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The $10 Million Test That Reveals Whether You Really Want Your Ex Back · The Art of Love With Lucia

• 0:07
  Do you want your ex back? Are you sure about that?
• 0:11
  Are you 100% certain? Are you 1000% certain?
• 0:17
  Because there's one question, just one that will expose the
• 0:22
  truth about whether you really want your ex back or whether
• 0:26
  something else is going on. And most people are shocked by
• 0:31
  their own answer. And once you hear it, you cannot
• 0:35
  unhear it. So hold that thought.
• 0:38
  I'm going to ask you that question in just a moment.
• 0:40
  But first, hi, this is Lucia with the Art of Love.
• 0:44
  I'm a dating and relationship expert specializing in helping
• 0:47
  you get your X back or to get over your X.
• 0:50
  And welcome back my beautiful No Contact Army.
• 0:53
  Have you been a good little soldier?
• 0:55
  If you have, you've downloaded my app, Silencio, which now has
• 0:58
  a community tab so you can chat with other people in the no
• 1:02
  Contact Army and ask your questions.
• 1:05
  And the link to that is underneath every single video
• 1:07
  and podcast. And if you too would like to
• 1:09
  join our army, just hit the subscribe button and the bell
• 1:13
  notification and you're in. And to read our manual, go to
• 1:17
  nocontactsecrets.com where you can read 2 free chapters before
• 1:21
  you purchase the book. And the link to that is
• 1:23
  underneath every single video and podcast.
• 1:26
  OK, so I asked some of my clients this question and I'll
• 1:31
  tell you what they said in a minute.
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  But first here is the question. If someone were to give you $10
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  million. But the catch is that you can
• 1:43
  never see or speak to your ex again.
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  Would you take the money? Be honest.
• 1:52
  If your answer is yes, this video is definitely for you
• 1:57
  because I'm going to tell you exactly what that means.
• 2:01
  But to let you know what happened with my clients, all of
• 2:05
  them said yes. One of them did say, well, logic
• 2:08
  would say you should take the money.
• 2:10
  And I said, OK, but what would you say?
• 2:12
  And he said, OK, fine, I would take the money, too.
• 2:15
  And one originally said no. And so I said, OK, what about 20
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  million? And he seemed still a bit
• 2:23
  hesitant, like, I don't know, this is so hard.
• 2:26
  And then he finally said, OK, fine, yes.
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  So I handed him $20 million. Just kidding.
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  But he just had a higher price. I guess he's a High Roller.
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  So it seems most people would say yes.
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  What does this mean? It means a lot of things.
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  Here we go. So you're not actually stuck on
• 2:45
  them, you're stuck on the feeling they represent.
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  If walking away forever becomes an easy yes, the second massive
• 2:55
  abundance enters the picture, that tells you a few things very
• 2:59
  clearly. They are not your true source of
• 3:01
  happiness. If they were genuinely the
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  person your heart was choosing, that $10 million wouldn't be
• 3:08
  enough to make you drop them without hesitation.
• 3:11
  The fact that it is tells you the emotional attachment is
• 3:15
  weaker than you think. Real love does not evaporate the
• 3:20
  second a better opportunity shows up, but emotional
• 3:24
  dependency does. You are attached to the fantasy,
• 3:29
  not the reality. You're not in love with who they
• 3:32
  actually are. You're in love with the
• 3:35
  potential, the chase, the emotional intensity, the
• 3:39
  validation hit the storyline in your head.
• 3:44
  Fantasy feels powerful because it gives you control.
• 3:48
  Reality feels weaker because it exposes the truth.
• 3:52
  And the moment you zoom out with a big life changing reality
• 3:57
  check, the spell breaks. They are costing you more than
• 4:02
  they're giving you. If losing them feels like relief
• 4:06
  plus freedom plus a reset, that's why the $10 million wins
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  instantly. Your nervous system already
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  knows this person is a drain, not an asset.
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  And your nervous system is more honest than your mind.
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  It already voted. Something else that's going on,
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  or maybe going on is that you're bored, lonely, or craving
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  stimulation. You're not in love and many
• 4:32
  people confuse being emotionally underfed with being in love.
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  Craving something isn't the same as wanting someone, but the
• 4:41
  brain mixes the 2 when you're under stimulated.
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  However, when you feel fulfilled, supported, and
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  abundant, abundant, this person wouldn't even be on your radar.
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  And the $10 million question instantly exposes that.
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  Something else that's going on is that your intuition has been
• 5:02
  whispering. This isn't it.
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  You already know the connection has more pain than pay off.
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  You already know they're not your long term person.
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  You already know this isn't someone you can build a life
• 5:16
  with. Intuition speaks quietly, but
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  the $10 million questions turns up the volume also.
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  You're attached to who you think they could be, not who they are.
• 5:31
  Your mind has a built in version of them that finally shows up,
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  finally chooses you, finally loves you correctly.
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  But that version isn't real. It's imagined, and the $10
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  million forces you to confront the truth.
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  You would not wait around for a fantasy if you had options,
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  Abundance and freedom. Also, you're attached to the
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  version of yourself that you were when you were with them,
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  and this is very important. This is the case for most
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  people. You weren't just connected to
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  your ex, you were connected to the identity you had in that
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  relationship, right? Different people bring out
• 6:13
  different parts of us, and the safer we feel, the more parts of
• 6:17
  us they bring out. That's why your ideal partner is
• 6:21
  someone that you can totally be 100% yourself with, Show all
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  your parts. And so you are connected to the
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  part of you that showed up, that cared.
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  The emotional intensity you expressed, the vulnerability you
• 6:39
  allowed, the softness you tapped into, the certainty or optimism
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  you felt in the beginning. The version of you that believed
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  in the connection. That identity imprint is
• 6:50
  powerful. But here's the thing.
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  You're never going to be that exact version of yourself again.
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  Not with them and not with anybody else.
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  And that's why the attachment feels so special.
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  It's not them you're longing for.
• 7:09
  It's the version of you that existed in that dynamic, and if
• 7:13
  you can understand that, you will be free.
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  But when the $10 million question comes in and you answer
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  yes, that means that you're actually ready to evolve past
• 7:25
  that old identity. You've outgrown it.
• 7:31
  Another reason that you think you want them back is because
• 7:35
  you hate losing. Not losing them.
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  You just hate losing, and breakups often trigger
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  competitiveness. So your ego wants to win the
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  dynamic, not necessarily the person.
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  You want closure, not reconciliation, so your brain
• 7:52
  wants resolution to this unfinished emotional tension.
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  But that's not the same as wanting the relationship back.
• 8:01
  Or you're mourning the routine, not the partner, and losing
• 8:07
  someone. It often feels like you're
• 8:08
  losing structure and routine loss feels like heartbreak, but
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  it's not. Maybe you want proof that you
• 8:18
  were lovable to them, but that's a self worth issue disguised as
• 8:23
  romantic longing. Because you have low self worth.
• 8:27
  So it's like well if they want me back then I have self worth.
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  No you decide your your worth. That's what's called self worth.
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  You want the emotional high they gave you early on.
• 8:39
  You're chasing the 1st 30 days for 60 days, not the rest of the
• 8:43
  relationship. You want to escape your current
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  emotional state. I know that's true for a lot of
• 8:50
  people. So when your emotional world
• 8:53
  feels small, your ex becomes this mental escape hatch.
• 8:57
  But the $10 million instant instantly replaces that desire.
• 9:03
  That means the attachment wasn't that strong to begin with.
• 9:08
  A few more reasons. I told you there was a lot of
• 9:10
  reasons. The connection filled a gap in
• 9:16
  your emotional life. So people get stuck when someone
• 9:20
  gives them intensity, distraction, a sense of purpose,
• 9:23
  a project to fix, a fantasy to escape them to.
• 9:27
  So if the rest of your life got bigger, which the $10 million
• 9:30
  symbolizes, this emotional gap disappears and poof, so does the
• 9:36
  attachment. You mistook a pain loop for a
• 9:41
  bond. So when someone gives you hot
• 9:45
  cold energy, push, pull, inconsistency, bread crumbs,
• 9:49
  emotional starvation, your nervous system loops to solve
• 9:54
  the connection. It feels urgent because your
• 9:57
  brain wants closure, not the person.
• 10:00
  OK, they want closure. Your brain isn't trying to
• 10:03
  reconnect, it's trying to finish unfinished emotional math.
• 10:10
  So if the $10 million question it makes you say, yeah, I
• 10:14
  dropped them instantly, then the truth is you're not emotionally
• 10:18
  stuck. You're psychologically looping
• 10:21
  and loops can be broken. The connection is not love, it's
• 10:25
  attachment, habit, fantasy, and unmet needs.
• 10:30
  And your own answer proved you're truly capable of letting
• 10:34
  them go. Deep down you know they are
• 10:37
  probably not long term material. Your answer didn't create the
• 10:42
  truth, it revealed it. People do not give up on their
• 10:46
  soul bank for money, but they do give up on confusion,
• 10:50
  frustration, unavailability, pain, anxiety, bread crumbing,
• 10:56
  stagnation. As I said, your nervous system
• 10:59
  wants out. You're just used to that
• 11:02
  emotional loop. So you're stuck on this cycle,
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  not the person your body is hooked on anticipation,
• 11:10
  uncertainty, fantasy, the hope relief cycle, the maybe this
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  time story. Your ex isn't the addiction, the
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  roller coaster is. That's why your answer is yes, I
• 11:23
  would give them up. You would be free, and the brain
• 11:27
  craves that freedom more than it craves them.
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  So you're not stuck on them. You're stuck on a chemical
• 11:35
  pattern. You're stuck on an unfinished
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  emotional storyline. Your logical mind already knows
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  this person is replaceable. The fantasy is what feels
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  irreplaceable. Decisions that come instantly
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  are rarely wrong. And you probably said yes rather
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  quickly. So if the $10 million question
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  made everything clear, don't ignore that reality.
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  You're not broken. You're not obsessed.
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  You're not doomed to miss them forever.
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  You're caught in a psychological loops, and loops break the
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  moment. Truth becomes louder than
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  fantasy. Your answer revealed that you're
• 12:15
  already halfway out emotionally. Now the rest of you just needs
• 12:20
  to catch up. OK, so now I want to hear from
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  you. Of course I'm going to ask you.
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  Please comment below and let me know.
• 12:27
  Did you say yes or no? And if you would like my help to
• 12:32
  get your ex back, you can contact me at
• 12:36
  theartoflove.net/coaching. The rates are not on the website
• 12:40
  and the link to that is underneath every single video
• 12:42
  and podcast. If you found this video helpful,
• 12:47
  hit the subscribe button so you don't miss out on future videos.
• 12:50
  If you're listening to this as a podcast, also subscribe so you
• 12:54
  don't miss future episodes. And finally, remember, love
• 12:57
  inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.