Latest / Groove with Portia / Her Sister Was Killed. She Chose to Heal Out Loud.

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Her Sister Was Killed. She Chose to Heal Out Loud. · Groove with Portia

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Group Porsche, the podcast that uncovers the hidden
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: treasures within grief. I'm your host, Porsche the Producer, and
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: I'm inviting you to join me on a transformative journey
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: where we were exchange laughter, of course the best medicine
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: of them all, reflect on cherish memories, Remember that time
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: that the little boy grabbed my hand instead of his
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: mother's at the amusement park yikes, And of course discover
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: gratitude while navigating one of life's hardest challenges lost. So
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: get ready to grow with me, Porsche the Producer, let's
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: dive in. Hello everybody, and welcome back to Grow with Porsche.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: I am your host, Porsche Booker, and as always, please
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: don't forget to like, share and subscribe to keep it
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: with the latest and greatest of all Withdrew with Porshe.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: So today, everybody, I have the honor of being joined
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: by Lisa Counsel and Lisa is the host of the
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: podcast Shift, which stands for self Healing Ignites Flourishing Transformation.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Let me say that again, self healing ignites flourishing transformations.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: And I have Lisa on today because let's be realistic.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: After thirty two years her grief journey has taken a
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: new trajectory. Her sister, her dear sister, Linda, experienced domestic
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: violence and that ended her life. And today Lisa's going
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: to share with us how she's been able to really
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: channel her grief and create a movement in the honor
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: of Linda and help other women today through that journey
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: of domestic violence. So, Lisa, welcome to Girul. Porscha, how
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: are you today?
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Wonderful? I am honored and blessed to be here. Just
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: thank you so much for extending the invitation, and I'm
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: super excited.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: Porscha, excellent, Lisa.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: One of the things I always love to do is
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: start off my conversations with gratitude. What are you grateful
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: for today?
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: So great? Today? I am grateful for life, for another
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: day to right my wrongs and.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: To grow and live in purpose. That's what I'm grateful
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: for on today.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: You know I feel it. I mean because sometimes, as
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: I brought up, when we experience the loss of our person,
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: and for you, it's been thirty two years since your sister, Linda,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: her transition happened. And I'm curious, Lisa, as we're coming
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: up on this thirty second anniversary of Linda's transition. What
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: has been the trajectory of your grief journey over these
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: last thirty two years, and that's her anniversary returns. Do
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: you notice a shift, no pun intended, in how you
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: on her legacy and also how you grieve on the day.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: I would describe my grief journey as a merry go round,
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: just going around in circles. Of course, when I first
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: lost my sister to domestic violence, who was brutally murdered
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: by her husband, of course, like anyone else going through
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: the grief journey, it was complete shock and then there
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: was denial. You know, I went through survivor's guilt, as
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: I still go through from time to time. But I
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: also noticed that for many years, I would say for
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: about up to twenty years, I always gave myself permission
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: to be angry, to be sad as we were coming
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: up on that time. You know, you have to he's sad, Lisa,
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: because we're coming up on that time and your sister
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: is in here, Lender's no longer here.
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: So I would say maybe weeks leading up to her.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: You know, the the the anniversary which I don't like
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: to call it, but the anniversary of her death, I
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: would say I would immediately starting to become sad. I
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: did not want to be around friends and loved ones.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: There was times when I would lock myself in a
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: dock room. In about ten years ago, when I started
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: on my journey to healing in you know, I started
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: getting canceling and just being more intentional about wanting to
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: do something different, you know, and saying to myself, Lisa,
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: you don't have to stay in this place. You don't
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: have to feel the way that everyone else felt. Because
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: one of the things I dealt with was being guilty
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: because I knew that my parents would be sad. I
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: knew that other families would be you know, would be
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: sad or dealing with their Greece and such, and I
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: always wanted to do what I thought would make them happy,
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: and sometimes that meant being on a pity party with them.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: But about ten years ago, Porsche, I started on my
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: journey towards healing, and instead of me giving myself permission
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: to say, oh, we're just going to be sad and
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: we're just going to make ourselves feel like the world
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: is coming to and then today I gave myself permission
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: to say, I want to honor my sister differently. I
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: want to remember her beauty. I want to remember her strength.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: I want to remember the way when she walked in
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: the room and she just left a elasting impression on others.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: I want to just remember her for the beautiful person
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: that she was.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: And still is to me.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: So I started my own nonprofit organization. Well, leading up
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: to that, I started a pardcast, and I started honoring
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: Linda in that way and just trying to give other
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: people's you know, light and hope and inspiration and encouragement
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: while also trying to encourage myself. And from there that
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: journey was leading into a transformation and the shift for
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: me as well. And now what I do, Porsche is
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: I give myself permission to just celebrate Linda, honor the
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: things that she loved. I always wear butterflies. She loved butterflies.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: I love pearls. She loved pearls. Her favorite color was peak.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: And instead of I just had to do something different.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: The beating myself up and giving myself permission to just
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: be in a dark space was not working for me anymore.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: Now that doesn't mean that I don't have those days
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: when I may be in a dark place or space,
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: but I'm able to lift myself back up out of
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: that dark space in that place and just give myself
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: missing to celebrate her life. And you know, and that
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: might be through laughter when I'm thinking about something we
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: did in our childhood, and it just may be through
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: wearing a butterfly.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: Every day.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: People always say why do you wear butterflies? And I
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: explain to them why. It's not that I necessarily love butterflies,
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: but I do it to honor, you know, my sister,
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: and just putting myself and lifting myself up and giving
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: myself permission to be in a different frame of.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Mind at Lisa, I love, first of all, thank you
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: for being so number and honest about that feeling of anger, right,
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: that's survivor's guilt, right, feeling as though you have to
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: be the strong one wearing the strong woman k because
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: I think, let's be realistic. In the African American community,
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: as black women, there's this hidden expectation that you have
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: to hold all the weight on your shoulders of the
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: family's burdens.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: Absolutely absolutely, also in the in the you know, in
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: the African American families, we don't give ourselves permission to.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: Be open to something different. This is the way that.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: We're supposed to feel, This is the way that we're
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: supposed to handle us. And also we don't give our permission.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: We don't give our selves permission to heal. It's such
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: a stigma in taboo when when when we're talking about
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: our families, Okay, we're gonna brush this thing under the rug.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: We're never going to talk about it again. We're not
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: gonna tackle how we're dealing with our feelings. We just
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: gonna go on with life and we're gonna keep moving forward.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: When in essence, we don't understand or realize that we're
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: holding ourselves back.
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: There is light at the end of the tunnel, you know.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And essentially you're keeping your own self nailed to
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: a cross yead of Because I love how you mentioned, Lisa,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: that you made a choice to do something differently, You
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: gave yourself permission to feel angry, to feel hurt, And
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: I'm curious, Lisa, for our audience, what did it take
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: for you to begin to build that relationship with your
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: anger and your tears. Because let's be realistic that as
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: a woman, you're highly stigmatized when we show any out
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: of frustration anger. We're expected to be the little doll
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: that you just sit on the shelf, and you just
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: sit like this all day.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: Yes, take the.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Weight of the world. So what did it take for
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: you to build that relationship with your anger and your
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: tears and not feel as though you have to continue
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: to stifle them like most people do when they're grieving.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: One of the things I had to do and I'm
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: still working through Porsche, is is giving myself permission to
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: not care what other people feel and think, because oftentimes
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: when we are moving from one place to another, people
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: are watching you, and specifically it could be people in
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: your family watching you, and because like I said, they
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: feel a certain way, they expect for you to feel
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: that way as well, not fully realizing the burden that
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: they are placing upon you. And sometimes I had to
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: figure out myself, is that I'm carrying other people's burdens.
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: I'm not even carrying my own burden. I want to
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: be happy.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: I want to be fulfilled, I want to live my
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: life on and with some type of purpose. But I
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: also felt like, oh, I have to be sad because
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: my mom has said, Oh I have to be said
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: because I'm thinking about, you know, my my sister's daughters.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: I have to be said because everybody else is said.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: And one of the things that really kept me in
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: bondage Porsche for many years is there is always another
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: side to when you're when you are dealing with an
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: individual in your family who has been murdered. So, you know,
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: we went through trial and then for years we went
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: through parole hearings, and so it was just as if
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: you can never catch your break. You're always eating, breathing,
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: sleeping and living. Okay, I'm getting ready to go for
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: this next parole hearing in a year or two years.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: So you're mentally preparing yourself and emotionally preparing yourself for
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: the next you know. And for me, I just had
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: to even get to a point where I said, well,
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: maybe the parole hearings is something that I should not do,
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: but I felt that I owed it to my family
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: to continue to go on. Although yes I did want
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: justice for my sister to continue on, but at what
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: point do you set yourself free? So I had to
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: give myself permission to not be angry when I wanted
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: to be happy. I would feel guilty if I had
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: a sense of joy and happiness, and you know, I
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: would just say, Okay, you're supposed to be sad because
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: everyone else around you is sad. So I just had
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: to pull myself up in honestly portion. That came with
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: a lot of praying. Of course, it comes with a
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: lot of you know, mental you know, you know, staying
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: on top of my mental and emotional health, as well
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: as giving myself permission to seek therapy.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: And so yeah, giving my self permission.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: Because some people, of course in all communities, would say,
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: well why do you need that. You know, God heal
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: everything in his own time. Time heals all wounds, all
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: of these things that you hear, Well, time doesn't heal
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: all wombs. You know, we have to do that internal work.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: So I'm still a working process. I'm still a work
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: in progress.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: I live my live. I live day to day. You know,
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: there may be a moment when I'm just like, oh
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: my gosh, this really happened to you know, my family.
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: And as the years go by, I noticed that the
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: grieving became more because I was more in tune with reality,
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: like I'm never going to see her again. I mean,
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: you know, it's been ten twenty years. And well, people
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: say that time heals all wounds and God doesn't put
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: more on you than you can bear. And I'm like, Okay,
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: these are all lies, these are these are lies. So
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: you know, I gave my self permission and I continuously
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: to give myself permission to deal with and live in regality.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: You know that there are going to be some good days,
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: There's gonna be some bad days.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: I love, Lisa, how you brought up about the stigma
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: all over again in the African American community of seeking
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: help and the regurgitated platitudes of time heals or wounds
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: or given to God, He'll take your burdens away from you.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: At the same time, God gave you a brain and
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: also other people to help you to work with heaviness. Right,
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: And Lisa, I love how you brought up too about
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: showing up at the different trials and the paroles. Would
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: you be so kindly so to share with our audience
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: where that is today after thirty two years of Linda's passing.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: After thirty two years of Linda's passing, my family and
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: I have gone through and don't quote me on the totals.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: I could be wrong, because at some point you just
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: you saw the lose track. So I would say we
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: went through a total of seven parole hearings and last
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: year was the last time we went up for parole
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: hearing and my sister, my sister's murderer, who was her husband,
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: he was actually denied parole for the seventh time, and
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: that was in July of twenty twenty four, and within
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: a month's time, he was also moving forward with with
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: a trial or hearing for a compassionate release because of
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: his age. So he had served twenty plus years in
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: prison and he was now turning sixty years old. And
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: to be quite honest with you, Porsche, he had been
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: the model prisoner. He had done everything right throughout his
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: serving his prison term. He had never been into any trouble.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: He was able to maintain employment, you know, through the
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: penal system. He was also in a few programs where
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: he helped other prisoners who were in the preno system.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: So he had what you call a grid score of
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: it's a grid score they go from and I don't
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: know what those numbers are, but he basically had a
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: grid score of zero. He had done everything right, nothing wrong,
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: and so what we thought was him being denied for
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: a compassionate release ended up being permission for him to
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: gain a compassionate release. So we went from one month
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: of him being denied parole again for the seventh time
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: to moving on to being granted compassionate release, which was
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: very difficult for us because we were trying to understand, Okay,
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: we just had a parole hearing less than a month.
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: Ago and he was denied, and now he is being.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: Given permission to receive a compassionate release. And then within
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: another month's time, within September, which was around my sister's birthday,
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: he was released from prison after serving twenty plus almost
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: thirty years in prison. That was extremely difficult for each
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: of us, of course, my family and I, but also
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: for me, to be quite honest with you, when we
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: were in the hearing on that particular day in August
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: and the judge said compassionate release granted, I felt a.
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: Relief come over me.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: I honestly, and I felt guilty because I didn't feel
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: like it was something that I could share with my
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: family at the time. But it was as if an
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: elephant fell off of my back that I had.
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: Been carrying for so many years.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: Because, like I said, when you're going up for these
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: parole hearings, and you and your ultimate goal is to
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: fight for justice for your loved one. You are spending
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: countless nights wondering what can I say, what can I do?
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: What could I have said differently? What am I going
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: to say the next time? And those hearings come up
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: so abruptly, you know, you are preparing from year to
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: year or every other year, and you are eat sleeping
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: and breathing thinking about, oh my gosh, what am I
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: going to do if this person actually is set free?
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: You know, And that's how I lived my life.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: For about thirty plus years. I lived my life that way. Okay,
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: what am I going to say? What am I going
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: to do? How am I going to react? And you know,
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: you have so many emotions going on at the same time.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: Not only are you dealing with a death, but you're
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: dealing with a brutal murder, a heneus crime. And when
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: I heard compassionate release, granted, it was just almost as
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: if I said, Wow, I am set free as well.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: I don't have to worry about another parole earring. I
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: don't have to worry about sleepless nights wondering what I
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: am going to say. And that particular day, after that
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: hearing was over, I went home and I cried for
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: I screamed, I yelled, I cried, I kicked. I called
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: a few close people that you know, that had been
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: on this journey with me. And after I screamed, yell,
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: kid cried, I just said, thank you God, it's over.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: It's done.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: And that doesn't mean that I don't live my life
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: today thinking oh, well, you know.
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: Justice was not served for my sister, because it was.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: It really was.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: We got more time than we actually would have got gotten,
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: you know, because I've seen some families go through this
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: process Porsche and maybe three or five years, you know,
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: and we really we received thirty two years of justice.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: So I just had to just get on my knees
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: and thank God because when a part of a part
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: of him being set free, it also set me free
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: as well. I felt like I was no longer his
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: prisoner because I had also given myself permission to be
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: his prisoner. While he was serving a prison census, I
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: was serving a sentence to him saying you can't go on.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: You have to live this way.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: You have to be said, you have to be angry,
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: you can't be happy, you don't have purpose.
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: I live and sleep and breathed around his whole being.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: Would he you know the murder that he had committed,
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: as if I had almost committed the murder. So I
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: had to give myself even in that, to allow myself
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: to be set free.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: Oh, Lisa, you almost had me crying for a minute,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: because that sense of relief that you brought up is
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: often something that people are afraid to admit. Yeah. And
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: I think back to my mom's transition, and it was
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: three years this year, suffered for years being sick, and
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: I remember when we were standing in her hospital, it
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: was just me and my aunt, and I remember watching
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: her heart stop and I felt that wave of relief,
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: like it's over.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, she doesn't.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Have to keep suffering. And to your point, when you
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: made that decision, Lisa, to really do your grief differently,
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: honor Linda, instead of being a prisoner of all the emotions,
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: all the societal narratives of how grief is depicted, I
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: think you were given the greatest gift because you took
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: action to also transform.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, yeah, yeah, And it hasn't been easy.
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: It comes with you, you.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: Know, being concerned about your you know, your loved ones,
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: your families. I'm quite sure you know what I'm talking about, Porsche,
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: and just sometimes wondering, not worrying, but wondering, well, what
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: do they think? Because sometimes it can come with some
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: some some backlash.
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: You know, you just never know.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: Some people want you to be on that that merry
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: go round with them, going around and around and around.
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: Okay, oh wave of emotions. Well why does she feel good? Well,
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: you know why why shouldn't I not feel good? So
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: it's been interesting to say the least.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sure. And as we both know, when it
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: comes to grief, even though we share the common nominator
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: of the person who transitioned in your case, Islenda for
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: me is my mom, everybody else's relationship with them is different,
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: so their grief is going to look different as well. Yes, Lisa,
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: before we wrap up here, first of all, thank you
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: so much for sharing today, because I know after thirty
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: two years there's probably some wounds that still sting when
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: it comes to Linda's passing. And also you brought up
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: about being proactive with honoring her legacy. For our audience
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: who's here if they want to connect with you if
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: they want to support your foundation, and also if you
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: have upcoming events and honor of Linda, because I know
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: her birthday is September the first. Yes, there's anything you
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: want to share with our audience about initiatives that you're
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: doing or you know any way they can support your foundation,
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: please let them know.
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: So the name of my organization, thank you so much, Porsche,
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: is SHIFT, which stands for Self Healing, Ignite, Flourishing Transformation.
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: We do a podcast monthly podcast.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: When we when we can, sometimes it isn't It doesn't
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: run every month, but I also within my organization along
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: with the podcast I do. Coming up, I'm having a luncheon,
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: well a dinner for It's called the Pink and Pearls Luncheon,
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: which will honor my sister because she loved pink and pearls.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: So that's coming up on July eighth, nineteenth of this month,
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: which is I think this is coming Saturday, and so
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: it will just be me and my board members for
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: my organization SHIFT and I am Blenda's Voice, where we'll
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: just sit down together, have dinner and honor Lender's life.
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: We're coming up on thirty two years.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: It will be exactly thirty two years on July eighteenth
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: of twenty twenty five that we lost London, and I
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: wanted to do something different this year. Normally would I
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: would partner with another organization and we would go to
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: the grave sites and we would honor our loved ones.
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: But I wanted to do something different this year.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: I wanted to just sit down, wear pink and pearls
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: and honor Londa and just honor those who have been
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: on this journey with me. Also during the month of October,
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: October twenty fifth, I will be having that is Domestic
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: Violence Awareness Month, and I will be having a Domestic
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Violence Awareness luncheon in green Belt, Maryland, and that will
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: be on October twenty fifth. Well, we were just again
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: on a Londa's legacy and we will also honor victims
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: and survivors of domestic violence. And what I like to
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: do is I like to pick a child who has
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: lost a parent to domestic violence as well as a
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: survivor and a thriver of domestic violence and just honor them.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: And then in December, I have Each December, I have
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: a break the Play event where we come together and
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: we shift, we leave all of those things behind that
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: we want to leave behind and not take them into
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: the new year. We honor in the uplift those who
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: join us, and then at the end of the ceremony
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: we break the plate and we move to a clean slate.
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: For you know, the next year. So I like to
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: do that at the end of the year.
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: For those who would like to reach out support so
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: a seed if you can, or.
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: Just offer, you know, us an encouraging word.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: You can contact me at Lisa Renee on Facebook l
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: I s A R E n e E. And on
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: Instagram it's Lisa C. L l I s A C.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: And if you would like to reach me on my website,
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: the website at shiftinc dot org. So you know, we
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: more so than anything and encouraging word a prayer to
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: just keep us moving forth in That's actually how I
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: got through starting my podcast and then moving on to
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: building my foundation is just.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: By encouraging myself on social media.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: And then from there I noticed that me encouraging myself
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: on a morning basis was encouraging others. So that's actually
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: how a Shift came about. So and that's exactly what
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: we're doing. We are being intentional about our healing and
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: transforming our lives and hoping, and you know that others
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: will do the same.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: You know, Alisa, you said it all right, showing up
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: despite the hurt, showing up despite how heavy you might
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: feel and what other people might think. How are you
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: standing tall and talking about this when I've been stuck
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: here for ten twenty plus years. And again, that choice,
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: It started with that initial choice of I want to
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: do my grief differently. I want to show up differently
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: and honor my sister and give that back to other
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: people who have experienced the same situation as my sister.
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: Or more yes, yes, yes, well.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: Everybody, that was Lisa counsel that you heard from. And
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: that concludes another episode of Group Porsche. Everybody, thanks for
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: listening until next time piece and a Greece Everyone,