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128. What do you want? · Your Enriched Self

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Over the years, I've gotten so much learning from my running, and one
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learning that I got last year when I did my half marathon was recognizing that
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the first leg of that race for me was a challenge, and at one
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point I had to stop literally ground myself. I mean I took my shoes
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off and got myself grounded because I fell off and it wouldn't be wise for
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me to go on knowing that I didn't have things aligned and going in a
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direction that I wanted to go. Although at the moment I saw racers,
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you know, go ahead of me, I did not let that intimidate me
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because I knew that if I could get back on track and get myself in
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my race, doing it my way, my pace, that I would conquer
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the thirteen point one miles. It was the best decision I made to make
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that stop again. Temporarily it felt uneasy, uncomfortable and awkward, but in
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the end I ran that race with such confidence and at a pace that even
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helped me have a personal record in that length of race. And I say
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all that because I know so many of you have started your twenty twenty four
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You started this new year, and I don't know when you're listening to this
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episode, but I'm here to tell you it's not how you start, it's
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how you finish. And so yes, the start is important, but there
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are going to be moments just like what happened with me, where I had
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to recalibrate, I had to literally stop and I watched others race ahead of
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me. I could have allowed that to intimidate me or make me feel limited
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in that moment, but I allow that to fuel me to get back on
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my track, to get back in the pace I needed to finish the race
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with success. So I encourage you to stay on track, stay focused on
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your race, your pace. Hello, my friends from all across the globe,
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and welcome to the Your Enrisel podcast. I'm your Hostmilen Noir. I
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am a mindset coach and your mindset advocate. And what that means in this
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world, in your world, is that each and every week I gather here
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with you so we can have conversation and discussion in a safe space. I
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want you, and I know if you're listening to this podcast, you want
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to be the best version of yourself, and it starts with these conversations.
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It's going to take daily work, which we do here each and every week,
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I help you walk it out and talk it out. We talk about
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things from self care to soul care, and I want you to be intentional
3:10
about your thinking because we know your thoughts fuel your words, and the words
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into action create the activity that help you show up as the best version of
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yourself in the world. And so if you are new to this podcast,
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I want to welcome you, Welcome you, welcome you, and thank you
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for being here. I know you could choose to be anywhere else, but
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I do know that you were brought here on purpose for a purpose, so
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stay tuned for that. And if you are a repeat listener, I want
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to thank you because we are now on episode one hundred and twenty eight and
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it's all because of you. It's all because of your commitment, your persistence,
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and your showing up for yourself each and every week. So before we
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get into the episode, if you know you know, each and every week,
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I make a deposit into the bank of you, and I do that
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by way of affirmations. Affirmations are a great way to start your day and
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command your morning. And this week's affirmation is I attract success and abundance with
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ease. I attract success and abundance with ease. I attract success and abundance
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with ease. Now, let's get ready for this week's episode of the Your
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Enriched Self podcast. I don't know about you, but, as I mentioned
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last week on the podcast, I started writing and jotting down all of my
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January goals. And I have to say it's a nice, hefty list.
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And I am just as excited as I am a little petrified of all the
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things that I want to get done, because by the time we start next
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week, we're going to be halfway through the month, And so what have
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I gotten done? And I think what that brought up in my spirit is
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the question of what do you want? And I think it's a provoking question
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that we have to ask ourselves. You know, when you think about that
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question, I think about being a kid and you having a level of frustration
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or something in that moment the question has asked to you what do you want?
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Or even as a parent, I've asked my kids what do you want?
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And outside of those scenarios of those questions being asked maybe by a teacher
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or someone in your life, right at some point in your life, I
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think it has to be that question you ask yourself, especially in the time
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and space that we are now in our world, we have to be very
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clear about what we want, what we really want, and what we really
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really want. And I'm not trying to sing the Spice Girl song from the
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nineties. I can't remember. I'm not going to sing it here. But
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they did have a song called I don't know what it was called, but
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they did say, tell me what you want, what you really really want?
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And I think we need to ask that spice Girl question, what do
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you want? We need to be very clear of that and the reason why
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we need clarity on what we want. Think about it like this, It's
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almost like it's a navigation to where you need to go. If you know
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what you want, you have a clearer path to your goals. So again,
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I listed a whole list of things that I want to accomplish in the
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month of January. But in order to do that, I have to be
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clear about what I want, not just out of the month, but in
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each day. Right I need to be clear about how I go about that,
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and I will be honest with you. There are days of things that
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I have done very well and then there are days where it didn't get done,
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and so it's a constant realignment and recalibration of what needs to be done,
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so I stay on this path of what I want my outcome to be.
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Knowing what you really want also sets you up to show up every day
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on purpose. And that kind of goes back to making sure each day counts
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and each moment hour is meaningful towards the want. And I've had to start
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thinking about it in that way as opposed to just checking things off the list,
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Because if I know what I want, what I want the outcome to
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be, then I can act and behave accordingly, because it's going to be
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our behaviors that show up before we show up right. The behaviors the activity
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that we do helps us to show up authentically and ultimately getting us to that
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place where we can achieve those goals. It also helps me define my why
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why am I doing all of this? I know what I want, I
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know what I really really want, but why do I want that? Why
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do I want that outcome? Right? And I'm going to talk a little
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bit about that. I was reading one of my coaching books, it's called
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The Coaching Habit, and they did a provocative approach to helping understand what's underlying
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under the question what do you want? And finally, again, knowing what
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you want helps you to accomplish your goal. So when I know what I
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want from my month, how do I want January to end? How do
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I want the month to end? If I know how I want the month
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to end, I'll be clearer on that path. The question about what you
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want is by far a very challenging question because when you have to think about
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what you want, even right now, I want you to think about what
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do you really want for twenty twenty four. It's a really big question.
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So let's take it down by the month of January, and then let's take
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it down by the days of the week. Asking yourself what you want is
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a very challenging question, Let's be honest. But now this is you sitting
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in that want, and it's challenging for many reasons. Number one, it
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forces you to be still. It forces you to be still and to be
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searching, to be intentionally looking for and looking forward to the outcome. And
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some of us get so romanticized with the outcome we forget their a processes along
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the way, And so you have to face those processes, those day to
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day things so you can get to that outcome. So it forces you to
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be still and really searched through those day to day things so that you can
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fine tune and get to where you need to get to. The Other thing
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about it is, as I mentioned, it is not a question that we
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are used to asking ourselves. You're not used to asking yourself what do you
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want? So when you're asked or there's something in front of you that is
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not something that is your normal thing. It's not your normal channel of operation,
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it's not your normal line of questioning. It is not the normal path
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that you take. It's a challenge because it's not a comfort. It's not
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something that you are familiar with, and so therefore it is a challenge.
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And finally, one of the reasons why this question what do you want is
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challenging is because so many of us want an answer now. This type of
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question I don't think you can just answer right now. It does require you
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to be still, to search, to search your heart, to search your
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mind, to look at how your day is created and shaped, and all
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of those things to help you better put yourself in position to win, to
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accomplish. As I'm right now staring at my list of things for January,
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I want to put myself in a position to win, and so I know
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I'm not going to have an immediate answer. I know what my goals are,
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but what do I want? Sometimes those aligned right when I think about
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what do I want for my year and my life and my family. There's
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a lot inside of this, and I'm not saying that to make you feel
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overwhelmed. I want us to just faced reality and be upfront with ourselves about
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what is important and why it's important and how we get there and when we
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get there. But it starts with every day, every moment, every intention.
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And I know that sounds so it sounds so specific, and it should
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be specific. If I think about how I've done it, I've generalized so
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much, and so when I want something, it's really this big want without
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it being specific to what is the thing that I am looking for, the
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outcome that I am looking for, And there is an outcome that you are
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looking for, and you have to be ready and willing to sit in that,
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the truth of that, the challenge of that, the opportunity of what
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that is and what it could be for you. This does not have to
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be a bad thing, and it shouldn't be a bad thing, but we
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should be willing to explore it and do what it takes to get there.
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So as as I mentioned, I'm reading a book and this book is called
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The Coaching Habit, And in this book it talks about getting down to the
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underlying layer to the question what do you want? And how oftentimes we answer
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that question of what we want. For example, if we're saying that we
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want to be done with a project, or we're saying that we want we're
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ready to move, we're excited to do something new, the underlying value is
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freedom. Here's another one. There may be a group that you want to
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associate with, or an organization you want to join that could be on your
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list. It could be that you want to have influence in a certain area,
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but you understand that in order to do that you need to join right.
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Your underlying want is participation, and it goes through layers of things like
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that. For example, someone's want may be the underlying layer of affection or
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creation or rec creation I mentioned freedom. Identity is another big area where people
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want right. People also want understanding. I talked about participation. Protection is
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also something people want. So there is a lot of layers underneath these questions
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which help to build our story and our direction for where we need to go
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so we can get to what we want. And I'll share those key layers.
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So as you start answering that question for yourself, what do I want,
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it may in fact be underneath some of those sentiments or words that I
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mentioned earlier, and that is your work this month. Again. I know
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that we are used to just going in in the month of January, getting
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our vision boards and doing all of the things, and those things are good
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practices, good rituals, however you want to call it. But I think
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we need to take a step back. We did that last week when we
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talked about compound and interest on the things that we are doing, the activities
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that over time, right maybe today plus tomorrow, and then you multiply that
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by the number of days and weeks and the months, and then of course
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the year. You have an amazing outcome. You have more of what you
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want and less of the space of that's not what I wanted. When it
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takes those behaviors and activities and it compounding over a period of time to get
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to that desired outcome, and so that was kind of part A. Part
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B now is to be specific about what you want, what you really really
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want, and understand what's underneath that desire, what's underneath that want. Now,
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keeping in mind that when we think about wants, oftentimes people confuse it
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with your needs. Now, your wants are the things you would like to
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happen, the outcomes you would like to have at the end of the month,
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week, year, what have you whereby your needs are the things that
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must occur so that you can be where you need to be. You know,
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you must pay your bills, you must handle these key things so that
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you can continue to live and in some cases thrive. But there are also,
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again on the flip side of that, the wants and the things that
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you would like to happen. There's things that we like to happen, and
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there's things that must happen. And so today we're talking about the things that
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we would like to happen, because I would hope that you're managing the things
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that must happen. So the question again is what do you want, how
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do you want to experience in a big picture view your life, and then
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in your life, your financial life, your religious life, your spiritual life,
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your family life, your friend life. There's so many lives under that
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umbrella of your life. And I know people that create goals based on categories
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and places such as family, fitness, finance. There's a lot of different
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ways you can do this. There's no wrong way to do this. You
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just have to do this. You have to do it for yourself. And
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as I've mentioned on this platform, it's important to create your definition of success.
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It's so important to follow your roadmap to success. And the way you
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follow that roadmap is defining what you want, like really sitting in that and
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I know it's a like I said, it's a challenge, but if we
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want different results, we got to do different things, and sometimes those different
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things feel hard only because we've never done them before. Feelings keep you in
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a fixed mindset. Let's start there, so let's not go with feelings.
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We want to be in a growth mindset, and in order to do that,
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we need to be willing to allow ourselves to be open to this experience
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and ask this very challenging question, which again may seem hard, but it's
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only an opportunity to grow from it if you think of every and anything that
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you've done that has been remotely difficult, challenging. It has forever changed you.
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And I remember one of my coaches saying, one of my run coaches
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saying, what challenges you will change you. So this is a great opportunity
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for change, for transformation, which is what we all want, what you
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want. That transformation is again part of that whole compound interest story that we
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started building last week. And the more we start to allow ourselves to go
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there and have those tough conversations with ourselves, you know, let me just
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say this, this is an example of you managing yourself self management. I
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know we talk about self assessment, we talk about self preservation, but this
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is self management. These are the types of questions that as I'm coaching,
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I'm asking because underneath those questions, as you tinker a bit, you'll get
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to the answer, you'll get to the why. You'll start to create your
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own roadmap or like I said, recalibrate. You know what, I'm not
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going that way again because that way didn't get me to what I wanted.
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That's what this is all about, these conversations, this self management process of
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understanding how you will manage yourself by understanding what you need your tools so that
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you can get on the road your vehicle to your destination. And it's a
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lot of moving parts. But at the center of all that those tools and
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the vehicle to get you there is you. And the question is what do
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you want? I hope you enjoyed this week's episode of the Urine Ritsub podcast.
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And the only way I'm going to know this is if you leave me
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some feedback. Feedback is a gift and it is free to give, and
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I would like to hear from you. I would like to know what resonated
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with you regarding this week's episode. Now here's how you leave feedback on the
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there, leave a five star rating. But in all seriousness, when you
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get there, you can share your feedback on this podcast and that helps us.
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today. Also, you can share this on your socials. You can find
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can find me at my Enriched Self that's M Y E N R C H
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showcase through your friends and families and those in the social streets what you're listening
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to and what's feeding you mind, body and spirit. I also want you
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to check out the show notes. In the show notes, we have the
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affirmation of the Week, the quote of the week, and there you can
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also find my Amazon shop. The R and Rich Self shop has two items
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right now, a journal which is the Show Up Every Day Journal, as
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well as the Show Up Everyday Notebook. So check those out in my Amazon
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shops. And finally, take what you can from this episode and do what
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you must in the next one hundred sixty eight hours so that you can become
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more of your enriched self until we meet again.