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Carmen Talk: My Caribbean Adventure with New Friends and Old Connections · All About The Joy

• 0:11
  Carmen Lezeth: Hey everyone, welcome to All About the Joy the podcast.
• 0:14
  Carmen Lezeth: This is Carmen Talk and I'm Carmen Lissette, your host.
• 0:17
  Carmen Lezeth: I want to first say thank you so much for liking and sharing and just being part of the All About the Joy journey.
• 0:27
  Carmen Lezeth: I have to get really better about asking people to follow us and to help us out.
• 0:31
  Carmen Lezeth: So I'm going to do that whole call-to-action thing that I'm really bad about and I think it's really important to know what you suck at and try to overcome it anyway, so I'm going to try to do that.
• 0:41
  Carmen Lezeth: So, if any of you have not already liked or commented or supported our show in such a way whether it's on YouTube or LinkedIn or Facebook or on any places that you listen to your podcast we'd really appreciate you to like, comment and share.
• 0:57
  Carmen Lezeth: I prefer only good stuff, though, but again, any interaction is great interaction, so I appreciate you doing that for me and for us on this show.
• 1:06
  Carmen Lezeth: We're just trying to move forward and I'm going to do better about asking for your help and supporting the show.
• 1:11
  Carmen Lezeth: So I'm here in Aruba and I am excited that I've been the podcast from here.
• 1:17
  Carmen Lezeth: We did do the live stream this week and you know you're living in learn.
• 1:20
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, the studio is amazing.
• 1:22
  Carmen Lezeth: I wasn't really sure how I'd be able to do this internationally.
• 1:27
  Carmen Lezeth: I had never been to this hotel before.
• 1:28
  Carmen Lezeth: So, as much as I know that there are plenty of people who podcast and live stream and do things from all over the world, this was the first time for all of us, and for me especially, and even though I'm getting great at editing and this has been such a journey for me for the past year to be developing my skills and podcasting.
• 1:47
  Carmen Lezeth: The truth is, you know, it's still really hard and I made a huge mistake in that I didn't bring the right mic with me, and so the live stream was fun, and I want to say thank you to Cynthia and for Tony Deeper coming on the show and, of course, rick Costo, my host, who did all they could to help me get situated while we were doing the live stream, and I appreciate them so much for dealing with my kind of clumsiness.
• 2:10
  Carmen Lezeth: But yeah, the live stream was fun.
• 2:12
  Carmen Lezeth: Check it out on YouTube or on Facebook live and, you know, again, give us a comment, like or share.
• 2:16
  Carmen Lezeth: I appreciate you.
• 2:18
  Carmen Lezeth: I was going to try to fix the audio so that I could just place the audio of the live stream onto the podcast, as I usually do.
• 2:24
  Carmen Lezeth: So any of you who are just driving to work or you know we'll sing, you know want to just check out the live stream.
• 2:30
  Carmen Lezeth: You always have that option with the podcast.
• 2:32
  Carmen Lezeth: But look it, we're just going with the flow here, right?
• 2:35
  Carmen Lezeth: That's what's so cool about all about the joy.
• 2:37
  Carmen Lezeth: There are no rules and we learn and we get better and we do better.
• 2:40
  Carmen Lezeth: But today's topic, what I really want to talk about in Carmen Talk is a thing that is so amazingly important to me, especially right now friendships.
• 2:48
  Carmen Lezeth: And let me tell you why I'm so intrigued by this.
• 2:50
  Carmen Lezeth: I am here in Aruba with 16 friends and 15, I should say 15 friends because I'm the 16th one, but these are 15 women and they range in all ages, all different circumstances.
• 3:04
  Carmen Lezeth: All of them are from the East Coast I believe I think I'm the only one who's coming who came in from California, but most of them live in New England and everybody is just pretty cool.
• 3:13
  Carmen Lezeth: I did not know most of them.
• 3:15
  Carmen Lezeth: Of course, I grew up with Mary and Joanne, who I love with all my heart, and they invited me last October, when I went back home, to go to Patty Ann's funeral, which is their older sister, who we love and miss with all our heart, and they just said, hey, do you want to come?
• 3:30
  Carmen Lezeth: We go every year, we do this thing and we hang out and we leave our husbands and our kids at home and we go on vacation and we have a blast.
• 3:38
  Carmen Lezeth: Come with us.
• 3:38
  Carmen Lezeth: And I said Okay.
• 3:40
  Carmen Lezeth: And so I'm here and let me tell you I was a little nervous about getting here because I don't know most of the people, right, and you know how friendships are.
• 3:48
  Carmen Lezeth: You have these relationships with people and then you meet other people and it may not click.
• 3:52
  Carmen Lezeth: But you know what I realized about friendships and about connections?
• 3:56
  Carmen Lezeth: Because Mary and Joanne are the people.
• 3:58
  Carmen Lezeth: They are the people that they know are cool and awesome and friendly and nice.
• 4:04
  Carmen Lezeth: So it stems from them, right.
• 4:07
  Carmen Lezeth: So I'm not saying everybody's perfect and great.
• 4:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know everyone that well, but let me tell you I've made some instant friendships, like immediately, and there's a comfort level when you're around people, especially when the people who leave the group, in a way, you just feel settled in, like we all met at the airport and we all hugged each other and it was just kind of this cool thing.
• 4:26
  Carmen Lezeth: And then they had all these little things to kind of be icebreakers, which was really a smart thing to do.
• 4:30
  Carmen Lezeth: We all had to buy t-shirts for somebody we were partnered with, and let me tell you, the t-shirts are so nasty like the nastier the better.
• 4:39
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm not going to say what the t-shirts are they're on my Facebook page if you want to see them, and they are public.
• 4:44
  Carmen Lezeth: But it was just a fun way to kind of be open to the possibility of a t-shirt that somebody would give you right, and so I didn't know the person I had to give my t-shirt to, but she took it with grace and funniness and she happened to be my partner too.
• 4:59
  Carmen Lezeth: So she gave me a really bad, nasty t-shirt.
• 5:01
  Carmen Lezeth: I would say it's as bad as the one I gave her, but I loved it and I was laughing so hard and it was a great icebreaker.
• 5:07
  Carmen Lezeth: And what was even funnier is that we did this all on the beach the first night we got here or first morning we got here I can't remember now, but it was morning or early afternoon and everybody else who was on the beach was cracking up laughing because all of us were just like you opened up the t-shirt and you put it up to your chest and everybody had to read it and it was just, they're so nasty and gross and funny and it just made everyone laugh and everybody was such a good sport about it because we knew what this was about.
• 5:30
  Carmen Lezeth: This is about trying to have connections and trying to be okay with each other and really just a fun time, and I've learned so much about people.
• 5:38
  Carmen Lezeth: Just, you know, we talked a lot about relationships and men and love and I don't know it's.
• 5:44
  Carmen Lezeth: It's been a really good fun time so far, and we're not even halfway there yet.
• 5:49
  Carmen Lezeth: I went power sailing today with my very good friend Connie and I say that because I kept calling her Colleen, because anybody who knows me knows I'm horrible with nicknames, especially if I don't know you.
• 5:58
  Carmen Lezeth: But I asked everybody that grew because it's something I really want to do.
• 6:02
  Carmen Lezeth: I wanted to go power sailing.
• 6:02
  Carmen Lezeth: A few people had already done it because they've been here so many times, but Connie and I had not done it.
• 6:07
  Carmen Lezeth: We didn't really know each other, but we're like, yeah, we did it this morning.
• 6:10
  Carmen Lezeth: Let me tell you we did it together.
• 6:11
  Carmen Lezeth: It was so funny crying, laughing the whole time.
• 6:14
  Carmen Lezeth: It was a great adventure.
• 6:15
  Carmen Lezeth: I had been skydiving before.
• 6:17
  Carmen Lezeth: I thought it would be scarier than skydiving, but I was wrong.
• 6:19
  Carmen Lezeth: It's actually, I think, easier than skydiving by far in a long way, but it was really fun.
• 6:23
  Carmen Lezeth: I encourage anyone who ever thought about power sailing to do it.
• 6:27
  Carmen Lezeth: We did it together, which I didn't even know you could do it together.
• 6:30
  Carmen Lezeth: I thought you could only do it one at a time, but I guess it's based on weight, because they asked us how much we weighed, and so we were able to do it together and it was so much fun.
• 6:38
  Carmen Lezeth: There are too many pictures.
• 6:40
  Carmen Lezeth: We had someone on the boat take pictures.
• 6:41
  Carmen Lezeth: We met a wonderful couple and their kids on the boat and they took our cell phone and took all these pictures.
• 6:48
  Carmen Lezeth: So I'll post some of those at some point.
• 6:50
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm really bad at the whole picture taking.
• 6:52
  Carmen Lezeth: My cousin, cynthia, has been asking me for pictures the whole time I've been here, but I'm the worst of it.
• 6:56
  Carmen Lezeth: So everybody else from the trip who's on my Facebook page is posting pictures and I'm kind of just like being tagged on them.
• 7:02
  Carmen Lezeth: But at some point I'll put some pictures up on the Facebook page as well.
• 7:05
  Carmen Lezeth: I think what I'm done with the trip, but I just think friendships are so cool and if you're open to meeting new people and if you're open to not making judgments right, we all make judgments.
• 7:15
  Carmen Lezeth: So let me just back up there for a moment, because I think that's a weird thing to say.
• 7:18
  Carmen Lezeth: I think it's part of human instinct to make judgments, right.
• 7:22
  Carmen Lezeth: I'm sure a lot of it is based on our environment, but it's a way of protecting ourselves.
• 7:26
  Carmen Lezeth: But if you trust people in the group like I trust Mary and DeWan with my life, I love them, they're my family and I trust them Then I'm able to be open to the possibility of all the other people they know and love.
• 7:38
  Carmen Lezeth: And when you can open yourself up to that, it's just such a great experience.
• 7:43
  Carmen Lezeth: Now, do I think I'm going to know these women for the rest of my life?
• 7:46
  Carmen Lezeth: I think so, maybe, but I'm just saying it's the coolest, most wonderful experience I've had in a long time and I really do love meeting people.
• 7:54
  Carmen Lezeth: I meet people all the time.
• 7:55
  Carmen Lezeth: This was just a different environment and a different way to do it and I encourage you, if you're someone who's shy or someone who doesn't really make friends easily, join a meetup group.
• 8:06
  Carmen Lezeth: There's meetupcom who, by the way, I'm not sponsored by them or whatever, but there are so many different places where you can go and connect with people in your community and I just know meetupcom is one of them.
• 8:18
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not about dating, it's about finding things that you like to do together and, like I think I had joined a hiking group I don't know back in the day I was like 2005 or something so I was still at brand new school and I just wanted to start hiking and that's how I met a lot of the people I started working out with, because I joined the meetup group and they started.
• 8:36
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, they were not so much hikers as they were working out people, but it was the same concept.
• 8:41
  Carmen Lezeth: So and I'm still friends with some of those guys today.
• 8:45
  Carmen Lezeth: So really great experience to meet people and strangers and to become like instant friends.
• 8:51
  Carmen Lezeth: Such a great fun time.
• 8:53
  Carmen Lezeth: But I'll also say this I had another experience where and this is during the same time while I've been here I you know, of course I'm still working.
• 9:01
  Carmen Lezeth: I have several clients and so, even though all of my amazing, amazing co-workers are taking over and taking care of things and I wanna say thank you to them they don't necessarily listen to my podcast, but happy and grateful that I can take the vacation because other people can step up and take care of stuff, and.
• 9:19
  Carmen Lezeth: But I've been checking my emails and, of course, checking my personal emails, and I had an old friend reach out to me and it was a random email, like I hadn't talked to him in a long time.
• 9:26
  Carmen Lezeth: I didn't understand why he was sending me the email and I'm not saying I was defensive, but I was completely suspicious, you know, like so that threw me and, of course, everyone who knows me I'm pretty bold about being like what do you really want?
• 9:39
  Carmen Lezeth: Like why are you emailing me this crap?
• 9:40
  Carmen Lezeth: You know you emailed me a link about something very political and which is fine because we're both very political people and we do have that in common but I was a little bit thrown by it because I didn't understand, like why are you reaching out to me now of all days?
• 9:54
  Carmen Lezeth: You know it's been such a long time.
• 9:56
  Carmen Lezeth: So I just asked him that and he was like dude, I was just reaching out to say hey, you know, and I thought of you and it's such an interesting thing.
• 10:03
  Carmen Lezeth: You know I had conversations with friends about this.
• 10:05
  Carmen Lezeth: It's not that he's a good person he's always been a good person but sometimes I just want people to be straight up, like do you need something?
• 10:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Are you gonna ask me a favor?
• 10:15
  Carmen Lezeth: Because if you're not in my life on a regular basis but then you act like you are, it's a little bit hard for me.
• 10:20
  Carmen Lezeth: But I think that's more about me and not about him, right, and not about other people.
• 10:24
  Carmen Lezeth: So you know, you always have the ability to grow and I think you know that's.
• 10:28
  Carmen Lezeth: I think that's the best part of life If you are always willing to check yourself, to ask other people if maybe you're acting real crazy or something.
• 10:38
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, like I reached out to another friend and said, hey, is this weird?
• 10:40
  Carmen Lezeth: And I asked people in the group and they were like well, you know, of course they don't know me, they don't know him, but it was really good to realize like, all right, maybe I'm overstepping, I'm overreacting, I'm being an idiot.
• 10:50
  Carmen Lezeth: Like it's not a big deal.
• 10:51
  Carmen Lezeth: People can reach out to you just to say hi, and it means nothing at all.
• 10:55
  Carmen Lezeth: Or it can mean something really cool and fun.
• 10:57
  Carmen Lezeth: It doesn't have to be a negative.
• 10:59
  Carmen Lezeth: And so of course, me and this other person, this man, I have a history.
• 11:02
  Carmen Lezeth: So I, you know, I reverted back to that place where I was like he wants something.
• 11:06
  Carmen Lezeth: I know he does, you know, but I don't want to be that person.
• 11:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I want to also be someone who can realize that you know what.
• 11:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Everybody isn't doing something to try to do something neat or trick me or whatever, like I don't want to be that person, not even to someone that I think might actually need something.
• 11:22
  Carmen Lezeth: So what if he needs something?
• 11:23
  Carmen Lezeth: Right?
• 11:24
  Carmen Lezeth: Maybe this was his way to just say hi and he needs to ask a favor.
• 11:27
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what I can say yes or no Does it make him a bad person?
• 11:30
  Carmen Lezeth: I also know I'm pretty intimidating.
• 11:31
  Carmen Lezeth: I don't know if I'd be to him.
• 11:33
  Carmen Lezeth: But I think as I get older and as I start reflecting back on a lot of the relationships I've had in my life, I understand that my ability to be so honest and blunt and so on, point about what I know, what I don't know, who I like, who I don't like.
• 11:49
  Carmen Lezeth: I know that people see that as a plus, but it's also something that I know is also a negative right, because I don't give people sometimes the ability to have grace, you know, to do things the way they need to do it, without forcing them to tell me whatever it is that they need.
• 12:05
  Carmen Lezeth: So what I'm self-reflecting on right now and during this whole process of me going out and meeting new friends you know, going to a Ruba place I've never been traveling with 16 women.
• 12:17
  Carmen Lezeth: Part of me was really scared about doing that, but I'm so excited and loving it, doing things like parasailing and not being so worried about every little thing, like I was like what are the safety things?
• 12:29
  Carmen Lezeth: What do you need to know?
• 12:29
  Carmen Lezeth: They're like dude, we do this all the time.
• 12:31
  Carmen Lezeth: We're just gonna hook you up to the harness, you're gonna go up.
• 12:33
  Carmen Lezeth: I was like freaking out, you know.
• 12:34
  Carmen Lezeth: So I think that as I get older, what I'm self-reflecting on is being able to let go of some of those things that I think are my protection mechanisms right, being open to new possibilities, being open to the fact that I can continue to grow and learn and be a better person.
• 12:49
  Carmen Lezeth: I think that is the whole purpose of life is that you continue, no matter how old you get, no matter how grown you think you be right, no matter how much you understand the world and you think you know it all, that you realize.
• 13:02
  Carmen Lezeth: You know what?
• 13:03
  Carmen Lezeth: I still have an ability to be wrong.
• 13:06
  Carmen Lezeth: I still have the ability to learn.
• 13:09
  Carmen Lezeth: I still have the ability to understand that there might be a different perspective or way of doing things, that I have the ability to make new, cool, awesome friends, even if it's just for this week.
• 13:21
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, for this vacation.
• 13:22
  Carmen Lezeth: Like every friend doesn't have to be your, you know, ride free or die person.
• 13:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Is that how you say that?
• 13:29
  Carmen Lezeth: I forget Ted Hicks and I have had this whole thing that I've never heard of, but you know what I mean.
• 13:33
  Carmen Lezeth: Like everybody doesn't have to be your best, best friend.
• 13:35
  Carmen Lezeth: So I'm just having a great time.
• 13:37
  Carmen Lezeth: I hope that, whatever you're thinking about right now if you're listening to this podcast, that you have a great day and that this kind of makes you think about your life as well and what you're doing to grow and be open to new possibilities and new adventures.
• 13:52
  Carmen Lezeth: You know, we're just not even midway into this vacation and I have to tell you it might be one of the best things I've done in the past 20 years.
• 14:01
  Carmen Lezeth: Just to you know, take a shot and go somewhere.
• 14:04
  Carmen Lezeth: I've never been with people I don't really know Well.
• 14:07
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, I know Mary Joanne, really well so, but you know what I mean.
• 14:10
  Carmen Lezeth: Anyways, I am grateful for everyone who listens to the show.
• 14:13
  Carmen Lezeth: Thank you for listening to this.
• 14:14
  Carmen Lezeth: Carmen talk Very appreciative and I hope you will do what I asked earlier in this recording Please comment, like and share, support us in the only way I need you to.
• 14:24
  Carmen Lezeth: We don't need any money.
• 14:25
  Carmen Lezeth: I mean, we need money.
• 14:26
  Carmen Lezeth: I need a lot of money if somebody wants to sponsor us, but I'm just saying what I need from people who listen to us and who care about the things that I'm trying to accomplish with this show.
• 14:34
  Carmen Lezeth: We just need you to comment, like and share on all platforms that you possibly can.
• 14:38
  Carmen Lezeth: I'd really appreciate it.
• 14:40
  Carmen Lezeth: And, of course, please come visit us on the live stream on Thursday nights, 6pm Pacific, 9pm Eastern, or wherever we are internationally.
• 14:49
  Carmen Lezeth: I'll make sure to post it and also listen to the podcast that posts on Sundays at your leisure.
• 14:55
  Carmen Lezeth: And please listen to or watch the replays on YouTube and Facebook.
• 14:58
  Carmen Lezeth: We appreciate it.
• 15:00
  Carmen Lezeth: We appreciate the views.
• 15:01
  Carmen Lezeth: We appreciate even when you don't like us on YouTube, which is so funny Like I don't know why people keep watching the show on YouTube if they don't like the show, but it's still great, great interaction for us.
• 15:13
  Carmen Lezeth: So, but you know, if you don't like the show, you can make a comment.
• 15:15
  Carmen Lezeth: I prefer that you don't because it's a lot of work for me, but I'll try to answer every single comment I can.
• 15:21
  Carmen Lezeth: You can also send me a message.
• 15:22
  Carmen Lezeth: Anyway, thanks for listening.
• 15:24
  Carmen Lezeth: Remember it really is all about the joy and we'll see you next week.
• 15:28
  Carmen Lezeth: Bye from Aruba.
• 15:30
  Carmen Lezeth: Thanks for stopping by.
• 15:32
  Carmen Lezeth: All about the joy.
• 15:33
  Carmen Lezeth: Be better and stay beautiful folks.
• 15:36
  Carmen Lezeth: Have a sweet day.