Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / From Barriers to Breakthroughs 4/7: You Never Need Permission to Be You. #TrustYourselfThursday.

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From Barriers to Breakthroughs 4/7: You Never Need Permission to Be You. #TrustYourselfThursday. · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Welcome back, fam.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: It's Dr Sweet here and you're listening to the Sweet Spot.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: It's Trust Yourself Thursday and you are with the Sweet Spot Squad today.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: So here on Trust Yourself Thursday, we're going to reminisce a little bit about the whole week.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Remember, yesterday we talked about the importance of bracing for any obstacle that comes your way by embracing the growth mindset and aiming high on Win it All Wednesday.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: That was yesterday.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: And also remember how we discussed overcoming the fear of standing out, the trusting of your own abilities to achieve greatness.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: Well, today we're going to dive even deeper.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: It's all about that inner voice, the gut feeling.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: I had discussed this, I think, on Tuesday on Take Action Tuesday.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: But why is it so hard forguessing ourselves and doubting our own God-given wisdom?
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: On Monday we talked about the Zygarnik effect.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember that one.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: How unfinished tasks create this mental clutter in our mind that it makes it harder for us to even begin.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: By the way, I did clean out that closet that I told you.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: I didn't let this iconic effect stop me.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: I broke it down into smaller tasks.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: It took me a few days, but I was able to do it.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: On Tuesday we tackled analysis, paralysis.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: We talked about how you've got to not let overanalyzing lead to inaction.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: And you know, yesterday, when we talked about the growth mindset, it dawned on me that fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of being shamed by others, confirming secret doubts, is a big reason we don't get anything done.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: All of these internal barriers can lead us to question ourselves and to doubt our own abilities, and a lot of times it's us doubting us that's creating the biggest problem.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Think about it when you're constantly battling feelings of inadequacy or the fear of judgment, it's no wonder you might start to question your own inner judgment, your own inner compass, and we begin to rely on external validation.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: It happens very quickly.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: We start seeking approval from others, we start needing their advice, we start needing their direction and going by what they say, trusting their opinions.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying that they're all wrong, but when we get to a place that that's all we can do is rely, that we cannot move forward unless somebody else validates it for invalidated.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: For us, nasa, we've got a problem, because what this could lead to is us not trusting our own gut instincts, not trusting the Holy Spirit within us I like to call it the Holy Spirit because this is synthesizing soul and science.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, those gut instincts or that spiritual intuition we have should not be invalidated, because what happens is it can lead to a disconnect between our values and our actions.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: We all have values, things that we value, that are dear to us, that are core values, that are important to us, and we should align our actions with these values.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Right, but lots of times we're not aligned with what we really feel on the inside and what we're doing on the outside to please people or to look a certain way, and this, my friend, creates inner conflict.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: And this is where the big term that we use in psychology, called cognitive dissonance, comes in.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: So cognitive dissonance big word, is that very uncomfortable feeling when your actions don't match your values or when you hold two conflicting beliefs in inside.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: And you know what the word?
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Ancient wisdom tells us that a house that's divided against itself it really can't stand, it has problems.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: So to resolve this cognitive dissonance, where we have this mismatch, we sometimes ignore the gut feeling, we sometimes ignore that inner voice telling us what's truly right, but we don't want to hear it, we suppress it.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: It's like we're trying to convince ourselves that we're on the right path intellectually, using the prefrontal cortex.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: Remember that, that dude in the brain, right, we all know about that.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: So we kind of tell ourselves something, even though deep down in our limbic system something's telling us that something isn't right.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: And this often ties into where we completely allow what we call outside forces, the external locus of control.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Something outside is going to start controlling you and you're no longer going to make your own choices.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: And it's sad and it's difficult and it's disappointing.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: It's easy to give away our power.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: Everything is always Look you, look at TV, the advertisers everybody's vying for power over us to make us make choices.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: So we have to be careful.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: It's easy to give away our power to rely on others' opinions or circumstances when we are unsure of ourselves.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: It feels safer in the moment to give the power away and have someone else make the decision or tell us what to do.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: But you know what that does.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: It keeps us from truly owning our own decisions and trusting our own judgment.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: But listen, it's not all bad news.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Here's the secret you do have an inner compass.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: You do have a deep well of wisdom inside of you.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: Some call it the Holy Spirit.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: Let's tap into that today.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: This is Trust Yourself Thursday.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: So first I want you to practice what we call value-aligned decision-making.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Okay, so take some time to reflect on your core values.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: What are your core values?
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: What do you stand for?
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: They may be just words.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: I remember I was at West Point a few years ago and they had on the walls honor duty country and I'm like, wow, those are clear core values.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: What are yours?
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: What matters to you?
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: And then checking with yourself on your core values, and then I challenge you to ask yourself are my decisions and actions aligned with my core values or not?
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: Only you can answer that question.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: And if they're not, you know what you have to do.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Okay, you've got to align up your values with your core decisions and your core actions.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Okay, so that's how you build inner trust.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Core decisions, core actions and core values are all lined up.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: And here's another powerful tool Start paying attention to yourself, to how you breathe, to how your body is positioned, to the thoughts that you're having, and look at them without judgment.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Don't judge yourself.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Just start noticing.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: One of my favorite lines is notice how you're being, just notice, just notice.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: I want you to notice how you're being, pay attention to you.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: They call this mindfulness, and you know what will happen when you start being more mindful.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: You will start to hear the inner voice, when you sit in silence and solitude and give yourself a moment to surrender to that quietness and to the quiet and the silence around you, so that you can be your truest self.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Because it's in stillness that you find your truest self and, for those of my scriptural ancient warriors, it's in stillness that you find your divine maker.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: It is in stillness that we access the mystery that we call God.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: You know, shakespeare also said it well To thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the day.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: Thou canst not then be false to any man.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: A little bit on the heavy English side there, there, you know, but hey, I get it.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: Shakespeare.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: You see, what shakespeare is trying to tell us is that trusting yourself is the foundation for everything else.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: It's about honoring our inner truth and making choices that reflect who we truly are.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: You know what this does it builds momentum.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: The momentum that the striatum remember that brain structure we talked about, that action center the momentum that we need to act and to do the things that are lined up with who we are.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: All right, my friends.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: So we're going to build momentum here on Trust Yourself.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: Thursday, we're going to take action, we're going to overcome self-doubt and we're going to trust ourselves.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: So listen, you go out there, trust yourself, do something that amazes you, because you trusted you and you gave yourself a chance, and then I'll see you tomorrow.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: I'll see you tomorrow for Finish Strong Friday.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Until then, keep it real, keep it moving and keep it sweet.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: All now, this is dr sweet and of course, you can check me out on youtube and on linkedin, and of course, I'm also on twitter, or x as they like to call it, and on threads.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Take care, thank you.