
20:15
voting make it count dick sweat No other votes.
20:20
Just Dick Sweat. Just the one. Oh, this little
20:22
thing you want passed? I don't care. Only if
20:24
Dick Sweat wants it. This is a weird way to phrase
20:26
this, but there's a dick emergency in that nobody
20:29
is naming their kid's dick anymore. That's what
20:33
I wanted to know. Do you do any dicks? Yeah,
20:36
nobody does. Back to Sean's thing. I know the
20:38
one guy who speaks on the radio. I can't think
20:40
of another dick right now in my life at all.
20:43
I do appreciate that Dick Van Dyke exists. yes
20:46
yes that's fair and he's hanging on he's like
20:49
100 this year like i think that's true he's just
20:51
chugging right along he's got like one of the
20:52
funniest names in history and it's like all right
20:55
cool i gotta stay alive just to make people laugh
20:56
keep the laughter going dick oh yeah i do have
21:03
to agree with uh cage though it was a huge missed
21:07
opportunity not just going with nick i mean suck
21:10
my nick So good. I did like when you talked about
21:13
BNE. Oh, yeah. Big Nick energy. I feel it. I
21:19
feel it all the time. Oh, I know. I understand.
21:21
Nick, I'm Nick. Yeah. That's you feeling your
21:24
big Nick energy. Oh, so back to my earlier question.
21:27
What's your favorite genitalia to draw? I mean,
21:30
what am I most familiar with drawing? Big old
21:33
dicks. Yeah. And I'd love to come up with a different
21:37
answer, but if I was drawing anything, it was
21:38
usually that. yeah not my preferred genitalia
21:41
but definitely the one that i would draw more
21:43
easily like three lines you're way less of a
21:47
weirdo or a creep if somebody just catches you
21:49
drawing a wiener versus if you're just sitting
21:52
there in the back of the room just drawing like
21:55
just a fucking accurate butthole yeah that's
21:58
like no but shaded and everything I was going
22:02
to say vagina, but okay. Kurt Vonnegut nailed
22:05
the butthole drawing forever ago. It's very simple.
22:08
It's a cross and a cross and a cross. It's the
22:11
Claude AI logo. I do have a mildly entertaining
22:16
story about a famous artistic genitalia. Oh,
22:21
okay. Well, I'm here to be mildly entertained.
22:24
George O 'Keefe, famous for painting vaginas.
22:28
a lady i was dating in when i lived in richmond
22:30
virginia was talking about how much she loved
22:32
george o 'keefe i'm like you like vaginas and
22:34
she's like what i'm like she painted vaginas
22:36
like no she didn't like yes she did and then
22:39
she thought about and she's like is that why
22:41
in seventh grade when i did a report on george
22:43
o 'keefe i wasn't allowed to show any of the
22:45
slides i'm like yes Suddenly there's a whole
22:50
bunch of boys popping boners in a fucking basic
22:53
class. They go from, oh, that's cool to, oh,
22:56
wait a minute. I've changed. Are flowers hot?
23:01
They are. Can I get a hall pass? I was going
23:07
to say, if I was going to name my Dick after
23:09
Nick Cage movie, Red Rock West. Because for some
23:11
reason, it always points west. A little too close
23:15
to the red rocket, but that'll work. Yeah. I
23:18
think it's time for the next word. Oh, okay.
23:20
Gone in 60 seconds also would have been good.
23:24
Too accurate for me. You guys make it 60? I mean,
23:29
yeah, but you got to stop for breaks. Yeah, good
23:31
point. All right, everyone. Our next word. Damn.
23:36
Damn. Damn. Just watching. Damn. God damn. Watching.
23:43
Just looking at the titles of these episodes
23:45
from the start and it ending with damn, I was
23:48
just like, that seems so quaint. Yeah, it does.
23:52
Yeah. They referred to it as the mildest word
23:55
in our Bulgarian, which I was like, that is an
23:58
amazing sentence. Yeah. I should start keeping
24:01
a journal just called a Bulgarian where I start
24:04
just writing down new curse words that I hear.
24:06
Just anything that comes out of. any of our mouths
24:09
at any time. That's so good. Yeah, a lot of minor
24:12
PG, but there you get some other pretty, pretty
24:14
good ones. One thing I forgot to mention about
24:16
Dick, Shittered Fucklin was said during that
24:18
episode too. That's one that would have to be
24:20
in the Bulgarian now. Yeah, Fucklin's such a
24:23
great name. Fucklin is a great name. Fuck Franklin.
24:25
I want a Fucklin. I do want that context for
24:28
those names because Dick's the only like swear
24:32
word you can name a kid. He's like, no one's
24:34
named Shitter or Fuckland. Shitter, do your homework.
24:37
Fuckland. Inside voice. Dick, pipe down. You
24:45
might call him an eight -year -old. That's weird.
24:47
Okay, anyway, back to Dick. Dick, stuff it. Talking
24:51
about Phil's backpack. Leave him alone. Oh, yeah,
24:53
yeah, yeah. So I like the damn episode because
24:56
it did bring up the specific phrase about minced
24:59
oats. Yes. Which is one of the main reasons that
25:01
we wanted Bill on for this show. Yeah. Because
25:04
you are kind of the master when you're at work.
25:07
yes of minced oats which is just kind of like
25:10
taking a fuck swear kind of concept and turning
25:14
it into a fudge yeah right hamburgers yeah and
25:22
i because i've taught swim lessons for like 20
25:25
years and obviously working at a spot now where
25:27
a i'm kind of i'm the weekday face of the place
25:30
and we have kids that come in it can't be dropping
25:33
you know fuck bombs the whole time so it's like
25:35
all right let's try and and people thought it
25:37
was funny so i was like all right i'll roll with
25:39
it i don't mind playing up the bit but uh yeah
25:42
it's uh mince mince oath i'd never heard that
25:45
before so that is freaking fantastic it's a great
25:47
phrase yeah i really like that but what i thought
25:50
was interesting too about damn is there was the
25:53
only one and i'm gonna butcher this so help me
25:55
get through where Everything else is like a body
25:58
part, whereas this is, if you damn someone, it's
26:02
actually one of the worst things you could do
26:04
right now. Sarah Silverman points out, if you
26:06
believe in hell. But if I say, Sean, damn you,
26:10
I just sent your soul away for the rest of time
26:13
over you cutting me off in traffic. So damn is
26:18
very soft for a swear, but if you really think
26:21
about what you're telling somebody to do. It's
26:24
kind of a big deal. Whereas if you just call
26:25
someone a piece of shit, it's like, OK, it's
26:30
kind of it's different. Yeah, the historical
26:33
context of it, like especially coming from the
26:36
church. It's like, yeah, when when you think
26:38
that at the end of all this, there's either like
26:41
pure bliss or like fiery, like pain. That one
26:46
sings a lot more. Yeah, big time. Yeah. I like
26:49
that they also, like with the church, gave us
26:51
God's Bones. Yeah, I know. God's Bones. That
26:55
one feels so good. I like saying that a lot.
26:58
I think I want to bring that in. God's Bones.
27:02
I really like saying God damn it, but now I really
27:05
want to say God's Bones. It has power. Yeah,
27:08
it does. I like that one. You're doing something
27:10
bad to God, too. Like, holy smokes. Yeah, he'd
27:13
just reach up and take his bones when you say
27:14
that. Yeah, I thought there was a lot of bone
27:17
jokes they could have all made at that point.
27:19
Maybe they just cut him out. Frigging bonies.
27:25
But yeah, bringing the religion into it was interesting
27:26
because I remember growing up, I always had to
27:29
get the clean version or you just listen to music
27:30
on the radio. And they'd always take God out
27:33
of the song when a rapper would say, God damn.
27:35
And it always threw me off. I was like, God's
27:38
a good word and dams. not great but and they
27:41
don't take god out 98 of the other times that
27:44
they reference god in rap because what if was
27:47
one of us like what a weird blank that would
27:51
be so i i thought it was interesting to kind
27:55
of get that context too and see where that actually
27:57
does take you from maybe pg to pg -13 because
28:00
god is being is damning you I shared a compilation,
28:04
Sean, with some people on Signal of every dammit
28:08
used in 24 by Jack Bauer and everybody else.
28:11
But it's just a lot of Kiefer Sutherland like
28:14
crouching. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Or every
28:18
once in a while, his daughter being chased by
28:20
a cougar because it happened, I think, twice
28:22
in the show. Amazing. Wait, dumb question. A
28:26
real cougar? Yeah, like a mountain lion. OK,
28:29
like in the first episode, there was a mountain
28:31
lion problem. OK, but also, did it happen in
28:35
the same season? Because that's technically the
28:37
same day. No, that's separate. Oh, that's true.
28:40
Good point. Yeah. Holy shit. That's too many
28:42
cougar encounters. I have to say, the writers
28:44
must have been running out of ideas or something.
28:46
Like, oh, it's the cougar from season one. It's
28:49
come back. It's a terrorist now, too. Cougar
28:52
revenge. It has yellow cake. poor alicia cuthbert's
28:57
like have her finger to her ear like oh tell
28:59
me what to do with this cougar now damn it it's
29:01
a cougar yeah damn it damn it damn it so this
29:05
episode it like obviously didn't have like a
29:07
ton of meat to it right because it's like it's
29:09
it's about the end of a life cycle of a swear
29:12
right it's like how any bad word can kind of
29:14
become normal right yeah but i did like when
29:18
they talked about other countries swears oh yes
29:20
yeah the one from germany i really liked the
29:23
arschgeiger which is butt violin i really liked
29:29
the russian one for P -hole dandruff? Yeah, what
29:35
the fuck? And I thought it was a really good
29:38
curse for the people of South Africa. Oh, yeah,
29:41
the Afrikaners? Yes. Have scratchy balls and
29:44
have fish hooks for fingers? Yeah, you're starting
29:46
to fish hooks and your balls begin to itch. That's
29:51
solid. We don't have that here. No, we need some
29:55
classier swears. No, we just say, fuck you. Yeah.
29:59
and then move on with our day suck my dick yeah
30:02
suck my nick yeah we got a new one now so that's
30:06
good can you think of any like local colloquial
30:08
like swears that you've come across in your time
30:11
like the closest i could think of is like being
30:13
in richmond like in the south you have like you
30:15
know the n -word oh four and a half years don't
30:26
get canceled now i got like two episodes left
30:28
come on gotta get the madden uh but like bless
30:31
your heart is like is nice uh southern lady for
30:34
you know go fuck yourself oh yeah for sure closest
30:36
i could come to is my mom was a nurse and if
30:40
the baby was ugly the nurse was like, yeah, I'll
30:43
just be like, that's a baby. And it's like, it's
30:47
a baby. So yeah, you did it. And it's like, I'm
30:52
not going to call it a beautiful baby. There's
30:54
no way, but that's, that's the closest one I
30:56
can come to in my life. You can't lie to a new
30:58
mother. They know. Exactly. Well, that's not
31:01
a lie. That is a baby. I feel like getting told,
31:04
yeah, no, let's do that is very much a no, fuck
31:08
you. I'm not doing this. Fucking get lost. I
31:11
don't want to see you. I'll put it on the list.
31:13
Yeah, I'll try. Yeah, that's that's another good,
31:17
good, passive Northwestern. But that's probably
31:21
brought over by our like Midwestern. Oh, absolutely.
31:25
Transplant. Absolutely. Yeah. No, let's do that.
31:28
Yeah, the passive aggressive bullshit. Midwest
31:31
nice. All right, Peter's definitely not coming
31:34
to that thing. He said, yeah, I think I can try
31:36
and make it. Oh, he's not coming. Just get one
31:39
less seat. Oh my God, I learned the best new
31:42
term the other day. I learned the term Irish
31:44
hello. Yeah. What is the, how does that work?
31:48
The Irish hello is you don't go to the party,
31:50
but the next day you talk to, you like talk to
31:53
people like you were there. And you're just like,
31:55
oh, that's pretty tough. They were so drunk that
31:58
they don't remember talking to you. Oh, that's
32:02
fantastic. I was there the whole time. That's
32:06
very much a Melima move. That is a Melima move.
32:08
That's good. I was here the whole time. Amazing.
32:13
I'm like, that's amazing. She's the one I sent
32:16
you the photo of that said they had the Malort
32:18
shirt on. Malort, these pants aren't going to
32:20
shit themselves. Did they participate in the
32:26
largest or most? consecutive malort shots or
32:30
whatever that happened the other day holy smokes
32:32
i'm not asked oh yeah they were trying to set
32:35
a uh if anybody's unaware malort was trying to
32:39
set a guinness record for most simultaneous shots
32:42
of malort shots of malort of malort at one time
32:47
and it feels like that record wouldn't be that
32:49
hard to do like i don't know but it was maybe
32:51
it was like of algal but regardless my lord was
32:54
putting out a worldwide call like at this time
32:58
everyone take a shot yeah yeah like there's a
33:00
window but it's like we're we're gonna all take
33:02
shots man the internet really helps that kind
33:05
of a thing for the it really does yeah otherwise
33:07
can you imagine the mailing campaign for that
33:09
fuck man okay all right time zones make sure
33:11
you calculate yeah we have to plan it out at
33:13
least three weeks ahead yeah pictures were time
33:16
stamped at least so you know you know when they
33:18
took the shot so you can send the picture and
33:19
then it was done yeah All right. More thoughts
33:21
on damn or are we moving on? Hmm. Hitting that
33:25
pocket. It's about damn time. Yeah. I think generally
33:28
24 did it best. That's my opinion. All right.
33:32
We are on to the next word. It is shit. Okay.
33:39
Sugar. It is shit time, everyone. This is my
33:41
second shit of the episode. Also, my God, like.
33:45
Calling it sugar and honey and iced tea is repulsive.
33:50
Yeah. I mean, I already... Honey bucket makes
33:53
sense now in that context. I don't care for honey
33:55
or iced tea. Like sweet tea. Oh, yeah. Oh, sweet
33:58
tea's so bad. Yeah. I genuinely love this episode
34:01
because I learned so much. Like... Yes. In old
34:04
Roman times, we'd all be sitting next to each
34:07
other having a good shit. Oh, yeah. With your
34:10
rag on a stick. Yeah, we could we could sit here
34:13
doing the podcast and I'll be sitting on our
34:14
own toilet. So great. Have you ever seen photos
34:17
of those like tandem toilets for like the his
34:21
and hers? So you could like be shitting across
34:24
from each other. and like hold hands didn't megan
34:27
trainer say that she and her husband do that
34:29
that's just so weird i'm not in i'm okay so i've
34:35
i've talked about this uh with some folks before
34:37
i'm maybe even on the podcast but josie and i
34:39
went to a uh october fest down at one of the
34:42
local casinos a couple years in a row and first
34:46
year we go down there and like we're there for
34:48
a buddy's birthday and get a room and then we
34:51
find out that there's a spa room and it's like
34:52
oh shit next year Let's get the room with the
34:55
spa. So I booked my room the next year and then
34:59
we get out there and it turns out I I booked
35:01
for the wrong weekend. So we didn't get the spa
35:04
room. They were able to get us a normal room,
35:06
but we didn't get the spa room with the jacuzzi
35:08
and stuff. So year three, we go back out there
35:11
and I get the spa room. We get it. We show up
35:15
and I walk into the bathroom. And it's like,
35:18
okay, yeah, here's the jacuzzi tub and everything.
35:20
Here's the toilet. And I'm standing at the toilet
35:22
and I look over and it's just open. No window,
35:25
nothing. Just an open hole that leads like, or
35:29
is it space leading straight into the room? And
35:31
it's like, there's no separation at all. There's
35:34
a door. to the bathroom for some reason but from
35:37
the bed you can still just make eye contact while
35:39
taking a crap oh yeah and i think josie and i
35:43
had been maybe dating for like four years or
35:44
something which is not nearly long enough in
35:47
my opinion 20 years is still too soon yeah and
35:51
so we had to like take turns standing in the
35:54
hallway when people would have to shit or something
35:56
it's like i once stayed with uh and i was still
36:01
dating helen in my 20s uh they really liked cheap
36:05
vacations so we stayed at a lot of hostels and
36:08
i got to the point where i'm like we need a private
36:10
room i'm not fucking doing this shit anymore
36:12
so and i'm like and i want a private bathroom
36:14
we were in canada and i'm like i i'm a shy pooper
36:17
i can't be like i can't be stalling it so we
36:20
got fucking uh toronto chinatown hostel bed shower
36:26
toilet closet and shower toilet just had a shower
36:32
curtain oh goodness gracious okay no toilet paper
36:36
yeah i guess it all rinses off yeah uh i had
36:41
uh but because the toilet was also a shower the
36:45
toilet paper was like on the outside of the curtain
36:47
yeah you want to give it a try i got really bad
36:50
food poisoning and i don't i'm again shy and
36:53
i don't want any i like again and i was just
36:56
like so i just got in there and i just turned
36:58
on the shower because i needed to drown out that
37:04
another person was in the room and you did the
37:08
old waffle stump What's a waffle stump? I'm afraid
37:11
to ask. That's where you stomp the poop through
37:14
the drain hole in the shower. No, it was the
37:17
toilet. No, the toilet was in the shower in this
37:19
case, but yeah, no waffle stomping. But I'm assuming
37:22
like the shower has a drain too, yeah? Yeah,
37:24
but I was sitting on a toilet. Oh, see, in my
37:27
mind, you were so sick with the food poisoning,
37:30
you just got in the shower because you knew it
37:31
was going to get on everything. he didn't shit
37:36
so there was a joke i used to hear uh back in
37:39
the day and it was just one of those stupid like
37:41
oh this or that gotchas and it's like uh bill
37:45
do you know the difference between toilet paper
37:47
and a shower curtain what is the difference oh
37:49
so you're the one it's just stupid it's a stupid
37:55
joke that stupid children say but it's like oh
37:57
you wipe your ass with a shower curtain who fucking
38:00
does that like that doesn't sound comfortable
38:02
I didn't come from a family that had money for
38:05
cloth shower curtains. I'm sorry. Mine was vinyl.
38:09
Exactly. Good for scraping. No length of relationship
38:13
is enough to see another person poop. The same
38:15
ex used to pick the lock of the bathroom door
38:18
when I was in the shower if she had to shit.
38:21
And there's a reason that that person is an ex.
38:24
This happened enough times where I got to the
38:27
point where I would bring in a chair to the bathroom
38:29
with me so I could like yeah do it that's right
38:32
it's like nah no privacy i hated it have i told
38:36
the story about like throwing pine cones at my
38:38
buddy sean in the like latrine or like the outhouse
38:42
on camping this sean no no no uh so back in the
38:45
boy scouts i was out camping it was a you know
38:48
scout thing and uh there was this one like latrine
38:52
outhouse thing and it didn't have like a lock
38:55
on the door so my buddy sean was in there and
38:58
he was taking a crap and i'm sorry he was taking
39:00
a shit let's be real and so i would like pop
39:04
the door open and throw like the the green really
39:07
hard pine cones at him and i was just pelting
39:10
him with any pants down and good and then eventually
39:14
he had enough pine cones in there that he could
39:15
fight back so like the door would open I would
39:19
throw a couple and he would throw some and I
39:20
would dodge to the side. We came again. One time
39:23
I'm like throwing the pine cones and then I dodged
39:26
to the side. And I mean, this house had been
39:29
there long enough that the hole, I guess, had
39:31
eroded and they just put some plywood out to
39:34
kind of cover up the whole portion. And the plywood
39:39
was old enough, I guess, because it broke. And
39:41
I'm running around the side and the plywood breaks
39:43
and I catch. I do not go in. I catch. I am close
39:49
to dangling over. I am dangling over poop. And
39:53
I just look up and I see the hole in Sean's ass
39:56
and just a turd falls out of his ass. And I'm
40:00
screaming in terror as I watch poop literally
40:04
fall. Watching shit literally fall out of my
40:07
buddy Sean's ass with the knowledge that if I
40:13
can't. Get out. And if I if nobody hears me,
40:16
I'm going in the shit, too. It was terrifying.
40:25
Ten of ten would would recommend this game. It's
40:29
a lot of fun if you have an outhouse near your
40:31
place. I think I think you killed Bill. Yeah,
40:34
we still have one more word, though. We have
40:36
two more words. Yeah. How are we going to finish
40:39
this show? I know we got to go faster. This episode,
40:43
it wasn't this episode, but this show finally
40:46
like confirmed something that we always thought
40:49
was just a mishearing in the 1980s Transformer
40:54
movie. They say shit in that film. Yeah, they
40:57
get a shit and a damn in there. Shit and a damn.
41:00
Yeah. To fuck censorship. Yeah. Yeah. They didn't
41:03
want that G rating. Yeah, that's pretty cool.
41:06
Who says shit in that? I don't know. I'll have
41:09
to rewatch it. Starscream? Probably. I can see
41:14
Starscream saying, it's not Optimus Prime. No.
41:16
No way. Autobots. Shit. Shit out. R .I .P. Peter
41:24
Cullen. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Bill, tell
41:28
us a shit story. What's your favorite poo story?
41:32
I've given two now. I was going to say absolutely
41:34
nothing is going to stop what I just said. It
41:38
was Spike Witwicky who says, oh shit, which makes
41:41
sense because Transformers don't eat a shit.
41:44
I don't even know what that is probably. They've
41:45
done their research, but come on. Can you imagine
41:49
just like tinier Energon cubes falling out of
41:51
them? I imagine everything comes in cubes. Like
41:54
they pee cubes. Rapid fire, yeah. Oh, man, I
41:59
loved how they got drunk when they drank Energon
42:02
cubes. They just cracked them open like beers
42:04
and drank cubes in that cartoon. And then they
42:07
just get wacky. Just a bunch of Decepticons getting
42:10
fucked on Energon. That's so perfect. All right.
42:15
I think I've recovered a little bit. So one of
42:18
the couple of quotes I did like from this, though,
42:20
was it Offerman, I think, that said, shit is
42:23
bringing a knife to a gunfight. Oh, yeah. It
42:26
doesn't have quite the punch of fuck, which kind
42:29
of goes back to what you were saying earlier,
42:30
Peter, about like words tend to go away after
42:33
a little bit or lose their. lose their clout
42:36
yeah right whereas and like they said i think
42:38
the damn episode i forgot to bring this up um
42:40
how all of our young people now are afraid of
42:44
more slurs than they are of shit or fuck for
42:46
sure so as they become parents if they do um
42:50
those words are going to be the bad ones and
42:52
we'll be able to drop a fuck on barney so i think
42:56
uh said recently that uh Who just turned three,
43:02
dropped her first fuck you. To him? I don't know.
43:07
I didn't get any further into that one. I was
43:10
just like, ah. Busy laughing and picturing. I
43:13
mean. fun fun enough to pictures saying that
43:17
absolutely i will say so shit was the first swear
43:21
i ever like dropped in front of my father he
43:24
was helping me with homework or something and
43:26
i said shit and he's like standing over he's
43:27
like where did you learn that i just looked up
43:29
at him and i pointed up at him i learned it by
43:31
watching you and then he just went well fuck
43:34
shit I think the big like wild discovery for
43:40
me, and maybe I've revealed this before, but
43:42
like my mom is a sailor. Like she swears like
43:47
a motherfucker. Yeah. Loves it, loves it, loves
43:51
it. And for years I was like terrified of swearing
43:55
around her because I was like, mom is like puritanical.
43:59
Like there's no way that she wants to hear me
44:01
say shit. You know, like she would say like.
44:04
if i lied to her she'd be like that's horse pucky
44:06
you know like that kind of thing and it was like
44:10
when i turned 30 or something she was just like
44:12
oh no your dad just didn't like when i sweared
44:14
around you guys when you were younger like i
44:16
fucking love swearing it's great now my mom and
44:20
i just like on a car ride chatting swearing our
44:23
asses off it's all the way opened up i love that
44:25
i have acknowledged to myself that uh I definitely
44:30
swear a lot more than my parents. And I think
44:34
they notice it, too. And like, it's just kind
44:39
of awkward. And it's just like, oh, I just I.
44:44
I can't separate my speech that way because these
44:47
words don't mean shit to me. It fucking doesn't
44:49
matter. I'm just going to talk the way I talk.
44:52
It's a comma, you know? Yeah. Yeah. It's whatever.
44:55
Maybe during Christmas, you can do mint swearing
44:57
around them or something. Give them a little
45:00
Christmas present. Rachel's parents. Yes. My
45:04
parents, I don't care anymore. Now that I know
45:06
that my mom is on my side, yes. I used to hide
45:08
a three -foot wooden penis in the Christmas tree
45:11
at my parents' house every year. So I don't think
45:14
Christmas necessitates any reduction in swearing.
45:18
That makes sense. Do they find it every year?
45:20
It's a three -foot black wooden penis with veins.
45:24
So yes. Is it also like a horn? I wish. So in
45:31
high school, I did a film class and I. it's more
45:34
of a teachery do sound it's just a rain stick
45:38
come on it's soothing uh no it was a prop for
45:44
a movie about a goblin and i'm not gonna get
45:48
into too many details um i did paint my whole
45:50
body green though and that was pretty cool that
45:52
is pretty cool the ultimate uh end was that i
45:55
was gonna build a harness for it so i could wear
45:57
it but we had to work around that because i did
46:00
not plan enough time for myself in these things
46:03
Disappointing. So then you just hide it in the
46:04
tree. Makes sense. Yeah, I had it for years afterwards.
46:07
I gave it to Hayden. Oh, it's the fantasy football
46:10
one. Okay, I was going to ask that. So I've seen
46:13
that. I've held it. You've seen Nick's big wooden
46:18
veiny dick? I've seen Nick's big black wooden
46:22
veiny dick. I really have. And on to our next
46:24
word. Well, let us do it. Let's see. We've got
46:28
two more left. Sorry, I kind of got in there
46:31
a little bit. No, it's OK. I don't think there's
46:33
anything weird in there. Still laughing from
46:34
that story you told. Just my wiener. Yeah. Or
46:37
your pussy. Oh! Zing! Wait, hit me with that
46:41
one more time. Your pussy. Pussy got all. Is
46:45
it quivering with complexity and strength? Always.
46:49
I did like the Nick Cage lines, like, it also
46:52
means cat. yeah at the end oh this one was another
46:58
interesting history of the word because it started
47:01
off as just being like cat and then it's like
47:04
a fetching lady you might like yeah you call
47:08
your girlfriend or your wife pussy at that point
47:10
it's like that sounds different now but okay
47:13
it's a strange one i don't have a i don't think
47:17
i have good uh sexy time talk Oh, no, neither
47:22
do I. Yeah, no, none of our Sean. Do you have
47:25
good sexy time talk? Do you know how to like
47:27
talk to a woman and like make it hot? It's OK.
47:30
I see you. No, my go to is please don't talk.
47:34
It humanizes you. Oh, yeah. OK, good. I've said
47:40
that to a stripper before. No, I mean, I've been
47:43
kicked out of strip clubs, too. I understand.
47:45
I've seen me. Sean's in Portland now. Hey. If
47:50
you're lucky, you could get kicked out of the
47:51
same strip clubs I got kicked out of. Then we'd
47:54
have a story. That's a different type of brothers.
47:59
It's just the A crop. Oh, you don't get the steak
48:02
anymore? Is your photo up there? My photo? Oh,
48:05
I highly doubt it. It would be a really bad photo.
48:08
Oh, man, I wish I could see what I looked like
48:10
back then. I was just talking to my girlfriend
48:12
about what I wanted for dinner, and I was texting
48:15
under the table. on my flip phone and this driver
48:20
was like hey you can't take photos i'm like i
48:22
wouldn't take photos of you bitch and then i
48:25
got walked out oh walked out you didn't get jazzy
48:28
jeffed out so no no i'm i'm far too compliant
48:32
no more acropolis for you I mean, I didn't like
48:37
it anyways. They pre -cut the steak. It's a super
48:40
thin steak. I mean, it's just kind of shitty.
48:42
You get plastic cutlery. Fuck that. For danger
48:46
reasons, I'm sure. When you could just go across
48:48
the parking lot to Casa Diablo and have a very
48:53
nice vegan salad bar and menu. And... Wait, strippers
49:01
too? I don't know if the strippers are vegan.
49:06
are they at least free range uh well that i also
49:10
cannot confirm i never saw any of them outside
49:13
of the club it's getting a portlandia episode
49:16
up in here now yeah uh i also don't want i did
49:20
say pussy but uh quim whiskers did anybody else
49:22
uh that's with some of the other ones uh that's
49:25
that's a main one i wrote down i did write dumb
49:28
quim whiskers too yeah that was the one that
49:30
cecily bum trinket is the one that really stood
49:32
out to me well and jim jeffrey's going off about
49:36
it afterward well it is next to the bum so it
49:39
kind of is like a drink right on top uh i always
49:43
liked ham wallet yeah all of it's good yeah they
49:46
talk about some of that in the etymology right
49:48
like the purse references oh yeah that kind of
49:51
stuff you know yeah it was interesting is that
49:54
taco is interesting growing up taco yeah oh yeah
49:57
yeah it's got the shape you understand changes
50:00
tuesdays yes i mean that's it yeah big time avoid
50:05
the cheese uh when i got back from my uh trip
50:09
uh to california to uh an empty house after my
50:12
marriage ended the dog had a new toy which was
50:16
that of a squeaky fish taco oh boy fucking way
50:20
to twist the knife morgan yeah yeah way to really
50:23
drive it in um i did like i think it was sarah
50:27
silverman was talking about how uh she was just
50:29
sort of like everyone talks about like the delicacy
50:32
of pussy or something you know it's like oh it's
50:35
so you know whatever it's like ball sacks are
50:38
fucking fragile as hell they're they're fabergé
50:41
eggs they're like oh i got too cold i'm gonna
50:43
snuggle up to the body yeah pussies are powerful
50:46
she also talked about like masturbating to the
50:49
word pussy yeah yeah like wow okay but that was
50:54
forbidden back then so it makes sense right no
50:56
it does i mean it's like everything feels so
51:00
like immense when you were just learning about
51:02
it yeah i remember that oh big time Yeah, I agree
51:07
with you, though. I guess I agree with her. It's
51:09
like this thing literally can have a human leave
51:12
through it. And we're saying that that's weak.
51:14
But meanwhile, somebody just nut taps me and
51:17
I'm down for three days. Your dog has fucked
51:19
me up. Yes, he has. It's like, all right, everybody,
51:23
cup up. Jarvis is coming. He loves punching ball
51:26
sacks. He is the perfect type to do it. But yeah,
51:30
that was the other thing that really stuck out
51:31
to me about this episode. It was like Sarah Silverman
51:33
calling that out. I was like, thank you. Okay.
51:36
Yeah. It's certainly been noted. that uh it's
51:40
just backwards it is definitely backwards yeah
51:43
but at the same time i call people a ball sack
51:47
all the time too but i feel like that's almost
51:49
out of love yeah if i were really trying to like
51:54
degrade someone i don't think i would call them
51:56
a ball sack but i don't know what i would call
51:57
them I go with taint. I like taint. Yes. Taint's
52:01
pretty good. Chode's pretty good. Oh, yeah. The
52:04
nickname is Dirty Inch, for crying out loud.
52:06
You're not calling somebody a clean thing. Dirty
52:09
Inch. Heard that back in high school. That was
52:12
eye -opening for a little Catholic boy. Okay,
52:15
so this is also one of those words that I don't
52:17
use a lot. It's up there with bitch. I don't
52:20
use it a lot. I don't use it. Again, cunt is
52:23
right there. Sexy -like, yeah. Yeah, cunt works
52:26
so much better. you know what word really grosses
52:30
me out and you probably haven't heard this since
52:32
like the early 90s 80s when you were last in
52:35
your dad's uh porno like letters to hustler cunny
52:40
oh gross yeah referring to it i don't like it
52:45
i don't like that no cunny it doesn't yeah oh
52:50
well it just sounds gross i don't like it i don't
52:53
like like the diminutive of that is like we don't
52:58
need that absolutely not i could do with that
53:00
no bad news bears yeah i don't like this word
53:04
yeah it doesn't do it for me cecily bum trinket
53:07
that's pretty good yeah that's pretty good nice
53:09
to hear the history and move on i think we should
53:11
bring that one back From now on, we're only using
53:15
bum trinkets. That's going to make sexy talk
53:17
a lot more confusing. Especially in this day
53:21
and age. There's a lot of bum trinkets. Bum trinket
53:25
sounds like a butt plug, but like one of those
53:28
ones with like a crystal on the back. Yeah. One
53:33
of those fancy ones. Rank your plugs. Ear. Ear
53:40
plug. Okay. Those are the ones that get the most
53:42
use. Toilet plug. You have a toilet plug? Well,
53:45
I mean, I know that you can plug up a toilet,
53:47
right? With shit, yeah. Nick knows. I actually
53:53
clog very few toilets because I operate a poop
53:57
knife. Oh, poop knife, that's right. I have it
54:00
right here. Did you use it tonight? No, this
54:05
was a quick and out. All right. That's good.
54:07
I'm relieved weirdly. Actually, it's mostly probably.
54:10
Yeah. He's very not weirdly relieved. It's a
54:13
good feeling. All right. Is it time? I believe
54:17
it's it. And I'm kind of pleased that this is
54:19
the one that we're going out on. Yeah. I'm not
54:22
even going to make you reach for it. I think
54:23
we all know. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Ending on the
54:31
king. It is the best. It is the best. Does feel
54:35
good to say. One of the loudest swears I did
54:37
in front of my younger brother for the first
54:38
time, the Seahawks had just lost a really bad
54:40
playoff game. And I was still very much in my,
54:43
I'm going to be stupidly emotional about this.
54:45
and just yelled it at the top of my lungs. So,
54:48
last week? Shut up, Sean. He didn't play last
54:52
week. It was last week. Yeah, don't let Sean
54:54
goad you into football anger. Sean doesn't know
54:57
what's going on. Wait, wait. I just realized
55:00
something, and I sent this to Hayden, and he
55:02
never got back to me, so Hayden might be mad
55:03
at me. I was just like, Hayden, why do you hate
55:08
the Mariners so much? They're the only team who's
55:09
never lost a World Series game. Why would you
55:11
take that from them? You know, that's that's
55:14
a good point. It sucks, but it's a good point.
55:18
But yeah, I yelled at the top of my lungs and
55:21
it was like I think it was a similar moment for
55:23
both of us because he and his friend were like,
55:25
oh, my gosh, did he just do that? And I was like,
55:27
yeah, that was a bad loss. So it is the best
55:30
one, which is I find it weird that they started
55:33
there. I know. So I was thinking about this for
55:36
the sequencing of this show. It does kind of
55:38
make sense. It's the banger, right? Yeah. It
55:42
is the highest rated episode. Because if you
55:43
had started with damn. You got nothing. They're
55:46
not going to. No one's going to keep watching
55:47
that show. Right. Right. You've got Nick Cage
55:49
being able to like indulge in saying fuck a billion
55:52
different ways to start it off. You've got comedians
55:55
just laughing and having a great time with it.
55:57
It's the introduction to like all the people
55:59
like it makes sense why they did it. But I do
56:03
think that this is the crown jewel and it should
56:06
have definitely been episode six and not episode
56:08
one. Yeah. I don't know. The thematic way. I'm
56:12
ultimately fine with him going last because of
56:14
how they like cap, because it is a word that
56:17
really no longer has the power that it did that
56:20
where they're just like, I like that capstone
56:22
on the show, but I think, yeah, you build up
56:26
to fuck. yeah that's that's your end because
56:28
you kind of hit a grand slam in the first inning
56:30
and then you just kind of right you trickled
56:32
out the rest of the way and i yeah the wrapping
56:33
it up with the history of swearing was was good
56:35
but but yeah when you're building a comedy show
56:38
your second best joke goes first and your best
56:40
joke goes last so maybe you open with shit and
56:42
you finish with fuck yeah i'm with you so i that
56:46
said it it definitely was the best episode so
56:49
also one of my favorite squares shit fuck yeah
56:53
classic other well one of mine is if i'm dropping
56:56
something or something's like slowly going bad
57:00
like like cleveland watching the the oh yeah
57:02
the bathtub uh mine ends up being fuck fuck fuck
57:07
balls it's just always a balls but a little ball
57:11
capper uh i like the layout of this uh for the
57:15
most part you know i i don't think i would change
57:18
really anything if i looked at it like two sides
57:20
of an album uh you're gonna pull me in with fuck
57:25
and then you're gonna like shit and bitch are
57:28
pretty good those are good words i like saying
57:30
those uh on the second half of it you get right
57:35
in with dick highly entertaining episode pussy
57:39
pretty informative uh pretty pretty interesting
57:42
and then damn is just kind of the the end it
57:45
yeah it's uh the cool down That makes sense.
57:48
I mean, that's a good perspective on it. Ends
57:50
with a period instead of an exclamation point,
57:52
but that's okay in this case. Good old Kendrick
57:53
Lamar. Yes, exactly. We didn't bring up the fact
57:56
that he's got an album named that. It would have
57:58
been totally bleeped out 20 years ago. True enough.
58:02
Tipper Gore. Yeah, overstepping a bit. That was
58:07
one thing I thought was interesting, too. They
58:09
went over who said it the most in movies. How
58:12
the hell is Sam Jackson number three? Are you
58:15
kidding me? And Jonah Hill? Jonah Hill being
58:17
number one swear master. At that time, for sure.
58:21
Yeah, that was a couple of years ago. So maybe
58:24
Sam saw that and was like, no, no, no, no, no.
58:27
Mostly due to the Wolf of Wall Street, his role
58:29
in the Wolf of Wall Street. Yeah, yeah. Wolf
58:31
of Wall Street and the movie he did right after
58:33
that. I can't remember the title of it. The Fuck
58:36
Shit Boys? The Fuck Shit Boys, exactly. 90 and...
58:42
you know wall street was like 107 or something
58:44
like that it's a high swear density yeah well
58:47
wall street was like three hours long he had
58:49
a lot of time to swear in that movie but it was
58:51
like based on screen time as well oh it's also
58:55
putting the thumb on the on the scale for the
58:58
whole uh for the fuck of it all ha ha ha yes
59:09
So some of the clips in these episodes are really
59:12
like corny. The ones that are not just comedians,
59:14
but they were doing this like, you know, the
59:17
theory was that fuck was an acronym and, you
59:19
know, fornication under the consent of the king
59:21
or whatever. And I did really like the don't
59:26
stop. I'm almost thither. I'm almost hither.
59:32
Those are pretty good. Yeah, that was the only
59:34
one that like really got me. But yeah. It's like,
59:37
oh, no, wait, you're allowed to fuck. Oh, Nick
59:40
Offerman, he's got such a great voice. He really
59:43
does. The voice acting was all pretty entertaining
59:46
for me. The little sketch thingies, I mean, none
59:49
of them were astounding. No. Like the shit one,
59:53
like with the transporting manure above. Oh,
59:58
yeah, right, with the ships. Yeah, so that methane
1:00:00
didn't build up and blow up. It was like, oh.
1:00:04
Just lying to myself about my desires for a high
1:00:07
adventure on the seas and treasure. Just explodes.
1:00:11
I mean, it's fun. It's silly, stupid fun. Well,
1:00:15
and Nick Cage did most of the voices for those,
1:00:17
right? No, that was Offerman. It was Nick Offerman.
1:00:19
Offerman did a lot. Sarah Silverman did at least
1:00:22
one. She did the dick intro. Yeah. Oh, God. And
1:00:26
something else, I think, too. But yeah. Yeah.
1:00:28
OK. The dick intro was really good, too. Yeah.
1:00:31
How many days do you think they had Nick Cage?
1:00:33
One. I think everything was done in one. Yeah,
1:00:36
I think they got all the comedians in one and
1:00:39
then Cage the next day. Yeah. Because then they
1:00:42
could write things for Cage to say based on what
1:00:46
the comedians said. $5 .90 for one day of work.
1:00:49
Good for him, man. Get that Netflix money. I'm
1:00:53
sure it was one day for all the live interstitials
1:00:57
and then got him in a sound booth for all the
1:00:59
narration. yeah i'm sure all voiceover and like
1:01:02
looping and stuff that had to happen was just
1:01:04
like a separate day but after you've been able
1:01:07
to go through everything and check all your audio
1:01:09
and so three days i'm gonna say three days three
1:01:12
days for six episodes well done people yeah well
1:01:15
and that's the thing i don't want to end i don't
1:01:17
i'm not trying to move on from fuck necessarily
1:01:18
but obviously since it was the first episode
1:01:21
cage's look cage's demeanor cage's wow he was
1:01:25
he captured me like right away with the way he
1:01:27
did this and oh in the suit yes nice sharp hair
1:01:31
and freshly dyed beard dyed beard yes for unbearable
1:01:35
weight of massive talent yeah big nick energy
1:01:38
right there oh it was he was i couldn't look
1:01:43
away when he was on screen like we were joking
1:01:45
earlier it's like oh really bring this part up
1:01:48
or do it You're Nick Cage. We hired you for this
1:01:51
reason. Right. Go crazy. Go ham. Do it. Like
1:01:54
because Peter and I were talking about it the
1:01:56
other day and he was like, I kind of wear that.
1:01:58
Maybe it wouldn't be Sam Jackson that would host
1:01:59
something like this. But then you think about
1:02:02
it. It's like, no, this is kind of goofy and
1:02:04
silly. Nicolas Cage is available. He's got a
1:02:08
perfect fit for it. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good
1:02:11
way to kind of put a button on this entire thing
1:02:12
is like, do you think he did a good job as a
1:02:15
host? Do you think that this was the right choice?
1:02:17
Like. overall the show like i think we've got
1:02:19
our our gripes with it but you know for the most
1:02:22
part not a bad way to spend two hours no i'm
1:02:25
watching all the episodes yeah i thought he was
1:02:27
a lot of fun i thought he you know he has that
1:02:30
kind of commanding magnanimous like presence
1:02:32
and i think with sam jackson you have the difference
1:02:36
between sam jackson the actor and sam jackson
1:02:38
the character whereas i don't think you get that
1:02:42
with nick cage i think people just assume that's
1:02:45
him it's far more nebulous like i'm not sure
1:02:48
i'm not sure where it ends sometimes yeah that
1:02:51
is true so yeah yeah nick cage works a lot better
1:02:55
in that regard i agree i think he's a really
1:02:58
good host for this also like as big as he can
1:03:01
be character and energy wise i don't think he
1:03:06
was ever like he didn't detract from the rest
1:03:09
of the show like when he was not on it was fine
1:03:12
yeah like yeah they spliced him in in a nice
1:03:16
way it wasn't like overbearing it was just sort
1:03:18
of like here's a little bit of Nick and yeah
1:03:20
it was balanced too I felt yeah I thought I thought
1:03:23
it was pretty balanced his interaction in it
1:03:24
and I think he brings he also has just such a
1:03:29
weirdly like classy kind of persona behind the
1:03:34
actor like all these times you hear him in interviews
1:03:38
and stuff talking about like old cinema and things
1:03:42
like that. And like old literature combined with
1:03:46
this wild, like personality that he has, it,
1:03:50
it kind of, it feels right to talk about something
1:03:54
historical, but off kilter with Nicholas Cage.
1:03:58
Yeah, I agree. We've seen him play the character,
1:04:02
Nick Cage in the unbearable way to massive talent.
1:04:05
But is this like really the first time we've
1:04:08
seen him just as Nick Cage? Unless he's playing
1:04:12
Nick Cage for this as well. Oh, yeah. That's
1:04:15
where we don't know. Where is the man? Where
1:04:17
does the man begin? Were these shot pretty concurrently
1:04:20
or pretty close together? And the hair wise,
1:04:23
it looks like it, but I don't know. Because then,
1:04:25
yeah, he just has to keep playing the same character
1:04:27
for what, like three months then? Nick Cage in
1:04:30
The Unbearable Way of Massive Talent is N -I
1:04:32
-C -K. It's a different character. that was part
1:04:36
of his writer no i i agree with everything you
1:04:40
guys said he was perfect host for this and he
1:04:42
he captured me while he was on screen and it
1:04:45
was very entertaining watching him the voice
1:04:47
everything was beautiful yeah in the fuck episode
1:04:50
i enjoyed him just spouting out a bunch of classic
1:04:53
like fox and cinema oh yeah but i also really
1:04:57
liked him doing in the damn episode uh oh yeah
1:05:00
frankly my dear i don't give a continental Yeah,
1:05:05
that's the worst one yet. I don't give a hoot.
1:05:10
So I would say good. Yeah, I think, you know,
1:05:13
overall, this is one of those that like when
1:05:15
it first came out, it was back when we had kind
1:05:18
of just started this project. And I watched the
1:05:21
fuck episode and was like, I don't want to do
1:05:24
this right now. Like I'm oversaturated in Nick
1:05:26
Cage anyway. And it didn't it like could not
1:05:29
grab my attention enough. And now you're this
1:05:32
time. Yeah, well, now I'm broken. I can't see
1:05:34
anything that I, you know, doesn't have him in
1:05:36
it that I'm like, could have Nick Cage. But I
1:05:41
still like had a good time with it. It was fun.
1:05:43
It's easy enough. They're consumable. It's quick.
1:05:45
You don't have to watch all of them in, you know,
1:05:48
a two hour window. Great. You know, do it over
1:05:52
a couple nights or whatever. And it's like it's
1:05:54
I will say it's also mostly talking heads. So
1:05:56
like, yeah, you can listen to it as a podcast.
1:05:59
you you really could yeah yes yeah it's easy
1:06:02
to just pick it up here and there i watched it
1:06:05
out of order i did too this time uh when it came
1:06:09
out i had watched it in order but this time i
1:06:11
just put it on as i felt i want to hear about
1:06:14
pussy what's this yep that's the episode yep
1:06:18
and that's the only one you watched just it no
1:06:22
everybody knows i just sat there and watched
1:06:24
dick for three hours just dick dick dick dick
1:06:27
how could i draw better pictures i'll bet this
1:06:30
will tell me how yeah uh probably the world trade
1:06:33
center though sean i think uh oh my god if i
1:06:36
was gonna name my dick after anything it'd be
1:06:38
north tower wait which one came first probably
1:06:45
that one hey well i hope you all had a happy
1:06:51
september 11th never hit Sorry, let me rephrase
1:06:56
that. We've never managed to release on September
1:06:58
11th. We came really close, I feel like, with
1:07:00
the World Trade Center film. We were actually
1:07:02
surprisingly close with that one, but it was
1:07:04
not. I think we recorded right around it, but
1:07:07
then it was like a two week out release. Well,
1:07:10
how do you plan on spending your September 11th?
1:07:14
I guess flying a plane into the Pentagon. I suppose
1:07:18
that's it. You can say whatever you want now
1:07:21
because this will be released afterwards. I'm
1:07:23
going to bleep everything out. That's what editing
1:07:26
is for. It's good. Go to ground zero. Bust one.
1:07:30
Bust two. Go to the Pentagon. You got to bust
1:07:35
two. Yeah. I still contend nobody can have a
1:07:38
more confusing experience at ground zero than
1:07:41
me. I went there like right after 9 -11 to confirm.
1:07:47
And the tour guide was like, he brings us all
1:07:53
up there. I'm like in high school. And he's like,
1:07:58
we stand there for a second. And then he just
1:07:59
looks at me and he's like, high five. Who's gay?
1:08:05
And I'm just sitting there with my hand up. at
1:08:09
ground zero like this fucking new york tour guide
1:08:13
just dropped a who's gay joke on a high schooler
1:08:18
at ground zero within a year of the event wow
1:08:23
you got fucking roasted dude dude he called me
1:08:27
out hard He fucking pushes me in a fucking pussy.
1:08:32
And that's Mayor Momdani, everybody. Yeah, he
1:08:38
got my vote. Yeah, you raised your hand. One
1:08:41
fraudulent vote for Mayor Momdani. Oh, boy -o.
1:08:47
Well, Bill, thanks for joining us for this weird
1:08:50
one. Thanks for having me. It was a lot of fun.
1:08:52
You got any closing words? Anything you want
1:08:54
to plug? Do you want to just, like, swear a bunch?
1:08:56
Just, like, rapid fire? I just can remember,
1:08:59
like, all right, everybody, remember, you go
1:09:00
fuck. Oh, this is a good one. And then you go
1:09:02
shit. And then... Oh, that's a pretty good fuck.
1:09:06
Dick, shit, bitch, damn, pussy. No, Bill, you
1:09:08
say it now. Okay. Fuck, shit, dick, bitch, damn,
1:09:12
pussy. Those are the episode titles. Yeah. Go
1:09:14
watch them. They're fun. Do you have any curse
1:09:17
words that we didn't cover that you'd like to
1:09:20
just give a shout out to? I mean, there's always
1:09:23
ass. Yeah, they didn't touch ass. Nobody touched
1:09:27
ass. Nobody touched ass. Come on, you're missing
1:09:30
out on a big one. I already said cunt and twat.
1:09:33
Well, yeah, cunt and twat, those are good. I
1:09:36
like combining them sometimes. I like twunt.
1:09:40
Twunt, gross. Twunt? I don't like that at all.
1:09:43
A wot sounds gross. They all sound bad. No. Sounds
1:09:47
wet. I don't like it. Shit cunt. That's a good
1:09:51
one. Shit cunt. I don't like any of these. No.
1:09:54
Oh, I love shitting dick nipples. Oh, man. That
1:09:58
is one of my favorite. It's a pretty classic.
1:10:00
It's a classic and a great Internet image. Go
1:10:03
ahead. Google it. Don't shitting dick nipples.
1:10:05
I don't want my history. One of my favorite Internet
1:10:09
funny shows. Keep it classy with. they they're
1:10:13
australian so they talk about like you know cunt
1:10:15
a lot and they were explaining how like for our
1:10:18
american listeners like it's so ubiquitous over
1:10:21
here everyone uses it like you can't be insulted
1:10:23
it's not insulting to be called a cunt here so
1:10:24
you got to add something to it to know so for
1:10:27
people to know you're insulting them hence why
1:10:29
we call each other shit cunt i like that classic
1:10:33
pretty good better do it well if you want to
1:10:37
yell at me for my swearing i work at hill city
1:10:39
tap house down the street so Come grab a beer.
1:10:43
Fantastic. Let's see what swears I actually use.
1:10:47
The more beer you pay for, the more. Oh, you
1:10:50
can get Bill to swear if you give him enough
1:10:52
money. Oh, yeah. Bring it on. And weirdly enough,
1:10:55
you give us money and you come here to swear.
1:10:58
That very true. I'm a sparkly buddy. That's how
1:11:02
my therapist works as well. That's true. Speaking
1:11:06
of, thank you to our Sparkle Buddies, Josh, Josie,
1:11:08
Matt, Adam, Bill, Stuart, and Willow. And our
1:11:11
Caged Dancers, John, Freeman, Nathan, and Cameron.
1:11:13
And Bill Panks for our intro music. Next episode,
1:11:17
we are going to be reviewing the Paul Schrader
1:11:22
Director's Cut. of dying of the light let's fucking
1:11:26
go it's gonna be so bad i hated the first movie
1:11:30
i hate paul schrader i hate schrader i hate the
1:11:32
first movie with his stupid bandana head i hate
1:11:35
everything he sucks except for taxi driver did
1:11:39
we get it i know where it is i found it okay
1:11:41
yeah we have access yeah i mean it's gonna be
1:11:45
a damn good episode for me to listen to then
1:11:46
so i'm excited about that it's gonna be a damn
1:11:48
dick shit bitch fuck pussy good episode i just
1:11:53
wish is there like a director's cut of uh dog
1:11:58
eat dog too no i'm sure i'm sure there is i'm
1:12:01
sure schrader put something out there yeah i
1:12:03
feel like that is the director's cut because
1:12:05
i don't think anyone would actively choose to
1:12:08
make that movie yeah well let's find out did
1:12:11
they ever update the wikipedia for that because
1:12:13
after you guys said on the podcast i literally
1:12:15
went to look and like no there's got to be more
1:12:17
description of this movie nope What one sentence?
1:12:20
Yeah. Three dudes have a really bad day. It was
1:12:22
something. And they do. The three of us. We edit
1:12:28
it to reflect the podcast. We've actually changed
1:12:32
all of his entries that way. Schraders only.
1:12:36
Only Schraders. Three dudes have a really bad
1:12:39
day. I don't like... I don't like new Craig.
1:12:55
I always throw a big ol' foreskin on there. I
1:12:58
don't like new Craig either. They changed the
1:13:00
way Craig looks. New Craig looks like... New
1:13:04
Craig looks like Craig's fursona. Ew. Yeah, I
1:13:09
don't like it. This is the Craig that fucks.
1:13:13
Unconsensually, though.