Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / How to Practice Mindful Self-Compassion Every Day

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How to Practice Mindful Self-Compassion Every Day · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is produced by my friends at WalkWest.
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  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
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  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
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  SPEAKER_01: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
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  SPEAKER_01: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Hi there and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, I just want to say thank you for tuning in today and spending some time with me here.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Today's topic is all about practicing mindful self-compassion every single day and why we should.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you've been following me or you've had I've had the privilege of having a conversation with you or maybe even possibly coaching with you, one of the things that I really do talk a lot about is self-compassion.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's something that I really struggled with.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: And to this day, it's still a work in progress, is how to be self-compassionate versus judgmental.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: It is so much easier to be compassionate to others than maybe to ourselves.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: But research has absolutely confirmed that practicing mindfulness, that means being in the present moment versus ruminating over the past or worrying about the future, can help increase our focus and our mental clarity.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then when you add in, so if you add in this regular mindful practice, it also allows us to become more adept at detaching ourselves from a specific outcome as well as recognizing that our thoughts are just thoughts.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: So it allows for that diffusion from our thoughts, which allows us to separate who we are as people from the thoughts that we're having or from the emotions we're having and giving us space to determine what our emotions are trying to communicate to us rather than just falling into judgment.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where that self-compassion comes in.
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  SPEAKER_00: So when we're really talking about mindful self-compassion, what we're talking about is a practice that blends mindfulness, again, being present, with this emotional practice of self-compassion, which is kindness over judgment, right?
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  SPEAKER_00: Being in the present moment, kindness over judgment, recognizing that we're all part of this common humanity.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: So what we're talking about with mindful self-compassion is we're really bringing those two things together.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And what we're trying to allow ourselves to do with the practice of mindful self-compassion is actually move towards boosting our resilience, boosting our ability to bounce back from challenging situations.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because the truth is life is going to throw challenges at us.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so when we have this ability to practice mindful self-compassion, we're boosting our ability to meet that challenge, learn from that challenge, and continue to grow and expand.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Self-compassion is that step towards self-love and self- it boosts our self-confidence and our self-esteem.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: But overall, what we're really doing there is moving towards this concept of self-acceptance.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: And when we have that self-acceptance, that we are boosting our emotional and mental well-being.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Mindfulness represents this non-judgmental and receptive state of mind.
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  SPEAKER_00: So it allows us to notice what's happening for us.
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  SPEAKER_00: It allows us to notice the thoughts that we're having without taking them on as, you know, almost fusing with them, right?
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  SPEAKER_00: So it allows us to notice, for instance, self-critical thoughts or allows us to notice feelings.
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  SPEAKER_00: But instead of getting stuck into judgment or instead of getting hooked by them, what we're able to do is give ourselves a little bit of distance between them by being compassionate to ourselves and being kind.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: And it allows us to move into this place of acceptance, right?
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't mean acceptance as a condoning or not condoning, acceptance is more about allowing, like, okay, this thing is present for me, and now how do I choose to respond to it?
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  SPEAKER_00: So mindfulness is this effective way that we can develop our self-awareness in a very non-judgmental way, which allows us to move through whatever it is that we're we're going through in terms of thoughts or emotions.
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  SPEAKER_00: So mindful self-compassion actually is helping us move towards this growth mindset versus a fixed mindset.
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  SPEAKER_00: Because when we don't have that compassion and we're stuck in judgment mode, what we're actually doing is constricting ourselves rather than expanding ourselves.
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  SPEAKER_00: So when we're able to utilize self-compassion and utilize mindful self-compassion, right, we're actually expanding out.
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  SPEAKER_00: We're saying this thing is present for us, and also how can I expand and create more room for other things to be possible, or can I look at this differently?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: So what we're doing is creating that psychological flexibility through that, through the process of mindful self-compassion.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: So, what are some ways that you can practice this?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: One is to know when it's okay to let go.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know, freeing yourself from shame and guilt and self-criticism is essential to practicing mindful self-compassion.
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  SPEAKER_00: Self-forgiveness means knowing or learning when to let go.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's this deliberate decision to allow yourself to move forward from a specific situation.
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  SPEAKER_00: So when we pay attention to where we might be shaming ourselves and we actually work through that and go through the process of unshaming, we're finally able to release it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Learning how to silence your inner critic.
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  SPEAKER_00: So this isn't about moving like pushing your inner critic away.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's again, self-compassion is recognizing it, being in the present moment, naming it, but also being mindful of that self-judgmental voice so that we can actually challenge it rather than simply just either allowing ourselves to get hooked to the judgment or trying to push it away.
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  SPEAKER_00: Those are almost doing the same things where it's gonna come back.
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  SPEAKER_00: So, in order to actually quote unquote silence our inner critic, it's really about learning to identify what the inner critic is saying and then to question its validity and to actually ask ourselves what's actually true about ourselves.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Another way that we can practice mind self mindful self-compassion is keeping a journal.
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  SPEAKER_00: Journaling and writing things out is a great way for us to recognize the thoughts that we're having and allow us to notice them and to either come to that choice point of what we're gonna do.
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  SPEAKER_00: Are we gonna be hooked to that thought?
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  SPEAKER_00: Are we gonna move towards something else?
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  SPEAKER_00: Learning the how to treat how would you treat a friend exercise, this is really important because a lot of people have a they struggle with self-compassion.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's like, well, I don't know how to be kind to myself.
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  SPEAKER_00: Just consider how would you treat your a loved one or how would you treat your best friend and offer yourself the same compassion that you would offer that friend.
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  SPEAKER_00: Because when we when we think about it, you know, so often it's it's easy for us to um be kind to them and to not pass judgment and to be empathetic and to listen.
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  SPEAKER_00: So give yourself the permission to actually talk to yourself as though you were that really, that really good friend or that loved one.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: And when we put this into practice and we use this as an exercise, we actually will start hearing ourselves and catching ourselves when we're being really judgmental.
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  SPEAKER_00: Embrace and express gratitude is a huge, huge way that we can really lean into mindful self-compassion.
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  SPEAKER_00: Because if we think of the things that are going well in our lives, and I don't mean like they don't have to be suit like these great, amazing things, just what the one right thing in a situation.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: The one right thing, and even in a challenging situation, and look at it as a gift or a way that we can just be grateful for that thing happening, it can create and and cultivate that optimistic attitude, and also it allows us to be kind to ourselves rather than judgmental.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mentioned this slightly in a different context before, but it is about leaning into a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset when we're able to lean into what's possible versus you know, constricting ourselves with that fixed mindset, we're able to really um exercise this idea of mindful self-compassion.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: And working with a coach around this can be absolutely beneficial because a lot of times we don't even see it for ourselves that we're in this and we're stuck in a fixed mindset.
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  SPEAKER_00: So having that co-collaborator to help you move through that and to see where those areas of possibility could be, could be a huge game changer.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: When we're practicing mindful self-compassion, it's it's also learning to look at things that outcomes that didn't go our way, quote unquote failures, and and pushing ourselves to ask, how did I learn from this and how did I grow from this, rather than shutting down because of a perceived failure.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Forgiveness of self is a huge, huge way that we move forward.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when we are continuing to blame ourselves, it can keep us again stuck.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but what we're talking about with mindful self-compassion is learning how to um allow ourselves to make mistakes, you know, recognizing self-acceptance is all about coming to terms with who we are, imperfections and all.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: So treating ourselves with compassion leads to this increased self-esteem.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: It it leads to more self-love, it leads to that emotional state of happiness, and hopefully it leads to more fulfillment and joy.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: So if you can help yourself by taking some steps towards practicing gratitude, practicing present moment awareness, practicing kindness over judgment, learning how to step into a growth mindset over a fixed mindset, releasing some of those moments where or some releasing some of those places where maybe you've been shaming yourself because shame is the thing that keeps us really constricted, those can lead to more growth opportunities in all different aspects of your life.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: If you'd like to talk with me about this, absolutely feel free to reach out because coaching has definitely helped.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I've helped many individuals work through situations like this because through coaching, we go through the process of finding areas where there might where you might need some self-forgiveness as well as just understanding how you're operating and what are some of those mindsets that could be keeping you stuck.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: Feel free to reach out at any time at chatwithcomedy.com.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, stay well.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: Username it's authentic me.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening.