Shows / Bare Marriage
Bare Marriage
Tired of Christian pat answers about marriage? The podcast that goes in-depth into marriage, parenting, and even sex--to see how we can live the passionate life we were meant for. Paired with Bare Marriage--the blog!
Episodes
Bare MarriageEpisode 286: Our Best Christian Dating Advice--that you've all been asking for!
Send us Fan Mail After a recent social media AMA, we noticed a ton of you wanted us to tackle dating - red flags, green flags, how to choose a great partner…
Bare MarriageEpisode 285: Are Soul Ties Real? Overcoming a Purity Culture Teaching
Send us Fan Mail “Soul ties” refers to the belief that when you have sex with someone, you are now joined in the spiritual realm, and that “tie” impedes your…
Bare MarriageEpisode 284: The Problems with the Book His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley
Send us Fan Mail Let's take a close look at the book His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley! Bethany Jantzi and Ngina Otiende join me to look at some of the…
Bare MarriageEpisode 283: When the Church Stole Your Sex Life
Send us Fan Mail What happens when church doesn’t seem safe? Or when, in retrospect, you realize it wasn’t, even if you threw yourself into it at the time?…
Bare MarriageEpisode 282: What Makes Men Cheat? New Research Spotlight
Send us Fan Mail It's time to walk through some super interesting studies that have recently been published--and see what they say about the intersection of…
Bare MarriageEpisode 281: You Shouldn't Iron Your Cheating Husband's Clothes--Plus We Answer Your Questions!
Send us Fan Mail It's an Ask Me Anything episode! Keith and I open talking about the viral video where a woman claims that she felt called by God to iron her…
Bare MarriageEpisode 280: The Problems with the Book The Love Dare--And How It Papers Over Real Problems
Send us Fan Mail The Love Dare, based on the movie Fireproof, has been a huge best-selling marriage book for two decades. But does it actually contain good…
Bare MarriageEpisode 279: Saving Face: Finding My Self, God, and One Another Outside a Defaced Church (feat. Aimee Byrd)
Send us Fan Mail What if vulnerability and authenticity are vital for true community? And what if we can never truly know God, and each other, until we know…
Bare MarriageEpisode 278: Why Don't Evangelical Women Want to Marry Evangelical Men?
Send us Fan Mail Al Mohler, president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, recently did a podcast bemoaning the fact that young women, unlike young men…
Bare MarriageEpisode 277: Why Emotions Aren't Feminine (and Why Women Aren't More Emotional!)
Send us Fan Mail So many evangelical pastors teach that men are rational while women are emotional. But is this true? And if women are more emotionally mature…
Bare MarriageEpisode 276: Is Reading Romance Novels for Women the Same as Watching Porn?
Send us Fan Mail We know watching porn is wrong--but are romance novels just as bad? We've often heard that comparison made: Sure, guys watch porn, but…
Bare MarriageEpisode 275: Becoming the Pastor's Wife feat. Beth Allison Barr
Send us Fan Mail What if marriage replaced ordination as a woman's path to ministry? What if we've systematically erased the stories of women ministering in…
Bare MarriageEpisode 274: The Marriage You Actually Want
Send us Fan Mail The Marriage You Want is LIVE! Our book launched this week, and in this week's podcast we take a broad, investigative look into the state of…
Bare MarriageEpisode 273: Are Traditionally Christian Marriages Linked to More Immaturity? The Data Speaks!
Send us Fan Mail It's episode 273 of the Bare Marriage podcast! We found that certain beliefs are correlated most with emotional immaturity--passive…
Bare MarriageEpisode 272: Is "Acts of Service" Love Language Really a Cry for Help? All New Bonus Stats!
Send us Fan Mail What if the "acts of service" love language is masking something else--the totally unequal division of labor that many couples have, and Gary…
Bare MarriageEpisode 271: What the Unfairness Threshold Tells Us About Marriage (and Mental Load!)
Send us Fan Mail PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT Pre-Order on Amazon Get other links to Pre-Order Send in your preorder receipt to…
Bare MarriageEpisode 270: What Does Prioritizing Marriage Look Like? Plus Do You Have to Choose Between Being a Good Wife and a Good Mom?
Send us Fan Mail Prioritizing your marriage can be tough. How do we spend enough time together? Do we need more date nights? And MOMS—don’t forget to be a wife…
Bare MarriageEpisode 269: The Marriage Hierarchy of Needs—and Why Compromise Doesn’t Work
Send us Fan Mail Ever tried to find a compromise when you’re having an argument—but even the compromise doesn’t seem fair? In today’s podcast we explain…
Bare MarriageEpisode 268: Why Data Shows That Teamwork, Not Hierarchy, Is the Key to a Great Marriage!
Send us Fan Mail What is the biggest key to a great marriage? Teamwork! Let’s talk about how teamwork is associated with all the good outcomes we want for…
Bare MarriageEpisode 267: Why Evangelical Marriage Advice Often Backfires
Send us Fan Mail In our research looking at marital and sexual satisfaction among evangelicals, we’ve found that over and over again our best-selling books…
Bare MarriageEpisode 266: Demolishing the Love and Respect Dichotomy Definitively (with Data)
Send us Fan Mail The idea that men need respect while women need love has been treated as gospel truth in the evangelical world. Best-sellers have been written…
Bare MarriageEpisode 265: Culture Wars vs. Jesus: How to Not Get Sucked in To Toxic Teachings
Send us Fan Mail So many of us got sucked into believing toxic stuff about marriage and sex in the evangelical church! But unless we figured out WHY we…
Bare MarriageEpisode 264: It’s the Peer Reviewed Celebration! Plus a Plea to Respect Science
Send us Fan Mail Our big announcement: We’re peer-reviewed! Our dataset for The Great Sex Rescue has now appeared in the November 2024 Sociology of Religion…
Bare MarriageEpisode 263: Even After Everything—Loving Anyway, Despite the Risks
Send us Fan Mail Advent is normally a time of hopeful expectation. But what does it mean when our hopes have been dashed in the past? Stephanie Duncan Smith…
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Episode 262: Problems with Marriage on the Rock by Jimmy Evans
Send us Fan Mail Jimmy Evans started XO Marriage over 30 years ago, and his book Marriage on the Rock became a best-seller. He leads marriage conferences…
Bare MarriageEpisode 261: Her Rites: The 6 Rites of Passage in a Woman’s Life feat. Christy Bauman
Send us Fan Mail Ever feel like your body is a stranger to you? Like you’re plagued with insecurity, can’t find peace in your relationships? What if it’s…
Bare MarriageEpisode 260: Shame Must Switch Sides: It’s Not Shameful to NOT Want Pornified Sex
Send us Fan Mail Gisele Pelicot famously said that "shame must switch sides"--and I think that applies to the evangelical church! Over and over again over the…
Bare MarriageEpisode 259: Avoiding Power Struggles with Your Kids (Plus are you an unintentionally permissive parent?)
Send us Fan Mail Do you find yourself in constant power struggles with your kids? Do you feel like your kids too often set the terms of their cooperation? Or…
Bare MarriageEpisode 258: They’re Coming After Bluey Now? What’s Wrong with Involved Fathers?
Send us Fan Mail Why are writers for The Gospel Coalition coming after the dad in the cartoon series Bluey? He’s an involved dad who loves his kids. Why are…
Bare MarriageEpisode 257: Little Girls in Church Parking Lots in BaptistLand
Send us Fan Mail Christa Brown was sexually assaulted dozens of times by her youth pastor when she was 15. She was made to repent and apologize to his wife…
Bare MarriageEpisode 256: How Should You Handle the Sex Talk with Your Kids?
Send us Fan Mail Talking to your kids about sex & puberty is awkward! And over the years the church has made some big mistakes. Today we talk about how to…
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Episode 255: For Our Daughters—Plus Why Sex Abuse Scandals Keep Happening
Send us Fan Mail We aren’t going to fix the abuse crisis in the church until we deal with the underlying beliefs that actually enable abuse. Today Kristin…
Bare MarriageEpisode 254: The 5 Myths of Purity Culture with Dr. Camden Morgante
Send us Fan Mail We know purity culture hurt so many of us. But how do we actually move on and recover from purity culture? Today Dr. Camden Morgante joins us…
Bare MarriageEpisode 253: The 93% Myth: That Stat That Says Fathers Are More Important Than Mothers Is Made Up!
Send us Fan Mail Ever heard the stat from “a recent study” that found that, when a husband comes to Christ first, in 93% of cases the wife and kids follow, but…
Bare MarriageEpisode 252: Flourishing Families
Send us Fan Mail We're all about healthy advice for marriage and sex. But what if evangelical teachings around parenting have also been messed up? And how can…
Bare MarriageEpisode 251: All About Orgasms! Let’s Close the Gap!
Send us Fan Mail The evangelical world has an orgasm gap of 47 points between husbands and wives. Only 48% of women orgasm almost always or always, and 33%…
Bare MarriageEpisode 250: Not All Men—But How Do We Tell?
Send us Fan Mail We know it’s not all men who are predators. But it’s far too many. And a recent horrible court case in France is reminding women all over the…
Bare MarriageEpisode 249: Rebecoming: Figuring Out Why You’re Stuck feat. Dr. Merry Lin
Send us Fan Mail It’s a complete therapy session—in one book and one podcast! Dr. Merry Lin joins us to explain why we so often feel stuck—and how to move…
Bare MarriageEpisode 248: Making Faith More Tangible in the Holy Everyday feat. Karen Stiller
Send us Fan Mail What does it look like to actually grow like Christ? Like, not from a sermon, or not from some lofty retreat, but just in the here and now?…
Bare MarriageEpisode 247: Ask Sheila and Rebecca Anything! We Tackle Your Questions
Send us Fan Mail Sheila and Rebecca are answering your questions today! We covered how to find a new church when you feel like church has let you down; how to…
Bare MarriageEpisode 246: How Toxic Marriage Advice Mirrors Coercive Control
Send us Fan Mail What if you discovered that marriage books like The Excellent Wife actually follows Steve Hassan's BITE model of cult indoctrination? And what…
Bare MarriageEpisode 245: The Problems with The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
Send us Fan Mail The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace sells like hotcakes in biblical counseling/ fundamentalist/ homeschooling circles, and even though it seems…
Bare MarriageEpisode 244: A Well-Trained Wife with Tia Levings
Send us Fan Mail She went to a flagship SBC church. She wasn’t supposed to get sucked into fundamentalism. But Tia ended up being stuck in an abusive marriage…
Bare MarriageEpisode 243: Modesty vs. Vanity: Maybe We Need to Shift the Conversation!
Send us Fan Mail The evangelical church spends a lot of time giving modesty messages to girls. But we hardly ever talk about vanity--even though the Bible…
Bare MarriageEpisode 242: Spot the Propaganda and Logical Fallacies feat. Scott Coley
Send us Fan Mail Ever heard people say, "The Bible is crystal clear" or "if you don't believe that, you don't believe the Bible?" Quite often people equate…
Bare MarriageEpisode 241: Both Hurt and Healed by the Church
Send us Fan Mail What if the church hurt you terribly? Can you still heal? Today Ryan George joins us to talk about how his fundamentalist family covers up his…
Bare MarriageEpisode 240: Breaking Away from Christian Patriarchy (feat. Cait West) plus Why People Deconstruct
Send us Fan Mail What happens when your family gets sucked into fundamentalism, and your father insists on controlling your life, including who you will marry?…
Bare MarriageEpisode 239: Who Are Exvangelicals? feat. Sarah McCammon
Send us Fan Mail People who deconstruct are often accused of never believing in the first place, or of just wanting to sin. But those who deconstruct are often…
Bare MarriageEpisode 238: The Problems with Lies Young Women Believe by Dannah Gresh and Nancy Wolgemuth
Send us Fan Mail Why is a frequenty-used book in teen girls' Bible studies focusing on Satan and not Jesus? A deep dive into the book Lies Young Women Believe…
Bare MarriageEpisode 237: Do We Have to Frame All Dads as Heroes?
Send us Fan Mail Every Father’s Day, there’s a rallying cry in many conservative evangelical spaces that men are losing out and fathers are under attack…
Bare MarriageEpisode 236: The Sex Talk You Never Got with Sam Jolman
Send us Fan Mail What if purity culture didn’t just steal sexual health from women, but stole it from men too? What does it mean for a man to have healthy…
Bare MarriageEpisode 235: Wolves, Chimpanzees, and Deer: Let’s confront the Alpha Male Myth
Send us Fan Mail Evangelical conservatives too often portray masculinity as if men are supposed to be the “Alpha male”—aloof, emotionless, vying for control…
Bare MarriageEpisode 234: Pastors’ Wives Spill the Tea on Church Life—and the search for authenticity and friendship
Send us Fan Mail Church is messy. Friendships are hard to find. Life in a fishbowl is awkward. But what if…it’s worth it? Such a great convo with Stephanie…
Bare MarriageEpisode 233: The Backlash from Those Defending Purity Culture feat. Zachary Wagner
Send us Fan Mail With the release of so many books critiquing purity culture, what has the backlash been like? Well, let’s talk about it with Zachary Wagner…
Bare MarriageEpisode 232: When Submission "Cults" Groom for Abuse: One Woman's Story
Send us Fan Mail We've got such a compelling interview with Lauren Rose from Called to Peace Ministries. She's telling her story--and it's a mesmerizing…
Bare MarriageEpisode 231: Are We Saying that Wives Don't Have to Have Sex?
Send us Fan Mail When we talk about how God made sex to be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both, and how, if women don't want sex, the answer is to…
Bare MarriageEpisode 230: Why Evangelical Honeymoons Go So Badly feat. Jay Stringer
Send us Fan Mail Recently Texas SBC megachurch pastor Josh Howerton told brides that on the wedding night, they should "stand where he wants you to stand, wear…
Bare MarriageEpisode 229: A Victim-Centered Approach to Forgiveness After Trauma
Send us Fan Mail Forgiveness is so often weaponized against victims in the church. But what does the Bible really say about forgiveness, especially when trauma…
Bare MarriageEpisode 228: How Our Stories Influence Our Marriage Choices feat. Natalie Hoffman
Send us Fan Mail Natalie Hoffman joins us today to talk about her INCREDIBLE memoir All the Scary Little Gods. Natalie escaped an abusive marriage, and now…
Bare MarriageEpisode 227: Are We Creating a Strawman out of Complementarianism? We Respond to Critics
Send us Fan Mail So many people resist admitting that they are actually egalitarians, because they think they have to be complementarian--even if they don't…