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My Friends Disappeared When I Needed Them The Most · Blind But Now I See

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Back at it for another episode of the Blonde Byna
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: See Show. This is not a disabled podcast, even though
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: you got two disabled superheroes and the number one producer
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: in New York City. I am your host, f obc
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: oh ship, I am your host. You know, blond stuff. Well,
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: if you gotta give you grace, man, I still gotta
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: get out these clubs. I'm your host. See the Fishery
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Blonde Stuff or the voice of the disableds Blonde Poppy
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: of you nasty Rachel.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: I don't want to go away.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: They don't. It keeps hunting me. You feel me. And
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: I'm here with hot fact papp don't.
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: Here with a k A frenchy aka French Minaj. I'm
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: thest and We're here to give you another amazing episode.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna see a lot more. And this is not
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: a disabled podcast, even though you see two disabled people.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: It's not.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: We gotta step up our wardrobe, bro, she came through
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: and our shine's pretty pretty pretty.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: Severely pretty bullying on a budget, you know, down the street.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: I just do something, not just do something on me too.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I just do something, and I'm like, let me go.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I just threw my bucket on and.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: It's a good look. It's a good look.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: I know this.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: This is my time.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: You want the bucket?
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I love a good bucket. Half Thought in the Way.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: And wolf tailor from the halfway. Your podcast, I'm in here,
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: what's up y'all? Ain't like you motivate me? Your podcast
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: motivate me.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: You'd be saying that, and I'll be like.
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: Both motivates everybody. I just see him and then you
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: can wake up and listen to his because.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Like motivational video, you should do one every day. You
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: motivate people. I'm trying because I'll be on TikTok scrolling
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: and my mind just be like wandering somewhere. You just
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: drop something about relationships.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: And no, he always says, like one thing, I realized
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: you always say the right thing, like it's like it's
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: crazy and you just hear it and you're like, wow,
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: I needed to hear that.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: That's my goal too.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: I need to ship because people try to. I feel
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: like everybody is trying to do something and you're genuinely
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: being you, So I'm trying to.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: It's a slow grind being yourself sometimes, but it's worth it.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: You gotta keep it. That's why I tell everybody I
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: can't change who I am to you know, for everybody's appetite,
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: Like it's either you can do me all the way
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: or the blessings better yourself.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: The blessings are better. It might be slower, but once
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: you get there, it's like you see how I'm rocking though.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Ain't and I'm I'm a person that really give people
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: their flowers. You already breath of fresh air. When it
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: comes to motivation, sometimes like I can't find motivation, but
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: then I scroll on TikTok and see one of your videos.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: I appreciate that.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: I said that said, no, this ship give me motivation
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: to get up, like one of them even resonated. I'm like, damn,
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: this is the minute predicament. I gotta I gotta leave
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: my past as my past, like it's my past for
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: a reason. I said, Nah, Wolf is the truth.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: Man.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: You be speaking that ship like God put people in
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: your life for a reason. She's speaking that ship. And
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: then when I want to be on my bullshit rank
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: and ship, go to you go to Frenchy Pigs when
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: she be a love talking her ship, drinking ahead and
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: see the best of the Worldsium.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: And what is your sign. Oh yeah, we're ear signs.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: We all go together.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: We balance each other's Gemini's and the cs. We're all
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: ear signs like like like.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: Them everywhere when Earth fire up.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: But the thing where air signs. We're compatible with everyone.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: I feel like because I feel like I feel like
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: I could be with a be around fire, I could
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: be around water, and I could be around earth.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: And I'm talking.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: About we're not We're not. It's either we're literally like
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: good or great. Okay, there's nothing else between. And if
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: you piss us off, then that's the only thing you're
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: gonna get.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: We mirror you.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: But the only thing is when we mirror you, we're
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: gonna be more enhanced. And you're gonna be confused because
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: we're the nicest people ever. We could be the or
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: we could be the nastiest, and that's what people confuse it.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: But you're gonna get what you.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: Probably deserves.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: It's like she in and out with my life, in
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: and out.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: She knows, she knows what to do.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: She said, we be compatible with each other, but she
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: said we too compatible. One of us gonna break each
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: other hearts.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: How does it make sense you're too compatible? Y'all should
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: be too healthy.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: They just toxic.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just be honest.
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: She's we can marry you, So whatever you get, we're
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: going to give you.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: We like the same ship. So it's like, nah, I
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: can't fuck with you. It's too perfect. We just alike.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: So how does that? How does that really work? So y'all,
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: y'all like that she's perfect for you because y'are both
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: equally toxic. So then what does that? Does that like
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: equal out to me in a great relationship? Then perfect?
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: Then what's the problem she's of us going cheat.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: On each other?
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: I feel like I'm at the age where toxic isn't
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: cool anymore. I don't I can't do time.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I grew up and she said she grew up. But
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: that pasted their hometos though I've been doing since high school.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: You've been with her since you've been since life grade.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: Maybe y'all should stop.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: Maybe y'all should call it or call it or not.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: It's nice, it's nice nice. I mean, you got you
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: got like almost like a ten year situation ship over.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: In high school, like seventeen years.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: That's a you know what, low key y'all deserve a
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: medal for that. That deserve a trophy, because that's that's
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: the longest time to be committed to a.
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: Situation, a situation. But why is everybody normalizing situationships?
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: He stays, because everybody's cool. We're being toxic.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: But is it because do you think it's because like
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: our elders, like they stayed and they tolerated a lot.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: So our generation is just like, no, fuck that, I'm
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: not tolerating nothing, and I'd rather just do what I
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: want to do.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: I don't think I don't think it's that.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: I don't think that.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: I just think we ain't shuit and we just get it.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: You hit it on the head.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: You know. A lot of my parents told us what
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: not to do. We did it anyway. We haven't our fun,
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: we haven't our way with this ship. Too much fun,
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: too much fun.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's too much funny talk together.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: And it's like I'm out. I'm out the game.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: I want to be out the game too.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: I'm out the game.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: I may love no toxic ship. It's hard to love.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: It's not hard. You just gotta you gotta be willing
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: to give what you want from someone else. And I
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: feel like that's the thing when you people say, like, oh,
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: we shouldn't expect anything from anyone. No, I expect what
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: I give. I don't give what anybody's talking about. If
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: you're my partner, if you're my friend, if you're my relative,
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: I expect ship from you and you're gonna do it.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: If you can't, then you're not gonna be in my life.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: That that's not because people always people what do you find?
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: You don't look for it exactly, You literally don't look
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: for it comes to you like it literally comes to you,
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: and you know when you meet that person, you know.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: But people don't believe in longevity no more. I feel
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: like people will mess up a good situation just from
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: all the thoughts in their head. So it's like you're
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: having all these inner thoughts like this person. You see
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: how you said, oh we scared, we mind shewing each other?
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: Y'all don't even know if y'all would. Y'all just putting
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: that doubt out there. And when you put that energy
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: out there, that's what you're gonna give back when you're manifested.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: But how about we manifest positivity? How about we manifest
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: good healthy relationships? How about we manifest like happiness? People
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: don't believe in that shit no more because I believe
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: in that shit. When she fixed your life, listen, I
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: took I did a lot, I did a lot of
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: I did a lot of work on myself these last
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: couple of years. On Tuesday, it makes a year that
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: I've been celibate, you know what I'm saying. So I've
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: literally I've never in my life after that. No, seriously,
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: I've never in my life. I've I have not been
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: a version in a long time, and I never thought
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: I could do it. But you see how many bonds
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: are made just off of lust, you know what I'm saying.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: And when you have to take that lust away, then
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: you have to really see love. You have to really
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: do the work. And it's hard. It's not easy, you
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. Because it's like when you depend
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: it on something. I was dependent on sexual relations, you
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: know what I'm saying, Like, that's what my body was
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: used to, That's what I was accustomed to, That's what
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: I was used to. That's how you make up, that's
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: how you deal with a problem. This is what you
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: do when you're you're mad, That's what you do when
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: you're happy. That's what you're doing when you're drawing. This
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: is what you do when you're talking. This is what
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: you do.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: Confused.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then that's when you build these these bonds,
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: these trauma bonds, these bonds that aren't realistic and stuff
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: like that, because it might be a good sex but
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: a bad relationship.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: So it's like, now you're creating these fucking issues.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: I feel bad. I look, this is what happened, right,
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: I'm keeping around right like like anybody not looking at
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: it the word not looking at it right? Boom, all right.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: He always put himself.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: I like you right, working with each other. It just
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: felt so good. She came over like, Yo, let's make
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: this official. The Gemini. Yeah, I got a baby do
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: next week?
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: This was what this was fourteen years ago. Wow, so
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: you did that? You were with it?
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: I said, yeah, I got a baby do next week.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: She said, you lying?
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: So you was cheating on your baby mother. You were cheating.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: He was in and out. You and your baby mother too,
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: not not me and my baby me and Hume.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: No, but I'm saying you was cheating on your baby
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: mother if you was having a baby doing she can't.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: Let's get into it, into it, we go and dig
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: into it because I heard stories about you catching your
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: baby mama cheat, but let's talk about how you cheated.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: So you saying, y'all was in and out, but you
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: and your baby mother was on and off. While y'all
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: was in and.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: Out, me and my baby mother was together, me and
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: her one on our break. That's why I said, we
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: always in and out. Right. So she came back at
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: a time when my baby, my baby and my baby
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: mother was.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: So y'all was out for nine months.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: This is how me and her head.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: That's how crazy it is, right, type of thing.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: So she always when she came back, she'd, yeah, I
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: think it's I haven't found nobody that's like you, baby.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: We need to try it. I said, I got a
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: baby do next week. She said. I said, no, I'm not.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: She said, you dead ass. Puh My show her the invitation.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: She started, So she looked at me. She's like, wow,
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: the boom eye star water, and I'm like, what the fuck? Damn?
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: She boom, She left, bought me a gift and everything
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: from my baby, shower and everything. Right, she puts you again, yeah,
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: so boom. After that, we still be rocking with each other, right,
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: what's rocking? We're doing the du after like months later, this.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: Is why you and your baby mother, I just want
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: to be that's while you and your baby mother was done.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah right, so now be rocking boom. So she she
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: gets she disappeared for her little much. I get shot.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: She comes to the hospital.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: Nah, she she hitting everybody up?
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: What hospital?
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: He in?
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: This? That? And the third she comes, I'm on the respira.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: She's coming over to the respirato bo. When I come
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: home from the hospital, she comes to the house, she
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: jumps on me. Be rocking. She calls me, yo, maybe
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: we should try this.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: Relationship, even after the baby, even after.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: Even after the blind Yo.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Yo, I love her.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, I'm in a relationship. She said, what damn?
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: And then she married somebody for I ain't gonna visit,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: you know, yeah, God bless American, no place ouse. So
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, all right, cool, it didn't work. I'm like,
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: all right, now I'm free from everything. Now I hit
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: her up talking. She says, I'm pregnant. I said, yeah,
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: I said, I know what this is.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: You keep missing each other.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: Yo.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: She's pregnant by the niggas she married.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: So now I'm like you she said, no, it really is.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what the fuck? So that I'm like, damn,
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: I know how she felt because I'm feeling in that.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, cool, all right, you know how
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: you how your your son? Now, her son was born
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: two days before I got shot. Mm hmm, so I'm like,
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: you know how your son doing? Were talking be ribing all?
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: She just now we just talk and the energy just
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: feel unmatched because we were dealing with each other with
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: your teenagers.
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: Could it be that the energy is unmatched because both
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: of you knew it's something that you could not have.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: I don't know what it is.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: That's because no, that's literally a toxic thing. You want
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: them more when you can. That's that's why it feels like,
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: oh no, I need it now because you have the baby,
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: I have the baby.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: We go together. Yeah. So now we're older now, right
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: in our thirties. Now we're talking and then our conversations
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: is like you don't I don't want to hang up
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: the phone.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: It just felt so good now we're older that we
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: know what we want. We talking like were on some
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: grown streak.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: She come to my birthday party and it's like the
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: butterflies just came.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: Birthday party.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, she came. That'shi boom. She dancing dancing together
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: people like damn s no, like you wanted like a
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: sticker like damn s no. Because when she came in
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: one of the home we tried to talk to her,
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: she said, nah, no, I'm here for somebody. So when
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: he came back there to me, he like, yo, bro,
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: you gotta go. I try to talk to her. She
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: dubbed my ship. So we started laughing. But the whole night,
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: I'm coffing holding it and all that. She dips.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: I had that deal with money.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Now next month it was just vanish vanish, like he
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: was hitting her up.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: Like she went back to like disappearing again.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: So I got a question, do you feel like it
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: hits harder with her because you actually remember what she
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: looks like? Is that ever like a thing like you
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: actually can you because you know what she looks like?
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: I know she does.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: Does it feel better with somebody.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: Out of all my relationships? I had fun with her,
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: like we had fun, like actual fun, and I ain't
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: talk about just sex like she's somebody that like she's
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: wanted a home, like I could talk to her about anything.
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: It sounds like you need to be sleeping each other.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: We can have fun.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: But it's like yo, it's like one of those chemistry.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you feel me like yo.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: She was like, you don't get there.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: She had a call away before I did. She usually
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: be like, I know you're gonna fuck with you, fuck
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: with the females. Just make sure that bit's on. Need
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: nothing in my car.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: Gangster like that. That's different ship.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: She was gangster like me. He wasn't together, so she
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: used to always say, it's not mine, you feel me.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: She's always saying, you mind what I respected. And it's
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: times like when she had niggas and they pulled up whatever,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: she would give me a hug. I'm like, he's looking
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: at us. I'm like, I got you. I'm chilling.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: It's just I don't know what. So what's stopping y'all
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: from giving us an actual shot?
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: You need to propose to her?
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: What stop you from giving it the actual shot?
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: She said she's skied herself being hurt.
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she said herself. Are you scared of yourself? Y'all
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: too much of light? So they scared of getting hurt?
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Me Like, let me tell you, I don't got me.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: We don't got to talk for months, right, I taxed
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: out the BLO I love you. She takes me bigger.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: I love you too, Chris, and that would be that different.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: So she's scared of what happening because she she looking
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: at me as from high school days, like I'm a dog.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: Maybe she don't want to ruin the bomb because maybe
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: the passion is just in the fact that they two
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: people that can't have each other but one each other.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: I'm a dog, a dog, ye'all get together, You're gonna
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: end up paying each other.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: That's possible, but that but that I feel like sometimes
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: chemistry just unmatches.
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: It could be your twin flame.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: Yo. We laughed together.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: It's not easy to find that, bro.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: Yo, it's not you feel me laugh together. We joke together.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: We played together, like we did it all of this,
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: so it's like we never took me and I never
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: had an argument.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: At the same time, do you think that you deserve
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: better though better than better than her?
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: We're grown now, so it's like that we used to
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: do before, we don't do now.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: But I'm saying, like, do you think you deserve better
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: than her?
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: Ass Nick of that? Come on, sugger, come on, he
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: she needs better, he's not ship.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: I'm not that.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: I'm that I'm not right where you need her to be.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: Then ask that girl.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: Mature so they're like in their mid thirties.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: I'll be thirty five next month.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: So that's your peak. Great that you need to get it.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: A lot I've been. I've been mature when I hit
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: like thirty thirty one.
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: You're a grown ass young man.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't want what I wanted before.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: So what do you want now? What are you looking
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: for a woman? Let's put that out there.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: What I'm looking for a woman. I'm looking for peace, okay,
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: I'm looking for a friendship. I want us to be
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: best friends. We could talk about anything to each other.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: I'm looking for a safe space, like I need her
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: to be my safe space. I'm looking for happy joy
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: like looking for a best friend, my best friend, but
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: we have to be best friends before me.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: I feel like people forget that part in the relationship.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: They figure I don't all serious ship like I hate
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: from relationships that it just be like we just hey,
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: get up, you kiss.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: I'm looking for you, spend the whole day avoiding them
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: when you get home, and then you.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: Know, play for your house. We're gonna throw when you sleep,
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna throw water.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: That's joke. I want that same time. I want to
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: hold you at night.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. Like the chemistry that you're talking
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: about with you don't get that with it, You really don't.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: It's like, and that's not a bad thing either, just
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: too serious for me to be too.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: Serious for me.
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: Serious you mean you want something serious, you don't want
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: it to be taken. So, yeah, that's boring.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: It's just like we just here.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: Like, come on, that just means you with a boring person.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot of people like that. Like the relationships
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: ain't people no, like know what it is.
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: And then it's like because people get complacent in their
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: relationships and then they just get so used to the person.
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: It's like you don't have to do anything to please
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: them anymore. I already got you, And that's what makes
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: you got to keep trying to get that person each day, Like,
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: no matter how long you've been with them, you got
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: to keep trying to make them fall in love with you.
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: I feel like that's the thing I say, some sweet
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: ship every day in my MANETs to be a little
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: so still a real Niga.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: Though, all right, but you know what we're talking about,
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: because we spent enough on me. I told you too much.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: We were telling about friendship.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: Relations with your friend. I didn't deny about it.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: No, I don't know what it is, right because all
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: my friends makes good relationships.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: All your friends would make good relations.
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: B he's a dalan friends very much.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: I dealt with a million girls of my life, right.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: I slept with probably two million girls in my life, right, okay,
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: two million, two million?
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: But how many times you had a class?
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: I told me some ship?
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: I never got hit.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: Oh, I told me some ship one time. I still
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: think he's lying. We was in the uber. You told
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: me it was about a summer.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I went crazy on unred girls went crazy
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: something no class.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: I don't believe. And I can refer to watch on
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: this episode.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: I don't believe.
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: See, if you count the whole summer, it's like ninety
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: it's about one hundred days, and you hit a bitch
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: every day.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: Two girls girls, those three girls a roll to some time.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: And this is while you're blind about saying, maybe you
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: the same girl.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: I mean tell you no bad right, it was time
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: I did.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: And that came out like, oh my god, she hit
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: me with something. Doctor like, yo, you got to drink
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: gator raade ready, but you.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: Hydrated because when you're just drinking and drinking and.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: Ship then came out with your I'm like your she
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: gave me. I'm like no, but it felt like you
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: were really nothing. But now you're coming out. You did
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: get here with something. I don't know. He don know
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: waters he don't know. I didn't get here, but I
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: thought I did because I'm like, yo, I never because
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: you ran out. I never because she was everlasting. You
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: hear me. You thought it was ever last. Last were
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: the teenagers. We were teenagers. I'm just rolling and I'm
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: dropping and rolling, dropping and rolling.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: You're alive, Bro, You're alive. It's no, It's just no
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: fucking way.
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: It is a way. It's a lot of guys that
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: are hundred.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: Niggas in a summer, summers three months.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: I'm that nigga. I'm telling you, TikTok no, I'm not Twitter,
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: my Space, my Space.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: How many of these women do you know personally?
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: Didn't personally to be honest, and this is before you got.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: Blind, I'm calling cat, Bro, I'm sorry.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: I'm driving.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: If you hit this comment. If you hit this, we
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: need to get in.
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: The show called Card and then we're gonna get into
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: the friends. We need to get speaking of French, and
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: he have to call his lione ass friend right now
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: because the ain't no way a nigga hundred girls in
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: the summer.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you, I was a rolling stone nigga.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: You gotta be yo.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: What's the word cause Yocardo? Yeah, I'm live on my
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: podcast right yeah, yeah, they can hung out called on speaking,
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: you can hung up so quick the nigga.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: The nigga work in the whaitehouse. That's what they all say.
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: He probably a little service well either way, other people
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: be called either way. You didn't got you you, I say,
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: I think it's possible.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean. You're a guy, you everything,
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: and it don't that don't move me no more, though,
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: definitely don't.
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: Sex is not better than love. It's only better when
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: you have being sex with the person you love.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: Enjoy I enjoy sex.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: You have to be you have to be in love.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: That's where I'm at and that's why it's so easy
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: for me to be celebrated.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: Can you say that again and then go into why
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: you feel that way sex is better than love, and
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: go right into it.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: Sex ain't better than love unless it's the person that
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: you love you're having sex with. And the reason I
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: feel that way is because at this age now, because
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: I've had platonic sex before, but now at this big
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: girl age, it's like, I have to be comfortable with you,
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: because sex gets better than more comfortable.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: You are with a person. You know what I mean.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: It's more intimate, and intimacy is not just touching. It's
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: a mental thing. It's an emotion thing. It's emotional things.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: So if I see you're taking care of me, if
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: I see you're taking care of my mind, if I
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: see you're taking care of my heart, if I see
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: you taking care of my soul. When we have that
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: sexual connection, we're gonna we're gonna open up and wagna,
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: it's gonna go so crazy as opposed to all right,
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: I like you the sexist cool. We could have nasty.
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: You can have nasty sex with somebody you don't really
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: care about, but it's just at the end, you just
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: feel dirty. You want them to get the fuck up
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: off of you. But the person you in love with.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: You want to sit there, you want to lay, you
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: want to cuddle, you want to talk, and you can
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: still talk about them again. And that's why it's just
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: like I said, at this age, because everybody, I just
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: see so many people going around just having sex and
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: sex and sex, and can they getting these spiritually because
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: everybody just worries about STDs, but there's spiritually transmitted demons,
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. So now everybody is just
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: laying with. Everybody in there, everybody is broken. So now
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: you're laying with this person that done had a heartbreak
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: from this person, and now that person's heartbroken.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: Now you're trying.
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: Now you're depressed this person and it's broken. Now you're
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: getting broke. This person lacks ambition. Now you have no ambition,
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: and you're just wondering, like, what's wrong with me? Why
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: am I feeling this way? It's the person you laid
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: with in the thirty other people that they laying with,
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: So now that's something that you had a sex with.
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: One hundred girls, all of them girls, no shade, you
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. All them girls is feeling different
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: emotions and different feelings and they don't know because they're
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: fucking a stranger.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: I know for sure. No life is girls I had sex.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: With that I don't know anything.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: I don't remember their names.
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: And that's something that that's something that we need to
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: work on literally as people, because if sex was made
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: for us to do it so freely, it would be
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: no STDs. God would have never created that. That's why
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: STDs are there to put in place like Okay, you
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: should not be this person.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: STDs and like the emotional responsibility that come with it,
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: like sex will get you fucked involved with some people
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: in an emotional way.
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: That's like people kill themselves. Yeah, people kill themselves over
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: the people that they have sex with. People are people
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: get so emotionally it's connected, they'll give all their money.
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: You think tricks is a funny thing. These are people
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: that are so tied to sex that they're willing to.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Go broke for livelihood.
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: The people that the people that got somebody that they're
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: in love with allegedly because I don't believe you could
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: be in love and want to cheat. You know what
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: I'm saying, because I my definition is in love. Because
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: I'm in love with my man. I would never want
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: him to hurt so I think about his emotions more
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: than nothing about mom because my emotions are tied to
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: his and his are tied to mind. So in order
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: for me to say I love him and I'm in
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: love with him, I have to be intertwined with his emotions.
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: And because now I'm giving somebody else my my body,
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: my spirit, my energy, you know what I'm saying. And
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: that's not fair because then what am I going to
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: give to him?
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: What makes it special? You can love someone.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: In love with him. That's different in love.
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: Okay, So what's what's your definition of being in love?
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: I think being in love is being like drunk, and
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: it's it's drunk for all the right reasons, you know
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: what I mean. It's like you like you like overflowing
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: with your connection with that person, Like you can't see
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: nothing else but them, you know what I mean. You
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: got abundance of patience, abundance of understanding. You'll go one
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: hundred miles to get the job done for them, you
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: know I mean. That's like being in love is like
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: the healthy version of obsession, you know what I mean,
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: You have a healthy obsession with your person because y'all
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: locked in with the integrity with you're just locked in,
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean? So when you're in love
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: with them, it's like nigga, I wouldn't, I would never
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: do anything. Version of obsession, the healthy version of obsession.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: Clip that the healthy version of fucking obsession.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: That's true.
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: And what you think? What's your this asshole.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: Immediately right look you bother?
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: You got that smirk on his fucking face. What's your
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: definition of in love? Oh my god, do you even
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: have one? Take the time you want me to come
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: back to you want me to go first, or you
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: want to go?
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: Definition of love is like.
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: Make up a lie.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: I can'tnot. I can't make up a lot. I've been
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: in love.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: So how did you feel feelings?
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: I was head over hells with this person. I give
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: the person my shirt off my back, I give the
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: person my life. I was head over heels with this
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: person probably still list like. It was never a no,
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: it was like one of those I just always wanted
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: to see this person happy, even if it costs me everything,
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: like yeah, me being down, I wanted to see this
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: person happy. It's like I wanted this person to win
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: before I even thinking about me winning. Like I was
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: head over heels it's like, if I can make this
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: personal life easier, I felt my life was easy.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, guys, he has a heart.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: I really do.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: If I if I'm in love with you, trust hi
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: believe it's not in this world you gotta wear.
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: So your definition of in love is just going above
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: and beyond for.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: Someone and not thinking, I'm not gonna think twice. I'm
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: gonna make you happy. I'm taking up slack that I
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: see you slacking in open you in areas that you're
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: not going to ask me. I'm gonna be there for you.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: You ain't never you never got a question me.
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love you. I love you.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: I'm locked into you with like I'm loyal. Like back
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: in the days, I didn't know what love is. So
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: it's like I treated my niggas way better than I
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: treat my women.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Oh and you know where a lot of niggas like
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: real shit.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: It's like I'm lower to tell my niggas, but I'm
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: not loyal.
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: We're going to get into that though, because that's a
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: whole another that's a whole another topic.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: Yo.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: It's bad because it's like I'm lying to my woman,
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: but I'm not lying to my niggas.
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: Because it's because that's the thing. It's so with I'm
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: gonna give my definition then we could get right into that.
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: My definition of in love is just it was a
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: quote from Suicide Squad and it was like don't because
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: she was like, I'll die for you. Harley Quinn said
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: it to the Joker and he was like, don't die
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: for me. That's too easy. I need you to live
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: for me, you know what I'm saying. So you literally
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: live for that person. You wake up, the first person
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: you're thinking about before you go to sleep, the last
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: person you think about. You're praying for that person, you're
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: breathing for that person. You want this person to win.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: You want to win with this person, and you're picturing
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: your life and everything with them, and you're willing to
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: put your life on hold just so there's you know
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: what I'm saying, But healthy love, you don't have to
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: do that because y're both going to go together and
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: you're both going to pour into each other, you know.
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: So I do understand what in love is. And I
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: thought I was in love before, but I realized I
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: just high love for people. Now that I am truly
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: in love, I realize that it's much deeper than that is.
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: Being in love is a sacrifice. It is, and it's
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: a healthy sacrifice. Like you said, it's a healthy obsession.
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: I'm obsessed with this person and I just want to
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: win in all bouts of life. But as far as
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: what you were saying with the loyalty with your niggas,
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: and I feel like that's why a lot of relationships.
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: Guys fail in their relationships because their females, their women
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: will be accent for the loyalty that you're giving. You
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: know what I mean, your friend, and it's just like
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: you look, you're complaining. Your bro will call you, Oh bro,
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: you man da da da dad your thousand something. You
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: could get cool, be happy da dada as soon as
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: your girlfriend this bitch. You know what I'm saying, Like no,
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: I'm talking about my love presas.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: Ship and I see help with y'all see ship.
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: But not like me.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: I jumped out the window for friends when they called
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: me before I.
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: Did my woman.
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: But your women would be to want to jump out
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: the women.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: She could play like damn, oh this nigga say he
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: need to see you this then and throw you upon
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: and you gone. But I just asked, you can you
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: just come and just lay with me? And I gotta
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: wait until you ready to do it.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm like, it's tough because it's a beautiful thing
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: when a guy has a bond with his homies, Like
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: that's your that's your chosen family, you know what I mean.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: But the problem is a lot of the time niggas
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: don't understand, like if you in jail, or you in
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: a rut, or you like, if you need assistance right now,
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: who's realistically who's the most likely to drop everything and
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: get to your girl? It's your girl, that woman, Like
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: if you get if you need to call somebody, like listen,
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: I need ten thousand dollars right now. Your homies don't
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: know how they gonna get it, and she don't know
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: how she's gonna get it. I'm gonna figure it out.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: I guarantee you she gonna figure it out first.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: You better put that woman first.
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: But that woman first. And this is why I tell
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: all my bros. I'd be like, it's bros before wholes,
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: not before your wife. You know what I'm saying. So
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: if you find somebody that you love, you treat them,
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: you treat them good, and you treat them with grace,
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: and at the end of the day, it's never like
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: a It is a hierarchy because when a man takes
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: on a wife, you know what I'm saying, Your wife
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: comes before everything because that's who you're building your family with,
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: over your mother, your father, all these people, because that's
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: your new family. The family that you create is more
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: important than the one you come from, because this is
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: something that you're nurturing, you're building, and you're growing, and
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: you can still love the family you come from, but
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: you have to pour more into the one that you're creating.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: And that's why a lot of relationships felt because niggas
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: be mama's boys, you know what I'm saying. Or it's
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: a lot of women. It's a lot of women that
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: got bitter moms and they in they hear about their
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: relationships and now I'm just taking you're just taking on
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: all this stuff, like, Okay, your mamma ain't never had
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: nobody love it right, So she said you be in
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: loved right now. She in a way, because it goes
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: it works both ways. Or you got somebody daddy, you
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: know what I mean. It could go either way, but
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: at the same time, it's just like, oh, no, you
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: could go. But like I said, at the same time,
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: it's just like we have to know as people what
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: we're willing to go and what we're willing to do
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: and what we're willing to sacrifice to be with someone,
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean. And we have to set
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: boundaries with our friends. We have to set boundaries with
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: our family members when it comes to our relationships. In
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: order to have a healthy relationships, you have to set
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: boundaries with the other people that you had relationships with,
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: whether that be friends, whether that be family, whether that
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: be coworkers, exes. You know what I'm saying. You have
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: to set healthy boundaries. You have to let them know
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: this is not something I'm willing to compromise and I'm
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: not gonna settle, you know what I mean. And because
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: the same way you're bro, you're bro. And that's why
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: they say a lot of people married people should hang
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: around married people, you know what I mean, Because you
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: got to hang around the people you want to be alike,
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: not the people that you used to be alike that
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: you used to be like, because you're just gonna stay
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: as far because he saying set it back. He said
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: you'll get as far as the motherfucker you talked to
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: for no reason. So now you're talking to a bunch
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: of single people while you're in a relationship. You come
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: to them and you've been in about you, you've been
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: in about your bitch, and now they putting on the
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: shit in your air and you're listening. You're like, damn,
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: this shit does start makes sense. None of these niggas
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: is happy answer answer he wanted. He wanted to try
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: the world.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: Put it next to that, yo, big big guys.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, I'm on the podcast live right, nigga. One summer,
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: we wasn't going crazy. How many women.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: It was?
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: It was it was like dun tea dun me and
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: you wasn't going crazy.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: This is not possible.
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: It was it was outside outside that was wow, some
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: wow young.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: Y'all was playing for Yeah, my producer, right, he said,
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: not having impossible. We wasn't going to fight Sunday walking
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: out with ship ya playing for was outside.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: That's why.
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: I could believe that y'all had one hundred. But I
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: can't believe you didn't catch the class.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: I just say that you said, wow, what that's what exactly?
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: But you fucked one hundred women in the summer. Yo,
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: we were crazy, so one hundred a piece.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: I won't say like I'm gonna be honest with you,
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: like say from like when start turning like like from
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: like springing like around eastern town.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: So like the end of the summer.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: Me and light went crazy, Me and no, Me and
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: dud went crazy, nasty.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: Hold on, so y'are both sucking one hundred girls a piece.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: He was in the room together with two girls time
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: sometimes crazy with viral with viral. What this is my
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: nigga on the corner, man, we're gonna take it. The
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: patrol was.
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: On the corner that they were telling it people.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna say all, I'm gonna say.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: We enjoyed that year was what club mooker sea breeze.
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: You have to have like thousand bodies. Yo. He was
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: breaking date breaking breaking day and Dick.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: And my my grandmother used to wake up and cooking
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: his breakfast.
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: With these viral wake the hose up.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: Never came to the date Wednesday they had.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: He was these toes were all along with this that
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: was outside calls claw you was hitting bitches outside in
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: the basement on the roof or basement.
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: This nigga sounds like Shaggy.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: It wasn't me yea God, I gonna call you when
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: we get up to the episode.
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: This nigga stomp and that's how you know you're reminisced
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: the he said that was that was the we talked
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: about that, ladies comment. We need to get at least
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: one hundred comments, if you know, aunt comments, if you
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: him just coming or you can you can d m us. No,
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: let's forget it. Let's get it. We gotta, we gotta,
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: we need proof. We're gonna do a poll so you
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: could be anonymous. We're just gonna put it under there.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: Robert, did you see that robber one in the chough.
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: You know I'm giving him if he gets to an
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: I'm giving him.
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: A last thing I want to say about the friendship
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: ship though, too. Niggas gotta be honest with themselves. We
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: we love our homies, especially because a lot of homies
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: we got like these sandbox stores with them and like that.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: That's really what it be about. It be nostalgia keeping
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: us together. But guys, a lot of our homies be
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: losers though.
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: The whole thing you're back once you girl at the
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: time needs be the same looking at your girl last
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: when you walking away. So many excess their friends is
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: in my d MS right now, and it's just crazy.
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: It's like, wow, did you always had to be looking
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: and thinking and these be the ones that give the
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: no she hole, bro.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: She just she does. She's a bitch.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: I died for my nigga, youre gonna die for your nigga.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: Hepre that should be. But as friends, though, we should
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: hold each other accountable.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: It's not enough of that. It's not people telling their
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: friends their dead beats.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: Now like when we was young, like me my son Carlo,
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: there was not because like a lot of like weepe
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: like we had courage on with each other. You feel
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: me like growing up they're like, yo, you gotta that
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: ain't he was running crazy in the hood now niggas,
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: but your I'm like, no, brother, that she ain't worth.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: It ain't worth it bro't worth.
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: People be so because it's the it's the cloud. I
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: feel like men men don't even enjoy sex how they
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: should because they just be so like boys. Not let
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: me not say men boys don't enjoy sex because they're
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: doing it for the cloud of other men. They want
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: to be able to have bragging points like Okay, there's
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: many girls and they talk about it with their homies.
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: They be with that girl for five minutes and be
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: with their homie all day. And I listened to my
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: brothers talk about it all day, and I'm like, damn likentes.
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: I'd be like, do you hate home? I'll be asking them.
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: I'm like, y'all really not happy because it's like, there's
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: no way you could just be so many women at
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: this age. When you were young, we're finding out who
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: you are, whatever case be, but at this big wrong age,
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: like I mights to be thirty, I must be in
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: the thirty in that club. So I don't feel like
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: anybody that. Yeah, I don't feel like anybody that I
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: know should be like just flabbergasting and hype up for sex,
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean? And with multiple like casual
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: sex and then when people become fathers, when the girl
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: keeping the baby, I don't know this, but enough to
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: fuck her though.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: That's what we got to hold each other account. Ain't
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: me growing up and like that people, I wasn't arounding
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: all that, And like we used to play the games.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: Girls used to be in there. We never paid them
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: no mind. Playing were talking to each other more than
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: we talking to them. Playing the games all time was all.
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: It's like I just realized it was disconnected.
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, we're talking a lot, so you feel me.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: So it's like we were playing the game and the
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: girls in there and we're not paying them no mind.
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: So it was like I was more into my niggas,
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: not Pauls no gay shit, than was really payingitenity these females. Yeah,
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: like and that yo, no life. It's crazy.
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: It's like we both outside, you're doing wrong. I ain't
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: gonna lie. His baby mother left, my baby mather left, but.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: Still outside with each other.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: Really, he's outside.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: He's like, yo, that's surely best. Fine, Like, nigga, you
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: can still dance, you can still dance with the girl.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: He like, now he gonna go back and tell my
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: baby mo, nigga, I slap that broke, go ahead. But
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: it's like I should have like, yeah, right, bro, But.
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: How could you not when every song is reinforcing in
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: your mind. Bros over holes.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: Bro, when you hit that jamaking shure, you see they
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: want to you start doing that.
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: But that's what they and that's what they put into
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: the black community. Everything get trickered down from the Willy
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: Lynch sterry, like these white people really work. Yeah, and
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: they really did it. They really learned how to break
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: up the black family and just keep it that way.
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: And now it's to the point where we do it
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: and we don't even see what's going on.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: And that's situated because we think it's culture. So we celebrated.
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: It's like this is just normal, the baby dad, baby
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: mom community. I never wanted that. I grew up in
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: the two far at home and both of my parents
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: got remarried, you know what I'm saying. They're with other people,
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: and they're still with those well my daddy not my daddy,
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: but you know, like you know, just being like my
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: parents were married. So I'm not a bastard, you know
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: what I'm saying. So it's like me and my brother,
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: we have the same parent. I don't know what it's
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: like to just sit there and have a bunch of
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: like broken homes, you know what I'm saying. So I
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: never wanted that from my child. But I also was
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: able to accept, like, all right, even if we don't
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: work out, like we still have a kid and we're
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: able to co parent and raise them. Not going to
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: comment on that situation, but I am blessed to have
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: someone that i'm with now that loves my son like
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: his own. And that's what it is. And that's why
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: I promise myself, like the next time I do have
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: a kid, I have to be married. I have to
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: have something, you know what I mean. I have to.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: I can't.
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: I can't demoralize myself just because I have my own goals.
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: And I'm not saying you're a bad person because some
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: people don't want to get married and stuff like that,
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: and that's okay. It's at the end of the day,
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: I still believe in marriage. I still believe in love.
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: I still believe in a healthy family and stuff like that.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: People get married to get married.
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: Because it's become so the word.
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like you said, like the Willy Land theories, like
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: people have been finessed. But I need people to understand
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: when you're going into your thirties or if you're in
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: your thirties, family is the way we keep scoring for
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: how you win it in life, no matter what that
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: everybody has a different version of family, especially in this generation.
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: But it's like it's only so many nights you can
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: go out and try to bag something. It's only so
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: many nights you can wait for somebody to come at
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: your spot. It's only so many nights you can sleep
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: with somebody, and then as soon as you get done,
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: you're like, okay, well where you going? You know, it's
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: only so many times you can do that. You know
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: that's bad.
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: You can't take that, and you can't take that ship
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: with you. You can't take all of the all the
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: material things, all the bodies that you accumulated in life.
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: Those half those people are not gonna be at your funeral.
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: Who matters is who would be at your bed side
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: if you got if you lost everything, if you got sick,
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: if you got injured. We both got injured and we
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: both disabled. So it's like we've I know what it
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: feels like people, I know what it feels like to
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: the certain people not to be there.
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: But just put value on people like you. You you gotta.
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: People are more important than money and stuff like that.
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: And nowadays our whole generation is so itemized and they
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: materialize and they only give a fuck about what the
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: next person has. Oh, I could fuck with him because
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: he has this, he has a car he has, he
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: has that he's the corniest motherfucker ever, so poor as ship.
• 41:16
  Speaker 3: And when you're fuck, you're gonna feel poors.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: You're gonna feel niggas too. It's not material possitions, with
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: possessions with gods, but it's like the body, the bb.
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: L that's the that's the possession and nothing. If you
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: want to get your body, then I'm not here the shame.
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: Women do what you want to shame nobody else for
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: what for not want.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: It's not about shaming them, but it's about the mentality of.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: A guy putting putting the value high value, high value
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: on a body.
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: Value woman is a woman that bought their body as
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: to someone that's about it.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: That so me personally, I prefer natural body. But I'm
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: not even saying that. I'm like placing the value on
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: a body versus the actual person.
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: And that's that's all these celebrities get fin us because
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: they're only looking at what.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: In this bitch.
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: You can tell she like money, she had to pay
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: for everything, and women look at their BBOs as investments,
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: which they are. You look good, you feel good. You
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: want somebody that's gonna be able to upkeep that life
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: style that you just provided for yourself because you feel like,
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: oh shit, I just invested in this in myself. Now
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: somebody that's investing me instead of sitting there wondering like, damn,
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: is this person really? Does this person really love me?
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: Does this person know they love what you can do
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: for them?
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: Let's start loving the inside not the outside.
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: A second ago, y'all was kind of alluding to like
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: y'all started realizing almost like kind of who was y'all
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: real friends? Like after y'all experiences and stuff like that,
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: And I think that's a perfect way to segue into friendship.
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and definitely the way I look at it, like
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: like thirteen, I've been rocking with people for years, like
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: over twenty years.
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: How long have you been blind?
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: Thirteen years? Right, thirteen years I've been blind. But I
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: started seeing a shift after I got shot of who
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: really my friends? Who really not my friends? Was the
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: ones when I got off the respirator, my son started school,
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: they took you, mm.
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: I'm like, y'all uniform and all that, and I'll.
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: Be paid for that shit, bro, Nigga, I'm said, nigga, I'm.
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: Sedated they paying for it.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: I'm like these are my real friends. My friend called
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: me and I put something up and they called me
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: and they listened to me like y. I never in
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: my life cried on the phone to a nigga until
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: I got shot. Those are my friends. Something is wrong.
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: They dropping everything, they running to me. It was going on, Bro,
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: talk to me like yo this time and the third
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: it's time friends call me They like yo.
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: Bro.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: Honestly, you may not wanna hear it. You might hang
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: up the phone. You might not talk to me in
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: a couple of days. But you act like a bitch
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: right now, bro. Mm and I got quiet. I'm like,
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: I I talk to y'alligas later I hang up the
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: bell ring They pulling up on me? Oo, Bro, what's
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: up with you?
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: Man?
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: You act like a female right now? Bro like and
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, like, these are my real niggas. But
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: then you got niggas that I got shot. I ain't
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: see it. I ain't hear from y'all no more.
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: That's crazy.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: I ain't hear from y'all. Ain't seeing that now when
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: I'm driving around, y'all, ain't my car be pushing me moving?
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: It's like I'm the hottest thing moving. Girls wanted to
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: be around us, and it's like, now I got shot,
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: I can't do the things I used to do.
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: Now y'all disappeared to you now that they can't get
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: nothing from you.
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: One time, I'm sitting up there, I'm with my girl,
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: be laying down her. One of the homies called on Facebook.
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: So I'm sitting there. She's like, oh this such and such.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: I'm like, the fuck he going to you for? He called?
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: He just talking, talking, talking, and I'm just in there
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: looking like I'm the fuck this nigga up.
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: Blonding off but you can't hear.
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she got on speaking son herd. She seeing him
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: saying hi. He said, oh ship tell my brother said
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: it's good. I talked to you later, hump up the phone. Like, nigga,
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: you're a bitch, nigga. I know what you did.
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: Nigga Like, I heard it all, Bro, take care of home.
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: Now that's the table and that's the rope.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: Man. I got shot. I seen it all.
• 44:53
  Speaker 3: It was crazy how you can lose your vision and
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: see better, yo, My no.
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: I got the best vision. The My visit came after
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: I got after I got shot, because I see what
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: I see. Who is who who is what? Like, I
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: would like move around probably like twenty niggas because you
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: stopped saying what started saying five niggas. That that's real
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: loyal to the bone with me, real lo, Like I
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: got a friend right now doing nineteen years in jail
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: on my podcast page. He's just liking my ship. He's
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: sharing and ship and this nigga in jazz that's.
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: It because this niggas free ain't doing none of that niggas.
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: Niggas will.
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: Come down to no cat is like real niggas. Like
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, kay, you shout up to my saying kay,
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: you support all my parties. I'm like, yo, He like,
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: I don't watch your podcast, Bro. I'm like why. He like,
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: I don't want to relive that moment. One day, I'm
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: in the crib he called me. He just crying and
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: I'm like, bro, what the fuck is that with you?
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: He like, Yo, and I just tried to listen to
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: your podcast, Bro. That shi it broke me down, he said, Yo. Bro,
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: he said, no, He's supposed to be bigger than what
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: you is.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: Bro.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: He said, part of that is because of me. I'm
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: like sharing your shit. I'm not telling you people. He said,
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: not the word. Need to hear what you're saying. I said, Okay,
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: I'm accountability. That's good, I said, Cam, I'm good, bro.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: He said, nah, nah, Bro, it's not supposed to be
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: like this, he said, I avoided this. I don't want
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: to relive this moment no more. Bro. I'm like damn,
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: and it's like he crying and all. I'm like, okay,
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: but I'm good, bro, he said, nah, I feel like
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: I could do more, I could do better. I'm like,
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: all right, then, I'm my son Ace. I'm like, yo,
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: I'm stressed. I gotta get my son from Harlem. I
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: don't know how I gonna do it, he said. I'm
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: even work to come get you.
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: Bro.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, these are my real friends, my son
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: that I just got the phone with my son Carlo.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: At one point, I'm like, damn, I got shy. He
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: disance myself, like nigga, we in the clubs.
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: What happened? He caught?
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: He hit me one day. He like, yo, you're in
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: the crib.
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, let bring about him and come over.
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, cool. He come here, like I
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: just want to apologize, bro. I'm like for what. He said,
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: I felt like.
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: I have not been a friend to you accountability.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: I said, I said, what you mean? He said, Noah,
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: listen to your podcast, bro, and you said something that
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: had hit me in my stomach. I'm like, damn me
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: talking to me, he said, Cause I felt like I
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: left you. He said, but I don't know how you
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: feel about coming outside, how you feel about moving. I said, Bro,
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: you just gotta asks. He said, you know what, You're
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: absolutely right. Bro. Now he'll call me oo what you're doing.
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: I'm pulling up on you. I'm doing this now. It's
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: like I can't get enough of these Niggas'll be like, damn,
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: leave me alone. I'm talking nigga, like, but like I
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: lost my friends that I really thought was really my friends,
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: and now being blind, I see who really did for
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: me because the people that I'm moving around with now, yo, bro,
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: now come in, come one one. My son stro shout
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: out to him. He like, start start using your stick, bro,
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: I said, man. Yea said, shut up, nigga. He said, nah, Bro,
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: you look cool with the stick.
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: You're like cool.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I look cool. He like, yeah, Bro, he said, nah, yo,
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: he said, when I see you with your stick, bro,
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: I get excited, my nigga. The reason why I letter
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: do the stick shit, I came from going to the
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: studio where somebody coming by myself now, and that's that's
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: motivation from friends. It's like, so, I I felt like
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: I gained so much going blind than I did singing,
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: but now be going blind. It just showed me who
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: there for me? Who not there for me? And I
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: just need to let them go.
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: Yo.
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: When I got shot, everybody gonna be at the hospital.
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: But then when I started waking up, I started seeing
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: who really there in rotations? Who I'm like, Yo, I
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: need fruit. Anybody running out the door to go get it?
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: Community, I said, nah, this is my brother.
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: My brother. He was with me when I got shot,
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: had a whole trip to Disney World.
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: Went took him in his door. Though.
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: The day I got off the rest spread and he
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: heard my voice, he said, I'm cutting this shit, this
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: trip shot. I'm on my way back now.
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: Hm.
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: Now, my he spusta been out there for seven days.
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: Only three days he spent out there, No two days.
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: He got on the M track and came right back
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: m just to be there with me. That's a love, right, there.
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: That's a lot.
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: I can't.
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: I went not trade none of my friends and for nothing.
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: I'm glad they they here for a reason.
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: I'm glad you had that fucking expence.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: What's your experience like?
• 49:03
  Speaker 3: See back cloud is a drug. So, like you said,
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: everybody's at the hospital. So like I've always been like popular,
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean, So everybody everybody knows you.
• 49:11
  Speaker 3: They just I woke up to a bunch of people
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: and I'm looking at them, like, hey, ain't you the
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: girl that suck my ex dick in the park? I
• 49:18
  Speaker 3: literally said that I didn't play. We was friends too,
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: shout out to you. But I literally had a bunch
• 49:24
  Speaker 3: of people just around me and I was just looking
• 49:27
  Speaker 3: and then it's like, okay, but you only want one person,
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: and that one person that I really wanted she was
• 49:31
  Speaker 3: not there and we were together every day that it
• 49:34
  Speaker 3: hurts and I was I just wrote. I couldn't even
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: talk because I had tubes so down. I couldn't speak.
• 49:39
  Speaker 3: I had my all my rip, my whole ripcage was shattered.
• 49:42
  Speaker 3: I had a bunch of broken bones. So I couldn't
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: do nothing but write in and write a little bit
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: because I barely could move my arms. I was weak,
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: and I was just asking for I was asking for her,
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: and I didn't see her, and then everybody was just like, oh,
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: telling me what she's doing. And then I think she
• 49:56
  Speaker 3: came once and she was like, I couldn't see you
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: like that.
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: D D.
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: That's why I don't respect nobody like that. My mama
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: don't want to seem me like this. My daddy don't
• 50:04
  Speaker 3: want to seem like this. My family don't want to
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: see me like this, but guess what they do. I
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: don't want to see me like this, but guess what
• 50:09
  Speaker 3: I do. So no, I'm not good enough because I
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: can't do what I used to do with you. But
• 50:15
  Speaker 3: I was great enough when.
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: I was able to you think that's really what it was.
• 50:18
  Speaker 3: I just feel like I don't feel like it was that.
• 50:20
  Speaker 3: I feel like people were used to you in a
• 50:21
  Speaker 3: certain way. And I'm the strong friend, you know what
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: I'm saying. I'm the one that's strong for everybody. You know,
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: So when I couldn't be strong for people and I
• 50:28
  Speaker 3: needed people to be strong for me, they wasn't. And
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: that's why I think I'm so independent and so strong
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: today because I didn't have the opportunity. You know what
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: I mean, Like my mom, this shit broke her.
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: But did you ever think about like shit? Look at
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: because I.
• 50:42
  Speaker 3: Know I don't give no I don't give nobody a grace,
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: bro because at the end of the day, I don't
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: want to see nobody in this situation. But I'm a mother.
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: I have a kid.
• 50:50
  Speaker 3: You understand I'm saying something. God for bit, something happened
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: to my kid. I love my kid unconditionally.
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: This is what you know.
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: This is what taught me. Unconditional love. I'm loving my
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: kid at any state, gova bit anything. You know what
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: I'm saying, that's unconditional love. So at the end of
• 51:01
  Speaker 3: the day, that's what I need everybody around me to
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: love me as my father. My mother day was there,
• 51:05
  Speaker 3: my family day was there. They didn't treat me no different.
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: They was making wheelchair jokes. They was doing what they
• 51:08
  Speaker 3: had to do. They wasn't happy with the situation.
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: They was angry.
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: My mother pushed me out her pussy. You don't think
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: she was broken. I was her first child. We did
• 51:16
  Speaker 3: everything together walking. You know what I'm saying. My father,
• 51:18
  Speaker 3: I'm his first daughter. My grandmother, I'm her first granddaughter.
• 51:21
  Speaker 3: I'm my aunt's first nieces. I'm the first of everything
• 51:23
  Speaker 3: in my family. You know what I'm saying. People still
• 51:26
  Speaker 3: showed up at me. So I didn't make excuses for
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: friends because I know where I would be now. I
• 51:30
  Speaker 3: had guy friends, my guy friends, and this is why
• 51:33
  Speaker 3: I look at men differently, and I know it's a
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: different type of loyalty. My guy friend, he was away
• 51:38
  Speaker 3: all the way in Florida. It's my brother. He flew
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: back to Queen's next day, you know what I'm saying,
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: Like he was far away. They was there, my best friend.
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: He had beef.
• 51:47
  Speaker 3: He couldn't really move around too much. He caught my
• 51:49
  Speaker 3: mother check on her every day. God rest his soul.
• 51:52
  Speaker 3: My other brother, Hollywood, he he died as well, but
• 51:57
  Speaker 3: he was there with the hospital for me every day.
• 51:59
  Speaker 3: He was a nursing school, coming all the way from
• 52:01
  Speaker 3: Queens to Manhattan every day, from Long Island to Queens
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: to this to that, just every day, just to make sure,
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: just to sit there, even if I'm sleeping. I had
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: a friend that was homeless, and he was there every day,
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: breaking curfew from the show to all types of shit,
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: sneaking in the hospital, trying to spend the night in
• 52:15
  Speaker 3: the hospital with me, so much so that my mother
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: let him stay in my room because he checked on
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: me so much when I was in the hospital. Shout
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: out to Giovanni. These are the people that I won't forget.
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, because that's unconditional. The people
• 52:26
  Speaker 3: that checked on my mother because my mother needed somebody
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: in those moments, or them that time when I was going.
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: So it's like, I don't make excuses for people. I
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: don't give people grace. I don't feel bad for anyone,
• 52:37
  Speaker 3: and I don't feel bad for how treating them in
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: their relationships all the way that they are. I do
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: appreciate the people that I was different because I have
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: a lot of good people that I was there and
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: we may no longer be closed, but I'll never forget y'all.
• 52:47
  Speaker 3: I'll always be grateful, you know what I mean.
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: Let me ask you this. Do y'all feel like when
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: somebody's been hurt and the friends says they didn't come
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: to this to see you because they couldn't see you
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: like that, do you feel like that's an excuse?
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, just like when people say, oh, I couldn't when
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: somebody died I couldn't see them like that. Somebody, somebody thigga,
• 53:05
  Speaker 3: that's the last time. And I don't really I don't
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: really value funerals because I know that the body is
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: not physically there. But at the end of the day,
• 53:12
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna make sure. If I'm not going to make
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: sure I check on your mom's I'm gonna make sure
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: I'm doing something, show up some type of way you
• 53:18
  Speaker 3: show us presence.
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I ain't gonna lie. I would have to
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: disagree because I got friends like that, Like that's in jail.
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: He straight tell you, y'all dieing't coming to the funeral,
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: he said, cause I want to remember y'all. How I
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: remember y'all.
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: That's what I said. So that's different if somebody is
• 53:34
  Speaker 3: telling you before here. But it's the motherfuckers that sit
• 53:37
  Speaker 3: there and pretend and do this and do that. And
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: then how about for men, the people that be in
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: the streets with you every day doing all this gangster ship.
• 53:44
  Speaker 3: Something happened for you. They're not even going to spend
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: they're not even thinking about it. They're not even putting
• 53:48
  Speaker 3: no money in your mama's packete. They helped you lose
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: your life. They'll help you lose everything, but won't help
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: you get shipped, not even a casket. The people that
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: you the people that I look up to, is the
• 53:56
  Speaker 3: people that I know if something happened today, they're gonna
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: help my mama carry my cast it out.
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: But those are the ones that you want carrying it.
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: I don't want nobody carrying.
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: I don't want nobody that don't want to be there.
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: An I've been to, but that's understanding. I've lost a
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: friend every year since I got shot to gun violence.
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. I've lost people close to me.
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: I've lost people younger than me, and I got shot
• 54:17
  Speaker 3: at fifteen, so to lose somebody younger than me is crazy,
• 54:20
  Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. So I had to go
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: to those funerals. And the final funeral that I did
• 54:24
  Speaker 3: was d Asia. She died she was about thirteen, and
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: I said no. You know what I'm saying. I said, no,
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: no more funerals. I can't do it. I can't do
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: funerals and next ones I'll go to. You know, with
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: my longevity, my parents you know when they get older
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: and stuff like that, and somebody that I'm really really
• 54:41
  Speaker 3: close to. But I hate people that just go to
• 54:43
  Speaker 3: funerals for no reason. It's just people that they know
• 54:45
  Speaker 3: of and stuff.
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: Like they want to make a picture where every people
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: just want to be in pictures.
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: They just want to be I can't do funerals for sport.
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: After me, I got to really love you for me to.
• 54:54
  Speaker 3: Amen, because I'm not putting myself through and I don't
• 54:57
  Speaker 3: handle grief the right way. I'll be mad, Like you
• 55:01
  Speaker 3: would think I don't care.
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: I don't think I had on grief or I don't.
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: Think I don't you would think I don't care because
• 55:06
  Speaker 3: it's just like I'm so used to just like I
• 55:08
  Speaker 3: a grieve different, Yeah, because I'll be hurt on the inside,
• 55:12
  Speaker 3: and then it'll be those random belts. It'll be these
• 55:13
  Speaker 3: random belts of moments while I'll get these blasts of
• 55:15
  Speaker 3: emotions and it's like, damn, I miss my homie, you
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. But then there's other times, just
• 55:20
  Speaker 3: like you know what life goes on, you know what
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: I mean, Like life goes on, and I think because
• 55:24
  Speaker 3: I lost so much young, like losing your legs, I
• 55:26
  Speaker 3: had to grieve myself. I had to grieve my body
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: at fifteen, I had to grieve my my mobility so young.
• 55:33
  Speaker 3: So it's like that was just a different type of grief,
• 55:35
  Speaker 3: and I handled that. I handled that shit with grace,
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean. People wouldn't know how I
• 55:39
  Speaker 3: was feeling, like I felt my feelings on my own,
• 55:41
  Speaker 3: but I never let them shit show. My mama and
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: my daddy came out, and I was strong for them.
• 55:45
  Speaker 3: I smiled all laugh because I already know how they
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: was gonna feel if they've seen me fucked up every day.
• 55:49
  Speaker 3: I'm the oldest of my sibling.
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: That shit hurts you, though, it does because I was
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: the same way, like I was keeping it in. I
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: just wanted everybody around me to be happy, but I
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: was really dying it.
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: To a point.
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: One day I told my mother, like I'm only alift
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: because of y'all, and they didn't understand it, like what
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: are you talking about saying I'm only head to keep
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: y'all happy? I'm not happy, and that shit fucked everybody up,
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: Like what are you?
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: What are you talking about?
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: The reason why I ain't check out is because I'm
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: making y'all happy. I'm miserable waking up like this every day.
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: So then it was like, yeah, but you got other
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: things to live for, Like what.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: Now?
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: I don't feel like that. Now now y'all gonna get
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: all of me. Fuck that, like the good, the bad,
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: the ugly.
• 56:29
  Speaker 2: Y'all getting all of me now.
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: But before I'm like, I'm doing this shit to make
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: my mother happy, holding on to my mother. Shoulders she happy?
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: This shit?
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: Don't make me have this shit taking away my independence
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: your son. Yeah, but at that time, I ain't gonna lie.
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: I feel like my son was better without me.
• 56:44
  Speaker 3: You felt like you was just a cripple his life and.
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: I'm just here a bird.
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: Can we go to the store.
• 56:52
  Speaker 2: You don't understand, yuh?
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: I don't feel safe awkard with you, Like I ain't
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: tell him that, but that's how I don't feel safe.
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: And and that's parenting right there. That's some tough ship.
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And it's like I feel like I'm hindering, like
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: I'm holding his life back because of my condition.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: That's tough for Like, for that example, you just gave
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: like your son to be like yo, like I want
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: to go to the store.
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: And you're telling.
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: Five because of your fear, Like this is when he
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: falls five.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: It's like maintaining. Then it's like it's just me and
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: him and.
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: I And as a father, you're you feel like your
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: biggest offering to your children.
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: Is protection, protection, and I feel like I'm keeping So.
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: I got to tell you, I got to deny you
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: from myself right now, that's.
• 57:31
  Speaker 3: From a parent period. Protection, your money, the mother wants
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: to protect, and the fund.
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: Right that's a parent period.
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: So it's like when you keep letting him down that ship,
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: that should hurts.
• 57:39
  Speaker 2: You even more.
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: They eventually start to look like they start to look
• 57:42
  Speaker 3: at you how you look at myself.
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: They're looking at him like a right, will mommy come
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: we go to the store, but Daddy keep telling me no.
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: It's like then they start he started looking at me funny.
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: But it's like now that he's older, he understands now
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: way you more now to a point like, man, fuck,
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: it is what it is. I'm gonna go there like yo,
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: everybody trying to rush to me. Nah, this is something
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: I gotta do. You wanna go to basketball practice? Come on,
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: let's go dollars.
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: Let's girl.
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: I'm' i'm'a trust you to crossman across the street. I said, shit,
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: don't look right. Let me know doubtless, cause like, don't
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: my when I and I tell him, I tell my
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: brother if shit coming our way, like if my past
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: decide to hunt me, mm, don't worry about me.
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: Just go.
• 58:19
  Speaker 1: I'm'a deal with it.
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: Just go.
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: Don't worry about y'all. Shouldn't have to be effected of
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: what I did in my past. Just go, i'm'a deal
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: with it. They're like, nah, ween, nigga, just go, Like
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: my son, don't nigga run the safety.
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: You had them conversations with me. I have them conversations
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: like in the event that.
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if anything was to happen, don't worry about me.
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: Just go.
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: Mm like I talked him. When we turn this corner
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: and we ben in this corner, they been with us,
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: take flight. Go I'm good. Don't try to drag me
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: along cause you you just weighing yourself down. Just go.
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: I got this nigga like, alright, cool rat. They respect it.
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: It's times I ran into people that like we had
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: static back in the days, and I I'm like, yo,
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: like I'm standing outside the guy you like, yo, see no,
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: what up? I heard that voice. I'm like, fuck cause
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: you know that voice and I'm with my son, mm,
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: his mother, his mother in the star. I'm like, yo,
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: dollar's going to store cause like I don't know what
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: type of time he's on. He goes in the store.
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: So my baby mama, she see what's going on, Like
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: stay in the store.
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: He came mind.
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: He's like, yo, what's good?
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: Bro?
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: Like what up?
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: He like it was a siling.
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: He like, y'all heard what happened to you? Yeah?
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: And like what is we doing?
• 59:26
  Speaker 3: Bro?
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: Cut to smile. He's like, y'all, I don't wish. I
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: don't know nobody bro mm sorry. He like I'm holding
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: my hand out getting nigga at pound be talking regularly,
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: like Yo, that shit we was beefing about back in
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: the days. That shit ain't about nothing, Yo. He was dumb,
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: he was young. We this, that and the third and
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: my son came out and I got my son behind
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: me because I still don't know what type of time.
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: He still don't know what type of time you on?
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: He like, yo, brol, but YO, take my number. So
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: I'm like, alright, bro, what's your number? But my son
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: put it in the phone bag and my mom he's like,
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: I ain't never gonna use this number. There you take
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: your number before like yo, height easy, bro, a difference.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: So he jumped in the car by let's go because
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: I don't know if hes gonna spind his block. Let's go.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: And for a minute, it's like take my son hand
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: because if you see this car, just go ahead. He cool,
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: no problem.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: Thirteen years nobody.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: Ran down on me.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 3: Thank god, God, it's good.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: It's people heard what happened to you, bro, which I
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 2: don't nobody. I appreciate it.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: It's some people that don't care about the disability and
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 3: they'll still do it, like.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you want to drink, bro.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I'm good probably with you. With you?
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: This is this is paranoia you speaking of paranoia? Is
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: that what this is?
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: No, I wouldn't say paranoia demons. It's like my I
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: don't want my my, my past to come back, and.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 3: You've got to move and you gotta move.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I mean, because you're having like a
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: an awareness of what could what happened, you know what
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: I mean? Like and it's fucked up because I'm listening
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: to it. It's like you're listening to like the story
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 2: of a man being like they're of all the things
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: that are possible today. Violence is not off the table.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 2: Especially even with this.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: People look at it like I got the bend on you.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: Now what you gonna do?
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 3: It depends on how far the beef goes. And there's
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 3: some people with no humility that will go that far.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 3: But then there's some people that feel like there's no
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 3: point in doing anything because of you know what I'm saying,
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 3: because you can't see.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they'll take advantage. I couldn't beat you before I
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: could beat you.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: Let me ask you something. I'm gonna ask you a
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 2: real question. Do you think you have done things two
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 2: people in this life to warrant that say that, to
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: warrant that type of reaction? Not for it.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: Don't gotta be serious like that.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: People just don't give a fuck.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 3: You don't know how far anybody will take it. People
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 3: on different levels.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: Even seeing we both could see I can whip your ass.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 2: You gonna go back and go get a gun off me?
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: You just fought no gun out on none of that.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: I'm not trying to care. Just went back and got
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: a gun to try to kill me.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: So not picture yo yo, When he breaks my nose,
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: then he busts my ship open no, I never got
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: my gack get him. I'm gonna get him, like one
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: time that it pissed me off, but I held it down.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: He walked like, we're in the club and the guy
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: he whispering, my heat, I got you. I'm like, I
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: know who it is.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 3: He did it.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: I know he is, like, I got you now whisper
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: back in.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 2: His here do something, Blondie.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: No, like, you're not taking my heart.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 3: Bro. Mm hmmm.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: He's like, no, I'm just playing with your bro. So no,
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: I don't play with it.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: I said, Yo, you just see me walking through the club.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: But the best believe I got a whole bunch of
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: killers around me. After that, well he did.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 2: He backed up.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: He thought about it. He is you crazy? But mind you,
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: I don't got nobody in there. But I'm showing you
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: I'm still a nigga if I want to be Oh
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: my god, I'm just playing with your bro. I'm just
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: playing with you, bro. You want to drink, bro.
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 3: But that's but that's the importance of having real people
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 3: around you in situations like that, especially when you know
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 3: you have certain things, because like I said, there's people
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 3: that I know it's gonna go to that furthest sting
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 3: for me, I've been in shootout, not me shooting because
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 3: I was just a bystander. I'm a lady. Contrary to
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 3: popular belief, I'm a lady. I was just somewhere lit.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 3: So it was just like for me, just listening to
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 3: your story is different because mine wasn't for me, you
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: get what I'm saying. So, but there's people that came up.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 3: But you know what, but you had that day that day,
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 3: but you know what I mean, you had beef prior
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 3: to your situation. I've never had beef, and I still
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 3: don't you know what I'm saying. So it was just like, well,
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 3: maybe I got someone in the wheelchair. Maybe I don't
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 3: consider it that, but no, for real, like I just
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 3: I don't like just hearing the with the way you
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 3: said it because I have people that, like, you know,
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 3: random people. I'll go get into it with random people,
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 3: but I don't have it as to where it's like damn,
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 3: the person that did this to me or something else,
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 3: or somebody might do something to me, just because I've
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 3: had experience before walking. I had girls that don't like
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 3: me before the chair, but they're not gonna say nothing.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 3: They're not gonna do nothing because they wasn't doing shit
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 3: when I was walking, you know what I'm saying. But
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 3: it's like for guys, it's a totally different thing because
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 3: it could go so and don't don't get me wrong,
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 3: females take it far. Females is killers too. I know
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 3: some bitches that that get that really get down, you
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 3: know say I'm saying. But at the same time, it's
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 3: just like damn. It's really literally like a damn feeling
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 3: because I'm in a chair and I like when my child,
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 3: like I get into arguments with people and I'm not
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 3: gonna lie. My son, he'd be like, he'll go right
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 3: back with them. He don't play about me. And that
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 3: just what scares me because it's like, I know he
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 3: gonna get bigger one day. I know he gonna get older,
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 3: and I gotta prep him, and I gotta prepare him
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 3: for top skin because you know, when he get into
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 3: arguments with kids at school and stuff, you know, anything
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 3: like you get into drum with somebody, they gonna have to, Oh,
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 3: your mom's in a chair, you know what I'm saying.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 3: You gotta just be ready to not even give a
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 3: fuck about that. You gotta let that shit just fall
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 3: off of you, you know what I mean, Because it's
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 3: just like, I know, I'm my son's so spot like
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 3: at this age, he do not play about me at all,
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So it's like, and I
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 3: had him in the chair, so I never had that
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 3: experience of what you were feeling, like where you said, oh,
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: I didn't feel comfortable to do this. I made it happen.
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 3: People was telling me what I wasn't going to able
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 3: to do it. I'm like, man, I've been in this
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: ship as many years because at the time I had
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 3: my son in twenteen nineteen, I was in a chair
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 3: for eight years already.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: We had him in the chair. Yeah, So let me
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 2: ask a question that might be ignorant as fuck, like
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 2: was it an easier pregnancy because of that?
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 3: It was just regular easy compared to what people said,
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 3: I didn't have a high risk.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: I didn't.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 3: It was just normal. I peed all the time. I
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 3: mean at the my my last month, I started wearing
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 3: panpus because I was just peeing all the time and
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 3: my blood it was just like fuck it. And then
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 3: plus I'm sitting on my blood. You know what I'm saying.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 3: So everything is just more pressure. And I'm smaller, so
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 3: just being skinny, he's leaning on my kidneys and he's
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 3: just pressing on the ship. I didn't have any complications.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 3: I pushed him right out. So it was just like
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 3: it was simple. It wasn't like I can't say it
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 3: was easier heart because I never had the experience walking yeah,
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 3: I said, but from my experience, it was just pretty
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 3: much like whatever is. And the doctors didn't believe it.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 3: Like when I gave birth. It was literally like the
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 3: every obgyn in the hospital this they all came to
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 3: just watch. They're like, oh my god, you would have
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 3: thought I was going the verse of the fucking Messiah.
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 3: They're just looking at like, and I'm performing. I got
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 3: my hand up to God because this shit hurt, just
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 3: like and I'm playing gospel music.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 2: And I know it did, but I'm just thinking, because
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I do.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 3: I fell in down there. So I felt every part.
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 3: And that's the worst part about it, because I was like,
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 3: if it was any time, if we not to feel
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 3: some bit of time, and I couldn't get the epidoor.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 3: I didn't want the episode. I always wanted to do natural,
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 3: but even if I could, I don't think I could
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 3: because I have the bullet in my back and they
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 3: have to put a needle there. I wouldn't want to
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 3: could That needle could paralyze you, so I wouldn't want
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 3: to take away what I already have. So i'body's fucking
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 3: And it was also the beauty of just being able
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 3: to feel it. Wow, you know what I mean, because
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 3: there's some women that can't. And I was just like, Wow,
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 3: this shit is crazy. That was at the beginning. I
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 3: thought that shit was a joke. I was like, these pitches, pussy,
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 3: why because I'm getting the contract. But that wasn't before
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 3: my water broke. Once my water broke, I said hell no,
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 3: I said, hell no, cut me the fuck open. You
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 3: feel that shit going down. It feels like you're taking
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 3: the biggest ship, I promise you. It feels like you're
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 3: taking the biggest, sharpest shit out of your the sharpest
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 3: like it felt sharp, like it felt like you're getting sad,
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 3: like in your back, like the contractions feel like the
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 3: worst cramps in the world. Like that shit, it feels
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 3: like a Charlie horse in your stomach, in your back,
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 3: and your ass. So that's what I felt, and this
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 3: is why.
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 2: Niggas gott to pipe down all this smoke for women, bro,
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 2: because it's like, I can't even.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 3: The black woman is able to take on the most
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 3: amount of pain in the world. And women period could
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 3: take on pain, but the black woman, it has the
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 3: highest pain tolerance. And that's the craziest, parably scientifically proven, checking.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 2: Out, very scientific.
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 3: I love my black queens, man, but it's just but
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 3: just like like I said, just the experience of just
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 3: my son, this is all he knows. He doesn't know
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 3: me from walking, but we have our conversations. He came
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 3: to me about two years ago and he's like, you guys,
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 3: shot in your back right, like he literally said it
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 3: to me.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: It's just regular should be the worst.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 3: And he asked me and it was like I was
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 3: like like it was like one of those like wow,
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 3: like we're about to have this real coming to life
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 3: moment this early, like this is how what happens, because
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 3: he was this was about he was about four or three, and.
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 2: Then she's done telling us, So I want you to tell.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 3: You he was about he was about three and he
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 3: literally he's six now. So yeah, this is a minute ago.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 3: I remember we were stading on my couch and I
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 3: want I think I recorded it, but I can't remember it.
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 3: But it wasn't like the first part like I had
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 3: to react him because he already said it, because it's
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 3: not like I just had their camera out. So I'm
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 3: just listening to him. He's like, yeah, you got shot
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 3: in your back, right. I said, how you know? He said,
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 3: because I just know things. He said, So the guy
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 3: that did it, he's a bad guy, you know what
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 3: I mean, Like he was asking me questions and he
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 3: was like, I want to kill him. He said, that's
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 3: just so calmly, like you know what I'm saying. He
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 3: still say it. And that's the crazy part, because it's
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 3: like I'll be trying to teach him, like, you know,
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 3: we don't fill those ways towards people, because I don't
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 3: ever want him to think vengeance is is because vengeance
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 3: is mine, said the Lord, And I'm very mindful of that.
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 3: I'm raising a young black king. I'm not raising a
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 3: little nigga. So I just want to make sure that
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 3: he knows that I don't want him to be like
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 3: the person that did this to me just because somebody
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 3: did this to me. Violence is never the answer and
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 3: when he said it, And then the other day I
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 3: was standing up in my walker because I'm just tying
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 3: to stretch my legs out getting back in therapy. He
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 3: was like, mommy, you you could walk again, and I'm
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 3: like no. He's like, I was like, what happened? Like
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 3: you sad? And he was like, I'm not sad at you.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 3: I'm just sad that you gotta be in a wheelchair.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 3: He was said, I just want you to walk, And
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 3: that made me sad. That shit made me like it
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 3: broke my heart because then it made me angry at
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 3: the person that did this to me, because it's like
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 3: somebody took away something from me that I could have
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 3: given to my son that could have made his life
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 3: even differently, because there's things that I want to do.
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 3: Like I said on the last podcast we did, that's
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 3: just me and my son, but sometimes I have to
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 3: incorporate other people. Even the other day this was like Thursday,
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 3: I just took him out. We went to this place
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 3: and it's a play place, but the playplace is in
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 3: the basement, so it's elevated. The first elevator that shit
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 3: wasn't working, so we in the elevator we just wait,
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 3: and I'm just getting discouraged. I'm like, oh, my fucking god.
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 3: So now we're like, oh, we're like oh. He's like, Mommy,
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 3: we could just go down to escal Now. I know
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 3: how to go down the escalator, but I was trying
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 3: not to do things that could fuck me up anymore.
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 3: I'm already a vegetable. I'm not trying to be a
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 3: frozen one. So I'm just like, Okay, let me just
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 3: you know, sit there, let me just figure it out.
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 3: But as soon as I'm about to go down the escalator,
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 3: a security guard comes in, Oh, there's another elevator over there.
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 1: Did that It's working?
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 3: And I was just like, dang god, because I didn't
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 3: want to destroy him with seeing all the other kids
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 3: go downstairs. Just go right down the escalator. And he
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 3: knows the play places down there, he knows what we
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 3: came to do, and he would have been hurt. And
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 3: he was like, oh, well, we just got to go
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 3: to another one, right, That's the way his mind said work,
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 3: not realized them. We just paid a fifty six dollars
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 3: over to get here. Where are we going? Like I said,
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 3: where are we going?
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 3: But he handles it pretty well, he don't play about me.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 3: If somebody disrespects me, he defends me, even though I
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 3: don't encourage that, because I'm supposed to protect him, and
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 3: that's what I do do to the best of my ability. Luckily,
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 3: I'm blessed to have no one really try me on
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 3: that forefront to where it's that bad. But I have
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 3: people get crazy with my kid there, and my kid
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 3: be on go. He'd be on bad time right with me.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 3: He'd be like what he'd be putting this little middle finger.
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 3: He'd be like, like, you gotta teach your son some men.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 3: My baby got minutes he just gonna play about his moment.
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 3: And I'm never gonna tell my son not to defend
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 3: his mother because that's what you're gonna do.
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 1: That's a big fat period.
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 3: Now, how did your son like come to you with
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 3: that moment?
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: Like he was scared to ask me?
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 3: How old was he?
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: He was seven. I feel like he been knew, but
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: it was just the process of him asking me, like.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 3: What happened, just him preparing himself to ask.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: He had people talking about it, so he knew I
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: wasn't blind. He's like, oh, how did you get blind?
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: So I'm like somebody hit me. He said, somebody hit you.
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, somebody hit me. He's like oh, and
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 1: he said where they hit you at? So I'm like
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: he knows something. I said, what do you know?
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 2: Zat man?
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: And he started laughing. I'm like, no, what did you do?
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: You know? You like, oh, you got shot I said,
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 1: So if you know what happened to me while you're
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: asking me, he said, oh, where did he shot you at?
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: And he started feeling on feeling in the back of
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: my head. He telling me everywhere I got shot at,
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 1: And just like just to explain that to a seven
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: year old like and let him fill my bullet wounds
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 1: and shit, that shit broke me cause it's like, damn,
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 1: like these are these are the bullet wounds that change
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 1: not just my life, your life. So it's like that
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: that ship was a hard pillar swak to swallow. Now
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: it's like certain things he'd be wanting to talk about,
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 1: certain thing though, certain things he wanted to do. He's
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: like your father lut and then he'll stop, you ain't
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 1: nothing because he I guess he felt like, oh, if
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 1: he asked me to do something that he felt like
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: I can do, it's gonna crush me. I'm like, nah,
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: looks like what you want to do. I'm like, yo,
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 1: but you know it's gonna take you don't want to
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 1: do this, and so it's like we don't need nobody.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: Come on, let's go. You know what you like.
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 2: We go by you go buy your clothes.
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 1: We can go downtown.
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 2: We could do this.
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: We go to my had, like, I don't care, Like
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 1: I teach you how to travel. I know to travel
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: still different way around. I told him, even if we
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: get lost, that's the best way to know how to navigate,
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 1: Like be good. We don't worry about it. But then
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: I had a conversation with my little brother. I said, yoh,
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 1: you know, it's a lot of stuff I can't do. Bro,
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: I said, I need you to step up. Like we
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 1: could go me and him go go to the park.
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 2: We could dribble the basketball.
• 1:13:18
  Speaker 1: I can't. I don't know if he doing it right.
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that's why I need you to
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 1: step in at like take the place of being me. Bro.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 1: Like how I did? He like, say no more, Bro,
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: I got you. He came, he got my son, He
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 1: took him outside. He playing basketball. My son came in
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 1: he like he had fun, and I text my brother,
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: I said, thank you, bro, that's all I just want
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 1: you to do. Just give him, like give him the
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 1: life that you know I would want to give him.
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: I can't go to the park and do a lot
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 1: of shit with him that you could do. Plus it's
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 1: like summertime parks, a lot of parks get shot up
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 1: in different so I can't travel to the good Yeah,
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: I can't watch what's going on. I can't take him
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: to the good parks you can. So that's another reason
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 1: why you know, this, this sable shake could be hard,
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 1: but then it makes you strong. It makes you stronger,
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 1: it makes you It.
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 3: Makes specially doing it, especially doing it like our way,
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 3: you know, because we're independent people and we didn't let's
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 3: just stop us where a lot of people tend to
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 3: let things break them and people don't realize just because
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 3: I don't let you see me break, don't mean I
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 3: was never broken, you know what I mean. I had
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 3: to mend myself back into this strong being. And you
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 3: know it's still sometimes where some pieces fall off, but
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 3: I pick them up and I goot them back on
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 3: and I get right back the fuck up. And that's
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 3: what people. People think because you're strong, you've never been weak,
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 3: and it's not And weakness can be a strength if
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 3: you use it properly, because people will see our disabilities
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 3: as a weakness, and people will feel sorry for us,
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 3: and they want us to feel sorry for ourselves just
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 3: because they're sorry about their life because they looking at it,
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 3: like a lot of people say like, oh, I wouldn't
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 3: know how to do it, because you're not even grateful
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 3: for what you have right now. You might have your sight,
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 3: you might have your limits, but you're not even grateful
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 3: for that. You're still miserable. And whereas we get those
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 3: things back, motherfucking my life a one, you know what
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 3: I'm saying, Like, because if I'm handling this with grace,
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 3: imagine when I get my ship back. God give me
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 3: a chance to get that ship back.
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 1: Listen, we ce bf W. We can't be fucked with Hello.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 1: Look at it. We can't be fuck with Hello.
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 3: And we raising kids. That's me raising kids that's gonna
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 3: be even more into it and into the.
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: World, like me being an adult. And the way it
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 1: is my son is way more helpful now to people
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: because it's like I'm sure he's the way he cared
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 1: for me. He had come in and he sees somebody
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 1: with the bags here, take it up the stairs, and
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: it's like, yo, you raised it, raised a good man.
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 1: And it's like na, like he just washed it. And
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 1: it's like I love that ship about him because even
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 1: like somebody did way like, oh, I don't know, like
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 1: how it is to raise a kid being blonde. I'm like,
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: the same way if it is singing. And then this
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 1: person proceeds to close their eyes and pretend they was blonde.
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 3: Who did that? And I said that, I said you
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 3: deserve a cap.
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 1: You close your eyes. You still don't know how it
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 1: feels and why you say that? I said, your eyes
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 1: is open now, And she's like, oh yeah, I'm sorry,
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: like oh, I didn't offend you. Now you good? But
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: then to me, it's like, yo, that's some fucking ignorance.
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 2: Shit ignorance.
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: I'm fourteen years old. I never had no man helped
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: me with my child. I never had nobody. I changed pampers,
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: I got ship on my hand and all that. I
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: washed them up.
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 2: I took them to get here.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: Because I took them to get I fixed breakfast, lunch, dinner,
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: I did it all they did this ship to me.
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 2: Getting ship on your hands while being blinds different different.
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: It is my pet pee, Like, yes, what for this
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 1: little boy, I'm gonna do it.
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna do it though, I'm gonna do it.
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 1: It's you know, it's times that I did ship that
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: I wasn't comfortable to do it, but I did it
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 1: for him, and I went in the bathroom. I cried
• 1:16:50
  Speaker 1: so he won't see it. There's times when a lot
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: of ship when he my son. One time I was
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 1: on like a little medicine ball, me was all in
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 1: the room and all that. That's when I was on
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: my asks him. My son came and he just kissed
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 1: my eyes and I just sat there and he went
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 1: back and he went playing, and she looked at me.
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 1: She said, leave out the room, and I just went
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 1: in the bathroom. I just started screaming, and then he
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 1: started screaming and everybody screaming. So it's like I'm playing
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 1: when really it's like damn, I'm calling through it, bro,
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 1: like why do you gotta face this ship?
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 2: Why do you?
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: And then it's like not even just my son, it's
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: just the kids in general, the kids period. Like my
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 1: little sister, she got twins. So he said, Uncle Chris
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 1: read this book to me m and then it fucked
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 1: me up. I'm like, I said, Booby, I can't read
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 1: it to you. He said, you need your glasses. I said,
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 1: they fall. I said, Booby, uncle Chris can't see. He said,
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: you need your glasses and he went room to try
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 1: to look for my glasses. And it's like, yo, I'm
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: just sitting up there, and like I called my sister.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 1: I said, Yo, keep your fucking kids away from your
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 1: She started last year while I said, yo, Booby just
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 1: asked me to read a book. She said, so make
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 1: up the story.
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 2: But you know what, so I'm not doing I'm not
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 2: lying to them. I think it's so interesting how both
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 2: of y'all have sons. And the thing is, you'all sons
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 2: are definitely going to be turned out to be beautiful
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 2: men because they already coming from this place where they
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 2: understand giving. But you have to have compassions and strong compassion,
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 2: so you're raily to.
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 1: Be dangerous too. Though. It's dangerous because like from her
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 1: talking about how son they met, our sons is protect this.
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: I keep telling my son, you don't. You're not here
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 1: to protect me I'm here to protect you. So like
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 1: when I'm talking, I'm talking to somebody in the streets,
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: So men stands in front of me, and I'm scared
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 1: of that because I don't know if it's the.
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 3: Don't don't don't be scared. Don't be scared. You have
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 3: to walk when you can't. Like like I always say,
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 3: I walk by faith in my bysight. So whenever something
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 3: whenever it's something like that happens, and even if I
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 3: get into a disagreement, I'm with my child. Don't nobody
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 3: putting mother fear of my heart because I know God
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 3: protect my child regardless of what I was. And you
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 3: know you're gonna be good as well. So them doing that,
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 3: that's just a that is a strong I get where
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 3: you say you can be fearful of it. I do
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 3: understand that. But you can't be scared because like that,
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 3: that just means you're raising them the right way. You
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 3: know you can't see so he gonna be.
• 1:19:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he gonna be your eyes.
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 1: That man stopped doing that. Bro, He's like what one
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 1: time if me and him and a cousin nigga bummed me.
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 1: So I'm like yo part in South and the argument started.
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 1: I'm like so he like, well, I'm like, I will
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: fuck you up. So we're going back and forth. But
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 1: he and all was blonde though mm hmm, I mean
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 1: it's stepped in front of me. I grabbed him. Brother,
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 1: don't ever in your life doing shit like that. So
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 1: the guy was like, yo, y'all, I even know you
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 1: was blind, homie, my bad this that and the third uh,
• 1:19:45
  Speaker 1: I might as well. He's like, y'all, I was wondering,
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 1: why are you holding onto niggas? And I'm coming up
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 1: the sidewalk. So I'm like, I'm like, yo, bro, it's cool.
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 1: But the mina when I walking, I said there, so
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 1: I gotta control my temper. Now that ship could have
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 1: called even walking. He like we would have had them
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, no, this ain't. This ain't for
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 1: you to do, bro, he said.
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 3: My son be like, just shut the fuck up, like
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 3: if you mad, he's gonna crash. And he's like, mommy, mommy,
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 3: I curse, curse. Go ahead, people like you start cursing
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 3: a little bad and ship and there's always some and
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 3: it's just like, no, we're not about to play. But
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 3: at the end of the day, like Wolf said, they
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 3: I get what you're saying, but it's just a blessing.
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 3: God made them that way for a reason. At the
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 3: end of the day, when they become husbands, when they
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 3: become you know, fathers, when they become leaders in their community,
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 3: they're gonna be protected to they at the end of
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 3: the day, protectors are protected as long as you're protecting
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 3: the right thing, and they're gonna protect other They're gonna
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 3: look out for other people with disabilities. My son don't
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 3: look at people with disabilities different, well for wheelchairs so far,
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 3: he says. He says some funny about something in the arm.
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 2: But I do. I do have to make fun of people.
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 3: I do have to close up. I have to go
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 3: in a second. So we want to leave them. I
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 3: just want to leave you guys off.
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 1: Wait.
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 3: At the end of the day, if you're newly disabled,
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 3: if you've been disabled, then you're not knowing who you are.
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 3: We can't teach you that. We don't even identify as that.
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 3: I identify as a walking.
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 1: Person, so you know, identify a nigga that can see exactly.
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 3: So at the end of the day, you gotta learn
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 3: to love yourself. You have to dig within and if
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 3: anything that we could say helps resonate with you. We're
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 3: grateful for that. But at the end of the day,
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 3: love yourself or nobody else will. What you gotta say.
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 1: Being blind is cool. You come over in the dark side.
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 3: Everybody want to be blind now.
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 1: Everybody want to be motherfucking blind man.
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 3: Nobody wearing glasses.
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 1: No one when Ray, Charles and Stevee wanting to doing
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 1: Nobody ain't want to do this shit that blind pop
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 1: you do. Everybody want to close their eyes on the
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 1: mo Nah. But I look at it like, man, we
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: we are superheroes. We all super powers. French. She can't walk,
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 1: but I I guarantee you she could go.
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 2: She could.
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 1: Her journey is way, way further than a lot of
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 1: people just walk. Is very dope, Cat, I always talk
• 1:22:02
  Speaker 1: about you, you're very dump like when she can't walk,
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 1: behind journey, she won't reach like the journey that you
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 1: on right now.
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 2: You're gonna go farther than the person who can walk.
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 1: Thank you, and no line. I look at it like
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 1: with my vision. Second thing, well, my vision is so
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 1: serious that people that can see can't sit, can't sit
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 1: at the table with me. It's different people that.
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 3: That's probably people that can walk can't walk the path
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 3: that I'm it's only for me. It's the path that
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 3: got put out for me.
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 1: What about you?
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 2: What about me? What about me? Mother?
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 3: You got to close them out with man.
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 2: Honestly, I've just been doing a lot of listening to
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 2: the both of y'all, and I just I love the
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 2: things that y'all gotta say. Y'all are very intelligent people.
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 2: I love your minds. I love the ship that you
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 2: think in your perspectives. I love your energy. I love
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 2: your commitment. You know what I mean, I really do.
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 2: So I'm inspired, I really genuinely inspired even just be
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 2: on the couch with y'all. Just genuinely feel lucky and
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful to be able to sit here with y'all.
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 1: And yes, one producer, you gotta get out of medium
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 1: fucking studio.
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 2: We gotta close it, close it. Yeah, I curse to
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 2: but yeah, like subscribe follow Frenchy if you follow, rating
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 2: and review, do all the good things and tell a.
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 1: Friend, telling friend, we'll be right back back in the
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 1: back in the b You're gonna see more of like.
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 3: Like subscribe to Blind but now I see And also
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 3: a really good show and.
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 1: This is this is not a blond podcast, even though
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 1: you see two blond superheroes too.
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 3: Blind.
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 1: I'm blind, Poppy.
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 2: You know you need to find me.
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 3: Come blond Bobby.
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 1: Blond stuff.
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 3: Can you take a picture of us well? And I
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 3: need my pictures by myself to know you said it's
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 3: out for We gotta eat.