Latest / Just For Today / 146. Avoid the argument
Transcript
- Cindy Marler: Good morning, listeners. Are you one of those people that likes to argue? Or are you one of those people that avoids arguing at all costs? I'm not gonna say either one is the way to go, but we do tend to be one way or the other. But there's an old principle saying that the only way to get the best of an argument, to win an argument, is to avoid it. Not to hide from it. But to avoid it, how many arguments can you see coming and you avoid it? How many arguments, if you were being honest, have been you've been working in your mind. I can't wait to see that person. I remember what they did. You've been planning this argument in your mind. And maybe you're not going to say it out loud, but you're having it in your head. How can you avoid arguments? I am someone that doesn't shy away from a good old argument. Some might say I'm combative. Some might say I love a good fight. I used to get told I'd make a great attorney, but I don't shy away from a good argument. But the best argument you ever have is the one that you avoid, not hide from, that you see coming and you make a different decision. Don't plan it in your head. Don't have it. I work on this actively. But the best argument is going to be the one that you avoid. But well before the argument takes place. In order to, in order to avoid an argument, you have to avoid all the thinking that led to it. Because usually by the time you got to an argument, like I argued with a lady in a waiting room at a doctor's office, I'm not proud, but I did. And she just kept sitting there and whining and complaining out loud to herself. I'm trying to read my book. I was getting so frustrated. But I, if I were being honest, I was playing in my head what I'd like to say to her. I was like, I would like to tell her I'm reading my book to stop. whining and complaining and just wait with patience. But I was planning that argument in my head first. And then it eventually slipped out. Because when you start planning in your head, it starts working its way down to your mouth. And if you're not a confrontational person by nature, then maybe it's not working itself out down to your mouth, but it's working itself down to your actions. Ever been called passive aggressive? That's what you might call someone who's arguing in their head, but it's not coming out of their mouth. So just for today, we want to be healthy people. And understand that the way to get the best out of an argument is to avoid in a healthy way even having it and learning to live at peace with how things are and with one another and to communicate effectively to avoid it. All right, guys, we do hard things just for today. See you tomorrow.