Latest / The Art of Love With Lucia / Episode 616: 7 Signs Your Breakup Is NOT Permanent
Transcript
- 0:00Hi, this is Lucia with The Art of Love.
- 0:02I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
- 0:05you get your ex back or to get over your ex.
- 0:08This week, I want to talk about the signs that your breakup is
- 0:11not permanent. If you've been broken up with or
- 0:15you had to break up with someone, then you're probably
- 0:19hoping that your breakup is only temporary, that it's just a
- 0:23little blip on the radar, and that you will soon be getting
- 0:25back together. Well, maybe you will, maybe you
- 0:28won't. So stay tuned and I'll tell you
- 0:30the signs. But first I want to welcome back
- 0:32my beautiful No Contact army. If you have downloaded my app
- 0:36Silencio the the link is underneath every single video
- 0:39and podcast, then please leave a rating or a review.
- 0:43And if you two would like to join our no contact army, all
- 0:47you have to do is hit the subscribe button and the Bell
- 0:49notification and you're in. And to read our manual, go to
- 0:53nocontactsecrets.com where you can read two free chapters
- 0:57before purchasing the book Okay. So be sure to stay tuned till
- 1:03the end because I have a bonus sign that your breakup is not
- 1:09permanent, that I can pretty much guarantee you have never
- 1:12heard anywhere else before. Okay.
- 1:16So the first sign is mixed messages.
- 1:20Mixed messages means that they are confused about their
- 1:24feelings for you. They're fighting an internal
- 1:26battle between their head and their heart, and maybe soon they
- 1:32will give into their feelings and take you back.
- 1:34So how do I define mixed messages?
- 1:37It means that one day it seems like they miss you and think the
- 1:40breakup was a mistake, but then the next day they ignore you.
- 1:43Or they say they're going to stick by their decision, so you
- 1:46can't figure out what it is. One day it's yes, one day it's
- 1:48no. Those are mixed messages.
- 1:49We've all had them. Even when dating, we get mixed
- 1:52messages sometimes, right? So we know what they are.
- 1:55Okay. The next one is that you broke
- 1:58up in the heat of an argument, so it was either a fake breakup
- 2:02on your part or their part. One of you said we're done, it's
- 2:06over. But what you really meant was
- 2:09I'm really angry right now and I want to hurt you and this is the
- 2:12only way I know how. So if you're exited that to you,
- 2:16then they were hoping that you would try to stop them, but
- 2:18instead you called their bluff and said okay, and now they're
- 2:23temporarily staying away because of ego and pride, but because
- 2:27they didn't really mean it and they're no longer angry.
- 2:31At some point they're not going to be angry, right?
- 2:33It's going to be hard for them to stay away for very long, so
- 2:38expect to hear from them. The next sign that your breakup
- 2:43is only temporary is that the breakup was because of the
- 2:49situation and not because of anything inherently wrong with
- 2:53either you or your partner, or that you or your partner did.
- 2:58Meaning that maybe right now it's long distance, but they're
- 3:02going to be moving to your same city in a few months, or they
- 3:06just got out of a longterm relationship or a marriage.
- 3:10And even though you guys got along great, they're just not
- 3:14ready for a commitment. So it's more of a matter of
- 3:17situation than anything wrong with you or them.
- 3:21So it's a matter of right person, wrong time, meaning that
- 3:26if there's a chance that things change in the future, or when
- 3:30things change in the future, then they will come looking for
- 3:33you. The next sign is that they are
- 3:36emotional around you or showing pain and loneliness.
- 3:41So they're on an emotional roller coaster because they're
- 3:43still not over you. And sometimes they are posting
- 3:47sad songs or sad memes, hoping that you'll reach out to them if
- 3:52you see them and hoping that you'll see them.
- 3:54And so this is also why I tell you guys not to post sad songs
- 3:59or memes because they'll know you're still interested.
- 4:02So if you're in no contact, you can't post sad songs or memes.
- 4:08But if you see your ex doing them, then they are still
- 4:14emotionally invested in you, and there's a good chance you'll
- 4:17hear from them and they will want to come back.
- 4:20So if you're finding this video helpful so far, please give it a
- 4:23like. That way YouTube can tell
- 4:26everyone else that this is a good video to listen to, and we
- 4:30can help some other people figure out whether their breakup
- 4:33is permanent or temporary. Okay.
- 4:36The next sign is that your ex is still angry at you.
- 4:40Again, that means that they are still invested in you.
- 4:43So unless you cheated or did something really bad to them,
- 4:47they are hurt. And this is actually a positive
- 4:49sign if your ex is angry. I did a video on exes who are
- 4:52angry and I'll put the link in the upper right hand corner and
- 4:57people are often afraid. It's like, Oh my ex is angry,
- 5:00I'm scared. Don't be scared.
- 5:03An angry ex is an ex that is much easier to get back.
- 5:07They didn't want to break up with you, but they felt they had
- 5:11no choice and that's why they're angry, because if you had just
- 5:14acted right, they wouldn't have had to break up with you.
- 5:18That's what they're thinking. So if you thought that they were
- 5:23totally done with you, then don't worry if they're still
- 5:28angry. They are not totally done with
- 5:30you. Remember, the opposite of love
- 5:32is not hate, it's indifference. The next sign that it is a
- 5:37temporary breakup is that they're asking mutual friends
- 5:42about you. So they're fishing for info to
- 5:45see if you're dating someone new, how you're feeling and just
- 5:49kind of take the temperature and see if you take them back, if
- 5:52you would reconsider if they do reach out.
- 5:55So they're indirectly sending you a message through the
- 5:58friends. They figured that your friends
- 5:59would probably tell you that they asked about you and they're
- 6:02hoping that you'll say, Oh well, maybe I'll reach out and say hi,
- 6:06but of course you're not going to do that because you joined
- 6:10the no Contact army and we don't allow that because if they were
- 6:14totally done, they would probably not be asking mutual
- 6:17friends about you because they wouldn't want to give you any
- 6:19false hope. If there's.
- 6:21If they're curious, there's still some interest there.
- 6:24So it's quite possibly a temporary breakup.
- 6:29The 7th sign that your breakup is temporary is that your ex is
- 6:35jealous when they find out that you are seeing someone new.
- 6:40And I actually recently got an e-mail from someone who was the
- 6:43dumper and he was fine being the dumper for a while until he
- 6:49found out that his extra dating someone new and all of a sudden
- 6:52he's like, I want her back, I want her back.
- 6:56And the message when they find out that you're doing something
- 6:59new, the message you're sending is that you're happy without
- 7:03them and that you're not afraid to move on.
- 7:06And now if they want you back, they know it's going to be
- 7:09harder to get you back. This is why I use the two drink,
- 7:14drink, drink trick, because it implies that there's someone
- 7:19else and if they're still interested then they will get
- 7:24jealous and you'll hear from them.
- 7:27So your ex getting jealous is a good sign.
- 7:30Because again, if they were totally over you, they wouldn't
- 7:32care. They'd be like, good.
- 7:35Let them date someone else. Let them be someone else's
- 7:38problem. And then finally the bonus sign,
- 7:44and this is for women only. And you'll understand why when I
- 7:48tell you so. This applies to if you're a
- 7:51woman and you broke up with your ex.
- 7:56Because after being together for several years, okay, it's not
- 8:01just six months, not just a year, but several years.
- 8:06They still do not want to get married.
- 8:09Okay, Your boyfriend still does not want to get married.
- 8:12So I've discovered, and it's not scientifically but just in my
- 8:16own random search, that the majority of people who are
- 8:20married today broke up at some point.
- 8:25My sister and her now husband broke up and they've now been
- 8:30married over a million years. A long time.
- 8:34Okay, they're still married. My best friend, they broke up
- 8:38and then they got married. Another girlfriend of mine, I
- 8:42was the bridesmaid at her wedding.
- 8:43They broke up and now they've been married or 15 years.
- 8:46Ask anyone you know who's married if they ever broke up
- 8:50before they got married to each other and you would probably be
- 8:54pleasantly surprised at the response.
- 8:56They probably did. So if you had to break up with
- 8:59someone because they didn't want to get married and you decided,
- 9:02okay, I'm just going to have to move on, then there's a very
- 9:06good chance that giving your ex-boyfriend time and space will
- 9:11make him realize what he missed and he will come looking for
- 9:15you. Okay.
- 9:15But you've got to do no contact. And then if you do have contact
- 9:20with him, you have to sound happy and busy.
- 9:22Happy and busy. You can't sound miserable.
- 9:25You can't keep asking. Do you want to marry me yet?
- 9:28Do you want to marry me yet even though I broke up with you?
- 9:30No. He has to come to the conclusion
- 9:32on his own that, Oh my God, I made the biggest mistake of my
- 9:36life. I need to get her back.
- 9:40And if you have faith that the relationship was strong and that
- 9:44he loved you and you left because he want didn't want to
- 9:48get married and you did, then there's a very good chance you
- 9:52will hear from them. Okay.
- 9:54So to recap the signs that your breakup is not permanent, you're
- 9:59getting mixed messages. You broke up.
- 10:02Broke up in the heat of an argument.
- 10:05The breakup was situational and not because of anything you or
- 10:09your partner did or didn't do. Your ex is emotional around you.
- 10:15Your ex is angry at you. Your ex is asking mutual friends
- 10:20about you. They are jealous when they find
- 10:24out you're dating someone, you and then the bonus one for women
- 10:28only. You broke up with your boyfriend
- 10:30because he did not want to get married after several years of
- 10:34being together. Okay.
- 10:36So now I want to hear from you. Do you fall into any of these
- 10:39categories? Is this your situation?
- 10:42If it is then please comment below.
- 10:45And in the meantime, if you would like my help to get your
- 10:47ex back, you can contact me at theartoflove.net and we will
- 10:51send you the rates. They are not on the website.
- 10:53The direct link is below every single video and podcast.
- 10:57If you found this video helpful, please like, subscribe and
- 11:00share. If you're listening to this as a
- 11:02podcast, please rate and review. And finally, remember that love
- 11:05inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.