Latest / Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor / Mojo Mondays - The Practical Approach to Life: Constructive Living With Carly Taylor

Transcript

Mojo Mondays - The Practical Approach to Life: Constructive Living With Carly Taylor · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, Welcome to you. This week's My Joe Monday.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: I'm Carlie Taylor, and I want to talk to you
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: today about an approach to life that has had quite
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: an impact on my everyday mindset, and it's called constructive living.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: The term was coined by David Reynolds, who has taken
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: the philosophies of Maritio therapy and I CAN and created
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: an approach and a program called constructive living. And he's
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: written a book under the same title, So if you
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: are interested in finding out more about it than you
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: can buy the book. So have you ever woken up
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: feeling overwhelmed or stuck or unsure of what to do?
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: And this has happened to me, And it can be
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: really hard when it happens, because when we feel stuck,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: we tend to turn our attention inward to problem solving,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: because that's what our minds do best. Our minds love
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: to solve problems. But in this particular situation, we can
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: end up overthinking it. We go into analytic mode, and
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: that often can lead to well, not very much, but
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: a whole lot of pain. Sometimes we simply also don't
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: have a clear plan for the day or we're not
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: in the so called perfect mood. But here's the thing.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: There's always something you can do right now. It could
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: be as small and essential as tackling a load of laundry,
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: or doing some housework, or taking a quick trip to
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: the shops for groceries. And these are the small bettersential
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: actions that keep life moving forward even when your emotions
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: are swelling around like a storm, and sometimes you might
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: feel paralyzed by what you're experiencing. But this approach is
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: all about accepting how you feel, which we know comes
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: and goes and changes just like the weather, and then
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: choosing to act anyway. So even if you're not in
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: the mood, you can still decide to get organized, maybe
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: you know, cleaning out the fridge or doing your taxes
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: or organizing a drawer. And in fact, Ethan Cross, who's
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: one of the world's leading experts on emotional regulation and
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: wrote a brilliant book called Chatter, so look that one up.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: He reminds us that these simple everyday tasks are not trivial.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: They're powerful actions, and they help break the cycle of inaction,
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: so they can ground you in the present and show
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: you that even when you feel overwhelmed. You have this
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: power to keep moving forward, keep making progress. And I
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: feel like I'm living proof of this because I have
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: felt strong emotions that could easily have dragged me down
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: that emotional vortex, and there was one time that this happened.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: So what I did was I sorted out my training
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: gear draw, which was a complete mess, just like I
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: felt in my head. But it was this really big tick.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: You know, I did something constructive. It actually felt good,
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: and during that time my attention was redirected towards organizing
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: the draw and away from the emotional storm in my head.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: And if you look at this from a distraction point
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: of view, it's yes, we are distracting ourselves by doing this,
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: but it's constructive distraction. So rather than going on your
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: phone or opening up a bottle of wine or doing
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: all those things that we do to distract ourselves from
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: our emotions or our overthinking, we're actually doing something constructive
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: that's helping us move forward. And I know there are
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: moments of uncertainty in life that can feel really, really heavy.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: But here's the beauty of this mindset is while you
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: might not have all the big answers, you do have
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: a clear path forward in the form of small necessary
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: tasks that keep life ticking away. And that's so important
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: because you think about it, you know, something like washing
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: the dishes, or folding the laundry, or running a quick errand,
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: or getting rid of the dust and grime. These actions
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: might seem kind of insignificant on their own, but they're
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: every day necessities. And often when we're so caught up
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: in our emotions or our thinking, we can withdraw and
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: we tend to not be motivated to do these things.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: But Paul often says motivation follows action. And I'm not
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: sure if he actually started that quote, but I know
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: he's been saying it for years, and it really captures
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: the essence of what I'm talking about, because every time
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: you take action, you're not just completing a chore. You're
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: reinforcing the fact that you are capable of managing your
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: day no matter what feelings that you are wrestling with.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: It's about acknowledging your emotions without letting them paralyze you.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: What you're saying by doing this is yes, I feel
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: this way, but I'm still going to do what needs
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: to be done. It's that simple act of moving and
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: taking action So this week, whether it's as simple as
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: sorting out a drawer or cleaning out the fridge, or
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: just taking a moment to do anything that needs to
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: be done, take that step and embrace the fact that
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: every little action is a win. And the other thing
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: about this is it makes you realize that everything you do,
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: these small things have a purpose behind them. So you're
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: not waiting for the perfect moment or the perfect mood.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: You're creating that momentum right now. So let's make today
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: and this week about those small victories that add up
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: to a bigger, brighter picture and start with one tiny
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: task and let that action spark the motivation to tackle
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: even more. So I hope you all have a great
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: week and I will catch you next week. See ya.