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99. Tell Your Story · Your Enriched Self

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  All stories are not created equal. All lives are not created equal. This
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  is not a one size fits all life or process of life. Your life
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  has its own pace, its own pulse, its own purpose. I remember
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  a few years ago I participated in a woman's weekend at my church. It
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  was an opportunity over the course of several weeks before leading up to that particular
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  woman's weekend. It was a chance for us to fellowship, to connect,
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  and to be vulnerable. And that did not come easy for me. You
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  see, I grew up in a household where nothing left the four walls.
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  I was told to be quiet and not to share. It was not for
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  anyone else to know. I learned at a very young age how to be
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  silent, and that was my comforter. I remember going through the experience and
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  it was a very heavy, real raw weekend with maybe about ten or twelve
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  women. Interestingly enough, one of my sisters went through that weekend experience with
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  me, and I remember we shared a moment after the weekend about how powerful
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  it was and how it really got us thinking about some things in our lives.
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  At the time, we were going through our motherhood journey together, which
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  was pretty significant as well. And while we were talking about how powerful the
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  weekend was, my sister summed up the power of that weekend by sharing this
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  with me. She said, if you would think about it, this was
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  probably the first time in your life, and all of the other women's lives
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  that participated in that weekend where they were asked to share their story, that
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  statement would serve as a powerful footnote for how significant it is for us to
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  share our stories. My friends from all across the globe and welcome to the
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  urin Rich Self Podcast. I am your host, Smiley Noir. I am
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  a mindset coach and your mindset advocate and all that means in this world,
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  this very busy place that we call home, in your lives, at work,
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  at play, wherever you go, wherever you may be at this moment
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  right now, there is a lot happening. And so each week I curate
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  a space, a safe space for you to come and we talk through and
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  walk through the things so that you can become more of your in rich self.
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  Because I know, if you're listening to this podcast, you want to
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  be the best version of yourself, and you know that it's going to take
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  an evolution. It's going to take a process, and every process on this
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  journey of life is unique. It's different, it's significant, it's important,
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  and it's all because you are all of that. Yes, you are unique,
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  significant, important, and so your journey, your story is going to
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  serve in that way as well. So welcome. If you are new to
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  this podcast, thank you for being here. You are in the right place
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  because you were brought here on purpose for a purpose. So stay tuned,
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  stick in, and go ahead and just save the podcast because it's going to
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  be good. Trust me. And if you're a repeat listener, we are
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  ninety nine weeks. That's right, people, we are ninety nine weeks running
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  and it is because of you. When I created this podcast, little did
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  I know that I would have people like you serving to create legacy, to
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  be legacy builders, to help us to get to this point of the You're
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  in Rich Self podcasts, You're in Rich Self lifestyle and a commitment to saying
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  yes each and every day to becoming the best version of yourself. So thank
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  you, round of applause to you. Thank you for all that you have
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  done. Continue to share this podcast, and I'm just so grateful for each
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  and every one of you. Now, if you know you know before we
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  get into this week's episode, you know that I make a deposit in the
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  bank of you, and I do so by way of affirmations. Affirmations are
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  a great way to start your day and to command your morning. And this
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  week I want to share notes to self. There are many affirmations, and
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  I will share those notes to self so you can remind yourself of what you
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  need to know about you, so that you can walk out into the world
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  field and not bankrupt, because you don't want to walk out there without enough.
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  And so the first affirmation is you are enough. No one needs to
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  believe in you, but you create your own space. Seek connection, not
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  validation. No amount of attention will be enough unless you validate and love yourself.
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  If they don't see you, they're not for you. You deserve people
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  who uplift you and validate you. Now let's get ready for this week's episode
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  of the Your Enriched Self podcast. This quote was so fitting for this week's
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  episode, tell the story of the mountain you climbed. Your words could become
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  a page in someone else's survival guide. That is so true. I think
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  each and every one of us, each and every one of you has a
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  story, and that story is trapped in your heart, It is locked in
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  your mind, and it has your mouth muzzled. And unfortunately, until you
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  tell that story, you are not able to make change in the world around
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  you. As crazy as that sounds, because your story has trauma, it
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  has drama, it has issues, It has mama, your papa, It
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  has all these elements that make it very difficult for us to even talk about
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  it so casually. But I promise you, just like that quote says,
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  there is something about your story. As insignificant as it may seem to you,
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  it has heavy relevant significance to helping someone else. And I know you
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  see it in your world. You have it in your circle of friends,
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  you have it in your church communities. Even for some of you at work,
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  there are people you can go to who have shared their own intimate accounts,
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  stories that have allowed you to find some light to break the shackles that
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  have kept you locked down and locked into some of your own trauma and drama.
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  There is a story, there is an event that has shaped your life,
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  and that story has forever changed how you see yourself. The crazy thing
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  is some of us, some of you, think that that story is how
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  people see you. But the story is really how you start to now see
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  yourself. And again, it's oftentimes wrapped in some form of trauma. And
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  we know that trauma is life changing. The recovery from trauma is not just
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  dusting yourself off. Now, the world would make you believe that fake it
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  till you make it. You hear that just keep going. You hear that
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  who needs therapy. You might hear that just pray it away. You may
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  hear that now. I do believe in prayer. I do believe that there
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  are multiple layers and multiple legs that support our journey to healing, that support
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  us. And I do believe in therapy. I do believe in Jesus.
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  I do believe in community. There are multiple ways and places that you can
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  go and park that thing. But it's important to have a recovery plan and
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  the hardest part of the recovery is to feel yourself again. But I'm here
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  to remind you that you are powerful and in order to bring that power for
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  it, you have to uncover the inner power, not the things on the
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  outside. We've talked about that before. That inner power is where you are
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  going to hear your voice again, where you're going to see that light again
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  where you're going to break those chains off, and that inner power is going
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  to require you to do something, and that is to tell your story and
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  listen. I've been there. I've done that, not just in the church
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  community example I shared at the top of the podcast, but I've had to
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  do this in other circles becoming a coach. There are parts of my story
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  that I am using to help women who were in the parts of my story.
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  And you're going to find that with many coaches. And I'm not just
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  talking about coaches that are life coaches or coaches that are helping you to build
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  a business. I'm talking about even the coaches that are helping you to build
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  a lifestyle of eating, coaches that are helping you to build your financial freedom
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  pathway. There's so many coaches and people and mentors out there to help you
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  to see that. And the reason why they have a carved out plan a
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  path forward is because they've lived. They've lived through some things, they've seen
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  some things, and you've seen that not just in your own circle, but
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  you've even seen that in entertainment in television with your favorite athletes, etc.
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  Where they themselves walk through some things and have been able to get to the
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  other side, to understand the challenges, to understand the challenges that held them
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  back from fully being themselves, from fully living. And it starts with your
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  story. You have a voice, and your voice, the way you use
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  it, what you say, when you say it. It's directly impacted by
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  your story. How you've lived, what you've experienced, the shoes you've had
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  to walk in. And sometimes those shoes don't fit and it hurts. Okay,
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  I've womped in shoes that are two sizes too small for me and it
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  hurt. And some of those stories are quiet ones that no one even knows
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  about. You haven't even begun to unravel those stories just yet. But your
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  story has influence. It has influence on who you are, what you say,
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  and how you live. Think about the significance of a story, even
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  in a courtroom. In a courtroom, retelling that story, whoever that person
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  might be, has great influence on the outcome of that court ruling. As
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  a parent, I can tell you sharing my story is a way to nect
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  It's a way for me to help my children identify and in life. Telling
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  your story is an opportunity for self repair, to treat that pain that hurt,
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  and to forge your path to freedom. Your story is significant, significant
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  in a way that it can help someone else unlock a locked door. You
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  know, you know that locked door that tells you you are alone. You
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  are doing this alone. There's nobody else dealing with this until you find someone
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  that unlocks that door and tells you a story very similar to yours that reminds
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  you in that moment, not later on, that after you thought about it,
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  but in that moment, that you are not alone. And that's the
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  dangers of holding our stories back and not sharing it and not being in community,
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  because you get to hear yourself retell the lies about what it is that's
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  happening and the lie that's being told oftentimes, and you can validate this right
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  now. That lie is I'm doing this alone, nobody else is going through
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  it, only to learn that there are so many other people on this journey
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  with you. It looks different, it sounds a little different, but in
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  fact, you guys are marching in the same space, and you're not going
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  to know that until you free yourself, you free your mind, your will,
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  and your emotions. Out of this, out of this prison where you're
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  locked in to that story, You're locked in with that trauma, with that
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  drama. I was recently listening to Brenne Brown on Super Soul Sunday, and
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  she has a book called The Atlas of the Heart, and in that book
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  she talks about shame and in that prison cell of trauma with your story is
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  shame. And if you, for a minute were to think about your shame
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  story, I'm not trying to trigger you right now, but I want you
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  to think about that shamed story, just for a moment. And that shame
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  story is likely derived from something someone said to you or something someone did,
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  and unfortunately that thing has now been tattooed in your mind, in your emotions,
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  and has become part of your story, part of your language. Because
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  remember, your stories influence everything that is you. The shape of you is
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  built around and within that story. Now, when you thought about your shame
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  story, because I know I thought about mine, what were some of the
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  feelings that came up for you, I'll name some isolation, feeling trapped,
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  powerless, even what about fear, blame and disconnect. Those are some of
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  the ways that shame, which is within that story, within that trauma can
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  hold you back. We talk about being the best version of yourself and being
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  enriched. There's no way to get to that gift of who you are,
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  because you are a gift. You are enough, and you're not going to
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  know that until you get out of that isolation and that trap and the disconnection
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  of being part of this thing called life and moving with the ebbs and flows
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  and knowing that even in those moments where there was some trauma, you are
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  still enough. The good news, there's always good news, is that you
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  can spring back from shame to strength. You can recover from the difficulty of
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  shame to durability. You can move from behind the walls of resistance to become
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  resilient. And what if I told you that you can move from that powerlessness
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  and that fear and that isolation and disc to a place where there's courage,
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  compassion, and connection. I'm going to give you an acronym to help you
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  with that, and the acronym is to use us and it stands for use
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  your voice. You're going to have to speak up for yourself. You're going
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  to have to clarify and ask people to clarify. Because one of the things
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  I learned in life and in my marriage of twenty two years. By the
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  way, is I had to use my voice. I thought that that whole
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  silence thing that I told you about growing up using silence as my comforter,
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  it didn't serve me in my marriage. I needed my husband to be my
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  comforter. So not using my voice didn't serve me as an individual, and
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  it didn't serve me in this partnership called marriage. So the you is to
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  use your voice, speak your truth. The s is to share your story.
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  Yes, you have a story. You have many stories, and those
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  stories I promise you may not feel good in the moment again, trauma,
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  drama, all of the things, but it will serve as someone else's survival
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  guide. It will free somebody. It will help to unlock some things.
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  So share your story. It is not a significant it is not insignificant.
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  It is more significant than you will ever begin to understand and finally embrace,
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  embrace what the story taught you. Yes, there are lessons. As I've
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  said before, I'll say it again, there are lessons in life, and
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  it comes through experience. You got to go through some things to find out.
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  You're not just gonna find out in isolation. You're not going to find
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  out in comfort. You're gonna go through some things to grow through some things.
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  And when you do that, embrace what that story taught you. It's
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  about reaching out and telling your story. That is how you're going to increase
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  your resilience and begin to create the change in your life. Now, for
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  some of you, telling your story is going to mean creating a journal entry.
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  You're gonna have to put that thing in a place and come back to
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  it. I know I had to do that with an email last week at
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  work. Right, I have a little heat on the email. I had
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  to put it down for a minute and come back to it. Same thing
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  with this right. I don't want you standing in that story. I want
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  you to tell it, walk away from it. But you've got to put
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  that thing down somewhere. And some of you may not be ready to go
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  to therapy. Some of you may not be ready to take it to certain
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  groups of friends and groups that you belong to. And that's okay, but
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  you need a safe split, You need a safe space to put it your
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  voice right now, the shape it's in may not have the strength to carry
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  that story into the world, may not have the strength to share that story
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  to set someone free. That takes time. And that's why I say put
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  it somewhere in a journal entry and walk away from it, because what you
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  need to do is let that story breathe outside of you, because if I
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  know you, that story has owned your breath. That story has served as
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  the emotional armor, you know, the armor that you used to keep people
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  away from you, to be bulletproof, to keep the experiences and the people
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  away from you, and it has kept you in this perpetual cycle of survival
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  mode. If you're surviving, only how are you able to thrive? How
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  are you able to truly be alive in this life? You're not going to
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  be able. You're not going to do that until you celebrate your strengths,
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  celebrate the strength of the story that you now are able to walk through,
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  and take time and finally tell the story, and finally tell a story that
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  is no longer covered in shame. Hope you enjoyed this week's episode of the
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  Urine rid Self podcast, And the only way I'm going to know this is
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  if you leave me some feedback. Feedback is a gift, it's free to
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  give, and here's how you can do it right from the podcast platform in
• 23:42
  which you're listening to this episode is go down and follow the stars, and
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  when you do so, you can leave a rating of five star. Rating
• 23:52
  is appreciated. But we just want to know how we're doing here on the
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  podcast and as you are sharing your story about this podcast, and that allows
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  us, in fact to reach potential podcast listeners. Folks that have like minded
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  thoughts and ideas about becoming more enriched also share the podcast, which your friends
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  and family right from the app in which you're listening to. You just use
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  a share button and share it to the people in your messaging suite, right
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  your text messages. Everybody's down to the social streets, share the podcast in
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  your desired social media platform. I am pretty much everywhere, but Instagram is
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  where I am. Instagram is my gem. You can find me down to
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  the Instagram at my enriched self that's m y E N R h E D
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  self. And go ahead, hashtag the podcast, hashtag this episode telling your
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  story to let the people know where they can find the goodness and where it's
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  a safe space here at the home of the Urine Retail podcast, which is
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  a safe space to in fact tell your story. Check out all the goodies
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  in the show notes. I have the affirmations or the notes to self.
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  In the show notes. You can also find the quote of the week,
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  as well as a link on where you can find me and links to my
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  show Up Now journal. Link is in the show notes. And also for
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  those of us going back to the office, I have a show up Now
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  notebooks so you can show up very much polished, so check that out in
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  the show notes. I believe those are all the announcements this week. I
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  want you to take what you can from this episode and do what you must
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  in the next one hundred and sixty eight hours to become more of your enriched
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  self until we need to again