Latest / Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage / Teen Titans GO! To the Movies

Transcript

Teen Titans GO! To the Movies · Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage

0:21
We've got ghost power yeah phantom power oh hell
0:26
yeah which is a really tight name for yeah way
0:29
better than ghost power ghost phantom phantom
0:31
power is pretty rad specter we don't actually
0:34
use phantom power for this though oddly enough
0:36
isn't that what powers our microphones it is
0:39
no i think that's regular power yeah i think
0:42
you need regular power for mics not phantom i
0:45
can't remember exactly the reason uh dynamic
0:48
mics would have power yeah right yeah okay i
0:53
mean that's that's a fact yeah no that's true
0:55
i went to school because i remember rachel's
0:58
fact yeah rachel's like violin well did you drink
1:04
any big ball buzzy big biggie buzzball uh yeah
1:07
i had a little buzzball last night nice did you
1:09
get the peppermint bark no i fucking hate peppermint
1:12
so yeah i had berry berry limeade i understand
1:15
drinking these things for a joke but are you
1:17
actually into them now like what no we've lost
1:22
the ability to tell where the bit ends and we
1:24
begin that's just my life case in point my nichorus
1:32
cage uh guitar oh yeah so wait did you get one
1:37
now because uh i think the first time you showed
1:39
us that it was like your bass teachers right
1:41
no he well he uh the first one i showed you was
1:44
an ad that he sent me and i'm like yeah i'm buying
1:46
that so that's actually on my pedal board now
1:49
and it sounds pretty good fuck yeah that's great
1:52
Yeah. Do you ever like just take your shoes off
1:55
and like rub your feet all over his face and
1:57
be like, you love those toes. Yeah, get on it.
2:00
Those are feet phalanges. Do you want some warmed
2:03
yogurt? Those little foot fingies. Yeah, foot
2:07
fingies. Gross. The best part is the eyes light
2:11
up when you turn it on. Of course they do. Why
2:13
wouldn't they? Reminds me of the most pretentious
2:17
show I've ever seen. Like the guy comes out on
2:20
stage and. he's barefoot i'm like why why would
2:24
you do that i the only thing worse is toe socks
2:27
gross what about toe shoes i don't like i don't
2:33
get the toe shoe people i don't get those either
2:35
yeah i don't know maximum control yeah i mean
2:38
i've heard people wear them for like trail running
2:41
or something like i don't know it all seems a
2:43
little Yeah, it's foot pretension. Yeah, exactly.
2:47
Maybe I should give that a try. If you're walking
2:49
around this city, it feels like trail running.
2:51
Oh, Nick, always afraid of falling down. yeah
2:56
that is like your big thing you fell down one
2:59
time you fall down once and you'll never recover
3:03
no like i it has actually changed my life i don't
3:06
go as quickly anymore it's true it's an old man
3:09
you real fast it was on ice or something right
3:14
yeah yeah so this was a snowy um icy sunday morning
3:19
and uh just walking home and uh the wrong way
3:24
and like ended up breaking a leg what is the
3:26
wrong way to walk home well is it like where
3:29
you fall down crime alley actually jazz dancing
3:32
yeah oh crime alley yeah that'll get you every
3:35
time no it's just it it sucked and and man i
3:40
never go outside in the ice that's the important
3:44
lesson don't go outside on this episode that
3:47
we're recording in april the thing i love about
3:50
this story is just Nick being Nick, you break
3:54
your leg just walking home where when I lived
3:56
at Peter's old place, which was my old place,
4:00
but it was Peter's before then, it's Dylan's
4:01
now. It's weird. On the hill, I was walking the
4:04
dog out on an ice storm and I like ate it, stood
4:08
right back up, ate it again, and then just like
4:10
proceeded to slide down the hill. Oh, wow. And
4:14
then like got up and I'm like, well, that was
4:17
fun. And then I ran into Nick and I told him
4:19
about it and he was real mad at me. Because I
4:21
was fine. Do you take a lot of calcium supplements
4:24
or some shit? How do you do this? Just so calciumed.
4:28
How many milks are you taking every day? Yeah,
4:32
that nice raw milk straight from the teat. Y
4:35
'all know I do nothing to take care of myself.
4:38
Yeah, we see you. It's fine. For the listening
4:42
audience, let me describe Sean. It's a little
4:45
bit like Skeletor, but jaundice. it's my one
4:51
impression so it makes sense damn you he -man
4:55
oh man so who is excited for the masters of the
4:58
universe movie it looks fucking pretty good i
5:01
am so excited for it again my favorite part and
5:05
i it's just like instead of trying to like have
5:08
like a skinny prince adam and a buff he -man
5:10
it's the same brick shit house just in a big
5:12
pink shirt It's exactly like the cartoon. It
5:15
was the same dude, but with a shirt on. With
5:18
clothes on. Yeah. It sounds amazing. I didn't
5:22
even know this was happening. I'm excited about
5:24
it. It looks pretty good. I never was a He -Man
5:26
guy, and even I got pumped by watching the trailer.
5:30
Speaking of also trailers that look amazing for
5:33
movies that shouldn't be, the Street Fighter
5:34
trailers look great, man. Yeah, Street Fighter
5:37
looks fun. Yeah, I'm excited for that. I like
5:40
that we've swung into this whole like genre of
5:43
like absurdist, like nostalgia movie where the
5:47
universe within the film takes itself very seriously.
5:50
And I'm like, rather than being a spoof of these
5:52
things, kind of like the first street fighter
5:54
movie, they're just like, no, this is the world
5:56
these characters exist in and they're going to
5:58
treat it like it's real. And I'm like, I like
6:00
that. They're just giving us the franchise, honestly.
6:03
And that's all I want. That is all I want. Be
6:05
true to it. And it's stupid. And it's the eighties.
6:10
and i love it was a great little uh promotional
6:14
video where the current director of the street
6:16
fighter video game franchise like got to go hang
6:18
out on set and like there's footage of him like
6:21
playing street fighter 6 with guile in full guile
6:24
makeup hair hell yeah nice yeah that hair is
6:28
fucking looking good it's something it's so now
6:31
you know i'm always gonna love uh jcvd but uh
6:34
this this new one really has me going i love
6:37
uh the the cami uh ripping on chung lee just
6:41
being like why is everybody so obsessed with
6:44
your thighs but this podcast has absolutely nothing
6:49
to do with nicholas cage today we're here to
6:52
talk about Teen Titans go to the movies. Oh,
6:56
you got it. Yeah. Wait a minute. This podcast
6:59
has everything to do with Nicolas Cage. That's
7:01
why we watched Teen Titans go to the movies.
7:04
Wait, did I say Nicolas Cage? I thought I said
7:06
Street Fighter. You said Nicolas Cage. Do a clean
7:08
take of Street Fighter. Nope. Street Fighter.
7:13
good enough yeah this sounds exactly like me
7:16
way to hit that audio honey buddy welcome back
7:20
to cage match colon around about colon around
7:23
about way of meeting nicholas cage i'm your host
7:26
john aka honey bunny no one's saying that is
7:33
that what you said i said audio honey buddy which
7:38
is yeah buddy okay when he refers to his own
7:41
voice as yeah smooth here with my co -host nick
7:47
i'm nick and our producer peter hello and this
7:54
week's guest we have Hi, I am Hornback. Nice
7:59
to meet you all again. Goddammit! Third time
8:02
in Hornback! What did I do? So many times not
8:05
doxing you and bleeping your name out, you ruined
8:07
it! Screw it, nothing matters anymore. Yeah,
8:11
fair enough. Yeah, you break your leg once and
8:14
nothing fucking matters anymore. One time. I've
8:17
met the Reaper. Seven years ago. What is life?
8:20
It's just pain. Yeah. honestly i i do not break
8:26
your leg otherwise you'll fall into a deep depression
8:28
for months or years or decades like will you
8:33
ever come out of this i don't think so because
8:35
okay so now we're getting into like the sun coming
8:38
up and ruining everything uh makes all those
8:42
flowers fucking yeah pollen in the air and the
8:45
bees are out there were bees yesterday and and
8:48
it ruined That's good. The bees are disappearing.
8:52
We need those. Not the bees. I didn't have a
8:57
good day yesterday. I almost got sunburned. What
9:00
is the ideal weather for you? Because you don't
9:02
like it when it's icy, but the sun, also bad.
9:05
Okay. Cloudy and 50 Fahrenheit or so, if we're
9:09
going to do that. I love that you specified Fahrenheit.
9:12
Yeah, no. But what about for our international
9:14
listeners? What's that? You know, it's probably
9:17
like... 10 ish or so i'm gonna go with yeah nine
9:23
nine ten i've been trying to convert to the metric
9:26
system internally and and so so i i'm gonna sound
9:30
like a total idiot for this one but we love the
9:33
metric system here we're actually a full metric
9:35
podcast Yeah, yeah. You know, I noticed when
9:38
I walked in here that I am mega correct. You
9:41
fucking crushed it. Ten? Yeah. Wow. I love that.
9:44
Okay. Nick, you just failed the America test.
9:49
Get him! Come on in, Ice. Let's go. This fucking
9:54
nerd uses centigrade. Well, he failed something
9:58
else too, Sean. what's that yeah so okay so what
10:03
happened was um i may not have watched the right
10:07
movie and but but that's okay but so you know
10:14
lots of things happened and you know through
10:17
various happenings and ups and downs and things
10:24
got a little complicated. And, you know, there
10:28
was this other movie that I ended up watching,
10:30
211. You know, which was pretty good. But the
10:35
thing is, though, like, I feel like I've seen
10:39
a few episodes of Teen Titans go. So therefore,
10:42
I am qualified to talk about this movie. And
10:45
we get to teach you about this movie. Yeah. And
10:47
so I know a lot about the franchise and how there's
10:50
various characters in it. That is accurate. i
10:56
love describing a film as it has various yeah
10:59
name the teen titans okay so you got okay so
11:02
this is going from memory all right so you got
11:05
the green guy that's like kind of like a you
11:11
know hip -hop guy the furry all right yeah so
11:13
then you got like the um celestial lady um jimmy
11:17
bob i'm going with beast boy there we go um you
11:21
know it's okay so then you got like celestial
11:23
lady who's who doesn't understand life but is
11:28
also understanding the nature of the universe
11:30
or some crap okay then there's Mrs. Cosmos. I
11:37
nailed it. Starfire. All right. All right. OK,
11:40
so then there's like a bat kid dude like. I'm
11:45
pretty sure. Oh, wow. You know Robin. Everyone
11:49
fucking knows Robin. All right, Robin, yeah.
11:51
No, no, this sounds bad, but okay. I'll explain.
11:57
I'll explain the conditions in which I got to
12:00
know all this in a second here, but okay. So
12:04
I feel like there's another one. You're missing
12:06
issues. Two more. Okay, all right. It's actually
12:10
racist that you're not remembering them. Oh,
12:13
yeah. Or say, oh, you can't say that on this
12:17
podcast. I'm going to stop you right now. You
12:19
can't say that word. Um, uh, why don't you just
12:23
like admonish Nick? Absolutely. Why don't you
12:28
fill me in on on who? No, no, no, no. Hold on.
12:32
We're going to we're going to guide you through
12:34
this. OK, so his her name is. um adriana yeah
12:43
perfect all right cool raven she's the one raven
12:48
who has like a right dark she's lord dad okay
12:51
yeah yeah dark daddy demon demon dad demon dad
12:55
yeah i think we've all got one of those yeah
12:58
and you've got one more character actually i
13:00
don't thanks for bringing it up okay and this
13:04
one believe it or not i i am i this is how i
13:07
actually kind of remembered it the cyborg dude
13:09
and um okay what was his name mr cyborg dude
13:13
i'm pretty sure you're not far off yeah i like
13:18
to get filthy with him oh mr cyborg dude uh may
13:22
i tell you all how i know about teen titans because
13:25
this is this is a bit of a story um i was i was
13:29
fucking off in montreal eating delicious food
13:33
and you know drinking a bit and like i'm in a
13:37
hotel room where i can't like connect the laptop
13:40
or anything to the tv so all i've got is like
13:42
the channels to work with and there's this cartoon
13:44
uh network so i turn it on and then it's like
13:48
they're doing what's the cartoon network called
13:50
I don't remember. Some Canadian thing. It wasn't
13:52
Cartoon Network. Fuck you. It was Le Cartoon
13:55
Network. This was Montreal, you're right. Yeah,
13:58
yeah, yeah. Might have been something like that.
14:01
Okay, so they're doing like a Teen Titans Go
14:03
marathon. I'm like, yeah, this sucks, but whatever.
14:07
I don't really care. But I'm hornback. I'm traveling
14:09
abroad, so I'm going to stay in my hotel room.
14:11
Yeah, as you would, as you would. So I'm coming
14:13
back to the hotel room, kind of drunk, and I
14:17
can't sleep, and Teen Titans is still. going
14:19
on and then like they they cut to an episode
14:23
and it's actually kind of kind of an interesting
14:26
one it's it was an homage to like 80s metal And
14:30
I'm like totally into it. It was called called
14:33
The Night Begins to Shine. And so I looked into
14:38
this afterwards and apparently it was just like
14:40
some stock music that they had. But it slapped.
14:45
It was like actually good, like in like an 80s
14:48
metal song. And so like they built an entire
14:51
episode around like, let's just go to this 80s
14:54
metal universe. And it was kind of like, you
14:57
know, heavy metal, Sammy Hagar. hell yeah oh
15:00
i was thinking like blue dorks and like no like
15:03
cartoon boobies but like it actually fucking
15:05
rocked and then i like i i remember being like
15:08
god damn like this is cool so it's reading about
15:11
they're gonna do like a spin -off of like that
15:13
entire concept of like 80s metal homage with
15:18
teen titans go and i was all like this is so
15:21
cool so then i started watching other bits of
15:24
of the episodes i'm like this thing sucks so
15:27
i don't know why they yeah this was a two part
15:30
episode uh there's part two the night begins
15:35
to shine which is the sequel part two The day
15:39
the night stopped beginning to shine. I love
15:44
this show. I like I actually recommend that that
15:48
thing like it's it's freaking cool. Yeah, both
15:50
episodes. The rest of it. Yeah, it's kind of
15:53
garbage. So, OK. All right. I'm going to rip
15:55
this bandaid off right now. You know what I recommend?
15:58
This fucking movie. OK, OK. So now I'm kind of
16:02
curious. So I'm assuming at some point in this
16:05
movie, the Teen Titans. arrive at the movies
16:10
yeah actually very early very early on yeah okay
16:14
so portals okay so then they're at the movie
16:19
and i'm pretty sure they're gonna watch the movie
16:22
and oh hold on hold on this this is hornback's
16:26
uh synopsis tell us about this movie here's what
16:31
happened in this in this movie all right so you've
16:34
got the teen titans and then they're all like
16:37
man i'm bored what should we do today and then
16:40
they're all like i don't know nobody goes to
16:43
movies anymore so let's let's go to the movies
16:46
so then they load up their portal gun apparently
16:48
and they're like i don't know we'll we'll portal
16:52
to the regal and then they clearly go to the
16:55
regal and it's all like ah crap it's you know
16:58
it's no good movies they're showing avatar again
17:00
yeah so then they take their portal gun and re
17:04
-portal to amc or something And it's like, well,
17:07
well, this is no good either. And so so then
17:10
they report old IMAX and it's like, I don't know,
17:13
it's it's a futuristic IMAX where, you know,
17:16
screens way too big. And then and then as opposed
17:19
to normal IMAX. Yeah. Where it's just so. And
17:22
then so it's an adventure. Right. So they get
17:25
sucked into this supernatural thing where they
17:28
they literally go inside the movie is is what
17:32
happens. Yeah. And because the screen's so big.
17:35
and you know it surrounds so and this is where
17:38
it went live action and uh uh who was it that
17:42
played robin again that would have been um that
17:45
guy um uh shia labeouf is what i yeah that guy
17:54
shia labeouf yeah that's robin so everybody's
17:57
favorite robin all right so then they're in the
17:59
movie but now the problem is that There's the
18:04
plot happening in the movie, but now they're
18:06
disrupting it. So like they need to get the plot
18:10
back on track. And oh, my God, we've got a temporal
18:15
disturbance. Yeah. Temporal anomaly. Yeah. Oh,
18:18
yeah. Right. Term is OK. So then, you know, they
18:23
all work together as a team using their various
18:26
powers and abilities to. help the movie ends
18:32
which then gets them sent back to the real world
18:36
and everyone learns something and then credits
18:39
roll yeah they saved casablanca yeah they did
18:42
yeah not a very good movie by the way yeah yeah
18:45
my favorite part was when uh cyborg said frankly
18:50
dear i don't give a damn Had to keep it on track.
18:54
Yeah. Yeah, they had to fix the movie. All right,
18:57
so... I can actually sum this movie up real quickly.
19:00
Just take Nick's description, and it's the exact
19:02
opposite. Almost scene for scene. Yeah, you got
19:07
that they go to a movie theater. Uh -huh. Okay,
19:10
so did they get popcorn? i don't know no i don't
19:14
think so there is one when there is no it's in
19:17
the song i think right like there's a part of
19:20
the when the titans like show robin their homemade
19:22
robin movie like star oh yeah there's some popcorn
19:25
but there's no popcorn at the movie theater what
19:28
kind of movie theater is that uh one filled with
19:33
superheroes yeah They're all just there watching
19:36
their own superhero movies. The new Batman movie.
19:38
So all these superheroes are getting movies created
19:40
about them for them. Yeah. As a distraction.
19:43
But the Teen Titans don't because they suck.
19:45
And Robin's a sidekick. Yeah. Yeah. Who has tiny
19:49
baby hands. And they're goofsters. They are goosters.
19:52
I fucking love baby hands. The baby hands joke
19:55
just continues to crack me up. Especially when
19:59
they take his gloves off and they're really like
20:00
chubby little baby hands. Now, the great thing
20:04
about this conversation that the three of us
20:05
are now going to have is that Nick will have
20:07
no idea if we are fucking with him. Yeah. So
20:10
it starts out with a giant balloon monster. Giant
20:13
balloon monster. He does. Played by Greg Davies.
20:17
Yeah. Seriously? Taskmaster. yeah that was weird
20:21
yeah so uh greg davies as a giant balloon monster
20:26
fights princess bubble gum and bubbles and princess
20:31
bubble gum from yeah adventure time she so she
20:35
voices uh starfire and bubbles voices raven yep
20:42
from powerpuff girls yeah all right neither of
20:47
them were voiced by shia labeouf so far so far
20:50
uh oh for oh for two but it starts strong like
20:53
balloon man i liked as a as a you know introductory
20:55
villain and the way they dispatched him was good
20:58
yeah oh i love putting that hole in his butt
21:00
yeah the butthole the thing about balloon man
21:03
that bugged me and this is just me being my weird
21:07
self is like he kept like blowing up different
21:10
parts of his body but like had to manually do
21:12
it and kept like blowing balloons and like blowing
21:14
wind i'm like he should be getting smaller he
21:16
hasn't he's got an intake valve somewhere there's
21:19
a finite amount of air in him that should be
21:21
getting less what isn't the bagpipe rules where
21:24
you know you kind of breathe in and out at the
21:26
same time there you go thanks i know about things
21:29
balloon man is a giant bagpipe yeah let hornback
21:32
tell you about this movie all right why don't
21:34
you just sit back down sean we got this from
21:37
here no i i love it this movie fucking starts
21:42
with a fart joke and i i'm here for it that that
21:45
hooked me there's like a solid amount of butt
21:46
jokes and fart jokes and there's like so many
21:48
butt jokes the right amount for me yeah there
21:51
is there is a two minute sequence of just one
21:55
prolonged shit joke oh yeah yeah the entire time
21:59
i'm like nick loves this i did i did yeah they
22:03
all pooped in the prop toilet you did you pooped
22:07
on my set Do not go in there. So the Teen Titans
22:13
want their movie because they want to feel included
22:16
and everyone thinks that they're little goosters.
22:20
I can relate. So they make a deal with this woman,
22:24
Jade, who is the producer of all the movies.
22:27
Jade Wilson. Kristen Bell does her voice, right?
22:31
The voice acting I thought was pretty good. I
22:33
agree. And then... They have to get an arch nemesis
22:38
as their big thing, because they can't be taken
22:40
seriously if they don't have a nemesis. I've
22:42
seen Venture Brothers. I know how this works.
22:44
A nemesis also needs to have a name that sounds
22:47
really good when you say it. Like the Joker.
22:50
Yeah. Or Lex Luthor. Yeah. Or the Rainbow Rider.
22:56
I like that. He rides the rainbow. I do like
23:02
when we got the Rainbow Rider in the film too.
23:04
It's just like, oh my god. He's just throwing
23:06
art at people like art, art, art. So they get
23:10
their arch nemesis named Slade. Slade. JoJo's
23:18
Bizarre Adventure sort of like everyone's telling
23:20
him to waggle around. Just close ups on Slade.
23:25
That's a good name, by the way. Feel free to
23:26
say it. I'm going to say it. slade there you
23:30
go you got it feels feels right yeah it's good
23:34
in the mouth yeah i'm gonna i've always said
23:36
slade was good in my mouth so yeah slade looks
23:40
like deadpool has two swords shoots guns yeah
23:42
i do enjoy that this movie is very kind of like
23:47
meta and self -aware in that like they talk about
23:50
like you know marvel versus dc franchise stanley
23:53
has his very subtle cameo in the film but then
23:58
when they get there like hey it's deadpool and
24:00
he's like i'm not deadpool he's like i was here
24:01
before deadpool deadpool should say he looks
24:02
like people should say he looks like me because
24:05
deadpool for those of you don't know was a joke
24:08
on slade wilson was like oh you mean wade wilson
24:11
was a joke on slade wilson exactly some people
24:15
this changes the whole movie for me oh yeah the
24:25
thing i love about this film is like as a lifelong
24:28
like comic book and cartoon fan i'm like this
24:30
movie has so many callbacks and references to
24:32
shit that i would enjoy that i can't imagine
24:34
that any child would get no i i love that like
24:39
when they do the the batman movie it switches
24:42
to like animated series style animation not the
24:46
teen titans animation but batman the animated
24:49
series and yeah oh that's kind of awesome did
24:52
you guys watch the teen titans go cartoon never
24:56
nope no i also didn't watch the teen titans cartoon
24:59
see i did that was solid so like i've only seen
25:03
as you guys know now a little bit of teen titans
25:07
go but a resident expert yeah yeah i i recall
25:10
it being fairly self -referential and and all
25:13
that um breaking lots of fourth wall junk and
25:17
and so i i'm i think it's cool they brought that
25:20
energy to this movie of which i'm definitely
25:22
gonna watch soon you should yeah you'll enjoy
25:25
it i think it's pretty fun yeah we'll bring you
25:27
back we'll do this episode all over we're actually
25:29
gonna fucking shit cam this yeah because all
25:31
of this is garbage because our fucking guests
25:34
didn't watch the right movie So prior to recording
25:38
prior to recording today, Nick text Peter and
25:40
I about how much he loved this movie. And then
25:42
Peter text me on the side. He's like, I can't
25:44
tell if Nick's fucking with us. Yeah, no, this
25:48
this is the right kind of I won't even call this
25:51
a kid's movie. This is the right kind of not
25:54
animated. It's not. I agree. Did you guys know
25:58
that it was going to have so much music in it?
25:59
No. Yeah, I was a little surprised by that part.
26:02
But I guess a lot of these shows, when they get
26:04
into like now we're doing a movie, it's like.
26:06
Make it a musical. I think they do that because
26:09
they got to pad it out. Yeah, probably. Well,
26:11
I feel like there's one song where like they
26:15
have their upbeat like mid movie song and the
26:17
whole song is just upbeat, upbeat. And that's
26:19
the only lyric I remember. And it's super grating
26:23
and has nothing to do with the movie. And when
26:25
the Titans are driving to Hollywood, it's Michael
26:27
Bolton. It is Michael Bolton. When the Titans
26:30
are driving to Hollywood and like. cyborgs not
26:35
paying attention and runs over the cartoon uh
26:38
80s uh you know hyper color cat that's singing
26:42
the song and they're like he's dead it's the
26:47
cops run just acknowledging to the parents at
26:53
the room like okay we're done with this shit
26:54
you can yeah yeah moving on one of the scenes
26:59
i liked and i mean i'm sure it is kind of just
27:02
to pad it all out so they decide that if there
27:03
are no superheroes then robin will deserve a
27:06
movie so they go back and they undo the origin
27:09
stories for all the superheroes yeah oh that's
27:12
fun so using a time machines powered by radium
27:16
Yeah, they had to get super rad tricks to get
27:18
the radium up. They were like not power wheels,
27:21
big wheels. Yeah, exactly. Big wheels that they
27:23
were all riding and they had to do like sick
27:26
jumps and shit. It's not rad enough. We need
27:31
to be radder. But I did like when they got rid
27:35
of Aquaman by just throwing like six pack. plastic
27:39
holder from beer cans yeah i love how every prank
27:43
on aquaman in this movie is just them killing
27:45
aquaman yeah now uh the the one origin that they
27:50
never address anywhere else is just the ninja
27:52
turtles they're like four turtles start walking
27:54
out of a sewer and they just turn them around
27:56
and they walk back into the smiley faces the
27:58
whole time undid that origin story oh man yeah
28:05
that was good i loved uh with batman it's like
28:08
thanks for taking me to the movie let's take
28:11
this shortcut home don't go down there it's literally
28:14
called crime alley go down happy fun street okay
28:19
and then when they undo all of this yeah like
28:22
put pearl necklace on his mom and like shove
28:25
her down the alley fire sounds and they're like
28:28
nice oh man i also loved when they finally get
28:34
to hollywood um just talking about the death
28:37
of Martha Wayne. When they get to Hollywood,
28:39
you have Batman be Superman too. And they're
28:41
like punching up. It's like, what's your mommy's
28:43
name? Martha. That's my mommy's name. And they
28:47
start hugging. Wait a minute. What's your dad's
28:49
name? Thomas. It's Thomas. It's so dumb. Also,
28:57
there's so many like the backgrounds on these
29:00
movies, all the different like fake movie posters
29:03
and like. shops um when they get to hollywood
29:07
and there's they get outside like um the big
29:09
theater there's a photo there's a big poster
29:12
of superman with a mustache and i don't know
29:14
if you saw uh i didn't even notice that the detective
29:17
chimp movie was the search for the missing mustache
29:20
and the s is the superman logo nice that's pretty
29:24
cool yeah there's definitely some like good easter
29:27
egg shit in here yeah my favorite one is still
29:29
apocalypse and it's dark side like all done up
29:33
with like lipstick and makeup god i didn't even
29:35
notice that one also jonah rex there's a jonah
29:39
hex like tyrannosaurus rex poster all over the
29:42
movie i liked that one yeah this movie's uh thick
29:45
with it i like it a lot so then they get their
29:47
movie But the Titans kind of fuck it up. The
29:49
Titans kind of fuck it up because they're dumb.
29:51
They poop in the prop toilet a bunch, all of
29:53
them. Everyone who wakes up or Robin. Do they
29:55
got a Taco Bell or something? I think you just
29:57
got to christen a toilet. Yeah, yeah. The first
29:59
thing you do when you see a new toilet, you got
30:00
to shit in it. You shit in that toilet. This
30:01
is something I know. Yeah, Nick understands.
30:04
And then someone playing the actor for Slade
30:07
shows up and they start beating the shit out
30:09
of him because they're like, it's Slade. And
30:11
it turns out it's actor Shia LaBeouf. Shia LaBeouf.
30:13
Oh, it's Shia LaBeouf. actual cannibal shia labeouf
30:18
i re -watched that video again the other day
30:23
too you know what every time it comes up i'm
30:26
gonna watch it yeah it's in a solid rotation
30:28
for me now i'm just like i'm listening to shia
30:31
labeouf blood oozing from your stump leg well
30:38
so part of the reason the titans get that movie
30:40
is because they defeat slade and get like the
30:43
mcguffin of the movie which they just acknowledge
30:45
is a mcguffin um and they put it in their vault
30:49
so to get it back jade wilson like turns robin
30:54
against the titans and gives him his own movie
30:56
so he disowns them yeah so she can like trick
31:00
him into getting into the mind manipulation that's
31:05
slade's power and so i thought they were going
31:08
to do the thing that people get mad about all
31:11
the time uh on you know certain forums were like
31:14
they made the villain a bad guy or they like
31:17
gender bent this character no jade wilson is
31:20
not slade slade is disguised as jade She takes
31:25
her face off and it's just Slade Wilson in full
31:29
armor. Just Deathstroke. I wrote this quote that
31:36
Robin says when it's revealed. You were wearing
31:39
a lady director's mask over your Slade mask the
31:41
whole time? Oh, man. Doesn't that get really
31:49
sweaty? Man, I've had a rash. You know what?
31:51
That doesn't matter. also will arnett is will
31:57
arnett is slayed is just so good oh he's great
32:00
yeah i like him as a voice actor just in general
32:04
yeah i i don't know a lot about what's going
32:06
on but i i like will arnett so i'm just gonna
32:09
yeah yeah i liked when they first get to the
32:11
studio and they're looking past the big like
32:14
wb water tower and that's where the animaniacs
32:16
live yeah did you guys ever see the animaniacs
32:21
reboot yeah i never watched it i enjoyed it it
32:24
was tolerable yeah i think at some point you
32:27
know just let it go you can't bring things back
32:32
after it's been too long that's fair yeah i mean
32:35
clearly there were some things that they just
32:36
couldn't do again like i don't know if did they
32:40
not do good pigeons in the reboot uh there was
32:43
one of the like classic things that they didn't
32:46
bring back but either way i i think generally
32:50
bringing things back all never works um be curious
32:54
if y 'all can think of anything yeah i fucking
32:56
hate bringing things back especially guests i'm
33:02
really sorry hey it's hornback our three -time
33:07
guest we're just doing this now we're just bringing
33:09
back people it's like oh you haven't hit three
33:11
yet let's get you to get you on we don't have
33:13
that many episodes left only since nick brought
33:16
since hardback brought up like you know bringing
33:18
things back the one of the weirder parts of this
33:21
movie is the mid -credit roll where it like oh
33:24
yeah the teen titans from the teen titans show
33:28
before teen titans go like hack the credits and
33:32
it's like it's like we might have found a way
33:33
back kind of like little sequel bait for people
33:37
like me who like loved the show that got unceremoniously
33:40
canceled 14 times ago i'm like that's weird why
33:44
is that there who's that for yeah were they planning
33:46
it like a clearly it was for you universal thing
33:48
yeah it was for you yeah huh yeah i don't know
33:51
that was confusing for me that's always my things
33:53
with these like kids movies where it's like okay
33:55
the demographic for this 10 to 12 year olds every
33:59
joke in this movie is made for my 40 year old
34:02
ass oh yeah absolutely that's why i contend this
34:05
is not a kid's movie it's not like but it's it's
34:08
so weird there are animated movies that are clearly
34:11
made for adults that are just like stupid but
34:14
that kids can enjoy i'm thinking of like shreks
34:16
where i'm like you break that down that's not
34:18
a kid's movie oh yeah absolutely but then you
34:21
have this which is like fart poop jokes like
34:23
bright colors like kids songs yeah the most obscure
34:27
dc references you will ever say yeah there's
34:32
a whole like robin has a dream that's the opening
34:35
of the lion king with like different superheroes
34:38
and it's amazing i love that they did that and
34:42
then when batman holds robin up they're just
34:45
like wait we came here for this flash voiced
34:50
by uh will wheaton and then batman just like
34:57
like chucks robin off the building baby robin
35:00
off the building i honestly recall from from
35:03
a few episodes of the cartoon that it is a lot
35:07
of uh references callbacks self -referential
35:10
stuff cutaway jokes no not as bad as you know
35:14
family guy crap but um uh it sounds to me on
35:19
this movie that i'm totally knowledgeable about
35:22
that that it is following the um the the cartoon
35:26
at least in terms of structure which now i'm
35:28
curious why the hell haven't you guys seen this
35:30
car the the cartoon like i i know it generally
35:34
wasn't well uh reviewed and all that because
35:37
i'm a 40 year old man i don't have time for uh
35:39
watching cartoons this is because nicholas cage
35:42
is in it speaking of which nicholas cage is in
35:44
this movie yeah look out there folks he's superman
35:47
classic superman you goosters um i didn't there
35:53
aren't i don't think he's got a lot like he's
35:55
in it a fair amount i don't think he's got a
35:57
lot of great lines uh there's just the one line
36:00
when the titans show up to stop jade and she's
36:03
like sadly robin couldn't be here tonight because
36:05
he's fighting with explosive diarrhea and superman
36:10
just goes wow fighting through explosive diarrhea
36:13
what a champ yeah when robin does show up he's
36:17
like so strong so brave but he's a great superman
36:22
i genuinely enjoy his superman yeah i think he
36:26
did a great job it was a lot of fun um uh did
36:30
you guys catch the national treasure joke yes
36:33
the what uh when the titans like have a kryptonite
36:36
party and like kicks me like Kicks Superman's
36:39
ass. Robin goes, Titans, how could you do that
36:41
to Superman? He's a national treasure. Yeah.
36:46
That's good. Yeah. Yeah. So let's see what else
36:48
happens. So Slade steals back the crystals. Slade.
36:53
Slade. For mind control. And then turns all the
36:56
superheroes against the Teen Titans. Uh -huh.
36:59
And they void them all. Steals the crystal to
37:01
power his doomsday device. Right. I did like
37:04
that they kept putting all the superheroes and
37:06
people in the void. oh yeah okay this is something
37:10
i do really appreciate because again kids movie
37:13
i don't expect it to like really pay that much
37:16
attention to continuity but they do establish
37:18
early on that raven just can teleport anything
37:21
anywhere just has portals and it is the problem
37:23
that's all it is the solution to every problem
37:25
yeah portals how are we gonna get in there including
37:28
just portaling all the like mind -controlled
37:30
superheroes away so when they finally slight
37:32
the fight the big slade robot uh they're like
37:35
portal portal it opens up and it's too big to
37:37
go through the portal yeah it just does head
37:40
gets stuck in there like i love when he pops
37:42
out he's like that was weird so they win with
37:48
teamwork right yeah yeah yeah cyborg puts his
37:51
boombox sounds on yeah right because he's just
37:54
apparently only good for being a boobus oh no
37:58
the best thing that cyborg does was when his
38:01
head comes out of his butt like his butt cheeks
38:03
separate his head pops out he's just she's got
38:06
these little like wire arms that's nuts no it's
38:11
butts this movie does highlight one of the things
38:15
i've always found super interesting about the
38:18
teen titans as a concept is how hard they need
38:21
to push that robin is useful on this team oh
38:24
yeah he's the leader he's yeah he's the leader
38:27
but even his like part of the rap just talks
38:29
about how he has like boomerangs and a bo staff
38:31
when everyone else is like we're essentially
38:34
gods i'm the leader guys i like when they talk
38:40
about his totally adult hands like they they
38:43
slip like weirdly detailed hand gloves on but
38:48
even at the end of this movie when they all have
38:51
to combine their powers together to defeat slade's
38:53
giant robot all robin is doing is writing on
38:58
beast boy yeah because he can't do anything and
39:02
robin yeah earlier in the film he rides uh cyborg
39:08
cyborg turns into like a little jet for him and
39:11
then like the jet body gets fucked up and cyborg's
39:14
like oh what you do to my body because he was
39:19
just a head yeah fucking awesome oh i did like
39:24
that his baby hands came into play for escaping
39:26
so he's trapped in in the teen titans tower yeah
39:29
i was like what am i gonna do and then it was
39:31
like oh wait Baby hands. He just pulls his hands
39:34
out of these gloves that are trapped. Yeah, when
39:36
he was manicured to the wall, I was just like,
39:38
use your baby hands. And then he's like, I have
39:41
baby hands. Oh, the stupid little. I didn't like
39:46
the look of chubby little fucking grippy knuckle
39:51
things. I don't know. I fucking hate baby hands.
39:56
I want to just pay deference to just how good
39:58
Will Arnett is in this film. Just amazingly like.
40:02
My favorite line from this movie is a Will Arnett
40:04
line, and it's the final showdown when he is
40:06
in the giant mech suit and he just goes, you're
40:09
never going to beat me now that I'm a giant robot.
40:11
Give up. This is dumb. Now you're just wasting
40:13
everybody and everyone else's time. It's so good.
40:18
It's just so much fun. I do want to also call
40:22
out the one and only IMDb credit for Kal -El
40:28
Cage is this film. Oh, really? He's the voice
40:31
of young Batman leaving the theater of young
40:33
Bruce Wayne. Oh, interesting. Yeah, that's Kal
40:37
-El Cage. And this is the only thing on his IMDb.
40:41
Interesting. I would have expected them to cast
40:43
him as baby Kal -El. No. Oh, what about imitation
40:49
Marlon Brando? Oh, yeah, that was good. Oh, boy.
40:56
Yeah, this movie fucking rips, dude. It's pretty
40:57
good. If you're going to watch a cartoon and
41:00
you like superheroes, it's easy to recommend
41:03
it. I'll probably watch it again tonight or something.
41:06
Well, I'm going to watch it because it sounds
41:08
pretty good. I was doing a rewatch right before
41:10
this. I was having a blast. I just wish I had
41:14
more time this morning. I would have watched
41:15
it again today. Y 'all might want to actually
41:17
watch the cartoon then. I mean, it's hit or miss.
41:23
We'll at least watch. What was that two -part?
41:26
It's like the day the night stopped night and
41:29
day. The night shining of the whatever, I don't
41:32
care. The day the night stopped beginning to
41:34
shine and night begins to shine. Do you watch
41:39
it? Like, I think it's like, yeah, anyway, it's
41:43
actually good and it made me realize that this
41:46
franchise might actually be good and you heard
41:50
it here, folks. This franchise might be good.
41:55
So they go to the movies. All these things happen.
42:00
They get their movie. Do they leave the movies?
42:05
They do not get their movie. They don't get their
42:08
movie yet. Well, Robin gets a movie, but it's
42:11
all designed for mind manipulation. Make everybody
42:14
watch it for mind manipulation. Mind manipulation.
42:18
I loved his mind manipulation skills. Oh, yeah.
42:22
well it was like oh you got something on your
42:25
shirt you should probably take care of that and
42:28
robin's just like i'm not wearing a shirt he
42:31
like slaps his bare chest oh what a great one
42:36
this simple pencil made of wood and graphite
42:41
and held together by polymers with a delightful
42:44
little eraser can a solid pencil do this i love
42:53
that we could say every one of these fucking
42:55
jokes but there's zero context to everything
42:58
we're saying it's enjoyable yeah it's fun if
43:03
you want to just watch something for 82 minutes
43:05
or whatever like trust me it's funnier than we
43:07
are that's true uh Oh, but not funnier than we
43:14
think we are. Oh, now I'm sad. That's why we
43:21
brought this podcast together, Sean. It was all
43:23
an intervention. Four years. Four years for this,
43:26
huh? Yep. We really had to let the joke play
43:30
itself out before we could get you to acknowledge
43:32
that the joke has played itself out. Well, Nick,
43:35
any final thoughts? Yeah. Yeah, I got I got a
43:38
post film recap. Tell us about it. All right.
43:41
Well, let me let me now that I have. heard various
43:44
words and such um well let me give you a better
43:48
synopsis so what goes on in this movie is you
43:51
have all the various teen titans whose names
43:54
are robin cyborg beast man close they're teens
44:01
he's a beast boy all right beast beast teen um
44:05
and then celestial lady celestial girl still
44:09
nailing it um yeah and then oh with um Raven.
44:16
Yeah, that's good. No one no one can be mad at
44:20
me. All right. So then. All right. So they're
44:24
all like, man, why is everyone get movies made
44:28
about them and not us? So then they're all like,
44:30
we should go to the movies. So they'll make a
44:34
movie about us. All right. And so then they get
44:37
there and then all the other. important people
44:41
are in the audience and then they get and then
44:43
there's a director there who's all like i'm making
44:45
movies about you right now i'm i'm pretty sure
44:48
is how this goes so therefore um you know they're
44:53
in the back row because they they got in late
44:56
and so um front row and and so therefore they
45:02
don't you know, it's like getting late and then
45:05
they're all like, we don't have time to make
45:07
movies about you. Also, you're not important.
45:10
But if you had an arch nemesis. Oh, by the way,
45:14
there's this guy, Slade. Slade. Over there. He's
45:19
bored, so he'll be your arch -nepth. He's bored.
45:23
Fucking Slade back in the corner. He ain't got
45:26
nothing to do. All right, so then they're all
45:29
like, all right, let's beat up the Slade, but
45:31
then he's got mind control powers. Mind manipulation.
45:35
Mind manipulation! And so then... Other things
45:42
happen, I don't quite remember, but they're like,
45:45
oh man, there's Stan Lee, he's given us inspiration,
45:49
so now we will use our powers of defeating the
45:55
bad guy, and so they defeat the bad guy. Oh,
45:59
Superman's in there, and says words, and then...
46:04
good words yeah they're good kind of words um
46:06
but then they're hanging out with the kryptonite
46:08
folk and then then uh so bad things happen so
46:12
then um uh you know they defeat slade and and
46:18
uh and then it's all like but you know cool and
46:22
all but you still don't get a movie made about
46:24
you and then they go home dejected i'm pretty
46:27
sure that's how this And that's Teen Titans go
46:30
to the movies. 82 minutes with disappointment
46:35
at the end. But not for me. Nope. Really? I have
46:39
loved this movie. It was so much fun. I'm frequently
46:43
disappointed after leaving things I love. Oh,
46:49
man. I guess I just have like one question. What?
46:54
Peter. yes how are babies made boom oh go watch
47:04
the movie to get the reference yeah exactly all
47:07
right and thank you to our sparkle buddies josh
47:09
josie matt adam bill stewart and willow and to
47:12
our cage dancers john freeman nathan and cameron
47:14
and of course to bill panks for our intro music
47:25
So goddamn dumb. I really should have watched
47:29
this freaking movie. Bye. Bye.