Latest / The World of Phil Hendrie / Episode #3969 The New Phil Hendrie Show

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Episode #3969 The New Phil Hendrie Show · The World of Phil Hendrie

0:03
Speaker 1: Welcome to the world-famous Phil Landry Show here from Tedville
0:06
Speaker 1: Canyon in Sierra Madre Canyon overlooking the great city of
0:11
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. Did you forget where you are?
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Speaker 2: No, I didn't forget where I am.
0:15
Speaker 1: I just, I was out having dinner in Thousand Oaks
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Speaker 1: and humping back here.
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Speaker 2: It was kind of a long evening because T.O. is about,
0:24
Speaker 2: and T.O. is Thousand Oaks for those of you that
0:26
Speaker 2: don't know. Yeah, that's, it's about an hour away. But yeah.
0:32
Speaker 1: And across the street at the Thousand Oaks Civic Arts Plaza,
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Speaker 1: the Performing Arts Center, was UB40, which I did not
0:40
Speaker 1: go and see, but they're one of my favorite bands,
0:42
Speaker 1: and I was happy to see that they were.
0:44
Speaker 2: In the locale. Anyway, welcome to the show, Phil. I
0:47
Speaker 2: just said welcome to the show, Phil. Lay down, man.
0:51
Speaker 2: If you need to lie down, Phil, go ahead. Let's
0:54
Speaker 2: get Jay Sanders up the line here. Line what? Line 233.
1:00
Speaker 2: Don't be a smartass, bud. Line 2-3. What line? Line 2.
1:03
Speaker 3: Okay.
1:04
Speaker 2: Jay, is that you? Jay, are you there?
1:06
Speaker 3: Oh, this one way.
1:07
Speaker 2: That sounds like his substation.
1:10
Speaker 3: You have a Santa's? Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh.
1:15
Speaker 2: Yeah. Give me the phone, will you, bud? God dang. Hey, Jay,
1:17
Speaker 2: is that you?
1:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, Phil, right here. I've been sort of waiting for
1:21
Speaker 3: you to come on board and join us here in
1:24
Speaker 3: the discussion. I don't know what's going on.
1:27
Speaker 2: Your bud's screwing around again.
1:28
Speaker 3: Yeah.
1:29
Speaker 2: I wasn't screwing around necessarily, but I did.
1:31
Speaker 3: Yes, I did. We sort of, I asked him to,
1:34
Speaker 3: you know, just delay it so we could mess it.
1:36
Speaker 3: Just have a couple of laughs with you, Phil. And
1:38
Speaker 3: what he was going to do is try to do
1:40
Speaker 3: an impression of me. And he'd go, you know, hey,
1:44
Speaker 3: how you doing, Jay? And then he'd do his impression
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Speaker 3: of me, and I'd say something like, I don't know
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Speaker 3: what I was going to say.
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Speaker 2: You were going to do an impression of Jay? Yeah,
1:51
Speaker 2: here it is. Yeah, everybody, I'm Jay Sandoz. This is Andre, please.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, see?
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Speaker 1: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: It's not bad, bud. It actually isn't bad, bud. I'm
2:01
Speaker 2: trying to adjust to everybody. Jay Sanos.
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Speaker 3: Are you guys serious? You think that's a good impression
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Speaker 3: of me? It's a good impression of me?
2:09
Speaker 1: It's a start, Jay. Let's not worry about it right now.
2:12
Speaker 1: Let's talk about this thing that I saw, and I
2:14
Speaker 1: really want to get into it.
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Speaker 3: The thing you saw was a van that said armed response.
2:21
Speaker 1: Let me get into this. Yes, I saw an armed response.
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Speaker 1: It's a van that had the name of Citizens Authority,
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Speaker 1: the police... So people will know.
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Speaker 3: Citizens Auxiliary the Police. That's like, that's like Taj the
2:32
Speaker 3: Mutant or something, like a wrestler. Citizens Auxiliary the Police.
2:36
Speaker 1: Citizens Auxiliary Police.
2:39
Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: Okay. So what I saw was one of your vans.
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Speaker 1: Now, you have, I know that you borrow the vans
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Speaker 1: of various subcommanders and their families when they're not using them.
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Speaker 2: And you put these, what are they, magnet signs?
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Speaker 3: Yeah, we put magnet signs on the side of them
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Speaker 3: that'll say, Citizens Auxiliary Police. We say lives. And we'll
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Speaker 3: have the phone number. And we'll have sometimes what our
3:01
Speaker 3: locale is. What we're doing now, Mr. Henry. is we
3:06
Speaker 3: are now unfortunately having to identify, which is something we
3:10
Speaker 3: did not want to happen. We'll have to get some water.
3:16
Speaker 2: Is he all right?
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
3:18
Speaker 2: You okay, Jake?
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm fine. We did not want to have to
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Speaker 3: identify as a Citizens' Auxiliary Police subunit See, what I'm
3:32
Speaker 3: in is a citizen's auxiliary police, but I'm also in
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Speaker 3: a subunit, which is called the Range Patrol or the
3:38
Speaker 3: Range Rider. Are you following me?
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Speaker 1: No, of course I'm not following you. I don't know
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Speaker 1: what you're talking about. I thought we were talking about
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Speaker 1: the idea of armed response.
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Speaker 3: Okay, all right, fine, fine. We can talk about that. Yeah,
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Speaker 3: so we got a new metallic sign that is a
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Speaker 3: magnetized sign that we put on the side of whosoever
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Speaker 3: SUV we're borrowing that week. I mean, this is... Kind
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Speaker 3: of embarrassing, Mr. Henry, because you're making it sound like
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Speaker 3: we're just a fly-by-night bunch of.
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Speaker 1: I'm not doing anything, Jay. I'm asking you about your organization.
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Speaker 1: I think I support your organization.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: Well, so what's the problem?
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Speaker 3: Because you're saying, you know, tell us about the van
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Speaker 3: and the sign, explain the sign, and it makes it
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Speaker 3: sound like they're just a bunch of punks.
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Speaker 2: He's getting upset. Jay, calm down, will you please? What?
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Speaker 2: Calm down. Okay.
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Speaker 3: Okay. I had to get control of my voice. What's
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Speaker 3: going on, Mr. Henry, is the following. We have a
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Speaker 3: brand-new magnetized sign that we put on the side of
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Speaker 3: our CES's auxiliary police patrol van, of which we have
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Speaker 3: two this week. We're borrowing the Gleason's, and we're borrowing
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Speaker 3: the van, actually our van, the Santos van, because my
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Speaker 3: wife's not using it, and Gleason's wife isn't using theirs.
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Speaker 3: But she wants it back in two days, so we'll
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Speaker 3: have to go over and, I don't know, we'll have
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Speaker 3: to punt. But anyway... Uh, the thing of it is.
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Speaker 2: Why don't you guys just buy a van?
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Speaker 3: I'm sorry?
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Speaker 2: Why don't you guys buy a van for the Citizens'
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Speaker 2: Auxiliary Police?
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Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, we could. It's a thought. I don't know.
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Speaker 3: I mean, buy a van. Here's the thing. I don't
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Speaker 3: make all the money in the world, and Citizens' Auxiliary
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Speaker 3: Police is about... Hold on a minute. Here we go. Yeah,
5:23
Speaker 3: here we go is right. Go. Got two there, three. 23-3.
5:28
Speaker 3: Let me hear the button. Monkey time, monkey time. I'm monkey.
5:36
Speaker 3: This is King Monkey. Over. I said monkey time, monkey time.
5:42
Speaker 3: I'm monkey. This is King Monkey.
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Speaker 1: Over.
5:45
Speaker 3: I don't give a fuck. I'm sorry, fellas.
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Speaker 2: Watch your language if you don't mind. Every time you're
5:49
Speaker 2: on your, you know, radio, you're swearing into it.
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Speaker 3: I apologize. I apologize. It was somebody having some fun.
5:57
Speaker 3: Some of the people that hear the commercials that we do,
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Speaker 3: and as I told you, they get on their, you know,
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Speaker 3: Wi-Fi or they get on their two-ways, their police two-ways,
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Speaker 3: and they call us. They go, yeah, we got an emergency.
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Speaker 3: And next thing you know, they're going, bababooey, bababooey, some
6:11
Speaker 3: stupid stuff. So anyway, Phil, to answer your question, yes,
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Speaker 3: we do have two vans. We have magnetized signs that
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Speaker 3: at present time, at this time, and in this place.
6:20
Speaker 3: I'm trying to get my shirt off right now. Hold
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Speaker 3: on for a minute. At this time... And in this place,
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Speaker 3: say armed response. Okay.
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Speaker 1: That's what we want to ask you about. You guys
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Speaker 1: are saying that your response to any emergency is armed.
6:34
Speaker 3: That's correct, yes.
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Speaker 2: Okay. So you're now armed.
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Speaker 3: We have a sign that says armed response.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, but that means you're armed. Doesn't that mean that
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Speaker 2: you carry weapons?
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Speaker 3: Let me say this. Because it's pretty easy to explain.
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Speaker 2: Don't explain anything. Do you guys go out carrying guns?
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Speaker 3: As far as the people who see that sign, yes,
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Speaker 3: we do.
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Speaker 2: Okay, so the way you're hedging right now, it makes
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Speaker 2: me think, no, you don't.
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Speaker 3: All right, believe what you want.
7:06
Speaker 2: Believe what we want, and then what's going to happen?
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Speaker 2: Somebody's going to turn up dead?
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Speaker 3: I'm telling you that we are an armed response unit. Okay,
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Speaker 3: according to the Constitution of the United States of America...
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Speaker 3: We have a third, fourth, sixth, it's the Second Amendment
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Speaker 3: right to bear arms and to bear arms. And so
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Speaker 3: if anybody wants to mess with me or any swinging
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Speaker 3: you-know-what in citizens, officers, or police, come get some.
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Speaker 2: Jay, I'm going to ask you one more time. It's
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Speaker 2: not a hard question. It says armed response.
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Speaker 3: All right, Phil, what do you think it means? Okay,
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Speaker 3: armed response is armed response.
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Speaker 1: All right, so it's an obvious follow-up question.
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Speaker 2: Are you indeed armed when you go out?
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Speaker 3: What does it say?
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Speaker 2: All right, so you do have guns. You do have guns.
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Speaker 3: What's it say?
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Speaker 2: It says armed response, man, but, you know, that could
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Speaker 2: mean slingshots.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, no kidding. Phil, or excuse me, Mr. Henry, that's
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Speaker 3: an insult. That's an insult to any swinging you-know-what what
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Speaker 3: is put on the badge of law enforcement to say, yeah,
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Speaker 3: we're armed, it's armed response, we got slingshots. That is
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Speaker 3: such an insult. You should apologize to every police officer
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Speaker 3: listening right now.
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Speaker 2: Look it, look it.
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Speaker 1: All right, I'm sorry, guys. I did not mean to
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Speaker 1: say that, you know, you guys are nothing but a
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Speaker 1: bunch of slingshot clowns. But if they're worried, if criminals
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Speaker 1: are worried about your unit in particular, the citizens' auxiliary police,
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Speaker 1: being an armed response unit, does.
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Speaker 2: It really, do you really believe that they're worried about
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Speaker 2: you guys?
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Speaker 3: I want to tell you something right now, Mr. Henry.
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Speaker 3: If they're not worried, they ought to be. Okay. Because
8:41
Speaker 3: I bring the pain twice on Sunday. And you don't
8:43
Speaker 3: even ask for seconds. And I tell you what, when
8:46
Speaker 3: I bring the pain, you ask to see the chef,
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Speaker 3: and you want to compliment him when I bring the pain.
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Speaker 2: When you bring the pain, the guy you just beat up?
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Speaker 3: Who's ever the recipient of that pain, they ask to
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Speaker 3: see the chef.
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Speaker 1: They ask to see the chef because that's how good
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Speaker 1: the pain was.
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Speaker 3: That's right.
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Speaker 2: Well, all right, Jay, you haven't said anything. Jay, you've
9:08
Speaker 2: sat here and obfuscated here over the last few minutes.
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Speaker 2: When we ask you, do you carry guns, you don't
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Speaker 2: want to answer. That's because you don't carry guns.
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Speaker 3: You don't know that for a fact.
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Speaker 1: Hey, because you won't answer in the affirmative, I'm saying
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Speaker 1: you don't carry guns.
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Speaker 3: Right, great. Say whatever you want. Say whatever you want.
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Speaker 3: You know, the bad guy, it's going to be a
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Speaker 3: bad guy. He's going to come on our radar not
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Speaker 3: too far from now. And we're going to waste somebody,
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Speaker 3: and all you're going to see is just some guy
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Speaker 3: lying in the street with a pool of blood under him.
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Speaker 3: And then underneath, he's going to say, citizens, solitary police.
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Speaker 3: Gets it done.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, Jay. Whatever you say, you get it done.
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Speaker 3: Well, I mean, I asked you to bring up examples
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Speaker 3: or whatever of other cops.
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Speaker 2: I don't think it's other cops. You call yourself an
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Speaker 2: armed response unit.
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Speaker 1: See, the thing, Jay, is when you say armed response,
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Speaker 1: people may call you thinking they're going to be safe.
10:00
Speaker 1: thinking you're going to show up with weapons.
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Speaker 2: And if you don't, you know.
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Speaker 3: So you do have weapons. Why won't you answer the
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Speaker 3: question directly?
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Speaker 2: You know what, Jay? You don't have arms.
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Speaker 1: You're not carrying any arms. None of you guys know
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Speaker 1: how to shoot. None of you guys know anything about combat.
10:19
Speaker 1: None of you guys know.
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Speaker 2: Anything about anything. You can't carry a knife, nothing. You
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Speaker 2: guys are full of crap. What do you think of that?
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Speaker 3: Armed response.
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Speaker 2: Okay, Jay.
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Speaker 1: I'll tell you what. If something happens tonight at my house,
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Speaker 1: I'm calling you. You better show up with guns.
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Speaker 2: Let me guess. Armed response?
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Speaker 3: Armed response. Shit.
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Speaker 2: Fuck off.
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Speaker 1: The world-famous Phil Hendry Show is executive produced by Phil
10:49
Speaker 2: On iHeart Podcast.