Shows / Answer Me This!
Answer Me This!
Award-winning comedy podcast answering the world's questions since 2007. Hosted by Helen Zaltzman and Olly Mann, with Martin Zaltz Austwick. Support the show at https://patreon.com/answermethis
Episodes
Answer Me This!AMT276: Pound Shops, Movember and Facts About Birmingham - 24 October 2013
As Halloween approaches, in Answer Me This! Episode 276 we wonder how it is that in films, adorable little girls become UTTERLY TERRIFYING. We also wonder…
Answer Me This!AMT275: The Colosseum, the British Museum and Helen Daniels's Paintings - 17 October 2013
Hello listeners, In writing this post, we've learnt that the paintings of Helen Daniels are SO dreadful, even Google Images refuses to index many of them…
Answer Me This!AMT274: Bourbon Biscuits, Scandal and Pat Sharp's Fun House - 10 October 2013
Why even bother listening to Answer Me This! Episode 274 when you can book PAT SHARP AND THE TWINS to come and do Fun House with you???? Once the…
Answer Me This!AMT273: Planet Names, Michelin Guides and Rap Battles - 3 October 2013
While we reel from the 'IT'S OCTOBER ALREADY, HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?' feeling, get stuck into Answer Me This! Episode 273, containing such subjects as…
Answer Me This!AMT272: Brie vs Camembert, Typical Aliens, and Bounty Bars - 19 September 2013
Hello listeners, Today's questioneer Beth has chosen the AMT Holiday album to be the soundtrack to her child's birth. If you have ever given birth whilst…
Answer Me This!AMT271: Elvis Lives (or doesn't), Cupcake Wars and the Parliamentary Mace - 12 September 2013
Today we learn why all those people believe Elvis to be alive, whereas they don't feign such confidence over the likes of, say, Janis Joplin, Robert Johnson…
Answer Me This!AMT270: Ostrich Eggs, Gorilla Balls and Zombies - 5 September 2013
At the time of recording Answer Me This! Episode 270 dicksmack.org*, the domain name bandied around in last week's episode, was still available. But within…
Answer Me This!AMT269: Troll Dolls, Murder Houses and Cats' Bums - 29 August 2013
Hello listeners, Trolls have been in the news a lot lately - the online tormentor kind, but not the toys that used to be so popular. Why is that? Did people…
Answer Me This!AMT268: Noah's Ark, Glacé Cherries and Barry Scott - 22 August 2013
Hello listeners, Although August is coming to a close, and with it the Edinburgh Fringe, there's still just enough time to incorporate our grade-A publicity…
Answer Me This!AMT267: Spiders, Father's Day and Virginity - 15 August 2013
Good morning, you lazy bastards! One listener called Martin has been up and at 'em since earlytimes, because before this post even went up, he tweeted us with…
Answer Me This!AMT266: The Queen's Gynaecologist, Backyard Burials, and Boob Jobs - 8 August 2013
Good day, listeners, In the words of Neely O'Hara, Answer Me This! Episode 266 is all 'Boobies boobies boobies': fake ones, milky ones, Kelly Brook's ones…
Answer Me This!AMT265: Amazon, Straitjackets and Chips with Gravy - 1 August 2013
Hello listeners, If, like today's questioneer Paul, you want to allow a cool breeze to circulate around your nethers, but without the hazard of being charged…
Answer Me This!AMT264: Skee-Lo, Dead Dogs and Picnics - 25 July 2013
Hello listeners, Today, in Answer Me This! Episode 264, we pretend to remember the most beloved 20th century canine entertainer. No, not Lassie! No, not Rin…
Answer Me This!AMT263: Steampunks, le Tour de France, and ROYAL BABY MADNESS - 18 July 2013
Ugh. THIS SHIT. ROYAL BABY! ROYAL BABY! ROYAL BABY! #ROYALBABY! However, at the time of posting, the creature hasn't actually been born, so try to keep a lid…
Answer Me This!AMT262: Ice Cream Vans, Baseball Caps and the Wrath of the Hoff - 11 July 2013
Hello listeners! We hope you have survived our three-week absence. If not, it'll be no use to you to know that Answer Me This! Episode 262 is ready for your…
Answer Me This!AMT261: Iced Coffee, Wimbledon and the Stoicism of Sheep - 13 June 2013
Hello listeners, This week, we learn a few very important lessons about sheep: not to underestimate them intellectually and emotionally; what they have in…
Answer Me This!AMT260: Helium, Red Bull and Dressing to the Left - 6 June 2013
Hello chums, This week, listener Melvyn from Israel got in touch to ask whether we have a system for identifying AMT episodes which are suitable for his…
Answer Me This!AMT259: Coke Bottles, Gentlemen's Clubs and Desert Island Luxuries - 30 May 2013
Hi listeners, Today we discuss the world's greatest audio format apart from this one: Desert Island Discs. What would your luxury be? (If you're a cheating…
Answer Me This!AMT258: Plant-Murder, Presents for Presidents, and Dumbo - 23 May 2013
Hello listeners, Sound the sirens - today, in Answer Me This! Episode 258, we address a VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION. One of those questions that completely…
Answer Me This!AMT257: Google Doodles, Polling Stations and Magpies - 16 May 2013
Hello listeners! We have wonderful news for you this week: you can have a free month's subscription to LoveFilm, whereby you can gorge yourself on unlimited…
- Answer Me This!
AMT256: Sea Lions, Hot Tubs and Dead Ducks - 9 May 2013
Hello listeners, We know some of you like to listen to the podcast with your little children, so just to warn you, Answer Me This! Episode 256 contains some…
Answer Me This!AMT255: Volvos, Bangs and the end of JLS - 2 May 2013
Hello listeners, We really hope you didn't first hear the sad news about JLS on Answer Me This! Episode 255. If you did, please accept our condolences at this…
Answer Me This!AMT254: Space Food, Artex and Goat Lungs - 25 April 2013
EPISODE 254 - wretched ballsport Good morning! In Answer Me This! Episode 254, we consider whether it's acceptable to share creamy substances with your partner…
Answer Me This!AMT253: Refreshers, Dead Rats and Giving People Wood - 18 April 2013
EPISODE 253 - giving people wood Hi listeners, Would you believe it, someone wishes to own this monstrous creature (pictured) SO MUCH that it has caused a rift…
Answer Me This!AMT252 with special guest Isy Suttie - 11 April 2013
EPISODE 252 - the Northern version of crop circles Happy Special Guest Episode day, listeners! For today, in Answer Me This! Episode 252, we are delighted to…
Answer Me This!AMT251: Wikipedia, Morning Sickness and Arsenic in the Walls - 4 April 2013
EPISODE 251 - you never see All Saints putting up a wall, ever Good day, listeners, Does a place make a man, or in this case a Mann? If today's questioneer…
Answer Me This!AMT250: Pizza Delivery, Fluffy Dice and the Pope's Sauna - 28 March 2013
EPISODE 250 - provincial or Provençal? Greetings, podlings! Spring has yet to spring in our homeland, but the spring run of AMT is ready to spring into your…
Answer Me This!AMT249: The Fugitive, Umbrellas and Sweet and Sour Pork Balls - 7 March 2013
EPISODE 249 - a long line of sadists Hello listeners, and goodbye as we will be off for the next two Thursdays. That's just enough time for you to listen to a…
Answer Me This!AMT248: Google Glass, Flu Camp and London, Ontario - 27 February 2013
EPISODE 248 - babies don't hatch out of eggs "Hey there everybody! We've all got bums, haven't we? So what's it to be: scrunch or fold? SCRUNCH OR FOLD???" NO…
Answer Me This!AMT247: Corgis, Armageddon and Bedroom Antics - 21 February 2013
EPISODE 247 - farcically flaccid What a surprise the publishers of our book decided not to use this picture! Granted, their usual style of authorial portrait…
Answer Me This!AMT246: Les Miserables Obsessions, Fortune-Teller Fish and Tongues - 14 February 2013
Happy Valentine's Day, listeners! We know how you love to celebrate the feast day of the patron saint of plague, epilepsy and bee-keeping, so we've got a…
Answer Me This!AMT245: Smells, Bouquets and Annie Lennox - 7 February 2013
EPISODE 245 - space chutney Hello listeners, What are the smells that trigger certain feelings or memories for you? Does the scent of a rose transport you back…
Answer Me This!AMT244: Gherkins, Stolen Potatoes and Simon versus Garfunkel - 31 January 2013
EPISODE 244 - waterboarded by Usher Hey, you! Yes, you - the man with the insecurity about your penis size! How would you like a new app that tells you how…
Answer Me This!AMT243: Bow Ties, Monopoly and Onesies - 24 January 2013
EPISODE 243 - romper suit with a bow tie Good morning listeners, Today, we set you some coursework. We need you to conduct practical experiments into…
Answer Me This!AMT242: Baby Photos, Diners and Fairground Goldfish - 16 January 2013
EPISODE 242 - pigeons would be excited by pooing on Tom Cruise ...because pigeons do love to poo. And they get extra points for pooing on Jerry Maguire. Sorry…
Answer Me This!AMT241: Grand Designs, Conception and Jools Holland - 9 January 2013
EPISODE 241 - biological bidet Happy new year, listeners! Behold the first podcast of 2013, Answer Me This! Episode 241. Today we talk of: Paul Merton manatee…
Answer Me This!AMT240: Doughnuts, Bookshops, and Andy Warhol's Wig - 6 December 2012
EPISODE 240 - shampea Brace yourselves, listeners: in Answer Me This! Episode 240, those two titans of the Northern Hemisphere, Russia and Canada, face off for…
Answer Me This!AMT239: Skydiving, Australian Christmas, and Spying on your Kids - 29 November 2012
EPISODE 239 - Reich Krispies Hi listeners, So that unfeasibly rich child from Two and a Half Men says you should not watch Two and a Half Men because it is…
Answer Me This!AMT238: Childbirth, TGI Friday's and Chico Time - 22 November 2012
EPISODE 238 - sweet and sour milk Happy Thanksgiving, American chums! While you bust a gut on deep-fried turkey and marshmallow-topped yams, perverts that you…
Answer Me This!AMT237: Milkshake, Twix and Cousin Sex - 15 November 2012
EPISODE 237 - Masters in pig sex Dear listeners, Apologies in advance. Today we discuss pig sex twice and it's not even the worst kind of sex to be mentioned…
Answer Me This!AMT236: Wet Bars, Flamenco and 1650-Year-Old Wine - 8 November 2012
EPISODE 236 - like Jurassic Park, but with Romans Rub-a-dub-dub, two nuns in a tub - but what the blazes are they getting up to in there? Find out in Answer Me…
Answer Me This!AMT235: James Bond's Martinis, Horse Fluffers and Appendectomies in Antarctica - 1 November 2012
EPISODE 235 - good British pizza YES. There are still a few days left till the polls, so America, put all your support behind one AMTfan's campaign to get…
Answer Me This!AMT234: Citizen Kane, the Rolling Stones' Hair, and Hercule Poirot's Pants - 25 October 2012
EPISODE 234 - greasy drips Hello listeners, With just days to go until Hallowe'en, many of you have been writing to ask what costume you should opt for. Here's…
Answer Me This!AMT233: Divas, the Industrial Revolution, and Sporks - 18 October 2012
EPISODE 233 - the birthplace of the Industrial Revolution We have so much for which to thank the Industrial Revolution. Without it, there would be no devices…
Answer Me This!AMT232: Personal Massagers, Maths Cheats and Hotel Bathrooms - 11 October 2012
EPISODE 232 - all sorts of vagina shapes Hello! Holed up in the Holiday Inn in Salford Quays, we contemplated holding a Bed-In for Peace. But then we realised…
Answer Me This!AMT231: Pringles, Baby Showers and Special K - 4 October 2012
EPISODE 231 - I know your secret Hello listeners, What we learn this week is that you people are not very good at sharing. Sharing milk. Sharing beds. Sharing…
Answer Me This!AMT230: Court Artists, One Direction, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt - 27 September 2012
EPISODE 230 - like a Muppet Babies version of the Rolling Stones Hello listeners, It's odd that in his ode 'To Autumn', Keats never mentioned amongst the…
Answer Me This!AMT229: The Tooth Fairy, Tom and Jerry, and Digestive Biscuits - 20 September 2012
EPISODE 229 - the Pubes Fairy Hello listeners! Refreshed by a month off, we return with an episode bursting with fresh new questions. Well, fresh except for…
Answer Me This!AMT228: Bryan Adams, Bizarre B&Bs and Angela Lansbury - 16 August 2012
EPISODE 228 - how many nutcrackers does one man need? The time has come, dear listeners, for us to pack up our microphones for a month and head off on holiday…
Answer Me This!AMT227: Vatican Olympians, Carbonara and Zooey Deschanel - 9 August 2012
EPISODE 227 - McSlurry Hey listeners, Of course we love hearing about your lives; also when you send us stuff. But this may have gone too far in Answer Me…
Answer Me This!AMT226: Captain Hook, Pyrotechnics and the Return of Gordon Ramsay - 2 August 2012
EPISODE 226 - the sentimental stain Guys. Why are you bothering with the London Olympics, when you need to preserve your energy for the year's most important…
Answer Me This!AMT225: Timbuktu, Danny Boyle, and the Phantom of the Opera - 26 July 2012
EPISODE 225 - Let the camel see the canoe When you woke up this morning, listeners, did you realise this would be the day that Olly revealed how he is in…
Answer Me This!AMT224: Caffeine, Kissing and the Women's Institute - 19 July 2012
EPISODE 224 - Socks for Seamen Hello listeners, This week, we hint at the reason behind one of the most pressing mysteries of the 1990s. Not what happened to…
Answer Me This!AMT223: Cain and Abel, Curry Houses, and that bitch Tinkerbell - 12 July 2012
EPISODE 223 - Adele is the new Def Leppard Happy wedding anniversary, Henry VIII! Verily on this day in 1543, he married Catherine Parr, and as they say, sixth…
Answer Me This!AMT222: Brighton, Battersea Power Station, and Fudge - 5 July 2012
EPISODE 222 - crabs' eyes OK listeners, lots of admin to get through this morning, so pay attention: 1. We have a new album out! Click here to learn more…
Answer Me This!AMT221: The Owl and the Pussycat, Bridesmaids and Pole Dancing - 28 June 2012
EPISODE 221 - the money shot Hello listeners, We're as surprised as you to discover that Answer Me This! Episode 221 opens with a heated discussion upon the…
Answer Me This!AMT220: Spin the Bottle, Salad and the Electric Chair - 21 June 2012
EPISODE 220 - I'm with the Tithead party As AMT devotees, you know that we don't shy away from the most serious questions the human mind can concoct. Remember…
Answer Me This!AMT219: Bomb Shelters, Ceefax, and Saucy Playing Cards - 14 June 2012
EPISODE 219 - Sky Atlantis Hi listeners! We're picking up good vibrations (good, good, good, good vibrations, oooh bop bop, good vibrations) in Answer Me This!…
Answer Me This!AMT218: Teletubbies, Embarrassing Bodies and Fifty Shades of Grey - 7 June 2012
EPISODE 218 - shipshape and Bristol fashion Hi listeners, There are a lot of really weird stories in the news at the moment - cannibals, dismembered bodies…
Answer Me This!AMT217: Sunburn, Chinos and Singin' In the Milk - 31 May 2012
EPISODE 217 - you don't see Batman with sunburn Hello listeners, This week, we face a big, big question: should Singin' In The Rain be BANNED, for flouting the…