Shows / Untoxicated Podcast
Untoxicated Podcast
Sheri and Matt Salis just wanted a regular life–regular marriage, regular careers, a regular house, and happy kids. Instead, they lived a life of lies and terror as they struggled with Matt’s alcoholism and emotional abuse. Unfortunately, their experience is quite regular. Sheri and Matt talk to other experts, to roundtable panels, and to each other. No subjects are off limits: The trauma of active addiction, the pain of recovery, the impact of emotional abuse, the “should I stay or should I…
Episodes
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep74 – Arrogance to Sobbing Puddle: The Attraction of the HFA
Everyone knows childhood trauma or major tragedy often leads to alcoholism. But that was not part of Matt's story. Matt's dependence on external validation…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep73 – Running into the Solution with Amber Graziano
She was an award winning and highly recruited high school athlete. She received a full-ride division one scholarship to Baylor University for her skills on the…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep72 – Another Day Closer to Forever with Dana and Frank
Sheri and Matt welcome Dana and Frank to the pocast. This is the first time they have interviewed a couple working to recover their marriage. Frank has over a…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep71 – What Goes Down Must Come Up
The progression into alcoholism is always the same. Sure, some of the details are different, and the ultimate rock-bottom destination - The Pit, as Matt likes…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep70 – Barbara’s Recovery from Sacrificing Herself
Doctor's take an oath to do no harm. When the surgeons operated on Barbara, she was an exception. They knew they risked harming her. Barbara knew it, too, but…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep69 – Should I Stay or Should I Go?
This is the question we hear most often from our listeners, so on this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss how she processed this painful decision in their…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep68 – Can Anyone Hear Me? Communication Challenges in Sheri’s Recovery
Family communication is fraught with pitfalls whether alcoholism is a factor or not. But with sobriety, we can make progress in our discovery. In this episode…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep67 – Saved by Sobriety: The House Fire Cheryl Survived
Have you ever cheated death? Have you ever had too much to drink, and put yourself in a dangerous situation? Have you ever passed out unable to protect…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep66 – Be the Hero and Save Yourself
Low self esteem, insecurity and negative self talk - these issues plague so many of us, and they are particularly detrimental to people who love alcoholics and…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep65 – Karen Explains that You can have a Life on the Other Side
Karen's life did not go as planned. She married the man she loved, and they had four kids together. So far, so good. But when the progression of her husband's…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep64 – soberevolution: Who Should Read this Book?
Our book, soberevolution: Evolve into Sobriety and Recover Your Alcoholic Marriage, isn't for everybody. It is for high-functioning alcoholics who are…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep63 – The Holiday Season: Tinsel & Candy Cane Covered Trauma
It's a Wonderful Life or White Christmas - who has experienced a holiday season that lives up to those perfect pictures of love, family and humanity? Norman…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep62 – You’ve Done Nothing Wrong. Why are you So Ashamed?
The shame of alcoholism is not reserved only for the drinkers. The loved ones of drinkers feel an enormous amount of shame - for letting it get so bad and for…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep61 – Traci on Healing Her Broken Heart
The anger and resentment from her husband's drinking was building inside our friend, Traci. If he kept drinking, she faced a selfless and dreadful decision. "I…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep60 – Why are we still so angry?
If you've ever looked for the root cause of your anger, you've probably read or heard that anger is the outward manifestation of fear. There's wisdom there…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep58 – Neither of You are to Blame
Alcoholism is so insidious because of how it creeps into relationships and destroys us from the inside. When did my husband turn from a sweet, loving man into…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep57 – Kate Flourishing in the Truth
Sheri and Matt are joined on this episode by a fellow survivor of an alcoholic marriage, their good friend and Denver neighbor, Kate. Just like Sheri, Kate…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep56 – Our Wedding: Making the Trauma Typical
Sheri and Matt tell the story of the trauma of their wedding. Devastating and heartbreaking? Yes. Unusual? Sadly, no. It was such a shameful event that this is…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep55 – The 2 Keys to Ending the Alcoholism Epidemic
Being a part of the alcoholism recovery community is all about putting out fires that are already started. That's important, but that's not what this…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep54 – Jane’s Pain and Anger from Being In It
If you've listened to the Untoxicated Podcast before, you know Sheri's and Matt's story is not unique, because you are probably in the middle of a similar…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep53 – Inspiration from Matt’s Mediocrity
Listeners and readers often share that they can't imagine their alcoholic spouses reaching the level of clarity that Matt and Sheri share on this podcast. Matt…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep52 – A Message for Your Alcoholic Partner
As an active alcoholic, Matt thought all of his attempts to control his drinking, his pontifications about how it would be different this time, and his…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep51 – How Sheri’s Cold Detachment Contributed to Matt’s Sobriety
After a decade of developing disdain for her alcoholic husband, the disease transformed Sheri into a bit of bitch. And now, looking back, no one is happier…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep50 – The Raw, Naked Truth about Socializing Sober
Socializing sober is not just a challenge for alcoholics in recovery. Everyone impacted by this disease has to find a groove in a society that depends on…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep49 – Getting from Here to the Relationship You Want
Sobriety doesn't fix anything, but it is a prerequisite for recovery from an alcoholic marriage. Once we realize we have removed alcohol, and our relationship…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep48 – Fairytale: When Relationship Recovery Feels Out of Reach
We asked a group of loved ones of alcoholics to read a chapter of our book, soberevolution, that will be released on September 23rd. The chapter is titled…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep47 – The Emotional Volatility of Living with Alcoholism
We talk a lot of the trauma and pain of living with an alcoholic, but we rarely share the details. In this episode, Sheri and Matt talk about the emotional…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep46 – Impact: Here’s Why You’re Not a Failure
Recovery is not a binary choice. You are not a success if you are sober, and a failure if you relapse. The same is true for the loved ones of alcoholics…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep45 – The Revealing Truth of Sobriety
I thought I was so funny, cute, smart and charming when I was drinking. Little did I know, I was just a loud and boorish bloviator of intoxicated rambling. Now…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep44 – You Drank Yourself Silly: The Brain Chemistry of Alcoholism
If you are the loved one of an alcoholic, it is easy to blame poor lifestyle choices and lack of willpower for the jam your abusive drinker has gotten the both…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep43 – Relationship Recovery Dry Relapse
A dry drunk is a label associated with someone who white-knuckles his way through sobriety. A dry drunk might not be drinking alcohol, but he is not learning…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep42 – The Alcohol is Gone, But the Asshole Lingers
One of the most common concerns Sheri and Matt hear from the loved ones of alcoholics is, "He's a drunk asshole now, but what if he sobers up, and he's still…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep41 – Parenting Sober: Journey into the Unknown
Sheri and Matt had drastically different exposures to alcohol when we were growing up, and we carried that experience into our parenting roles. Our kids were…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep40 – Friendships Lost in Recovery
Sheri and Matt are big believers in the power of vulnerability, and the huge gains in enlightenment and healing we have made as a result of recovering out…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep39 – Instinct Over Insecurity: When Pushing It Down Stops Working
Sheri and Matt talk about the evolving process of learning to trust instincts. The greatest challenge to listening to what she knows to be true are the…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep38 – It Turns Out My Wife’s Not a Bitch
I had a huge ego as an active alcoholic. I thought I was great. My wife, Sheri, found me repulsive and stupid, and she felt betrayed by my love of alcohol…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep37 – It’s Sheri’s Turn: A Sense of Recovery Urgency
Active alcoholism is selfish, but everyone knows that. Early sobriety is equally selfish, but this time, for a good reason. For Matt and Sheri, our…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep36 – Sheri’s Lingering Fears from the Trauma of Alcoholism
Three years into recovery from Matt's alcoholism, fearful anticipation lingers for Sheri. In this episode, we discuss the worry and anxiety that Sheri feels…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep35 – Echoes of Recovery: Healing for the Loved Ones of Alcoholics
One of the most widely accepted misperceptions about alcohol addiction is that the drinkers are the only people facing enormous challenges in recovery. The…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep34 – Pandemic Policy Fuels Epic Liquor Store Lines
On our first remotely recorded episode due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Matt and Debbie Scheer discuss the public policy decision that threw Denver into chaos…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep33 – Quarantine and Isolation – Alcohol will Only Make it Worse
While the COVID-19 pandemic is nothing like the terrorist attack on America we suffered during 9/11, it does isolate and confine us in a similar way. Back…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep32 – Sex Miseducation: The Lasting Impact
Was your middle school sex ed experience as shrouded in shameful secrecy and as incomplete as ours? In this episode, Matt and Debbie talk about the lasting…
- Untoxicated Podcast
EP31 – The Destruction of Intimacy in our Alcoholic Marriage
Sheri and Matt dive deeper than ever before into the intimate details of our alcoholic marriage. Our relationship started in a very typical manner - we mixed…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep30 – Humor is the Ultimate Icebreaker with Debbie Scheer
The damage done by alcohol is no laughing matter, but if we lighten up and loosen up, honest, healing conversation often follows. No one knows more about using…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep29 – Doritos Made Me an Alcoholic: The Why, the How and the Stigma of Alcoholism
To blame my alcoholism on Doritos is a bold statement, but the more we learn about neurochemistry and the way our brains process inputs, the more obvious the…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep28 – Bar Zero: Great Food, Exotic Drinks, Fun People with No Alcohol
Emily Schrader has always been a risk taker. Drinking alcohol and doing drugs was a natural fit for a woman living life on the edge. Now, with 15 years of…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep27 – Accomplishment Black Hole
I'm supposed to feel rested coming off the holidays, right? So why do I feel so bad - worthless and sinking? Some people drink to avoid processing trauma…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep26 – Surviving the Holidays Sober
This is our third consecutive sober holiday season, and it is monumentally better for both my wife and me. In this episode, Sheri and I discuss the differences…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep25 – My Alcoholism is Not a Spiritual Problem
In this episode, I share a speech I gave to a community of people recovering from alcoholism through the twelve steps. It was not an Alcoholics Anonymous…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep24 – When Alcohol Stops Working with Jolene Park
Jolene Park and her friends were like the cast of Sex in the City with their nights on the town and affinity for classy wines while complaining about their…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep23 – Healthy Delay: The Pace of Recovery for an Alcoholic Spouse
When I was trying to gain my permanent sobriety, I needed my wife's support more than ever. I thought her cautions attitude and reserved enthusiasm was selfish…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep22 – Gray Area Drinking with Christy Wynne
Christy Wynne didn't have a spectacular, catastrophic, up-in-flames relationship with alcohol. Sure, she partied for many years, but she decided to leave the…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep21 – Sheri’s Social Drinking: Alcohol Remains Toxic to Our Marriage
The damage done to our marriage by my active alcoholism was massive. We are still trying to deal with the resentment, and repair trust and our intimate…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep20 – Alcoholism is More Prolific than Cancer, and We Are the Cure
Almost 15 million Americans have cancer, but there are more than 15 million American alcoholics. Addiction to alcoholism touches all of our lives. In this…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep19 – Fearless Teen Drinking: Make Alcohol a Choice
Listen to this speech I wrote for the students at a large, racially and economically diverse high school after they experienced a series of brazen and…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep18 – Getting Our Marriage Unstuck with Jason & Lana
Sheri and I are stuck. We have made tremendous progress in the recovery of our relationship, now in the third year of my sobriety, but resentments from the…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep17 – Sheri’s Story, Part 2: Recovering Our Marriage
In part two of a three part series about how Matt's alcoholism has damaged our marriage, Sheri talks about the process of recovering our marriage from the…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep16 – SHOUT Sobriety Week 6
God has an important place in my life. He always has. I am a very spiritual person, and I pray constantly both now and back when I was in active alcoholism…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep15 – SHOUT Sobriety Week 5
Relationships are so important to our happiness and our success in early sobriety. Taking alcohol out of our relationships actually does not fix the problems…
- Untoxicated Podcast
Ep14 – SHOUT Sobriety Week 4
The disease of alcoholism has many victims. The spouses and children of an alcoholic are victims. The parents and friends of an alcoholic are victims, too. The…