Latest / Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud / S1 Ep28: Peanut vs. Walter/ The Ultimate Comedy Showdown

Transcript

S1 Ep28: Peanut vs. Walter/ The Ultimate Comedy Showdown · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, does your wife drive that car?
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: The priest?
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh sure.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh good, yeah.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: How's she doing?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: My wife, she's fine.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh good.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: How's the family?
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: They're fine.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh good.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: So I was just wondering.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks a lot.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, everything's fine.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: Everything's fine.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: I just wanna make sure.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, you know, we're on the road alone.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: She's hot.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: And her pride is now.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yours was twenty years ago.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: And she's home, right?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Hello.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_03: Are you sure?
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_03: How do you know?
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: I trust her.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Well, she's been with someone else.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like me.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, come on, you go purple, you never go back.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: I really don't think my wife has slept with you, Peanette.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: Well, think about this for a second.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: In a twisted kind of way, all five of us on stage have slept with your wife.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: When you're wacky and having a great time, that's me.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: When you're pissed off and lying there thinking, why did I marry this broad?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's Walter?
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: When you're so angry you want to kill her, that's Achmed.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: What is Jose Jalapeno on a stick?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: You're a sick man.
• 2:37
  unknown: Now.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: Good evening, Jose.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: Hola, senor Jeff.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's good to see you.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's good to see you.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: Could I see a senor heath?
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: Excuse me?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: Who the hell is heath?
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: He said Jeff.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: No, he said heath.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's the same thing.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Uh no, it's not.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: Jose, what do you say?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: I say senor.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: What the f now I said.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's all the same.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: Wait, didn't you watch sesame streets?
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: Jeff is Jeff, Heath is Heath, and Heath is Jeff.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: One of these things uh stars in the law here.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: Tonight's show is sponsored by the sound.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, Jose.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: He's okay.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, he's an idiot.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: The first guy I'd like to introduce to you, I think audiences enjoy because everyone knows someone like this.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know someone like this in your own family or where you work.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: Please help me welcome my old friend Walter.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Give it a lie.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: How you doing, Walter?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: What the hell happened to your hair?
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: Looks like you're in a frickin' car wreck.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: Well, they said it makes me look hip.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: I think it makes you look homeless.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_01: Been in DC for two days and you're already frickin' homeless.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Holy came on, Walter, do you like being in DC?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, there's nothing quite like being mugged in our nation's capital.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, there's a lot of excitement that goes on here in Washington, DC.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oh I know, yeah, what happens in DC stays on YouTube.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: What'd you do for fun today?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: I stood in front of the IRS building, just flipped them off.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: Did you go to the White House?
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, that's where the most powerful man in the free world lives.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Ultra.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: What's wrong with you tonight?
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just pissed.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to go home.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: Why not?
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: I think my house is haunted.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: Why do you think that?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: My wife is there.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: I walk in the front door and all I hear is get out.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: You guys got another argument on the phone today, didn't you?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you heard a little bit of that, did you?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: Hung up on her.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: Not good, no.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: She called right back and she goes, did you hang up on me?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: I said, I don't know, there sounds something like this, Click.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: Did that make her angry?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I felt a disturbance in the force.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: You ever made it that mad when you're standing right in front of her?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, what'd you do?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, my mother always told me when you're in a gym and don't know what to do, you should think, what would Jesus do?
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: So I tried to turn her into a fish.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: I stood there going, leave on Satan.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, shamel.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: Molly Shamu has only one blue hole.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: Please help me welcome my buddy Peanut.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: How are you doing?
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: How about you?
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm fine.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's good.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: That's good.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: That's good.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: So you like it here?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love Ding and DC! It's great! And I love this theater, the War of the Warner theater.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's fantastic.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: They have a cool website, right?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: They got a link to our website, which is Jeff DonaHam.com, and I think that Paul I think that peanut is a host of host of his day.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: What the hell is wrong with you?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: We cannot talk at the same time.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: I talk you don't, I talk you don't.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's it! Focus.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: I am so sick of this crap! I have tried going solo.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: What happened?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: It fallen off this fucking thing and I just Why did you interrupt me?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: You mispronounced my name.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: What you mispronounced my last name?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's Dunham.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: Now when you look at it, it says Dunham, just Dunham.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: You're the other white knee.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: Don't confuse everyone, it's Dunham.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: It says Dun Han.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, you know, when you think about it for a second, it's actually jeff, dun ha.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: What jeffa?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: You're using an unneeded F.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: Am I pissing you off the five?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: You know the weird part is I am actually pissing him off.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: And he would like to kill me.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: But he will not, because that would be a form of suicide.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: You want to kill me?
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: No, I don't.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, you do.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: No, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: All those years of the head and now it's over.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: So all those years of raising the girls and the families broken up.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: So no more laid.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: No more life.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, please let me live vicariously through you.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: Walter, divorce is not a good thing.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you can't lie to me.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: So what happened?
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: What happened, Walter, is that unfortunately in our country these days, more than 50% of marriages now end in divorce.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: And sadly, mine was on that side of things.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Jeff, I never thought I'd say this to you, but you're my hero.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, what's it like to wake up in the morning and not hate your life?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: To not think, oh, here she comes.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: You can leave your toilet seat up all the time.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'd hot blue line open for God's sakes.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then in the backyard.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: Just because I could.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: Walter divorce is painful.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, like a deep tissue massage.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: So how long's it been?
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: Almost three years now.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: So you dating anybody now?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: Matter of fact, I am.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: Female.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes that's the problem.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: Honey, I got bad news and I got good news.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: Bad news is I want a divorce.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: Good news is I'm on your team now.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, let's knit.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: So this girl you're dating, is she the same age as you?
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh so she's older.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: Younger.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: How much younger?
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: Doesn't matter, guess it does.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, does she have nice boobs?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: That don't hang down past her knees.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: Your loobs hang low.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: Do they wall the joy through?
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: Can you tie an ananot?
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: Can you tie an anabol?
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: Can you throw them on your shoulder like a company?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: So to do your tents all right.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: What do you hear a song like that?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't hear it.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: I wrote it down.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: But you never sung it to your wife every morning.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's not funny.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, even the dog laughs at that.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: That last part was me.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, do you make fun of your wife a lot?
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: I know it's funny as hell, isn't it?
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know, your wife is supposed to be your soulmate.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: You want to be the pot or the kettle?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I saw an old photo of you and your wife.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: Your wife's quite beautiful.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: You saw an old photo.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm kidding.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: I married a pet young beautiful thing.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she was allegedly eaten by the woman I live with now.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_02: So what is it you do, Mr.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_02: Nunn?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_02: I do nothing.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_02: I am rich.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_02: I mean really rich.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_02: Wanna see my car?
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: Pretty good.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: How about you?
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's good.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's yeah.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: So you're Batman.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Bat Nut.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: Bat Nut.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: Bat Nut, not least Avenger of the Night.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: Is that why you're talking like that?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: Of course.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: Bat Nut.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: You sound more like you're the choker.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, shut up.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: I do the talking.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: You just stand there and try to look like you're doing something besides just standing there.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: Look, do you really think bat nut scares criminals?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: Of course! Especially if they have a nut allergy.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: Face my honey roasted justice.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: So it seems to me like I'm standing next to a poor excuse for a Batman.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm standing next to a poor excuse for a white man.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: So do you have any weapons?
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: Of course.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: Batman has the that orang.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: I have the nuttering.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: The nuttering.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it does exactly what you think it does.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: But when it comes to that, I don't want to catch it.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I have two of them.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: I call them the dynamic duo.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I keep them near the lap hole.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_01: Are you finished?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, no more double entendres! Thank you.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: Until the next one! Peanut, don't get testicle! Oh, come on! So, like Batman, do you have a signal in the sky to summon you?
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I've been trying to figure that out.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: First, I was gonna have a big bat in the sky, then I thought, no, that's Batman.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: Then I thought, I know, I'll have one big nut in the sky.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: Then I thought, no, that's Lance Armstrong.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: This is ridiculous.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I have everything Batman has except one thing.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, butler! Funny.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, come on, dude.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: You make a great butler.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: No, just go with it.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: You're a Batnut Butler.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: Great, the Nuttler.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: Now, Nuttler! Go iron my cave and disinfect my polyester electrodes.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna be your butler.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: Nuttler, whatever.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not doing it.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's not like you have anything else to do.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: What does that mean?
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: Seriously, what are you doing the other guys and I aren't here?
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: Walk around looking for other folks to stand next to?
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: You even already have a butler name.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: What dunhan?
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: Oh Dunhan, bring me my tea! It's time to letter the scones! I'd even have a little bell.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: Ding ding! I want my scones! I'm not taking orders from you.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: You would if I did it in the voice.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: Time to polish the nuttering! And please fluff the padding in my cup.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: I love that voice.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: I also like the Darth Vader voice.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: I can do both at the same time.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: I am your father, Jeff.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: Stitch together from pieces of the dead.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: And it's trying to sleep.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: Shut the hell up.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going to build you pride.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: You will be terrified.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: This is not my idea.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: Good evening, Walter.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: Do I look like Walter?
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you look like a Walter Frankenstein.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: Well then call me Frankenstein.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: All right, Frankenstein, you look good.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: No, I don't.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: I look like a cross between Hillary Clinton and the Hulk.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: No offense, Hulk.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: You don't look like either one of them.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, then I look like Gundy in a nursing home.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: That would make you pokey.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: Get it, you're an ass.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: I got it.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's pretty good.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I've been working on that.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: That's my angry sound.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: Here's my happy sound.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: Here's surprised.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: Here's gay.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_01: If you don't like the costume, then why'd you pick this one?
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: We're supposed to dress as whatever scared us as a kid.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, so for you that was Frankenstein.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, it was a Catholic priest, but everybody gets mad when I offend the Mexicans.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: Walter, are you ever happy?
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: You should hope not.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: Can you imagine me coming out here in a good mood?
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: Hi everybody, I'm Walter and life is teachy.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: You'll be working at Starbucks in a fucking week.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: Language?
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: English.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: And you didn't even have to push one to hear it.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, while these people came here to be entertained, not all of them.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: You know there's a handful of guys sitting out there right now whose wives are like, oh come on, we have to go see the little aged dumbass and his dolls.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: And now those guys are sitting out there right now going, son of a bitch.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's a little aged dumbass and his dolls.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: And now you're playing dress up with your dolls.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: When's the tea party, kid?
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: Middle-aged dumbass.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_01: Which part of that did you not like the most?
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: Middle-aged or dumbass.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: What do you think?
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you're only as old as you feel, the dumbass is in the DNA.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know, speaking of uh age, you're not exactly young anymore.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: Hey! Let's think about this for a second.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_01: When how long have I been in the show?
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: 24 years.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: Twenty-four years! So anybody who might have seen our show 24 years ago, yeah, I look exactly the same.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: You do not.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this show started out young man, old man.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: Pretty soon we're gonna be the stinking sunshine, boys.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_01: I used to give you dating and marriage, you thoughts.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: Not too long from now we're gonna be on stage comparing colonoscopies.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Walter, age is a state of mind.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_01: Not when your ass starts leaking.