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Comfortably Uncomfortable · The Aligned Actor

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, and welcome to The Aligned Actor Podcast.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Amy Schloerb, your friendly fellow actor and mindfulness and mindset coach.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the podcast where I offer practical mindfulness tools
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: and mindset shifts designed to help us all thrive in our full actor lives.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because we all know actor life is a stressful, relentless roller coaster.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's full of ups and downs, twists and turns.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes there's full-on loop-de-loops.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: There's uncertainty.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: There's rejection.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: There's unpredictable urgency.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Hurry up!
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Hurry up!
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Go, go, go, go, go!
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Get it all done right now!
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: And all of that is stressful, and all of that will constantly test us.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: And the only way that we're going to survive long term in this career is
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: if we are taking care of ourselves and finding effective ways to handle all of
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: the stress that is just baked into actor life.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: I think one of my big main goals on this podcast and with The Aligned Actor brand
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: in general is that I want us all to be staying aligned with who we are,
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: who am I as an actor,
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: what do I want as an actor, And why do I choose to be an actor every single day?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: So staying aligned and in congruency,
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: I guess,
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: with each of those ideas,
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: because the industry will constantly test us on those ideas.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: And it will test us because rejection starts to make us question,
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: well, if I haven't booked anything all year, can I still call myself an actor?
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, uncertainty makes us question things.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: And urgency makes us question things.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Those bring up uncomfortable states.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Rejection, uncertainty, and urgency all bring up very uncomfortable states within our bodies.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's when we start to question ourselves.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: What am I even doing here?
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Do I even want to be doing this?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: Do I like acting even if I get scared when I get an audition?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: What is going on here?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: They're uncomfortable states, but we can do something about them.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I want to talk about in this episode of The Aligned Actor podcast.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to think about the last time you didn't book a job.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: How did that feel?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry to bring the podcast all the way down, just right off the bat.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm guessing it didn't feel great.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: It was probably like, oh man.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: I really liked that one.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: I really could have used the money right now.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: What did I do wrong?
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: I just got to book something.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Rejection is an uncomfortable feeling.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: It really is.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it's likely compounded with other uncomfortable feelings.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: I know I sometimes feel, or I often feel, disappointment.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Really wanted to play that part because it seemed really fun.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Insecurity.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Self-doubt.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe even shame.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: None of that is comfortable to feel, friends.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Switching up a little bit, think about a recent slow time for you.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're in one right now.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I see you.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: How did that feel?
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I'm guessing that it sucked.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when is my next audition going to come in?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Will I ever work again?
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: You know, did I miss my time?
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: What if I never make it as an actor in the way
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: that I thought making it would look like when I was younger?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Uncertainty, all of that uncertainty is hella uncomfortable.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing in this business is guaranteed.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: There is no linear progress.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like many other professions.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: We, you know, could even achieve great success and then just stop working for whatever reason.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's that uncertain.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that is uncomfortable.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Plus, I think within the uncertainty of the slow time,
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: like am I going to work again,
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's the heartache and the longing of not getting to do what we love
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: to do.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that's hard too.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, now I want you to think about the last time you had an audition request.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: How did that feel?
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm guessing this is maybe a little different because it's a good thing, right?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yes, we like auditions.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: We like those.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: But also, there's all of that, hurry, hurry, go, go, go, go, go, get it all done now.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: I have so many things to do.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: I have to schedule stuff.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: I have to get childcare.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: I have to figure out a self-tape after my kids go to sleep.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: I have to blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Urgency is so stressful.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that is very, very uncomfortable.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: But that urgency,
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: that like, ah,
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Chicken Little and I have to get it all done now,
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: that is not a sign that we don't like acting.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: That is just your human body reacting to a new urgent situation that has emerged.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Fortunately,
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Unfortunately for all the things I've talked about so far,
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: the rejection,
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: the uncertainty,
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: and the urgency,
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: mindfulness is a great way to acknowledge and accept and get used to all
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: the uncomfortable feelings that arise from rejection, uncertainty, and urgency.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Get used to being uncomfortable without running away from those situations,
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: without making those situations mean something bad about you as an actor.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, if you
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: When you get an audition, that means you're not really an actor.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: You shouldn't feel that way.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: No, it doesn't matter.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: You're a human being.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: You got startled by something.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Mindfulness can help us become comfortable with those uncomfortable feelings
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: without running away from those situations,
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: the situations that bring up discomfort within us.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: So we can become comfortable With the incredibly uncomfortable feelings
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: of rejection, uncertainty, and urgency that are just baked into actor life.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then over time,
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: these feelings have less and less of an impact on our nervous systems
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: and our stress levels.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: So here's how this works.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: In mindfulness, we practice noticing and sitting with.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: All of our thoughts, all of our emotions, all our sensations without really engaging with them.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Without judging them or ourselves as good or bad.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: We just let them pass by like clouds in the sky.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: So we actively practice not following our thoughts off into the future or back into the past.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: None of that.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that's easier said than done.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: But it really helps just to keep showing up and to keep practicing it.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it gets easier the more you do it.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because, so the rejection of, oh, it's another one I didn't book, that lives in the past.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: And the uncertainty of, God, when will my next audition come in?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: That lives in the future.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: And the urgency of, God, I gotta figure out getting this audition done right now.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's a bit of a trickster,
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: but it also lives in the future because we're planning for getting something done.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: We're going to do that thing.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: These thoughts, they all tend to activate uncomfortable sensations in the body.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: So we get butterflies in the tummy maybe,
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: we get a heaviness overall,
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: tension in the shoulders, Accelerated breath and heart rate.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: But those sensations tend to dissipate as we train our focus on our breath in
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: the present moment.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: We let go of the past,
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: we let go of the future, we come to the present moment and we focus on our breath.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: And even if the sensations that we're experiencing surrounding the urgency or
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: the Mindfulness offers us a way to witness and allow our feelings instead
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: of stuffing them away or letting them overtake us completely.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: We can acknowledge where they manifest in our body and
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: And we could even study them curiously.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Curiosity is a big part of mindfulness.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I even use that to help with future roles because I'm like,
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: oh, this is what extreme disappointment feels like.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Noted for next time I have to play a character that's extremely disappointed about something.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: So the more we practice sitting with the uncomfortable feelings of actor life,
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: the less and less disrupting they will be for us in general.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: We can become comfortable with being uncomfortable.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, mindfulness doesn't have to look a certain way or take a really long time.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, we're going to do a little bit right now, And just try this with me, okay?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you to pick an uncomfortable state.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Rejection, uncertainty, urgency, anything else that you find uncomfortable as an actor.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: But something in those areas,
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: like, you know, rejection very closely tied to disappointment, you know, whatever.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: You can pick whatever you want to, but keep it in that sort of realm, I would think.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to pick a recent audition that I didn't book, so a rejection there.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: And you can use a little Udahagen emotional or sense memory to bring up
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: that uncomfortable feeling in your body or just remember that memory of like, yeah,
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: I remember doing that self-tape and I thought it was pretty good and I was excited
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: to do that character and I could totally see myself doing that character.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then for whatever reason, that didn't happen.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: So let that uncomfortable feeling come up in your body.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: But then let the memory go.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because we're not interested in the thoughts or the images of that memory right now.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: We just want to focus on the physical sensations of that feeling.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: So for me,
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm focusing on the physical sensation of what does being rejected feel like
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: in my body?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: What does that disappointment feel like physically?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: So where are those sensations manifesting in your body?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: For me, I think I feel it in my chest,
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: maybe a little in my stomach, and a little behind my eyes, honestly.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's just a little sting of tears that could happen, which is interesting.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: So just sit with it, allow it, study it curiously and with kindness.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Keep breathing and sitting with whatever sensations are present for you.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: I know this isn't easy, but you're doing great.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Just stay present with just that sensation,
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: the physical sensation,
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: rather than letting your mind get pulled back into the story of the rejection or
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: the story of the uncertainty or the story of the urgency.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because none of that matters.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's all over.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: We're just practicing sitting with the feeling right now.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: And you can let that go now.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that might be a little tricky,
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: so just sort of, let's take a few cleansing breaths to help with that.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: So just breathe in.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Slow exhale through pursed lips.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe shake it off if that feels good.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, all of that is in the past.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: That rejection is over.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: That uncertainty is over for now.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: That urgency, whatever it was, that's over.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's all over.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: You are here now listening to me on a podcast, watching me on a podcast.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: We are here together.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: There's something completely different happening
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: than whatever uncomfortable feelings you were experiencing before.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: So just let that be Where it needs to be.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm curious to know what that was like for you.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: For me, it was interesting.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: I was a little surprised how disappointed and rejected I ended up feeling.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think often as actors we're trained to like, don't feel disappointed.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: Don't feel rejected.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's fine.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you're fine.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Just move on.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: You can't book every job.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's fine.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Just move on.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's fine.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's fine.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's fine.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's fine.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's whatever.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: But When I let it actually be there, I was like, oh.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that was disappointing.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: The whole point of this episode is becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: As uncomfortable as it was to feel that disappointment, I'm still here.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: I still feel fine.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still doing a podcast with you.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, it's probably one of the most relaxed recordings of a podcast I've felt in a while.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I just feel here and present with you, and that's, I think, awesome.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: So even though I,
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: you know,
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: let myself really fully experience that disappointment,
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: that rejection that happened recently, I survived.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: And you can too.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it will get easier the more you practice.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: And now,
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: obviously you don't have to do a deep dive on all of your uncomfortable feelings,
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: you know, when they arise.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this doesn't have to become masochistic.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: Don't torture yourself with this.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know,
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: maybe the next time one comes up,
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: maybe the next time you don't book something,
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Let yourself feel a little disappointed.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Let yourself feel really disappointed.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Let yourself feel as disappointed as you want to feel.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: Let yourself feel rejected.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's not fun.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: It sucks.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: But you'll get through it.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: Just let yourself be curious about it.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: Be open to it.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: And the more you can do that,
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: the less you resist it,
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: the easier it will be able to just sort of move through your system And you can go
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: on to the next thing that you want to go on to in life.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: You can breathe with it,
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: be kind to yourself,
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: and I think you'll become a little bit more comfortable with being uncomfortable.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's the whole point of this episode.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for joining me today.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you found this content helpful and inspiring,
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: I would be so honored if you would leave a comment.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: Share it with your actor pals so that more people are introduced to this podcast
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: because that would be awesome.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: And you can also check out all of my offerings below on the Substack if you're
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: on Substack or you can click over to the Substack if you're on some other platform.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.